Dysphoria bites

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I find, even when it would be inconvenient, after a couple of years, dysphoria builds up and must be satisfied. Reading, anime / movies, or tv; these can only do so much. Even though it is inconvenient, I find I must satisfy these needs, and dress at least a little.

Comments

Indeed

Patricia Marie Allen's picture

The older you get the more often it raises it's ugly head. By the time I was 45 I had to under dress (panties) 24/7. I still got fully en femme on occasion. For years I thought that would do it, but then I gave up pajamas in favor of a night gown and again I thought that would do. By the time I was sixty, I'd replace about half my outer wear with women's butch equivalent; jeans, dress slacks, loafers, socks and I was wearing an A cup bra as well. Next on the chopping block was shoes. Women's penney loafers and tennis shoes became my regular foot wear. By the time I retired at 72, I only had one shirt and one pair of men's slacks; the slacks didn't fit.

These days, for casual, I wear women's jeans, women's polo shirt, women's tennis shoes and socks. For dress, I wear women's elastic waist slacks (no fly or hip pockets) and women's oxford shirt and my pull on boots. I leave the shirt tail out to cover the fact that the pants have no fly. Under it all, panties, bra with C cup breast forms and a camisole.

I still need at least one day a week when the butch clothes get set aside in favor of a more feminine look and feel. Once a week sometimes twice I go out fully en femme, make-up and the whole nine yards. The photo on my post is my natural hair. Most days I wear it pulled back on the sides and caught at the crown of my head with a nondescript barrette.

Hugs
Patricia

Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt

huggles

I hope you have a place to let your fem side out safely

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Two Spirit

Try not to let our society abuse you. After more than 18 years, I am male or female as the need dictates. It's driven my counseling bills way down.

Why fight it?

If "dressing" (however you define it for yourself) makes you feel better, why not just do it and not worry about it? And if you reach a point where it feels like you've done it more than you feel like, then stop. (Cf. Maeryn's story Through The Fire)

That is an honest question -- I can imagine that there are circumstances where dressing might make life difficult. If your living circumstances are such that it would be dangerous to be seen dressing, then I can understand being cautious. But my own experience (YMMV!!) of doing it anyway, was that it was far less dangerous than I feared.

I admit I have perhaps an advantage over others: for one thing, I'd reached the point where trying to do what I was "supposed" to do had left me without any desire to stay alive, so I kind of said, **** that, I'm going to live the way I want to live, and if they kill me, they kill me. Another advantage is that I'm in a fairly tolerant part of the USA, and the people I hang around with are pretty progressive and tolerant. So an obviously male person in a dress is seen as just another non-conformist, a bit of local color, and not even the most colorful one around.

But I sometimes get the feeling that a fair number of people who need to "dress" feel in their heart of hearts that society is right and they are wrong, and it's as much from themselves they are hiding as from the people around them.