Unfortunately that seems to be a very common occurrence with adopted children. Especially if there is a relationship break-down between the parents, adopted children more often than not seem to seem to avoid any contact with both parents. I do not know if somebody has ever published a formal study on this aspect of adoptions, but some anecdotal evidence I have seems to bear that out.

After losing our first daughter during the birthing process, due to medical negligence, my ex was desperate for a baby and suggested looking into adoption. We got the offered a 3-year-old girl that was supposed to be adopted to the USA but got stuck in the system due to a ban on international adoptions. (We later learned that she was the product of a baby trafficking mafia.) Due to legal circumstances the courts initially only granted us fostering with the goal of adoption, and it took almost four years until the adoption was finalized. Unfortunately my ex learned she was again pregnant on the day we brought her home, and that was the end of unconditional love.

In my daughter's mid teens my ex started to manipulate her in an effort to sabotage my parenting relationship and hopefully get me thrown in jail. But the day she became a legal adult she broke of all contact with both her mother and myself. And even now, 11 years later, she refuses to process the circumstances surrounding her adoption.

I have accepted the fact that she refuses all direct contact. But there is still a very small spark of hope, and I will be very grateful if and when she decides to contact me.