Melissa1963

Scared

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Just do it my parents said.
I can't I won't.
What if, what about.
My dad my cut my me off.
That's all we hear, what if, what about.
You have nothing to fear.
Your allowed to wear what you want to wear.
Be who you are there is no shame in that.
People will laugh my friends won't like me anymore I told my parents.
The ones that laugh or call you names where never real friends to begin with and that would be a shame.
But the ones who embrace you are angels from heaven.

Jack's life postponed for health reasons

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I am working a new version of Jack’s life but it will be a while before I get it done. I have been seeing several doctors over the last six months as my health has not been so good.

I will continue the story when I get to feeling better.

I have been losing a lot of weight and having severe migraines’ that make me cry.
they last anywhere from 3 to five days at a time.

Will post more info when all the tests are done.

Melissa1963

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Feelings

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A journey that started so many years ago
A journey that I learned from as I grew
I never chose my path in life, my path chose me
As I walked alone looking for happiness
All I could find was a world of hate
Maybe someday things will change
But my destiny will remain the same
To find true friends who really care
In this day and age is really rare
It always gets better, so they say
But first I must know how to make the pain go away
It’s been a long battle
One that many will have to travel
I remember what someone once said to me
Keep your head up, always be proud

A little note.

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Please see notes at end

It’s another sad day for the sky is filled with dark clouds.
It’s been like this for many days, and the rain just never seems to go away.
Oh how I wish I could go out and play, but what fun would it be anyway.
I no longer laugh and I can’t smile, why must I live a life of denial.
Ashamed of what others might think, the pills still in my hand ready to swallow.
Some people told me to pray, but why bother, god hates me anyway.
Some wish I was dead, others want me to move ahead.
As the pain becomes too much to bear, I find there is no end to the fear.

Thoughts

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As I sit in the woods on a cold fall day.
I watch the wind blow as the leaves on the trees fall.
I ask myself, is there a reason I am this way.
Would I be better off dead?
I have tried for way to long.
I have cried and cried and the tears are all gone.
As the sky grows dark and my anger builds.
I find being dead would be a thrill.
Please help me lord, I cried one time.
I head back home no longer afraid for the end was not to be on this day.
I have too many friends that would be sad if I went away.
As I enter my house, there my parents stood ready to give me a hug.

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