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Someone told me that 80% of us who transition regret it, and many return to their old gender. I think this is a lie and am only asking this because of their professed religiosity. I am actually quite happy living as me, the only issue being that I do not look as much of a babe as I would like. And, of course, as usual, the family are consummate asses, but they can bugger off.
I have never seen or spoken to anyone who has done this, though I have read about a couple and their suicide rate was very high.
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Be yourself.
From what I understand the whole point of transitioning is to be oneself. The trick is figuring who oneself is.
To that end, each person's life experiences are different. None of us, but those involved, know why a person comes back on the course they are taking in their life. It could be a financial issue. A medical issue. Personal issue. It might not be they want to turn back, but they are forced to turn back.
Most people live in their own little world. Their one little bubbles. They do not realize how the world really works. Or, what the real world is really like. And when someone changes, and by doing so, threatens the person's bubble, and view of the world. While that person may not become violent. That person can be come negative towards those individuals that are changing. And these people may try to do everything in their power to force the person that is changing, to return back the way that person was.
It is indeed wrong,
the percentage is 2% last I heard. That is what all the gate keeping is supposed to prevent.
Then there is gender fluid. I know several people like that, not quite comfortable as either gender full time. They flip back and forth.
I get the feeling you regret your transition, I hope this is not the case. For me it was a pure matter of life and death. There are no regrets and no looking back. I waited too long to address it as is, and it damaged me.
Being a volunteer in the community gives me some unique viewpoints that those who decide to go stealth lack. I meet a lot of people in this area, and my name is well known.
Never or not possible
My reply to your question is that I would never go back. Several factors calculate into this statement. First and foremost is that I am mentally stable now. If I reverted back it would only be a matter of time before I suicide attempted again, I have tried 3 times already many years ago. The second reason is that it would mean my family would have more to judge against me, i.e. what a confused freak who can't make up his mind. Also there is that fact that my body has changed so much that it would not be physically possible to hide that fact I am female. I am a 38-40 DD cup, all my own growth. I've had femlar surgery to change my voice, electrolysis and laser for hair removal and my body fat has changed so much that I can't hide my hips in boy pants anymore. There does come a point that makes it unreasonable to revert.
I don't associate or have many friends who are trans but the few I do know of also are very happy in their lives and would never revert back. Sometimes the desire to transition is based on a sexual drive and not a mental need to do so. Well once the hormones and T blockers kick in, there is a massive lessening of sexual desire and drive. This could be a major factor in dissatisfaction which could affect their choice to de-transition.
Mind you this is just my own view point but after all, you did ask!
Dahlia
I went back
Not of my own choosing, mind you. Loss of income led to loss of health insurance led to loss of hormones led to loss of hair and resurgence of hair elsewhere. It was becoming impossible to pass, which is what I needed. But as soon as I was healthy again, had a solid income, and were mentally positioned to re-transition, I did.
This made me think of something I read a long time ago.
It took me some time to find this, but I thought it was appropriate.
https://www.reddit.com/r/confession/comments/v3p42/dont_be_l...
Fear can be a powerful thing.
i think you are right, its BS
yes SOME do "de-transition" over 95% (i have seen varying numbers but never more than 5%) do NOT, but there could be some things that people use in their data that is NOT correct. part of it is the term Transgender vs transsexuals. some transgender are the other gender/sex only part of the time, they never truly transition as we use the term, but the "muggles" to use a term, dont understand us much less the whole group.
so if they use figures of cross dressers, etc in there then they might have a very bad, and still fraudulent, argument for their figures. also some who DO "de-transition" do it for other reasons than regret. they do it in order to get a job, or not being able to afford meds, or even to not hurt their spouse and kids. if there is regret its that others are being hurt for them to be themselves. most of us wont do it for that reason, at least until there is less issue, in our minds at least, in making the change (after kids are out of school, etc), some do it just in pure despair, they feel they can never be the woman they were meant to be, or want to be, which is a very womanly issue, lots of women have body issues, etc
Teresa L
Teresa L.
8 out of 10! Piffle!
I have heard a lot of statistics touted through out my history. The most popular was one of the surgeons who initially championed the Harry Benjamin requirements... He became a nay-sayer for the surgery saying that 1 in 4 (25%) of those who had the surgery were wanting a reversal and that 18% of surgery recipients were actively either attempting [some succeeding] or seeking treatment for suicide. That is the same level of pre-op candidates who were overcome with sadness before the surgery btw.
In a world where hiding being transgender is or was the theme of the day. How can anyone quote statistics about before. These days so many people are being green lighted that the surgeons cannot keep up and many of the reputable ones turn people away due to long waiting lists. I wonder if these statistics don't come from "not so western" south east Asian countries and South American among others where 'shemales' are forced by older brothers and fathers to make money for them. I have seen documentaries about this. I could believe they wouldn't be happy.
I for one have found that people in western societies (mine in particular) put surgery on some exalted pedestal that once they have it they will be cured and will be a 'full woman'. I can see these people deluding themselves and other and being disappointed.
I know for myself. My headshrinkers asked me. Do you still want the surgery. They seemed really pleased when I said "I see the surgery as the end of the first part [the medical part] of the journey. I desire it but if I never had it I could be happy too."
If you think the surgery is some magic wand you are very likely going to be disappointed. You should find in yourself the woman who you are. That's what RLT is all about... not proving your 'full woman' status to someone other than yourself by achieving SRS/GRS/"the surgery".
And finally, you probably know more transgender unhappy people than the shrinks do. We are mostly not very happy people.
Dayna.
ps. I still want the surgery and have taken another step forward by taking an 'til I lose weight' step of scheduling a surgery called "Orchiectomy." I took this step not to rid myself of a hated body part... well maybe a little. I took this step to make my clothes fit better specially while swimming. Something I do regularly without it even in public. :-)
Some question have to asked ....
I doubt anyone of more than 40 years is without regrets. Questioning our past decisions are part of being human. The more traumatic the events the more likely we are to have some regrets. So, I don't doubt 80% have some regrets around and about their transition. People who are secure in their birth gender have regrets about their life decision that are far less traumatic. Have regrets is not the same as deciding to transition back to one's birth gender.
How may transition back? What are you counting? The process to transition is long and often roundabout. The percentage is meaningless without associated information. If someone drops out before, during or after their RLT, are you counting them? How many start or complete the process only to return to some version of their birth gender because of the cost, employment, peer, family or other social pressure? Even if we ignore those issues; all process have a failure rate. The transitioning process is bound to have some percentage that regret completing it. Since the data is not widely and consistently tracked, anyone giving you a percentage is likely using a small sample. So, a group helping those transitioning back will say many. While those help the initial transition would like say few.
Rubbish
The figure is very, very low. As a cross-test, ask your friend how old the planet is, and you will probably get the answer "6,000 years", which is also bollocks, of course. They have decided their position and are attempting to justify it retrospectively.
There will always be people
who change their minds or who make decisions in haste or without due consideration, I suspect as well that many people who are gender troubled have other issues which might influence things over time.
There is also the possibility that we change as we grow through the process of ageing and experience, I'm not the person I was thirty years ago, nor is anyone else.
If I have regrets it's not so much about me but about how others reacted. In particular, I wonder had I not been who I am, would my son be alive today? It's an imponderable but I still ask it as I seek reasons and closure on the void that remains from his death.
Angharad