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I don't know exactly when it is that I gave up, but it seems very difficult to find that will to fight that I once had. It has cost me greatly: it has cost me health, freedom, and happiness.
To say that I am fat is really an insult to the fat people in the world. Right now I weigh exactly 556lbs. This is not a typo. My back hurts, I pee constantly, I break furniture, I hate going out in public and usually just do my job and hide in my house. It is even affecting my relationship with Felix. See, Felix says he loves me, but I don't know how he can love a hideous blob. I want to love him back, but I have no clue what love is.
But this isn't to be a pity party, but a call to arms. I need to be accountable to someone other than myself. I know what to do. I was a world class athlete. I'm undefeated internationally in Greco Roman Wrestling. I've beaten Olympic Medalists for God Sake. At my best, I was 236 and a size 36 waist and 17 percent body fat (so not exactly slender but I fought to keep my weight up).
I know to eat less and exercise more. Right now I can barely walk without my back killing me. If I go to the store I need to lean on a cart. I have a recumbent bike and I need to set it up to work for me (I also have an eliptical that I can't use because I exceed the weight limit.
So what is this. If people don't mind, I'm going post my weight every Friday morning and give updates.
What have I changed: I started Monday by giving up my daily trip to McDonalds for breakfast. I was getting 2 sausage biscuits, 2 hash browns and a large coffee light and sweet. Now I have a bowl of cereal.
I am going to try to cut down on bread a bit. I usually have 2 sandwiches for lunch, but I'm going to cut down to one or find thin sliced bread (can't seem to find it).
Comments
Great Idea!
I'm fighting my own battles with weight, so I can identify just a little. I recognize the differences of scale. I'm "just" 265.
My brother had similar problems to yours. He always cited bad knees as the reason he couldn't lose weight. The truth was that he didn't want to live any more. He died three years ago of a massive heart attack and stroke.
Basicaly, he felt unloved. He pined for the same woman for years without finding the courage to tell her. You have someone who loves you. If you can accept Felix's love, it can provide "fuel" for your struggle. You are an intelligent, talented individual! You are worthy! Use that to keep going in your struggle.
I admire your determination and resourcefulness in this struggle. Go for it. I'll be here watching you and commenting as time allows.
Liz
p.s.
Pepperidge Farm makes a good nutritious thin sliced sandwich bread.
Good for you Katie! Enlisting
Good for you Katie! Enlisting a support network and making yourself accountable are big steps in the right direction.
Have you tried tracking calories in (from food), and out (from basal metabolism and exercise)? There are web sites and apps to make it pretty easy.
One I've tried is "Lose It!", www.loseit.com , and apps for Apple, Android, Kindle. It also has social networking features to use or not as you prefer, but that does make it possible to develop a larger support network of folks dealing with the same problem (and for you to support them).
I second the Pepperidge Farm whole wheat bread. about 45 calories per slice.
Kris
Kris
{I leave a trail of Kudos as I browse the site. Be careful where you step!}
weight loss
In the past nine months I have lost well over 140 pounds to where I am at 450 lbs down from 590 lbs. This was done with moderate exercise high protein low carb diet plus vegetables along with smaller portions. If you want to eat bread then use tortillas and walmart sells a brand called ole that is whole wheat, high fiber and high protein which will fill you up by eating one as a sandwich. The tortillas have at least 8 grams of protein as well as that much in fiber. Foods that are higher in fiber do not stay in your system and get converted to fat instead they go right out your colon.
You can still have mcdonalds but not every day once a week preferably once every two weeks just use a meal out as a reward and not an everyday thing.
Today I will have one meal due to being busy but I am eating out at Denny's but having the all you can eat pancakes but in doing this then I have to watch what I eat for next week or so.
Also stay away from drinking products that are loaded with nutrasweet which will make your body gain weight. A nutrasweet drink such as soda once or twice a week is fine but not everyday, it is better off to drink water. The water will fill you up and curb appetite in addition to hydrating you which is good for the skin.
note: the picture below is what I was at my heaviest weight.
Hugs,
Jenna From FL
Moderator/Editor
TopShelf BigCloset
It is a long road ahead but I will finally become who I should be.
The last time I commented on your circumstances ...
The last time I commented on your circumstances Katie, I got a right flea in my ear from Erin. However I am concerned about that figure, 556 Lbs.
Losing weight is not just about dieting, it's also about exercise. I'll quote my own experience although it's a different ball park.
Since nursing my Helen 24/7 I have become far less active. Despite eating less, I gained weight because I spend an inordinate time just sitting keeping her company because she gets bored and lonely. I just have to resolve to get back on my bike after the dreadful day.
Take care girl but all importantly take a little exercise. Go easy though because of your back problems.
It's all about burning more calories than you consume.
Hugs and go gently, Bevs.
weight loss hints
1) eat healthy. lowering calories too far and your body defends itself by storing fat. So reduce but do not go too far and specially don't do it too fast.
2) building any kind of muscles burns more calories and the effect is cumulative. So do muscle building exercises rather than calorie burning excercies.
3) Get up and out of bed as close to sunup as possible. The body's circadian rhythms govern weight loss and are best triggered by maximum exposure to sunlight. The exposed skin creates vit. D and that helps you absorb magnesium which aids in the absorption of calcium which is needed to build muscle and burn fat.
4) Measure do not guestimate portion control... or your portion size will increase overtime. Get a scale and use measuring cups.
5) Don't let a setback stop you. Go back to it when you realise you've 'fallen' you can rescue the rest of the day.
6) Reward yourself when reaching a goal. I lost a bunch of weight by treating myself to a 6" "subway" sandwhich if I lost ANY weight that week.
7) Make easy goals. Don't reach beyond what is easy to meet... celebrate when you reach them but don't make them so hard you want to punish yourself for not.
8) Do not set long term goals. Set goals by adherence and performance rather than physical (weight loss) or time measurements (2 lbs this week).
Use an online service like Atkins.com or WeightWatchers.com to track your weight... I believe both of these services allow you to share and those people who are interesed in your progress can follow it there.
Have difficulty with exercise equipment? Try raising them up so you can use your arms instead of legs. Remember resistance is important to strength building. Cardio improvements can over later once you can use the machines properly... also those weight limits are insurance/liability related and may not actually be real limits on what the machine can handle you may be able to use the machine... I regularly used the treadmills at a local gym that we rated at 'less than 300lbs' but at 450lbs it had no trouble making me hate it.
Dayna.
ps. Strength building exercises specially of long muscles groups like legs buttocks, stomach and back muscles will also help you stand/walk better and longer helping you along with weight loss. Also once you get below 499 consider surgery.
Weighty thoughts
The turning point for me was the realization that I was further around than up ... at my worst I hit 330 lbs, but I'm also just this side of requiring a booster to ride in the front seat of airbag-equipped cars. It would still be a good idea.
Growing up on a farm (60 head of cattle, usually a couple hogs, three acres (give or take) of garden and the rest of a half section in grain) one generally burnt serious calories just in the hours one puts in. Moving to Edmonton looking for work cost me that caloric output, but I kept eating as if I was there. Doubling my weight didn't take six months.
Diet is only part of the answer, you HAVE to get your energy output up. If it's a strain to stand, make a point of it ... ANYTHING that works your body will only help.
The recumbent might be a step too far, to be honest ... frankly I have one of my own, and while I certainly appreciate its greater efficiency while commuting, in my opinion its stance and balance issues are more of a challenge than traditional two-wheeler. I'd recommend going with a collapsible, probably with not more than 20" wheels, to start. Smaller wheels would require more work to cover the same ground anyways, and imho the stance and the ability to legally use sidewalks if there's room would outweigh the streetbike's higher speed.
It's the little things that add up that do the most ... park on the outer edge of the lot if you drive to a shopping centre, use the stairs instead of elevators or escalators (if you stop and look around halfway up, who cares?). If you can't reliably find thin-sliced bread, switch to mixed grain ... takes more to digest, even stomach muscles have to burn calories to work. Drink 2% instead of homogenized milk, limit your caffeine intake - yes, it might act as a temporary boost to energy, but the strain it puts on the rest of your system at the least outwieghs any benefit it might have. One caveat - I've yet to find any "artificial" sweetener that doesn't leave the aftertaste of old, fermented sweatsocks. Try instead to simply limit your overall sugar intake. Feel free to drink water instead of soft drinks, or to dilute them as necessary.
DO NOT DEHYDRATE YOURSELF ... there is a point at which drinking mass quantities of water is harmful, but it's WAAAAAY up there. Unless your tap water comes with both bouquet and body, guzzle at will ... and if it does, bottled water isn't THAT expensive unless you get silly about it. Your liver and kidneys are working hard 24/7 trying to flush poisons and excess out of your system, give them something to work with.
Final thought, at least for this post, keeping track of poundage isn't necessarily the best marker. Keep at it, by all means, but for your own peace of mind, keeping track inches lost and keeping track of your energy levels are, at least in my opinion, better.
You know what to do
But you have to want to do it, and not fudge. It's so easy to say, "Just this once," over and over. The thing is if you really want something you can achieve it, it just takes work. I'm writing two stories right now and I want to finish them in the worse way, but you know what? I keep putting them off, I always have an excuse not to write. When I was a smoker, I decided to quit one day and just did it. I havent smoked for over forty years, and it was hard but I did it by putting my mind to it. Yes I was tempted, but knew if I smoked one cigarette I would have to start all over agin. The same can be said for eating, draw a line you won't cross, EVER, and you'll lose weight, but if you cheat, you'll cheat over and over. It's what's in you brain that tells you what and what not to do, good luck, Arecee
You know what to do
But you have to want to do it, and not fudge. It's so easy to say, "Just this once," over and over. The thing is if you really want something you can achieve it, it just takes work. I'm writing two stories right now and I want to finish them in the worse way, but you know what? I keep putting them off, I always have an excuse not to write. When I was a smoker, I decided to quit one day and just did it. I havent smoked for over forty years, and it was hard but I did it by putting my mind to it. Yes I was tempted, but knew if I smoked one cigarette I would have to start all over agin. The same can be said for eating, draw a line you won't cross, EVER, and you'll lose weight, but if you cheat, you'll cheat over and over. It's what's in you brain that tells you what and what not to do, good luck, Arecee
You go girl.
I was heavier than was healthy and my Doctor was concerned that my prediabetic condition would escalate to full-blown diabetes. She suggested that I cut down on my carbs. So I looked at my diet and found a good sized chunk of carbs that I was consuming almost daily, (like you McDonald's Breakfast) and without doing anything else, I lost 40 lbs. Unfortunately, I still have nearly that much to lose and can't seem to find the key to doing so.
But you go girl. Wait until that seems to be routine and then find another place to cut calories and take a whack at it. As you lose weight, you'll be able to get in to the swing of exercise. What ever you do don't skip meals. That will just lower your metabolism.
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
if your in the southeast
check your local Publix bakery, for all the bread they make in the store, they have both a regular and thin bread slicer. their multi grain is nice as is the pumpernickel and rye. there's also challah (egg bread).
a man's reach should exceed his grasp,. Or what's a heaven for?
Question of what you're eating
It might not be a question of how much you eat, but rather what you eat. A heavy carb diet with little exercise will trick the body into panic mode, and cause it to store fat from every source of food. However, fat on its own will pass through the system more quickly if your body's response isn't to store it. That's mainly how Atkins works, and why it puts people through an induction phase to cut out carbs completely at first. Not that I'm suggesting that kind of diet, as it does have it's risks, but merely giving it as an example.
That being said, you will need some carbs if you exercise. Personally, I exercise in the mornings (jog, sometimes yoga) before eating. It kick starts the metabolism, and pretty much negates most of what you eat for breakfast. Again, not for everybody though. Some people might pass out if they don't eat first.
Hope this doesn't come off as "preachy" though. It's just my personal experience. I had issues with pastas, to where I literally had to cut myself off. :P
~Taylor Ryan
My muse suffers from insomnia, and it keeps me up at night.
Well you know you made this post for a reason
The usual suspects are:
a) You know other people struggle too.
b) Weight loss is unfortunately not something you can have people hold your hand for. It is a conversation with your body to find out what is best for it.
c) All the tools people will offer is just a way to help the body provide you with the proper feedback and for you to listen to it. An example of how people abuse the system is when I was overhearing a conversation at a buffet where two people say that they better eat as much as they can in the next 20 minutes as the body will not realize it is full until 20 minutes has passed.
d) You don't want to face the discomfort of weight loss, physical or mental. Well its up to you to set the priorities, you can't share out this problem, unfortunately, as a dieter gets resentful listening to skinny people. But then how that skinny person stay thin or get thin in the first place?
e) Weight-loss is a project just like any other, like writing a story, it needs to be outlined, planned, a final goal set. Where it differs is that then the epilogue is the dieter learns their lesson and maintains their weight.
So comes down to why you want to post: Get advice and moral support or just whine about it.
Seems a Bit Cruel...
You might want to read her note again. Katie said what her motive was for running this, and it wasn't to whine or to get advice:
But this isn't to be a pity party, but a call to arms. I need to be accountable to someone other than myself. I know what to do...
So what is this. If people don't mind, I'm going post my weight every Friday morning and give updates.
Moral support, sure. But it seems awfully early in the game for a "tough love" kind of response or to question her motivation.
Just my take, of course. (And since you posted anonymously, I couldn't say this in a PM.)
Eric