The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3401 by Angharad Copyright© 2023 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
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I watched the Women's World Cup Final; I watched as Spain seemed the better side on the day. I saw my daughter come on as a substitute and I watched as time and time again she was flattened by bigger Spanish players as she tried to drive towards their goal. The referee penalised one or two of them but it was clear that she was favouring the Spanish side.

It was incredible that the England goalkeeper saved a penalty to keep them in the hunt, and it was unfortunate that the ball struck the post, out of reach of the Spanish goalkeeper. I was devastated for my daughter, but she had played in a World Cup Final; it doesn't get any bigger and she and most of the women in both teams had behaved with passion and a degree of restraint. Perhaps some of the men should take note, and at least it didn't go to be decided on penalties.

Danni rang me after, she was still overwhelmed by the experience and greatly disappointed. I told her that I was extremely pleased with her; she had done her best and on a different day she might have been on the winning side, but she conducted herself with restraint and a degree of decorum. For that she was my winner and I loved her to bits. I didn't say anything about it just being a game, even if I hadn't changed my mind.

Then we all had the fun of the inappropriate behaviour of a top Spanish football official kissing a player on the lips which shocked her and most of the team and our team too. It was just male arrogance and was wrong. He hasn't apologised and is insistent it was consensual even though the woman he kissed did not agree. Loads of Spanish professional soccer players have said they won't play for their country if he is still in his post. It's quite bizarre that FIFA the world governing body are looking to sack him and the Spanish FA are supporting him and calling the women all sorts of names. The latter are clearly wrong and as the evidence was on television being watched by millions, the Spanish FA will have to climb down.

It's been a funny week, Trump has been charged with another criminal offence, and it looks like Putin has rid himself of the Wagner Group hierarchy in one fell swoop by blowing up the plane they were all on. Hopefully it will cause a few more cracks in the Russian government, which is described as a mafia state. I wonder how much more the ordinary people will take to withdraw their support from a government that is guilty of so many war crimes on their behalf and what that outcome will be? I suspect it may involve Putin's assassination eventually but he is paranoid about his safety, so it won't be easy.

Personally, I won't shed any tears at the murder of the Wagner Groups elite, because they have been responsible for the murder of many innocents, including two British aid workers who were trying to evacuate civilians from a Russian attack. The official story was that they had been killed by shrapnel, it is now emerging that they were taken away and shot - a war crime as they weren't armed. War has lot to answer for.

Putin, like Trump will probably get away with it for while longer; hopefully, as they are both old men, perhaps nature will take its course and the three score and ten will happen - of course, the fact is that only the good seemed to die young, and the Devil looks after his own, so they may well outlive me.

Apparently, Danni will be home on Tuesday or Wednesday. I think she has earned her spurs, or the female equivalent, by going halfway around the world on her own, playing a couple of stressful matches and losing the last one. I admire her almost as much as I love her and I can't wait to give her a hug. The girls have been very supportive so far, even Trish suggested she must be going through hell to have got so far and then been thwarted at the last step. For Trish, that amount of empathy was amazing and maybe it shows that she is growing up at last, I hope so.

The weekend had begun on Friday evening when Simon had come home and was full of passion. He arrived with more flowers, and if the truth be told, I hadn't eaten all the first lot he sent. After dinner, as soon as the little ones were in bed, he rushed me off to ours and wasn't long in showing me how much he loved me, well, that was the theory. Then an hour later he did it again and contradicted his usual adage, 'once a king, always a king but once a knight is enough.' It's a play on ,,, oh never mind, sort it out amongst yourselves.

I had rediscovered a Carly Simon disc and was singing along to The Spy Who Loved Me, when Trish came into my study and asked if I was in pain because I sounded like it. I told her I liked the song which was the James Bond theme tune for one of the films.

"I know, it's all about how good he is in bed, isn't it?" I'd never thought of it quite like that before but when I listened to the words I could see what she was on about and certainly James Bond likes to love 'em and leave 'em. Perhaps, he was that good. Still, I'd only have Simon for comparison and he's good enough for me. But it's only occasionally that I am carnally minded, so it may be not as important to me as to others. We all find our own level and they say that transsexual women are not very interested in sex, possibly even asexual. I don't think I would agree with that, but going a few weeks between sex doesn't worry me, though Simon at times seems to be gnawing on the proverbial bedpost. But then he is a man and they are supposed to be in need of greater supply, for me it's as much about the intimacy of married life as much as anything else. It's nice to be able to say things and do things and he understands. Okay not always, sometimes I think the cat knows more than he does but we do frequently live apart and that has to be a good and bad thing. The smarting between my legs reminded me that he had proved his love for me until I did cry for mercy - I think I had scorch marks and could smell burning, it felt like it. But we had fun and showed devotion to each other.

Naturally, he was upset at the Lionesses coming second in the final, but he was inordinately proud of his girls and that showed after the match when he told me so. I knew it already but it was nice to hear it all the same. He'd made a fuss of all the others and Julie and Phoebe came over for lunch on the Sunday of the match, so he made a real fuss of them as he doesn't always see them when he comes home. Sarah had promised to go for a bike ride with Hannah and Trish and had invited me. I told her I was too busy with work and Trish whispered something in her ear and she just grinned like a Cheshire cat and gave me a knowing look and went off with Trish. it seems like my sex life is a source of amusement for my children.

Any thoughts I'd had off a holiday in Menorca were abandoned when I saw how hot the temperatures were this summer and the stories of the number of fires, many set deliberately, was frightening, except that climate change deniers still don't believe that humans have caused it. It seems that as soon as you produce irrefutable evidence they just go into lock down and refuse to listen; the same is true of religious believers, vaccine deniers and Republican supporters who think Trump had the election stolen and he couldn't possibly be guilty, it was all a pinko Democrat plot, right.

The girls returned from their bike ride and were surprised to see so many people in Southsea. It was heading towards the end of the school holidays so everywhere would be busy and many of them who couldn't afford a flight to Spain could afford a day trip to the south coast. I believe that Brighton, Bournemouth and most of the seaside resorts were the same; plus of course, the floating asylum seaker's cruise ship, the whatever Bibby, was in Portland harbour only hosting Legionella bacteria. What a farce the government have become, we are a laughing stock abroad and they continue making mistakes which are like shooting themselves in the foot. The sooner they are gone the better, but they will hang on until the last possible moment. For what they have done to the environment alone, they should all be hanged drawn and quartered, and the environment secretary would make quite a large quarter, you could feed a hyena for days with her.

I had gathered my pond dipping kit as the waders had arrived and fitted the girls reasonably well. As we were gearing up to load the car, the skies darkened and it absolutely poured down, with the odd flash of lightning and rumble of thunder and occasional hail, accompanying it. In all honesty, the Met office had forecast possible showers which may be thundery at times. It seemed ironic that we were going to play in rivers and ponds but delayed leaving in case we got wet in the rain. Mind you, I have got soaked plenty of times doing field work and it isn't pleasant, in fact, anything but. When your knickers chafe and it runs down under your bra strap it isn't any fun at all, especially if you're stuck in it with a long wait to change or worse a long walk back to a bus or car at the end of it.

Apart from the beginning of this saga, when I got soaked, I also got soaking wet in mid-Wales, bird watching with the RSPB Young Ornithologists. We had gone on a trip to see red kite, pied flycatchers, dippers and a few other things and it peed down as soon as we got there and continued to do so on and off the rest of the day. I had wellies on but they were soon full of water, so walking boots might have been better. The final indignity was coming down a steep hillside hanging onto sheep wire to stay upright when my feet just slid from under me and I landed with a splosh in a puddle in which several bits of sheep excrement were floating. It was funny but nobody wanted to sit next to Charlotte on the ride home, couldn't think why.

Siân thought it was hilarious when I told her about it and I ended up in the bath when i got home for a soak to get the poo off. get rid of the smell and for me to get warm. It was only late September, but I had got quite cold despite having a flask of tea with me. It seemed no one could have fun like me when I was younger and boy, weren't they glad?

I got teased about it because I was bit girly about getting dirty and two or three of the boys were in the same school as me, and they regularly told stories about me as Charlotte, because the organisers thought I was a girl because of my size and long hair, and none of them would put it right, so I was left as Charlotte whenever I went out with them. Something they never mentioned was the fact that I was by far the best birder there and all round best naturalist. as well. It comes to something when you are asked by the leaders what a certain bird is and what insect is that crawling all over Smith minor? I was twelve at the time.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3402 by Angharad Copyright© 2023 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
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I wasn't as good with plants but I seemed to know many of the common ones and some of the less common too. "Charlotte, what's this? " "Hey, Charlotte, what was that lbj that flew past us?" "'lbj' is birder slang for little brown job, basically, it means they didn't get a good look at it, hear its song or have a clue of its species. I'd call out an answer, usually it was warbler or something similar, especially the female birds were more difficult. But in those days I was red hot on identification, of birds, butterflies, some day flying moths and loads of insects. There were more of them in those days, now there seems very few. We have lost 60% of bird species, and 70% or more of insect species, mainly through loss of habitat but also toxic chemicals and pesticides, many of which are unnecessary.

The bumblebees I knew as Charlotte, have a couple of new species, like tree bumble bees, and we have a relatively new solitary bee called the ivy bee. It's been here for about 20 years and as its name suggests, it feeds on ivy flowers, coming out at the end of August when most of the competition is dying off. It is about the size of a hive bee and has quite distinct stripes on its abdomen, plus two small orange-brown tufts of hairs just below the wings at the beginning of its abdomen.

With climate change, some species are going to lose out and some are going to take advantage of it, which is largely how evolution works, the more adaptable will have more offspring and squeeze the less adaptable out. Sometimes it takes millions of years and others it just takes a few years, things can move that quickly.

I was just doing yet another load of washing, it's like a Chinese laundry some days with no Chinamen in sight. I suppose eight or more kids and several adults tend to cause situations like that and I do like clean bedding. The girls usually help and their pocket money is dependent upon it. They get a basic amount which Simon adds extra for how much help they've been. He asks me and I tell him or leave a note if I'm out. He then transfers money into their accounts for the month. I won't say how much because people might say they get too much. As the older girls buy their own clothes, it isn't as much as it sounds. It seems to work though, and they suffer if they make a bad purchase. We still have tantrums when one or other of the adults, usually Simon or me, objects: "You are not going out like that," being the most common phrase that lends itself to tantrums, sulks, pouts and slammed doors.

I wasn't fortunate enough to have that problem very often with my own parents but I did get it from my dad when he thought I looked too feminine for his comfort and of course it happened a couple of times when I was wearing the girl's school uniform during the Lady Macbeth episodes. Usually it was for too much makeup, which Siân and I got round by doing it after I had left home, like shortening our skirts by rolling the top over. We used to walk to school giggling at our subterfuge, but everyone knew what we were doing because they were all doing it themselves, the girls that is. At one point the girl's headmistress rang my mother to say I was giving the wrong impression of the school; acting and dressing like a floozie. Thankfully, my mother dealt with it and had a word with Siân's mum. Because they asked us reasonably, our flooziness declined and we became sedate schoolgirls again.

It sounds as if I was always dressed as a girl; it wasn't like that, for school it was a month or so while I did the play, a few odd occasions besides and a few occasions when Siân and I did it for a laugh, and I changed at her house and we went to a disco one night and another we went shopping. It was always risky but we were young and invincible. Of course there were times when I was mistaken as a girl when in supposed boy mode, the flooding of my friend's house when I went to help but because I had borrowed a pair of wellies from Siân, they thought I was a girl, well Mr and Mrs Absolom did. When I discovered that old man lying in his own front garden. I was wearing those dungarees my father got for me. I don't think he ever knew they were girl's ones.

Oh well, everybody must have tales of embarrassment from their youth. If you can remember the time I worked in the shop, Galbraith thought I was a girl and treated me as such, he was actually alright, I suppose, he offered me work in my holidays from uni, and I did do some for him during my first year but packing quiches for a local factory paid far better without needing to start at four or five in the morning. Mind you after seeing how they were made and packed, I didn't ever eat one again until David made us one. It was totally different and crafted with love.

Later on I made microscope slides for other students and the department, yes, the uni paid me to make them because I was better than the technician at doing so, especially things like rat brains which can be quite difficult and also doing some very specialised work on dissecting out the genitalia of some insects. I didn't realise they were for one of my tutors, who was an entomologist and he didn't realise I did them, he thought the technician did. When he thanked the guy with a bottle of wine, he technician was honest enough to tell him that he didn't do them. When asked who did, he replied, "Charlotte did 'em, she's an absolute whiz with delicate slides because she has thin fingers and can manipulate things better 'an me, I got big 'ands."

"When he spoke to Old Butterworth, the microbiology tutor, he was told that he should know Miss Watts, as she was one of his students.

"Miss Watts, only Watts I can think of is Charlie."

"That's her, Charlotte Watts, brilliant at making slides, I've had her making them for the uni she does them so well."

"Right, well give her this bottle of wine will you?"

When I was in one of his lectures he asked me to stay behind at the end. "Sorry, I was under the impression you were a boy, Charlie, though looking at you know I can see I was mistaken. I hope you got the wine, those slides were great and I was able to photograph them and they should be appearing in the RSE Journal next month the editor was really taken with them. First time one of those has been positively identified in the UK."

"Oh, good, so glad Dr Tyler, sorry, I have to rush for another lecture." We parted and I ran off before he could get a better look at me. Apparently he ever after thought I was female and I did some further slides for him later on.

"What did Old Tyler want?" asked one of the other girls.

"He just wanted to thank me for doing some slides for him."

"Yeah, well watch 'im, he's a bit of a ladies' man, " she cautioned before walking away towards her friends. I mean we were a cohort of over a hundred students, so you can forgive lecturers for not remembering individuals. They tended to if the girl was outstandingly pretty or had big boobs. I was neither, in those days I wasn't even a girl but it seemed many of them thought I was a grungy girl or an effeminate boy. That particular girl thought I was the former. I did eventually stand out because of the quality of the work I produced, I hardly ever went to the student's union, and from my birdwatching escapades. All the knowledge I had acquired as a schoolgirl, I used and expanded while at Sussex. I joined the university birder's club and we went off either and we recorded a bee-eater one year and a hoopoe another, both vagrants from the continent, but it was my record that was used in the annual report.

Uni wasn't all work and no play. I did more work than most because I wanted the best grade of degree I could achieve. I wasn't outstandingly academic, I had to slog for it but I got a first, which when I added some dormouse research I had taken over, gave me a BSc cum laude. It was mainly for my analysis of the data we had collected about dormeese and the conclusions I made, plus the need for further research, which I finally got to do at Portsmouth for my MSc. By then of course I had run into Stella or rather she ran into me, and I was under the supervision of Professor Agnew, the nicest man I ever met, except possibly for Simon, but then I fell in love with him and I'm still in love with him now. Professor Agnew, I call Daddy, because he unofficially adopted me and treated me better than ever my birth father did. We have had our ups and downs and I did threaten to kill him one day over a misunderstanding about our captive dormouse programme, I had him up against a wall I was so angry and I shocked him. We took a little while to get over that one, but I apologised and he did forgive me.

I've met some nice and some less nice people in my time in academia, so I have been very lucky. I've had very little opposition to my gender change, I think Danni had more troubles than I did, but then she is rather a high profile individual, which she should be given the talent and skills she has as a soccer player.

They came home on the Wednesday and she was exhausted but acknowledged she had played in a World Cup Final, an amazing experience. We hugged and hugged and hugged, she was very tearful, apologising for not having scored the goal to win it. She had hit the crossbar so she nearly did. I told her, it obviously wasn't to be and better luck next time. She flopped on the sofa and said, "I'm not sure I could do that all again."

"If you want a World Cup Winner's medal, you will," but she had fallen asleep on the sofa.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3403 by Angharad Copyright© 2023 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
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It was back to everyday life for me and my staff as we got things ready to admit new students and all the work that entailed. September is a very busy month in any university and I was quite pleased that Diane and the others took over most of the immediate work and I was left dealing with the big stuff, like what did I want for lunch?

It was day two of this frenzy, from which I was mainly aloof when Diane put a call through to my phone which I didn't answer because I was stuck on a spreadsheet doing some quite complex sums about departmental finances. Diane knocked and entered, "It's Professor Herbert,".

"What outside?"

"No, on the bloody phone!"

"What does he want?"

"I don't know, but I think he deserves a reply."

"Oh, alright, put him through." I didn't really want to talk and he always wants to go for lunch somewhere. Still, it would save me deciding for myself. I picked up the phone after saving my spreadsheets. "Hello; Professor Watts, how can I help?"

"Ah, dear lady, it is good to hear your voice, your PA didn't know if you were there or not. I need some advice...."

"You , want my advice?" I said with my voice squeaking with surprise, "Isn't that a bit back to front?"

"No, Cathy, I need to speak with you urgently about a very delicate matter."

"What's her name and do I know her?"

"Excuse me," he said abruptly, "It isn't that sort of problem."

"What sort of problem is it then?" I tried to squeeze out of him. "Remember I'm only qualified to counsel dormice about things like bank foreclosures and homelessness."

"You are one crazy aristocrat," he commented as he laughed.

"Is that unusual? I thought they were all barking, least the ones I know are."

"I need to see you today," he sort of demanded and pleaded at the same time.

"I'm awfully busy as I'm sure you are." I tried to pretend I had better things to do than driving to Brighton; I spent three years of my life there. How much more do they want?

"Look, Cathy, how about we meet for lunch at the Yacht Club, my treat?"

"What time?" I asked.

"About two; I've booked the table. Good girl, I'll see you there." He rang off before I could ask him if I needed to bring anything, to which he usually answered, 'an appetite'. Well, if I did and he didn't tell me it would delay things and he said it was urgent. Oh well, I went out to speak to Diane who had lists and piles of paper everywhere, and she had two of the clerical staff helping her, presumably crossing people off lists or adding them.

Before I could say anything, she launched into a tirade, "This is all your fault, you and those bloody dormice; they all think they want to be on television. You and bloody Chris Packham."

"Chris Packham does not do dormice, although he is a zoologist."

"Just as well or you'd be out of a job."

"I beg your pardon, he's doing rather more general stuff these days, especially landscapes and geology."

"Isn't that more your stuff than his? I thought biologists did life wherever it was?"

"Look, I'm quite happy doing small furry things because people can relate to that,"

"The BBC want you to do a programme on hedgehogs, let's see you cuddle one of those. Letter's there," she pointed to a pile of correspondence.

"I'll look at it later; carry on ladies you're doing a great job, I have to go out in an hour and meet with Professor Herbert."

"Don't tell me, the Yacht Club restaurant?"

I blushed, "I forgot where he said, but I've got a note of it somewhere."

"You're a lousy liar, Cathy, anyway I've got loads to do here."

I went back to my office and phoned the refectory and asked them to send up three salad lunches to Diane and her helpers. I settled the bill on my card. I then made myself a cup of tea and got back to my spreadsheets. Diane had to remind me that I had to get to Chichester, I got so engrossed. So I sighed and closed down the programme again. Yesterday, I'd been in tee shirt and jeans, today, I don't know why but I dressed a little tidier in a dress and sandals. It was warmer today and I didn't want to arrive all sweaty. Thankfully, the air con took care of that and within minutes was cooling the cabin of my Jag.

Chichester is one big traffic jam at the best of time; when the sun shines, it's even worse and although only about twenty miles away, it took me an hour to get there. Esmond must have either just missed the traffic, or left just after he phoned because he was sitting at a table with a jug of Pimm's on it. He poured me one as I approached.

As I got to him he stood, hugged me and kissed me on the cheek, "Dear lady, so good of you to come.

I threw back, "This had better be worth it."

"It will, I ordered you fresh grilled tuna steak with a side salad and new potatoes."

I wasn't sure what I fancied so I suppose that would do and instead of wasting my remaining brain cell on menus, we could cut to the chase. "Okay, now what is this all about and seeing as you have infinitely more experience of being a head of department, why do you need my help?"

"Let's wait until they serve our lunch and then I'll tell you."

"I looked around; the table was quite isolated so we wouldn't be overheard, that must mean it was very delicate or embarrassing, 'curiouser and curiouser, said Alice.'

I looked at him and drained my glass, he filled it again as soon as I rested it on the table, I would have to be careful not to over-imbibe as I have a drive back to Portsmouth later and I don't need to be pulled over for driving while under the influence, or in my case, affluence.

Lunch was eventually served and it was delicious but nothing David couldn't improve upon very easily. We take him for granted and we'll have to be careful he doesn't get bored.

"Right, what did you need me to discuss?" I said halfway through my meal.

"Eat up, the dessert trolley looks exquisite."

"Blow the trolley, Why did you need to drag me twenty miles to be a lunch partner?"

"Because you are such excellent company, why else?"

"If I thought that was the case I'd order trifle and pour it over your head."

"Ooh, such violence in one so sweet."

"Don't fuck with me, Esmond, what do you want?"

"Much as I'd love to fuck with you, Cathy, I've seen the size of Simon, so little danger there."

"Look, as soon as I have finished my lunch, I am going to walk back to my car and drive back to Portsmouth and do the work I've put on hold while coming here."

"Okay, finish your lunch. The gender fairy has struck again."

"What do you mean, the gender fairy?"

"I have another trans person in my department."

"So, you have protocols to deliver a fair outcome?"

"I know but said individual has a few complications."

"What sort?" I was part interested and part not wanting to be involved.

"As in serious connections."

"What are they, in the mafia or something?"

"If only; it could be said they are in the original one."

"What the church?"

"No, thankfully, but one uncle is I believe a bishop."

"What is there besides .., oh no, not relations in a large white house in London near Hyde Park?"

"Give the lady a coconut," he said.

"Do I want anything to do with this?"

"Please, Cathy, you must help me. The press are going to be all over us as soon as the story breaks."

"So you have a minor royal who wants to join the distaff side, I presume that is the way they are travelling or contemplating?"

"Yes," he nodded resignedly," that's why I asked you for help.

"I'm not sure I can."

"Why ever not?"

"I'm no expert on transgender issues, I do dormouse and ecology."

"And have half a dozen girls who started off as boys."

I counted them on my fingers.

"It's only five, plus Billie who died."

"Okay, but it wasn't a bad guess. So you must have some experience, plus your own journey, so to speak, and with your footballing superhero, you're used to dealing with publicity as well."

"Yeah, but a trannie royal is going to take the biscuit there, even if Danni had won the World Cup for them. How old is this person?"

"About twenty I think."

"Presentable?"

"Could use your help."

"Oh shit!" I mumbled to myself. "So it's a student."

"Yeah, nearly as gifted as one I had a few years ago but could get a 2:1."

"What are they studying?"

"Biodiversity and ecological systems."

"Why couldn't they just bugger off to Switzerland and do it there where nobody knows them?"

"I did suggest something similar. They know of your existence and wanted me to ask you for help."

"I suppose money is no problem for them?"

"Doesn't appear to be."

"When do I meet her and see if I can dissuade her?"

"That's the Cathy we all know and love." He beamed a smile at me and looked at his watch. "In about twenty minutes, it may be worth looking at the dessert trolley."

"Oh, all right, I'll have some ice cream."

"Good, now I can have my death by chocolate." He ordered the sweets which weren't long coming.

In the distance, I saw an AC Cobra enter the drive to the yacht club as I finished my ice cream and put the spoon down. "Here she comes," he said noticing the sports car arrive. Five minutes later a tall, but not unattractive woman came to us, "Lady Cameron, may I present Laura, Countess of Surrey."

We shook hands, me remaining seated. She drew up a chair and sat down opposite me. "Is that your car?"

"The Cobra, yeah."

"Not exactly, low profile is it."

"But it outruns most other things."

"So does, Simon's F type, but not on British roads, too much traffic."

"What do you drive then?"

"At present a Jaguar XF but I have loads of kids."

"Wasn't one of them reputedly playing for England in the recent World Cup?"

"She was and probably because we didn't win it the Aussie tabloids left her alone, though she hit the post at one point."

"You look too young to have a seventeen-year-old daughter."

"I'm older than I look."

"Your entry in Debrett's mentions you as being born in 1983, that makes you forty this year."

"Thanks for that, I really needed cheering up."

"It also said you are one of the youngest professors of biological sciences in the country."

"Did it give my cup size as well?"

"Now, Cathy, play nicely, she was only being polite."

"It also said through your marriage to Simon, you are Countess of Perth, the Lady Stanebury, Doctor Catherine Watts, Professor of Biological Sciences and Ecology at Portsmouth and one of the most popular courses in the country, you're an award-winning film maker, and mother. Your adopted father is Professor Tom Agnew. By marriage you are actually a relative of mine, Simon is a second cousin to the late Queen Mother and so is my father."

"Is there such a thing as fourth cousins?" I asked interrupting her.

"I presume so, why?"

"Well, if it just keeps on going we must all be related, which we are but only in terms of being the same species. It's like our relationship with chimpanzees, we are related but that relationship is only by having some similar DNA which changed so many million years ago. It's all academic."

"I thought you were an academic, Cathy?"

"Very funny, Ezzie, now what do want from me?"

"How about a place to do a master's like you did for Debbie?"

"Why not stay here and do one? You have more resources and more people to hide among."

"Also more to tell tales as well; the press are threatening something in the next month, so our sources informed us."

"Hence hiding her with you," added Esmond.

"Nowhere is absolutely leakproof."

"Come off it, Cathy, your students would die for you."

"Esmond, generalisations like that are just poor statistical statements."

"When this woman started with Tom Agnew, she was tutoring undergrads. The press came knocking when they saw she was going to marry Simon, and they couldn't get a peep out of any of her students. When she was attacked by that knife-waving lunatic and got stabbed at the top of that hill, they held a vigil for her outside the hospital. They love you because you always walk the extra mile."

I was blushing like an electric fire and there were tears in my eyes, I had forgotten the love my students used to have for me when I was teaching them. "Can you get to Portsmouth tomorrow, say mid-morning?" I address the young woman sitting before me.

"I think so."

"Come to the Biological Sciences department, my PA will find me if I'm not in my office. I am not promising anything but we can talk and if I can't help you I may know where you can try."

"Fair enough, shall I bring my CV?"

"If you like, what degree did you get?"

"A 2:1, You got a first didn't you?"

"Does it matter?" I remarked, standing up to leave.

"Yes, because you are a legend in this place as the best student they ever had. Your exam paper is shown as an example of what to try to emulate."

"I didn't know that," I said looking at Esmond.

He coughed and said, "Nuffin' to do wiv me, guv," at which we all laughed.

"Tomorrow then," I said and left. I would send Esmond a card thanking him for my lunch, tomorrow if I had time. What has he got me involved in now? I started the car, the traffic was even worse now and I had to stay very aware to return home in one piece.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3404 by Angharad Copyright© 2023 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`
The journey back to Portsmouth was horrendous, not helped by the number of grockles clogging up the already bad system which is the Chichester bypass which has more jam than Hartley's, traffic jam that is an exciting new flavour, not. I returned to my office just in time to see the others going home,"oh look," said Diane, "it's the night shift." I just glowered as my answer.

I was going to start my computer to look at the spreadsheets again and instead called up Google and looked up the Duke of Surrey. There was very little about his offspring other than saying there was one. Nigel, born February 2002.Our distant royal was 21. Theoretically, I was old enough to be her mother, I didn't see that as being conducive for a relationship of equals. I sighed, closed down my computer and went home.

I was irritable when I got home and retired to my study with a cup of tea, which usually seemed to make things feel better even if they weren't. I thought about my situation, I had been pulled into someone else's problem. Just because I have survived a similar one doesn't make me an authority on the subject and what worked for me might not work for someone else. Do I have sympathy? Yes, no one should have to deal with feeling uncomfortable in their own skin. When it happens to children, who may not be able to articulate their needs, it is doubly unfortunate and the way the Republicans in America are dealing with it, is despicable, but then the party of Abe Lincoln, seems to have lost its way and it is now the party of Donald Trump, who would be laughable if it were not so dangerous. Apparently, he has promised to give evidence under oath as the truth, when the actual truth is he wouldn't recognise it if it bit him on the nose.

Now, what do I think of Laura de Court? She can't help her physical body but her hands and feet are big for a woman and so is her height. I am about 5'7" and she towers over me so must be nearly six foot tall, her head is also bigger than the usual woman but is in keeping with her body size. She seems to have enormous boobs which have been enhanced in some way, her skirt yesterday was too short, but then she is only twenty-one. Am I becoming an old grump? No, I've got that far without trying.

But I'm not the one under the microscope, been there done that got the teeshirt and the scars on my back. She comes over as a bit arrogant, but then she went to Eton, which can't have been much fun. At least Boris and Cameron had left by then. Perhaps I should suggest she runs for Prime Minister rather than biology, as she has a statistical advantage for that.

So once again up comes the question, 'Should I help her?' and the answer is I don't want to, I am rather tired of the subject. I am a biologist and ecologist not a trained counsellor or psychologist; it isn't my business to run other people's lives for them or find solutions for their problems, I have enough of my own and several children to worry if the Countess of Surrey serves the correct canapés for dinner or whether the Sunday Times does an exposure, it isn't my problem, besides, she seems to be doing alright on her own and I don't think she would take my advice or opinion, anyway.

I could do with one of my kids to give me an independent view, I wonder if Trish could just devise a scheme to help Diane. I know Sammi could, could she advise Trish who could come into the office and see if her analytical mind and her computer skills could sort the dilemma Diane has and why hasn't somebody sorted it before?

I rang Sammi who was in her flat and agreed to talk with Trish, who is always ready to talk to her very clever sister. I got one of the other girls to find her while I told Sammi about the problems we had at the department sorting through so many names and checking grades and offers. We were looking to accept about three hundred for five courses, botany, biology, ecology, environmental science and zoology. I let microbiology sort out itself as they were a much smaller intake. The problem that could arise was that A-level results were said to be lower this year. Covid had made them difficult and teachers were allowed to give their estimates which were abnormally high, so this year felt the crunch and we expected to have some failures or re-sits. It's an awful job but better since I left it to Diane only acting as final arbiter if there were any anomalies or disputes to settle.

Trish came and spoke to her sister and about half an hour later she agreed to come into my office the next morning and try the fix that Sammi had suggested and sent her over the net. She downloaded it on her laptop and was raring to go the next day.

That next day I dressed like I was going to a board meeting, even Daddy noticed it before he left, I told him I had someone special coming today who may want to try for a master's degree and I wanted to show I wasn't the poor relation. He gave me a funny look but left before Trish and I. She looked at me eating my banana on toast and said, "Some student if you're wearing Chanel to influence them." I said nothing.

We got to the office and before Diane went totally apeshit at me bringing in Trish to sort her problem, I made her sit and listen and then told her what Sammi had told me last night, the spreadsheet she had developed would enable prospective results to be entered and also actual; results. They had to input their name and the prospective result, our offer requirements and if they got it. Their actual results were then inputted and the system set to highlight the anomalous results in a matter of seconds. Diane accepted Trish to show them the system which also showed how many we would actually be accepting, a link with UCAS the universities place finding body and who had nearly achieved our offer. In close cases, we tended to accept them.

While playing with my own software on the spreadsheets to see how our funding was progressing Trish disturbed me and said Diane was up and running and she would check them at lunchtime, which I was buying her. She saw my spreadsheet and wanted to play with it and I warned her if she messed it up I would not be buying lunch as dead people don't eat and I'd probably be on remand somewhere. She laughed at that. However, she sat in the corner and played with my laptop. At just after 10.00am Laura arrived, she wore a skirt that practically showed her knickers and a top that demonstrated her enhanced boobs to anyone interested in seeing them - I wasn't.

Trish took my computer, went out to Diane's office and sat in the corner. I settled Laura in my office and went to ask Diane to make us some coffee, Trish heard me and offered to do it. I reluctantly accepted her offer. As I was returning to my office and the unwanted meeting with Laura, Diane told me that Daddy had phoned and that he had invited us both to lunch at his usual haunt, and that Trish had been added to the invite as well. In another week she'd be back on her course.

I went back to my office. The intruder, I explained was my daughter who was trying some software another daughter had devised, she was currently looking at another computer job but had agreed to make us coffee. I took some ground coffee in that David had suggested and a cafetiere in which to make it. I also had a pack of chocolate biscuits that were a cut above Tesco's ordinary.

Trish knocked and entered with our coffee and biccies then having snaffled some for herself and the girls in Diane's office made herself scarce. I told Laura that if we hadn't finished our business by 12.30 pm, the Vice Chancellor would be taking us to lunch. She seemed impressed for a moment: "That's your dad isn't it?" I had to admit that it was.

"That's Prof Herbert's friend?"

"They've been friends for twenty or more years," I confirmed. "Now what help do you need from me?"

She took a biscuit and sipped her coffee, "Nice coffee," she remarked instead of answering my question.

"It should be, my chef gets it especially for me."

That statement took her aback for a moment, "You have a chef?"

"Yes, he's an absolute treasure and my father-in-law has tried to poach him several times, but thankfully he likes it at my place."

"We only have a woman who comes in as necessary a few days a week, especially if Dad is entertaining; usually he finds it easier to meet people in restaurants."

"Yes, Simon does that in London, they have to be special to be invited to our house and deal with half a dozen girls of various ages."

"I believe some of them started off as boys."

I felt myself blush as I answered, "I'm sorry, I don't discuss my children."

Now it was her time to blush and she just nodded.

"You were going to tell me how I could help; I can only give you an opinion as I'm not a mental health professional. I also think that men tend to seek solutions whereas women just listen to the problem." I laid down my ground rules before we got started and I made no pretence to making everything okay, as I wasn't sure I liked her and her father, the duke, or Ezzie Herbert could do it without me. I liked to think I was the icing on the cake.

"You don't like me, do you?" she asked me, talk about directness.

"I don't dislike you, Laura, I hardly know you, but I will say that unless the title has been awarded on merit, academic or otherwise, they don't usually impress me."

"Is that because you weren't born into one?"

"I said openly to Simon and his dad, of whom I'm very fond, that I got mine as part of the compensation package for marrying into a family of interbred loonies."

"Is that how you see me?"

"Like I said, I have made no judgments about you because I don't know you, but I also don't owe Esmond any favours. I already took somebody who was being hassled by the TERF mafia at Sussex."

"So I heard, didn't she face down the press by herself?"

"Her press conference was not what we planned."

She smiled, "But it worked?"

"It seemed to have in her case."

"Is she still with you?"

"I'm sorry, but that's confidential."

She was taken aback by that, "I see, so you're telling me that you wouldn't go out on a limb for me like you did for her or your footballing daughter."

"I would do what was necessary for my daughter, to protect her. I would also do what was necessary to keep my staff and students as safe as I possibly could."

"So that doesn't include me then?"

"You aren't one of my students."

"Even though Herbert asked you to take me on?"

"I can't just take anybody on, they have to apply and fulfill the criteria required."

"Does a 2:1 fulfill your criteria?"

"What, for a master's?"

"Yeah, or a doctorate?"

"A doctorate would be out of the question without a suitable master's."

"Why? It's hardly Oxbridge, is it? It's not even Sussex."

"We may not rival the bigger universities in some ways, but I like to think our degrees are as good as anywhere and better than some. If you don't think so, there wouldn't be much point in you applying just to keep you out of a press storm as you'd be unlikely to finish it."

"I thought Herbert had this sewn up, obviously he hasn't."

"I didn't agree anything with Esmond except to speak to you. I even suggested you went off to Switzerland or somewhere until it all died down."

"My dad has a place in the States, in Florida."

"That would be far enough," I smiled.

"From you, you mean? So I don't contaminate your little university."

"My little university is expanding every year; it has a happier student body and workforce than many of its contemporaries, including Oxford and Sussex. I have several gender dysphoric students here who have or are transitioning and if they came here because of me, it was because they like the courses I offer and perhaps want to work with small mammals."

"On television?"

"Television sources individuals from many places, Attenborough went to Cambridge, Chris Packham went to Southampton, several are graduates of the Open University which has links to the BBC, London, Cardiff, Aberystwyth you name it, people from all over have made documentaries for television. It's as much about their presentation skills as their alma mater."

"So nobody helped you then."

"They did and I was very grateful."

"Let them road test it did you?"

"I beg your pardon?" I think it was at this point she realised she'd overstepped the mark and blushed profusely, even her artificial breasts shared in the experience.

"I'm sorry, that was uncalled for."

"It was." I was still angry with her.

"If you're not going to offer me a course, I might as well be off."

"I didn't say I wouldn't offer you a course and a 2:1 could get you on a master's." I pulled out a list of courses that were possible. "Of course, you'd have to apply and do it quickly as they start in a couple of weeks."

"So you'd offer me one?"

"I might if your application form arrived in time and your references held up."

"I thought you said you wouldn't offer me one?"

"No, I said I wouldn't do anybody any favours and they'd have to apply and meet the criteria we need for accepting said applications."

"So, I could apply?"

"Anybody who has the required academic background can, but I would expect you to finish the course, so if this was just a place to hide while the shit clears, I wouldn't accept you. I only want committed students here doing undergrad or postgrad studies. I happen to believe the reputation of this university is rising and will do nothing to compromise that. Do I make myself clear."

"Very," she replied, "I like you, you don't pull any punches do you?"

"I'm paid not to, and I won't compromise on quality, we have suffered for being small but we're punching above our weight because we are getting respect for the quality of the work we're doing. I'm going to do my damnedest to maintain that."

"I'm going, Professor Watts, I'll leave you to have lunch with your dad and daughter. You've given me something to think about, that if I applied and was accepted it wouldn't be a shoo-in but one on merit. Ever since I was at Eton, I met the required standard but few have challenged me like you have; they're scared that my dad would punish them. You'd stand up to him and Esmond Herbert wouldn't you?"

"In a word, yes. He doesn't scare me as I suspect Simon or Henry would lean on him, so he is probably more scared of what we could do to him. Don't worry, we are reactive not proactive so it probably won't happen. But no one with any sense wants to mix it with one of the five richest and most powerful people in the country and the crown owes us so much money, they wouldn't help you either. But if you apply to us and are accepted we'll help you to finish your transition and to get a good master's degree. It's up to you."

She picked up the course prospectus and an application form. "I like you, Cathy, you're the first person who hasn't been swayed by my family name or tried to toady up to me. I respect that, I probably will apply and thank you for being you."

"Better get that in PDQ if you don't want to be behind at the start." We shook hands and she left.

"Who was that with their tits and arse hanging out?" asked Trish.

"Someone that I think just met their match and it was salutary for them, but It possibly helped them."

"Yeah, my Mum frightens me at times; oh I've sorted your spreadsheet and Diane's program is doing the bizz, can we have lunch with Gramps now?"

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3405 by Angharad Copyright© 2023 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`
You can always rely on your kids to bring you back to real life even if she is hardly a child anymore. We walked over to Daddy's office and then to my car. We always use my car, I don't know why, probably because it means he can have a drink with lunch and have all afternoon to recover, though it's some while since I have seen him the worse for wear. I would fall asleep if I went anywhere near alcohol at lunch time, so I stick to soft drinks or tea.

"How did you get on with your VIP?" he asked.

"That was a VIP?" exclaimed Trish, "Her bloody arse and tits were hanging out."

Daddy looked astonished at this revelation, then gave me a questioning glance. "Were they?" he asked.

"I think she might have been trying to make a statement, but it fell on stony ground."

"Her boobs nearly followed," said Trish full of exaggeration.

"They would not; she was, as I said, trying to assert her femininity, which was wasted on another woman," I offered trying to keep the conversation on higher ground than Trish's innuendos.

"Especially one in a Chanel suit?" mentioned Daddy.

"Okay, I had anticipated it."

"And made a stronger statement," he added.

"I suppose I just made a non-verbal statement that in my kingdom, I am queen."

Daddy laughed and Trish then interjected," Does that make me a princess?"

Daddy and I both laughed, "I don't think the outfit you had when you were five would fit these days, mind you, the tiara may still do so."

"I gave that to Cate ages ago," she replied, "I think as a princess of my age, I'd need something by Mulberry."

"You can use your own cash then, I'm not paying for it, your highness, come on, let's order."

"Who was she?" asked Daddy.

"As this is confidential information I can't share it with you in here."

"Ach, naebody's listening."

"Well, that maybe because no one is breaking confidences."

"Ye scunner," he said smiling.

"Shall we just say that she has a father with a bigger pocket than I do and I doubt he would hesitate to sue; besides, confidential means just that, so no trying to wheedle it out of me."

"Och, yer no fun anymo',"

"Ye big bairn," I said as he drank a big mouthful of Guinness and he promptly sprayed much of it over the table and Trish.

"I'd have thought at your age, Gramps, you'd have learnt to hold your liquor," said Trish pouting beautifully.

That just made him laugh more until he started to choke and then cough.

"I'd be obliged if ye'd warn me next time," he said at me rather than to me and laughed again.

We had lunch and I drove us back to the uni, where Trish checked how Sammi's software had worked while Daddy followed me into my office.

"Noo, who was it?"

"The Countess of Surrey."

"Whit fa' did she want." Some days I think he'd turned into Yoda, but I suspect he was here first.

"She wants to enrol on a master's degree and came to see if she qualified."

"So she jest happened tae come and see thae queen,eh"

"It seems that way."

"Aye. sure it daes, an' I suppose ye think I came doon the Clyde in a banana boat? Noo why was she seein' ye?"

"Because your mate Esmond Herbert asked me to see her."

"Whit did Esmond want?"

"He asked me to offer her a place, she has a 2:1 so I did if she applies for it."

"Aye, but why de he ask ye, he has a muckle size department himsel', so why cudn't she study there."

"He suspected there may be some unhelpful interest by the media in the short term. He knows we're more experienced than he is and may therefore deal better with it."

He sat down at my desk and called up De Brett's and looked up Countess of Surrey. of course it gave the girl's mother who was deceased. He then tried Duke of Surrey and saw it referred to his only offspring as a boy. "There's nae Countess, there's only a boy..." he stopped for a moment and the penny dropped, "She's a he?"

"Not any longer, and with her implants I doubt she could pretend to be one anyway."

"Sae Esmond is sending mair rubbish tae us tae keep his hands clean? He did this with Debbie, didn't he?"

I nodded.

"Have ye taken the girl on yet?"

"I don't know if her application has been accepted yet, but I gave her a verbal acceptance while we were talking."

"Och, ye muppet, we cud hae rung all sorts of concessions frae him."

"That isn't how I operate and you know it."

"I ken and ye'll never get oot o' this place if ye dinna learn tae barter."

"I'm quite content to stay here indefinitely."

"Aye, I can see that."

"So we hae tae deal wi' thae shitstorm an' Esmond carries on tae a gong, wi' his reputation intact?"

"Something like that, but we've done it before and may always need to do it again. If we accept her application, then she's one of my post grad students, and I protect my students as best I can."

"Aye, sae ye dae, weel' ye'd better decide whit ye want me tae dae tae help ye then."

I wrapped him in a big hug, "You are amazing, Daddy, no wonder I love you."

"Aye, we ken that already, I'd better be gang back tae ma office an' check ma ammunition." He pecked me on the cheek and went back to his lair. I meanwhile checked with Diane that Trish wasn't being a nuisance. She told me in glowing terms that Trish had enabled her to practically finish the places we were offering in half the time she usually took.

"I hope she mentioned the fact that her sister wrote the program you used?" I saw Trish going rather red.

"I meant to," she stammered and Diane and I laughed.

The next day, the Countess herself brought in the application and asked if she might speak to me. I was in my office checking the spreadsheet Trish had played with the day before. Annoyingly it seemed to be correct. I was wanting to find fault, knowing I wouldn't, when my phone rang. I didn't want to take a call or see anyone but its insistent ringing caused me to lose my concentration. I threw down my pencil in frustration and picked up the phone. "Yes?" I growled down it.

"Who stole your lollipop?" asked Diane which made me laugh, "I have the Countess of Surrey here to see you if she may."

"Any chance of a coffee?" I asked quietly.

"If you behave yourself," she shot back.

"Yes, Mummy," I said in a little girl voice and she roared with laughter.

"I suppose you want two coffees?"

"Yes, Mummy, proper coffee not that stuff you drink."

"Huh, instant is alright for the plebs, is it?"

"Why ask me, I'm not one. I'm a genuine aristoprat." I said in as posh a voice as I could manage.

"Okay, I'll send her in."

She knocked and entered, "You have a good rapport with you PA."

"Yeah, if I'm naughty she makes me stand in the corner." I said this deadpan and she looked at me for a moment processing what I'd said then laughed.

"I can't see Prof Herbert doing that."

"Ah but he's too busy shagging them, I can't because I'm a woman, so don't have the inclination and I am happily married to a lovely man."

"Glad to hear it," she'd arrived in jeans and a sweatshirt, probably Gucci. "If you're an aristoprat what does that make me?"

"A silver spoon sucker," I suggested and she laughed again.

"'Old Etonian silver spoon sucker,' if you don't mind."

"I didn't think you'd want to publicise a handicap?"

"Touché," she replied.

"Look, if you went into politics, it would almost guarantee you a cabinet post, in biology it may hinder your progress."

"Among the Guardianistas, you mean?"

"I suppose, yes."

"It didn't stop you, did it?" she threw back at me.

"I went to a grammar school, I was an educated pleb."

"Oh, of course, you sold your soul for a title?"

"I'm a scientist so don't believe in souls, besides it was only my body and the title came as part..."

"...Of the compensation package, you told me."

"You're um, gender status doesn't seem to have held you back."

"Not really, some have a problem with it but it's so long ago, most have forgotten."

You really are most convincing, lots of surgery?"

"No, I was AID, never had a hint of a male puberty. This is the last time I want to talk about this. Have you sent in the application?"

"I have it here," she waved an envelope about which she pulled from a voluminous bag.

"Give it to Diane on the way out."

"That's it?"

"Only if you've finished your coffee, but I really have mountains of paperwork to shift. Besides we've had gender dyphoric students before, and a word to the wise, don't make an issue of it, you present as female and tell us as such, we will treat you as such. We have a firm difference and diversity policy. I suspect clothes from the local M&S or local shops would make you stand out less and you need to blend in if you can. Remember, you want the students to believe you are all girl, so copy their gestures and the way they move and speak, lighten your tone or pitch just a little and don't overdo the makeup. Most female students don't wear it to lectures or fieldwork.

"Once you have applied, we'll protect you as best we can unless you are courting trouble and then you are on your own. Tell us at the first sign of a problem and we may be able to head it off. Work hard and be nice to people, don't flaunt your wealth, it's costing most of them a fortune which they have as student loans and don't lord it over them and you'll do alright. Oh, and the same goes for the staff. Most of them are nice people who will help you with your studies and we have student health to help you with personal matters, they have trained counsellors. Welcome to Portsmouth, I hope you'll be happy for the two years of your degree. Give the envelope to Diane and she'll talk it through with you. She's very good and has worked at a few universities, so she's very experienced and she has no problem with different people."

"Okay, I'll leave you to your paperwork."

"Ask Diane to see if any of the post grads are in, they'll possibly show you around the labs etc."

"I will, thank you, Lady Cameron."

"Nah, it's just Cathy Watts here, with professor attached somewhere."

"Thanks anyway whoever you are today," she gave a little bow and let herself out. I sat and wondered how it would all pan out. If she did as I asked she'd have support from other students and staff, so if the brown stuff hit the air conditioning, we'd try to protect her and close ranks. If she didn't, we were all in for a rough ride, her especially, particularly if the lesbian TERFs got wind of it or the God Squad, who can be equally vicious and vacuous and decidedly unChristian in their actions. I suspect Esmond got rid of her to avoid dealing with the TERFs, of which there is an established group at Sussex, hell, they even had a professor, of philosophy, I think, who was an out-and-out TERF, and who resigned after squabbles with trans students. For someone so educated, she was very simplistic in her understanding of trans issues. I'm sure Daddy has spoken to him by now.

Talk of the devil, he phoned to invite me to lunch, probably to pass on the gossip he'd got from Sussex and how Esmond had shat all over us again. I shall never get this bloody spreadsheet checked - I just hoped Trish did it properly.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3406 by Angharad Copyright© 2023 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`

I met with Daddy for lunch and he filled me on the gossip, "Ye ken why Edmond wis so keen to get rid o' her, it's that bloody professor wha resigned, there are an established TERF group at Sussex and there is an established trans group an' if they ken he haed royalty on his course he'd hae haed a load o'bother wit wan or ither o' them."

"So he dumped her on us?" I asked waiting for our meal to arrive.

"Aye, more o' less."

"Okay, as far as I know, there are only one or two trans students plus a handful of TERFS. If only they could see that transwomen are no threat to them and in fact there could be solidarity between them as we are all living as women and suffer at the hand of misogynists or macho men. They are the common enemy but they're all so far up their own arses, they can't see that."

"Aye , that's true but neether group wull listen tae ye."

"I'm not even going to try and speak to them except to warn them we have a policy, anyone who breaks it will face possible suspension or expulsion, which is where you come in, Daddy because you'll give them a fair hearing then expel them."

"That doesnae soond fair tae me."

"It is if we expel either of them if they transgress. We'll warn them first, then out."

"Best read the complaints system, I think it's a verbal then written warning, then oot."

"Ah, but if it's bad enough all three can happen at once. Harassment of someone because of gender identity or orientation, if bad enough can result in all three at once."

"Och, I think I'll gang an' check, don't want tae expel onyone wha disnae deserve it."

"I'm not asking you to but they also need to know we aren't taking any abuses of our policies as well."

"Aye, I'll send oot a reminder o' whit thae policies are."

"Good thinking, Daddy, why aren't all old people like you?"

"Whit, a' crabby auld gits?"

"Aye," I replied and he gave me dirty look and went back to his lair. He was a magical old man who really did look after his loved ones.

I settled back to my spreadsheet and did finish it this time and saw that Trish had made one very small error which was about a tiny amount of money that had appeared from nowhere. I removed it as petty cash and it all balanced. I felt elated then considered what could hit us in a few weeks. Our student wasn't really royalty, she just had a dad who was cousin of the old Queen Mother, but not in line to the throne any more than Simon was, thank goodness. He was second or third cousin of the Queen Mum too, but knew he was far away not to be caught in their fantasy world. My own feelings were that they had outlived their usefulness but we had no better system as an alternative, certainly, the mess in the Lords and amongst the government was probably a very good reason for staying with a monarchy and we were seen as the leading monarchy in the world - not that it's any recommendation as the whole thing is corrupt but not as much as politicians and lobbyists and the other real shapers and movers, who make things happen, profit hugely from it but are never implicated in the ensuing disaster. George Monbiot wrote an article about it in the Guardian this week, calling it 'Clientelism' or something like that as a form of corruption that pervades democracy and is perpetuated by all shades of government. We are all corrupt at a government level but at times I wonder if democracy is going to disappear in the States before much longer, especially if Trump gets in again.

I enquired of Diane if Laura had applied and was told and she had been accepted; another day later and she may not have been. Esmond knew his stuff and got her in just in time. I hoped she wasn't going to become a problem but only time would show that. It was mid-afternoon when Debbie came to my office and showed me the text of an email.

"You've taken on another Sussex reject I hear."

"That's confidential."

"Yeah, well, this was sent to our TERF group," she threw me the email and I saw that it revealed that Sussex had exported a master's level trans student to us because the TERFs in Sussex had driven him out.

"Shouldn't that be her, not him?" I asked.

"So it's true then?"

"I haven't denied it."

"So we could be in for a torrid time, then?"

"We could, but you shouldn't be involved you have female legal status don't you?"

"Yes, but I have an interest in the matter."

"So, we all have in protecting our students and complying with our policies including the one on difference and diversity. Everyone who is enrolled signs up for it amongst several other policies, staff or students. We are required by law to uphold it."

"So what's the new trannie like?" she asked.

"The new transwoman is attractive and passable, so as long as no one points her out, I'm not expecting any particular trouble."

"I was told she was titled."

"Yes, currently as Ms."

"Aw, come on, you know you can trust me."

"The only titles we use here are doctor or professor or academic variants on them, we also permit reverend but only for those who believe in fairies," as I said this she sniggered.

"Oh well, I'll spot her sooner or later, like you did me when I first came here, but you are pretty perceptive."

"Remember that I have been doing it longer than you and have a few at home to remind me, though most of those are imperceptible. Our trans student met Trish but didn't have a clue."

"Not surprising, Trish didn't have the problem with testosterone most of us do."

"Neither did I, but Trish will likely need further surgery one day." She nodded as if to acknowledge what I said. Once Trish stops growing, it's likely she will need to have a new vaginal opening created as scar tissue doesn't stretch. I suppose I ought to speak to Stella about it and if necessary get her into see Michael O'Rourke.

"Right, I'd better go. Let me know if I can help with the new student."

"I think that was a given; if we have any problems you are nearer her age than mine but I don't foresee any unless she comes in dressed in an evening gown and tiara, which I think is unlikely."

"Oh yes, ha ha, you've already told her about that haven't you?"

"Only because our insurance doesn't cover it, should it get lost or stolen."

"I thought it would."

"Not above a few thousand for individual possessions and hers is probably Victorian or something, so probably far more valuable, you'll have to ask her if she does wear it."

"She's doing a master's, right?"

"As that could be used to identify her, I'm not at liberty to say."

"And I'm due to teach some master's students?"

"I think you know that, ever since you got your doctorate."

"You made me sweat on that."

"I only wanted you to show what I knew you were capable of doing and you did it."

"So now I'm an expert on field voles, how come they aren't as cuddly as dormice?"

"You chose them."

"Only because they are relatively easy to find and barn owls love 'em."

"Look, you did a good paper, I second-marked it and it was good. We now know lots more about them and we have an expert on campus."

"I'd have thought you were the resident expert on rodents?"

"Depends who's asking."

"Like the BBC you mean." She looked questioningly at me.

"You never know, 'Springwatch.' may do a feature on them and invite you along to comment. Better get your PhD dissertation out as a book, then all sorts may ask you."

"You know how long that takes?"

"Yes. I've done two," I said and she shut up and bad her farewell. I'll need her as an ally if the brown stuff hits the rotating wotsit, but I'm not ready to tell her just yet, the poor girl only enrolled yesterday and we have to give her a chance. Besides I've decided I don't need to rescue everybody and realise that could seen as a boy trait, that and solving problems. Better to let people solve them themselves and student counselling have better qualified people than me to help.

At home, Livvie and Hannah were squabbling about something, I know I should be interested but wasn't and besides Sarah was supposed to be dealing with them. Danni and Trish were home and not getting involved. I made myself a cup of tea and went to my study, trying to hide myself away from the others. It didn't work, it never does and Danni came marching in and demanded I stop the squabbles as the noise was doing her head in.

I emerged from my study, at least I had drunk my tea while it was hot. I could have been like a bear with a sore wotsit but I wasn't. If the truth be known I was too tired to be grumpy. I usually leave that to the men or in this case, Danni. "Okay, what's disturbing you two?" I asked in a languid voice.

"It's all her fault..." started Livvie.

"No it's not I have to do an essay on David Copperfield and she won't lend me the book."

"I thought there was a copy in the library," I said to our warring sisters.

"There is, this it and it's mine," Livvie almost sneered at Hannah.

"It's not fair, I need it for my essay."

"I've seen how you treat books."

"It's not me, sometimes Lizzie gets them," Hannah answered.

"So if it's your book it should have your name inside the cover?" I asked Livvie.

"Yes, right there." She pointed her finger at her name in the book.

"Who's Charlie Watts?" asked Hannah who should have heard my old name by now. "It's crossed out, look."

I looked at the book, it's so many years since I read it, in middle school, I think. I didn't remember giving it to Livvie and the point of the library is so everyone can find if we have a certain book and borrow it to read or answer essays.

"Isn't that my old book?" I asked and Livvie blushed a good tomato colour.

"You gave it to me Mummy, don't you remember?"

I still didn't, "I think I may have told you that you could borrow it, why do you need it?"

"I'm doing a project on Dickens as he was born in Portsmouth." John Wesley was born in Bristol but I didn't want anything to do with any sort of preacher. "I need it."

"Show me your research and why you need it now."

"Um, I've left it in school."

"So you don't know if you need it or not?"

"I do, I'm making notes and it is a biographical novel."

"I'm well aware of that Liv, I read it before you were born which is why it has my old name on it." It was a practice we used to do to stop someone else trying to take it. Doesn't seem to work after all.

"Right, lend it to Hannah for tonight and tomorrow night and she must undertake to give it back to you, in good condition, at that point."

Livvie made sour-looking faces but handed the book to Hannah who jumped triumphantly and ran off to her bedroom. No one said thanks, one party was ecstatic the other morose and it was all over my book, not that I was going to make an issue of it because I don't like Dickens or Thomas Hardy for that matter. I can still remember having to read Tess of the D'Urbervilles in my 'O' level year. God, it was awful.

"She'd better give it back," said Livvie storming away and I suspect I was left standing there feeling like a UN peacekeeper, an exhausted one.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3407 by Angharad Copyright© 2023 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`

The weekend wasn't all UN Peacekeeping duties, we actually had some fun as well as a spot of rain and thunder and lightning. David produced a wonderful meal on Saturday - a paella and Sunday - a wonderful roast lamb with mint sauce and the rest of the trimmings, he also does Yorkshire pud, which is supposed to go with roast beef, because Simon likes it and he pays the house overheads. Simon also got his wicked way with his wife, viz. moi. So what walking funny doesn't mean I can't eat my share of roast lamb. As a vegetarian I'm a total failure, I could be one if I didn't have to give up meat and fish but I don't think there's much call for carnivorous vegetarians. However, if they read their biology more closely they'd realise that many so-called herbivores ate animal protein whenever they got the chance. I keep telling people that even cuddly things like dormeece will eat small animals and eggs if the opportunity arises and wood mice will attack and kill dormant dormice and eat them if the chance arises.

We tend to over-categorise at times putting things in pigeon holes that aren't exactly correct. Politicians are doing so now on both sides of the Atlantic seeming to think there are only two forms of sex and gender when there are umpteen, even chromosomal sex isn't as simplistic as they try to suggest as a significant number of people don't fit into the binary model, but then since when did politicians tell the truth, they're all liars and if they are on the right, they tend to ignore the truth and promulgate only lies. The Orange Thing, currently being sued is probably the worst offender and he of all people accuses others of lying - the irony is breathtaking, but most Americans don't do it; they also collectively seem more stupid than Britons, something I nearly didn't believe after they voted in Boris, Truss and Sunak, but in all fairness, only a few thousand in the Tory party voted them in, the rest of us didn't get a say in things. In some respects, I suspect anyone who votes Tory is either deluded or dishonest, if they are politicians perhaps both.

So in a week that has seen both Republicans and Tories declare trans people as public enemy number one because we are easy to hate. Why they never tell us, but I suppose except those who transition very young, we do tend to stand out somewhat, although surgeons can do amazing things these days, except put brains in Tories or Republicans.

So I went back to work on Monday having had not too bad a weekend, once I'd locked all the kids in the cellar with bread and water. I was in my office before Diane seemed present and actually had to make my own first cuppa - honestly, what's the world coming to? I made her one as well then had to revive her from the shock.

A wee while later, I was knee-deep in spreadsheets again when she came to tell me that my ten o'clock was here. I had no knowledge of an appointment and was annoyed at being disturbed, spreadsheets are easy for some people but I'm not one of them.

"Who is it?" I asked her.

"Um, Tanya Hardiman."

"Who is she when she's at home?"

"I'll send her in, she can tell you herself. I'll make some more tea." That sounded like a cop-out to me and she disappeared very quickly, I grew more suspicious.

I switched off my computer saving any changes I had made and the door opened and in walked a rather short-haired dark woman wearing jeans and a jacket, it looked as though she could use one of those waxing strips designed for top lips, or was she cultivating a moustache? Whatever, it transfixed my attention and I spent most of our meeting fixated on her 'tash.

"We have been informed by colleagues in Sussex that they have exported one of their weirdos here."

"What do you mean exactly by weirdo?" I asked, it suddenly seemed it could be a long morning, but I was determined that I wasn't going to lose my temper, whatever she said. No, I should be able to use my scintillating wit and superior debating skills, except that people like her don't listen, just spout.

"One of those he/she things."

"Since sex isn't exactly black and white, that could apply to most of us."

"Speak for yourself, I know I'm 100% female."

"As a biologist, I think I'd have to challenge that as no one is 100% anything and nature does like to experiment."

"Alright, 99% then. I know I am biologically female and the thing Sussex sent here is pretending to be one but is male."

"I can't comment as students' records are confidential but we have a policy that allows difference and diversity, so even if such a person exists, we allow them to express themselves in whichever gender they feel is appropriate."

"No wonder the country's in such a mess," she said vehemently.

"That's rather a simplistic statement as the cause of our problems is multifactorial," I threw back not even using the Tories are twats one.

"Men are men and women are women, they can't change over just like that."

"I don't think I've ever met a transgender person who did it without enormous thought and possibly even a sense of desperation, no one would contemplate such change lightly."

"Yet they do, I'm sure I could tell one at a glance. I mean women like us are just different to men who pretend to be us so they can spy on us in toilets or pretend to be women to attract lesbians."

"I think most people use toilets because they need to micturate or defecate, occasionally to sort out hair or makeup don't think I have ever seen anyone hanging around to spy on me or other users of the loo."

"You've been lucky then."

"Seems like I have, have you caught anyone trying to spy on you when you go for a pee?" She looked a little bit surprised by my question.

"Not yet," she began to go pink and just then Diane came in with some coffee. She placed one down for each of us.

"Have you noticed men disguised as women hiding in the ladies trying to get a view of us in a state of undress?" I asked Diane who laughed.

"If they did I think I'd spot it and they'd be out a moment later, why is this lady accusing someone of doing so in the university?"

Tanya blushed some more as her threat was being ridiculed by another woman.

"Um, no, it's more she's worried about a hypothetical case," I offered Diane who roared with laughter.

"That's like my Gran who used to cover all the mirrors and hide all the cutlery in a thunderstorm. It bore no scientific logic and my mother used to try and reason with her to no avail."

"I'm afraid fear is an emotional thing which is rarely based on fact hence the fact that millions of Millennials are terrified they'll miss something if they aren't plugged into their phones. If they check them after a lecture, I think they are usually fine and haven't missed out."
"I fail to see why you older ladies are making fun of me."

Diane blushed and beat a retreat. "We're weren't ridiculing you just simply the notion that men become women to spy in the loos. I'm not aware that anyone has ever been charged with that as an offence."

"What about that case in Scotland where a rapist was sent to women's prison even though they still had their genitals and could do the same again."

"That is the only case of its sort and shows how unlikely it is to happen again."

"Ha, the bloody Scots are going to allow anyone to change sex overnight just by saying so." She was becoming slightly hot under the collar of her jacket.

"I suspect there's more to it than that and I think they have to wait so long anyway, probably the process will take longer than that but if that becomes the law then we have to abide by it."

"Shows the law is made by woke legislators."

"Is that any worse than in the States where you can't have an abortion if you need one, women having to carry full term even if they know the foetus is dead?"

"They don't do they?"

"I'm afraid they do, that is men trying to legislate control over women's bodies, I wouldn't worry about problems with the toilets because any transgender person is going to be more scared than you and is likely to be in and out, just doing whatever business they need to."

"That isn't what women are saying in America."

"America is a different place, to start with it is a relatively religious place, which is being manipulated by very cynical individuals, often with lies. As far as I am aware there is no record of a transgender person causing trouble in a ladies loo, there is however one of two women beating up a trans woman who went to have a pee. Which just shows bigotry, don't you agree?"

"I don't know, that's America and I'm trying to represent other women to stop it happening here."

"Just which women are you representing because I'm not aware of other women's groups having any problems with toilet use?"

"Portsmouth University Sapphic Society, PUSS for short."

"So you're gay?"

"Out and proud."

"Well, that's your business, how many members do you represent?"

"We have eight members but expect to grow, I'm trying to get Professor Stock to come and address us."

"Why?"

"Well, us radical lesbians don't want to let men undermine us by pretending to change gender."

"Wasn't that idea shown to be false in the 1970s in America."

"As far as I know it's still in force."

"My daughter did some gender studies and she found that it was a load of cobblers then as it still would be now. It's based on poor thinking and no evidence.

"You're just saying that." She was becoming red again.

"I'm not I watched what she was reading and the essays she wrote, they were quite good. The book is still in the library but it is very poorly written and arguments don't hold air let alone any water. It's just a rant.

"So you're anti-lesbian."

"I'm not but I am anti bigotry."

"So I'm a bigot now am I?"

"I haven't called you anything. I want us all to get on in this university and that includes your single-sex group as well as any transgender students we may have. We have a policy which has been adopted by the university council to which we all have to adhere."

"So you're supporting that pervert?"

"I am supporting an individual against what seems like an unnecessary prejudice, yes. Have you ever thought about what it must be like for someone to change their gender, how frightening that is, how men or women may beat them up for no reason, may shun them for just expressing how they see themselves? I've never had a problem with trans women but I have with radical bigots."

"Ah, now we're coming to it, we can see that you're a traitor to your sex, supporting this pervert."

"I am supporting the policy that we have in the university and you are in danger of breaking it, which may have consequences."

"Blow your consequences, we women will prevail." She stood up and threw the mug she had been using on the floor breaking it before storming out of my office.

"Oh dear," said Diane, "have we got a problem with a TERF?"

"Looks like it, Why can't they just go and play with their dildoes and leave the rest of us in peace?"

"Oh that'd be no fun now, would it?" she waltzed out of my office laughing and I thought I had a bit of a headache developing. I thought I'd better tell Daddy we may have some trouble and before I could say much at all he invited me to lunch. Why can't everyone just leave me alone to do these spreadsheets? It's going to be one of those days, I can see it now. Oh, bugger!.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3408 by Angharad Copyright© 2023 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`

Or 284 dozen for dodecaphiles - frightening isn't it, some of us could have had a life instead of reading this.

"Sae Ms Hardiman, thinks we're a bunch o' perverts because we allow transgender students to take degrees?"

"Yes," I nearly said 'Aye' I was so enraptured with his burring his Rs. No that doesn't sound like I meant it, he was rolling his Rs, no that's even worse, I'm the one who rolls her arse, he rolls the letter R because he's Scots and they do things like that, oh, forget it.

"Well, probably she thinks we're a patriarchal controlled conspiracy to undermine the womens' movement."

"Canna she no see that these people enhance thae womens' movement? People like yersel' hae done wonders fa' the women at this university."

"Yes, but my efforts don't count because I'm siding with the male conspirators. If ever she finds out I was once transgendered, my life could get very difficult."

"But why?"

"Because she thought I was a biological woman end I didn't correct her."

"Och, that wis years ago, ye dinna hae tae justify wha' ye are, ye'r jest Professor Cathy an' my dochter.

"Thanks Daddy, your support is always there, I don't know what I'd do without it."

"Och, ye'r a muckle lassie thae noo, ye'd wirk oot saemthi'." He smiled at me and I loved him, he was such a precious resource for me and the family; even Simon thought the world of him and the girls would kill for him.

I just have to keep Laura and the TERFs from meeting or them recognising her. If she sees them she can make herself scarce, if they recognise her, we'll have a problem. I have pointed out the University's policy on difference and diversity and and also informed them that by enrolling here they signed to uphold it and that any action against it was a disciplinary offence."

"That disna seem tae stop them."

"No, all fanatics break the law and try to suggest it's the other party who are at fault. It's a common fogging tactic, Johnson and Trump use it all the time."

The meal arrived and we turned our attention to food, except my appetite was what it usually was, nothing had changed, it was as tasty and well produced as ever, just my head space was different. Part of me wanted to fight and part of me wondered about doing something different like growing organic vegetables.

"Sae that's yer strategy then, tae keep them apert."

"Can you think of a better one, I'm all ears."

"Ach yer lugs 're lovely."

I rolled my eyes in response and he just laughed. If he tells me I'm lovely when I'm riled, I think I shall smash him over the head with my lunch.

I ate a bit more of my lunch and him laughing had made me laugh too and I felt a little better. We ended up just chatting but I had put him in the picture. Tom was greatly respected by both staff and students with the exception of the malevolent Ms Hardiman and her ilk, so when we went back to college he would send out his spies to feedback to him on any rumours that they heard. Frequently, they misreported things but on the whole, we learned of new plots before they could do any damage to the university. I told him they were like the STASI in East Germany, he just smiled and replied, 'Ja.'

When I got back, I asked Diane to send for Laura as I needed to speak to her. "Won't she be in lectures now?" was the reply I got.

"I don't care if she's on the bloody bog, tell her I want to see her PDQ,"

"Okay, keep yer 'air on missus, Oh, an' I'll tell her to have made sure she wipes her bum afterwards."

"What are you on about?" I asked as I retreated toward my office.

"Just in case she was on the toilet."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, you told me to get her if she was on the loo."

Some days I felt like I was losing it, but I hadn't said that surely? Perhaps I had, today might be one of those days. I retreated to my office pretending that all this was a dream, no nightmare. Some days I felt like smashing such evil organisations as TERFs but then it would take effort and I was fresh out of that. Diane had brought me a cuppa and said she had texted Laura but didn't know if she had got it. I simply shrugged, I would be here until five or later. I assumed when she got the message she would come and if she didn't by six, I would expect her sometime tomorrow.

I had dealt with that, drunk my tea and gone back to my spreadsheets. If it was going to be a horrible day, this was the cathartic equivalent of scrubbing floors or tidying cupboards. I no longer did that, the last time I did, no one could find anything for weeks. Well, it made sense at the time but I couldn't remember just what had made sense. I wondered if other women had this problem.

I had finished one spreadsheet and felt good about myself, that was until I started the second and after an hour it seemed that I was mistaken and that I was delusional and a total moron. How could Simon deal with these everyday and understand them. It was bad enough when it related to experimental data. I knew enough about stats to get by but when it related to financial data and hiring and firing, it seemed to operate on its own logic, which wasn't the same as mine. Simon would argue it was all the same and shoot through them like a human computer. I couldn't and it depressed me.

About four o'clock Laura arrived and as Diane showed her in, she offered to make us some tea. I had to remember to bring another mug from home as that wretched woman yesterday had broken one of my Society of Biology mugs with her temper.

"You sent for me, Professor?"

I nearly answered 'No, Diane did, I just ordered it done,' which I suppose meant I had sort of sent for her, well, in a way. "Yes, Laura our very own TERFs seem to know you are here and in one of my departments. They seem stuck in the last century and want to cause trouble. I told them they had all agreed to the university's policies and by doing so, anything which endangered you or your studies and your right to express what you believe to be your real gender by dressing as female."

"But how?"

"We had this once before created by the witches of Sussex."

"How did they know?" she looked quite alarmed, "And I was just chatting to a nice boy too."

"I think you may be well advised to forget your libido for the moment, these women are not taking prisoners unless they menstruate."

"What about people like yourself and loads of older women or those who have had to have hysterectomies?"

"I was talking metaphorically."

"Oh, sorry."

"You are going to have to hide in plain sight."

"I don't follow you, we of the ruling class don't run away from a fight, don't you know?"

I cringed, God preserve us from more deluded aristocrats, the ones I married into were bad enough, I didn't need any more. "Look, the only reason you are an aristocrat is because your ancestors were bigger bastards and crawlers than the common people. Hence whichever bandit was on the throne, if he liked your obsequiousness enough, gave you the odd castle or estate that he took from last week's flavour of the month. The reason why Simon's ancestors were able to do so well, was being better at cattle rustling than most and by changing sides quite regularly and loaning the crown some dosh."

"Hang on, Professor, just because the Camerons were like that doesn't mean we all were."

"They were or they ended up in the Tower with their lands forfeit. It takes a certain type of skill set to run with the hare and the hounds."

"Don't you mean fox not hare?"

"Hares are Britain's fastest land mammal and can reach speeds of forty or so miles an hour."

"I know, I've hunted them."

"Tosser." I said without thinking about it.

"I take it that you disapprove?"

"Shall I say that I have a higher opinion of hares than hunters."

"I expect you were one of those who caused that Blair chap to ban hunting with dogs?"

"It seems there were just two sides, compassionate, thinking humans and idiots who cared nothing for anyone but themselves."

"Hey, that's a bit rich coming from a family of champagne socialists."

"Rich yes, but with a set of ethical values."

"I'm going to have to fight this on my own, aren't I because of your politics."

"So that's why I spent all of my lunch hour discussing your case and the TERFs with the Vice Chancellor."

"Why, if you hate my class so much?"

"I don't hate your class, remember I am one of them these days."

"So why did you bother meeting the VC, he's your dad isn't he, so it may have been just a cosy chat over a glass of Chardonnay?"

"I prefer Chablis, myself or better still a nice Burgundy, but that doesn't solve anything. Now I may despise you for having a status based on pure accident of birth, which I don't by the way, I just think you are a bit of a tit and you can fight this on your own or listen to what I am saying and do it."

"What if I don't?"

"I won't be able to save your worthless hide, because they will have you. Just because we are the good guys in all of this doesn't mean we'll win unless we outthink their selfish hysteria."

"Alright, suppose I go for your strategy?"

"You may survive, at the moment you look like a single MacDonald shouting 'yah boo sucks' at a whole bunch of Campbells while at Glencoe."

"Do I seem that näive?"

"Frankly, yes."

"Okay, what do I have to do?"

"One: lose the tidy clothes. jeans and tops from now on and look more M&S than Harvey Nicks, second: I want you to act like one of the technicians, just get one to loan you a grey overall for a few weeks. I'll have a word with the course tutors you have, no one likes these rancid females who just put others' backs up. Oh, and can you do something about the car, just until this blows over?"

"Can I think about it, I really love my car?"

"In which case jump in it and don't stop until you get to where it says 'There be Dragons'.

"It's like that is it?"

"I need you to help me help you."

"Okay, I'll do what you want me to."

Just then my door was rapped and flung open, "Professor, what are you going to do about this fake female?"

"Do you mind I was just instructing one of my technicians what equipment I need next week."

"Sorry but my members are asking me questions."

"Well, if they are as rude as you, I'd be inclined to ignore them. Thank you, Laura, if you can get John to help you with that."

She looked at me with her eyes out on stalks. "Very good Professor, I'll do as you ask."

"Good, first thing Monday then?" I replied and she left as unobtrusively as she could, trying to hide her expensive top. Fortunately, Ms Hardiman was facing my wrath for disturbing me with no notice and she left with her tail between her legs, but she'd be back. If I could avoid her meeting Laura for a couple of weeks it would probably blow over by then, but today frightened Laura and that might not be a bad thing.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3409 by Angharad Copyright© 2023 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`

I'm sure that some TERFs could be nice to other TERFs but the ones I'd encountered were anything but. Why did Sussex TERFs have such influence with the ones here? I rang Esmond but he wasn't there, no doubt getting his leg over somewhere, I glanced at the time on my computer and realised at six o'clock he wouldn't be there anyway. I would try and call him the next day if I remembered. Diane had finished for the day and her office was all locked up. I grabbed my laptop, shoved it in the bag, and pulling on my jacket picked up my handbag switched off the light, locked the door and did the same with Diane's office.

My transition had happened years ago, so none of the students would remember it unless they looked me up on the web, and go beyond the university website and the usual stuff, including my own website which Sammi set up and checked over now and again. That girl was so clever it took my breath away, but then I also knew Trish and Daddy, both of them were pretty damned clever too. Simon was no dunce in specific areas and I suppose I haven't done too badly for a quantity surveyor's son, have I?

I reached home before Daddy, but he is such a workaholic, that he makes me look like a dilettante. I spoke to David and asked him to keep a portion of whatever delicacy he had created. It was cottage pie, seems Danni and Trish had got to him first; I didn't mind as I hadn't had any for some time, cottage pie I mean, the other, the last time Simon was home, still you don't need to know that. Daddy arrived as we were still eating and he quickly washed and pulled up a chair telling me he needed a word with me after. It didn't alarm me too much as we do communicate quite regularly. like every day, but his tone was serious. I helped to clear the table by which time the kettle was boiling so I made a pot of tea. The older girls had one but Daddy declined saying he wanted something stronger than pat's kiss.

I gave him a few minutes to settle with his Laphroaig and topping up my tea I knocked on his study door. I still felt a bit like a naughty schoolgirl outside the headmistress' door, which hadn't happened since primary school and never in a negative way; that had waited until I got to grammar school and boy did it make up for itself. I had a flashback of standing outside Murray's door, which was quite a regular occasion after year nine when my hair was becoming more noticeable and annoying him. We had a battle of wills and I was not going to give way, if I could defy my father, then Murray was a much easier force to deal with, though he could be most unpleasant, not so the person who was the on the other side of this door and for whom I had nothing but deep respect and love.

"I spoke tae Esmond earlier."

"I tried but just missed him, I wanted to know how there were so many links between the two universities when it came to obnoxious female groups."

"They hae regular meetin's, did ye no ken that?"

"No I didn't," I pondered for a moment then asked, "Does he have chapter and verse?"

"Na, but I'm sure he cud get it for ye. They meet as a women's group, but a' thae locals ken wha it is."

"Don't tell me the hemlock appreciation society."

He laughed at my improvisation and went on to tell me that the women met every couple of weeks and kept in touch in between by email, social media and text. I suggested as they were a student organisation he have a look at any minutes they keep and if it didn't contain lots of hate matters, there was obviously a second book of minutes.

Their information was so good I wondered if we were being bugged, but then they have heard me speaking with Laura and they clearly didn't. This was obviously much more organised than I had expected. It seems these days that terrorists are becoming smarter and more sophisticated. If only we knew what they were planning; we almost needed a mole in their camp, but it would be quite a dangerous position as they could get quite violent.

I decided I couldn't ask any of my kids, remember I had three at the university, two doing biology and one physicist. They had all survived their first year and were now starting their second. Trish of course had caused problems with sloppy teaching in the Physics and Maths dept. She called the tutor out on it and proved he was wrong, her professor thanked her quietly but asked that she make less fuss as they were short of staff and she got asked to do some tutoring or mentoring with new students. That was good for her ego and she actually enjoyed helping others or found she did.

The two biologists were a different kettle of fish. Sarah put in the hours and her grades were good. Danni always seemed to have a distraction, be that England or boys, and she had to cram at the last minute. She passed but only with Sarah's help, plus a bit of logic help from Trish. We like to check that our students are awake as well as just sitting exams. Some appear to sleepwalk their way through the course, others are very involved, problem is we never know which are which until the second year or end of the first one, by which time it is sometimes too late for some students.

Anyway, our international footballer, had pulled her socks up just in time and had actually passed her exams with quite a margin, which shows she is certainly not a dunce and like a number of footballers, actually had some functioning grey matter between their ears. Mind you, Sarah had helped her revision and she told me in doing so, she had understood the material even more which enabled her to get a distinction. Danni just missed one. Trish got 100% in her paper but complained it wasn't hard enough, she was probably the only one.

The professor of physics knew her well enough, he used to set her problems in the school holidays and had told me more than once that as soon as Cambridge knew how clever she was they'd be luring her with all sorts of offers. She finds our course too easy but we need to let her grow up sufficiently to do a PhD, so I planned on trying to keep her here for a master's or perhaps somewhere fairly close like Southampton, though I think the travel to and fro would drive her nuts. She's 16 and soon will be 17, then she could learn to drive and travel back and forth, as she'd be two years older and hopefully a bit more mature. In some ways she is, in others, she isn't and I think she could end up being led astray possibly into drink or drugs.

The next day Laura sent me a text to say she was in the labs downstairs and acting like a technician. I went down to see her and saw that she was helping set up some experiments on tissue cultures. This usually involved sections and stains and so on, basic stuff really which she should have covered at Sussex. We all know about my cottage industry of making them for other students, helped me to eat a bit as I'd spent most of my student loan on the Scott, my yellow machine which gave me the confidence to learn to ride, which was all it took, that and being told to join the girlies. A few months later, I beat the same person who'd dismissed me in the annual hill climb - why? Because I was smaller, lighter and trained to beat him. It was in some ways my only real triumph on a bike or anything sporting. I learned which hill it was to be held on and got used to it, then went off and found something even steeper and practiced with a rucksack full of books, bricks or tin cans. This was just before I started oestrogens but even then my feminine-type body which didn't recognise testosterone had more than a passing resemblance to a young teenager, with breast buds and growing hips and a large backside in proportion to a thin body.

So I looked a bit of a softy, or girly and even after all the training I had done, my muscles didn't show that much. About fifty had entered and I had difficulty getting registered as a boy, especially riding a girl's bike, but it didn't really matter in the end because I actually had the fastest time overall, beating Big Mouth into third place. After claiming the trophy, I managed to escape from the usual interview with the university newsletter though photos that had been taken during my climb featured, and because I looked feminine they asked who the mystery woman was. I had entered as a male student but they thought this was a blind. I don't know why, I wasn't hiding, my own cohort of students could have told them who I was, the swotty wimp who was either a grungy girl or an effeminate boy, they weren't sure but they knew me, sort of.

I kept up the riding, after all it was how I came down to Portsmouth. I had become very interested in populations, distribution, and mapping and Prof Agnew was trying to put forward suggestions for competing for the project which we eventually won. It didn't help that it wasn't quite his bag, but Sussex, through Esmond had encouraged me to go and listen. I did after riding down there on my bike, I asked some penetrating questions and was invited to come and study for a master's degree using dormice as my project mammal. Many of the criteria I adopted for studying dormice were taken almost verbatim from my dissertation, and I was offered a chance to do a doctoral degree using data from the mammal survey and my own studies.

The rest is history; I transitioned during my master's and only learnt later that Esmond, who knew Tom had had a gender dysphoric daughter asked him to take me under his wing and give me some space to sort myself out. I did as you all know and of course, my genius was recognised in doing the survey, ha like hell, I think my petulance and self-destructiveness was also recognised and only the patience and love of Tom, Stella, and my Simon held me together during my periods of darkness. Daddy and Simon were really incredibly generous giving me somewhere to live and someone to experiment with as a partner because until Simon happened, I'd never fallen for anyone, in fact I used to wonder if I ever would, because I didn't know if I was even a sexual animal. I know I've said that the man from the garage was my awakening when he stole a kiss from me, but all the hard work was done by Simon and it was his patience I sometimes wore to the bone, not to mention that of Tom who not only gave me a home, allowed me to become a woman, but also allowed me to gain academic, personal and family fulfilment. It was his house that I filled with waifs and strays who later became my adopted children and who unofficially adopted me as his daughter. I feel closer to him than I ever did to my birth father.

Now all I had to do was try and keep the TERFs and Laura apart. Thankfully they didn't exist in my day or at least weren't a problem and they don't seem to have noticed me in the university or my three trans children, although all have become legally female since, and Danni's was quite public because of her footballing skills, including a bit of a fuss when she got an England cap. Perhaps because she's almost a teen icon, they leave her alone, the flak they'd receive would be overwhelming as she is now one of the Lioness heroines who nearly won the World Cup, they stay well away from her. Now where was Laura and will I get involved in playing with slide making?

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3410 by Angharad Copyright© 2023 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`

I spoke to Esmond at Sussex; remember this old letch was my professor when I was doing my bachelor's (should that be spinster's) degree, and I must have been the only woman he made no pass at. He's pretended since but he knows how big Simon is and I think he has a respect for me, plus he prefers them younger and prettier than me.

He confirmed what Tom had told me last night, that Sussex, Portsmouth, and Southampton had formed an alliance of TERFs, which they considered were just a group of radical feminists. They may have been at surface level, and if that had been the case they'd have had my unconditional support, but the fact that nearly all were lesbians of the man-hating variety, plus of course that included m-f transwomen, who they considered were just dickless men. They believed in the superiority of women, which I part support, but I see it as flawed because in a balanced society everyone is valued, including the sick, disabled, and the criminals, the latter often were just those who had never developed integration with society, so had no stake in protecting or developing it. This is usually the parents, who may be on the periphery themselves and were thus unable to pass on the required skills to their offspring. I suspect many of the problems we have in society are caused by the problems of the parents being passed on to the children. Perhaps the bible had it right about things being visited on the third and fourth generations, although the context was wrong as we are talking social or psychological problems being passed down the generations, perhaps even some genetic forms as well. It's known we develop our core values from significant persons during our early life, so parents, teachers, and some older relatives together with peer groups can all play a part in the development of the individual, right up to puberty or adolescence, and we all know how difficult that can be for them in so many ways. I had an awful time, developing a set of values which included knowing what was right and wrong and respect for others unless they caused me to rethink that negatively. I was usually prepared to give a second chance until they betrayed me - then unless they did something remarkable or I was proved wrong, I would never trust them again.

My birth father, always expected me to be attracted to girls and eventually settle down with one and between us produce 1.5 or is it 2.5 grandchildren for them to dote over. Okay, that's the theory. Now being a typical girl, I was quite compliant and tried to date several girls in school. It never worked because I always felt I was doing it just for appearances, when I had no desire for them, just to be them. Usually, I was turned down flat, with the response, Yuck, I don't want to date another girl,' being typical. When one agreed to come to the cinema with me, I duly cadged some extra money from my dad, and treated her to a meal beforehand, okay we went to a certain burger franchise, and then popcorn and drinks in the cinema. I was so pleased that someone had said yes, although the fumble in the dark in the stalls was disastrous and it was like kissing a catfish I had survived the ordeal. My pater was duly proud of his son so I got extra pocket money in case I wanted to take Natalie out again, so things were as far as I knew okay, at least at a superficial level until the next day in school I overheard Natalie talking to her friends and mocking our date, 'Ugh', she said, 'It was like kissing another girl and he had no idea about what to do with his hands, I reckon he's gay or something, probably a bottom.'

I ran off in tears, yeah, real tough guy fashion, and cried myself to sleep in a dark corner by the caretaker's cupboard. I never tried dating again except with Siân, and we were just girlfriends and some twenty years later still are. She tolerated and encouraged my girliness and her parents seemed to see me as one too, we were allowed up to her room and other privileges because they considered me another girl. How come they could see it and my own parents couldn't?

One of Siân's enemies was a girl called Josephine Hunter. I think the animosity arose because of me. I didn't appreciate that Siân was trying to deal with her sexuality, especially coming to terms with being gay. She really didn't deal with it until she went off to university but then I was trying to deal with this voice inside me that was trying to tell me I was really a girl, it had done ever since nursery when I used to squabble with other girls over who got to wear the princess outfit, so I had no real thoughts about Siân except how accepting she was of my girliness and I knew also that I was safe with her and her family. Her mum was always so nice to me, but then, she was nice to everyone, she was just a lovely person.

I got into work and did everything Diane required of me in return for keeping my tea levels up to the high mark. I had spoken to Esmond and had gone to the lab and found Laura flirting with two male technicians in the prep room. My look evidently was enough to stop the shenanigans and she showed me the work she had done on slide preparation. It was adequate but no comparison to the stuff I used to do at Sussex and Laura must have heard of it because she mentioned it to everybody in the prep room. "They still talk about the slides you made at Sussex and they still have quite a few in their collection. You can tell a Watts' slide by how good it is and the tiny writing on the label, which is really girly and neat."

Of course, the techies now had something to tease me about, even if they could be pulling the tail of a tiger, and they produced some I made during my master's when I found a couple of dead dormice and did sections of various organs including the brain and muscle tissue. Most of the slides I did were in my personal collection at home but I did some for the university as well as they had none of dormice.

Laura and Brian the techie who got the slides from the slide cabinet, were in awe of these slides.

Laura said, "How come yours are so good and mine are barely useable?" Brian was also interested in my answer.

We ran through the method, checked the microtome and the wax kit and they were doing the right things I just shrugged my shoulders and said, "I just have a knack for it I suppose, Debbie is pretty good as well, get her to show you." With that, she popped into the prep room.

"Is this a private party, or can anyone join?" she said smiling, "Diane said you were probably skiving off down here."

"Huh, talk about staff loyalty, remind me to sack her later."

"Oh come on, Cathy, she'd take a bullet for you, we all would."

I blushed, "In which case, I'll leave it till Friday." They all laughed.

Laura looked at Debbie and said, "Professor Watts was saying you were good at making slides."

"Not compared to her, but she taught me to make better slides than I did and I teach it to first years. Why? I thought you were a post-grad student? Haven't you done slide prep before?"

"Yeah, I did it at Sussex, but she's still a legend there and I was just telling everyone here," then in a stage whisper she said, "I'm trying to get her to show me how she does it."

"Um, Prof, uh could you run a session for us, as part of professional training?" Debbie threw at me.

"It's ages since I did one." I tried to give a non-committed answer, "You'd probably do a better job than me, as you're more up-to-date on everything.

"Prof, you are the maestro or whatever the female equivalent is, so would you please run a session for us to show us or remind us how to do this properly? You might not have made one since you showed me last time but you hadn't forgotten anything then and you make it look so easy. It could be done under staff training and it would look good on everyone's CV."

"I'd have to do some revision of staining and so on as some are now banned because they are so poisonous."

"Does that mean you'll do it?" she asked fluttering her eyelashes at me in a way she knew I would ignore but it made her like a parody of a young girl entreating her parent. The rest of them laughed at her.

"Have a word with Diane, see when I have a few hours free."

"I already did she says you're free on Thursday morning for the whole morning."

"Did she now...?" I said with a pronounced threat in the tone, although it was all nonsense.

"Yes, yes she did, so can we book the prep room for it or one of the labs?"

"Better make it one of the labs, these good people," I meant the technicians. "may have experiments or equipment to set up."

"No prof, if you can run a session, we'd love to be included in it, I've seen some of your slides too and if you can teach me to do it like you do, that would be great."

"Okay, Thursday morning, wear lab coats or old clothes, some of the stains are difficult to wash out. I'd like to speak to these two young ladies alone, if I may?"

The two boys disappeared and I drew Debbie and Laura toward me, "It seems the TERF problem is more of a problem than I first understood. It appears that they have formed a group between this uni and Sussex and Southampton. They have regular meetings and it appears coordinate their actions, so instead of just a few from one of the universities we have to cope with perhaps twenty or thirty, the numbers swollen by the other two uni's. It gets them more publicity and attracts more members. It smacks of external support but we don't know from where but if we can hit their funding, we can stop a lot of the nonsense and hate they promulgate."

"What have we done to them, I never understood that?" asked Laura.

"It's more of a perceived threat than an actual one and it has little basis in reality but then isn't this how Trump has grown his support with people sold fear and hate and him as the one person who can prevent the chaos, he is actually causing? I believe that if people are told the unvarnished truth, they can decide for themselves."

"No prof, they won't listen, nor will Republicans or Tories over here, they don't want the truth as it's inconvenient or doesn't match their bubble, so they are prepared to support a campaign based on lies."

"Surely not at a university? I mean we may not be Oxbridge but we have some pretty bright people here."

"Prof, it's based on fear, usually nonsensical variety, we are portrayed as monsters, which is doubly untrue in your case, but they sell a demonised idea, and people who don't really think about it support it and then we have to deal with an entrenched attitude. It's like religion, all nonsense but people will kill to preserve it."

"Oh dear, looks like we may be in for some interesting times. Try not to become isolated or you become an easy target."

"I don't think I'm too worried by a few lesbians," said Laura with a swagger.

"It may not be ones and twos but twenties or thirties and people, viz us, could get hurt. Keep your eyes peeled and at the first sign of trouble, run for it to a safe place or a very public place. This is now an amber warning. Take care, I have to go."

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3411 by Angharad Copyright© 2023 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`
Proof of God is nebulous based on faith which seems acceptable to the majority of people in the world. Proof of gender is equally nebulous, seems unacceptable to many people but is just as valid as the existence of God. Why is there a difference?
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I checked with Diane and it seemed she had booked me to run a workshop on slide preparation on Thursday morning and it was to run as post-graduate training or professional development. I went off to my office to sulk and revise what I knew about the stains we use for specimens. Apparently none had been out and out banned but people using some were advised to wear appropriate protection, work in a fume cupboard or use alternatives. Perhaps doing so many of them in my youth had caused my brain to melt or something because I couldn't think of a reason why I had agreed to run this workshop. I asked Debbie to take it over and she refused saying that people wanted to listen to the organ grinder rather than the monkey so it began to look as if I was stuck with it. I really didn't have time to spend on this, not while the TERFs were still plotting to cause chaos.

I spoke with Daddy about it when he invited me to lunch, that wasn't my intention but we chatted for half an hour while we ate. He told me that while it had gone quiet here things were afoot at Sussex, he didn't elaborate but told me to speak with Esmond myself as he believed it was better to hear it from the horse's mouth than secondhand. All the way back I wondered what was going on that he couldn't tell me about. It all seemed very mysterious. I was intrigued enough to call Esmond once I was back in my office.

"What's going on?" I asked him.

"Looks like they're planning something very public," he replied.

"Like what?"

"We don't yet know but it seems as if one of our professors might be involved."

"Do I know them?"

"She wasn't here when you were, though she heard you do the talk on making wildlife films a couple of years ago."

"It's more than a couple of years ago, Esmond, but who is she?"

"Professor Josephine Hunter, she does Religious Studies and Politics, why?"

The name suddenly rang bells, it reminded me of the girl who caused Siân so much trouble. It could be coincidence but I'm not a great believer in that. "Does she come from Bristol?"

"How d'you know that, she went to Bristol Girls' Grammar School."

"Oh dear, she caused a girlfriend on mine, I mean a girl who was my best friend, a lot of bother, I was hoping never to hear of her name again, except possibly that she'd been eaten by a crocodile on the Zambesi or some such thing, but if I was realistic, she was so horrible no self-respecting crocodile would go anywhere near her, she was toxic."

"I believe she still is from what I've heard about her, thankfully she doesn't have any contact with me except for the university counsel and we clashed over her motion to ban trans women from using the ladies loos. She failed as our inclusive policies towards all groups meant it would be against our constitution."

"Yes, they tried that here, the TERFs I mean, and we pointed out they had all agreed to our policies before they actually started here and they would be breaking that agreement and would thus be possibly liable to disciplinary action or expulsion. It usually shuts them up. But Religion and Politics, I always thought they were the same hypocrisy."

"Now now Cathy, moderate your cynicism."

"Well, if someone can explain how religion isn't the ultimate in power politics..."

"I'm sure plenty would be able to tell you but it's not my area of expertise, nor I suggest yours either."

"I've been on the receiving end a few times."

"Ah, that would explain your hostility."

"But it doesn't explain the hostility of the TERFs toward a minority who have never done anything to them."

"No, I doubt they have, anyway, there's going to be a meeting here, open to the public, next week entitled something like, 'Should we tolerate trans women in our society?' Apparently, Hunter is down to speak at it."

"Why, when she was in Bristol harassing Siân, she was anti-lesbian, why the change of spots in supporting this society of bigots?"

"Oh, she's lesbian herself, didn't you know? Of course, the trans activists are decrying her but some of their tactics possibly do more harm than good."

"Yes, protest these days has to involve some sort of public relations as well before they start their marches. Brighton is renowned for it being the capital of Gay Britain, I'd have thought that it was far more integrated than that, especially at the university."

"I thought we were, I mean the Pride march here is the biggest in the country and as far as I know they all have a good time, but lately this group is causing us problems, the word is they have some links with a Baptist church in Texas or North Carolina, which is possibly funding them."

"That I didn't know, how did you find out?"

"One of our students infiltrated the group and brought it to light, she was subsequently attacked off campus and has since gone into hiding."

"Poor kid, if you have any more info please email it to me."

"Yeah, I think I have a few things, I'll get them sent to you."

I had something to work with now and began trying to probe the society's accounts here and got nothing, I complained to Diane and within two days she had evidence that they were funded by the Real Baptist Church of Texas and North Carolina. I researched them online and found they were hardly Christian in their objectives. They were essentially a nasty group of racists and I hate to say Republicans, but it seemed many of their aims were against black people, abortion, women's rights, gay men (but not women) and of course, the antichrist of trans women - who they believed were men who were trying to infiltrate and undermine the women's movement. Yeah, that's why we suffer all our lives just to undermine the women's movement, right? Why are these bastards allowed to exist, they just run on hatred and causing others hurt? They need psychotherapy after being locked in a room with rubber-lined walls. Still, at least here I don't think they all have private arsenals of firearms like they do in the States.

I sent for Debbie and Laura to appraise them of the situation, Debbie was all for getting on her high horse and confronting them at this meeting. I told her not to bother as they'd probably skewed it so any outcome was in their favour and exposing herself was likely to result in possible physical hostility. Laura just sat looking rather scared.

I didn't know what to do, so I spoke to Tom at dinner that night. Trish and Danni as well as Sarah heard us talking and told me I had to do something. I asked them what and they just said, do something.

Daddy was for keeping out of things as public meetings were always potentially dangerous and especially after that girl in Brighton had been assaulted, he wanted us all to stay safe.

"If it was bloody dormice they were against you'd be there, fighting for them, why can't you defend our right to exist?" Trish asked the question and although both I and Daddy replied, she declined to accept our answers and stormed off. I felt awful. Was I a coward? I hoped not. I couldn't get involved because my children could be at risk. I spent a sleepless night but managed to crawl into the office the next day. Diane told me I didn't look well.

Debbie was still hopping mad and the LGBT group at the university was supporting her, she was still intent on speaking at the meeting and it got on the grapevine that she meant to. Lots of students were supporting her but we were all shocked and hurt to hear she had been attacked outside her own home as she went there after work the next night. The police were involved but nothing seemed to come from it except there were three of them and a baseball bat was involved. The assailants driving off in a car that was discovered burnt out a day or so later.

It reminded me of the attack on Maureen who I met when visiting Debbie in hospital, she was outraged that people were being attacked here for just being different. "We need someone to tell our story ma'am, someone like yourself who has credibility, who can speak to crowds of people, who can show these monsters up for what they are."

"I'm not sure I'm the best person, Maureen besides my own family could be at risk if I did."

"Yeah, I suppose they could, sorry I spoke," she ambled off briefly meeting with Trish who had come to see Debbie."

"How is she?"

"She has several broken bones and some head injuries, they're keeping her in an induced coma for a few days to reduce brain swelling."

"D'you think this has anything to do with her going to speak at this meeting on Saturday?"

"I don't know but it seems quite possible."

"Who's going instead?"

"I don't know but I suspect no one is after this, it sends a powerful message."

"Oh, fuck that Mum, someone has to do it and if you can't be bothered I suppose I'll have to do it myself. They don't frighten me." She looked at Debbie and then, "Why do these things happen to nice people? Don't worry Debs, I'll stand in for you," and she walked out while I was reeling at her declaration. I came to my senses and ran after her but she was nowhere to be found. I returned to my office and apparently, she had not come back to her course. I was very scared that something had happened to her and she wasn't answering her phone, I was very nervous and told everyone at home to be very wary and stay indoors. I went and got the girls from school and told the headmistress what was happening, she promised to send work via the Internet and hoped the girls wouldn't be away too long. By tea time I was frantic, no one had heard from Trish and I made Danni and the others stay at home. Diane told me to stay at home while she continued to try and find out if Trish was in the university somewhere, it seemed she hadn't been seen since I had spoken to her. I was now terrified for her.

I'd spoken to Simon who spoke to Sammi who phoned me and said she had spoken to friends at Cheltenham and they were doing some checks for her. I thanked her for her efforts and she replied she loved her sister and would do whatever became necessary.

Trish was dumped in a park and discovered by dog walkers, she was again badly beaten and admitted to hospital. I was there in minutes pleading to see her, I told Simon as I waited to see her and he was on his way down swearing revenge of whoever did it. Danni came to wait with me and asked if it was to do with the meeting in Brighton. I told her I didn't know but it could be. She said she wished she could take Trish's place but she didn't think she could talk to a crowd and convince them of the cause. I gave her a hug and told her I understood.

I was there for hours when Simon came, he gave me a monster hug and I was glad to relax in his arms. "Why don't you go home, I'll keep watch here and if she wakes up I'll let you know." It took three attempts by him to get me to go home and rest and I accepted his offer and yawned, picking up my bag I walked to my car and saw a note on it. I put on some gloves I kept in the car and opened it. It simply said 'Keep away from Brighton - you have been warned.' I got in the car, locked it and drove home. I called the police and they sent someone over to collect it, they thought it may have something to do with this meeting but of course, there was no evidence to support the hypothesis.

Stella made me a cuppa and tried to reassure me, but I was too distraught to drink it. "I hope to god she's okay, if anything happens to her I'll go to Texas and burn their fucking church down while they're all in it."

"That would do her a lot of good, she needs you as her mum to be there for her, not as a vigilante likely to spend a long time in prison."

"They've won, haven't they?"

"If you think like that they have."

"If only we had some evidence."

"Yeah, well don't expect the plod to find it. They couldn't find your foot in your shoe." She went off to look after her girls.

I'd been home about half an hour when the phone rang. It was Sammi. "You're never going to believe how many strings I've had to pull; eventually when I said it may involve some American evangelists they seemed to move into action and within an hour had evidence that something was going on in Brighton, Southampton and Portsmouth."

"We knew that already," I sighed so much for GCHQ.

"Yeah, but they have evidence."

"Enough to convict someone?"

"I don't know, it's all somewhat shadowy but they mentioned emails and phone calls, which they had to open after decrypting them which mentioned something of 'target neutralised' minutes after they think Trish was attacked, and 'mother warned off' was another. That could tie them into your note."

"It's not much but thanks for trying. Looks like I may have to coincide a meeting in Brighton with a visit to some friends there."

"Don't be daft, Mum, it's too dangerous, let the police deal with it."

"Get that evidence to the police, I'm going to write an address to the people of Brighton, bye Sam." I made some fresh tea checked on the girls and made some notes. Danni arrived back from the hospital saying her dad had sent her home to get some rest. I told her what I was going to do and she gasped and implored me not to.

Simon hired a bodyguard to sit with Trish and he came home, I told him I was going to finish Trish and Debbie's task. He asked me if I was stupid and I said no, determined no one was going to assault my family and friends and get to crow about it. He told me he would come to protect me. I kissed him and went to bed.

The next day I let it be known that I was going to the meeting to make the case that Debbi and Trish were hoping to present. Danni again tried to dissuade me and then ran off. I went to see Trish and she looked a bit better. When I got home I caught Danni talking to Simon rather furtively and she ran off when I approached.

"What did she want?"

"It's not a crime for a daughter to speak with her dad, is it?" I shook my head at his answer then he went off to sit with Trish. Henry had phoned to ask how she was but I was too messed up to talk to him, so Stella did.

"On the Saturday evening, I found myself in Brighton approaching the city hall where the meeting had been transferred because the turn out for it was very large and activists from both the TERFs and the trans women and men were demonstrating outside, the police keeping a presence between them. I entered with Simon and put my name down to speak. We were shown to two seats.

The meeting was certainly lively and punctuated by various speakers having to deal with hecklers. Finally, Josephine Hunter rose to speak and mentioned the usual chestnuts then she got into the politics and finally that trans people were sinners and against the teachings in the bible.

I indicated to the chair that I was ready to speak. I was recognised and called to the stage. "I'm here because one of my colleagues and my own daughter were going to speak but they were attacked and are both in hospital, their contributions would doubtless be different from my own.

"We've heard Professor Hunter make her case, it wouldn't stand up in a court of law mainly because it's built on sand. She doesn't mention that people who oppose her argument seem to be assaulted, I'm sure she's not involved but she didn't mention being funded by a rather nasty evangelical group from America who preach hate almost as successfully as she does, again all based on nonsense.

"She tells me that it's wrong that someone born in one gender could claim to be the other gender. It's a delusion she says. She then goes on to mention that all such people are sinners and acting against holy law.

"We don't have technology to see if people are the opposite gender from their birth one, but being a reasonable human I take it on trust if they say it. You see, how can someone say that believing yourself to be the opposite gender is a delusion, when they actively worship a god that no one has ever seen or proved that even exists, yet millions of people worldwide believe in this delusion without batting an eyelid.

"'God's holy law', did anyone see God actually write it, if not why not, can't he do anything? Oh the ten commandments, I hear someone say, is there any evidence that there was a Moses because I know none. It's a myth like much of the bible written by men who were trying to remember a much earlier oral tradition. They were not very technologically based and how they interpreted natural events was simplistic and we know nowadays wrong, earthquakes being more due to tectonic plate movement than the anger of gods.

"We know physically there are more than two sexes many of them due to genetic differences from the usual but they do exist and they exist in the animal kingdom as well. I happen to be a biologist so know more about these than many.

"Nothing I have heard tonight makes me believe the case against transgenderism has been proven, just how nasty the people making it really are, the money comes from Americans who seem to be anti-anything good, they are against abortion, against gays except apparently gay women because it doesn't mention them in the bible, Queen Victoria will be so relieved," a chuckle broke out amongst the audience, "they don't like people of colour or black people - nice aren't they? These are the people funding this group of female malcontents. Even my esteemed academic, colleague - I use the term advisedly, now seems to be backing TERFs yet I can remember how she persecuted a girlfriend of mine who was gay, perhaps a Pauline conversion through the agency of this god they can't prove the existence of. Much of what they say is based on hate so I would imagine if Jesus were to appear now I am sure he'd be disappointed in them as he seemed inclusive in his ministry rather than preaching hatred.

"Finally, I have met many trans people as they are now called, and although I am sure there's the odd bad apple, none I have met so far have been anything but pleasant and just want to get on with their lives. Are they changing gender just so they can spy on women in toilets? The only violence so far has been shown by women who have attacked them in toilets.

"Finally, we live in an ever-crowded world, we need to help each other to be inclusive like Jesus was, and to see those who would preach otherwise to be divisive and usually full of anger and bile, perhaps if they spoke to us in a more friendly manner, we could help them solve the reasons for their anger and hate and teach them that when we cooperate we can send a man to the moon and bring him back safely, when we are in conflict people are hurt or die. I know which I prefer. Thank you."

There was silence for a couple of seconds before people got to their feet and applauded me. I didn't expect it but went back to Simon smiling yet tearful. He hugged me and said Debbie and Trish were conscious and Sammi texted me and it appears GCHQ is passing a whole file of evidence to Hampshire police, she said it looked pretty convincing. Come on, let's get home, eh?"

I nodded and that's what we did calling at the hospital to see my daughter and my friend, I told them what I'd done and they both smiled before going back to sleep.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3412 by Angharad Copyright© 2023 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`
So GCHQ had come up trumps, not the orange blob that once occupied the Whitehouse but enough evidence for the police to bring charges against the group of TERFS.

Simon and I went to visit Debbi and Trish and I walked out to the car for something and was confronted by three thugs wearing ski masks. They rushed at me and I had dropped two of them before they could land a finger on me. I continued punching and elbowing, mainly to faces and I know at least one had a nose go and another has bleeding from the thump on the jaw that I had given them. However, Simon came to see why I was so long in returning saw me scrapping and he charged into the group and with a minute or so they were all spitting teeth and lying in their own blood on the hospital car park. The police were called, a baseball bat was found and one was carrying a knife. We were told that CCTV had recorded it all and we'd face no further charges but we insisted that they be charged with assault with a deadly weapon and attempted murder.

It turned out that they were all TERFS, so all women and Simon was glad that he'd decked them all, even though I was doing alright by myself, the kickboxing coming in handy, or should that be footy?

They were all admitted to the hospital under arrest. All had facial injuries, all had broken noses and broken jaws. I promised the police that they'd better be sent to prison because if they came near me again, Simon might alter their dental formula even more ferociously than this time. Eventually the police proved a link between these female thugs and Josephine Hunter. They were looking to charge her with conspiracy to cause actual bodily harm. I just wanted a couple of minutes with her in a soundproof room. I knew I'd never change her mind but I could surely change her visage for the worse. I sent a note to Esmond telling him that I wanted a face to face with her and also that Simon had engaged James to prove a link to her with the beating of the girl in Brighton, and those of Debbie and Trish. He was looking to either get her convicted or have her legs broken I'd not seen him that angry for ages. He was plotting to get her sacked at Sussex and also to destroy her financially. He'd already ordered that for the women who attacked me, they were all black listed so they wouldn't be able to open a bank account or borrow money for several years.

The church in Texas suddenly discovered that they were bankrupt and the plot of land the church was built on was suddenly bought from under them and a women's health clinic was planned to be built there. The church of course, was demolished and their website seemingly was taken down as well as several messages came up about how God's plan to increase hate in the world was succeeding. I think Sammi may have been involved in that just as Simon exerted his financial muscle, as one of the richest men on earth the amount he spent destroying that church and showing evidence that got the elders all arrested for hate crimes and child pornography. Revenge is a dish best taken cold. His anger was glacial and his action catastrophic to the Texans and North Carolinians. Their church was finished, hopefully their hate followed soon after.

Back in Blighty the Americans who had been sent over to help the TERFS in Brighton were all listed for deportation and no return to the UK. I also got my meeting with Josephine Hunter. Simon had to go back to London so I went on my own. Professor Hunter looked drawn and haggard.. I knew her financial problems were increasing. I had no sympathy and told her to pick on someone her own size, a maggot or a worm.

I also told her that until my friend and my daughter recovered that she'd continue to be harassed financially wherever she was and I would continue to pursue her forever until she died. I told her that no one assaults my daughter and gets away with it, and I would make her life hell as long as she lived. I reminded her of her harassment of Siân and that she was a total hypocrite and Siân had spoken about talking to a newspaper to reveal the woman's early poison. I explained that she would die in poverty, Simon was going to make sure of it and I was going to make her job untenable.

She called me a filthy tranny. "You were the little poof who was always with Griffiths back in Bristol weren't you?"

" I'm actually as legally female as you are, probably more so. The difference is I have a family with several children who call me mother, how many do you have?"

"You're not a real woman, so those children can't be yours."

"I think you'd find if you asked them who their mother was my name would crop up every time also if you asked the authorities who their parents were? Simon and I would be named."

"Does your so called husband know he married a man?"

"If that's the best you can do no wonder you lost the argument. You realise that your little arrangement with that church in Texas has got MI5 crawling all over you So you could well be listed as a terrorist organisation."

"When you attacked my friends and family, you crossed a line. I don't take prisoners and you have been implicated in the assault on my friend and my daughter. Your hatred tried to hurt people I love, so you will pay until the end of your life. I am also making sure that everyone in your little group will be expelled from the university they are attending and probably ensure they won't get a job afterward.

"So you see we can hate as well and it tends to more effective than your toxic little group. You tugged a tigress by the tail, now you have to face one of the most powerful predators in the world. It will be merciless but you wouldn't be told, also you didn't realise the power available to me. Your backers in the States have been destroyed, the group here has been destroyed, you have been destroyed, so enjoy your misery; you see, I gave you someone to hate for real, not mythical assaults in bathrooms, but an enemy who will destroy you and who is more powerful than you ever dreamt. You unleashed this fury by attacking my child, you are lucky I didn't physically hurt you but you caused me to despise you and that means it will go on for a very long time. Goodbye you worthless bitch, enjoy all this leisure time you now have.

"You psycho," she called at me. "Enjoy fighting women do you?"

"They attacked me, they'd previously put my daughter and one of my colleagues in hospital. They'd also attacked that girl in Brighton. The CCTV shows that I was defending myself and Simon came to my rescue when he saw I was under attack. I fought to defend myself. As it happens it was against women but as they were armed with a knife and a baseball bat, they were guilty of aggravated assault. That they hadn't met anyone who did kickboxing before and also an enraged husband who played rugby for years, who was also the father of the young woman they attacked, he felt he had a score to settle. Unfortunately your little group bore the brunt of both our anger and suffered some facial injuries as a consequence. I don't feel guilty or regret as I would do it again tomorrow. It seems to be the only message you people understand. It's a pity but that's their hard luck. I didn't start this you did. I'm just sweeping up the dross, of which you're part."

I left. I didn't really enjoy the pain I'd caused her but It seemed the only way that she would learn not to mess with my family again and that trans people are not defenceless, some have powerful friends and because they support each other they're not easily crushed. To me it just proved that friendships and love always beat hate and malice

Back in my car I had lunch in a little restaurant and then drove home. In the office I had a call from Jim to say that they had enough evidence to proceed with prosecution of Josephine Hunter. Depending upon the trial she could face time in prison. "So is it over now?"

"Pretty well, they're fighting with bailiffs for their survival, so Simon has beaten them."

"Actually they beat themselves. Before you start a fight check out your opponent or you may bite off more than you can chew, especially if he knocks your teeth out."

"Si didn't do that did he?"

"He saw them attacking me and went sort of berserk"

"I suppose he would."

"I'm pleased that he came to my rescue, it helps to strengthen our bond and as he suspected they were the same group that beat up his daughter, he showed no mercy."

James told me that he wasn't surprised and would probably have done the same.

I remarked that violence doesn't solve anything. "No," he replied, "but it can be very satisfying."

"Only if you want people to run away from you."

"Some I'd be quite happy to have them respond that way."

"Perhaps because I'm female, I think I'd hate it.

"This whole episode of TERFS against transwomen is like a civil war amongst women.

I don't think anyone had seen it like that before, for Jim that was quite profound. I saw it all as a wasted effort. The real enemy are macho males, usually heterosexual males who are the largest group that attack or assault women. Until that group learns to respect women we will always be vulnerable and the problem seems to be worldwide. The short term answer is to avoid putting yourself at risk, avoid provocative clothing perhaps avoid men altogether. bio females learn this from the pram we neo women have to catch up fast as in so many things.

I was still playing with spreadsheets when Diane knocked my door and announced I had a visitor. It was our local TERF spokeswoman, self- appointed variety.

"Professor, I think the situation was made volatile by Professor Hunter. I think it's time to call a truce."

"It's too late for that. I warned you the university could object to your ignoring its policies, which you have agreed to uphold. Now it is exercising its muscle and any of your group of essentially jealous homosexual women found to have reneged on the contract will be expelled.

"The argument that women suffer harassment from childhood, doesn't take into account that trans women suffer more harassment and physical assault, even death. So your argument is based on sand. As for the religious element, it's total nonsense they have been selling their lies for over 2000 years. Religion is poison People are killed because of someone's belief, the victim is often trans. How can a god accept what we do in his name? The answer is simple, there is no god, man created him in his own misogynist image. Man can be good or bad, not creating atrocities like Hamas did recently in Israel. that was awful, but the office dweller who harasses his female colleagues or the schoolboy copping a feel of a girl's breast. They are both bad and need to learn so, they disrespect females and need to change. I doubt they will but I as a feminist actually feel they should. Everyone should be entitled to live in peace irrespective of sex, gender, orientation, race colour, we should be of the same value to society but until men lose the power to control everything and make the rules, it aint gonna happen."

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3413 by Angharad Copyright© 2023 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`
"I'm personally sorry that your daughter and colleague were assaulted I didn't realise it would go this far. I'm sorry."

"I accept your apology even though it is too little too late, this like a civil war between women. We are not enemies, we should band together for strength and solidarity against the power of misogynistic men and their institutions who spout scriptural nonsense at us as justification to abuse us or suppress us. Can't the average person realise if it's written down then a human wrote it not a deity? It's a lie they have been using for centuries and it has to stop.

"You have started a process that will happen and any of your group who broke the rules will be treated accordingly. My hands are tied, I just hope you all learn something from it. Women are under threat, not from trans people but from heterosexual men and the misogynistic institutions they create. Men are scared of women for some reason and claim we have to be controlled but invoking biblical passages shows how feeble their argument is. Goodbye." She left in tears but hopefully a little wiser.

"She come to surrender?" asked Diane when she brought me a cuppa.

"Apologise."

"Same thing innit?"

"I suppose. I hope she learns from it."

"Maybe she will - that mamma bear will defend her young, in this case her department, her family and friends against all comers and she happens to be married to the equivalent of a ten foot grizzly who owns a bank. Not someone to pick on lightly."

"I'll tell Simon you compared him to a grizzly bear," I joked.

"I didn't expect to work here for life..."

"Better hope they don't give you a life sentence then."

"What for murdering my boss?" She left my office laughing and I admit I cackled a bit myself at her retort. Then I returned to my spreadsheets until I left later that afternoon.

At dinner after the kids had left the table to do whatever they do after a family meal Daddy said quietly "Is it over?"

"I hope so; sadly we'll have the aftermath to deal with in the ensuing weeks. Letters will be going out pointing out that they broke university rules and policies which is a shame because the policies are there to protect them. Some will be suspended some sent down."

"Aye, I'll sign them showing nae department is individually involved. The university council wrote the rules and thae policies and they all signed up tae them."

"I'm sorry this happened, some of it has to be laid at the political situation and the interference of idiot celebrities who don't know what they are stirring up The rest seems to be a fear but of the misplaced sort. Women are rightly scared but that should be of heterosexual men who statistically do most of the abuse and assaults. Transwomen are of no danger to them and those who actually believe that men change gender to spy on women in loos, should still be in first grade intellectually if not kindergarten, their stupidity is breathtaking. No wonder they believe in a book of Jewish folk stories."

"Aye, I'm awa' tae ma study for wee dram."

"Enjoy it, you've earned it and thanks for the love and support you shown us."

"Whit 'd ye expect taewards ma ain family?"

"Nothing less, but I'd like to register my thanks and appreciation all the same."

"Aye, weel, ye hae." He turned and went into his study and I went off to mine a little moist in the eyeball department. I really loved this old man who'd shown me more love than my birthfather had ever done and I hoped he'd be with me for a long time as life without him was unimaginably sad and empty, although at some point it was likely. Simon said that when Tom died he wanted to give up banking to buy a farm and raise free range carrots. If he does maybe I'll give up academia and join him in the 'good life'. I'd make sure it was dormouse friendly and perhaps spend my time counting them and seeing what research I could do without much equipment except myself and a few nestboxes and nesting tubes. It's the time spent checking them that is always the problem, still, if I'm no longer gainfully employed, I'll have the time and the incentive to supply papers to mammal journals. I'll probably die a mammal ecologist, it's probably written though me like a stick of Blackpool rock, the confectionary rather than geological.

I made some tea and retired to my study and tried to do some darning of school uniforms, quite what my children got up to I had no idea but anyone who thinks girls are easier to raise than boys should take a look in my sewing bag, they'd soon be disabused of the idea. Hannah came into my study to show me a tear in her gymslip. Yes, they still wear them. It appears she was fighting in the play ground, someone called her mother a slut. Unless they meant her birth mother, that's me and I will have words with Sister Maria. Either way, her mother has been dead for several years, so the jibe is wrong and out of date and the girl that said it had better be given the facts of life by the headmistress or I will be looking to deal with her parents, who might not be able to afford school fees after I do. I realised how aggressive I'd become in dealing with that hag from Sussex. I decided I would have to take measures to become just an ordinary woman again and try and stop to smell the flowers if any survived the overnight frost.

I questioned Hannah some more about the abuse the girl had thrown at her and then had to comfort her afterward. It appeared she was more upset by the implication that the abuse related to me. I assured her that no one would believe it and that I would also protect the reputation of her birth mother, who was dead for a number of years and who had an awful death. But I told her as she couldn't defend herself, by dint of being dead, I would do it for her as no one should speak ill of the dead. She thanked me and apparently, the girl has an older sibling who knew about Hannah's original mother. I would make enquiries of the girl's parents and will put them all right and also mention that the last libel case I had cost the libeller half a million. The threat of what I might do, should frighten the brown stuff out of them. Few want to test their strength, financial or otherwise against the wife of a billionaire and owners of a bank, plus said wife was a professor, a bank director and award-winning film maker. No sane parent would want to go up against them unless they were trying to make a point which wasn't guaranteed to come out in court against Jason, as he'd be working to protect my reputation and have the court find against the other party, and he was particularly good at his job.

I know we all claim lawyers are the closest living relatives of predatory cartilaginous fish, but were all glad to know a couple and Jason had proved himself over and over. He knew the legal system and how to work it, was highly regarded within it and his fees were equally high. His name alone had stopped one or two mistaken actions against us or the bank. Grown men didn't actually tremble at his name but they certainly changed their minds about lawsuits. Thankfully we're not as bad as America for specious litigation but at times I do wonder.

I was up early the next day and took the girls to school. Livvie is now at Southampton doing a degree in English and Women's studies and enjoying it, so Hannah was the eldest of the siblings I took along with Cate and Lizzie. It didn't take long to brief Sister Maria and she said she would speak to the girl herself and point out the dangers of accusing people of things without positive proof or evidence and even then it can be dangerous. Guilty parties may have an individual idea of the law and few scruples about silencing those who become a nuisance. Even governments aren't above doing so, you really need to be careful when you spout inflammatory statements or accusations.

I had been at my office for less than an hour when Sister Maria called me and said to stand down my troops as the parents realised where the remark had arisen and offspring would be dealt with in no uncertain terms especially the older variety who was looking to reinsure her car and thus provided the parents with some leverage. They knew nothing of Hannah's background and were horrified to learn their fifteen-year-old daughter was making such claims. They also gasped when they learned who Hannah's parents were now.

Mission accomplished and Debbie came back to work today, earning her a cup of my office tea - today was Orange Pekoe. It was good to see that she had completely recovered from her ordeal as had Trish, and she laughed at the image of Simon wading in amongst those stupid women attackers. I actually blushed at the memory especially when I thought of the injuries I had caused with my kickboxing blows that were a complete surprise to them, as were a couple of broken noses, jaws and cheekbones. Cracking stuff - I don't think.

Life was coming back to normal and it was reasonably good. I'd stopped thinking of Tom's demise and got back into my regular workload, all I had now was to examine those blessed spreadsheets. Where was Simon when I needed him? Oh well, here we go...

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3414 by Angharad Copyright© 2023 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`
The slur that had been cast at Hannah proved to have come from someone with a much older sister who could remember previous slurs. The headmistress was quick to close it down by mentioning who her adopted parents were and that no one had taken them on in courts and won, including the local police force and one or two evangelicals. Although a nun, Sister Maria was no bible thumper and while they had a certain amount of religion to teach in order to stop the local catholic diocese investigating or inspecting too often. Thankfully, they didn't do so while Trish was there and would have had us excommunicated immediately, except we're not Catholic, capitalist maybe, but I am a self confessed agnostic verging(not the verging Mary) on atheism, Simon is probably the same and most of the kids also fit in this mould too. Tom pays some lip-service to the local Anglican church and he's Church of Scotland. I think because of his experiences in the churchyard in believing his wife and daughter and my young daughter to be contactable there. He's entitled to his beliefs and opinions, which are based upon his own experiences and having felt something similar at this same churchyard, I get shivers thinking of it, plus of course, the experiences of Trish and Danni and other of my girls there. Fortunately, it doesn't worry them and they accept what happens without too much thought, whereas I have to explain it to myself, rationalise what maybe isn't possible to explain, except by some self-delusion or mistaken perception. The fact that many experiences of this nature happen in a dream-like consciousness, so did they happen or not? Who knows? It worries me little because saving the planet takes priority and I forget how many letters I have written to newspapers or politicians trying to encourage the government to implement measures to reduce pollution and the usage of fossil fuels.

It seems the oil industry has been fighting a dirty war against conservationists for years, withholding data, publishing fake data and paying liars and politicians to support unwise or dangerous policies and views; look at the current government of the UK to see this. They think people are too self-interested to care about the environment, being more worried about migration and other issues.

Let's get something straight, in years to come with increase global climate change, migration will at least double if not increase tenfold because much of the planet will be uninhabitable as temperatures and droughts soar, with occasional floods and inundations, but probably not where the rain would do good. Our greed has destroyed this planet despite David Attenborough trying to say it's not too late.

Now I hear the tobacco industry has been actively trying to undermine antismoking legislation. We are run by global companies and corporations not governments which is why the planet is in such a mess, we are consumers at best, cannon fodder at worst, they are all merciless and soulless and they'll probably still be running their private jets and yachts when you and I are expiring from drought, heat or starvation, If there is a hell, I wish all of them a long period there.

Simon agreed to look at my spreadsheets after dinner; he flew through them, spotted various anomalies that I hadn't and I paid him back in bed, he thought he had a good trade off but I didn't mention that I was horny myself and enjoyed it as much as he did, and I got my spreadsheets sorted so I can write my report now. So it was win-win, I like those contests.

They say that only natural females have hormonal cycles. It's not my experience and about once a month I have a few days of horniness then it recurs about a month later, yet I'm taking the same dosage all the time. As far as I'm concerned it happens to other trans women too and they call it their period seeing as it can lead to mood swings, irrational thinking as well as sex drive swings. Some call it PMS as they do in menstruating women. It's not possible say some scientists, but like religion, it seems to happen. So much for experts (except those working with dormice - so why are they still declining? In two words, intensive agriculture and much of that is based on chemicals, greed, not understanding the needs of the land and exhaustion of the natural productiveness of their fields). We're back to global companies and hedge funds treating the countryside as another means of exploitation and making money. It seems more important than the planet despite the obvious question, when the Earth is uninhabitable where are they going to spend their money - flying to other planets and destroying those too?

Doesn't it also strike one as odd that India is trying to land something on the moon while large numbers of their population are short of food, medicines and education, Russia is waging war in Ukraine while their people sacrifice their sons for the lunacy of their leader. Populist politicians are still in the ascendancy despite it being a fact that they make things worse for everyone except the thieves who fund them. Politicians and priests, two groups who prosper by pointing out our differences, though in reality we are all the same, we are stupid self-interested fools and until we start using our brains for more than filling our craniums we are doomed.

I went for a walk and was so wrapped up in doom and gloom and my anger because of mans stupidity and greed I felt like punching someone's lights out. This wasn't helped by reading of the murder of a trans teenager by two very sick teenagers, a girl and boy who were obviously guilty from the evidence already shown, unrepentant except for being caught and also planned to kill two or three other teens because they didn't like them.

They seemed without conscience or any empathy, I think they called them psychopaths at one time but they are a product of the society in which we live and quite an indictment as to its failure and the value of life being downgraded.

If you don't feel appalled by teenagers of 15 deciding it would be fun to kill someone, then stabbing them thirty times, you are reading the wrong story on the wrong website on the wrong planet. They took away the life of a young woman who had probably gone through hell to live as she wanted, with the support of her family and was achieving that when for a whim she was murdered in a public park by people she thought were her friends. Sick doesn't begin to describe it.

I'll stop now as I'm so angry with those who feel they have a right to end the lives of others and show how vile the human race really is and we're allowing it to happen.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3415 by Angharad Copyright© 2023 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`
Trish and I were in one of the superstores, apparently, there would be a delivery tomorrow for David's usual online order which would be a pre-Christmas one and was larger than usual. However, we needed some items before that so Trish and I got volunteered She was pushing the trolley and I was mostly filling it with the things David had told me we lacked which I'd I had turned into a list. When it was concluded I began to think it was nearly as long as the one they'd be delivering tomorrow but Trish was happy pushing it and I would be paying it with one of Simon's cards, so really it was just the time factor that was the issue.

I happened to be looking for the next thing on my list and I noticed a girl grab something and put it inside her coat. I told Trish and sure enough the girl lifted something else and shoved it in her coat. I looked at her, her coat certainly had seen better days as had her jeans and shoes. Trish watched her as she looked for red kidney beans, "She just took some cheese."

"Is she just thieving or can't she afford the goods here?"

"She'd probably say that anyway." Trish seemed quite hard towards someone who for all we knew might be trying to feed two little ones without sufficient money to fund it.

"Wait here, I'm going to speak with her."

"Be careful she might have a knife."

"Thieves are rarely violent it's only robbers and muggers who are and she doesn't strike me as one of those."

"Nah, I'll give you that," said my daughter as she watched the woman. "If she starts anything, I'll finish for her," she continued although she couldn't really punch her way out of a paper bag.

I strolled over to the woman pretending to look for something. "Are you going to pay for all that?" I asked her.

"What do you mean?" she asked me trying to maintain eye contact but signally failing.

"I think you know what I mean, I've been watching you for about ten minutes, I'm sure if I spoke to a member of staff, they soon prove if I was wrong."

"Alright, so you've caught me, make you feel good does it?"

"No it doesn't but shoplifting raises prices for everyone."

"Yeah well if they gave me enough benefits I'd be able to pay like everyone else."

"Let's go and have tea, I find that helps difficult situations become a little easier."

"I ain't got no money."

"Oh, well It looks like I'm buying then." I led her to a table and she sat down looking very apprehensive but too tired to fight back. I got a couple of teas and some tuna sandwiches. I handed her the food and one of the cups of tea.

"You not having any?" she asked.

"No, a cuppa's enough for me," I replied whereupon she tore into the wrapped pair of the fishy morsels and began wolfing them down. "Hungry?" I asked.

"Yeah, not had anything since yesterday."

"Would you like a hot meal?"

"Nah, these'll do."

"Okay, now give me a good reason why I don't give you up to the store?"

"Buying me a sandwich gives you the right to judge me does it, have that one back." She handed me the second sandwich.

"I'm not here to judge you, I'm trying to stop you getting into more trouble, because if I saw you, I'm sure the store detectives did ages before, just waiting for you to exit before they strike." Just then Trish arrived. "Get yourself a cuppa, sweetheart. and while you're there get another empty trolley." She went off to get the trolley, which she brought back to me and then went for her tea, I gave her some money and she came back with a tea and a cake. By then I'd managed to get the young woman to eat the second sandwich.

I introduced Trish and the girl gave her name as Emily, so I said I was Cathy. As Trish scoffed her cake and drank her tea I pushed the empty trolley to Emily, which I doubted was her name, and suggested she put her purloined goods into it. She thought for minute before complying with my request and I had to ask her again before we had them all. It was quite a haul. However, instead of reporting her I led her around the store filling up her trolley with all sorts of goodies and necessities like meat, fish, fruit and veg as well as bread and pasta and tinned meats and fish as well. We stood in the checkout queue and she started to look frightened, I laid my hand on her shoulder, "I can't pay for all this," she said.

"No, but I can." I said quietly to her.

"But why would you do that?"

"It's my Christmas present to you," and I transferred the chicken from my trolley to hers asking Trish to get us another one. We had to buy half a dozen bags but hey, I didn't expect to need them beside the several we'd brought for our own groceries.

I paid for both trolley loads and we went back to my car and loaded them in the boot, the bags were completely different so shouldn't be mistaken. Then I insisted we take her home.

She was reluctant to tell me but I eventually persuaded her to do so before her ice cream melted. She eventually guided me to one of Portsmouth's most run-down council estates. Reluctantly she opened the front door and led us in. Under a pile of coats by a single bar electric fire sat an older lady who looked frozen and ill.

"Mum, this lady has bought us a load of groceries,"

The older lady nodded and said thanks before a really chesty cough. "You taking anything for that cough?" I asked and she shook her head. Her daughter said she'd had Covid and never seemed any better but the doctor wasn't interested. I listened to her distressed breathing and asked who their doctor was, I looked for a phone but the daughter explained that they had been cut off for non-payment.

"Who is your doctor?" she told me and Trish looked up his number on her iPhone. I took it and dialled; it answered and a not too helpful receptionist answered.

I got the older lady's name and the address we were at and asked for an urgent house cal., On hearing her name and address the receptionist became very defensive. "Who are you?" she asked me.

"I'll tell you who I am if you'll tell me who you are?" I offered

"Why?"

"Because if this lady gets worse then I'll know who to sue along with the rest of the practice."

"Surely, there must be an easier way?"

"Oh, It'll be easy for me; my legal team just need a target and off they go, if the name Jason White means anything, he leads it and I can't remember when he last lost a case, Hampshire Police lost to him for damages in excess of half a million, and I'm not joking.

"I'm not paid for this level of responsibility, I'm putting you through to Dr Goodwin." I heard the click as she transferred me.

"This had better be important," said a male voice.

"Oh, it is, I'm with ... ", and I gave the old lady's name and address.

"Not her again, what's wrong this time?"

"You're the doctor, but I suspect a chest infection and long Covid."

"Okay, I'll put her on tomorrow's list."

"And I may contact my legal team and sue for negligence."

"Who are you to be making such threats?"

"I'll ask a doctor friend to see this patient and see how ill she is and if he'll stand as an expert witness.

"Okay, who are you before I report you to the police?

"I'm the Lady Catherine Cameron, now you tell me you are coming tonight or I'll phone my doctor friend and he'll come and we'll sue. Nice speaking to you." I rang off and before Emily could make us a cuppa the doctor rang back and said he'd be here in an hour. I thanked him and shivered despite wearing a coat. I enquired about the heating and again like the phone bill it was not paid so they had a pay meter. I asked where they got it charged, they have electronic cards so you pay in advance. It's dearer and to me self defeating because expecting defaulters to pay extra for their electricity sounds poor logic but remember shareholders are more important to the power companies than poor customers.

I sent Trish with Simon's card and told her to put a hundred pounds on it. Emily showed her the way to the shop and the old lady just coughed and looked sicker. She did manage a cup of tea and I turned up the fire, the room started to warm slightly. The girls came back and they were laughing and joking, Trish enjoyed playing Santa's little helper.

The doctor arrived and we stepped out of the room for him to examine her. He agreed she was quite poorly and admitted her to hospital. I thanked him and said I would withdraw the lawsuit, he shrugged and said she was quite ill so thanked me for getting him here.

"You're not really Lady Cameron, are you?"

I showed him my university identification badge. He shook his head how come Professor the Lady Cameron, is here, how do you know these people?"

"I know lots of people and Emily is a friend of my daughter, Trish, isn't she sweetie?" Trish nodded as I knew she would. "We just happened to meet in the supermarket and I gave Emily a lift home as her shopping was too heavy to manage by herself."

By this time Emily had put it all away in a cupboard and freezer fridge. I asked to see the telephone account and spoke to them advising reconnection immediately, I paid their bill which wasn't very large as they were scared to use it. An ambulance came and carried the old lady away and the doctor left as well.

Emily sat by the fire and burst into tears, "How can we ever repay you?"

"Take it as a Christmas present, my husband is quite wealthy and he won't miss much of it besides he fully supports my actions tonight if it got you mum hospitalised, she was clearly quite sick."

"She was but the doctor didn't want to know, I think she'd given up hope so she was preparing to die."

"Well, don't let her do that, tell her she's got to get better for Christmas."

"I will, Lady Cmeron, thank you so much for you generosity."

"What work do you do?"

"I was made redundant a year ago, I used to work in a solicitor's office."

"Well, you keep this place spotless, and I could do with some help at home."

"I'd love to pay you back a little but if I earn too much I lose my benefits."

"Go and see the CAB and see how much you can earn and of course you'll need to look out for your mum, but I'll take whatever you can offer me and I'll pay £15 an hour for what you can do."

"Wow, that's more than the solicitors paid me."

"Yeah, I've heard that they are quite mean until they send out their bills."

"Right, let's go, young lady," I said to Trish and she followed me out to my car, "Merry Christmas," I wished Emily and her mum.

"It's going to be the best we've had in years, " she smiled at me.

"You enjoyed playing Mrs Christmas, didn't you?" enquired me daughter.

"Yeah, we don't do it often enough." I answered.

"Shoulda seen the guy at the newsagents when I asked him to stick a tom on the meter key. I thought his eyebrows were going to lift off." Trish began to laugh and I joined her as I drove us home hoping the ice cream hadn't melted.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3416 by Angharad Copyright© 2023 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`
I had left a twenty pound note for her to find by the phone along with our home number, I wasn't sure if I'd ever hear from her again, not that it mattered and she did have a sick mother to look after.

The next night I received a phone call and it was from Emily. She told me her mum was on anti-virals and antibiotics and looking much better, they expected to have her for a day or two longer but now they could afford to heat the house a little, enough to keep the lounge warm and also to air the cold damp rooms. She once again thanked me for making their Christmas the best for years. I told her to think about working for me as I couldn't cope and work at the university and it wasn't fair to expect David to do much more, or Sarah, although occasionally the others chipped in and helped (sometimes because I blackmailed them, morally or otherwise) We managed but Simon kept telling me to get help. I told him I'd met a young woman who may be interested and he told me to hire her.

I rang Emily from my office, amazingly her mother's name was still in the phone book. I asked how her mother was and she told me she was just off out to catch the bus to see her. I told her to give her my regards and asked again if she was interested in working for me, I suggested we could make it as much or as little as she wanted. She told me she would ring me back.

I knew she was worried about compromising her benefits, which were already small. The Tories seemed to think paying people who were out of work or long-term sick, as a disincentive to find work. I can't fathom their logic. People need to feel well to work, they also need full stomachs and if they're cold or hungry or living in damp or fungal-damaged properties they are not going to be at their best.

I eventually managed to persuade Emily to come and visit and we'd discuss terms, I was hoping to get her on board when she saw the house and the sort of thing she'd be doing. We set a date and our footballing daughter agreed to go and collect her. Apparently, she was impressed by the house asking if we really lived there. Danni of course was in a nonchalant mood and said she was one of ten children although three or four had left to get their own places including Julie and Phoebe, Sammi, who was only there occasionally, Jacquie who was completing her course and living in Salisbury, and the rest were still in school or local university.

The visit turned into a meal invitation and she was overwhelmed by the fact that we had our own cook, I left her talking to David while I dealt with a sudden emergency that required me to go to the study and take a phone call. It was Diane reminding me she wouldn't be in tomorrow as she was Christmas shopping. I wished her luck, the traffic and crowds made me feel anything but Christmassy; do goodwill and homicide go together? Why crowds of mindless morons have to clog every shop and road with their bodies or their cars at this time of year still confuses me as they don't seem to do it other times of the year and we can't blame it on excessive heat or cold, occasionally too much festive cheer or just being awkward. I think it may be the latter, and who in their right mind takes the dog with them? Oh, I know, so the dog can choose their own present, right?

Emily was very polite and well-mannered, so much so that I desperately wanted her to work for me. I explained her duties and was prepared to employ her for up to 30 hours a week and I saw her calculating how much that was. It was £450 which was much more than she was getting for benefits. The only fly in the ointment was her mum, she didn't want to leave her. In the end, I offered to let her bring her mother with her while she was at my house, where she would be warm and visible and could bring a book to read and the extra incentive of a David-cooked lunch if he was working that day, if not she could help herself to something from the cupboard or fridge.

As I couldn't offer the crown jewels as well she took my offer. We agreed that I needed help before Christmas and I promised one of us would come and collect her and mum and take them back afterwards. Her mum was being discharged tomorrow so she would start the next day unless mum was still too ill. I counted on the older lady's curiosity to see inside our house to make her well enough for a quick snoop.

She soon got herself ensconced in a comfy armchair in the lounge while she watched her daughter and her employer plus various other young women who happen to be on holiday from school or university getting the house ready for Christmas. They all spent too much time talking to her to be very effective but I had expected that and knew that the exposure to strangers would help the old lady get better sooner and deal with her loneliness. By lunchtime Danni and Trish and the younger girls were all calling her 'gran' and she was loving it, while Emily and I organised a plan to give everything a once-over before Santa was due to visit, and deal with things like laundry. She was a good and thorough worker and I hoped she would stay for a long time.

She would go on the payroll organised by Sammi so we paid taxes and pension and all the rest. It would officially start after the holidays and I would pay her cash in hand for her help before. They both loved the lunch David made for us all and I insisted they come to dine with us on Christmas Day, Boxing Day they'd stay at home to both have a rest. I sent Danni out to get them presents as everyone who comes has one.

Emily mentioned she hadn't got a computer when she saw Trish using mine in the study, so after I spoke with Sammi she found one in good working order that we could pass on. The old lady we could get treats to eat as most enjoy that the most.

I still had the problem of finding suitable gifts for the family as we had agreed to stop doing expensive presents a few years ago. Daddy was easy, a bottle of single malt (vintage of course), The girls gave us lists, which if we bought all of it, would be very expensive but it gave me ideas for things they wanted. Julie and Phoebe, I paid their building and contents insurance and they were very happy with that. Sammi I bought her favourite eau de toilette, Simon I gave a Leatherman multi-tool. So some of it was in hand and I could go shopping knowing everything was under control and with all of the adults in the house, knew the younger girls were safe as well, so I could turn my attention to my shopping.

Shopping was a nightmare as it always is at this time of year - how can January sales start in December? Are retailers that desperate? I suppose they must be. Why is the general public so stupid? Okay, don't answer that because I know the cat has a better grasp of reality than most of them.

I got some of the presents requested on the lists, others I ignored and before I went home I got a trolley load of food and donated it to a food bank. The privilege of being rich - I don't know as I take no pleasure in seeing others suffer or know it's going on behind closed doors. How the government can sleep at night astonishes me, I just assume they fall asleep counting their money. I eventually sleep thinking that if there is a heaven or hell, the latter must be full of Tories and Republicans, or is that this world?

It was amazing to hear the reports of a teenager who was kidnapped by a mother and grandfather six or so years ago he managed to escape by walking over the Pyrenees for four days and was picked up by a delivery driver who took him to the police station. A happy story for Christmas perhaps, I can only say his mother must be mentally ill or delusional. Now he's back with his family, he has six or so years of school to catch up on, I wish him luck because without education he's going to be seriously disadvantaged.

Now back to my own teenagers and that dreadful C word perhaps I can persuade them to think they slept through it or that Santa Claus had an accident on the M27 and all his reindeer were injured. I shouldn't really pretend to be mean, I know how I suffered as a youngster by never having the Christmas I wished for or any other of my prayers answered, to wake up as a girl. The god who doesn't exist failed me; thankfully, a certain surgeon didn't and I did wake up one morning as a woman. That was magic. It wasn't the mysterious ways of a mythical being it was the kindness of a rather dishy surgeon who looks like George Clooney but with an Irish accent and his elfin assistant in the form of my sister-in-law, who is now pretty well back to normal although I know that PTSD can strike for several years after the initial trauma, but we love each other and help each other, I just don't accept lifts from her - life is too short, and with her likely to be shorter and white hairs don't really suit me at forty.

It seems that Henry and Monica may be with us at Christmas for lunch, I must warn David who is going to think he's working in a restaurant again and it won't be a turkey we'll need an ostrich and to use the dining table. At least there may be one or two good films on over the holiday, they can't all be back issues of James Bond, can they?

Oh well a week to go and everyone is getting twitchy, better get some Valium.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3417 by Angharad Copyright© 2023 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`
At last I was finished at work, well apart from the briefcase load I had to take home. I was sitting in my office de-stressing with a cuppa when Danielle came to see me. "I want to get a dormouse licence".

"Okay, do you know what's involved?"

"Yeah, I've seen you signing those silly forms for other people."

"They're not silly, they're dormouse logs from PTES which show what you've done to prove to Natural England that you have competence in assessing and handling. You will have done much of it but not at the level they require to get a licence and remember you have to persuade two licence holders to give you a reference."

"Who's the other one?"

"They may not accept me as one if they find out you're my daughter."

"I'm sure you know a couple of others to sign my form."

"As anyone I reference reflects on me I won't do it for just anyone and certainly not without knowing them and seeing them do surveys, handling all stages, knowing when not to do so. A licence is about what you can't do as well as what you can."

"Yeah, okay I'll look it up on line."

"Yes, do that oh and they expect you to have done the dormouse ecology and conservation course. The Mammal Society run one version but there are others as well. But you need to prove that you've done one. Look go and look up things on line and we'll talk about this again during the season, is that okay?"

"Yeah, it's more complicated than I thought but I'll do some research."

"Good girl, there are some books in my library, you are welcome to borrow them but please put them back after."

"I always do." She looked slightly indignant.

"I know, luvvie, just making sure you continue to do so, some are out of print now."

"I'll guard them with my life," she smirked.

"Some of them are more valuable than that," I fired at her as she left my study.

"Aw thanks, Mum."

Emily popped her head in the door, "Do you want me to clean in here?"

"Please, Just run the vacuum over and perhaps a quick dust, sorry I haven't had time to talk to you today, how' your mum?"

"Much better, she loves your girls and especially when they call her gran. She always thought I was a disappointment as I didn't give her any grandkids."

"There's still time."

"Not for me, had a radical hysterectomy and oophorectomy about eight years ago."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know, you could adopt I did."

"Yes your girls have said they were all adopted."

"Well after the first one I got addicted. I wouldn't recommend eleven."

"Eleven, wow!"

"Well, they were on special offer buy one get one free - so we did."

She laughed and I went up to the bedroom to change into jeans and a sweatshirt thinking to myself that were I still a boy that's how I would dress so why did I go through all the fuss and bother just to wear the same clothes?

They weren't the same, all the clothes I wore were designed for a female body and fitted mine quite nicely these days, and it isn't about clothes. I changed my body because I needed to, the clothes just reflect that. I also needed to be reassigned legally to female. I also wanted to have a relationship with Simon in which I could be a real wife to him and I have. Okay, I can't give him any children but I think we both agree that those we adopted couldn't be any better or more loved if we'd had them ourselves and I think they truly believe that we chose to adopt them because we loved them, which is the honest truth.

Trish burst into my bedroom. "Thanks for knocking," I said slightly telling her off.

"That's all right, you haven't got anything I haven't got and I haven't seen before." She just threw it out with great nonchalance.

"That's not the point, we should give others personal space when they are washing or changing, how do you know I didn't have a lover in here?"

"Cause he's up in London and besides he'd kill you, and your lover, and then himself."

She said it so blithely, did she not consider it was at all possible so treated it as a joke or didn't she think about it in that way? Sadly she hit the nail on the head, if Simon caught me with another man, he would likely kill himself he'd be so hurt and so would I. I have no need of anyone else and we love each other very much - at least I hope we do - or I'll take the Leatherman multi-tool back to the shop, only joking.

"What did you want anyway," I was sorting the dirty clothes out.

"Can I get a dormouse licence sometime?"

"Why?"

"Cause I think it would be good."

"Been talking to Danni have you?"

"Sorta," Why did we spend all that money on a private school?

"Well, go and see what she's found and see what's required then come to me when the season is here and we'll talk then, okay?"

"Yeah, s'pose so."

"How's the master's going?" She had finished her bachelor's degree and was into a master's in order to keep her here a bit longer.

"Oh, I finished that, got a distinction. Thinking about a PhD next, then Cambridge."

"Okay, well done, I didn't know."

"No biggie," she shrugged and left me holding my dirty lingerie.
Does she not value these things because she finds them so easy? I feel her destiny is to go to Cambridge but I don't think she's ready socially or personally mature enough to survive by herself. The fact that she is very clever doesn't stop her being exploited for her naïveté. She is a good-natured girl and doesn't expect people to take advantage of her as nearly happened a while ago when Danni and I managed to stop the paedophile type who was trying to entrap her. Cambridge is a big place with lots of students and teachers and although most are probably ordinary decent folk, there will be a percentage of nasties amongst them. I hope if I can keep her here a year or two longer, she will grow up enough to spot them coming and deal with them like other girls do when they mature.

I sorted my laundry, washed any delicates by hand and put the rest on a 'delicates' cycle after checking any of the others that they didn't have any to do. Of course, I ended up with a pile didn't I? Ask a silly question.

I kept busy for the rest of the day just catching up on chores and I encouraged the older girls to do theirs. Sarah is very good but I don't expect her to do it all and the others get an allowance from Simon and I know one word from me and it would be suspended. I admit I do make some empty threats, but the ones regarding their allowance tends to get their attention and stimulate action. They don't know how lucky they are living in a wealthy family in a relatively safe country, which I suspect most of the population of Gaza or Ukraine would swap in a heartbeat.

I stopped what I was doing and sent off some money to Medecins sans Frontières. They don't take sides and help all they can. It didn't stop me feeling guilty for the relatively easy life I had but it may help some less fortunate than I am. I know the bank send them some every year but they never have enough and the doctors and other health professionals give their time for free.

It was now the Saturday before Christmas and Simon arrived mid-afternoon, he earns loads dosh but he also works incredibly hard for it so does his dad and so does mine, the adopted one. He had been into the office this morning because he fed the dormice - which should be hibernating, but it has been relatively mild and there is always the odd one who is still awake, I know, reading their Kindle, but seriously we have to keep a check on them. If you remember it was going to check them over a Christmas period when I found Julie and I thank the gods that I did because she matured into a wonderful young woman. I'll be seeing her tomorrow, she's coming with Phoebe for Christmas dinner - which will be at lunchtime, I notice David has already started to prepare for it. I recall the old days when I did all the heavy lifting and I'm so glad he's here to take care of it now and he actually does a better job as well.

So after eating a delicious dinner of salmon and broccoli quiche and duchess potatoes with salad and Danni agreed to collect Emily and her mum for dinner, Simon and I repaired to bed amidst a background of sniggering from the younger quarter. Simon threatened to look at certain allowances and it stopped immediately but began again as we were ascending the stairs. He turned to go back and berate them and I managed to persuade him I needed him more than they did, I mentioned that I had an itch that needed scratching. His attention immediately switched but as we entered the bedroom he asked me if my itch was contagious. I told him if it was he was to blame unless it was my chastity belt which had him guffawing as he shut the door.

Needless to say, we satisfied our needs to share our love with each other and made love in a slow and gentle way which surprised both of us because we had both felt an animal lust building as the day went on but we realised that my remodelled organs had caused me trouble before under a violent lovemaking. I was just so pleased to feel his love for me and to feel his strength and security in his arms. We both drifted off to sleep much later than we usually did but the feeling of contentment was all consuming and I admit to shedding a tear.

"What are you crying for?" he enquired when he noticed I was weeping.

"It's silly buy it's because I feel so lucky to be surrounded by all the love in this house and to know I want for nothing."

"We do have a few blessings to count," he confessed and admitted to making a similar donation to mine before he left his office. I admitted to doing the same. I'm not sure if there is any merit in suffering, except for your art and we do seem to be living in a period when the forces of evil are rampaging across the world. It seems the more venal you are the more you prosper but one of these days the pendulum will swing and those beasts will pay for their crimes and the ordinary people will see that the only way to achieve civilisation is through the democratic process not by persecuting those who can't respond by virtue of being too small a number or being too weak or poor. One day, things will be better for those less fortunate but we must never stop trying to show up the corrupt and the cheats and liars who seem to make up the rightwing of the political systems, who lie and misrepresent themselves and the people they are supposed to serve. I recall the words of Jack Kennedy who if you recall reminded us all that we should ask not what my country can do for me but what I can do for my country. If our current lot asked that simple question of themselves, they would be found signally lacking."

I kissed him and told him I loved him and we each wished the other a Merry Christmas and fell asleep in each others' arms.

< center>I wish you all a peaceful and fulfilling Christmas.
Angharad and two delinquent kittens.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3418 by Angharad Copyright© 2023 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`

After a frantic last-minute dash around the shops to get bits that David had forgotten to order, like sprouts. Nobody except Daddy actually likes them or admits to it and after eating them he retires to his study so he can fart in peace. I did suggest a scented candle but then thought of the explosive qualities of methane and then changed my mind.

The decorations and cards were up and the tree was looking very pretty but only as long as we remembered to water it. It is a live one with roots and in the warmth of the lounge, especially with the fire lit, it needs a couple of gallons a day to keep it going. I suspect it enjoys the fuss we make of it but I have no proof. They can measure all sorts of things and listen to sap rising or falling. I know someone from the Open University got a PhD for the results they published. We tend to forget that trees are living organisms as well as us and that it has been proven that they communicate with each other sometimes using chemical messengers or things like fungal networks. It has even been postulated that the mycelia of woodland fungi constitute the world's largest living organism because we now know that most of the trees will be plugged into the fungal network. in fact, many of the higher plants won't germinate or grow without the fungi round the root tips as they probe into the soil. The fungi complement the bacteria in the same area and include acting as destructivores to deal with breaking down old vegetation or animal material.

Biology is fascinating as we are discovering new things every day, from gut bacteria being important to mental health, to realising that planets that have water will have carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, so now they can probe with spectrometers for that. It may also be that such planets may have life forms on them. I nearly did astrobiology, but my then dad suggested I already had my head in the clouds and was star-struck enough with dormice. I began to get interested in them at Sussex but it took off at Pompey. Once I was employed by Prof Agnew I managed to wangle a weekend on the Isle of Wight, where they seem to have loads of them. I never looked back.

Right back to Christmas, all the halls had been decked with holly or words to that effect, with mistletoe in appropriate places for those with romantic or lustful urges. Before I got a headache I made Trish stop the Christmas tree lights flashing and just to leave them on, thus lighting the tree. She was proving she knew enough electronics to make it happen. I proved I had enough authority to make it unhappen.

The youngsters played happily under the care of Sarah who loves children and she took on the chore willingly. The important thing was keeping them occupied and from under our feet.

Christmas morning began with all the kids being excited from early on. I noticed real deer slots in the lawn near the back door and Sarah and Danni ran with my observation of the deer slots to show that Father Christmas and his reindeer had visited. They all came in covered in mud and two of them fell in it. Great start, next time I'll wait till summer, the mud will be warmer.

David had been up early to put the turkey in a low oven. I'm sure it was an ostrich and would require a crane or at least an A-Frame to lower it into the oven. we also had roast beef and a ham joint; for vegetarians we had veggie sausages and veggie gravy. After breakfast the kids were allowed to get their presents provided they ate a reasonable amount, chocolate not counting. I remember as a kid once eating half a box of Kitkats by mid-morning, and couldn't think why I didn't want any dinner.

Everyone enjoyed their presents and I liked, no loved the diamond stud ear rings that Simon gave me and he smiled when I gave him the Leatherman multi-tool. He threatened to use it to take Bramble's batteries out because she flew up the stairs as he was going up and he nearly fell. I thought it unlikely as long as he was sober, but the kids gave him so much grief, they love the cat, that he said he was only joking.

It was all hands to the pumps, no vegetables, that sounds better and everyone who could peel a spud was engaged to do some, also carrots, cauliflower, sprouts, mushrooms, broccoli and anything David had bought. I wondered who liked parsnips and decided I would invent a virus to eliminate them from Earth. I hate the bloody things.

First visitors were Jules and Phebes who came to help, mainly by eating mince pies and drinking tea, then we had Cindy and her mother who were on the way to see relatives but called by to deliver some chocs for the little ones. Then I sent Danni to collect Emily and her mum and while she was out our favourite shrink appeared with her now toddler, also called Emily. I slunk off to my study and had a cuppa, I was getting too old for this and despite the dishwasher, I worried about how much would be over in terms of dirties, when we'd all eaten. Then Maureen arrived, I'd forgotten I'd invited her. Trish kept David supplied with tea and complained when she discovered he only drank half of them and you can't warm them in a microwave because it makes the milk taste funny.

Julie and Mo renewed their acquaintance; they hadn't seen each other for ages. They laughed and joked as they remembered how they'd first met and how Maureen had mended Julie's MP3 player. In those days Maureen was a bit rough looking and Julie was afraid that being seen in her company would make others think that she was also a trannie, then she and Trish recalled how both thought the other was a bio female and gasped as they realised they weren't. It was when we first had Julie stay with us, and I recalled how my berating her for her laziness caused her to run off and hang herself. I found her just in time and we managed to revive her - the others mentioned the blue light and that I brought her back from the dead. which I doubted, though when Meems was hit by the young man falling into the pool, she had actually stopped breathing and my grief and anxiety caused the blue light to start her living again, I remember calling on the goddess to save her. On other occasions I managed to save the odd child at the QA and also I got Henry's life force to re-enter his body and also drew out some bullets from him as he lay in a hospital bed.

I hadn't used the healing light for some time nor had I called on the goddess to save someone's life. I slipped away to my study and shut the door. Then I sat quietly and tried to visualise the Golden Lady. After about ten minutes I heard her voice in my head demanding to know why I had summoned her, I told her that I wanted to say thank you for all the times her wisdom and powers had saved someone that I loved and I apologised for not showing enough gratitude for her interventions. She softened the voice that sounded in my head and told me that it was typical of humans to forget her when things were going well but to remember only when they weren't. She also told me that one day I would realise why things that happened had been used to show me what my purpose was to which I still pleaded ignorance. She told me, "One day you will know." She also told me that I still had the healing power and so did my daughters and their friend Cindy, but to use it wisely.

I thanked her again for saving Meems and Henry and she smiled and departed passing her blessings on me and mine. My dreamlike musings on the goddess were, however, disturbed when Trish and Meems came crashing into my study asking if I had seen the Golden Lady as she had appeared to them in the house as they had been talking to Cindy and she had seen her too. This time, instead of trying to deny or rationalise it away I just told them they were privileged to see her and not to tell anyone else because only her 'servants' could see her and in doing so she refreshed their special abilities to help others in dire straits. I also reminded them that only females could see her so to believe in her and themselves as deserving of her help.

They all were boosted by their experience and my explanation that they all had the essence of her in them and to call upon her guidance when they felt it was necessary and to follow the direction she gave them.

Trish, of course, said did that mean she could now have babies and I had to explain it didn't mean that, but they would have a new confidence in being female and that no one would ever question it. "They don't anyway," she replied and I told her, "But you do, and that won't happen again."

They all traipsed off back to the melee that my house was becoming and I shut the door of my study and once again thanked her Ladyship on behalf of my children even if they didn't quite understand or appreciate themselves, and I received a reply congratulating me for, 'taking the mote out of my own eye,' and her laughter resounding all through me. I suppose she had a point.

While everything was in preparation but under control, Daddy and I nipped out the back door in our waterproof coats, with Kiki, and I grabbed the flowers from my bike workshop and we walked up to the cemetery and presented them to the grave in which our late loved ones were interred. He stood and silently conferred with them and then called me to his side and we offered our greetings to them and I thought for a moment that I saw Billie, but it was only fleeting but the impression I got was one of happiness that we had remembered them during a time when all sorts of distractions were happening.

We said our goodbyes and walked back to our Christmas celebrations and I had a feeling that this year had been special and I said to Daddy, "This has been one of the best Christmases ever."

He looked at me and said, "Aye, sae ye feel it tae?" I nodded and thought previous Christmases were always filled with the mundanities of purely physical elements, worrying about gifts or food or whatever, this time for some reason there was something else. Now if that had been my evocation of the goddess or not I didn't know, but if it had been how did he sense it, as only women can? I puzzled over this as we strolled home and then he said, "There is something different about you, I don't know what but I think you have a sense of serenity about you, as if you have reconciled something that you couldn't before."

I smiled at him as we went back into the house and realised that he was a very sensitive man, why I'd never seen it before, I don't know. "You're quite right, Daddy, I sense a reconciliation with someone that has taken a little while." He smiled at me and the laughter of the goddess rang in my head. It was a good Christmas, yeah the best.

May 2024 be one of peace, prosperity and happiness,
I wish you all a Happy New Year.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3419 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`

After the euphoria of my epiphany at Christmas - see, going to university teaches you big words, however, they don't teach you what they mean - that's in the second part of the course, my life got back to normal very quickly. I was back in my office, Emily was looking after my home and two little ones, while the slightly bigger ones enjoyed chatting with her mother who, as I said before, revelled in the title of 'Gran'. David had a couple of days off and I phoned and asked Danni and co to strip half the beds and wash the bed-linen and for the rest to start taking down the decorations and putting the tree back out into the garden.

Diane and I had completed the books that we needed to deal with the auditors the next day. I knew that they were alright because I caught Simon in a vulnerable and romantic mood. I can see it now, I lay on the bed and asked, "Si could you do something for me?" I was fluttering my eyelids at him and when he replied, 'Anything' I asked him to check my books. His face was a picture but he did them and I rewarded him after - I gave him a mince pie - if you believe that I happen to have a bridge you may want to buy. No, he had his wicked way, which I was well up for and we both enjoyed ourselves for a couple of hours making slow but passionate love and none of the girls said anything when we came down. It was like waiting for the other shoe to drop but they said nothing until the next day when their dad had to return to the office as Henry was away for a few days in France, apparently Monica had bought a chateau, like you do. He insisted on seeing it before he allowed her to spend the cash, so that's where he was, moaning about having taken years to get rid of one castle only to find they had another. I don't know what he's moaning about, Simon and I are still stuck with the original one.

For once it wasn't raining and Diane said she wanted something she had seen in the sales so disappeared for a long lunch, so after getting a tuna salad multigrain roll, I decided to take a walk in the park near the university. I had a flask of tea with me and a packet of crisps, plus a mince pie ( a David original) for my dessert. My just desserts ran through my mind and earlier when Diane had asked how I'd got Simon to spend some of his holiday checking my books. I had to chuckle.

I looked about the park and it seemed amazingly devoid of people, which suited me perfectly. I selected a bench and seated myself to enjoy my repast. I had just put my bag beside me, and with a roll in a bag on my lap, I looked up to see a toddler stumbling about the park in front of me. As I opened my roll, preparing to bite into its delicious contents, I scanned the area for a parent. I couldn't see one anywhere. Red lights began to flash in my mind, toddlers don't just slip off to the park, do they? Oh, shit and just as I was about deal with my favourite piscatorial food item. I put it down refolding the bag and stood. I scanned again, there was no pursuing mother. Something was wrong - very wrong. I started running towards the little one, who was now starting to call for her mother.

I caught up with her and asked her where Mummy was, that was about as useful as asking Bramble. The tears came heavier now and she cwtched into my shoulder as I cuddled her into me to try and comfort her and keep her warm. It was relatively mild but children lose disproportionately large amounts of heat, see I told you university was good for ya. I began calling for her mother and trying to remember which direction she had come from and also to grab my bag, it would be bad enough if someone pinched my lunch, but my hand bag. Well, you know what we carry in them.

I was now running down the path towards, I hoped would be her mother. I could see no one. I stopped, turned back to where my tuna roll was waiting and ran back there. Put junior on my lap, cuddled her into me and picked up my phone.

"Hello, police please, it's an emergency. Yes, I understand just get them here fast. Oh yes, I'm professor Cathy Watts, I'm in Victoria Park by the university and I have found a little girl toddler but I can't find her mother. Yes, I'll wait here, please hurry as she's getting a little cold." I informed the child, " Why run about in circles when the experts can do it instead and save my energy." I undid my coat and wrapped it around both of us. "Are you hungry little one?" I asked taking a surreptitious sniff to make sure she didn't leave my coat smelling of 'used toddler'. She seemed clean, at the moment.

We waited, me trying to remember nursery rhymes and singing them to her, trying to stop her feeling anxious. All I needed was a sobbing tot to make my lunch time a disaster. Finally, I heard sirens and a car pulled into the park and I waved to them.

I explained I had found her wandering, looked briefly for her mum then called them. A woman police officer came and sat next to me while her colleague started running in the direction I told him I thought she had come. Moments later there were other sirens and other police cars entered the park and the cops inside began fanning out to search for the mother.

Eventually, the woman cop suggested we go to the central police station. She was still looking at me suspiciously. I felt compelled to try and allay her suspicions. "Look I did find her just wandering. I haven't snatched her or anything, the last thing I need is another child, I have a houseful at home."

"You're not the woman who turns boys into girls are you?" the copper asked of me.

"I'm not a surgeon or a magician so I don't think us ordinary mortals can do that, besides I'm not sure what you are implying." She still viewed me suspiciously as we walked toward the car. I had my roll and flask in a shopping bag but she didn't attempt to take the child from me. I sat in the back seat, wrapped a seat belt around me and held on tight to the little un and hoped we didn't have an accident.

When we got to the police station another police officer tried to take the child but she clung on to me and screamed. I managed to calm her down and we sat at a desk with a more senior officer. I told my story then suggested we get some warm milk for Topsy. Someone came in with a mug of warm milk, I put it down on the table and looked at it and then the child. "Oh we haven't got a feeding bottle, best we could do." No wonder they can't catch criminals they don't have as much sense as the baby I had in my arms.

I requested a towel, and wrapped it around the infant and tried to get some milk in her rather than down her clothes. She gobbled it greedily, she was obviously due a feed. "You seem to know your way round babies," said the inspector or whatever she was.

"I have some of my own so had some practice, but prefer to give them back now, too much like hard work but teens and early twenties are not much different, just slightly more articulate." She looked oddly at me until I explained I worked at the university. If she had smiled I think her face would have cracked.

The youngster fell asleep in my arms and I considered I wasn't going to get my lunch for a while. They asked me my story again and I related what has happened, interrupting it to ask hadn't they found the mother yet?

"You expected us to did you? Where you left her body?"

"Hang on, I only held on to her while I sent for you lot, except you couldn't find pee in a pot. I was trying to stop this one coming to harm until the mother could be found or the authorities involved."

"So you don't want this one then, she's already a girl?"

"I am not sure what you are inferring, but if it doesn't stop, my lawyers will take half your salaries again."

"Who do think you are?"

"I know who I am, it's you and your ilk that concern me; where is the mother or social services. I have a university department to run and because of my concern for this child, I haven't had my lunch yet and if my blood sugar drops I tend to get litigious."

"We've found the mother," she said after the phone rang, "she's in a bad way, she's been attacked and dumped behind a tree. We'll need to examine your clothing for any signs of assault."

"Oh sure, I got fed up and beat her with my tuna roll," I offered sarcastically.

"Is that a confession?"

"Look, I want my lawyer and I warn you that when he has finished you could be selling your house to pay your costs." They allowed me to call Jason, he was at the office and would be with me within the hour. The copper then removed herself and one with even more tinfoil on his epaulettes replaced her. He asked me what happened once again. I told him that this was the last time I would tell them, as I had done so half a dozen times, he told me they needed my coat for forensic tests. I indicated the sleeping toddler and told him he would be responsible if she woke up crying and also to be rather careful with my coat as it cost nearly a thousand pounds and I would sue if it were damaged, beside I hadn't seen her mum, let alone assaulted her.

Finally, Social Services arrived and took the baby and moments later Jason came and asked me what I'd done now. I pointed out that I wasn't a juvenile delinquent, but a senior member of the university faculty and also going to be paying his bill. So he'd better start earning it. We were left alone after that and I finally got my rather soggy tuna salad roll. I described the suspicious nature of the police when I was trying to help them and the child; he began to see why I wasn't my usual cheerful self and started laying down the law including telling them that we would sue if they damaged my coat. I bought that in Harvey Nicks in Kensington.

"My mother used to shop there," he told me, which made me feel tons better, I don't think. I told him I didn't like the ones in Harrods, it was a fib because I hadn't shopped in Harrods as I didn't want to rub shoulders with rich Arabs who are rather poor on manners and very misogynistic. I know that I shouldn't generalise but most I have met were a cross between a sand fly and a camel, their manners came from the camel and being an Old Etonian didn't help much, I mean look at Boris, I rest my case.

Eventually, the police sent me home, but I couldn't get them to drive me back to the university. I told them loudly that I wouldn't be buying any more tickets for the policeman's ball. They protested they didn't hold dances since Covid and I told them this was raffle, but only if they found a copper with one. I also told them I expected them to return my coat in the same condition in which they took it. They did give me a receipt. I was miffed that I had to use a cab to get back to work, and it felt cold without my coat. At least in my car I had my old Barbour waxed coat which was quite warm but only stylish amongst bird watchers or dormouse wrestlers, and let's face it what's the point of being a female aristo if one can't be stylish and flaunt one's wealth? I laughed at myself and shared the joke with Diane who related that I didn't flaunt my wealth except at university council meetings. I chased her out of my office.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3420 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`

I phoned Simon and told him what had happened and at least he understood that i couldn't leave a toddler on her own in a park, he also realised that I hadn't attacked the mother so why couldn't the police? No wonder the post office scandal was happening we had no standards of any sort. It seems from reading the paper, the Guardian of course, the number of times the government were told that something wrong was happening but they just ignored it because, it was going to cost money, it was going to damage their reputation - ha that's a laugh, or they couldn't get votes or money out of it.

I came home in my Barbour as the plod still had my nice winter coat. They would find signs of the toddler because she had been cuddled into me for an hour or more, so that could leave fibres from the mother's clothing as I presume she cuddled her little girl as I would have. I related this to Jason who informed the police as a precaution to them arresting me over a couple of fibres, especially as I had no idea what the mother was wearing when she was attacked. I suggested sending flowers to her in hospital but Jason said that it could be seen as an indication of guilt and I would only plead guilty to caring about a loose toddler with no apparent parental unit about.

It transpired that the mother had been sexually assaulted so I assumed that cleared me from suspicion but then I thought that they know I'm originally transgender, and of course, according to scandal sheets like the Daily Wail and the Torygraph, we are all dangerous sex offenders and if not public enemy number one, at least public enemy 1.5 or thereabouts. Why doesn't everyone know that being transgender isn't something we can help, we are born with it, why is open to speculation, and also why some people take decades to do anything about it, while others like me, do something as soon as it's possible. It doesn't explain why it's so prevalent nowadays or why the Republicans in America and the Tories over here, seem to need to persecute us, I suppose it's because we are such a small minority and a good distraction from real issues like war in the Gulf or the cost of living crisis.

It's also used to rally support from the Christian right, you know those who hate women, stopped abortions, hate blacks and coloureds, gays and everybody who isn't like them. If Jesus were here now he'd be executed by such Christians as he wasn't one of them, he'd also be mortified, suggesting it wasn't supposed to be like this. Personally, I don't believe in a supernatural, okay, the goddess thing is something I'm dealing with, but the 'Son of God' thing seems a load of nonsense and added well after he had died. I also think worshipping a man also turns me off the whole idea of religion, which was why he became a god, elevated by his followers to stop that happening and remember the public were just as ignorant as they are now, except some can read and write these days.

I contacted Sergeant Andy Bond to enquire how the mother was and had they found the man that attacked her. He couldn't tell me much except she was stable but very ill. He couldn't tell me anything about the little girl as she was now in the care of Social Services. I reminded him that I had something of a history with them but he told me that they weren't seriously considering me as anything but a do-gooder with a litigious lawyer. I also asked about my coat and how long they would have it.

I was in my office drinking tea and fuming, how could anyone think I was anything other than concerned for the child? Did they really think I wanted another one, surely ten or eleven is enough?

Diane kept me busy and our meeting with the accounts department went our way simply because Simon has a degree in economics and one in accountancy, so knows his way around a spreadsheet. He also briefed me about the meeting, I was amazed that I remembered most of it considering my adventure in the park the day before.

The meeting concluded with Diane and I dancing round my desk once the Taliban had gone; we still had our budget and just needed to keep our numbers of students up, she had the nerve to say, looks like it's time to do another film, we need the publicity, "Are kittens wild in this country?"

"Only wildcats, up in Scotland."

"Well, their kittens should look cuddly enough to get lots of girls applying to want to find them and cuddle them just like you do."

"I've got news for you, I have never seen a wild cat, let alone cuddled its kittens."

"Just cuddlesome tabby kittens, they look the same don't they?"

"That would be fraud and sink what's left of my reputation, remember helping the police with their enquiries?"

"You could have been helping them with anything, looking for a lost dormouse, telling them what to put in their bird feeders, how to reduce their carbon footprint, anything."

My phone peeped indicating a text from other than my family, we have a special one that Sammi organised for us. I looked and it was from the police telling me I could collect my coat. I hit the roof again, they took it they should return it. I phoned them and told them so, also that I would examining it closely to make sure their forensics people hadn't damaged it. Mid afternoon, Andy Bond came by with it and told me my petulance wasn't helping my cause. That lit the blue touch paper and I was off on one again. 'Petulant'? I'll give them 'petulant', and while he was still in my office I began looking at the coat with a hand-lens, checking for damage.

He coughed and I told him in no uncertain terms that anything could have happened to that tot, all I did was to call the authorities and look what that did. He looked uncomfortable for a moment and tried to pacify me and I told him next time I'd let the child wander until it met a mishap or someone else rescued it.

"I can't believe you're saying that."

"Well, I'm just pissed off by the police; even when I'm trying to do the right thing, so if I do the wrong thing perhaps they'll leave me alone."

"Cathy, you are one of the nicest people I know, you've taught me so much about so many things including about transgender people. I know you could no more ignore someone in need, than I could, especially a small child. So don't change, okay we get things wrong, but you know when something happens we're trying to process what has actually happened and sort the facts from the fiction and other people's stories which may or may not be true. Look, I know you wouldn't hurt a fly let alone a child, but they had to check you out just as you would someone claiming a scientific proof. I'm sorry that you felt violated by us, it wasn't intentional."

"Well, perhaps you could have some charm lessons, the way that two or three of you plod said things with innuendo of me turning boys into girls, I haven't done that to any of mine, as you know, unless they wanted to be girls and then I have facilitated their opportunity to do so, as long as at least one expert in paediatric mental health tells me to continue. Also, I didn't go out to adopt lots of children they told me they wanted me to be their mother because they had had such poor experiences of motherhood."

"There are plenty of those about, the numbers of poor parents are multiplying exponentially. We see them or the consequences everyday."

"I can't save them all, just those who come to me for one reason or another."

"I know you can't and this government doesn't seem to care unless it reflects well on them; how can it, they caused half of it with their stupid policies so a few over- privileged types can make even more money."

"Not all of us over-privileged types, want to make things worse for the poor or unfortunate, but I am concerned for the tot I found in the park, to make sure she is not disadvantaged by this episode nor her mother. Have you got the bloke yet?"

"Rumours of an arrest are flying around the office - they know who it is from the DNA, he's known to us, previous for sex-assaults. They'll get him and when they do they won't be gentle either."

"If you think I can help her or her mum, let me know."

"I will, Cathy, right off to save the world, must go, bye." He was off back to his very difficult job and I could get back to mine, equally difficult at times but in a different way.

"Boss, Henry's slipped and broken his hip."

"Oh, great, just what I needed."

"We need someone to cover his lecture, it's too short notice to cancel."

"What is it?"

"Evolutionary adaptation in aquatic wildlife."

"Not sure I know enough about that to cover."

"I'll bet you could, you've told me lots about your pond dipping days and there's no one else free tomorrow."

"You could cancel for that."

"Yeah, but I want them to see how it should be done for once on this course, so I'm calling up the expert."

"Oh yeah, who's that then?"

"You are, now get sorting what slides you need, John is coming up with what Henry was going to use, I'm sure he's got a few extra slides up his jumper for you to use seeing as they tell me you made lots of them yourself."

"Get me a roll for lunch will you and be prepared to make some tea when John gets here, I've never seen anyone drink it as much as he does."

"Oh, I think I know someone, " she said dashing out the door and I felt incriminated again. How come that happens to me all the time? No wonder the police tried to implicate me in Jack the Ripper's murders, only I was too young and hadn't lived in London.

John came up and as Diane wasn't back from the refectory with my roll, I sent him to make two cups, he and I, then we got down to reviewing the slides I would use. It so happens I had been looking at the development of respiration in aquatic invertebrates, tracheal gills, spiracles, apneustic (no functioning spiracles) it's the holes that insects use to breathe, normally two rows, one each side of their abdomens. In aquatic insects obviously they have to get round having holes in their bodies especially in the larval stage which may be entirely aquatic. There are all sorts of ways they get around things and some only appear after moults, though in one insect in New Zealand, it actually exits the water, moults and then goes back to the water, sounds like me getting out of bed to pee.

Some of the air hole or spiracles aren't functional, they all breathe somewhat through their skin or gaseous exchange takes place to us scientists, some have water resistant hairs which cover them, some have siphons to the water's surface and breathe atmospheric air, like some hoverfly larvae do and also things like mosquitoes float on the water's surface to breathe, usually in a pupal form, that's before they start biting us. Actually, as larvae they filter feed like many dipterans do (fly larvae) and help to clean the water. They are also food for fish and predatory invertebrates - yeah, okay I know a bit about it, enough to keep some first years busy, so maybe Diane was right - as always - bloody women - whoops, I'm one too.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3421 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`

"So the plastron acts like an air tank for those insects that use them and we know enough about them, to learn that the insects even seem to know about the angle of contact when piercing the water surface, a high angle means that they don't get the body wet whereas a low body angle does wet them more. Now I know of no insect who took geometry lessons, but they seem to know instinctively, in the same way that Dytiscus the genera of diving beetles when it wants a refill of air which is stored under the elytra or wing cases, so the spiracles used are posterior ones and the beetle rises up tail-first, stocks up its plastron or aqualung and is good to go again, and because the plastron acts like a gill, in allowing the exchange of gases, we term it an external gill."

I viewed all the astonished faces, I had shown them slides of plastrons in different taxa, gills in species of Ephemeroptera, some of which are covered over others on display, How in caddis larvae, the gills don't help them breathe directly, they are waved in an undulating fashion and increase the throughput of water through the case, thereby enabling the caddis to access more oxygen from the water.
I hoped I had engaged them enough to show that mere bugs were actually quite complex animal forms, most of which were actually well adapted to their environment. I had slides that I had prepared showing the plastrons, or the special development of the cuticle to carry all the vascular tubes in the walls of some insect larvae. I pointed out that virtually all aquatic insects had returned to the water having lived a terrestrial existence at one time, and that another adaptation was the different generations by having larvae and perhaps pupae too, and terrestrial adults meant that they weren't in competition for food sources. As an aside I mentioned that greater horseshoe bats also ate in different areas than the young, once the latter were weaned and hunting for themselves, so again there is reduced competition for food. Evolution is brilliant when it works but it also creates dead ends, and we have seen in fossil remains where either the animal or plant became too specialised and were unable to adapt to habitat change and thus became extinct. I gave them the concept that man was destroying the very planet he depended on by showing a cartoon of a man sitting on a branch, quite high up a tree and sawing it off close to the trunk, with the caption, 'But I need the firewood.'

One of the technicians has been breeding some aquatic insects in aerated tanks, some of which have a stream of water running through them. We have post-grad students doing experiments on them and one or two of the teaching staff like to keep their hands in. We do release a few into a pond in the park, but sadly many will be science fodder, I hope all that perish will help us learn something about them or their lifestyle which will enable us to help them, as a species, to survive the global warming that is happening which will affect aquatic animals perhaps extensively as water holes and rivers dry up in droughts or get washed out by torrential rains.

Then again, while trying to relate the dangers of global warming, I also try to point out that the Ephemeroptera or mayflies evolved somewhere in the Carboniferous, so did the Odonata or dragonflies, so they have survived several environment changes over the millennia, humans may not be as well adapted, we'll see. Several climate experts are saying we are already above where we need to be to manage 1.5 degrees Celsius, which was regarded as the last safe rise. So who knows what will eventually happen, but those who are making political capital out of migration, and are total humbugs, will have a shock when migration rises ten or twenty fold as the planet becomes unable to sustain them or their animals or crops. The UK may be tolerable as temperatures rise, but those who have purchased homes built on flood plains may well regret it. Like everything in this country, the people doing things for government couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery.

I got the technician to demonstrate his freshwater kingdom. so some students could actually see some of the animals I had talked about living and showing how they lived to some curious humans.

I was asked about the government allowing the use of a neonicotinoid which kills bees and which was banned in 2018 for use in sugar beet growing despite the beet farmers promising to stop its use by 2023. I was horrified and would like to see such chemicals banned for all time, unless they exterminate politicians, the real pests. This led to a quick discussion on the UK government failing to improve the environment in any of its promises to do so. My students had a very poor opinion of politicians and threatened not to vote. I told them if they vote they can feel they tried to change things, if they don't then the rotten politicians win. I always vote because people died to enable me to do so, and by not doing so, I would be disrespecting the suffragettes who fought so hard to enfranchise women.

Someone asked me personally, if I'd changed sex and women didn't have the vote, would I have lost mine? It seemed they knew of my changeover. I replied by telling them if simple human rights like universal adult suffrage weren't available, then probably the right to change gender wouldn't be either - a chilling thought, though things like this only happen in banana republics like the United States under Republican rule.

I came away feeling that I had done what I needed to in covering for a colleague and thought I could probably do it again if necessary, though we really need to do a field trip to see the animals in their own environment, not a mock up of one run by lab technicians.

Sorry, it's shorter than recent efforts but I was out all day geologising at an AGM, it was a good day with some interesting speakers and very nice buffet lunch of which I ate too much. Since my return I have been engaged in unarmed combat with two killer kittens.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3422 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`
It seemed I no sooner went to bed than I was back in the office again, early this time because I was teaching and I had to do some letters for Diane to deal with. She arrived as I was dictating letters on my dictaphone thing. "Crikey, you're early," she gasped collecting my mug off my desk.

"I'm teaching Henry's class so I thought I'd better revise some of what I'm going to be saying. Thankfully John, is one of the better techies and we've got lots of slides of various insects."

"What microscope slides?"

"No, some were taken through a microscope, but only a low power one. We have one we can plug into the projector system, but we already have the micrographs of some of the smaller ones and showing things like gills on mayfly larvae. It may keep them awake. I have one of a plastron, which I talked to them about yesterday. So I don't know whether they'll get the idea or not."

"What's a plastron or shouldn't I ask?"

"It's like a physical gill made of very dense hairs which carries a bubble of air in it and helps insects to stay underwater for longer. In one of the bugs Aphelocheirus it can stay underwater for days.

"Bugs, yuck, you can keep those, I'll stick with my letters, I presume that's what you are doing?"

"Yep, have to keep you occupied. I've done ten so far."

"Wow, I'm impressed, you must have come in very early."

"Shall we say, I enjoyed myself teaching, expanding minds and corrupting them, it reminded me of what we're here for."

"When are you taking them pond dipping so you can be an adolescent again?"

"When it's a bit warmer and drier, beside this wind could blow the hairs off your legs, save you shaving them, properly this time."

"Hark who's talking, Mrs Neanderthal."

"There are two cakes in the kitchen, when you make some tea, help yourself to one."

"Now you're talking," she went off to make tea. By the time she got back I had dictated three more letters and did another two, drinking my tea and eating my Chelsea bun. Then it was looking over what I was teaching in an hour's time.

Goodness, it went quickly and before I knew it I was nodding to John who was running the cyber stuff for me, it's better than me trying to click the remote button and John actually knows some of this biology as well, so a good accomplice to have with me.

The students arrived and seated themselves around the lecture theatre. When they had settled down I nodded to John and we put up the first slide with the magnified plastron. One or two were still awake or good at guessing because they almost knew what it was.

I showed them a diagram from Chapman's book showing how plastrons worked and some insects have a macroplastron with longer hairs over the normal one, also they could erect the hairs of the plastron to hold more air. And some insects have special combs on their legs to keep the plastron tidy to make sure it works. It was at this point that we had an outbreak of silliness.

The slide and diagram I showed were of a beetle called Elmis - can you see what's coming? Of course I mentioned this and got the quip, "Oh, prof, everybody know Elvis wasn't one of the Beatles." I hadn't seen it coming and there was uproar for several minutes before I could get them to calm down again.

I then was asked if a Beatle cut was a sort of plastron? That set them off again and once more I tried to restore order, but as soon as we had Elmis, a beetle about 4mm long, or mention of a beetle, they were all off again. I knew that anything I said was going to be ignored so I soldiered on with a few more slides and then set them a chapter to read on aquatic insect respiration before finishing twenty minutes early and having a coffee with John.

Neither of us had foreseen the Elvis and the Beatles joke coming and we laughed heartily at the humour of it. So they may remember the genera of one native beetle for the wrong reasons, but they may just realise what a plastron is, and it isn't a Beatle cut.

I had a call from Andy Bond who told me informally that they had made an arrest for the attack on the young woman in the park, the one with the toddler daughter, and a suspect was in custody and bail had been refused. "Well, are you going to tell me who or is it top secret?"

"The suspect's name is Vince Donkin, though I didn't tell you that, though it'll be in the papers tonight, they found enough DNA on her to fill a tea cup, and all of it was his. There is no way he'll get off this time, for which the people of Portsmouth will be celebrating. He's been implicated in about three serious sexual assaults, but because they didn't collect the evidence properly, his lawyer got him off. He won't be able to walk from this one, there's enough forensic evidence to wrap him up like a Christmas present."

"Good, when it works, it works well. Now when can I visit the mother and find out how her little girl is?"

"I heard she's doing well at the moment, though don't know anything about the little girl."

"Okay, I'll phone the hospital and see if they'll let me see her, see if I can help her financially, if nothing else."

"Okay, I'd better go. I didn't tell you anything, okay?"

"Tell me about what, Sergeant Bond?"

"Nothing at all, Professor Watts."

"Goodbye," I said and he rang off. In walked Diane at that moment and she said she had seen that they had charged someone with a serious sexual assault in the park over the road.

I nodded, "Good."

"That's the one with the little girl you rescued, hope they convict him and the poor woman can start to get some closure and let's hope the little girl won't remember too much about it."

"I think she's too young to have understood what went on, but her mum is going to be upset for a long time. The more I see of this world, the worse it seems to get. It's like the law of the jungle where the strong can do whatever they want, with very little comeback. I mean Putin has killed thousands in Ukraine, Netanyahu has caused over 25 thousand deaths in Palestine, the Chinese dictator has caused many to disappear, there's trouble everywhere and now the stupid Houthis are trying to damage ships in the Red Sea. Then in the States, Trump is looking like the Republican candidate, feeding on all the publicity of his court cases. I hope he goes to prison for a long time because he is a criminal and to think Boris said his re-election would be good for America."

"Shows how bright Boris is."

"They are two of a kind, unscrupulous chancers lying and cheating their way to the top. How can anybody be fooled by them?"

"I thought we had a lot of dumb people here but the Americans seem to have even more of the stupid brigade and the worst thing is they say it's incurable."

"They walk among us, ooh look, we just have time for a quick cuppa before lunch."

"Yes, boss lady, no, boss lady, three bags full boss lady, oh sign these," she dumped my letters file on my desk and went to put the kettle on. 'Boss lady' I'll give her socks, but after I've drunk my tea. I picked up my fountain pen and began reading my letters, signing each one as I finished it.

That afternoon the hospital allowed me to see the young woman who'd been attacked. She still looked very poorly, so I didn't stay long. I asked if there was anything I could do for her.

"You're the woman who found my Leah in the park, in you?"

"I am, I couldn't see any sign of you, so called the police, it was they who found you and got you to hospital and took your little girl to social services. I didn't actually do anything but call the emergency services and had a crafty cuddle with your daughter until social services came, she's delightful."

"They said you're a professor or somethin' at the university?"

"I am, I went to the park to eat my lunch and saw your little girl just wandering. Look, I'm quite wealthy and I'd like to help you and Leah get over this. I hear someone has been charged with the assault."

"Yeah, I can feel his 'orrible breath on my skin as soon as I close my eyes, don't think I'll ever forget it."

"Well, if I can help you in any way please don't hesitate to ask."

"When I feel better, per'aps."

"Of course, have you seen your little girl since this happened?"

"Maybe at the weekend, I doan wanna let see me like this."

"Here's my card, if I can help." I handed her my card and a basket of fruit and a get well card.

Thanks, for what you did and for me fruit an' that."

"It was nothing, now get well and let me know if I can help. I know a lot of people and my husband knows even more, so don't hesistate."

I said goodbye and saw it was too late to go back to work so I drove home and watched David preparing my dinner.

"What are you cooking?"

"Cottage pie."

"I employ a chef to make cottage pie?"

"This is for tomorrow's lunch," he said dismissively, if he stuck his tongue out and yelled, na na da na na, it wouldn't have surprised me, but he didn't.

"So what is for tonight's dinner?"

Salmon and broccoli with watercress sauce and new potatoes, the broccoli is tender-stem and I've saved you some salmon for tomorrow so you can take salmon and cucumber sandwhiches. I've even got you a multigrain wholemeal loaf, and a rhubarb yoghurt for sweet, plus of course some crisps."

"Damn, now I'll spend all morning waiting for lunch, tomorrow."

"That's not my problem, I'd have thought someone in your position would have overcome the instant gratification of adolescence."

"Ooh, a psychologist chef, was that straight out of Reader's Digest?"

"No, it was in your Guardian, actually."

"Just as suspect. For your information I have controlled my instant gratification urge since I was about eight, now I just dream about how lovely my lunch will be. Thank you, Dr Freud."

I made tea for us and gave him a mug, while he continued making the watercress sauce, I went off to my study and noticed a text from Diane. ' Don't blame me, year two had a session booked with Henry tomorrow, in the lab. Have warned John, who says he knows what they were going to do, you should be okay for it, so have booked it, and John.'

Wonderful, now if I drool in anticipation of my lunch I'll have a hundred second years watching me. Diane sure knows how to take the shine off my morning. She didn't say what time and it was too late to try and phone her. Oh well, if I'm in by nine, I should have time to deal with it. I called up Henry's timetable on my computer, we can access the various teaching schedules of all my staff. Oh, he should have been talking about aquatic insects, especially the TEP or whatever they call it, Trichoptera, Ephemeroptera and Plecoptera, or could it be PET, either way it's still Caddis, Mayflies and stoneflies. It's ten till twelve and presumably we'll have live insects for them to observe. I did my learning pond dipping along a railway drainage stream and a pond it created. Only a metre deep, enough to drown in, but with my homemade kit all from 'The Observer's book of Pond Life', by John Clegg. I used that book as an identification manual until it wore out and I discovered better books published by the Freshwater Biological Association. I'm still a member to this day and have a few more of their publications, and if you remember I have John Clegg's larger book, 'Freshwater Life,' given to me by the son of the old man I found lying unconscious in his garden, I raised the alarm by alerting some neighbours, who all thought I was a girl because I had some dungarees my dad got me. They were girl's but he didn't notice and I didn't mind or tell him. But with my changing adolescent body with its burgeoning bum and slight bumps in my shirts, it fitted me nicely as a young woman. Irony is quite common in my life at times.

I got into trouble with Murray over it because my photo was in the paper named as Charlotte Watts. I'm surprised he noticed, probably somebody told him., but our contest for willpower commenced from that day - he trying to embarrass me enough to leave and me determined that I'd do my own thing and he could whistle.

Back to the second year and their lab session, tomorrow, should be fun.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3423 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`
How do the evenings slip away under a tide of domestic chores even though I'm paying someone to cook my food and clean my house? Admittedly, I'm not the only one who creates the mess, but unless Emily cleans it up, I can be pretty sure no one else will notice it, or if they do, they don't think to clean it up unless they are wanting something in return, and occasionally I play thick so their hints and innuendos don't mean very much to me, or so I pretend.

Danni earns quite a reasonable salary from her football and I insisted she saved some of it and to be fair to her she saves about forty per cent, which is mounting up quite nicely and could be enough to put down as deposit on a house when she stops playing. Quite what she'll do then, who knows? But she should have a biology degree in three or four years and she may even go on to do a Master's. Well, that's up to her and I will only give an opinion if asked.

Trish will be off to Cambridge as soon as I think she's mature enough to survive and by then she'll probably have a PhD but I know she wants in on research and possibly it will be on artificial intelligence. Again that's up to her.

Livvie, is planning on doing English and Journalism. I hope she does better than her birth mother who thought more of her career than her child. I'm not sure her father thought of her at all. So Simon and I were happy to stand in for them and adopt her and she's turned out to be a very pretty and very intelligent teen, who is studying at Southampton and she comes home most weekends. It's only her first year and as she makes friends, I hope she won't come home so often because her friends will be a preferred option to coming home. Whatever she decides, I'll support her and always be pleased to see her. Meems, is waiting to go to Surrey Uni, to study English and Drama. Who'd a thought she'd end up doing that with her speech impediment, which has disappeared now without a trace, Hannah wants to be a social worker because she wants to help kids like she was before she ended up with us. Of course Julie and Pheebs are profiting by being good at what they do, Pheebs also does various beauty therapies as well as hairdressing such as laser and electrolysis. Sammi is still with the bank, earning very good money. I know the intelligence service would like to head-hunt her, but she seems content where she is and they know they can always use her if they need, paying for time, of course. She is still one of the best cyber buffs in the country and says she may go to Cambridge while Trish is there. We'll see.

The lab session went as planned with a little silliness about Elvis again being apparent. I let them work it off and the end I told them quite bluntly to enjoy their lab work but we don't mess around in there because that's when accidents happen. I got some funny looks, mainly disdain, but they settled down and we had a good session.

I worked through lunch sharing what David had made me with Diane. Afterwards, she went to type up the report we'd worked on and I began to daydream, thinking about John Clegg's, Freshwater Life.. I had been using it with the class I did because it has some lovely illustrations.

My mind drifted back to finding the old man and the boy who called his mother, describing me as 'some girl at the door'. Anyway they came and phoned the emergency services and the old chap was saved, so that was a satisfactory outcome and the fact he'd called me a girl, made me smile all the way home, even though I wasn't really trying to be one just then, but Dad had bought me some dungarees because Mum had complained that my clothes got dirty when I went pond dipping, so he thought he was helping. They were girl's dungarees and he was helping me quite a bit although I made sure he didn't see me in them, but with long hair, a growing chest and bum I suppose I did look like a girl. Anyway, Mum stopped complaining so they must have done the trick and I had two or three years wear out of them.

I remembered that I had kept notebooks, which were full of drawings by me or diagrams may be more accurate. If I saw something for the first time I'd draw it if I could and also take a close up photo. Even though I had a nice camera, the photos never came out that accurately but between the drawing and the photo I usually had enough to take a guess at what I'd found. I also took measurements of everything I caught and recorded all of it. So you can see, it gave me a good background for dormice or for fieldwork generally. It was obvious I was going to become a biologist and my dad's dreams of me becoming a quantity surveyor and taking over his business were always likely to be shattered. I had no dislike of his profession, it just wasn't for me.

Hopefully before he died he saw that I was happy both as woman and a biologist. That he used to tease me by calling me Doctor Dormouse to the nurses on his ward showed he had accepted me and I was very glad we had reconciled and even had some sort of relationship before he died. It enabled a degree of closure to me. We never think of these things as we live them but they become increasingly important as we age. I know that I didn't really have the same degree of closure with my Mum, although, I suspect she knew what I was doing as she'd coped with me as a girl a few times when I was in school, the Lady Macbeth time, once or twice when I'd been mistaken as female or when the hairdresser's phoned, they thought my name was Charlotte, which was what happened with the book I got for helping to save that old chap. His son thought I was a girl and so did the police officer who posed with us for the Echo photograph. Dad didn't tell me for years that he'd seen it and felt proud of me for what I'd done even if he didn't approve of my impersonating a girl which was Mum's fault because she played along with it and in fact told me to put on my dungarees and brush my hair because the copper and the old man's son thought I was a girl.

So I got a book I treasured, and felt good about myself and Mum's complicity, but of course, it all faded under attack from Murray who thought I was generally a disgrace because I was obviously a queer. He should have been prosecuted for his treatment of me but as they say, what doesn't kill me makes me stronger, so I suppose I got strong. Anyway, I believe he's now in a nursing home and suffering from dementia which I wouldn't wish on anyone, although excuse me for not feeling too much sympathy. He was a bastard to me and has got his deserts. I also heard one of the staff was very gay, so if Murray spotted that, it would drive him bonkers, if so serve him right.

I was pleased I'd been given that book including the inscription inside which is to Charlotte Watts but so what, I have so many second hand books with all sorts of inscriptions inside, some even by the author. Many books I have bought over the years have been declared obsolete by college or university libraries and have been withdrawn and sold to a charity which buys them for a pittance and for the profit they make, they buy books for Africa and places like that and promote literacy. I like it because I get the book and the charity promotes literacy, so a double positive. I have a pile of books on my desk on insects or aquatic insects, most of which are withdrawn but were classics in their day and have useful information. I remember buying my copy of Imms, a real classic on entomology. I got it in Hay-on-Wye, a town built on second-hand books. I have a copy of Chapman, another classic on entomology which I bought with my birthday money. My dad thought I was mad but I was happy. I have a dictionary of entomology, 1100 pages, it's out of print now, but I got a second hand copy for a few quid. It's an amazing book with so much information and I use it so often when I'm planning lessons or need to know something about an insect, even ones I have never heard of before. It's written by an Aussie professor of entomolgy, and to be honest I hadn't heard of him either before, but he knows or knew his stuff. New I suspect it would cost a fortune but I got it cheap.

I know you don't quote stuff which is seen as out of date in a paper of some sort, but it's great for background reading including one like Wigglesworth who wrote a textbook on insect physiology, he was a professor at Cambridge and a leading researcher in his day and he writes quite clearly so really good. I recently bought an American book on Aquatic Insect Ecology, published in 1982 ( before I was born) and it describes how insect ecology was changing from describing an observed species to using your observation to try and speculate what was actually going on; why were several insects doing certain things and then trying to work out if it was adaptive or genetic and how it favoured them, effectively natural selection in action.

So I have a library with a mixture of books both old and new, like Hickin's Caddis larvae book from 1965 with wonderful illustrations which are still used, but which is considered inaccurate for larval descriptions. It only cost me a few pounds but alongside it is Wallace's 'Simple guide to caddis larvae' together with his Key to cased caddis published by the Freshwater Biological Society both of which are current. It means my library takes up quite a bit of space but it has a depth some modern ones don't unless you use the internet, and I have a computer in there too.

I suppose I've always been an academic by inclination, so who'd have thought it is what I have become? Who'd have thought I'd be a woman academic? A few did when they saw the mousey indeterminate creature I was as an undergrad, but most didn't. I tend not to publicise the fact these days, I have served my apprenticeship as a woman and been successful in both my career, my love life, and my family life adopting eleven girls, though one died but we all still remember her and feel her about.

I have been very fortunate on the whole, and have managed to make up the years I didn't have as a girl by watching my children and sharing their girlhoods, and I have known some wonderful people, Simon and Tom or Daddy, as I call him are two of the nicest people you could meet, my pa-in-law, Henry is pretty special too and my children are simply the best kids I could have met, at least as good as I could have produced were I a fertile woman. I have no regrets about my life whatsoever.

"Are you awake?" came the dulcet tones of my secretary/p.a.

"Yes, I was just counting my blessings why?"

"Oh good, we have a bit of a situation, a student has been injured quite badly in one of your labs."

"Oh, shit! Has an ambulance been called? Find the accident book, we need to record it. Which lab?" I rushed out of my office, locking the door after me and ran towards the lab. 'Why does it always end up like this? Life doesn't seem to want me to be complacent. Oh well, let's see what's what,' I said to myself as I thundered down the stairs to my lab.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3424 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`

I hate to think what my blood pressure registered as my feet pounded down the stairs. The first lab was locked, we tend to keep them that way now, the second I burst into and an arm grabbed me and threw me into one of the benches. Shocked was probably the first thing that came to mind to describe my status, clearly this was something other than an accident. I managed to avoid the corner and absorbed most of the impact with my arms. I was dressed in jeans and jumper as we had been in the lab earlier looking at microscope slides and specimens living in some tanks that we keep.

One of these is Gyrinus better known as a whirligig beetle, known the world over for its swimming in circles on the surface layer of ponds. I had spent some time telling about this very adapted beetle, which has middle and hind legs adapted to paddles which open like a venetian blind on the power stroke and then twists and fold back within the foot, which packs into the leg and that packs into a concavity higher up the leg. It does this for every stroke it swims and it can swim at 50 - 60 strokes per second. I wonder if anyone has built a machine with such reliability?

After my success in the lab session earlier, I was now picking myself up off the floor as a man in a ski mask was shouting orders at me while hold a pistol that was trained on my body. "Get up," he shouted, "Stand still."

"What is this all about?" I asked and was immediately told to keep quiet.

His colleague who I hadn't noticed was standing to the side wearing a similar ski mask. I told him that they both looked silly wearing the masks. "We all have to make compromises, professor, or do you prefer Lady Cameron?"

"Not particularly in the university."

"Very well, professor it is."

"Thank you, perhaps you could explain why your colleague is holding a gun pointed at me?"

"The least I could do," he said, adding, "in case he needs to shoot you."

"Why would he need to do that?"

"We have both heard you can be difficult to subdue in a physical confrontation."

"I'm sure that is an exaggeration and guns make me nervous, especially when pointed at me."

"That is intentional, professor."

"I assumed it was."

"Do as you are told and you will come to no harm."

"Famous promise which does little to allay my fears."

"If you make any sudden movements or call for help, his finger will move quicker on the trigger than you can to evade a bullet. I would not advise trying to prove me wrong. He is also a good shot, so can perforate you several times before you hit the ground, rather dead. It's also rather messy."

"Oh dear, we must think of our cleaning staff, then and keep things tidy."

"Very droll, professor, besides we want you alive as we believe your husband would pay quite a good price in a ransom."

"Henry would never wear it."

"Oh dear, does he think so little of his daughter-in-law, and fellow bank director?"

"I'm not especially important to the bank."

"I don't think your husband would agree."

"As you said, his father would have the final say and he doesn't do kidnaps for ransom."

"I think you mean he wouldn't pay a ransom?"

"Exactly." My brain was working at the speed of light. I didn't know if I could deal with one of these men let alone two, with one holding a gun on me. "How do I know the gun is loaded?"

"Make a sudden movement, professor, it will demonstrate if we are bluffing, though I would advise caution, because I know we are not."

"I doubt even Simon would pay for my dead body, but he would be prepared to spend large amounts of money in tracking you down and having you killed."

"At this moment, I think it unlikely, but my colleague will definitely shoot you should you try anything."

"Oh, I believe you, so can you point the gun at something else?"

"Alas, no."

I had my phone in my hand and it started ringing.

"Ignore it."

"It's my secretary who knows where I am and will come and see what is happening in a moment. The last she knew was that I was rushing to deal with a serious accident in one of my labs. She will raise the alarm and you'll be surrounded by armed police in minutes."

"He can still shoot you before they get here."

"I appreciate that."

"Answer your secretary, tell her it was a false alarm and you will be back to your office in a little while."

I pressed answer on my phone and he told me to put it on speaker phone to lessen the chances of me trying to say anything to warn Diane. "Hello prof, are you all right?"

"Yes at the moment I am, it was a false alarm, I should be back soon, okay?"

"What happened then, they said someone had been badly hurt?"

"Not yet, but there is a gun trained on me which could alter things rather quickly."

"What?" she screeched at me and I switched off my phone.

The man rushed over and threw my phone on the hard floor, it broke into several pieces. "My insurance is not going to like you," I said at him and he pushed me away his colleague lifted his hand with the gun and pulled the hammer back. It didn't fill me with confidence that I would survive this ordeal.

"That was stupid professor, now we may have to kill you."

"Oh dear."

"But we shall take one of your children in your place as I believe they would fetch as good a ransom."

"Hey, you leave my kids alone, do you hear me?"

"Don't sound so clever now, do you professor?"

Sirens filled the air and a helicopter was heard flying overhead.

"I think you may have a little difficulty now as well."

"So it would seem. However, before they get anywhere near us you will be dead, we'll just blend in with the rest of your students and go after your children."

"Most of my students don't carry guns."

"Oh not to worry, we'll leave it here by your body. We have another outside, we'll use that one to kidnap your kids."

I didn't think that was likely but even so I could be rather dead and unable to appreciate the moral victory, pyrrhic as it would be. I did wonder if a marksman would be able to take out the one with the gun but then realised the labs all had frosted glass and they'd be just as likely to shoot me. My sweatshirt just declared 'Portsmouth University,' and was bright red, would Diane remember that? I suspect they will try for talking this out, telling the kidnappers there was no escape and to give themselves up. I could still be shot, perhaps in spite. I tried to think clearly, my life could depend upon it. I thought of calling the goddess to see if she could help but with my luck she was probably out of her office.

The phone rang on the desk. It was almost certainly the police. "Answer it; any clever stuff and we'll start the perforations."

I nodded that I understood and picked up the ringing hand set. "Hello, Professor Watts, can I help?"

"This is Superintendent Morris, is there someone holding you hostage in there, professor?"

"Yes, they have at least one gun."

"Why didn't you answer your mobile?"

"It was smashed earlier."

"Okay, let me speak to one of the kidnappers."

"He wants to speak to you"

"Hello, yes, we could still shoot her. Well we could shoot a few of you as well. We may have to take that risk". He put the phone down and the most ridiculous scenario played itself out in my mind, that of 'Deal or no deal,' and the bad guy had just said no deal. Oh dear, not unexpected and I did sort of sound the alarm.

How many doors out of here?"

"The one out to the hall and a fire door, they are mandatory in laboratories."

"Thought so." He looked up and saw the green sign stating 'Fire exit.' and went to look at it. It was locked with key behind a glass box on the wall next to it. He saw the fire alarm and hit it with his elbow. Several thousand students, teachers and clerical staff would start to evacuate the campus. If the police didn't have a cordon around this block the two kidnappers could well escape to go after my kids. The one still had a gun pointing at me he broke the glass on the fire door lock and put the key in the lock. Next number one kidnapper, the one who wasn't holding a gun, started tearing up bits of paper, shoved them in a sink and set fire to them. If he wanted to create a diversion, coming out of a door with lots of smoke about, the police may just miss them.

I looked and both kidnappers were stoking the fire, I slipped under a bench and quietly opened a cupboard door, I hoped there was enough room for me inside. I crept in and pulled the door closed, trying not to cough and give myself away. I knew we had sprinklers in the ceiling and they would start as soon as the smoke started to build. I heard the water from them hit the benches and floor and the kidnappers swore then noticed I was missing but with the indoor 'rain' and the smoke they decided to exit the lab and run for it.

I waited, not being able to see what was happening, and my head was stuck deep into the under bench cupboard. I could hear only shouts and the running on the sprinklers, I sat tight for a few more minutes. Then a loud voice called, "Armed police," and I knew it was safe to come out except I could be shot by the police. I called out 'Help!' and pushed open the door. A copper with a rifle confronted me and I emerged with my hands up. I was taken outside under guard. I tried to explain who I was and to get someone to my house to guard my children, whoever was in charge of the SWAT team spoke to me and I explained they had let the gun men get away but that they had indicated they would try to grab one or more of my kids.

I tried to explain where I lived and the officer said he knew my house, in fact, anyone in the Portsmouth police knew my house, so much had happened there. He called a superior and urged a car with armed officers be sent there. I suddenly thought we needed to stop Tom going home as well, as knowing him he'd either get shot or kidnapped.

I also said we'd have to secure the fire door as the lab contained valuable equipment and the police told me that scene of crime officers would need to examine it first. The fire brigade had arrived and the sprinklers were switched off.

I'd have to discover what they'd used for kindling and our insurers would have to see what damage had occurred, mainly from water. I got a message to Tom who was speaking to fire officers, and was told that I would have to attend the central police station to give a statement. Just when I wanted to go home, count my kids and protect them.

I had no phone but they allowed me back in my office to call home and tell David and Emily to lock the doors and only let family in. Then I managed to find Danni's number and tell her to warn the others but to all get safely home and hoped by now a police car would be there to help guard them.

My bowels started to move and I had to rush to the loo.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3425 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`
I made it in time and didn't add embarrassment to my other worries. I told the police that I wanted to go home and would attend first thing tomorrow to make a statement. It was only when I insisted that they agreed, presumably looking for forensic evidence in my lab, while I spoke to Diane briefly and then rushed off to the house speed restrictions and red lights not slowing my progress. I'm not sure I even saw any, my mind was planning on what I would do when I arrived.

I shot into the drive and nearly hit Danni who was parking her car. She had Trish with her; she'd been in the library of the university, researching for her PhD. I explained the situation and we approached the house with great caution. I asked Danni to phone home and then took her phone from her. "Hello, David what's for dinner?"

"What?" he replied, "You get attacked and all you want to know is what's for dinner?"

"Yes, so you can tell me or if you are being held hostage."

"No, but I could use a pay rise if my life is in danger."

"Isn't mine from your cooking?" I asked back. He laughed and I assumed me it was safe to enter the house.

"What if they're waiting for us to enter and barge in past us?" asked Trish. And as they had a gun with them previously they might well have another outside as he told me. It was a real possibility and as we didn't know how much they had in resources it could happen and I'd be guilty of underestimating them. I rang David again and told him to be ready to let us in very quickly. It all went well and the moment we heard the door click, we rushed in as if the devil himself was after us. Then the door was locked and bolted and once more I had to rush off to the loo. When I returned Danni had made me a cuppa and it tasted like nectar.

We explained to everyone what had happened and they were all amazed at my story, Danni in her droll way was surprised I could get into the cupboard under the lab bench. I reminded her that the cupboards on the end of the benches were bigger that those along the side and besides, I wasn't that big, she laughed and made some remark that if I heard it properly, suggested that compared to her I was. Maybe I needed to lose some more weight.

We closed the shutters on the downstairs windows, which would create another obstacle were they to try to gain entry to the house through them. We had an evening meal and David and Emily, plus her mother all stayed overnight in the house. Tom had phoned and said he would stay with a colleague overnight.

In the morning after a sleepless night for most of us, the police came by and checked our garden and outhouses. They were clear. I suspected they might well be and even considered that the kidnappers would try and snatch the kids from school rather than the house and might wait several weeks to do so. I spoke to Simon while David provided the police patrolmen with coffee and bacon sandwiches. As they were nominally protecting us, I felt quite happy they were there.

While I drank a cuppa I checked our passports and thought that a week in Menorca may be rather pleasant and it may be interesting for migrant birds using it as a landing place on the way up from Africa to their breeding grounds in Europe. Of course our safety was paramount and Simon called me back and suggested the castle, but in the winter, it was far from enticing. He agreed that Spain may be a good idea and it was half term and the kids who went to school were off for at least a week starting from next week. He arranged for us to be collected by a cab to be taken to Southampton airport and we'd fly by private jet to Menorca. I called them to go and pack. Danni queried it saying she couldn't go, that she'd miss some matches and also her lectures. I told her we could resolve that via the internet and that I'd speak to Bournemouth Football Club.

It was decided and by teatime we were on our way to Menorca. I felt as if I was running away and I'd have to deal with the problem when I came back, and although it went against the grain to do so, I thought after a week of relaxing I'd be more able to deal with life when I returned and besides the kids would love it.

It was dark when we arrived at the villa. I'd hired a people carrier and we all got into it. Mrs Smith the lady who looks after the villa for us had stocked up the fridge and aired it for us. As it was at short notice, I paid her a bonus and she was waiting when we arrived. The girls had to share rooms for sleeping and Danni and I shared the master bedroom. We had put-u-ups in the lounge and dining room - we always eat in the kitchen anyway, or outside if it's nice.

I sat outside talking to Mrs Smith while the others got ready for bed. There was just enough room on the drive for the people carrier, I'd check the car there tomorrow. The night was chilly but warmer than home and it was dry, at home it had been drizzling. I checked my mobile, set it to a Spanish service provider, changed the time on it and called Simon to say we had arrived. I set the alarm and went to bed, Danni was already fast asleep and the others seemed the same except Trish, who was lying in a sleeping bag in the lounge on her tablet.

"Why aren't you asleep?" I asked her.

"Why aren't you?" she shot back at me.

"I'm going to bed now I said, kissed her goodnight and went off to my own bed and after my nightly routine got into it after moving a sprawling Danni off my half of it. I tossed and turned for a while amazed that we'd actually got here so quickly. I accepted that I'd run away but convinced myself it was to protect the kids. I fell asleep after running through a training regime of self-defence I would start after breakfast tomorrow.

It was nippy when we woke up but the sun promised us a dry and warmer day. We ate breakfast and I spent an hour working out. Danni did likewise and we rigged up a target for our kick boxing and also punches and other martial elements. Trish who'd been watching the others braved a swim in the chilly waters of our pool and joined us for the end of our practice to get warm again.

The majority wanted to go to the beach even though I tried to warn them it wasn't really warm enough for it, but we made some sandwiches and set off for the beach near us at ES Grau. It was so tempting to walk over to the nearby nature reserve but I made do with watching the kids with one eye and birdwatching with the other and was rewarded with seeing at least one eagle soaring over the reserve. I had to physically remember why we were there, for protection against kidnappers although I thought it was unlikely they'd followed us, it was possible.

So while I watched the birds, the girls clad in skimpy shorts and tee shirts, watched the boys walking back and fore on the beach or assembling their kite or sail boards. I kept an eye skinned for men wearing ski masks, but in this environment they'd stand out like sore thumbs. The problem was that without their respective ski masks I wouldn't recognise them, so they could be any of the young men we saw walking past.

We eventually got to Mahon (pronounced Mao by the locals) and had a quick wander round the shops and markets there, I bought some fresh fish in one of them and we went home to cook and eat it with the fresh vegetables we bought in the local Lidl. We also bought cereals and milk, so the breakfasts were sorted quite quickly and we all had a fresh made cake afterward. We'd all had a tiring day, so after dinner we went to bed quite early. I did remember to call Simon and also Stella to say we were okay but didn't mention we had gone to the beach although the sea air caused me to yawn a few times while talking to them.

I slept all night and the next morning after some fruit and toast, I again set to with Danielle to practice our self-defence moves and kick boxing, while Trish went swimming in the pool again and once more she joined us for the last bit of our self- defence exercises.

We decided to go to Castell del Toro, which has a cafe and a viewing point, I have seen blue rock thrushes here before but not today although I did see a green hairstreak butterfly, which flies significantly earlier than back in the UK, and I think we saw a winter damselfly as well, or I did, the girls were fighting over something or other. Danni and Trish sorted it and we resumed tucking into plates of sausage and chips, so that was our healthy eating for today.

We had a quick look at a zoological garden but ended up at Castell Santa Agueda with its long walk up the hill, then the girls suggested we come another day and spend all day there with picnic. As it sometimes gets different birds there I agreed but told the girls that everyone would need to carry something if we did. I knew we had a ground sheet I could roll up and add to my rucksack.

Another day we went to Alaior and looked around there, then we went to Santo Tomas and walked the gorge and found one or two large caves. I always carry a torch with me and it proved useful there.

Then we did a packed lunch salad, cheese, rolls, drinks, some crisps and the groundsheet to sit on while we had our picnic. It took a good hour to get to the top and we shared carrying Lizzie and Cate, when they complained about it. We were well into our picnic, it was a lovely day easily twenty odd degrees centigrade but not too hot despite our physical activities. The younger girls were running about as usual and although we had seen one or two people about, two men were walking towards us and they suddenly snatched Cate and held a gun at us as they walked away back towards the path down to the base of the hill.

We were absolutely astonished, and I rang the police and reported the abduction. It took a few moments for them to understand, but they said they would come. Meanwhile Trish and Sarah agreed to watch the young ones now without Cate. Danni and I dropped our back packs and we set off at a run to try and head off the kidnappers.

Much of the path is hidden in places by a wall and towards the middle there is a flat place with the disintegrating van and below that it descends into trees with a sort of woody area on both sides. The path is very uneven which slowed our progress but it also slowed the kidnappers. After a short time we were gaining on them but at times having to hide to avoid them seeing us. We heard sirens from the bottom of the road below us and knew the police were responding. Now, here they carry guns, like most Spanish police, so the kidnappers wouldn't be able to bluff their way past them, if we didn't get them first. Although we were running most of the way, Danni is very fit and I'm not too bad either and we were close enough to hear Cate crying. It spurred us on and I was feeling very hostile towards the pair that had snatched my child..

I had hoped to intercept them at the wide green space by the wrecked van, it's been there years, but we weren't quite quick enough, however, that became to our advantage. I have spent years moving about in woodland, stalking various wildlife from birds to dormice and other rodents.

I sped through the woodland, Danni doing her best to keep up. This was my environment and once I drew level and still hidden I knew that confrontation was imminent. As I moved onto the offensive Danni jumped out onto the path to distract them. She shouted at them and they warned her they had a gun. I jumped out and smacked one of them in the face with my stick which promptly shattered on impact, no matter he went down groaning and I was able to grab Cate from the other's grasp as Danni jumped at him. He knocked her down waving the gun just as two Menorcan police officers appeared at the bottom of the path. Once they saw the gun, I dived down holding Cate and covering Danni with my body. There were a few shots and the sound of someone shout in pain and fall. It was all over and I realised I had grazed both knees as I dropped to protect both my children. Cate was screaming and Danni was crying and the man I hit in the face with half a tree was groaning and wriggling on the ground.

It transpired one of the kidnappers was shot dead on the path, one of the coppers was moaning 'papeleo' because of the paperwork shooting someone would create. Within minutes police were swarming everywhere and once they understood what had happened, an ambulance was summoned and the body of the kidnapper removed, and his injured friend was taken off in a police car. Some of the police went to collect Trish and Sarah with Hannah and Lizzie who weren't all that far away as they had followed at a safe distance.

Danni had hurt an elbow jumping at the kidnapper and I had two bruised and grazed knees. Cate was shocked and upset and all of us were upset at what had happened. The paramedic had asked what I had hit the kidnapper with and I pointed at the broken branch on the path, he shook his head and explained he thought the man had several broken bones in his face. I told him I had no sympathy, he had snatched my child. He nodded his understanding.

As neither of the kidnappers were going anywhere, except the morgue and a hospital we were allowed to go home. A senior police officer remembered me from before and asked how much of the island I had tried to burn down this time? He had very good English and he understood what had happened. I had to attend the police headquarters in Mao the next morning with Danielle to make statements, the others because they weren't involved in the action gave statements at the time and were excused.

Of course, there were long calls to London when we got back to the villa and Henry, who knew somebody in the island government, was able to smooth our way so although we were there an hour or more talking to police things were cleared up quite quickly, although the senior copper did tell me that we were all welcome but 'please no more criminals, we have enough of our own.'

We had a couple of days to recover and calm Cate down and have a shorter holiday than we should and then returned to Blighty in the same private jet we had come in. I was never more glad to see Southampton and waiting for us when we arrived were Simon and his dad. I had held it together all through our ordeal, but the moment Simon held me in his arms, I dissolved into tears. I was so glad to see him and at last, I knew it was over and we were all safe.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3426 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`

I had been back a few days and returned to work. My knees were still tender and I had to avoid kneeling on hard surfaces. Diane was intrigued by my tales of derring-do and asked the question I had been tossing over in my mind. How did the would-be kidnappers know we had gone to Menorca? And when we were there how did they know what we were planning from day to day.

Through Henry's contact we managed to learn that someone at the university had blabbed about our last minute holiday and they had been watching us at the villa with a couple of cameras hidden in the undergrowth across the road from the villa and had been following us about. When the surviving kidnapper realised he was due a sentence of seven to ten years for kidnap, he sang like a canary - well until somebody shot him in prison and silenced him. That really worried me because it showed whoever was in charge was pretty ruthless and it bore a resemblance to the Russian mafia, I hope they weren't after us again.

The world news was awful as it had been for some time; Putin had had Navalny killed and Israel was still bombarding Gaza. Britain was like a third world country because the Tories had stripped it bare and were the only ones to profit from it. We had no public services to talk about, all the streams and rivers were polluted to hell by water companies who didn't give a shit. Actually that's not true, they gave a lot of shit, mostly discharged in sewage along with farmers who were complaining - when don't they? - who had decimated our wildlife and also allowed run off from fields and muck heaps to finish making all the rivers and streams eutrophic, even Lough Neagh, the largest freshwater lake in the British Isles was becoming eutrophic, probably from sewage or run off. This means that the lake becomes invaded by algae because there is too much in the way of nutrients in the water. The algae flourishes, uses up all the oxygen in the water, poisoning all the fish and macroinvertebrates and eventually poisoning other animals like dogs, who drink from the polluted water.

How this has all been allowed to happen is because the stupid government we have had for 14 years has been cutting resources to the Environment Agency and Ofwat who regulate the standard of freshwater, so they haven't been doing their job properly and the water companies have preferred to pay shareholders and chief execs lots of money instead of reinvesting it in the companies to improve facilities. It's been going on a long time and we actually have a situation where water companies are pleading poverty - why? Because they gave the money away to chief execs in bonuses. Explain to me how anyone can have a bonus after leaking sewage into rivers for thousands of hours, or into the sea making swimmers and surfers ill. Clearly they aren't doing their jobs properly and should be jailed rather than given huge sums of money.

I enquired about how people knew I was away and where and it seemed to be common knowledge throughout the science department. They also seemed to know about the attempt to kidnap me or one of my children. What surprised me was when Diane told me that lots of staff and students didn't have a lot of sympathy for us as a family because if we weren't so damned rich, no one would bother, because like ordinary people we'd have nothing to pay for a ransom. I was devastated and went to see Tom who invited me to lunch and turned down my attempt to resign.

I burst into tears and asked what I had to do. It wasn't my fault that I'd married a millionaire, and I'd helped loads of people at the university over the years, so why did I bother if they thought so little of me?

He hugged me and told me that I cared about the university, its staff and students and for the environment and my dormice. I had done loads that people didn't know about or didn't care about. There would always be those who were envious of me and the money we had, but they always would be. They didn't appreciate how hard I worked and how I was always ready to help anyone in trouble.

He told me while I was away that some of my biologists had found the previously unknown breeding area of an endangered river turtle that I had found funding for and had also suggested they speak to locals because they often have knowledge foreigners don't, even so called experts. They found it because they used locals' info and it was in all the UK papers, though my name wasn't mentioned. He told me in no uncertain terms that it only happened because I set it up and gave appropriate advice.

I wasn't so sure and felt my time at Portsmouth was coming to an end. He told me if I resigned he would too and that I still had lots to do, so to think again. I told him I would speak to Simon and the kids. He looked at me and nodded then suggested I took a sabbatical. That was something I hadn't thought of and would discuss with Simon and the family. He also suggested to me to write a study on the dormouse, a proper scientific one this time showing all the current research people were doing including my own over the years.

We went back to the university and I felt tons better. I had a long chat with Diane and she told me to ignore the gainsayers who were just jealous of my lifestyle and owning several properties as well as having so many kids. She said some saw me like an alien who had no concept of how it was to struggle on a budget with the rise in the cost of living, and I told her it wasn't always that way.

"Why don't you write a biography then, tell people how you have suffered at the hands of bigots and how much you have tried to do to protect dormice as well as students and staff of the university. How you have risked life and limb to protect your family and how you have performed near miracles on several people. That, I thought would be the last thing I did, though some advice from 'Milady' would not go to waste.

It was Friday and Tom had told me to go home and think clearly about what I wanted in life and to go for it. I decided to take some of his advice and after the chat with Diane, I left early, advising Trish, Danni and Sarah what I was doing. They all said they'd get a lift with Danni, so I drove home, had a cuppa and promptly fell asleep, waking up later as the girls got in from uni and my bladder needed to relieve the pressure in it.

After dealing with my urinary needs, I sat with the girls in the kitchen over a pot of tea. David carried on making the dinner. I asked them what they thought of me taking a sabbatical. It seemed they were all in favour as long as if I went anywhere exotic during it, I took them too. Poor little rich kids, I had commented and told them of the gain sayers at the university. They weren't exactly shocked, they had heard rumours after getting back, although sometimes their friend didn't always realise that I was their mother. All of those that we had adopted used the surname Cameron, after their dad, but of course in an academic setting I used the surname Watts, my maiden name. It was a pretence to show my academic and family life were different. They weren't really as anything upsetting my family became an issue at work as well, the recent kidnap attempt showed that, although I had to admit that I was independently wealthy as the tax man knew and extracted his pound of flesh. Looking at a recent release of the prime minister's tax bill, my initial reaction was, "Is that all?" I had paid nearly as much on my earnings alone. Of course it backfired, because said outburst was in front of Diane, who accused him 'man of the people' as he tried to portray, saying that he had no idea how ordinary people lived, then looked at me, "Amazingly you do, amazingly!"

"Why is it so amazing? I spent my early university years living like a pauper because I spent my student loan on a racing bike."

'Wasn't that your decision?" she asked in a rather loaded way.

"Yes, it was entirely mine and I lived with the consequences. I bought my everyday clothes in charity shops and lived on toast, salad when it was cheap, and baked beans. I reckon I ate two large loaves a week. For nutritional essentials, I usually had a tin of sardines or pilchards either with toast or a jacket potato. I ate quite a few of those during my undergraduate days."

"So, you bought all your dresses and shoes at charity shops?" asked Diane.

"The one or two I had, I did. I mostly wore womens' jeans because they fitted my big arse better, and oversize jumpers to disguise my blossoming chest, and a duffel coat or a waxed one, again shapeless. My colleagues didn't know if I was a girl or a boy because of my grungy clothes and rather long hair. I knew I was female but I hadn't declared it to the university authorities. "

"Why did you spend all that money on a bike, and didn't your parents fund you through uni? Mine did."

"I fell out with my parents. My dad nearly killed me at one point he beat me up so badly, and I took a pile of pills to end it all, but I was discovered by an electrician who had come to PAT test a new kettle I'd bought. They gave me the antidote to paracetamol and my liver was saved. I was very lucky. I was here then doing a masters' and while I was in hospital recovering, Prof Agnew came to see me and asked me the reason for my distress. I had kept it hidden from most people, but he showed sincere concern, not the fake kind so many use, and because I was debilitated both physically and mentally, I told him. I learned much later that my previous professor at Sussex, Prof Herbert, knew Tom had had a transgender daughter who had been killed in a traffic accident, and although he didn't show me that he was trying to figure me out, he was the one who suggested I go and see Tom speaking at a public lecture. I actually criticised him; he was talking about surveys, and I was and had been actively involved in surveys of all sorts, and told him what he was doing wrong. Only an adolescent could do that to a professor. He challenged me to prove it and offered me a chance to do a master's degree to show him.

"I was quite up to challenges, perhaps it was the last bastion of my declining maleness. The reason I bought the bike was because I tried to join the university racing (cycling) club and they told me to go try with the girls. I was so disgusted that I bought a top flight road bike, using up virtually all my money and trained every day. I had my revenge when I beat the guy who told me to join the girlies, in a hill climb competition, not only beat him but destroyed him. He wasn't aware of it but I was."

"So you won a pyrrhic victory and nearly got killed by your dad. Why did he try to kill you?"

"Because I told him I was transsexual, he teased me about my long hair and girlish appearance. He just attacked me. Anyway, while I was recovering and Tom came to see me, he could recognise several of his daughter's traits in me. Then I confessed to him and he told me that he understood and if I wanted to do anything about it he and the university would support me. I was astonished; he also knew my psychiatrist, because would be suicides had to have psychiatric evaluation, I suppose to stop them trying again. Dr Thomas was wonderful and encouraged me think about transitioning. To be honest, I had done nothing but think about transitioning but was too scared to do it. Then one day I was out for a ride on the expensive bike, ran into a thunderstorm and got knocked off my bike by Simon's sister, Stella. A real maniac in a car, she picked me up and took me home and saw my 'inbetween' body, I was taking oestrogen and because I was testosterone insensitive, I was going through a female puberty and growing breasts. Annoyingly, in order to ride my bike in lycra, I had to bind my boobs.

"She had destroyed my riding kit in hitting me off my bike and after bathing me, I was all bruised and scratched, she gave me some of her clothes to wear, tidied up my hair a little and made me up as a woman. My own attempts had been awful but suddenly here was this quite pretty woman revealed to me. I never went back to being a boy, ran into Tom in town and we went for a cuppa and he told me he was glad to meet the real me at last, fended off some unwelcome interest from fellow students at my apartment block and told me he expected to see me dressed as I was back in college."

"So now you have my history, or part of it."

"She looked at me and said, "Wow, you have to do a biography." I just thought, 'No Way.'

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3427 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`
Writing a biography was not something I fancied at all. Over the years I had read so many of trans people and only April Ashley's had made me remember it, partly because her story was so larger than life, mine paled to insignificance by comparison and all the male film stars she had bedded by comparison to my one and only Simon. I wouldn't swap him for anyone, not even Colin Firth, or Colin Farrell for that matter, who I wouldn't kick out of bed either - well not until after... After what I hear you say, and I have to ask if you are serious or have you not heard that women have needs as well? Nah, I'm not serious, I couldn't do that to Simon, could I - no I damned well couldn't, I love the man and besides, what would my girls think of their mother - not a lot.

My time discussing a sabbatical with my kids had descended into what they wanted to do or go, rather than my needs. But then that is partly my fault, in putting their needs first. I had also given them a lot of my time whenever I could which caused them to perhaps be a bit selfish. When they were young it was expected, now they are older perhaps they should have a broader view. May be I am wrong.

I was waiting to talk to Simon about my future as he is my partner and he would discuss it with me if it was him, I think although I'm not sure. We see so little of each other these days, both workaholics and always short of time to do things that weren't essential, but that depends upon what you deem essential. In my case family or my department/ university. In his family(I hope) then the bank, then anything else and finally me. I know he trusts me implicitly and I do him, but otherwise I don't know where I lie in his list of priorities and I'm half scared to ask him because it implies I don't know and could that show a betrayal of trust. Oh goodness, why is it always so complicated.

Diane brought me a cuppa and I was deep in thought, she put the mug down and banged on my desk and I jumped out of my skin. "You are awake then?"

"Of course I am, I was just thinking about what Tom said yesterday about a sabbatical."

"Well, that's less permanent than resigning."

"True, but once someone has got their feet under my desk, reclaiming it may be difficult."

"Take it home with you, then they'd have to buy a new one."

I sighed, "I didn't mean literally."

"Well, stop talking in metaphors then."

"Why, it shows intelligence."

"That may be a moot point," she threw back at me and sniggered. "How's the autobiography coming?"

"What autobiography?"

"The one you're going to write."

"I don't remember saying I was going to write one, only you telling me to."

"What more do you need? It's the ultimate accolade."

"Since when?"

"Look, we all know you only appointed me for my extremely good taste."

"Oh, of course, and there's me thinking it was because you could type faster than me, your spelling was reasonable and you made a good cuppa. I'm sure those were the reasons you were appointed and the fact that you were available at short notice as my previous secretary had left to become a student."

"Ha, you delude yourself."

"That was what my father used to say, he being a an evangelical type of Christian. I wasn't sure if he was taking the piss when he said it, because talk about the pot calling the kettle had nothing on him. It was only because my mother had died suddenly and he'd had a severe stroke and he actually needed me, that he came to accept my gender as female."

"You never talk about you parents, other than Tom."

"What's there to say, they were both fundamentalists and I was an atheist, fed up with them ramming their religious beliefs down my throat, especially as I was thinking for myself and rejected them all as pure mythology. I see nothing in the scriptures, let alone feel they were written by a god that doesn't exist and a man, who if he lived, was killed by the Romans, and was then elevated to the godhead about two hundred and fifty years after he died. It was political. Nothing in the gospels is necessarily true and much of it is propaganda including which became the canonical version, many were excluded supposedly by other disciples including Thomas and Mary Magdalene. The one by Thomas is incomplete but is rather nice but doesn't match the Matthew, Marl Luke and John which were written to support the then hierarchy of the Catholic church who had eliminated the all the other sects, like the Gnostics and the Cathars. The Christian church has a long history of being unChristian towards other Christians and other faiths as well."

"You don't believe in compromise do you?"

"Not over fairy tales, no and they are all myths and legends that people accept as gospel."

"Very droll."

"It's like fundamentalist Muslims believe that god dictated the Koran to Mahomet while he sat in a cave for so long. They don't take into account that he was a camel driver, so probably couldn't write too well. In a way it also why we have no original writings of Jesus, because he couldn't write. He may have been able to read, sort of, but writing is a much more technical skill that requires lots of practice to hone the motor skills and set up the muscle memory or pathway. If you remember when you first learned in school, if you can remember that far back, they had you practice writing nearly every day to set up the pathways. It takes about a thousand hours."

"You have really thought about this, haven't you?"

"I wanted to see what I was missing, so did lots of reading and thinking, I was fascinated by the beginnings of Christianity, not the poor guy on the cross, but the machinations in the following centuries, even to some extent nowadays. It's still run by conmen and politicians, who if they believe in Jesus would have a hard time explaining many or their actions. If we give Jesus the benefit of the doubt and allow that he lived, was a polemical preacher and possible Kabbalist. Some believe he was murdered by the Jews to stop him revealing too much about Kabbalah, which they kept strictly secret. However that's speculation but we know nothing else about him that wasn't written by others some time later, nothing is contemporary.

"Also, even St Paul, who initially persecuted Christians, and is the nearest to a contemporary writer we have, never met the man he would claim to worship and he disobeyed other early Christians a Hebrew sect, because he chose to include Gentiles in his religious teachings. So Paul was very unpopular in lots of ways but like many converts really ran with the message. He also died expecting Christ's second coming in his lifetime, so was rather wrong.

"Of course, if you look at all scientifically, all of it is rubbish or old wives tales, and how could Jesus have been born without Mary, his mother, having had sex with a man. If she gave birth as a virgin, it would have parthenogenetically, meaning she had no male chromsomes available, so Jesus would have been female."

"If you said that in the wrong quarters, you'd never get out alive."

"I have and people laugh at me. Why because the myths and lies are brainwashed into them from childhood. Look at Trump, he says the most outrageous things and people don't challenge him, even though they know he tell humungous lies. They choose to allow him to spout untruths and let's face it the Church of Rome had had nearly two thousand years to have the myths crystallise into peoples' core stories which many never question. They just believe, faith triumphing over critical thinking because the latter is sometimes painful. I know it was for me but I just couldn't believe what my parents took at face value. I was only fifteen or sixteen but had learned enough science to challenge them, my father didn't like it and attacked me several times - very Christian."

"Quite," added my secretary.

"It was, in the mediaeval period Christians murdered thousands who wanted to argue, the first Crusade was against other Christians, the Cathars in the south of France, although it wasn't France then, which was part of the plan, so much of it was political, which describes about half of organised religions. It's about power not theology.

"At Acre, Richard the first ( afterwards called Lionheart) ordered the murder of hundreds of Moslem prisoners in front of Saladin and his army. A very Christian thing to do, but other religions can do it too, you only have to look at twenty eight or so thousand killed in Gaza by the IDF."

"Wow, I've never thought about it like that. I'm nominally C of E but now you have me thinking about it."

"That's all I ask of people, that they think about it before they accept it. Most won't because it means exploring core values and that is always painful. Transgender folk have had to do so about their gender and how they see themselves and present what they feel to others, who often reject them, sometime because they are told so by their religious teachers. It's all bigotry because those who are transgender aren't so because they wanted to be so, it something they are born with. So in other words God made them that way, except there is no proof of god, nor will there ever be, because there isn't one.

"However if it helps people to get through the day, believing the fairies will support them, who am I to spoil their delusion but in order for me to do so, I want them to support mine, that I am female, a quid pro quo, but they always want my acceptance without giving anything themselves. Religion is very selfish demanding things of others but giving them nothing in return."

"Sounds like a politician."

"Of course, it does because it's all politics, theology ended when they couldn't decide how many angels could balance on the head of a pin. Just think what they could have concluded if they'd had quantum physics in those days."

"Well, there are lots of things that are smaller than a pin head," said Diane.

"Remember you are talking to a biologist, so I won't disagree." At that we both laughed lightening the atmosphere by several degrees and then Tom phoned to tell me I was going to lunch with him and to be ready. I mentioned I was going with Diane and he invited her too - okay I shouldn't really manipulate him like that but it's so easy and he likes it really - so I keep telling myself. I offer to pay every now and again but he objects because, men always pay for women, he's left me all his money so he may as well see me enjoying it while he's alive, and he always jokes that the inside of my purse contains photophobic bacteria, I just thought it applied to the coins therein, but perhaps he's right - he's a biologist too, as he reminds me every so often.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3428 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`
"Have ye decided?" Tom enquired.

"She hasn't; I've been at her all morning to write her biography, she has seen such change in her lifetime," said Diane.

"Yes, I have most of the reduction in biodiversity in this country, almost by the day and I suspect it's probably true in all industrialised countries where people see money as more important than survival."

"Surely we have the technology to put it right?"

"I think we passed the tipping point a few years ago, when various governments put being fabulously wealthy ahead of having helpful insects."

"Helpful insects, like what?" asked Diane.

"Like honey do you?"

"Of course but the toast has to be just right."

"Where does the honey come from?" I asked her.

"From bee hives, silly. Some biologist you are."

"More of one than you are, bees are insects."

"Oops, you got me there."

"I wasn't intending to trap you, but pollination is one of many services provided to us by insects, flies pollinate more plants than bees, and bumble bees work a lot harder than hive bees, not forgetting solitary bees which lay their eggs without ever seeing their offspring, but that might not be a bad thing because there is enormous parasitism of their little nests, some by other bees."

"Aye that mebbe true," our crusty host decided to enter the discussion, "I've nivver studied insects, Cathy has, written some papers twa."

"I'm afraid that insects are creatures I admire and respect greatly because how sophisticated they are and how complex their biology is. Most aren't very bright but those who have studied various bees in any depth realise how clever they are. This in animals which only live for six weeks."

"Wow, is that all, what a waste." Diane stated looking rather depressed.

"They are exploited by man, like most everything else, who do so mainly to make money and the welfare of bees only crops up when they see the money reducing. I'm not talking about hobbyist bee-keepers, because they really do enjoy their hives but the businessman type who only cares for the dosh he can make by exploiting these little animals. Incidentally, bees are possibly as clever as many breeds of dogs and bumble bees have been noticed playing, the act in itself being the only reward they receive."

"Gosh, there is a lot about bees I don't know," admitted Diane. "Why don't you write a book about it?"

"Why do you want me to write books? It's true isn't it Daddy, that those who can teach, those who can't write books about it."

"Aye, sae they say," he nodded as if emphasising the point."

"These days they make films about it too." Mocking myself made my two companions laugh at my statement. "I believe they have one or two in the history department who can't teach for toffee, but they have written some popular books."

"Aye, they're awfy good, " said the poor man's answer to Oor Wullie.

"Surely, they must know their subject well enough to write a book on it?" Diane seemed to be defending the authors. "I know someone who wrote a book on dormice as well as a film, both of which were acclaimed."

"Perhaps I should meet them," I said before quickly adding, "acclaimed by who? If it's a professor of mammal ecology, fine, if it's the television critic in the Guardian, he was more interested in my shorts than the dormice."

"They weren't wearing any shorts, might explain it," Diane quipped.

"Yes, but they do have very interesting feet and legs and are one of the few species of British mammals that can run both up and down a tree."

"Not at the same time," she quipped again.

"If they do I haven't seen it, but things like bank voles and wood mice just climb and then jump off, relying on their lightness and the bushes below to break their falls. It's quicker than climbing down but uncontrolled and who's to say, that there isn't a fox or weasel waiting under the bushes. It's one of the reasons we have to move experiments with mammals after a short time, because of habituation by predators or parasites. It also happens with experiments with any animal in a wild setting, even our campus."

"Cor," said Diane, "It's almost like you two actually know what you're doing."

"I wouldn't go that far, old girl." I said to get some more laughs.

"I was reading something about parasites and parasitoids, in some notes you asked me to type." I nodded, remembering that particular document. "So, what's the difference?"

"Um, two letters?"

"What?" she said loudly.

"Okay, both are types of parasite, meaning that they live with you without contributing to your life, in fact they usually exploit that life."

"So there's no difference."

"Ah yes, one big difference - you can survive a parasite, parasitoids usually kill their host at the end of their occupation. It's a whole field on its own, and of course some are intermediary hosts for things like malaria or sleeping sickness."

"Which most teenagers have," she suggested, laughing.

"I always thought it was because of human metamorphosis, adolescents' brains turn to soup when they finish puberty."

"That wid explain some o' thae exam papers I've tried to mark," Tom decided to show us he was listening, although the fact he had drunk his glass of Guiness demonstrated that clearly to me.

"So, which book are you going to write?" Diane addressed this question to me.

"Transsexualism in Muscardinus avellanarius."

"What's that when it's home?" she asked and Tom choked for a moment.

"Is that an insect?" she asked when Tom had stopped coughing.

"Dormoose," he got out before coughing again.

"Oh shit, perhaps I should go and write books about things."

"Sounds like you may need a good researcher," I remarked in answer to her self deprecation.

Lunch over we returned to the grindstone. Most of out students had been absent for several days as the Easter holidays loomed, but the staff only had a week or so to try and regain their sanity. Mine had been lost a long time ago so even with a hypersonic missile I wouldn't be able to catch it.

I was thinking about sabbaticals or retirement when the phone rang. It was mid-afternoon on the Thursday before Easter, it was Good Friday tomorrow, so who was ringing me? If it had been family they'd have used my mobile number, because I usually carried it with me. I answered it tentatively, "Who's calling the bat phone?" I announced down the receiver. I don't know why I did it, as it always goes wrong and embarrasses me.

"Hello, professor, please bear with me."

The voice sounded vaguely familiar, "Who is me?" I asked firmly but gently.

"It's John Jackson, I used to write for the Portsmouth Echo. Please don't hang up I need your help."

"Why should I help you? You did your best to make my life and that of my children unbearable?"

"I know and I'm sorry, I'm writing for the Edinburgh News and I'm trying to write something on this trans thing in the Scottish courts."

"So why phone me, I live in England."

"I've tried to get to speak to both sides, but that woman judge who is trans, is so busy she can't see me, I've tried JK Rowling, but she won't talk to me."

"Ah, the billionaire bigot, " I said feeling that the wealthy author, whose books my kids loved, but I held in the same poor level of fiction as Fifty Shades, so refused to waste my time reading them except to the kids when they were younger. Hannah, who was doing English A-level, said her teacher used them both to show how literature shouldn't be written, and when asked why both were so successful, said one word, 'Marketing.'

"You sound as if you don't like her?"

"I've never met the woman, at least I assume she's one, these days you never can tell and I just detest the way she is interfering in an argument that doesn't involve her. She may be Scots, but so am I and I'm not involving myself, it's for the Scottish courts to decide on."

"I know your daughter, the footballer one, is transgender, albeit a very beautiful one and I wondered if you knew anyone I can talk to that isn't ranting, either for or against this case?"

"I don't, and my daughter is legally female so don't try to suggest anything other."

"Look I know she is, otherwise she couldn't have played for England. I just wondered if I can talk to someone to try and get to the real issues on both sides."

"Are you recording this?"

"No, should I?"

"Not sure I believe you based on past experience."

"No I'm not."

"Okay, the reality, and I'm speaking as a non interested person, is that various right-wing factions in America and Britain have stirred up an anti trans atmosphere, usually based on lies and fear but promulgating the safety of women and children, although a lie, as their concern.

"This has caused one or two women with the same political philosophy to denounce transwomen as men, which they clearly aren't, suggesting that they feel unsafe in women's spaces because transwomen, who are really still men, might attack them. The facts suggest any such attacks are rarer than hens teeth, and if anything women have assaulted other women in public loos, claiming they were men.

"Those are the facts, the Tories and Republicans are picking on a tiny minority because it offends their views backed by right wing Christian groups, quite why I don't understand, because no one chooses to be transgender, they are born that way, but being a tiny minority group, sometimes easily identifiable, they can't retaliate, so are an easy target. In the American case it seems evangelical Christians, preach hate of anyone different, which I think suggests, if Jesus were about today, they'd probably hate him too.

"That's the basis, write what you want, but basically, it's about everyone being unkind to each other, if your article promotes just a little kindness in this world, I wish you luck." I rang off thinking I'd probably just blown my cover but what the hell, people in Britain and America were suffering dreadfully at the hands of bigots and liars like Trump and his obsequious and noxious supporters. Feeling suddenly exhausted because I keep this sort of stuff deep inside me, I picked up my bag and locked my office telling Diane to go home, to have a nice Christmas and I left. I think I was rapt in my thoughts as I left and stayed that way until I got home to the chaos and anarchy of a large family. Long may it continue.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3429 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`

I knew it was Easter even though I had wished Diane a happy Christmas, I had been distracted by my phone call from Jackson, besides being anti religion, neither meant much to me except a few days off work, and at my level you are only off work if you go abroad and look what happened then.

The holiday weekend went quite well and David did us proud with a roast chicken that simply melted in the mouth. It was good to see Simon again and he more or less demanded his conjugals. I decided to accept his demands and we went to bed early on the Friday evening, again after a sumptuous meal of salmon, cooked again by David. I'm no slouch in the kitchen but that man is a genius, no wonder Henry is always trying to poach him from us for one of his hotels, but David doesn't want that level of responsibility again, it made him ill last time, which was how I recruited him in the first place. He likes us as family, thinks we are all mad, but nice mad, and he enjoys what he does for us.

Apart from my uxorial duties to my lord and master, he wishes, with Emily doing the bulk of the housework and David doing the cooking, I actually spent some time with my family and believe it or not, they all remembered who I was.

We watched Danni play at Bournemouth and get sliced down in the first half, the referee held up a red card to her assailant but that was little comfort to my daughter who was stretchered off. Simon and Trish were very angry over the whole thing and almost demanded a public execution as a consequence. It was a blatant foul which was why the ref had sent her off, but the punishment fits the crime, this is big girl's footie and professional fouls do occur like they do in the men's game.

Trish drove Danni's car home with its incommoded owner as company, while Simon and I drove back in his Jaguar, with the hood up because it turned out to be as wet an Easter-tide as I could remember and I think the met office suggested it was the wettest winter on record in recent years, with 2023 being the warmest year. Climate change is happening and what are governments doing? Sweet FA. People are drowning in floods or through mud slides and volcanoes, the latter not being due to climate change as far as I know, but most everything else is and the politicians who thump the table and promise all sorts of changes to prevent it, when the time comes for them to act, backpedal because they know it costs money, and we are all green until it comes to paying for it or making changes to our lifestyles, then the fact that thousands of people died across the globe will only result in something being done when the climate actually starts killing their neighbours or their family.

There was an article in the Guardian alleging that 80% or more of the damage to the environment is caused by just 57 companies, I didn't get around to reading it because we were going out, the pollution of our waterways and coastal areas continues and biodiversity remains at an all time low, butterflies being the latest order to be badly affected.

Sometimes I feel like writing a book entitled, 'You Are All Going to Die,' then a subtitle of, 'Thanks to Climate Change.'. Such a direct title may just cause one or two to think 'but probably not' and there are better qualified authors than yours truly.

For the rest of the holiday Danni limped and moped about the house, she had a ligamentous injury in the ankle and it meant she'd be out of action for up to a couple of months, and may require an operation to sort it. I had a ligament injury of my ankle when I fell off my bike, which has happened a few times, and my foot was still attached to the pedal by my shoe and cleat. The wrench to my ankle caused a sprain which is a ligament injury and the ligament stretches and because it's non elastic leaves a weakness thereafter. I have to watch wearing very high heels as my ankle will just give way when it gets tired.

The trans row in Scotland continues to rumble and I suspect that both sides are using emotive arguments rather than biological ones; certainly it seems J.K. Rowling has no idea of the biological arguments because I doubt she is bright enough to understand them. If she did she might shut up and let the whole thing calm down. Gender is a minefield, and sex is much more complicated, and by continuing to misgender people quite deliberately, J.K. Rowling is committing a potential hate crime, but she thinks she is above the law because of an emotional view of a legal fact. The people she is calling men, including the Scottish judge, who is ten times the intellect of our favourite hack, who are legally female, is a deliberate slander and unless she stops she will be guilty of breaking the law. Unfortunately her business interests are still creaming off millions of pounds, which just goes to show that most people are pretty stupid so maybe we need a global catastrophe to deal with it.

The various wars continue and Russia seems to be gaining the upper hand in Ukraine and Israel continues its genocide in Gaza. Trump seems to be surging on regardless of the fact that every other word that comes out of his mouth is a lie. The right is on the rise everywhere and history shows when they triumph most of us suffer and wars break out. Sometimes I wonder what will happen to the human race, the poor ordinary people will pay the price and the Trumps and Rowlings of this world will likely be protected by their money and the last to pay the price of situations they have provoked or created. It depresses me, as I still fear a major war in Europe possibly spilling over from the Middle East; perhaps it will be the prophesised Armageddon of the Book of Revelations, which was written by a completely mad person who suffered from mental issues including hallucinations and so called visions.

All religions are built on bull-shit or sand, none are able to stand up to scientific scrutiny but they have an escape clause, showing that they really are nonsense always claiming they are an exception, but only to rational thought, a bit like Trump and Rowling.

Back to Easter, it didn't rain on Easter Monday until later on, so we did go out and about a little. Simon drove the people carrier and we visited the hotel in Southsea complete with our resident invalid, who hopped on crutches and moaned to anyone who listened to her gripes. It was good to see Henry and Monica who made a fuss of the children and I was a little worried about him telling Trish that he had options on a house in Cambridge if she was still interested in going to the university there. It seems she is and with a PhD in the bag, will attend as a post grad student while her sisters will only be finishing their bachelor's degree in the summer.

Trish is certainly superbright, but then we have known that for years and it was inevitable that she would end up either at Cambridge or a top university either in Canada or the States. She still might after a couple of years in Cambridge, go to Harvard or Princeton. She is technically nearly an adult now and will be able to decide things for herself. Whether they will be the right decisions, I don't know because she lacks maturity but then that applies to many very clever people.

There was no more talk of my sabbatical either by Simon or the children and we all know Daddy doesn't want to lose me at the uni, so he kept quiet too. Looks like I'm here a bit longer, but without the long term commitment I once had. Perhaps I've just taken on board that nothing lasts forever, including university dynasties. It shook me up a little and made me think just a little about what I want to do in my later life and being still here isn't one of them. Simon could retire tomorrow and still be as rich as Croesus, but he actually loves the bank. Me, as I said am not sure what I want to do and I'm comfortably off in my own right. I could buy somewhere with a house and a bit of land and turn it into a nature reserve or wait for a nuclear warhead courtesy of that bastard in Russia.

Am I having a midlife crisis? Possibly; the only one who seems to understand me is Sammi who continues to flirt with the intelligence services and is equally undecided about what she wants to do. Conan-Doyle allowed Sherlock Holmes to retire to the south coast in Sussex to raise bees. It's used in the lovely 2015 film, 'Mister Holmes' starring Ian McKellen, which is one of my favourites to watch when I need to unwind, because McKellen is a wonderful actor and the supporting cast are good too, but watching him supposedly dealing with the onset of dementia, is truly brilliant acting, with just enough of a mystery to keep you interested and enough emotional pulls to have most women with tearful eyes if not actually weeping. I must watch it again sometime, Danni likes it and so does Sarah, so maybe we'll get some chocolate in and watch my video of it.

Sometimes even those of us who want to bring about change for the good of everybody as well as the planet, need a night off and a good weepie and some chocolate achieve that. Simon doesn't seem to understand, but then most men don't. I wonder if a certain Scottish writer does, but she wouldn't accept that transwomen are really very much like biological females, if we are allowed to be by the Taliban that she seems to invoke, stupid idiot.

I'm back to work on Monday where I'll have Diane harassing me to write an autobiography or a book of some sort, perhaps we'll have to invite to one of our girlie movie and chocolate evenings and get her to calm down, who knows. I looked out the window and noticed it was raining again, which means the water companies will be dumping yet more sewage in our rivers or out to sea polluting the coastal waters. A friend of mine used to suggest that you didn't swim at Bournemouth, you just went though the motions and finally a poor joke about ships. A cruise liner was having a life boat drill and one of the women passengers asked a junior officer if it was really necessary. He told her it was and could save her life as ships do sink. The lady looked at him and asked does this happen often, and he replied, "No madam, not often, just once."(Thanks to Karin Bishop for the old joke).

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3430 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`
Easter was over so no more holidays until May bank holiday or Spring bank holiday, which was the old Whitsun one. Amazing, I loathe religions but I regret the passing of the names of the holidays, typical hypocrite, I surmised.

Diane was dealing with the post we had received, a collection of three or four days worth, it was quite a pile. Amongst all this verbiage was a personal letter to me. Usually they are from students or their parents looking for a university place, often because their A-levels aren't quite what they had hope, so instead of going to Oxbridge, they write to lesser known unis to try to get on a degree course. I invited Diane to deal with my personal letter while I sneaked off to my office hoping for a snooze or a cuppa if I didn't distract her too much.

Ten minutes later she appeared with a cuppa and my letter which she dropped on my desk, "It really is a personal letter," she said placing my mug on the coaster on my desk.

"That doesn't usually stop you," I quipped meaning that she usually answered on my behalf and I could ignore said correspondence. I picked up the letter, it was hand written on quite nice paper, it was almost an anachronism. Hardly anyone writes letters these days, it's all social media or emails, or if they do write it's on derivative copier paper using a computer which may even produce the signature at the bottom.

I read the contents and could see why she handed it on to me. It was from someone with whom I'd been in school.

'Dear Professor Watts,

You may not remember me, but we were in the same class for several subjects back in Bristol. I can remember you were always in trouble with Murray, the psychopath, and I could never understand how he couldn't see you were really a girl, you gave him so many clues, but his homophobia seemed to make him blind to them. I remember a very clever and attractive girl who was still in the process of discovering who she was, and I can recall you appearing on telly with Simon who was your fiancé, I believe you married him subsequently and I assume it would be in the papers if you had split, but I've seen nothing and hope you are very happy together.

I myself am happily married to Susan with whom I have two children and it is one of these that caused me to write. Like you my son, Paul, has been showing several feminine traits over the years, he is now 16 and is starting to think he may be the wrong gender. Sue and I wonder if that might be the case, so we have parcelled him off to several psychiatrists and psychologists for opinions. He is very shy, as I recall you were, and he doesn't seem to have hit it off with any of those he has so far met. He says perhaps he or should it be, 'she', would like to talk to someone who has been through the transition and your name came to me.

We have allowed him to cross-dress at home and he looks quite presentable as a female, not possibly as attractive as you were in the Lady Macbeth episodes, but I think possibly he could transition to female without too many problems.

It is now affecting him and his schooling and I would very much like your help. I know that successful transsexuals don't want to be reminded of their pasts but we are getting desperate, so please can you help us?

Yours sincerely,
John Barrett.'

I sat and thought about who John Barrett was, if I recalled him correctly, he was a rather quiet studious sort who didn't hang around much with the bullies and the jocks, as they call them in America; he was friendly with one or two of the quieter boys, but I could be wrong. Now, what do I do about this letter? I wasn't sure, part of me felt a need to help others although nobody much helped me until I nearly finished university and Prof Herbert sent me to see Tom, who he knew had dealt with gender identity confusion in his daughter. It was the best thing he could have done and I emerged as Cathy a few months later, especially after running into Stella, or rather she ran into me. I wanted to help but at the same time I did want to think I had finished with this as the kids had grown up, including the trans ones.

I saw that J.K.Rowling had named me and listed me as a man and someone had written and told her I was twice the woman she would ever be. I wanted to forget my previous status but knew that we all had a responsibility to the future generation. I was stuck with a real dilemma, I didn't feel anything for John Barrett, who as far as I know had never interacted with me, except we shared the dissection of a rat if I remembered it right. Yes I did, because he was taken ill after we got the abdominal cavity open and the intestines all displayed. I think I finished the dissection on my own and thoroughly enjoyed it then, despite my feminine traits and I did some good drawings of various bits, including making microscope slides of several of the organs. It was probably the thing I excelled in and got top marks for it which prepared me well for doing it at university. Again, I was in a class of my own as even the lecturer asked me to do some for him at various times, because mine were better than his.

Diane came back with more tea as I had reread the letter perhaps a dozen times. "Well, you going to help him or not?"

"I think you mean am I going to help his child?"

"Indirectly, that's what I asked didn't I?" It wasn't worth getting into an argument over so I said nothing. "Your diary is relatively quiet for a week or so but we start exams in a month's time, so perhaps you'd like to do something soon. I think they'd really appreciate that. I looked at the address, it was on the outskirts of Bristol and I suppose I could check my parent's old house while I was up there. Maybe, I could do an inspection of Des's old place too. As I was thinking this she said, "How about I phone them and see if they'd like to come here or would you prefer to go and see them?"

"I don't know, I'm really undecided."

"Right, I'll phone and decide for you." Before I could say anything she was gone. I drank my tea and wandered out to her office where she was on the phone, "Yes, Mrs Barrett, so Monday is best for you, I think Professor Watts can accommodate that, shall we say ten, right ten it is. Bye."

"What have you just agreed to?"

She was writing in my diary, Bristol trip to see John Barrett, re son. "There, that should be plain enough for you. I looked at the page and felt a dread overwhelm me, some of my encounters with old school colleagues were disastrous, the one that ended with a corpse in my laboratory was one such, and probably the most disastrous. I know when i saw the devastation upon the faces of his parents, the Marlene episode was especially sad. I didn't want to repeat it, as well I was aware that school was miserable, I made a firm friend of Siân and we were still friends. That reminded me, I must go and see her and Kirsty soon and see the baby they have. Anyway, school was miserable, uni allowed me some freedom from my parents but it was also when my father beat me up twice including badly enough to make me consider suicide, which again caused Tom to learn of my gender uncertainty. But after that the fact that I was AIS, caused me to miss a male puberty and meant my response to oestrogens was spectacular, to say the least, meaning I developed into a very female type adult, so transition was relatively easy. Paul Barrett almost certainly, will not be like that or the odds against are very high, even if his father considers him to be quite passable as female, I could be a little more realist and thus more critical, not that I'm any sort of expert, just a graduate from the school of gender incongruence, with so I am told, a very high mark in the practical.

The rest of the week we reverted back to university business and had no further letters concerning children who were different. If there was any excitement it was Diane dealing with a final year student who broke a leg skiing in Austria and how we were going to accommodate them for exams. We agreed, they should be much more mobile by exam time and secretly, didn't have much sympathy for someone who'd flaunted their wealth throughout the course, as if real life had caught them up and they should be more understanding of students who sacrificed lots to do a degree and therefore couldn't afford to fly off for holidays several times a year. That's how the other half live, I thought before realising that I was probably wealthier than any of my students or their parents and if we include Simon's pay, probably than the university as well.

I'd mentioned as a grumble that Diane had dropped me in it with the family up in Bristol and of course they wanted to know why. I reminded them that I was a scientist not a psychiatrist. They fired back that I was trans myself, as were seven of my daughters, so I should know a bit about it, including taking on various establishments including the FA, using Jason and his law firm. I did think about suing J.K.Rowling after she deliberately misgendered me, but Jason advised against it, as she would eventually get tired of it and go and write a new book, at which I said perhaps she should take writing lessons, his reply was unprintable but he laughed.

I decided I would drive up on Sunday afternoon and spend some time cleaning the house, Danni asked if she could come too. I asked her how her leg was and she told me she'd cope and perhaps I could do some healing on it. I had almost forgotten about that and wondered if I still could. She told me that there was one way to find out. I spent an hour trying to improve her leg which she said did feel easier but I personally thought I had lost much of whatever healing power I once had.

Much to my astonishment, she was walking and running much better the next day, so maybe I hadn't lost it, I had however lost confidence in my abilities, so perhaps that was the real story. Either way Danni and I set off for Bristol on Sunday afternoon, checking out where the Barretts lived (no it wasn't Wimpole Street) as we went to my old house, complete with a big box of food and perishables that David had put together for me. Danni took one look at it and declared it far too much for our needs but David wouldn't have it. Too much it may have been, but by the time we got to my old house, she'd eaten half the apples and strawberries and then asked what was for tea. She doesn't gain any weight, which may change as she gets older, I didn't until I got to my late thirties, but at the moment, she just runs it off playing football (Association type before the American hijack of the name).

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3431 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`

We unloaded the car and put the stuff in the fridge or freezer. I knocked up a meal while Danni pushed the vacuum cleaner about. It wasn't dirty just a little dusty as no one was living here full time, I did contemplate perhaps letting it to at least cover the local rates, but the thought of someone, a complete stranger sleeping in my parent's bed made me feel quite strange, and I suppose I felt the same about my old bed. No, for the moment I'd leave things as they were and it would remain my family home, even if at times I had been less than happy there. To Danni of course, it was just her mother's old house and were I to croak, she'd think nothing of selling it. My home now was Daddy's farmhouse, back in Portsmouth, although sometimes Simon suggests we should have our own, I'm quite happy there, and I know the children are, so I think I'd like to keep that as my main home, remember I also have Mr Whitehead's old house. I would have loved to know him better when I thought about it, but was suspicious of teachers generally, possibly because my own experience had been very uncomfortable. Having said that my relationship with Whitehead had actually always been fair if not always comfortable. I also wished I had met his wife, she sounded a nice lady. Oh well, back to doing something for tea.

I peeled some spuds and made some mash, then creamed it to have with the sausages David had sent up in the 'food parcel'. We had sausage and mash with some broad beans for tea and enjoyed them. David knows a farmer who has his own pigs which are organic, slaughters them himself, does various pork joints, makes his own ham and bacon and also his own sausages. They are really tasty, have no breadcrumbs in them and very little gristle. They are expensive but we know they are very good; that the pigs have had a good life until slaughter and that is reflected in the quality of the meat he sells.

We chatted about my meeting tomorrow and Danni asked if I wanted her to come with me. I wondered if that would be good or not. I wondered if I should call them and ask. She told me she would come with me and if necessary would sit in the car with her Kindle, she also had the radio if she wanted it. I said I would play it by ear because she wasn't really transgender, unless one considered her elements of makeup and dressing as female prior to Pia attacking her. The fact that she has taken to being a young woman so well, perhaps demonstrates she was more TG than she admits or than she realises, and although she isn't in Trish's intellectual class, few are, she was pretty bright and was expected to get a decent degree.

We shared a bed to save on washing and we both slept well, she was still asleep when I awoke the next day at six o'clock. I lay there for a while before rising and going in the shower. I had tried to rehearse what I revealed about myself and Danni if she came in with me and realised it was better to just go with the flow, this meeting wasn't about me, it was for Paul. My issues were largely settled, Paul's weren't and we were there to try and help him. Having decided that I wasn't there to solve someone's problems but perhaps offer some advice, I felt more relaxed and enjoyed my shower.

Danni got up while I was showering and put the kettle on; we had tea as soon as I was dressed. I wore some jeans, I had skirts and dresses with me, but I was off-duty and dressed like I did at home. We had toast and banana for breakfast and Danni went off showered and dressed in leggings and a top with a black hoodie over the top. I had a leather bum freezer jacket with me, I'd wear that. We weren't that far from the Barrett's house but Bristol has some of the worst traffic congestion in the UK, and also a traffic restriction zone in the middle, where you have to pay if your car isn't within a certain group. My Jaguar would probably mean I had to pay if we crossed town but I knew a route that would avoid the zone and get us safely to their house. We left at half past nine and arrived only ten minutes early. I parked down the road a little and Danni and I discussed what we thought would happen. Ten minutes later I moved the car to outside the Barrett's house. It was quite comfortable looking so John was doing okay, that relieved me a little so he could probably afford private doctors, not always the best option but as least it was an option.

I left the car and rang the bell, I hate to think what my blood pressure was doing but it was possibly worse for Paul. John opened the door had spotted Danni and asked if she wanted to come in as well. I beckoned her and she came to join me.

Introductions over, we were offered tea or coffee and I opted for the latter. Danni asked for tea and while someone got our drinks we were led into the lounge. His wife appeared with the drinks and handing to us she thanked us for coming as they were running out of ideas with Paul. She blushed as she told us this but we reassured her we would help if we could.

"You're a professor now aren't you? How about you Danni?"

I'm in my final year of a biology degree and I play soccer for Bournemouth Ladies.."

"Wow, a professional soccer player." gasped Mrs Barrett.

"She's an England International," said John Barrett.

"Crikey," she said in surprise.

"Don't you remember all the fuss when the Dutch tried to stop her playing?"

"Not really, sorry, I don't follow football," admitted Sue.

"Ah, here she is," said John when a rather embarrassed young woman wearing a short flowery skirt and top entered the room, she was blushing like a pillar box. He introduced us to her and she nodded and sat down next to her mother.

"Are you Danni Cameron?" she said to my daughter.

"Yeah, why."

"You're one of my heroes - um heroines, when you played for England."

"What do we call you?" I asked trying to deflect the attention from my daughter.

"Oh, I'm Abigail, or Abi if you like."

"Nice to meet you, Abi. I'm Cathy and you seem to know Danielle, my daughter."

Abi nodded again to acknowledge what I'd said.

"Both you and Danni are two of the prettiest women I have met, how could anyone doubt that you're female?"

I shrugged. "It's all become very toxic and they stopped prescriptions of blockers; it's crazy but it has become a political football and it's very easy for bigots in government to copy the Americans, as we are an easy target, perhaps more obvious than gay people, so they kick us with impunity."

"You mean like silly feminists and their ilk?"

"If you mean a very wealthy author and bigot, Sue, yes."

"Why is she so popular?"

"Popular rarely means the best or most intelligent. If it did it wouldn't be popular, I hate to say it but the common herd is not always very discerning and I find myself tending to avoid it preferring to make my own judgement on various things. So I am not always aware of the latest Taylor Swift offering or some moronic rapper who I can't even understand."

"Taylor Swift has a new album out, she's okay having stood up for minorities in the past." Abi offered her take and Danni nodded.

"I wish she'd come out against the orange ape," said Danni.

"Perhaps she will support Biden, it would help his cause no end," John added.

We talked for two hours, Danni and Abi got on well together and I found John and Sue to be caring parents, who were worried by the latest politicizing of what is a personal issue between a child or adolescent, their parents and mental health professionals. We agreed that we were in support of standards of care as per the Cass report, but against the polarisation of it.

They admitted they had run out of professionals to take Abi to, and I had an idea. "Mind if I make a phone call a minute?" Abi and Danni had gone off to look at her wardrobe, Abi asking Danni for her advice on her limited range of clothing."

I walked outside and phoned Steph. Amazingly she was between patients and able to talk. "Look, I 'm talking to the parents of a transgendered son, who have tried all the local shrinks and she says she doesn't like any of them."

"So what do you want me to do about it."

"I think if she met you, she'd like you."

"It's not guaranteed, and does she live in our catchment area."

"No, they live in Bristol but they could see you privately."

"I don't know, it usually doesn't bode well to be so far from the doctor supervising them."

"Look, would you just see her as a one-off, that wouldn't commit either of you, and perhaps if she wants to work with you, you could make arrangements to take over her therapy if it was convenient."

"I don't know, Cathy, I'd like to help but I really don't think I can."

"Please, for me, Steph, I have a feeling you may be what she needs to move on."

"It'll cost you."

"Her father will pay your bill."

"Yeah, but I expect an invite to one of David's dinners in the next week or two."

"Done, bless you girl and thanks."

I re-entered the house just as we were having more tea, so after a quick comfort-break I disclosed my plan to John and Sue.

"I have just spoken to probably the most lovely paediatric psychiatrist in southern England. I have got her to agree to see Abi for a consultation, if she thinks that they can work together, she may take her on. I'm afraid it's in Portsmouth and you'd have to see her privately, but she is brilliant. Ask Danni what she's like, she helped her deal with a very difficult situation."

The girls were summoned back to us and they asked about Stephanie. Danni exhorted her skills and her pleasant manner and said she didn't see her much now because she was living as a woman with few problems but if she needed to see anyone, it would be Stephanie Cauldwell.

The parents were undecided, the distance and the cost all figured in their opinions. However, Abi suggested that because Danni had been so positive, she wanted to give it a try. "How much does she charge?"

"She doesn't come cheap but she is possibly the best psychiatrist you'll ever meet."

"And she's willing to just do a one-off or more if we agree with it."

"That's what she said."

"We have a daughter too, she is at Uni, Nottingham, so money is an issue but we've got to try and sort, Paul, I mean Abi out before much longer. It's really affecting her. Okay, let's go for it, it may just work."

I rang Stephanie's number and made an appointment there and then, I passed the phone to John and they discussed fees with Steph's receptionist who acts as a secretary, or should that be a secretary who acts as receptionist, sometimes.

John thought her charges were average and much less than a clown in London had been. I decided that we had helped them as much as we could and we made our goodbyes, Danni signing a photograph to Abi, which made her day.

We set off for Portsmouth, I thanked Danni for her contribution. Her reply surprised me. "Did you feel Abi taking your energy?"

"I felt it flowing gently but assumed it was to the whole household."

"No it was to Abi, she was shitting herself until it calmed her down."

"You could see it?"

"Yeah, but no-one else was aware of it. I think they needed to see Dr Stephanie and the universe called us to make it happen."

"That's a different take to mine, but it works just as well, girl."

"I know these things," she said sounding like Trish and I just burst out laughing, so did she.

"You did really well with Abi, you know."

"All in a day's work for a superstar," she said and started laughing again. She really was a nice girl and very pretty too and I loved her to bits.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3432 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`
286 dozen for those who thought I had lost count (not just the plot).

We returned to Portsmouth in good spirits, I wondered if Danni had been right, it was the universe or some other hitherto unseen power that needed Abi to meet with Stephanie, but what a roundabout way for it to happen. Again the name of the Shekinah crossed the couple of functioning brain cells, I term my mind. I know I am supposed to be an agent of said Old Testament goddess, but would she really need me to get involved when she should be able to make it happen all by herself? If it was her handiwork, and it could be, why did she need me? Then, I didn't pretend to understand all the ramifications. Looking at it simplistically, my usual modus operandi, how would Abi normally meet Stephanie? To start with, neither would even be aware of the other's existence. I suppose if they did a search for paediatric mental health experts with expertise in treating gender dysphoria, they may have found her but I suspect the distance may prevent them trying to see her or without my asking her to see them as a favour, she may not have agreed to it.

She is a friend of mine, or at least I consider her to be one, and although we rarely have much purely social contact, we have a positive regard toward each other. It's just we are so busy. As we approached our house I remembered Henry had asked me for some new green issue that he could use to make High Street a bit different to the other clearing banks; we'd done the energy saving thing, we'd done sponsorship of films, we'd done the dormouse account for children in which they had got a free dormouse book as soon as they opened an account. I had written one specially with lots of pictures in it, mainly my photos, and lots of facts about dormice made as palatable as I could make them, plus how they were helping the bank to be the greenest one by saving with them, as the interest on the money they deposited was used to sponsor environmental projects, the bank making nothing from it and it even cost them money to print thousands of the books. However, the bank wasn't entirely altruistic and their intent was long term because customers rarely changed banks without good reason, child customers may well become adult ones, and that was when the bank might make money from them. I didn't particularly think it was underhand, just long term planning, an unusual item these days. Now I had to think of another scheme to earn my salary and bonus as a director as well as keep the bank in front of its competitors. Oh boy.

I came up with something about having mortgages to be half a per cent lower if they were to buy a house with an environmental feature such as photo electric cells on the roof, or extra insulation, or a heat pump. We also offered a special rate on loans to fit any of these things to an existing property.

To see how much difference it made, we had the roof covered in solar panels on all south facing surfaces. It altered our consumption of electricity and usually netted a few quid as any surplus went to the grid. I had figures and I could use them in a paper for the bank's board and even went so far as to suggest every director's house should be similarly clad, with preferential loans to fund them. Some already had them, some weren't interested and some were hostile to it despite my figures of savings to be made. An alternative idea was to place the solar panels on the roofs of the buildings in which our banks were situated, where it was possible or feasible.

Henry liked both suggestions and thought how much publicity could be gained by having truly greener banks and senior staff. It needed the support of the other directors because they would have to consent to having solar panels on their houses and I had to accept that not all the properties would be in a setting where they would ever gain a profit from such panels. But at least it showed Henry that I was trying to come up with new ideas. The truth was that not all directors thought the green bank was a real benefit and Simon had been able to give me figures he'd collected to show that all previous suggestions had saved money or drew in fresh customers and that the publicity was beginning to work in the minds of the public. Projections for how the new suggestions would not cost the bank and may even generate profits was its main selling point and the board agreed to run a pilot. Henry winked at me which meant I needed to tweak the pilot to gain their acceptance at a future meeting. It was suggested it run for six months. Meanwhile I had another scheme in mind, that our customers got a discount for purchasing bird boxes to fit to their house or garden from a particular supplier. Again it was pooh-poohed by the anti green board members. But this one I knew would work and would not cost us anything, all I had to do was get the supplier to agree to a reasonable discount and have enough stock of a range of boxes.

I had had two lunches with the chief shareholder come chief executive of the supplier and once we got bird boxes accepted, we would look at most of their stock. The benefit to them was free advertising from a bank, and access to our customers once they purchased something. We had agreed that they would only be discreet adverts to existing customers, which they tended to pursue anyway.

Banks have always done deals with insurance companies and other financial services providers, many of them being a division of a bank or allied to it. My idea was just to widen that service and to try and improve the environment at the same time. I had also produced the draft of a series of leaflets we could offer to make a garden more wildlife friendly, again aimed at mainly children but emphasising our reputation as the green bank and one that cares about the environment and giving nature a helping hand.

We broke for lunch. Meals at board level were amazing, always some sort of buffet but with things like smoked salmon and freshly roasted chicken pieces, with new potatoes and salads and extremely fattening desserts. I always stuck with fruit salad after some tuna rolls of hand-baked wholegrain bread.

I had been sitting with Henry but he decided to get up and circulate. His seat was taken by the arch sceptic, George Fairclough. "You don't actually believe all the rubbish you spout about environmental issues do you? I mean, global warming is a lie and all these other things are just gimmicks aren't they?"

"No, the science I present is all correct. I go to some efforts to make sure all my facts are validated by a reputable source and my own research is validated by a reputable third party."

"Aren't we just in a natural cycle?"

"That could be a factor but all the evidence from several sources show that fossil fuel burning is the cause of accelerated climate change, and the most recent evidence tends to suggest it started earlier than we thought."

"Yeah, sure, how could they tell us what things were like ten thousand years ago, or even as recent as a hundred?"

"We have records for a hundred years ago, courtesy of the met office, earlier times we know from ice core samples from that period, or oceanic mud core samples."

"Oh come on, how can we believe that?"

"I have seen both ice core samples and oceanic ones, the latter are analysed at NOC at Southampton They have something like three kilometres of core samples and are one of the main repositories in Europe, if not the world, with all sorts of fancy kit to carry out tests. They use various dating methods, including spectrometer and radiographic methods and for the oceanic cores they also do analysis of foraminifera as fossils, using a scanning electron microscope, which can magnify up to ten thousand times and do all sorts of clever things.

"Also they collect data on sea temperatures from all over the planet and all are showing a rise in both the amount of temperature and that of carbon dioxide in the seas. The temperatures at both poles are alarmingly high and the ice is melting at both ice caps. It's quite worrying."

"Hasn't all this been shown to be a hoax?"

Oh dear, it looks like we have a climate denier. They believe the conspiracy theories by assorted lunatics and cynics on social media much of which is promulgated by oil companies or funded by them. It's like listening to the water companies pleading poverty when asked to sort the waste water problems, mainly because they have ripped off the huge profits from customers and paid themselves and their shareholders vast dividends and bonuses. In other words, when they saw the way the public opinion was going, they sent it out of the country. All the companies are owned by foreign parent companies so they see us just as cash cows. The oil companies have been spreading disinformation about climate change and atmospheric gases for at least forty years. They are all liars and deserve prison sentences for corruption but they are so rich, they can threaten to destroy governments overnight if they so choose.

I told him my truth and with my smartphone called up all sorts of data to prove my case, he called up Facebook and showed some of the figures he had been using. I didn't accuse him of being an idiot, although most Facebook users come into that category or paedophiles, or vaccine deniers. While it's tempting to label them all as stupid, because there are some very clever people in the background, funding and writing plausible if entirely misleading facts. If you haven't a background in science or maths and can't properly analyse these misleading data it's easy to be manipulated into believing them.

I wouldn't go so far as calling the believers idiots, but they aren't usually too bright and they can cause problems. Reading the wrong newspaper can also reinforce prejudices and we tend to be drawn to those media that preserve our view of the world, even if we will ultimately die because we didn't do anything about various issues. It strikes me as unfortunate that children who haven't been vaccinated because of parental disbelief in the advantages and protection of vaccination, die as a consequence. If that happens surely they should be prosecuted for neglect or contributory manslaughter?

Ignoring the scientific evidence doesn't make it go away, it just means you may die because of the ignorance. Governments don't want to take action on climate because it will cost money and are sometimes unpopular, but we are fast approaching a tipping point and then it will be too late. I think we may have already passed it.

In terms of wildlife issues biodiversity continues to drop, a recent survey by the invertebrate charity on the front number plates of cars, looking at the area covered by dead insects, suggests insects have now declined by 80%. We are going to be affected soon because crops pollinated by them will also be in decline and food shortages, like those caused by climate change, will make some start to notice the fact that they can't get all the things they want to eat, possibly leading in the worst scenario of not getting enough food.

Couple all this with populist dictators running a number of countries, who are usually climate deniers, and life is going to be a struggle for increasing numbers of people, not to mention freak weather of excess heat, or rain, or floods, wildfires, mudslides etc, all caused by climate change much of which is attributable to greed, though I doubt that is consolation to someone whose house has just burned down in a wildfire.

I didn't try to tell any of this to George because he wouldn't listen. He's convinced himself in the rightness of his argument, that fact that it's built on lies and fake news doesn't matter. I can only tell my truth as I see it, with scientific evidence and verifiable facts, if people won't listen because they prefer to pay heed to lies, I hope they don't have grandchildren who will pay an awful price for their gullibility. Wonderful innit?

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3433 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`
Henry decided because there seemed to be some dissent in the camp, that they would reflect upon my suggestions and return to them at the next meeting. George had won a postponement but the world wasn't listening and extremes of weather would continue as would the plight of thousands if not millions who had the misfortune to live in the affected areas and who may perish through flood or landslide, or face famine as a result of such things. I had tried to warn of the perils of climate change but had been ignored as costing too much. I wondered what price they put on their own lives or the lives of their families, because sooner or later some would pay that price.

In Britain we are relatively lucky though we have had fires and floods happen increasingly in recent years, so it can happen here, perhaps. However what is certain is, that the very wet weather we have had over this winter just gone, means that crops have been affected and things like wheat and potatoes, will rise in price accordingly, which will make bread more expensive. That won't be more than an inconvenience for me, but the poor, struggling families will struggle even more.

In recent council elections, the Tories got hammered. So Labour will probably win the next election when the date is determined. I wonder if the Tories are limping on as long as possible to cause as many problems for the new government, when the election happens. It's the sort of spiteful thing the Tories would do. I hope they never form a government again, because the damage they have done to the environment is going to take years to correct if it's even possible. Big business like oil companies and water suppliers have made huge profits over the last decade or two, usually at the expense of the environment. I should like to see prison sentences handed out for repeat offenders and they should be forced to serve the full term, and the ones jailed should be the chief executives. Similar custodial sentences should fall upon land owners and farmers who persecute birds of prey or spoil waterways. If you jail Lord Snotty because he failed to stop his gamekeepers shooting hen harriers or eagles, it will soon stop and he will never do it again, especially if you make it sentence without appeal.

I had a phone call from Sue, Abi's mother, they had just been to see Stephanie and thought she was wonderful. It wasn't cheap but Abi really likes her and thought she could work with her. I was glad that someone shared my view of Stephanie who was my friend as well as my children's therapist. Certainly, she had really helped my kids deal with the dilemmas and problems associated with being gender different, many of which you neither foresee or anticipate until they happen. Because I worry so much about my kids, she has also helped ease my mind at times and the fact that we must owe her thousands for her professional help, which she has never charged us for because I fostered then adopted children with issues that no one else wanted, she said she was helping me with that cost. My children love her and she is one of my closest friends.

Stella, now seems to have recovered from the death of her fiancé, who if you will remember died from an explosion in a cottage he was renting. The bomb, was of dynamite made to look like a gas explosion. He was dead before the explosion after a blunt instrument was used to bash his head, it turned out to be a local quarry owner who Gareth had stopped expanding because of environmental concerns about a woodland that was situated on the planned expansion site.

It was awful all round. The original quarry owner committed suicide, his son murdered Gareth, his mother subsequently shot him while I was trying to subdue him, and James nearly died at the quarry having been imprisoned in an old outhouse that filled with water. I nearly went mad trying to get someone to rescue him, the police didn't want to know because it was dark and considered too dangerous. James was rescued in the end but he was close to death either from severe hypothermia or the drowning that would have occurred as time progressed.

He's another friend of mine, although we only usually see each other when I have need of his services. He is an investigator extraordinaire who will risk danger for me. His mother is as batty as any belfry I've ever seen, which may explain some of his eccentricity, but he is at times rash, very brave and also good fun, when we aren't just trying to stay alive. He almost certainly saved my life against an organised crime gang called the 'South Bank Show,' and I returned the favour by keeping him alive after he had been shot several times. Boy, that was an experience I didn't want to repeat, with him facing down a machine gun while returning fire from his Magnum, which he reckoned could shoot through an engine block.

At their next appointment with Stephanie, Sue arranged to meet me for coffee while Abi was seeing Stephanie. We had just the right amount of time, as she usually takes an hour per appointment. I know a reasonable coffee shop just down the road from Stephanie's clinic and we met there. Sue, was a little anxious as Abi wanted to return to school in her female persona. Sue wasn't so sure, neither was John, so Abi was trying to get Stephanie's support for the venture. Sue kept asking me if Stephanie would support it and though I knew her very well, I couldn't predict what she would do. I suggested she may tell her to wait until the next school year started and to maybe change school. Turned out I was right, Abi was disgusted but we ameliorated her disappointment by inviting her to spend a weekend at our house after Danni had finished playing soccer for the season. Abi thought Danni was special for her England appearances despite being having changed gender. Danni told her that I had helped quite a bit and so had my lawyers. Of course, the academic year ends well before the football season does so Danni was prepared to tolerate her slightly younger fan, though she found the attention a little embarrassing. If you add 'very' to that sentence, it probably described my position about being the centre of attention.

Henry had told me after the board meeting to keep researching my paper as he thought that the next natural disaster linked to climate change would provide an opportunity to 'slay' the climate deniers and he would be able to get some of my suggestions through. He was committed to being seen as the greenest bank and Simon was also a supporter and I don't mean because he was my husband. He was a moderniser and although Henry often stopped his ideas because he thought the bank was unready, Simon kept thinking how we could be greener and more efficient without being too automated or internet dependent, as many banks were.

Trish was looking forward to attending Cambridge University in the autumn; she had done her PhD in just a couple of years and I had promised I would support her application if she did her doctorate with us first. I had hoped to buy an extra year to give her a chance to mature as she would be away from home for a large part of the next few years.

She was going to St Augustine's College, or Gussies as they nicknamed it. It was older than Darwin College but much younger than Kings College or Christchurch College. Henry had kept his promise to buy a house in Cambridge which she could use while she was there, providing she looked after it. He was worried about student parties and other social events, but she assured him she was there to study particle physics - yeah, easy not. She had written to Professor Brian Cox at Manchester University, and he told her to go for it and he would try and help if she got stuck and her personal tutor couldn't sort it. That gave me a little encouragement. I was also encouraged that she had to keep a room in the house for visiting family, so I or one of the others could go and see her. I know Sammi had told her she may visit from London. I know they get on like a house on fire (what a stupid expression), though I hoped it would not involve any conflagration.

As if to prove her preparedness for Cambridge she had gone backpacking with some friends from uni; her latest text said she was in Portugal somewhere, I made her promise to text me at least once a week to let me know how she was. 'Having a ball,' was the response. Danni was tempted to go and meet her but she ended up going for a week to our villa on Menorca, once she had Abi visit. She planned to go with Sarah.

I looked at places in this country, so as not to be too far away from home should any of them need me, and I was trying to introduce Cate and Alice to holidays away from home. They both seemed uncertain, whereas Pudding and Fiona, Stella's two were excited about the possibility. I did consider Scotland, even possibly the castle at Stanebury, provided the midge season was over, so that could be late summer.

Danni and Sarah did consider it too, to perhaps give me a hand with the littlies, although Hannah said she didn't mind coming too as she had only been there once. I knew that whatever happened, if we did go to Stanebury we'd lay some flowers on Alison's grave. If you remember she was the teen who hanged herself in the woodland at the castle because she couldn't cope with the stress of fundamentalist parents and transitioning. I'd since heard that her horrible father had since died. I wasn't going to mourn him after the upset he caused for his daughter.

I also had a hankering to visit Dumfries again, I'd been once as an adult, but it was a pretty place and somewhere to visit the places of interest for Robert Burns, the Scottish poet who lived there for a while and died there. It was also the place of my birth and I was also tempted to see if I had any family left in the area, although sometimes they can be funny over my transition or my title, not that I'm at all snobbish and realise that most people only have access to limited funds unlike my wealthy inlaws. I also recognise that I had a good job and would be quite comfortable without Simon and Stella's super-rich parents. I sometimes wondered if Dumfries was somewhere I could live and then I thought about it being colder, darker and wetter and decided that a visit was much more likely.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3434 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`
Abi stayed for a week and Danni was very patient with her, being a few years older, more experienced and most importantly, more mature. She also had her own car and was able to take Abi about from under my feet, to see the local sites, not just the Spinnaker Tower, but the bridge and various other things and as well they went as far as Brighton.

Brighton is a bit like Glastonbury-on-sea, it's full of interesting people who consider themselves as individuals and thus not bound by the same rules as the rest of us. In Glastonbury, site of some of the Arthurian myths, and the rather outstanding tor, anything that can be used for marketing some form of spirituality, is done. It's full of the gullible looking for salvation, as well as being an entrance to the Mendips, a range of hills with very interesting geology, including the famous de la Beche angular unconformity, and loads of other places such as the famous Cheddar Gorge. Living in Bristol, I visited these places with my parents or with the school and probably still have the photos of them somewhere in a box or drawer up in the attic.

For those not geologically disposed, an unconformity is where the rocks don't lie in chronological sequence, so at Vallis Vale, where the de la Beche example is, there are rocks of Carboniferous limestone, which due to earth movement, probably the Variscan Orogeny, are lying at about 30 degrees to the vertical, with Jurassic limestone lying on top of them. 'So what?' you say, except that the carboniferous are roughly 400 million years old and the Jurassic are about 150 million years old, with nothing in between them, so rocks from the Triassic have completely disappeared through erosion. The sea has risen and dropped a couple of times because limestone is usually deposited in shallow oceans, and the Variscan orogeny is about mountain building, probably in Scotland, and the Mendips were squeezed up by enormous pressures, ultimately caused by plate tectonics, and those were many millions of years ago when Britain was somewhere near where Spain is today.

Going back to Glastonbury, the dress of people is as varied as it can be with hippies, flower people and some ordinary as well. Brighton is similarly as varied, with visitors and residents being a real assortment, and it is also known as the gay capital of Britain as well as having the only Green MP for a number of years. It also has the Royal Pavilion, a confection built by George IV while Prince Regent, as well as being a seaside town easily accessed from London. So staying with us in Portsmouth isn't just about a history of the Royal Navy, with Nelson's flagship, and other ships to see, including the Tudor 'Mary Rose', which sank while chasing off a French fleet with pretty well all hands lost.

So Abi had plenty to see and I know that Danni gave her the Cook's tour and looked after her very well. This was before she went off to Menorca and our villa there, with her sister Sarah, one of my later acquisitions if you remember and who is studying biology on the same course as Danni. According to the latest info from them, they have seen umpteen raptors and also the wild tortoises which are now protected. So it sounds as if they are having lots of fun.

Simon had as good as told me that he wouldn't be able to spare the time for a holiday anywhere and I was tempted to head for Stanebury for the last week or two in August. Jacquie would come with me, so would Julie who was looking for a short break. She would come for one week and Phoebe would come for the other to help with the littlies as well as have a week away from the salon. The salon was moving again to larger premises and they now had two extra stylists, both of whom trained with Julie or Phoebe. They were offering things like electrolysis and laser therapy for hair removal and that included a backroom for some of the shyer trans clients that they seemed to acquire. Living with a family with several originally trans sisters, they were quite user friendly for the shy types who were often still attending for treatment in male clothes.

It's funny that lots of people are used to seeing cross-dressers or transwomen and have no problems with them, while others, usually men, but not exclusively, seem to have a problem with them. I've never understood why, surely if someone isn't nice to look at, you walk away and carry on. It seems some can't do this without abusing them or worse, assaulting them and I can only think it says more about the abuser than the victim. Maybe if they are ever caught for assault or abuse the court should make more of this and make others think about it, as the only way to acceptance, or tolerance is by education and that means education. Of course the fact that the Tories and some women's groups, with narrow-minded celebrities like J K Rowling are not helping things, almost demonising transpeople, when it's really a distraction. I mean we are about to pass the tipping point of global warming, with scientists who study it saying we're missing the target of a maximum of 1.5 degree rise to a minimum of at least 2.5 degrees Celsius, wars in Ukraine, China menacing Taiwan and ethnic cleansing by Israel in Gaza. All should be tried for war crimes but it seems unlikely. The world is in a mess and it's only going to get worse but before common sense can prevail we need to rid ourselves of the bigots, even if they have written Harry Potter or invaded Ukraine or defrauded the tax man paying off their embarrassments, it also means educating the masses, stopping the deceit by religions and respecting the planet which is going to make many of us extinct in the next few decades. So obviously persecuting transpeople, especially children, is evidently the priority to put the world right - duh?

Why can't we all live in harmony? Why can't Muslim women dress like we western women can? Why can't women walk anywhere without fear? Why can't men learn that society is richer if women are seen as equals and why can't they control their dicks? Why? Because we are a nasty little ape, who thinks he is cleverer than he is and who has lost his moral compass substituting it with corruption and indignation, when he should be taking the mote out of his own eye.

There are apparently quite a few people who believe Revelation, the book in the Apocrypha without questioning it as being the rantings of a delusionary mind. They believe in a coming apocalypse as an Armageddon, a battle to be fought to the north of Israel. If instead of reading fairy stories from the bible, they read some ancient history, they'd know that Armageddon was fought about 600BC and won by the Hittites. Of course, these people live in America, what a surprise, but they seem able to indulge their delusions without the Republican party acting against them as they do trans children. Evidently, the latter are the cause of all wrongs and need to be persecuted. I'm still trying to understand that before suggesting that all Republicans and Tories be locked up under the mental health act.

I was sitting reflecting on all this when Hannah came into my study with Cate. "This little toad has just taken my CD and broken it."

I looked at the younger girl and asked her for her side of it, because, usually there are two sides and the truth. I wondered if we'd ever get to that. Cate looked at me and said that she hadn't broken Hannah's CD, but Lizzie had.

Hannah argued that it was Cate not Lizzie who was seen coming out of her bedroom and in the tussle that followed the CD became broken. Both girls became angry and shouted at each other. In the end I had to try and rule on their dispute like a high court judge. So I forbade Cate to go in Hannah's room again, and told Hannah to make a copy of the CD from the one that Trish had, but to put it back afterward. I didn't ever quite get to the bottom of it, but part of me thought bringing up boys couldn't be any harder.

I began to understand why Daddy used to work most evenings when he was professor of biology. It was because no matter how much you get through, there aren't enough hours in the day to do it all. I was here in my study dealing with things that should have been done in my office, when Julie and Phoebe invited themselves to dinner. They had told David beforehand so there was plenty of food. It was getting warmer so salmon with salad went down quite well.

Needless to say, my office work was forgotten as I had a good old chinwag with my two daughters. As we chatted I remembered how each had originally come to me and this seemed to run in my subconscious while I managed to stay focused enough in the conversation to stay with the others. David, who'd not found anyone after Ingrid, had stayed for the chat which varied from the latest television programmes to things happening in the real world. I was at a disadvantage because I watched so little television, I'd rather listen to radio or read. The girls watched it, sometimes squabbling over various programmes and it got so bad one night I confiscated the remote control and then forgot where I put it. So a day or so later Simon wanted to watch something and we couldn't find it. It was in my desk drawer hidden by some plain chocolate hobnobs, so he grabbed those too.

We talked about the forthcoming holiday and I mentioned that I wanted to do a sample of the aquatic insect larvae in the stream which ran down the woodland at Stanebury, so I'd be taking nets and trays and wellies with me. I had searched the records but couldn't find any entry relating to this particular stream. What I found up there could be very different to a similar stream down here. What was disappointing is that wherever we did it, numbers of species and individual numbers were likely to be down; we were fast approaching catastrophe in terms of biodiversity but no government seemed to care, all they worried about was getting re-elected.

Julie and Phoebe left and I asked them to make an appointment for me for a haircut and also a leg wax, I had seen my hairy legs one day this week when I wore a skirt. no a dress, to work and the fair hair stood out in the strong sunlight, Shaving, is so temporary, but waxing seems to last quite a while.

It was good to see them and Jacquie also enjoyed our chat; did I mention she got her degree and is thinking of doing a Masters in Women's Studies? I've offered to fund it for her, here at Portsmouth, but she's still deciding if she wants the hassle of further study, she is such a help to me but since the children got older she has more time for doing things.

I went into my study, packed up my papers and switched off my computer. I had no enthusiasm for more work tonight. I made a mental note that I'd have to finish my report for the board meeting at the bank. I was still a director and still trying to keep them on a green agenda, which Henry approved. It seemed that he really was keeping his word to the goddess, who I bargained with all those years ago to save him. That took me back to places I didn't wish to revisit. I switched off the light and went to bed, missing my man but he'd be home at the weekend with Sammi, who I also missed and perhaps the only one that Trish was respectful of for knowing more about computers than she did. I went to bed and worked through some more pleasant memories and fell asleep knowing the morning would be here before I was ready.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3435 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`
The report and subsequent directors' meeting came and went. The person who'd caused me such trouble at the last one was unavailable, so my building up to calling him a moron at this meeting was unnecessary and the meeting passed the ideas I'd made to further investigate how the bank could use them for the good of its customers and hopefully its own profits.

We hadn't had any direct interference from Russians although like many institutions in the West we had to deal with hackers which we knew were based in Russia and China, both evil regimes without a single aspect to redeem them. I suspect they will always be the same until their regimes fail possibly after a nuclear war in which there will be no winners. I don't think I want be one of those who survive, sitting in their bunkers waiting for the radiation to be low enough for them to emerge like woodlice from under stones, only to realise nothing they held dear exists anymore. It would be horrific, no dormice or wildlife, birds and many plants, like trees would be gone, just grass, flies and cockroaches. Ugh not for me.

Social evolution would suggest that totalitarian regimes ultimately fail, it doesn't however say when, and both have been there a long time which tends to suggest the common people in both countries must be either so strictly controlled they can't overthrow it, or they are so thick they don't realise there is a better way to run a country; just don't look at Britain or America because both of those are failing too.

I began to try and plan my holiday up at Stanebury and do some surveying of invertebrates in the stream. I'd spoken to various places like the Freshwater Biological Association to get a list of probable species as well as lists of books which may help me in identifying them. Then I had the dilemma of deciding whether I kept them at the castle for others to use or brought them back down here for our library. At least while I was contemplating this, I wasn't nuking China.

Diane broke my reverie, "You have a visitor," she announced.

"It's not in my diary." I knew this because I'd looked at it on her desk while she was doing the important stuff, like making the first cuppa. "Who is it?" I whispered but she just ignored me walking out of my door.

I waited anxiously to see who it was, also rather impatiently. Why I didn't know? If it was someone nice I could wait a couple more minutes, if it was someone nasty I could wait until going home time and tell them they were too late, come back next week.

The door opened and in walked Delia. Remember her? She was my temp secretary when I supposedly acted up when Tom went to cover for the dean. She had shown enormous enthusiasm for things biological and I had offered her a scholarship to do biology/ecology here. She had gone on to do a master's degree in ecological surveying at Bournemouth University and had come to say hello.

"How lovely to see you," I said meaning every word of it.

"I came to visit my mother and popped in on the off chance you were free, sorry I didn't phone first."

"No matter you're here now, Diane could you make us a cuppa and break out the chocolate hobnobs, let's celebrate." Diane went off to do my bidding while Delia gave me chapter and verse about her studies. She now had degrees in a subject she loved. She enquired if I could suggest some ecological firms I could recommend as she was looking to pay off her student loan.

"How about teaching?" I asked her but she didn't think her degrees were good enough. Diane came back with a tray of teas and biccies and we all settled down to eat and drink.

"This lady was my first ever secretary but was smitten by the dormice-bug and went over to the dark side and did a degree with us and then went off to do a master's at Bournemouth."

"Nice to meet you," offered Diane, "I take it you're not looking for your old job back?" That made me look at her sharply.

"No thanks, but I did enjoy myself working for Prof Watts, so much so that I wanted to learn more about the science I was dealing with."

"Di, do we still have that temporary vacancy with Melinda going on maternity leave?"

"We haven't advertised it yet, as we can't get her to give us a date for her to finish, HR have written us again about it."

"Fancy doing some maternity cover?" I asked Delia.

"Seriously?" she said to check I wasn't joking.

"I'm serious; by the time that runs out I'll try and kill off another one so we can give you a proper job."

She laughed and commented that my sense of humour hadn't improved. I told her that the offer was there and she would probably be better suited to teaching survey techniques than someone who was worried that everything in the natural world would affect her baby and who had got so large that she could no longer bend down to reach a Longworth trap if we were trapping small mammals.

Delia looked pensive. "I'd love to work with you again, but I don't know if I'd be good enough to teach."

"A maternity cover contract may give you a chance to find out."

"But I mean, working with the best, like yourself would show me up as a tyro. How could I deal with that?"

"You wouldn't likely be working with me."

"She's too high and mighty to get her hands dirty, these days." commented Diane.

"Not so much that I couldn't sack you," I said quietly.

"They'd miss me more than they would you," Di flung back at me.

"Bugger," I said she was probably right. "If they ever find out that you run this department, we're stuffed," I said pretending to be anxious. Diane and Delia both laughed at my pretend embarrassment.

"Well, the offer is there, let me know as soon as you can and you'll save us an advertiser's fee.

She thanked me for my generosity and left. Diane immediately asked about her. She'd heard rumours that I had given my secretary a degree. I told her I'd got her on a course because I knew she was interested and I thought she'd get the degree; she got a 2.1 which was good enough to get into Bournemouth. "She achieved it all on her own. I know she's a good worker and I'm sure she'd be fine in Melinda's job. Let's face it she's not exactly our most dependable lecturer and it's got worse since she's been pregnant."

"I'd have thought as a mother you'd be more supportive of Melinda?"

"I've raised two babies who were just a couple of weeks old, really young ones, so I do know about being the mother of an infant, I accept that pregnancy is a world I shall never experience but I think we have supported Melinda very well and she has played us for suckers as a consequence."

"You can't sack her for being pregnant."

"I know that Di and so does she, so she's giving us the run around. I'm going to ask HR to write to her and give us a date as we need to find a replacement while she's off on maternity leave. She owes us that much, if she decides that motherhood is more enjoyable than working for a living, I won't be sorry if she leaves us after she does the statutory return to work. She's something of a waste of space but getting rid of them is so difficult these days."

"You appointed her," said Diane accusatorily.

"I didn't, Tom did, she was the last one he appointed to the department, he's a sucker for a pretty girl and she is pretty."

"So what went wrong?"

"She was appointed to teach ecology, which she did in an average sort of way. When it came to running surveys she was woeful, I had to show her what to do several times, she was unprepared much of the time and had little idea what to do."

"Is that why you took her off surveys?"

"Yes, I taught those for her for a few months until I got Debbie to cover for me; she is very good as I suspect Delia would be."

"You're really fond of her, aren't you?"

"She's like a protégé and I watched how she worked as a student, who had done very little science. She worked harder than anyone else on the course. To see her succeed rewarded me tenfold and I'd like to see how good she is since she went from here. If it's as good as I suspect, she'll be very good for the department. I'm willing to take that risk."

"I hope you'll support me like that, professor."

"I have to, you know too much." I said this with a dead pan expression and it took a second for her to see the joke and to start laughing. As she went to leave I said, "Don't feel any sort of threat, she was a good secretary when I badly needed one but you are my secretary/pa now and I don't plan on changing that in the future, we are a team, I'm just trying to do the same with my teaching staff."

"Thank you prof, that means a lot to me."

"Right, wage slave, back to the grindstone and continue to make it look as if I know what I'm doing. Well, go on then..." She left me chuckling as she went. I say it as I find it, she's damned good and I don't want to lose her. Goodness, it's like appointing an ex-spouse, and having to pussyfoot around to avoid upsetting either of them.

The rest of the day went as expected and I brought home another load of work and I used to pity poor old Daddy with all he brought home, working far more hours than he was paid. I know the feeling now, not sure how long I shall continue doing it. I am committed to the department but not to the level that Tom was but then we didn't have a houseful of kids and teens in the original days. Seeing as I seem to do much of the domestic work except the cooking David does for me, I need some more help but it never seems to last though I don't know why, I try to be a good employer, I really do.

As I sat doing my work in my study with a tummy full of David's latest culinary delight, I decided I wasn't going to work every waking hour and that I sketched out a job description for a housekeeper. I was going to appoint some help or resign my job, this time I was deadly serious I don't want a stroke or a heart attack, so help or I go.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3436 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`
I felt quite pleased with myself; now if I can get Melinda to go on maternity leave and have Delia to cover for her my job would be very much easier, and if I could find a reliable housekeeper that David doesn't fall for (that means anything in skirts), my life could be much easier and I know Simon would fund it, but if push came to shove I'd fund it myself. I'm lucky that the bank will deal with all the admin over pensions and sick pay and will deduct tax and national insurance as well as superannuation or pension stuff to you and me. Simon would set it all up and one of our accountancy clerks would deal with the rest. They already run payroll services for several customers so they are quite used to it. For those selling goods or services they'll even deal with the dreaded VAT so there shouldn't be any embarrassing conversations with HMRC, though they are in the press again for taking too long to answer the phone to enquirers; apparently it worked out at something ridiculous like a twelve year wait for an answer. So the select committee told them to get their act together. I doubt they will, the Tories have cut the civil service to the bone and wonder why they are hated by everyone. It's the same with the NHS, the police and local councils, nothing works anymore or if it does it's a happy coincidence.

Still the moron in Number Ten, that is Downing Street, has decided to call a surprise election. The probability is that they will get stuffed so Tory MPs are declaring they won't stand at the next election in droves. They have been disgusting and corrupt for 14 years, so anyone who votes for them should be shoved in a strait-jacket and dumped in a padded cell for a minimum of five years.

However, there is a rise in the rightwing party, Reform. they are as nasty as the Republicans in the US and have some similar policies, especially aimed at things like migration. Its originator, Nigel Farage, him the liar and general shit stirrer who was partly responsible for Brexit, so it's going to be for Little Englanders and bigoted xenophobes but we seem to have plenty of those in the country. Like the Republicans, most seem to like kicking trans people or gays, so are inherently nasty usually affiliated to some crackpot church, so they have their god's backing which wants to make me laugh. Unfortunately, like Trump, they are absurd but can also be dangerous because they do represent some very sick-minded people who all have guns, especially in the US.

I was involved with a dormouse survey recently and we found four dormice all torpid and three were in nest boxes and one was in a nest tube. The latter was interesting in that dormice nests often have green-leaves woven into the nest, although we don't know why for certain, but the one in the nesting tube looked like it had built its nest of salad. I have never seen so much green stuff in a dormouse nest before. Despite the weather being a bit warmer, it was still largely wet and obviously too cold for these dormice. One of them was in a box which was absolutely full of grass and moss, obviously something like a wren had been there before and built a nest and it was only because I played a hunch and pulled out a large handful of the nesting material we discovered the dormouse had burrowed in and built a nest in all the vegetation the birds had carried in before.

Why I formed the hunch, I don't know, but I've had them before and I suspect it's just down to experience, like doctors make an unexpected diagnosis because they recognise something from a previous case they'd seen of it. It isn't something you can teach because it needs the experience to trigger it, but it showed that I am thinking and not just on autopilot when I am involved in surveys. I hope Delia takes me up on my offer as Melinda's maternity cover.

We have a bank holiday this weekend. It used be known as Whitsunday or Whitsuntide, originally supposed to celebrate or commemorate the Holy Ghost visiting Christ's disciples after his alleged ascension into Heaven. It shows how secular we have got that it's now called Late Spring Bank-holiday as opposed to the early one, which celebrates May Day, when our ancestors used to dance around maypoles. It's pure paganism and associated with fertility cults, or used to be. So how people can get all high and mighty about religion, or more commonly, their religion when it's clearly evident much of it is based on pagan ceremonies or rites including holy communion - fancy eating the body and drinking the blood of your god-king - isn't that cannibalism? But they can't see the absurdity of it because they are blind to it, as most bigots are.

We are into exams as soon as the weekend is over and I'm agreeable to invigilating for the odd exam but am trying to avoid any marking. I feel I've done my share and these days only expect to do marking of PhD scripts and dissertations and those are possibly even worse to mark because they are incredibly in-depth pieces of work and can be incredibly boring to read and you have to read them very closely because you have someone's career in your hands and you want them to succeed. Mind you, I have seen some that you wonder how the author got this far because they don't have much idea of either the hypothesis they are trying to prove or investigate let alone the standard of presentation expected at this level, and we can only allow a certain level of dementia before we have to return the piece of work to its author and tell them it's substandard. Always unpleasant to do and shows some poor mentoring, as a good tutor would pick it up much earlier and try to steer the research in more relevant areas. Oh the joys of higher education.

The lovely warm sunshine of Saturday and the gardening people did gave way to rain before nightfall with some heavy rain forecast, lighter rain tomorrow with the possibility of thunderstorms. We had thunder the other afternoon, it had no effect on Bramble, who continued her psychopathic activities but it did affect Kikki somewhat, she wanted to burrow under Trish's leg. All the animals are attracted to Trish, not sure why, but if she isn't available they sometimes come to me, especially if they are after food, although David is known to give them titbits when he's cooking. I wondered why Kikki was so fond of him, it seems a way to a spaniel's heart, is definitely though its stomach, but then I suspect you knew that anyway. Cats can be very friendly when they want something but decidedly aloof when they don't, except Bramble likes to be with Trish if she's not bashing the local wildlife.

So, earlier the air was alive with the sound of lawnmowers which annoyingly drowned out the sound of bumblebees on a cotoneaster bush we have in the garden. Every year at this time, it literally buzzes with buff-tails and white-tailed bumblebees. It would be easy to just call them Bombus lucorum the white tails but they are mixture of several varieties and are generally recorded as a lucorm complex as the differences are difficult to see even among experts, which I'm not by any stretch of the imagination.

I'm a bit better with aquatic insect larvae from my pond dipping days as a teenager. Nearly everyone thought I was a girl with my long hair and girl's dungarees which Dad bought by accident, he thought they were boy's ones. He'd heard my mother threatening me because I'd worn yet another hole in the knee of my jeans. She made me repair it with a patch from a previous pair I had caught on a barbed wire fence while out birdwatching and tore the seat out of them. They were pretty well irreparable and although Mum was a good seamstress, they were only good enough for chopping up for patches for other pairs, as I was doing now. My sewing was as good as any girl's because she wouldn't let me skimp on it, it had to be perfect. Then I used to grumble, now I thank her, my sewing though mainly basic, usually repairs, is pretty good and often better than lots of places who offer repairs, often cleaners. If it can't be done on a machine, like simple split seams or zips they don't want to know and charge the earth for it.
So I tend to do my own if it's not too complicated, especially things like hems which I was horrified to learn that Stella couldn't repair a simple hem or was she just lazy and relatively cunning, letting muggins do it for her, while she patted my head and watched me wag my tail? I didn't learn because when she needed a hem done I offered again, presumably trying to prove my girliness. Now I can see I might have been just a sucker.

Anyway, those of my girls that I have taught to sew, do it properly. I'm not quite as strict as my mother was with me but I want them to be competent and those who are in school tend to suggest, where they have done any sewing in school, that they are taught much the same way as I was and what I have taught them is correct. It's always nice to have something verified by a supposed expert because I'm certainly not.

Anyway back to my pond dipping days and those dungarees. I wore them for ages and eventually wore the seat out, they were a pain to go to the loo because you almost had to take them off to go, they were rather generous in the bum but then I was starting to grow hips and they didn't look silly, and with my long hair I suppose I did look a bit like a girl, well quite a big bit like one, but it never worried me and I told you that the RSPB young ornithologists were convinced I was a girl, pretending to be a boy or a tomboy. None of the adults thought I was a boy. At first it was embarrassing but after a while I just accepted being called Charley or Charlotte. It didn't ever cause me any real problems and once or twice saved my bacon when other boys tried to bully me for being so girly.

I remember a boy called Neil Smith who used to bully me in junior school and he joined the Young Ornithologists about the same time I did. He tried it on with me, being a bully that is. I had to put up with it in school but on field trips, I didn't. I remember he tried to push me in a stream we were crossing via a plank bridge. It was quite narrow and he pretended to help me cross it, holding his hand out and calling me Charlotte, while making faces which showed it was a trick. He wanted to hold my hand and then push me into the stream. There was no subtlety with Neil, and I spotted it coming and pretended to reach for his hand and then pulled mine away, he overbalanced and fell in. It wasn't deep but he got soaked, and no one seemed to spot the assistance I gave to gravity that day. He swore at me and threatened all sorts of revenge, but after one or two similar episodes he stopped coming out with the RSPB and although he told me he'd get me in school, I managed to avoid him and his pals whenever they planned to teach me a lesson.

I wonder what he's doing now, I had heard he'd joined up so I hoped he was still in one piece, as one boy who bulled me in grammar school, a boy named Tony Parsons lost his legs when he was on patrol in Afghanistan and their Landrover was hit by an IEDn , an army surgeon felt it necessary to amputate. His partner was killed outright, shrapnel hit him in the head, he died instantly. Quite why we were in Helmand I don't know, but he was one of several who were killed or injured out there, for what? We pulled out and it's gone back to its mediaeval form of government, where women are treated so badly. I hate the Taliban who are like animals, bigoted variety and the religion they practice is based on male superiority and subjugation of the female. It's all bilge to hide the fact that all such worshippers are afraid of female sexuality so have to persecute it. They are all animals, pigs to be specific. But I reckon we shouldn't have been there in the first place.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3437 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`

The British on/off summer/monsoon season continued where we would have a day or so of warm weather followed by a week of rain or very heavy showers. It was declared by meteorologists to be caused by global climate change and certainly, we were better off than some places where torrential rain had caused mudslides and killed thousands. The downside here was that farmers suggested that the price of much of their produce would cost more, especially things like wheat and potatoes as they were unable to harvest them. If that occurred with silage I suspect the same will happen with meat and milk which would be affected by it. However, seeing as farmers had contributed to the poisoning of our freshwater courses, particularly the River Wye, I wasn't sure I had much sympathy for them, but before I wrote them all off as destroyers of the countryside, I remembered that those farmers who farmed with empathy for the land and its denizens were super people and if they suffered they had my sympathy and I wished their vanishing breed success.

Of course, the water companies ever since they have been privatised by a Tory government had been printing money through their customers. Nearly all the rivers and streams have been affected by sewage discharges, many, like the Wye are effectively dead with a build up of sewage fungus as they call it, suppressing normal life in the water. It's not actually a fungus but a collection of bacterial growths but it does look like a fungus and tends to occur where sewage has flowed regularly into a watercourse and is probably happening to a river near you. Now to add insult to injury the people of Devon were told to boil their water because it became infected and many were becoming ill with sickness and diarrhoea, and the company involved then paid a dividend to shareholders. You couldn't make it up. Now some people in Surrey are having to boil their water for a similar reason. The water companies have reaped huge profits since privatisation but suddenly find they can't pay for all the upgrades needed and some were financially struggling, why? Offwat the regulator is also having to answer all sorts of questions as well. To me is smacks of incompetence or corruption possibly both, and the sale of this country's assets, especially to foreign companies against the interests of its people.

My dislike of the right in politics is well known, and at last, on US Independence Day we get to vote the Tories out. Before we all celebrate that at last the corrupt party that did so much damage to our nation will be defeated, I have to wonder about the likely winners as the Labour Party seems to be doing all sorts of questionable things to some of its members, some of whom are sitting MPs. And people are asking if there is any difference between the parties? the answer seems to be, not much, but at least we get to vote not that it's likely to make much difference where I live. In general elections my vote hasn't counted since I have lived here, so I am frustrated by the electoral process and feel that everyone should pass an IQ test before being allowed to vote. Democracy doesn't work but it's the best we've got and better than China, Russia, Iran and possibly the US. It amazes me that the candidate who seems to be in the lead is someone with a recent criminal conviction for falsifying his accounts at the last presidential election and who has never knowingly told the truth in his life. How can some Americans be so stupid? Goodness it makes Brits look relatively smart, and that can't be right, can it?

Okay, enough of current affairs, they just depress me, so let's get back to the important things in life, or my life. I was looking for a housekeeper who wouldn't cause my chef to fall in love with her. After history repeating itself several times I needed someone who was either gay or a male or looked like the back of a bus. which I know, say a lot about me, but I needed to employ someone who could work with David without him falling for her. Why couldn't he just find a woman somewhere who I didn't employ, but then he may then move to be near her or something, and I'd lose him and he is a marvellous cook. as well as a personal friend of the family and we would miss him, and at present, he's been the only one who takes some of my domestic load off me. My girls do help a bit, especially Danni, but the others are used to having most things done for them and don't seem to see the work that needs to be done.

When I last became upset through the lack of support I had from the family, the girls did help out for a few days, as did Stella but it soon petered out and I was back to square one again. Simon told me to employ someone and I know he means it but the others will ultimately find something wrong with my choice or David will fall in love with them again.

I tried to understand why they seemed to leave us after telling me that I am the best boss they ever had. Once they are used to working for me, I tend to leave them to their own devices and if the house is tidy and the laundry being done, I am usually happy. Okay, I may ask them to do other things as an extra or to work longer hours or watch the younger kids for a while, but I do pay overtime if they are due it, and I have a cottage for them to live in as part of their employment, so why do they leave? What am I doing wrong or are we doing wrong? I must ask them to tell me if they leave again.

For the moment, I had a pile of mail on my desk at home in answer to my ad in the Echo for several days. Now I had to sift through them and find the best to become my housekeeper; surely one of them must be suitable? I'd asked Stella to help me interview them but she wasn't interested, Trish was but she'll be younger than most and up at Cambridge from October, perhaps Danni will help, I'll have to ask her but she does have a degree of maturity compared to the others.

It was Monday again and I was in my office wondering about Delia my previous secretary, who'd left to study biology and ecology a few years ago but had popped in to see me a week or so ago and I had offered a job as maternity cover. Diane had been initially suspicious that Delia was after her old job but I hoped I had reassured her that her job was under no threat and that she was my personal assistant as long as she wanted the job.

My phone rang, "For you," was all I heard Diane say, and whoever it was, was put through to me. "Hello, Cathy," said a familiar voice, adding, "were you serious about the job offer?"

"Hello, Delia, yes I was serious, one of my staff is heavily pregnant and I need someone to cover for her. Obviously, you are interested?"

"Yeah, I had a think about it and talked it over with my mum and she said I could stay at hers, so yes, I am interested."

I won't say I was elated because I still had to convince Melinda to go on maternity leave and she seems so lazy that even making that decision seemed too much effort. However the thought of employing Delia again, however temporarily, seemed heaven-sent and filled one area of worry that I had. Now if I could find a housekeeper, I'd be much happier, but one step at a time was good for now.

Diane emailed her Melinda's job description with maternity cover written prominently on it and HR seemed okay with it. She promised to return it as quickly as she could and as she was doing a temporary job in a supermarket, I assumed that would be pretty soon.

So when I got home that evening I felt a little less overwhelmed until I checked my mail and saw ten new applications for housekeeper. David made me some tea and I retired for the next hour to start processing the forms, to weed out the unsuitables and then perhaps Danielle would help me choose from the possibles. What a delight life was.

We ate a tasty meal of farm-produced sausages in a casserole which was full of tomatoes and mushrooms with onions and separately cooked potatoes and carrots. It certainly filled a hole and I had to be careful not eat too much. The leftovers David would freeze and we'd have as a lunch-time snack in the future. Almost anything he cooked was delicious, though occasionally I wasn't in the mood for eating, and I know the girls had asked him to do real pizza made from scratch and I know Tom has asked him to do the odd curry when I have been away. Still, I suppose if I'm not there, they can eat whatever they want and I hope they do because it may stop the occasional grumble when I am there.

Taking a cuppa to my study I asked Danni to join me. When she asked why, I told her to help me choose a potential housekeeper from the applicants. She suggested that David may be better qualified than she was and I had to tell her quietly that I wondered if some of the earlier ones had left because of David's interest in them.

"Oh, can't you hire a lezzie then?"

"I don't think that would be an appropriate question for interview, do you?"

"Uh, are you gay?" she voiced then agreed with me.

"I think it may be unduly invasive as well as being illegal as I don't think you can reject someone for being gay, except with very vulnerable people and even then it's questionable because gay people are just the same as everyone else, except being attracted to same sex partners. Remember that most sex crimes are committed by heterosexual males, and some females. Homosexual doesn't mean paedophile and you of all people should know that."

"I thought you wanted my help?"

"I do, sweetheart."

"Well, it doesn't exactly sound like it, does it?"

"I'm sorry it's just such a difficult job to choose someone without knowing them and I get a bit wound up."

"Why not employ another bloke, David wouldn't chase after him, would he?"

"No but we have some quite young children here who would feel easier with a woman."

"Aren't you kinda being hypocritical about that?"

"Probably, beside no men as far as I know applied and generally such jobs tend to attract women, though if a man had applied and was suitably qualified, I would honestly consider it, though I don't know what your dad would say."

She chuckled, "Yeah, I could see a potential problem there in a houseful of women."

"Well, he may be gay anyway and if he weren't you or Sammi would be most at risk."

"Or he might if Julie came to dinner."

"I wish you wouldn't run your sister down, she doesn't do it to you and she does seem to have some boyfriend problems at times."

"Yeah, like all the time, times."

We eventually got down to examining the application forms and Danni asked what she was looking for or not. I explained to just read through them and if she felt good about the application we would look at in more depth. She seemed to get the idea quite quickly and we narrowed it down to a dozen. She said she'd had enough but she would help me tomorrow If I wanted her to. I told her that I did and thanked her for her help. I offered her some chocolate as a reward but she said she found the whole thing very different from anything else she'd done and she was trying to avoid chocolate for the moment as she was getting the odd spot.

So I went to bed missing Simon, but felt that compared to recently it had been a successful day and I'd moved beyond my sense of being held down by deep mud, so the sinking sensation was now changing to floating. All I needed now was to learn to swim more strongly, but I'd leave that for another day and tried to read some general reader's edition of an E.O. Wilson book. He died a few years ago but he was regarded as a great by my fellow biologists. All I needed now was to stay awake for a few pages, but it seemed unlikely.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3438 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`

So Trump's little friend, the utterly disgusting Nigel Farage is to stand for his Reform Party, which I learned is copied from a Canadian one that caused havoc there, destroying the conservatives. I have no concern about something wiping out the nasty party but when it turns out to be the British equivalent of the Nazi Party, I have worries. The rise of the right tends to mean the brainless bullies look for minorities to persecute and apparently, it's our turn this time. There is so much anger and hate about, worse since Covid and Brexit, both of which we can blame some of the mess for both on Johnson's government who could lie for England or perhaps the conjunction should be to, rather for, because he certainly lied to England and many of the idiots who live here suddenly became xenophobic and several obvious foreigners were attacked and assaulted or abused verbally. Unfortunately, it is still ongoing and the country is in quite a mess. After 14 years of corrupt Tory rule, it will be good for a change though Keir Starmer isn't radical enough for me but he's trying to get elected before he can do anything. Like many, I rejoiced in his being elected to lead the Labour Party; I've not been impressed so far but he is a barrister, so perhaps we'll have better coffee.

The next Monday's mail brought me another handful of applications for my housekeeper job. So Danni and I will have another difficult meeting tonight. She appears to be in the wilderness as regards England selectors so I think she may well turn them down if they ask her again. She made her point collecting two hat tricks against London-based teams which are packed with England players, and they had no answer to her skills except to foul her and she was off again with injuries the other week. Despite the way she is treated by so many, she remains very good-natured especially when looking after her younger sisters. They all have a very positive relationship, which is perhaps my only triumph in family terms.

After our difficult selection meeting we had narrowed it down to six, who if they were as good as their applications purported, they could walk on water, cook like a Michelin chef, speak about seven languages, and fly like Superman. It wil be interesting to meet them, I'm just amazed that they haven't been recruited by the government to sort out the troubles in the Middle East or Ukraine.

Diane was in sparkling form and only embarrassed me about ten times before our first cuppa, she'll have to go. Our only pukka aristo, Lady Surrey, or Laura de Court to you, is no longer wearing a technician's coat in the laboratories and hiding from the TERFs because they seem to have forgotten her. I'm pleased to say she is dressing more like an ordinary student than someone who shops at Harvey Nicks and she looks better for it, more authentic in my humble opinion, well opinion, though the term humble may prove to be incorrect. I was obviously born to an aristocrat insofar as my arrogance factor always scored high enough to make the Royal Family seem wanting.

"How's the housekeeper recruitment going?" asked Diane over a quick cuppa.

"We've had in excess of 25 applications, so hopefully one or two should know what they're doing. According to Danni my fellow selector, most could make Superman or Mary Poppins look inadequate." Alas I said this as Diane had just taken a mouthful of tea which she snorted over my desk, thankfully my copy of Snodgrass was out of her range.

Snodgrass wrote the 'Principles of Insect Morphology,' which he published in 1935, nearly a hundred years ago, but it is still mentioned in textbooks and papers very frequently. He worked for the US Dept of Agriculture and his dissection and drawings are amazing and this was before SEM*s were available, so are even more incredible.

My copy is a new version, as it's out of copyright now, so it was printed off by an Indian company and I've just ordered a copy of his 'Arthropod Anatomy', which I hope will be equally good, and it wasn't that expensive either. I saw it on Abe books but by the time I tried to order it I was told it was no longer available. I tried again and got the same result, so I tried eBay books and got exactly the same book, free postage for a pound cheaper. While I was on eBay I ordered some magnifying 'glasses' that you wear like a jeweller's loupe and you swap lenses round to magnify things x10, x15, x20, and x25. How accurate the magnifications are I can't say but it certainly did magnify, except like a hand lens and a microscope, the higher the magnification the smaller the depth of field, it may be stereo but beyond x10, it has to be so close it practically has to sit on your nose. But it worked and for a tenner, I think it is possible to recommend to students who were working without access to a microscope. I actually have a field stereo-microscope as well, but most students haven't got a spare hundred quid hanging round, so if they miss paying for one round of drinks, they can possibly buy the stereo magnifying-glasses or pay something towards a decent x10 hand lens, which we advise them to get before they start the course, and also a lanyard to use to wear it around the neck. So as long as you don't plonk it in your soup, it should be ready and available whenever you're doing fieldwork, so going loopy for a good loupe, is a good investment for about fifteen quid and upwards depending on the quality you want. I know paleontologist Richard Fortey, always has one with him as do most entomologists, and probably most ecologists too. When you need to see the fine detail of something, a hand lens is so useful which I'm sure most of you know already so I'll shut up about it now.

I know Danni and Sarah have nice ones because I bought them for them as soon as they applied to study biology at our uni, as I knew they'd come in handy, or would if ever Danni remembered to carry hers around with her. But as they say, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it swim (Trish's version of the saying).

My own loupe is one my father gave me when I went off to Sussex, so it's special for sentimental reasons as well as being a nice one with my name engraved on the casing. It also came with a leather case but that broke eventually and I sewed a leather pouch for it, all by hand when I was in my room at Sussex. It just has C. Watts etched into the stainless steel case, so it was usable in all my manifestations. I think he knew that but we never discussed it, "So thanks Dad, I'm still using it.

It lasted longer than his car did if you remember, someone put a bomb in my own car and the blast damaged the Mondeo as well. I seem to get through cars like nobody's business, even my Jag was damaged by that schoolkid, Peregrine something or other, and the headmaster only took notice when the kid scratched his trademark sign, which he'd put on my newly resprayed car on the headmaster's antique desk. Well, I thought it funny anyway, the boy was oblivious that he was doing it so suffered from some problem or other, I'll leave that to the educational psychologists.

My mother had taught me the rudiments of sewing, for which I'm everlastingly grateful, though at the time I felt anything but as she instructed me on hemming Dad's trousers after shortening them, turning a collar on a rather well-worn shirt, I asked her why he couldn't just buy another but she insisted I do it for the practice and she meant practice on real items. I'd done several things Including cushion covers so was quite competent in simple sewing, but that included replacing zips, inserting darts, in dresses or blouses, so it was relatively comprehensive and she watched me like a hawk. When I was tempted to cut corners she pulled me up by adding, "I'll bet Charlotte would do it properly." When I enquired who this Charlotte was, she told me that I knew very well who she meant. I was left red-faced every time. But it meant I was able to make my drawstring pouch quite easily, running the lanyard string through the drawstring so I wouldn't lose it when It was in use and my attention was taken elsewhere. Debbie saw my pouch on my hand lens and asked where I'd got it and I told her I'd made it while at uni.

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" she voiced when I told her. The upshot was that she wanted one of her own and I told her if she got a piece of soft leather I'd show her how to do it, but we'd do the seams on the machine because it would be stronger. She seemed amazed that I'd sewn it by hand. Once you've done all the seams and turned over the top for the string to run through, you then had the fun of inserting it usually feeding a safety pin all through it with the string attached to it. It's fiddly but not rocket science, the seams are all sewn and then the bag is turned inside out for a nicer finish, I'd had to do some pockets for my dad's trousers, so I knew what to do for my own project.

While Debbie was making hers, I did a slightly larger one as a coin purse for Hannah with which she was duly impressed and she had something the others didn't so she was well pleased. It only took us an evening to make from start to finish, so it left me a few spare minutes to sort Meems sewing and the new skirt Danni was making, with Cindy of course in attendance.

Danni and I set a date for the housekeeper interviews and I got Diane to do the letters for me; we'd chosen six candidates and would do them all on a Saturday morning, giving them a week's notice to attend and also offering expenses for travel for unsuccessful candidates, something they tend to do at universities and the NHS.

Otherwise, things were much the same as normal, I offered interviews with students who we were discharging as not having made the grade. It was rather like a last chance saloon; hardly any of them took up the offer, knowing that it was very difficult to change the university's mind, so they gave it up as a lost cause, however, we were obliged to offer them the service. I did them with a reader in biology or a senior lecturer, just the two of us. It was a horrible job but someone had to do it.

On the two occasions, someone actually availed themselves of the opportunity, I was able to help the unfortunate student to see that it didn't preclude them from trying another university and that not everyone prospers from the university experience. However, it's becoming a rite of passage these days, but the first year is the most disturbed as they have mostly not been away from home before and have to get the freedom out of their systems. Some never do although we warn them all the time and we have to let them go. In fact I had a letter from a rejected student who'd gone to another university, Leicester I think, got a degree and was gainfully employed doing a job she loved. She told me that my interview advice gave her the incentive to try again, this time without the partying. I wrote back wishing her well and thanking her for letting me know.

Once in while it all seems worthwhile and you ignore the bruises on your forehead and dents in the wall are forgotten, until next time.

* Scanning Electron Microscope, which has revolutionised physical science.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 34389 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`

We'd somehow got to the weekend and Danni and I were preparing ourselves for the interviews of a new housekeeper. I was going to give the salary structure based on experience and the fact that the cottage next to David's was available to offer as an incentive. Accommodation in parts of this country is difficult, either too expensive or in short supply and first-time buyers have very little chance to get on the ladder. Rents are also high and getting worse and of course, Maggie Thatcher, the Iron Lady who expired from a bad attack of rust, sold all the council houses off and they are still being sold, so the housing stock is shrinking every year.

Now, Farage would have us believe that it's because immigrants have driven up the prices, but I suspect that second homes are an even worse blight, although I plead guilty to having some, although I came to them, in an unusual way.

My parent's house I inherited and couldn't bear to sell or let it. I grew up there for goodness sake and I know that my mother's heart would break if ever I sold it. While I may be living in Tom's Georgian farmhouse, which if you remember we added to, is officially mine but I still think of it as Tom's. I inherited Des' house and also Mr Whitehead's house which I let out at a realistic rental on the understanding that my lessees take reasonable care of them. I suppose I hold one for Cate which Debbie rents, the money goes to my daughter but few people know that. In the event of my premature demise, my solicitor and my husband know what to do with the properties, how to dispose of them and so on.

So I suppose I have a property portfolio, one will go to Pudding, that of Des, who was after all her father. Lizzie would have Neil and Gloria's house which we've kept the mortgage paid on, Whitehead's I may give to Danni if she isn't stinking rich from football. She actually saves quite a bit, but paying for the insurance for her car made a bit of a dent in her savings. I was just determined to make her understand the cost of things these days, and I also, probably erroneously, considered if she paid a lot out for the car, she respect it more. So far she drives quite well, but I am aware that underneath all the lip-gloss and mascara, resides someone who is biologically male and young men tend to wrap cars around things, killing or badly injuring themselves in the process. If Danny suddenly emerges during a trip to Bournemouth, or other venue, the result would be the same, so her insurance is high.

Trish has been living as female for almost all her life and except when she's playing football or her intellectual arrogance, we don't see much of a boy in her. Both she and Danni didn't undergo a male puberty so there is hope that they will live long and happy lives as females, possibly settling down with a partner and may be adopting children eventually. I know I was very lucky in that, all my kids, except the babies wanted us to adopt them, so we rarely have problems in that direction, we have others at times and as you know teenagers are something else, possibly a separate species, because they act so differently to children or adults. It's like a metamorphosis with their brains changing for a number of years until they adjust as humans again. Sadly some never make the transition from teen to adult, some kill themselves, especially boys through regular bursts of testosterone, which causes them to take silly risks - not all of them survive.

Back to our housekeeper interviews, the first was due at ten o'clock and we had one every half hour afterwards. Danni was attired in a nice skirt and top with about two tons of mascara as always. Some days, I wonder if her eyelid muscles are super strong having exercised with heavy coatings on the eyelashes for several years. I wore jeans and a sweater with trainers on my feet. When challenged by my daughter, I declared that I know who and what I am, I was going to be comfortable doing a horrible job, so there. Danni of course went off on one, she'd dressed up and expected me to do the same. I reminded her that I mostly wore tidy things to work every day she wore jeans and sweatshirts, she was a student and that was the uniform, with sweatshirt replaced by a hoodie every now and then, and in hot weather a dress or skirt, something boys can't do although we allow shorts. Some wear shorts or pants that end just below the knee all the year round. How they cope with cold I don't know but then they are all young men and when I see schoolkids just clad in shirts, in coolish weather, my brain is boggled. When they do the same in wet weather, it becomes more so, but that seems the fashion and seeing students in tee shirts and shorts in this rather wet and cool spring and early summer, makes me shiver.

Danni raced upstairs and came down in jeans and some stilt high stilettos and next our first candidate arrived. I took charge of the interviews doing my spiel about working conditions, the safety of my children, some housework although Emily shared that, perhaps, occasional cooking, and when I got on to the cottage, eyes widened.

We interviewed six and conducted tours of the house, I put down comments about how big the house was by adding that the pay was good and the cottage made it especially good. One of the women still carped and I asked her if she still wanted to be considered or leave now. She left, for which I was rather glad.

We had two candidates who were head and shoulders above the rest, Anne McDonald and Leah Curtiss. Both had shown enthusiasm and asked intelligent questions. They'd also done their homework by researching who I was, via the university address and realised that I was a trans woman or used to be one. They asked if any of the children were transgendered and Danni asked why, did it make any difference? Both replied that it didn't and one had experience of neighbours with a transgender son, so it didn't bother her at all, the other said she knew someone at college who was a trans woman and she was quite a pleasant person if a little inhibited at first, not being used to dealing with boys but by the end of the course she was dating strongly with one of the boys. She lost contact since but hoped she was okay.

Danni then broke the ice on the subject by saying that transgender kids should be no problem but we had several teenagers who were more volatile and harder work than most, she admitted that she had overdressed for today, saw how I was dressed and flounced upstairs and changed into jeans. Leah asked her how she walked in her shoes, they had four-inch heels. Danni told her they were comfortable provided she didn't have too far to walk, so make sure her car was in good running order, she also kept some flat shoes in the boot along with a waterproof in case she had to walk home. It was a lesson she learned from both Julie and Sammi.

Our two probables left and I promised to phone the successful candidate as soon as we had made up our minds, they both drove so transporting the kids who still went to school looked fine, but often Danni or Daddy, or Sarah, or David did the ferrying to and fro so the issue was well covered. It was only Cate, Lizzie and Hannah who were still at St Claire's the rest were either working or at university or in Trish's case would be going to Cambridge in October.

Danni thought Leah was the pick of the crop and I thought Anne was. We went to a lovely lunch David had created, jacket potatoes with cheese and a side salad, with coleslaw which I love as well as all the other things, and it was homemade too, even better. He'd put the potatoes back into the oven for a few minutes after sprinkling on the cheese so it melted and mingled with the spud, they were delicious and after Danni and I decamped with cups of tea to my study to resolve our dispute.

There wasn't much between them, Anne was about five or ten years older than Leah and the maturity showed, so I thought. Danni thought that Leah had the edge because she was more switched on to younger issues and supporting the youngsters she thought she'd be better, although Hannah was in her last year at school and had taken her A levels with the hope of going to Chelsea school of art, which was attached to London University. She brought us fresh tea and I asked her who had taken her eye. She said she didn't really notice any of them, but both had looked nice, the one who'd left halfway through she didn't think was a good idea to employ.

Trish was still abroad and Emily called in to see if we had appointed yet. She wondered who she'd be working with and when I asked her who she favoured from our descriptions, said either would be okay with her. Her mother's house had been renovated and redecorated and was warm and dry again. Her mother was in better health than she'd been for many years and she still came occasionally with Emily to play granny for the two younger girls.

I told Danni I was making an executive decision and appointing Anne. Danni said I was being biased because she had a Scottish name. I told her I hadn't even thought of the surname, so her claim was wrong. Anne had been the only one to ask why the position was being advertised and I told her honestly, that I had a demanding job and needed help about the house. Danni had joked that I need a wife which had made Anne chuckle but she asked what had happened to the last housekeeper. Danni said that we ate her but I told her not to be so silly. I told her that several had said we were the best employers ever but they still left so I was open to comments during employment and if she left us would she tell me why? She promised she would.

I explained about the security needed for the children was paramount as they had been threatened with abduction before and Anne said she understood and was happy to undergo any checks we wanted including CRB. Leah wasn't quite as happy but she said that when she was a teen, she'd gone to a party and they were using cannabis and cocaine and there'd been a bust and she was arrested with the others. She got a discharge as she hadn't actually taken any drugs but that it may show on her records. I thanked her for her honesty. Danni thought it showed some integrity. I wasn't so sure, that incident had been ten or more years ago and it didn't say what her position was today. But I did say that anyone using drugs would be considered to have broken the conditions of employment and have their contract terminated forthwith.

I stuck with my gut instincts and offered the job to Anne. She wasn't free for a month but thanked me and asked if the cottage was still available. I told her it was and agreed to send her the terms for its use.

Now I just had to get through all the work that was backing up at the university knowing that things should be better in a month. I sat back relaxing feeling quite tired after the interviews when the phone rang. It was Esmond Herbert, he wondered if we could meet asap as he needed to tell me something but not over the phone. I invited him to Sunday lunch checking that David was available the next day, he accepted and rang off with me wondering if that was about taking up a post in the US or if the TERFs were regrouping or something else. Oh well, have to wait and see.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3440 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`

I don't think Esmond had ever been to our house, and checked with Tom. Apparently he hadn't, though he knew the address or his secretary did because Tom had a Christmas card every year from him, which is more than I did. Then he wasn't really a friend of mine, rather a professional colleague and acquaintance and of course he was my professor as an undergraduate, so he was to me, at any rate, several levels above me and very much more experienced with playing politics than I was, when he wasn't chasing women. At least that was one thing he wouldn't do to me as he knew my murky past.

Being a woman, I wanted my home to look as neat and tidy as I could make it to visitors. Had it been a woman visitor, I'd have been cleaning for days before they came; women see things that men don't notice. Anyway, I explained to the girls that I had an important visitor coming so would appreciate their help in getting everything shipshape and Bristol fashion. It's a silly saying like many of them are, okay, ships need to be tidy because in rough seas, things can be thrown all over the place, and if it's been safely stowed, there is less likelihood of being hit by shrapnel if it does get rough.

I'm an okay traveller, but I have never sailed in really rough weather so I don't know if I'd retain my breakfast or not, I hope I would but can't be certain; however, unless we have a series of earthquakes, I should be safe at home. You may laugh but the UK has over 500 earth tremors every year. We're in low danger of tectonic plates moving under us as they are quite some distance away, so low danger of volcanic activity as well. So we got on with the housework and the girls really did help with Danni being the greatest help and who chivvied them up when she thought they were slacking.

When we had finished, and David was busy cooking up one of his exquisite meals I went up to shower and Danni did so too, I called her into my bedroom and presented her with a bottle of perfume for her help. She blushed but accepted my gift. Summer had decided to visit and accordingly, I wore a sleeveless sun dress, which came to above the knee and showed a little cleavage as well.

Simon, who'd been working most of the morning admired my taste and told me to cancel lunch and we'd go to bed instead. I responded by telling him that if I went to bed now, my hair was damp and would be all standing up on end. He said he didn't care he still fancied me. I told him that I did, and besides wanted to know what Esmond wanted to tell me. I relayed that he didn't want to talk about it over the phone, so unless his has been tapped, why couldn't he? That was perplexing.

I'd asked Tom if he had any inklings and he said he hadn't but would be pleased to see his old friend again. Esmond's Mercedes drove in and parked in front of the house, he came bearing flowers and presented then to me. I told him David should really get them as he cooked the meal, but I took them before he could offer them to my chef just in case.

The meal was delicious, one of Caradoc's poor lambs was the main attraction but David followed that with a roulade and before we had small pieces of pâté with wafer thin toast and bits of salad garni.

Esmond was greatly impressed with the meal and Simon's choice of wine, which was a Merlot. Before a second bottle was opened I dragged Esmond off to my study and asked Danni to make us some tea.

"Who was that you asked to make the tea?"

"Danni, she's the footballer."

"Pretty girl, lovely figure."

"She is very fit, she trains twice a week and often plays a game as well."

"She an international, isn't she?"

"If ever she realises how good she is, we'll have to get the doors widened." We both smirked at that. Danni brought the tea in and left shutting the door. I handed Esmond a mug of tea, offered him milk and sugar and then asked him what couldn't he tell me over the phone.

"It's about Laura."

"Our loosely connected royal?"

"Yes, a little birdie told me that the TERFs haven't finished with her yet."

"Do they really want to mix it with me again?"

"You didn't make any friends by destroying that church."

"They were preaching such hate, destroying it was an act of God."

"I thought that only applied to lightning strikes, thunderbolts and cyclones, not acts of banking and dare I say it, arson?"

"Well the next time will be."

"What do you mean, next time?"

"Well they rebuild their church and I destroy it again. I'm surprised they got funding for the rebuild."

"I think you don't understand American finances."

"I think that's quite possible, except I think they are probably more corrupt than British ones and they're bad enough."

"Arguably, you are right dear lady, but it seems they have someone to bankroll them and there are some very odd American billionaires, or at least they have very strange ideas and transsexuals are always in open season."

"Strange, look who's running for president against Biden, a convicted felon as well as cheat and liar."

"I take it you are not a fan of Mr Trump?"

"Let's put it like this, if they sentenced him to a firing squad, I'd pay for the bullets'."

"Ooh such violence, I don't know why they call women the gentle sex?"

"It's a statistical fact, that most violence is carried out by heterosexual males."

"Okay, I concede before you send for the firing squad."

"Good call." was all I said. "Now what do we do about Laura. Has anybody told her yet to disappear?"

"I rather thought that was your job, Cathy, she's one of your students after all."

"Don't think you can pass me all your rubbish, Esmond. This is the second time you have done it, remember you did it with Debbie as well."

"I only did it because I knew you'd pull them through and that they were aware of your unique selling point to them."

"Just because I got through it, doesn't mean I have to help everyone else, because things are always going to be different for each individual."

"I appreciate that, Cathy, but you do know the ropes."

"We're all different, what worked for me might not for anyone else."

"I'm well aware of this, but I know that you are one of the most capable protectors I know. "

"That doesn't explain why you dumped another one in my lap, after all Sussex is much bigger than Portsmouth. Or is it you don't want anything to upset the applecart for the knighthood you are expecting one of these days."

"Even I am not that shallow, Cathy."

"No, oh well I apologise."

"If Laura disappears for a while, she could continue her degree online until it's safe for her to re-emerge. Does she have somewhere to go?"

"I think you had better ask her."

"But if you try to hide her again, they'll find her and I'm told a very public humiliation is what is required this time."

"That's what I gave them last time."

"Yes, I don't think they've forgotten."

"Good because if I have to do it twice, they'll regret it. I'll get Diane to ring her tomorrow and ask her to come and see me."

"Can I leave it with you to organise? I'll let you know what my sources convey as soon as I can."

"Why isn't Special Branch involved, I thought they dealt with anything affecting the royals however small it is?"

"Be careful, Cathy, I suspect they are playing for keeps."

"I'll ring Henry and ask about Special Branch."

"Might be a good idea. Right, I have to go; thank you for inviting me to dinner, your chef is something else, isn't he?"

"David is a one-off, but tends to beat most hotels and restaurants."

"He surely does that. Give him my regards, won't you?"

"I think he'll prefer the bonus Simon will give him at the end of the month."

"I expect he will. Must go," he kissed me on the cheek and left.

"What was that about?" asked Simon.

"You know the expression, Turf Wars. I think we've just been notified of a homophone." He stood for a moment working out what I had just said.

"So they want to play dirty, do they?"

"Be careful, darling."

"Oh I shall make a few phone calls and they will cease to exist."

"Who do you think you are, MI6?"

"No, but I do have some friends who are and Sammi has more and Dad knows everyone."

"I'd like to keep Sammi out of it if we can, she is so vulnerable."

"I'll protect her in your absence," he answered. That was what I was afraid of but couldn't say anything.

I left him to go on the warpath while I more discreetly spoke to Henry and waited for his advice but we agreed to try and get Laura away as quickly as we could. I then rang James to warn him that I may need him at short notice. He replied nonchalantly that I was nonpareil, I just laughed and he rang off pretending to sulk.

So tomorrow, we have to get Laura off somewhere like Switzerland and hope the enemy don't hear about it before she goes. Once abroad I suspect she'll have enough of a network of friends to disappear, or her father should. Once established, she can continue her course online and reappear once the danger is past. That's the theory, but they say in theory, theory and practice are the same, in practice, they are different. So I half expect a royal shambles. Oh well, Diane will do her best, she always does and she likes Laura and dislikes the TERFs for giving women a bad name. I loathe them because they think they are superior to us neo-women, why I don't know because most of them don't breed they just spout hatred, adhering to the rubbish that was published by an American radical feminist, who tried to suggest that transgenderism was a ploy by American men to infiltrate the Women's Movement by creating men who resembled women, viz transsexuals.

The theory, like many thought up by loonies, doesn't hold water. I'm sure that many transwomen don't even think about such things, they are too focused on making their body and mind match up in a way that they can live with. So what deluded lesbian feminists are doing probably never enters their minds unless they fall foul of them.

It's all so ridiculous and we should be on the same side because we are both looking to stop violence against women, however they go to that state, and let's face it transwomen are more likely to suffer abuse than bio-women, although they may be slightly older before it begins and after they try to do something to sort themselves out. Some boys are like me, and showed their feminine side before they realised that it puts them in danger from others, it seems a social crime, that feminine boys are seen as pariahs but butch girls are not. Society is sick, it is the majority who have the problem and showing abuse and violence to anyone for just being different is a reprehensible fault in many men and some women. They are in the wrong but they make us targets because they can't understand differences. It's pathetic, but then much of society has a reading age of about 7 and cognitive skills to match as will be demonstrated by Nigel Farage and his hateful supporters, who should receive counselling to deal with their enjoyment of unpleasantness like those supporting Trump, another malignant narcissist psychopath. If he becomes President, then American democracy will fall and the likes of Putin and other dictators will try to run roughshod over the rest of us. For all of our sakes, pray that Trump fails.

I eventually went to bed but didn't sleep much worrying about how life was going to get rather unnecessarily messy because some people hate themselves so much they have to try and spoil it for others. Oh boy.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3441 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`
I went in early to my office; I couldn't sleep. I was trying to plan a battle against something I couldn't see and they weren't likely to tell me. Henry had come back to me after consulting friends in low places, not his favourite occupation but good to know he has them and to know they may act to pre-empt anything happening to Laura.

I had gone through the files and found her file which had very little data in it, so we were keeping it safe or secret or something. We did have a safe, but to make it doubly secure it can only be opened during the working day, i.e. between 9.00 am and five p.m., although my day often runs to much longer hours as do many folk, and like today some of us will have been working for a while by 9.00 a.m. I am one of them. Anyway it means that someone can't be forced to try and open it after hours, like in a sort of abduction of staff or families. It has occurred before and being related to one of the richest families in Europe increases the risk. It has happened before when abduction has been tried, and I was to open it when at the Billie King's Centre, when the object was to kidnap or kill me, and an undercover agent for the security services saved my bacon. She was pretending to be a student but she acted courageously, taking out most of the gang, but she was armed and very dangerous.

MI something or other had got wind of a plot to abduct or eliminate me and she stopped it almost single handed, checked I was okay, told me I was lucky and explained why and then disappeared.

It seems because Simon could be affected by any abduction of his family we 're treated as special, like some politicians. He's head of the retail bank and they carry quite a lot of our money, they also contain many papers, etc. in their safes or vaults, some of which are very valuable and some are stored secretly and because they're secret I don't know anything more about them, secret, get it? Doh!

By the time Diane came in I had dictated loads of letters and so on and was just nodding off in my chair but a cup of tea, dumped noisily on my desk, woke me and I was nearly able to pretend I was fully awake and running on all cylinders. It wouldn't have worked she, had spotted me dozing before she made the tea. I asked her to get a message to Laura as quickly as possible to come and see me, to talk to no one and be wary of strangers.

"Oh dear, it's hit the oscillating thing has it?"

"No it's hit the rotating air wotsit, according to a reliable source, hence my attendance at an unearthly hour, or I'd have rung her earlier."

"Just as well I came, then."

"Look here my good woman, are you contemplating an occupation as a thespian?"

"Who do you think I am? Mrs Worthington's daughter?"

"As in Noel Coward?" I shot back.

"The same, wouldn't have thought you were old enough to get that one, anyway it's lesbians not thespians we're trying to avoid, innit?"

"Spot on, keep that up and I may let you make some more tea."

"Usually you tell me that I have just about saved my status as an employee."

"That's a given this time."

She muttered something sarcastic as she left my office but my phone rang just as she did and I didn't get the benefit of her humour, most of it impertinent, doesn't she know who I am - yes, which is why she said it.

I answered my phone only to find it was an enquiry from one of my staff and for a moment I considered it was unrelated to threats to my department, but it wasn't. This time I was awake and reassured my colleague that there was something funny about my phone this morning. I suspect it was being tapped, which without permission in the form of a warrant, is highly illegal and very naughty.

Diane came into my room a few moments later and I told her very quietly, the phone was tapped. She nodded and said she had used the Batphone. "What are you talking about?"

"I went out of the office and called her on my mobile."

"How do you know, they haven't got listening devices all over the place."

"This is a group of TERFs we're talking about not the CIA, how are they going to acquire such things and how are they tapping your phone?"

"I had Esmond to lunch yesterday."

"We had chicken."

Sometimes I think this job has turned her mind, then I realise she's a natural halfwit.

"I said to lunch, not for lunch, there is a subtle difference."

If her tongue starts flicking in and out of her mouth al la Anthony Hopkins, I'll start to worry. It didn't, so I knew she wouldn't make a meal of it or me, besides, I'm probably too tough or full of poisonous chemicals, or E.coli or something. Apparently, lots of rivers have above permissible amounts from either sewage or farm run-off. It reduces the risk of drowning if you fall in a river, you die from poisoning of one sort or another. This country has gone to the dogs, but the Tories seem ignorant of it. Just as well that they are about to lose the next election in a few days time. They are all ignorant if not stupid and should all be dumped in a river...oh anywhere, they are all verging on lethal.

"She should be here in about twenty minutes, I'll send her in, though shouldn't we sweep the place for listening devices?"

"With what? "

"There's a brush and pan in the kitchen. I usually use something like that for sweeping."

I pointed at my phone and put my finger over my lips. I turned it over and the screws looked recently scraped, as if being unscrewed by a screwdriver of the wrong size. I pulled a set of little screwdrivers from my desk and began undoing them. Neither of us said anything, but when I separated the bottom cover from the rest of the phone, there it was in all its glory, a listening device. I quickly removed it, did the cover up again and offered the set to Diane. I had dropped mine into the quite hot cup of tea and hoped that was enough to neutralise it. A few minutes later she returned with a similar item, only she had stepped on hers rather violently. I didn't consider it was as inventive as my method, which proved that tea is good for you.

I nodded, picked up my phone and went outside to the bathroom, pulled the flush and rang James. He asked if I was trying to reduce his fee but offered to come and sweep our offices and also Tom's. I flushed the loo again and warned Tom what we had found. I told him James was coming and to leave the removal of any devices to him. He said he was off to a meeting for a couple of hours at Southampton so his office would be available. While I was in the loo, Laura arrived and asked where I was. She was told I was in the loo making phone calls. I think she still thinks I'm a bit strange.

I told Diane to forget the tea, we'd go to the refectory. There, there should be plenty of background noise, plus I'd had no breakfast and could deal with the inner woman at the same time. I was told to bring her back a croissant. Honestly who's in charge here?

Laura was not surprised we were under attack again but didn't realise how bad it was going to be. She said something about only men read or make phone calls in the loo. I showed her the now-defunct bug from my phone and she winced for a moment. The refectory was quite busy and very noisy and we managed to secure a table away from being overheard.

"So what have I got to do?"

"Get home as quick as you can, call in at the travel agent on the way and go to friends. Go before they can discover you have gone. Call me at home, I'll get James to sweep the house for devices but I think it's clear, but we'll make sure. Only tell me you are safe, when the heat dies down, you can start doing your course online, you can get a scrambler for that, they are not cheap but I think will be worth it. It will encrypt everything."

"I feel I'm running from a fight."

"The word is they are fighting dirty and want to humiliate you or play for keeps."

"What they want to kill me?"

"Not to put too fine a point on it, yes. Now go and get yourself lost but with friends, it's safer, but only with ones you can trust."

"Okay, thanks for helping me, what are you going to do?"

"Fight a rearguard and also scatter as many red herrings as I can as well as invite the security services to take part. I want this to stop, permanently, and seeing as you can't help who or what you are, don't take any unnecessary risks, they are downright dangerous and probably don't brush their teeth twice a day. So to be avoided at all costs. Go." She grabbed her handbag and ran off while I wandered back with a box of cakes aware that James would want one as well as Diane.

My office was clean as was Diane's, we showed James the two bugs and he shook his head, but we discovered another in Tom's phone and another more sophisticated one in the switchboard. The girl told me that someone from BT had called just before she left on Friday. They'd had some problems with the phones and they were now working fine. Shows how easy it is and thank goodness it wasn't Russian hackers who are apparently being protected from reprisals by Putin's government. He's also threatening to pull out of nuclear treaties. To me it seems that every day we step closer to war as he keeps pushing the boundaries and will one day receive a rather violent response. If that happens, our current situation will seem rather cosy, but he keeps trying to provoke a reaction.

While we were talking about Laura's situation a man from MI5 and a Commander from Special Branch arrived, it seems they were both involved because Henry called in some favours, but also reminded them his family were very important targets and if the bank went down, so would the country. I suspect they were well aware of this. They knew James or of him, I introduced him as my odd-job man, which got a laugh all round.

Then it was dealing with Laura's situation and how had the university been infiltrated by a faux telephone engineer. Apparently, they all knew how to cause a temporary problem with the phone system and then get access to plant all sort of devices. James told them it was just the one and showed it to the MI5 chap, who said he'd only seen one before, in America. It made sense if we are under attack by fundies and TERFs from that church Simon destroyed before, they would use what was easily available.

Apparently, they were monitoring via GCHQ any messages from the US that used any of a set of special words. After this it seemed rather simple, any mention of the bank, the university, or Laura had given a few leads. James almost tutted at the exceptionally poor response by the security services, who defended their actions as having some leads, where was his research taking him? He told them seeing as I'd called him this morning, they had a head start on him, they both smirked at that, apparently unaware that I had first called him on Sunday and he had been beavering away ever since. I managed to stop the boy's pissing contest and suggest we all work together. We all agreed but knew none of us would but perhaps some exchange of information may happen, probably by accident. However, they all decided my advice to Laura to go abroad as soon as she could and lay low, was the right thing. I wonder where we went next, I suppose the enemy will make the next move and I hope we make the right response, time will tell.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3442 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`

Henry called me that evening, he told me that the various government agencies were on high alert. I asked him if that had been the case before when Russian hackers had infiltrated a blood results system and delayed people getting their blood test results from various London hospitals. Apparently, hospitals had been deliberately avoided by the hackers but it seemed nowhere was safe from them and we weren't doing enough to protect ourselves from them. They were also being encouraged and protected by the Kremlin, so I hope if ever Putin needs blood tests we are able to hack the system and lose his results. If it caused him to become an ex Putin, I wouldn't shed any tears and although I don't believe in hell, I hope he goes there when he dies, just for eternity and the demons are all Ukrainian. I gave a little chuckle at that and Henry asked why, so I had to tell him, he told me I was getting too involved and needed to be more objective.

After I'd gone to bed, I was reading when Simon phoned to ask how we all were, Henry had told him how things were and he had set a small team of his most trusted people to investigate the persons financing the US Baptist church concerned, and was the same money funding the TERFs. If it was he hoped to do some manoeuvrings and embarrass them in the Wall Street press before trying to cause them problems.

I asked him to be careful and he promised he would be, this time he was playing for keeps as well and hoped when he struck, it would disable them for good. I told him I'd sent Laura abroad and Henry said the security services had seen her go to Switzerland, she was supposed to have friends there but I suspect she also went on to somewhere else after, perhaps Germany or France.

I fell asleep dreaming of France, of Danni's assault and Pia's over the top response, castrating herself and when she had recovered, slicing my daughter up a treat, needing her to have surgery, a vaginoplasty amongst other things, after which she had little option but to live as a girl. After initial problems, she accepted her fate and played international football as a woman, fulfilling the criteria by not having had a male puberty. she was incredibly talented but had been overlooked again by the FA and she was not really bothered by it, saying that she needed to concentrate on her studies and make a new life for herself, perhaps as a researcher. I was immensely proud of all my girls. but especially Danni, who had to work at things like I'd had to unlike her sister who had a PhD at sixteen and was off to Cambridge, possibly the best university in the world, certainly the best in Britain.

I remembered seeing the gun battle as Danni's assailants perished under the firepower of the French Police, but it set me drifting to when, as a schoolchild, I also visited France. We'd gone to Brittany and I wanted to see the standing stones at Carnac, which were said to be impressive. They were, and were quite unlike anything in the UK. I was quite tired, and after eating my packed lunch snoozed against one of the stones. It was so unlike anything I usually did, but as I snoozed I saw a woman dressed in gold and shining like the sun. I'd never experienced anything like this before. Remember, I was living as a boy then, or pretending to. In my mind I called myself Catherine but I'd not told a soul this. It was my secret.

She addressed me and I realised I was experiencing something other-worldly, and I adopted a subordinate position. She smiled and said, "Good girl, Catherine, which I know is how you think of yourself. You will be yourself one day and you will become quite an important woman with lots of children, and be a very good mother."

Although it was a dream, I knew that I would be unlikely to have children with what I planned to do with my body. "Madame, I think that is most unlikely, my body isn't designed for bearing babies, but I thank you for visiting me, you must be very busy."

"Catherine, there is more than one way to be a mother, and yes I am busy, I am the Shekinah, the feminine principle. Be it known, that you have been blessed as one of my agents, and that I am only visible to females, and my spirit is strong in you. You shall lead by example and also you will have something special to do for me. Sleep now my child, and wake refreshed remembering my visit at the back of your mind, for you to recall when appropriate in the future. Only special women receive my blessing, sleep now and await my call."

I woke with a start, I hadn't thought of that visit for years. I was fifteen and although arguably, a youth, my body hadn't been visited by the testosterone demon, and I looked rather girlish with my long hair, high voice, and undeveloped body. I couldn't believe I had shown those photos of the stones, to dozens of people over the years and had never thought of that dream. I had interacted with the goddess several times, usually asking for her help, and it had never come to my mind. Did this mean that she was about to call me to service? I shivered. Surely, she wouldn't be involved in what I saw as a political thing, would she?

The only reason I could think of for that was that she was protecting her agents, of which I and several of my daughters were pledged to serve her. It worried me a little, it was nice to have her on our side, but wouldn't she be acting against some bio-women? That didn't make sense, unless it was just to protect us against any danger. It left me contemplating rather than sleeping. In the end I knelt on my bed and tried to meditate upon her. I think I must have fallen asleep because I woke early, feeling as if I'd had a good night's sleep. I felt full of energy and I felt her around me. I thanked her for her blessings and felt something leave me. I knew that whatever happened now I should be protected as would the rest of my girls. I knew not to take it for granted as she would see that as arrogance. I'd be careful, but I just knew that we were going to be alright; something would come to us, to help us deal with this danger. All we had to do now was to avoid becoming complacent and to do what milady wanted us to do - whatever that was.

I had admitted to myself, that although I struggled with much of what was usually described as the supernatural, something was happening beyond my control and I didn't think it was just in my mind, there was something out there that we didn't understand. I didn't believe in god, that was a step too far, but I suspected that men had been in control of women for too long, the latter had suffered awfully from abuse, violence, rape and murder and the Shekinah could be the universe's response to restore the balance. No sex or gender was superior, we were just human beings who deserved to function at our optimum, there were leaders and followers but none achieved their role by being male or female.

All mankind should be equal, with the same chance to celebrate our existence, living in peace and harmony. Alas, some people thought differently and felt it was their right to exploit others to do their bidding. That wasn't natural justice and we all had to work to change that, especially for women and the vulnerable. Why women should be vulnerable annoyed me. If men gave everyone a chance to be themselves, life would be better. Would it matter who was in control if things were better? It seemed to some that it did. I was tired of old white men controlling things, everyone should be allowed to aspire to steer the ship. It was likely to involve much effort one way or another and most wouldn't bother, finding it too much like hard work, but now and again someone had the dedication and skills to have a go, who should say thay couldn't? Alas, we are back to the patriarchy, who wilfully try to stop others succeeding, people like the Taliban in Afghanistan, who suppress the lives of women. Who gives them the right? If they say their god does, then they are lying or deluding themselves and they are missing out because they are ignoring the contribution of women to society. It's their loss but they are also badly affecting the lives of others and I despise them for the damage they do to girls and women under their awfully corrupt religion. I hope things there change and women are restored as valued members of society not just uneducated baby machines. If Shekinah's work is to restore the balance, she has a lot to do but I shall give her all the help I can.

I was early, I had a shower and dressed, using my makeup and wearing some nice clothes. I felt I had a duty to appear as a powerful but sexually attractive woman in response to those who would undermine us, not just men but also women who didn't understand the argument but offered loads of ignorant opinions as a consequence, some even write best-selling books, even if they are poor literature. It seems the majority can't tell the difference.

I got the girls up, Danni came and helped me, she was becoming a lovely elder sister and the younger ones loved her, as did I. She made them cereals and toast, whilst I made teas for those who wanted it. I had drunk it from four years old so I assumed that some of the others would follow my lead. I certainly didn't want them damaging themselves with fizzy colas and other fruit drinks which make them fat and ruin teeth.

I was going into the university; Danni agreed to take the girls to school and catch up with me later. She was becoming quite a valuable component of resistance to the TERFs and brought a younger view to the table. I hated to admit that I was getting older and perhaps didn't represent the younger way of thinking any more. I mentioned it to Diane and she told me that it was better to realise it than be told by a younger woman. I slunk off to my office and awaited a cuppa and the return of my daughter. I heard a rumpus outside and when I went to explore a tall and fat woman was hassling my secretary.

"Where's that tranny, the one who calls herself a woman?" she said loudly at me.

"Who are you talking about?" I replied as if I didn't know what she was talking about.

"You know who I mean, tranny lover."

"You are being abusive to my staff, we will not tolerate it, leave my office now or I shall call security and have you removed."

"Ha, you don't frighten me."

"I think I might, after my report you will probably be suspended if not expelled."

"So you prefer pretend women to a real one then."

"I don't like to seem prejudiced but we've never had a fishwife on one of our courses before. I'd like your name, please."

"Fuck off, I ain't tellin' you my name."

"Diane, please call security." It was at this point Danni entered the scene.

"We're gonna make this a tranny free uni," the fat girl said to Danni.

"I didn't know we had women sumo wrestlers," replied my daughter, "if we do make it tranny free, does that mean you'll have to leave?"

"Cheeky mare," said the fat girl and pushed Danni hard enough for her to lose her footing.

"That does it, leave under your own steam or go home on a stretcher."

"Ooh. I'm frightened," she replied.

"Leave it, professor, " said Danni, obviously trying to hide the family connection.

"You don't scare me," she went to push me but I saw it coming grabbed her hand and while she tried to push me off, I held on and twisted her hand against the wrist. She squealed as well she might, it isn't very pleasant and she tried to grab me with her other hand. Then she threw a punch, the impact knocked me flying and the next thing I saw was Danni jump on her and her momentum knocked the big girl down.

At this point security arrived, two burly men. "Arrest that woman she's assaulted me and one of my students."

"Better come with us, Miss," said one of the security men and she hit him and pole-axed him.

"Now you've done it," said his colleague, she swatted him away as if his fifteen stone frame was a feather. Then she returned her attention to me. I told Diane to call the police. We had evidence, the security men wear body cams. She swung at me, I stepped inside and my right uppercut dropped her like a stone.

"Where on earth did you learn to do that?" asked my daughter.

"I told you, I learned how to fight dirty when I lived in Bristol." The groans from the carpet told us she hadn't enjoyed meeting my fist, but I have witnesses it was self-defence.

The police eventually arrived and took her away, a little quieter than before. I made a statement, as did Diane and Danni and the two security guards. She was arrested for common assault on four people. She didn't give her name.

"I don't recognise her," offered my daughter.

"I think she may be an outsider, sent to upset us," I said holding a bag of ice against my knuckles.

"Instead you showed we won't be cowed by violence."

"Be extra careful from now on, if Goliath's twin sister didn't get the desired result, they may use weapons next time, and no one's head is a hard as a baseball bat."

Not the best morning I've had and wasn't my hand aching?

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3443 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~`
So we had dealt with Miss Hulk, although in all fairness, I don't think she looked green until I hit her. I'd been told that if you want to effect an outcome to punch with all my bodyweight behind it. Where you hit somebody is also important but the reality was in a real fight, you hit someone anywhere you can. I was lucky she had left her jaw open and a good bop on it tends to slow most people down, even hardened fighters. I had put quite an effort into the uppercut, which is why we were at the QA getting my hand X-rayed. In the end it was just badly bruised and the surgeon had asked me how I did it. I had originally said thumping my husband, but he gave me a questioning look and I told him the truth, about defending myself and several staff against the woman mountain, and that she had come on to me again despite the police being present and I defended myself. He asked me what I did for a living. I told him I taught at the university and he shook his head, "I thought only men brawl."

"Well, tell it to Miss Shrek, she started it."

"And you just happened to finish it?"

"You sound as if you were there," I joked.

"No, I just put 'em back together. No alcohol involved was there."

"At nine o'clock in the morning?"

"Well, that doesn't necessarily make a difference, some people drink at all times of the day."

"I don't and neither does my family, it's too fattening for one thing, and increasing evidence is showing even a small amount damages you."

"Yes, anything nice seems to make you fat, grey haired or pregnant."

Danni drove me from the hospital. I'd got some cream at home to help with bruising so as my hand was not broken, I'd put up with the discomfort as best I could. I hadn't actually wanted to do anything about it but Danni had insisted, so in order to stop her nagging me, we'd gone to A&E. Now it was lunch time and we all accompanied Daddy to his favourite venue and ate a jacket potato. He asked about the scramble in the biology department, with the police involved, it had gone round the grapevine in minutes.

Danni told it from her perspective with Diane and I filled in the bit she missed. He shook his head and asked me to promise to avoid violence in future, didn't want his staff brawling in the corridors. I told him I was brawling and the woman had started it and she had attacked several of my staff, so I stopped it. He smirked as I told him this. I suppose I had a certain reputation for defending myself over the years. I knew as soon as I got home I was going to do a workout in the garage and remind myself of my kickboxing moves. Which is what I did. Danni came with me and her practice was considerably more athletic than mine. At least I felt somewhat prepared if they became violent again.

The aggressive woman had refused to give her name, so the police locked her up and said she would be charged with assault, once that was done she would be set free. Eventually two days later she informed them of her name and address. She was charged with causing an affray, but released. She had come from Brighton and was outraged that we were letting men share 'women-only' spaces. She was reminded of the university policy towards trans-women, which she called rubbish.

Andy Bond came to see me the next day and asked me what was going on. I told him about these radical feminists not accepting that transwomen were accepted as women if they behaved as such. So far we'd not had a problem and the female students had supported the policy. They had just said at the meeting, "If it walks like a duck...". The meeting had been over very quickly. It was agreed that transwomen were just, if not more vulnerable than biological women and the usual perpetrators of attacks were heterosexual men. Seeing as they didn't use women's loos or changing facilities, the problem was imaginary.

It so happened that we had a complaint of sexual harassment of a woman student by another woman. Red lights began to flash in case it was a set up, to cast aspersions on the lesbian group. I immediately sent for the only one I knew who was researching a PhD and was therefore still on campus. I explained what had happened and why I was trying not to fan the flames but to keep all parties happy. Thankfully, she understood and mentioned the radical feminists as getting them all a bad reputation. She also had no problem with trans students, although she said that she didn't see herself becoming involved with one. Going out of my office she spotted Danni and her expression changed. I think she fancied my daughter. They were unlikely to meet as Louise was a mathematics major, a very clever girl, who said she knew Trish, who she regarded as close on a genius. I agreed.

The girl who claimed she was assaulted was asked what she wanted to do about it; did she want the police involved and could she give us more details about the girl she was accusing. It was Laura, who we knew was abroad. I told her that anyone found to be making spurious allegations about a member of staff or a fellow student could find themselves asked to leave the university if the claims were found to be false. She suddenly withdrew the complaint. It seemed the enemy were trying to be more subtle.

They suspected we had other trans students but they lacked details of who they were so couldn't stage anything. I half wondered if they try to persuade a man to wear drag and pretend to assault one of their group, but so far they hadn't tried it.

The university had also tried to quietly increase security, especially in those areas seen as women's spaces, but with conferences and other external courses being run we had lots of strange faces around the place. It was just normal summer stuff for us and the uni earned quite a bit of money for doing it. I was worried because it was another factor we had to try and watch and stop it becoming an issue.

The problem with conferences is that you can't police it like a course. There is no obligation for delegates to attend different things and some like to visit the historic dockyard instead of attending a day on whatever their specialty was. I didn't necessarily blame them although if it was a profession they were in it could compromise their PD obligations were it to come to light. But that was their problem, we just provided facilities for their conference. One of those was providing speakers on occasion and that may be on all sorts of things, plus of course, we arranged guest speakers for them for umpteen things, usually trying to improve motivational skills which may involve a successful sports coach or athlete, trying to gee them up a bit. Personally, unless it was a chance to meet someone famous, I thought it was a waste of time.

I was down dealing with security when Diane buzzed me. I went back to the office to see what she wanted, hoping nothing untoward had happened. Daddy was there with a grim expression on his face. "What's happened?" I asked.

"We have a conference of ecologists this week."

"Yeah, so what? They've sorted all their speakers and the admin staff do the facilities. So why the grim expression."

"They have a guest speaker from Sussex coming tomorrow."

"So, what's the problem?"

"He's cancelled through illness, he has Covid."

"Well they have plenty more."

"I rang Esmond asking what they could do and he suggested you covering it."

"Me? What was he speaking on?"

"Loss of biodiversity."

"Sorry, it's not my special interest, can't help."

"I already agreed with Esmond and said you'd do it. We'll tell the delegates you have stepped into the breach."

"You must be joking. In five minutes they'll realise I haven't a clue and they'll complain."

"You've got the rest of the day to pull off some stats, and as you are such natural speaker, I'm sure you'll carry the day."

"What have you landed me in this time? You do this regularly as if I'm your 'go to woman'. I already said no. If it was filling in for an absence, teaching students, that's one thing, this is something completely different and most of them will probably know more about this than I do."

"You're special, Cathy, I keep telling you that."

"Yeah, so you say, but you're always telling me that I'm not a proper scientist, I suggest you find one instead."

"Cathy, you'll cope because you are one of the best teachers I have ever seen. Believe me you can do this."

"It's not teaching is it, that's completely different to conference presentations."

"I've seen you enthrall an audience of ordinary punters, you can do this."

"Too bad, they're not ordinary, their specialists expecting to hear something special from someone who has studied the subject, not me, however clever you think I am."

"Please, Cathy, and it's worth three hundred as well, payable to you, not the university."

"Why can't they go and look at the Victory for an hour or two, or the Mary Rose?"

"They'll have done that already, come on, Cathy, I know you can do it."

I don't know why I agreed. I got Danni to help me researching. We looked at the latest theories on loss of biodiversity for different groups of organisms but the more we looked the answers were much the same. Climate change, loss of habitat and use of pesticides. We also had the discharge of sewage into water courses and particular factors like that affecting the River Wye, which is caused by poultry farming and agricultural runoff, it causes eutrophication. For those who don't know, this is the over-enrichment of a water body with things like nitrates and potassium, both present in poultry waste products. They cause plants, especially algae to proliferate and those can use up all the oxygen and kill fish and invertebrates and if they are certain types of algae they can produce toxins which can kill larger vertebrates like dogs that drink the water or swim in it.

By the time Danni and I left at six, I had hunted down enough slides to illustrate the talk I was going to do and I knew what I was going to say. By the time I went to bed, I had put it together and would talk to my slides. All I had to decide was what I was going to wear. Oh boy, the delights of being a woman, I don't think. In a way the problem was one of my own making. I'd accumulated so many nice dresses and suits and separates that I was spoilt for choice, but again like my talk, I had an idea of what I'd wear, so I slept quite well in view of the pressure on me. So not only was I dealing with the house, well, nominally, I was also dealing with TERFs and what they may do next, plus this talk. One of these days, I'll say no, but in a way I enjoy the challenge.

I'd been brought up in an English class where we had to do a presentation to the rest of the class on a subject we had to research ourselves. We were also expected to talk on a subject chosen by a teacher. That was different and could encompass anything. For instance, I was given one entitled, 'Why I enjoy wearing makeup.' I was set up for that, it wasn't Mr Whitehead. I had my morning break time to think about what I was going to say and would have to say it after.

I hadn't done Lady Macbeth then, but I was known as a girly-boy before then. So when i began my five minute talk they were all whistling and hooting at me. I played it straight and just described using cosmetics to enhance my femininity. I went back to my seat afterwards blushing like a tomato, the teacher not helping. "Thank you Miss Watts, I didn't realise you knew so much about applying makeup, seems we got the right person this time." It was pointless protesting that I watched my mother and other girls using cosmetics, so I just sat and blushed.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3444 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~287 dozen for dodecaphiles~~~~`

When people hire our facilities for conferences they also hire the use of technicians to run slides and audio for the academic sessions. Most of them have been at university and many of them will have masters or doctoral degrees as well. That doesn't mean they won't get drunk or bunk off like any other delegates because as I have mentioned before, intelligence doesn't stop you doing stupid things. Consider the majority of cocaine used in this country; it's used by wealthy, clever people who are bored or anxious or depressed, sometimes all three. I have no sympathy - they chose their careers and their lifestyle. If that includes snorting coke, that is their business but if I catch them doing it on university property, I will bust them and police will be called. I do it with our own students as well. If they chose to feed their noses rather than minds, we will offer support if they want to get clean, otherwise it isn't a case of my way or the highway, we send them down and also may prosecute. The official line is no tolerance of drugs, whatever they are except alcohol or tobacco and the latter isn't to be used in any of the rooms, including bathrooms. As we don't encourage its use we don't have outside facilities for smokers, so they may well get wet or freeze their arses off in winter.

All this is made abundantly clear in our welcome pack. 'You can't do this or that but have a good time.' We have to have policies against antisocial behaviour and illegal activities. It doesn't stop students walking off with library books, some of which are worth a hundred pounds or more. The librarians send them letters and emails but that's all we do. I tried to suggest we withhold degrees if the book is over a hundred pounds, but the university council wouldn't back me; poor little students, they work so hard under so much stress. That applies to one or two and they usually return their books. Most are suffering from self imposed stress by preferring to spend time at the student's union, getting pissed or laid, or both. We let them get away with it to a large extent but I'm a puritan when it comes to self-responsibility. One term, because university may be the first time they've been away from home, and we don't know what their family lives are like, but afterwards the work rate is expected to rise and the pressure, and we expect them to knuckle down and work. If they don't we offer some support, but then it's up to them. It's not a holiday camp for bored adolescents, it's a place of learning and we have some very good departments here, leaders in their fields, my own department being one of them, but our palaeontology department is quite often in the news with discoveries and new theories. As I have said before, for a small university we punch above our weight in lots of areas; it's my ambition to keep it that way but there is funding crisis coming in university education. Administrations often don't see these things coming nor do they appreciate it when we point it out to them; apparently, they prefer to behave like ostriches and probably lay as many eggs.

Now back to the conference. I had been volunteered to lecture on biodiversity loss, something which it appears we are the best at in Europe. We have higher rates than any other country. That isn't the fault of universities, we have been shouting about this for years, but we will be the ones expected to sort it. So I can give you a list of things where conservation is working but it's a drop in the ocean compared to where things have lost species or where development or agriculture is continuing to erode the countryside and its wildlife. We have loads of sewage fungus but not invertebrates or fish in our rivers. The previous government couldn't give a shit, and when they did it ended up in one of our rivers or lakes.

I had arrived at university early, had a cuppa with Diane, then went down to the lecture hall the conference was using. I went to see John one of our senior technicians and gave him my thumb drive of slides I was going to use. He quickly viewed some of them and nodded. I explained I had replaced a guest speaker and would talk to the slides and that they were in five or six categories that Danni and I put together yesterday. He said he would support me as best he could. I knew I could rely on him and he appreciated me going to see him whenever I lectured and he was my tech. I told him there was a bottle of plonk in my office for him when we had finished. He smiled, I knew he didn't drink very much and a bottle of good quality wine would be savoured when he got home.

Okay, I treat people as I would like to be treated. He's only doing his job and is remunerated for it. But I know if the wotsit hits the spinning thing, he'll do his best for me to keep the audio and video equipment working and minimise any disruption. It's his job, I know, but I also know he'll walk the extra mile for me.

I was wearing a Chanel dress with a jacket. It was one of Stella's cast offs. It looked better on me now than when she gave it to me, my figure had filled out in boobs and hips. I had to watch what I ate from time to time but my waist had stayed trim. I was wearing high heeled shoes that had been a present from Simon, he didn't know it at the time and when I told him, he simply shrugged. They were relatively comfortable and I knew I could wear them all morning. I hoped to escape at lunchtime.

I met the conference organiser and suddenly discovered I was the keynote speaker for that day. That shook me. I thought I was just filling a gap and I was winging it to do that. This news meant my lecture wasn't going to be the review I'd intended but something much more, almost a call to arms to ecologists. Oh boy, as if I didn't have enough on my plate. I was to be the last speaker of the morning and had been given an hour's slot, the rest only had half of that. Oh boy, two or three speakers then coffee and then I was on. Shit I can't run fast in this outfit and shoes. I shall have something to say to Daddy later, 'only gap plugging,' my arse.

My mind was working in hyper mode trying to think how I could make the most of my slides. I decided I would start by hammering every point in as passionate a way as I could and try and observe the response from the audience. Henry the Vth it wasn't but some of Shakespeare's theatrics might just be useful. Eventually, the coffee break was over and I was on. Here goes nothing, I thought to myself, it's shit or bust.

I was introduced by the session's chair and notice Tom sneaking in and sitting next to Danni. Great, if I cock up, I'll never hear the end of it." Hi, I'm Cathy Watts and as your chairman said I'm here to cover for one of your colleagues who is sick with Covid. I'd like to pause just a moment and send the best wishes of the conference to him for a speedy recovery, they say this latest mutation isn't very nice. Although I'm a professor of biological science, I am by training and inclination an ecologist, I'm happier out chasing dormice than being here at this particular moment, and my hope is that the rest of you don't think the same of me when I've finished,

"I was volunteered yesterday to do this talk so you'll have to bear with me and I hope will be tolerant if it wasn't quite what you were expecting. My fame such as it is, or notoriety which is more likely, is partially due to this," and I showed the Youtube clip of Spike parachuting down my blouse. I assured them she had a soft landing, which got a laugh. They were doing their best to go with me. I then added, "Ecologists get some unusual requests." I showed a clip of me getting Bramble out of a tin she'd got stuck on her head. I then showed me in all my glory as Lady Macbeth. They were all laughing now and I knew I had them.

"I don't take myself too seriously but I take my job very seriously. I study dormice and have written papers, books and even made films about them. I am passionate about them and I hope because of my efforts, they are increasing here in south Hampshire. I don't work on my own, unless I'm boring folk in conferences, but with a team. We all support each other." They liked that and started to applaud but I waved them to stop, "Don't they'll all get big headed," more laughter. I'm here to talk about biodiversity loss, so it's nice to show an example of gain." More applause. I nodded and smiled then I hit my rhythm. I had set the slides under four or five categories that causes loss of biodiversity and I railed against all of them, pollution of water courses showing faeces and condoms floating in a river, climate change, photos of flooding and dead animals in a drought, building sites showed loss of habitat, especially when I was able to show before and after slides, often of the loss of woodland or hedgerow.

I spoke with passion and with the need for action, for the recording and publishing of papers showing what we were doing wrong about the damage climate sceptics were doing the cause, and the need to tell as many of the public what was happening. "It's okay to speak of 70 or 80% loss of insects, how do ordinary people relate to that. Tell them that's why they don't see swifts anymore, they have no food. Why aren't they seeing butterflies in their gardens? Can we blame agriculture for all of it. No, because wildlife sympathetic farmers are like gold dust and must be encouraged. Sort out the government's payments to farmers, we still need food, pay them to respect nature and their land, it's priceless. Educate them, we need insects to pollinate their crops, we need insects full stop. Birds need insects and so do fish and mammals. We all need them, and the greater the biodiversity the better it will be for all of us.

"When I was a girl, I used to pond dip at a stately home. I kept meticulous records of what I saw and the assemblages. I showed the groundsman what my figures were showing, I even managed graphs. My inverts were dwindling and quite suddenly. He investigated and found it was due to one of the new groundsmen using too much of a pesticide. They stopped him as it was a case of his lack of experience, but things were improved and the following year my inverts were back to near normal.

We can all make a difference; okay it's small scale but we need to inform everyone to make changes to stop pollution, to stop eroding the countryside, to stop eutrophication. To try to limit climate change and to stop persecution of wildlife, even rats have their place, mainly in Westminster," I threw in an aside and they laughed.

"Thank you, I'm Cathy Watts, be safe." I stopped and they all rose to their feet applauding. I bowed and went to leave the stage but the chairman stopped me mouthing 'questions' at me. I stopped and of course realised they'll know I was flying by the seat of panties when I try to answer questions.

However, buoyed by my apparent tirade they were more comments than questions and I was presented with a bouquet and able to escape. I met up with Tom and Danni who both thought my switch to emoting was just the right element to get them all going. I spoke quietly to Daddy, "Next time you're in the shit, don't expect me save you, that talk shortened my life by weeks." He blushed and looked away. Replying that he knew I was up to it. "Come on," he said, "lunch is on me," and steered us towards my car., tuna salad with a jacket potato looked just the ticket and I was hungry.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3445 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~287 dozen for dodecaphiles~~~~`

After my day of triumph at the conference, I was tempted to give the flowers to Diane for putting up with me, instead I gave them to Danni as she helped me put the talk together and gave me quite a bit of her time. She was absolutely speechless when I presented her with them after we got home. "But you earned those, you did the talk and very good it was too."

"Thank you, I think. The back room girls rarely get appreciated, but this time you are, you were wonderful in trying to help me put the talk together, giving up your afternoon and evening. So I'm saying I recognise that help and I thought you'd like the flowers."

"I don't know what to say, thanks, Mum it was really good seeing how you put a talk together, I couldn't do but I'm learning from a master." She blushed and kissed me and gave me a little hug, I think that was to hide the tears that were starting to form and she took her flowers and dashed into the laundry room. Hannah went to follow her but I called her back, she just shrugged and mouthed hormones at me, so I nodded. Those pesky chemicals are a damn nuisance, causing all sorts of emotional problems for us women and girls, but without them, things would be a whole lot worse, even with a body like mine that generates some of its own.

That stimulated a distant memory of Murray spotting my modest breast growth and accusing me of artificial boosting, 'to advertise my availability to a certain type of boy or man'. He told me it was disgraceful and wouldn't let me answer him. But just as he was bawling me out in his horrible office, his secretary popped her head in to give him a message. I called to her and asked if she would accompany me to a staff toilet to verify that the breast growth was mine .She looked aghast at my suggestion but followed me to one of the female staff toilets, that I was told to use when dressed as a girl.

"What exactly are we doing, Watts?"

"Murray has accused me of wearing a bra stuffed with filling to simulate breast growth, I want you to see that I'm not and tell him so."

She looked oddly at me as I stripped off my blazer, jumper and shirt and tie. I drew open the shirt and although I was wearing a sports bra, the small A-cup breasts were real. She looked on in astonishment. "How do I know they aren't those stick on ones the drag artists use"

I undid the bra and held it in my hand, "Touch them, they're real and all me."

"I don't know, staff get accused of all sorts of things by naughty pupils."

"I can assure you I won't, I just want you to verify that I'm not wearing a padded bra to attract boys for immoral actions, like that dipstick Murray accuses me."

"I don't think you should call the headmaster names, Watts."

"Call him names, the misogynistic sadistic creep shouldn't be allowed anywhere near children, he's dangerous and accusing me of being things I'm not. I just want to get an education and go to university."

She gave me a funny look, "How does him picking on you make him a misogynist?"

"Because I'm a girl and I noticed how he treats you and other female staff."

"If you're a girl, shouldn't you be transferring to the girls' school?"

"My body sort of says boy, but my brain is all girl. My dad doesn't want to think about it and beats me up every time I mention it. Murray hasn't laid a hand on me, but he turns a blind eye to bullies doing it for him. He announces my presence to the school and gives coded messages to the bullies that it's okay to beat me up or harass me, which they do."

"You're not gay are you Watts?"

"I'm a nothing, but I know I feel like a girl, my best friend who is a girl even accuses me of having monthly cycles of emotional ups and downs. I don't have periods but I do sometimes have an awareness of grumpiness and sometimes being upset for no reason like she is when she's at different stages of her cycle."

"Isn't that just wish fulfilment, fooling yourself that you're simulating periods."

"I want to go to the doctor and have him take blood and see what hormones are there, but my dad won't allow it, he calls me queer and is ashamed of me because his stupid religion tells him I'm a sinner. If God made us in his own likeness, then he must have made me too, although I think man made god in his own likeness and churches have been conning us ever since."

"Your breasts appear to be real, is it gynecomastia?"

"I don't know, I don't tend to flash them about because it tends to have negative repercussions, and I certainly don't take my shirt off in front of my dad."

"What about your mum? We mums are perhaps more understanding of these things?"

"She's another god-botherer and under Dad's control. She's taught me to cook and sew a bit, but she has to be careful that my dad doesn't catch on. I had to shorten his last new trousers and she made me do it properly. She tells him if ever she's ill, I can stand in for her. He doesn't like it but he can hardly boil an egg for himself."

"Put your bra back on, is that a sports one?"

"Yes it stops them bouncing when I run and flattens them a little, but I wear a jumper under my blazer to try and hide them."

"Aren't you a bit warm in this weather?" It was May.

"You get used to that."

"You're not taking anything to make them grow, like birth control pills."

"No, a doctor wouldn't prescribe them until I'm at least 16 and my dad would play hell if he did."

"I think you need to see one."

"Yeah, well that's not gonna happen, is it?"

"Sorry I can't help you, Watts."

"You already are, maybe you can notice how often he victimises me?"

"I suspect you give as good as you get."

"I plan on surviving long enough to get my A-levels and get to uni, maybe I can sort myself out there and live as the girl I know I should be."

"I wish you luck Watts, but you realise I can't get involved."

"If you do as I ask and tell him what you saw, that will be enough. I'm not asking for anything else."

She left me to redress, obviously having an internal dialogue with herself, possibly seeing how vulnerable I really was both to bullies, Murray and my dad. I didn't realise that she left shortly afterwards having written to the education department of our council but Murray had friends there and nothing ever came of it. They say the Devil looks after his own, which is more than a supposed poxy god does, in my experience anyway. I reckon if Jesus came to earth now, Christians would nail him to a tree within a couple of weeks, especially if he preached love and tolerance, they tend to find hate makes more money or power, which is why I eschew them as much as I can. My agnosticism hasn't half helped my vocabulary.

My day dream seemed to last hours but in fact it was only minutes because Danni asked me what we were going to do about the TERFs. My attention had been distracted by other things although my hand still ached from time to time, so what the woman mountain's jaw was like I hated to think. Apart from the occasional twinge I had no regrets and felt my hand was probably well enough to hit her again, though I wasn't sure a professor brawling with malign forces was exactly the picture I wanted to present, although in my defence I was defending my students, staff and a couple of coppers.

"I haven't given it a lot of thought; the TERFs did a small protest at the conference and they have me down as a tranny lover, which has a certain irony of its own, when you think about it." Danni smirked, she was down as the same, even though in both our cases it had been recorded that we had been registered as male once upon a time.

"I asked Diane if Sussex had sent anything, she said not yet," Danni told me.

"You're really into this, aren't you?"

"I plan on surviving and as a female, so I have to be interested. Those nutters from Sussex are dangerous. But then anyone who went there is." She rolled her eyes to see if I would bite.

"You're accusing Debs of being dangerous then? Or Laura, remember they came from there."

"I'm well aware that someone a lot closer to me is probably ten times as dangerous as anyone else, and hope it continues, it may be the only thing keeping me safe."

"I'm glad you appreciate your old mum occasionally."

"We all appreciate you all the time, I just don't tell you always because it would make you big-headed."

"Is that what you really think?"

"No but it was the best I could do at short notice."

"Come into my office, and I'll email Esmond." She did a few minutes later having made tea for Diane and us. Diane followed her in.

"You dragged her up all right and proper," she announced to both of us.

"See girl, I knew someone would spot it one day."

"Only because she'd like to keep her job," cracked Danni.

"Is that what you really think?" asked Diane.

"Hush, Esmond's sending something through to us, he thinks something is brewing, they've been too quiet for too long, ever since that woman sumo wrestler attacked us and got carted off by the police."

"Oh, I didn't notice what they had hold of," joked Danni.

"More will follow as he receives it, I also had one from Simon, it's gone quiet in the States as well, ever since someone tried to perforate Trump and Joe Biden resigned from the race. I think he did the right thing as the Democrats seem to have hope again of winning. Trump won't be quiet for long but a lot of his rhetoric is out of date now, 'Sleepy Joe', and all that. People may also reckon as he is nearly twenty years older than Harris, that he's too old as well and should withdraw, as Vance won't win on his own, too many know he's a hypocrite, but then that's never stopped Trump. People know he's a liar and a convicted felon but they still vote for him, because he's Trump. It's bit like how Boris had support even though he was a cad and rogue who told nearly as many lies as Trump."

"But he had a bit more class than Trump," suggested Diane and I looked at Danni who rolled her eyes.

"He may have had a better education than the orange one, Eton and Oxford, but he's still lazy and unreliable, hopefully the electorate will know it if he ever tries to surface again." I philosophised.

"He couldn't, could he?" asked an astonished Danni.

"There are so many factors these days, all the conspiracies of the net plus all the nonsense of Facebook and its closed groups, I would say anything is possible though I hope unlikely. Plus interference from Russia and China."

"Gosh that frightening," said Danni, visibly shuddering.

"It makes war more likely, but I forecast that years ago. Putin needs to be beaten and forced to withdraw, but without US support that is unlikely. If Trump wins it becomes even less likely." I gave my opinion and we all felt a little worried.

"Seeing as we depend too much on computers, and the chaos the other week, Russia and China must be rubbing their hands. Remember both are ruthless as well as unprincipled, so watch this space."

"Wow, Mum, ever thought about buying something in Scotland and building a nuclear-type shelter, I mean Dad could probably afford it."

"I think we'll just put that on the back burner for the moment."

"If you do, keep me a room, you never know when you'll need a secretary," added Diane and we all went off for lunch in the refectory, which was only open for an hour at lunch in the holiday.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3446 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~

I was lying in bed reminiscing my episode in which I had remembered how she had verified my breast growth. I had insisted that a woman should be the verifier because I was female myself. It was the first time I had revealed that to Murray, who was to take advantage of it several times. He argued how I could resist his idea for me to play Lady Macbeth, if I was really a girl? He used the same argument when he wanted me to portray a girl in presentations and so on.

Normally, if you need a girl to do something, you ask the girl's school to supply one. Now there was a lot of bad feeling between Murray and the headmistress of the girl's school. It was rumoured that she had been insulted by not being asked to supply girls for the Scottish play, including the main protagonist's wife. Murray, because she had been snotty once before flipped her off, after all he now had his weirdo boy/girl, me. The other girls' parts in the play had been played by young or feminine looking boys, most of which were non-speaking parts anyway.

In trying to keep my father on board with his abusive ideas, he made no mention of my boob check or my claims to be female, of the latter I had made such to my father before but he pooh-poohed them. He shrugged it off by telling me to grow up and try to be a man. I don't know how many women will ever read this but I ask them to think how they would feel to be told such a thing. It's like telling a badly depressed person to cheer up and pull their socks up. Yeah, right.

Like my boob exam, I had nearly forgotten another episode in my life which was far from pleasant. I was a third former, about 13 or 14 years old; I was practically ignored by puberty, with none of the normal signs of the process so my face was smooth, my voice was still soprano or treble and obviously I had no sign of a growth in my thyroid cartilage or Adam's apple. I had not much muscle growth, so still had a rounded rather than angular body shape with my slowly developing breasts and rump with widening hips. I was insensitive to testosterone though this was unknown at the time. Therefore my body followed the female norm from which the male body has to deviate, usually helped by the Y chromosome and the secretions of androgens it causes.

Murray had decided that I should present some visiting dignitary, a female one, with a bouquet when she came. For some reason, the evil bastard had no shortage of contacts among this group of B-listers, why I never did discover. The dignitary was a cabinet minister or something. I had no interest in politics in those days, so the name has escaped me, but she was important enough to require that we rehearsed said presentation.

So for two days running I had to wear the girl's uniform. It was a nuisance to me because I was teased and bullied by the louts who made up a significant part of the school populous. So there I was wandering around the school trying to be invisible because it suggested I might live longer, inured to everyone addressing me as Charlotte but not necessarily treating me as a girl, though some did. I suppose for those with small brains someone with long hair and wearing a skirt usually meant they were a girl. I suppose my controversial dress and general appearance blew what functioning brain cells they actually had, and some actually avoided me, as if I bore some awful disease. I suppose I did, femininity or oestrogen. Some who spared the time to talk with me were often quite sympathetic telling me that they couldn't understand why no one could see I was not a boy but rather a girl. "You're too good at this to be a normal boy, either you're a queer or you really are a girl." I argued for the latter but it was never pursued where it mattered.

I was busy trying to maintain my cloak of invisibility, well, it worked for Harry Potter, when I heard a familiar voice behind me. "Charlotte," (some addressed me thus even in boy form) "take this letter to Mr Dodds, he's out on the training pitches." The voice belonged to Mr Whitehead. "I know if I ask you, it'll get done." In the back of my mind I could hear an argument between my parents and my mother telling Dad, that if you wanted a job done properly, you ask a woman. They were discussing my recent shortening of my dad's trousers that I had had to do for him. He tried to bluster that I was his son not his daughter, so she was talking rubbish, he used to say that a great deal, as if women only spoke dribble.

"But I trained him how to do it, and supervised the task, so it was as if I had done it, but it was his fingers carrying out my instruction, but it was still being done like my mother had shown me, so doubly female." As he couldn't do it himself and alteration tailors were not especially cheap, it fell to my mother to do it, which she used as a teaching project. I had to do it exactly as she showed me, so it was a neat bit of sewing. I even had to press it too, which meant turning the trousers inside out and pressing it on the inside. To practice my hemming I'd had to redo a skirt of hers where the hem had caught on something and was largely down. Within an hour I'd done it and used a proper hemming stitch like she had shown me. Dad wasn't there when she did that and she called me Charlotte, and referred to us as girls for the evening but I couldn't plead with her to take me to a doctor because she'd have ignored me, pretending that I was learning how girls had to do things if I so wanted to be one.

If you remember I re-hemmed a skirt or dress for Stella when we first met or soon after, so it came in handy after all. I trotted off towards where I assumed Mr Dodds was and found him there. I handed him the letter which he thanked me for and then remarked that I even ran like a bloody girl. Fed up with such comments, I told him I was not a bloody girl as I wasn't on a period. The boys around him laughed but he told me to piss off before he thumped me.

I decided to walk across the pitches rather than trot, the grass was dry and I picked the odd wild flower as I went, trying to identify them as I went and to remember the family they belonged to as well. Botany was never my strong point but I was trying and it seemed to be an acceptable activity given how I was dressed.

As I came back to the school buildings, where we had stores for nets and goal posts, which were almost cellars or basements, being dug under the school rooms proper, in fact I think most were under a corridor upstairs so the noise wouldn't affect the teaching in the rooms above. I didn't spot the person behind me who barged aggressively into me knocking me into the games equipment store. It had a light but was quite dark and full of cobwebs, spiders and general dust from the things that had been stored there and still were.

I was shoved unceremoniously down a line of horizontal goal posts, down a corridor no more than a couple of feet wide, trying to keep my uniform clean but failing miserably. "Right, you bloody queer, you are going to service all of us here, so get down on your knees and get swallowing." Someone pulled the door closed and it was even darker. I could hardly make out the penis draped in front of my face. The repugnance I felt was beyond description, okay so I saw myself as female, but I had no sense of my sexuality and this was gross.

I counted four of them, two held me, one flapped his willie in my face and the fourth was on door duty. I protested that I wasn't queer, but a girl. The answer I received was simple it didn't matter because either way, both groups gave blow jobs to men. I almost laughed at this, men, ha. I tried to point out that If they orgasmed, then they were the queers not me. They replied, that I had a girl's mouth so either way they were going to enjoy me and if I didn't give them all satisfaction, I was going to be penetrated somewhere else. Effectively this was starting to become a serious sexual assault if they continued. I tried to reason with them, aware my tights on my knees had laddered as they roughly pushed me on the ground.

I refused and they threatened to hit my face, I was slapped once which I knew would bruise, but it would be evidence I could present to my parents. All this had taken maybe ten minutes and I was scared stiff. I had been threatened with sexual assault several times but had been able to talk my way out of it, this time that didn't look as if it would. My fear factor reached new heights. Apart from the blow jobs or worse they were threatening, I wondered what they would do to me after when they realised how serious the trouble was they were creating for all of us. They could decide to badly beat me or even kill me, if they did I'd be seriously miffed as well as insulted.

Mr Whitehead, whose class I was missing began to wonder where I was, no one had seen me since I took the letter. He began to worry as he realised how vulnerable I was in such a sea of testosterone. He began to walk down towards the pitches where Dodds had his letter. He was walking back to the school when they met, so they both knew I had delivered it. So where was I? He began to call my name and the boys in the equipment room started to worry. One grabbed my hair and threatened me if I made a sound. Sweat was running down my back and my knees now hurt on the hard ground, a rough concrete surface.

Whitehead was close now and I could hear him talking to Dodds. I wanted to scream but they held a dirty rag to my mouth, but it was probably preferable to the sweaty organ they had previously offered and which still hung near my face. It was so dark I could hardly make out anything, my hands were resting on the floor and I felt something small under my hand, it was like a tent peg they used to hold the goal nets out behind the posts. I grabbed it and as I heard Dodds call my name this time I picked up the thick piece of wire that a tent peg is and stabbed it into the hand that was holding the rag, he screamed in pain and we were discovered. They took him to hospital to get the peg out of his hand.

I suppose everyone is wondering why I didn't stick something else with the peg, well it was so horrible, that I couldn't bear the thought of it, also I didn't want to kill him just make him shout and his hand was close and easily pegged.

The four boys were eventually expelled and nearly faced being prosecuted by the police. If they had, Murray's abuse would have come to light, he used his friends in high places to keep it quiet and despite my ordeal I managed to make the presentation the next day, wearing opaque tights, my knees swathed in dressings where they had scraped on the concrete floor. Fortunately, Mr Whitehead had been able to dissuade Murray from suggesting it was all down to me having unnatural desires that ensnared the boys. One with his penis hanging out of his flies showed Whitehead and Dodds what they were about and my response to it with the tent peg. They could accuse me of much but sex acts and violence weren't my usual thing, the latter came later when I was threatened and forced to defend myself, using resources I learned a year or so after. Even so one against four is not good odds and I could have been quite injured physically as well as mentally.

I woke up trying to forget the incident by thinking of Simon and my girls but I hated to think what my blood pressure was doing, I was just grateful I was rescued. I was surprised when I thought of Whitehead's journal, thankfully it wasn't mentioned in that or Simon may have had four accidents happen to some people from it. I never mentioned it again and I promised myself I never would.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3447 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~

Later, I was safe from my memories as the girls and Tom took all my attention. It was Saturday, and upstairs in bed lay my husband who had been pleased to see me and showed it. I was still sore from his affection but trying not to walk too funny and set the girls off. Danni had noticed but unlike Trish she said something quiet and supportive. After breakfast she had to rush off to Bournemouth for a preseason friendly with Reading, so she would meet girls she used to play with, but which were now their opponents. Their coach had come up with a plan that Danni plays out of position and with a different style to puzzle their opponents and then when a scoring chance arises for her to go back to her normal aggressive style of play. Being aggressive doesn't mean knocking players down or fouling, or it didn't in her case, it just meant playing forward and trying to score goals.

As in many other teams she had played for, she wasn't the thrust of the team, but with her exceptional ball skills, she required heavy marking and often that took attention from another player who could nip in and score. She was a huge distraction and very dangerous anywhere in the opposing half, she had scored goals from all over the pitch and because she had a footballing brain she had opportunities before others did if they saw them at all. Sometimes the first any of the other team knew it they were kicking off again being a goal down.

Her coach couldn't understand why England weren't more interested in her, because of her skill level, they merely replied that she didn't fit their playing style. One correspondent had asked which playing style was that - losing? The Bournemouth coach had decided that if they didn't want her in an England jersey, he didn't care because Bournemouth wanted her in one of theirs, not only that but she had a new contract which included a significant winner's bonus and a separate one for goals made or scored. If she wasn't injured, she could make quite a lot of money. I thought she was worth it but then, I'm her mum. It worried me because if it became known, other teams would try to close her down and neutralise her team, and one way to do that is by injuring her. I therefore made it known that we would sue for any deliberate fouls or injuries in the same way you may for injuries caused outside a football pitch. Not that it would stop a determined fouler until they met Jason across a courtroom. I knew there would be cries of it's alright for the rich to which I would reply, it isn't alright for bullies and dirty players, they will pay for their sins and I meant it.

Danni told me not be silly, I told her I wasn't and if someone's deliberate foul stops you playing for any length of time, or permanently, I am going to sue them for every penny they have, plus any they expect or their family or team or club has. It will cost me loads, but it will cost them more. I will also sue referees and the FA if they allow dirty play to happen. Eventually, the bullies will be chased away.

"You have an issue with bullies, don't you?" Dannie asked me.

Yes, I was bullied for the first twenty-odd years of my life. Now I can respond by going after them, I will and that includes my family. I will protect them.

"Aren't you being a bit of a bully, yourself?"

"I don't think so, because I'm only after those who deliberately go after me or mine, it means that genuine accidents will be excused, deliberate ones will be prosecuted."

"What if we, your precious family become bullies?"

"Danni if that happens, then I shall know that they don't understand anything about me and I will take suitable steps to teach them."

"I think you're being a bit over the top with this."

"We'll see, won't we." I began to wonder if my kids really understood me. The word bully makes me flinch and I will stop it if I can. We'd had riots after three little girls were murdered in Stockport. The riots were nothing to do with the murders, in fact those who were most affected called for demonstrations to be stopped. They weren't and groups of louts and thugs went on the rampage smashing and looting properties usually those of minority groups, damaging mosques and setting fire to cars, including police vehicles.

The government reacted and dozens of the thugs were arrested and charged with all sorts of crimes, but it seems to have been stirred up by rightwing agents on social media. Often the accusations or slurs are full-blown lies, that the perpetrator of the murders was an illegal immigrant and muslim. As far as we know he's neither. But it gave xenophobes like Nigel Farage a chance to ask questions which were in themselves racist and incited other to rage. He should be prosecuted for it and other crimes he has committed and thrown out of parliament. The man is poison and should be sent to the Tower, like they did in olden days.

It seems that anyone with a racist gripe can use social media to encourage others to do their dirty work for them. Maybe if we sent them to prisons in India or Iran they'd learn something from the brutality of the systems there. Then they'd know what bullying was all about including waterboarding and electric shocks.

My mind was brought back to current issues when Danni asked me what were we going to do about the TERFs? I hadn't updated myself that day but I was soon appraised of the situation. Diane had sent me a text that Esmond had told her that something was afoot but that he had no details of it. I suggested that we go on an alert and keep watch so as not to be caught napping. Simon told me that things appeared to be happening at the baptist church in the US which were funding the TERF group. He wasn't definite but he said their financial activity seems to have been activated again after weeks of inactivity. It looked as if they were getting ready for something but it was all very secret and they were using Telegram, which encrypts texts between members. This was now the preferred social media for criminals, racists and associated arseholes.

Speaking of the States, they were running away with the medals table of the Olympics and surprisingly, Biles hadn't won all the gold medals for women's gymnastics, one had escaped her. She is still a phenomenon. I wanted to know how Australia, a country with a quarter of our population was well ahead of the UK. I suppose it comes to the UK being a third world country these days after 14 years of the Tories. The same would happen to the US id Trump got in again. His voters don't seem to be on the same planet as the rest of us, seemingly not understanding cause and effect and what he has threatened to do.

They say it's going to get warm again, after a few days of unsettled weather. I speak to people all the time who are asking if this is global warming, where's the heat. I try to explain that climate change causes unsettled weather patterns and that each year for the last twenty of more had been increasingly warmer overall. The oceans were warmer and that was where our weather came from. The energy stored in the Pacific could be released at any time and the power involved in it was mind-blowing, as it caused typhoons and twisters or tornadoes in the Caribbean or southern states of the US, across Asia and parts of Africa and occasionally other places too like mudslides in India and South America. Some seemed to think that was all right but if it meant a wet summer in the UK, it wasn't. I asked them to think about what they had just said. Some don't even seem able to consider they had just talked a load of cobblers, a bit like Reform voters, because they can't see it at all, and it isn't because I've been to university, although that helps you to think critically, it's because they are too thick to understand what they are saying, like Republican voters, didn't weall know that the cause of all the problems in the world is transgender children, or women having the right to choose how they control their reproductive rights. Of course these two groups are the cause of everything and it's nothing to do with the old white men who control everything, including legislatures. See, going to university didn't enable me to see these things, that Trumpites and Republicans can. I obviously don't read enough social media.

Seriously, Danni who had several social media accounts, said that she thought something was happening on Telegram as well as Ticktock and Facebook. It was all very cryptic but it seemed to be moving towards things starting in the next week or two. I repeated my warnings and informed Esmond and Simon and just for completeness sent the text to Henry, he sent me one back thanking me and urged caution.

I'd heard nothing from Laura and assumed she'd gone to ground somewhere in Europe, but obviously, I didn't know for sure. But unbeknownst to me, the biology department was postered over the weekend. This means we had posters calling us tranny lovers stuck everywhere, including over the cameras we have in hallways. They didn't see the hidden ones that James had advised me on, but all the poster stickers were young women dressed in masks and balaclavas, so were probably unidentifiable anyway. They were guilty of a misdemeanour rather than a crime by posting their stuff everywhere. They were also guilty of a hate crime in urging others to action against a sexual minority, transpeople aren't really but it's understood by ordinary people as such. They were breaking the rules of the university council which outlaws such discrimination and were likely to have disciplinary action against them including suspension or expulsion. While it was probable some of them were not students here, if they were students anywhere their own unis could take action and those of ours who let them in, what is supposed to be a secure area, would be prosecuted. It was also going to use strained resources to remove the posters, we have neither loads of staff in the summer, nor the money to waste that these louts have caused us to spend.

I didn't know any of this until someone sent me a What's ap video when they went to feed the dormice on the Sunday. I went absolutely ape, and sent for the head of security who knew even less about it than I did. I was so cross I actually told him to check his pension rights because he may need them early. We called the police, who were no use because it was a civil matter. The only saving grace was one of the caretaking staff wondered if the posters would come off with a steam cleaner, they did or some did and we managed to recover some in one piece. I called James and he collected them for fingerprinting. We reminded to police of hate crimes and I informed them I intended to prosecute everyone we could. I wanted these bastards to have criminal records, to cause them as much pain as they were causing trans students.

They should know the stigma of being different already and they seemed unable or unwilling to see how bigoted they had become but then they were being funded from America and also involving Sussex University as well as our own.

I wanted revenge and I set about plotting how we'd get it including trying to get as many fingerprints from Sussex as we could. I was forming a plan of both action and revenge and my team were all on board, only Tom was urging caution and I told him, "Why? Hanging's too good for them." He visibly paled and walked away.

Kudos and comments are the only rewards writers get, please use them.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3448 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~

It seems Nigel Farage is the best paid MP, how can that be? The only reason I can think is that scum rises to the top. I presume, because he is employed by some media stations, his prejudicial crap is obviously desirable to some. I have always been a patriot for all the reasons that Farage isn't. He obviously doesn't truly believe in compassion and altruism so he grosses huge pay, he also grosses out all thinking people who see him for what he is, self-important shit, Possibly acquired from climbing up Trump's arse. Neither belong in a civilised country as both are barbarians.

James had consulted the fingerprint department of the Met Police, eventually after some wheeler-dealing and Simon's money, he managed to collect several dozen prints from the posters we'd removed from the uni. I began to covertly collect prints from lots of individuals who were still at the university, mainly students and postgraduates who were supposedly doing research. One or two matched with our specimens, we had some names against whom we could act. I explained what I had done to Esmond. He wasn't happy because he thought by acting covertly, we were impinging on their human rights. I reminded him that as both universities had acceptance of minorities enshrined in their constitutions, then those minorities were suffering impingement of their human rights which meant these perpetrators were committing criminal offences, those of hate crimes as laid down in legislation of the country. Once they called a transwoman a man, they were guilty of an offence and we could prosecute. I pointed out that I had no problem with lesbians until they spouted hate or enticement to violence or actions against others who were ironically doing no more than expressing themselves, as they felt themselves to be. In simple terms, lesbians were saying, they were obligatory in their expressions of who they felt themselves to be. I had no problem with that, what annoyed me is the double standards. They wanted acceptance for being lesbian, but the TERFs refused to allow that same acceptance in transgender woman, they are therefore hypocrites and bigots. They are also too stupid to see that, but perhaps their stupidity is also due to their genetics as it seems incurable too.

I got fingerprints by getting people to sign a document, which I them kept untouched by others. It meant loads of paper being used, as a new one was given to each individual, by glove wearing members of staff. We collected dozens before people began to twig. We also collected prints from male students, so avoided being labeled sexist, which again is something we are accused of but which we take steps to avoid. The same tactics worked with Sussex students. the papers were examined by an independent expert ( again from the Met police) and we established enough names to begin questioning them. We showed them the clip and their fingerprints from the posters, we also explained in great detail why we were interviewing them and the possible consequences of their actions; they were at great risk of endangering their university places and research studies and funding. Suddenly we were faced with a dozen or more little girls who were in tears and one or two supportive boys, who were also in the shit. Four of them came from Portsmouth, eight from Brighton. We also managed the backing of the local police forces to consider prosecutions under existing regulations. If successful, these could result in criminal records of hate crimes, behaviour and inciting both violence and hate.

We left it for a few days to see what happened. There was enormous activity on Telegram, social media and ordinary emails with the US baptist church, who sought to support them with their own counsel. According to the CPS(Crown Prosecution Service) we had sufficient evidence to support prosecution and it was pretty watertight. Simon's contacts in the US observed lots of new activity and some of it was quite febrile in reaction to what we were doing here. When people panic mistakes are made, we got a lead on the name behind the money, one Hiram B. Alpenstock, an American millionaire several times over, an industrialist and a paid up Republican supporter.

By surreptitious means we got someone undercover into his organisation. It took some weeks but eventually, dear old Hiram, whose daughter was a closeted gay woman and the cause of his involvement, thought he was suppressing gay and trans behaviour in both the US and UK. He went with the line that it was all unnatural and against the bible. Now we couldn't prosecute pigs like him in the States because many states have proscribed things like abortion, women's rights and trans rights. It's a sign of the regression in civilisation in that once noble country and my concern was that the UK was becoming equally intolerant of minorities, including race and sexual ones, it was one of the things that set off the recent riots here, racist thugs who were far-right in their outlooks, but who scream blue murder if they are called out on it. It seems beating up someone of colour for no reason other than the colour of their skin, is not being racist. The stupidity is breathtaking and as one commenter on the riots mentioned, they are so stupid they tell you they are coming. Isn't that how terrorists act? Frighten you that they are coming. They don't need to do anything afterwards, the disruption they have caused is their goal.

I suppose we had done something similar, once we had names, we told them we were coming and the consequences were serious, however, one vital difference was that we were acting in compliance with the laws of the land, the opposition were not. Meanwhile, I discovered two of my researchers were involved in the recent anti-trans campaign. I sent them letters saying that as they had wilfully broken several university council rules and possibly some government legislation, including hate crimes, which carry heavier consequences, they were being suspended and their research funding was being suspended immediately with ongoing discussions with the funders to see if it was completely cancelled. The funders were the National Environmental Research Council, an august body of some standing. It led to new tears and questions of appeal. As a university, we have to allow appeals when we take actions against students. I just let it be known that Jason was prosecuting the suspensions. That would mean some waves amongst defence counsel, Jason was practically unbeaten.

Trish phoned when I'd got home and I told her of developments. She had flown straight to Cambridge as she wanted to sort out her accommodation before she started. Apparently, Henry had a property not far from the college and she was going to be using that. It was house she would be sharing with one or two other girls but would be paying minimal rents. She would act as landlady, and she would rent to the others as primary lessee. It all seemed complicated to me, but she said accommodation was in such short supply, she would have no bother finding tenants. I was a little worried that she'd be younger than her tenants but she told me to relax as her visit to Switzerland had helped her mature quite a bit. I wasn't convinced and she was evasive about when she was coming home for me to see her and to collect some of her stuff. Still Trish seemed to have an unshakeable self-belief, I just hoped it was warranted. Yes she was clever, but I could still run rings around her because of her lack of experience.

Danni returned home just after Trish phoned, she was sad that she missed her sister's call but not enough to call her back. She'd scored a goal and was two hundred and fifty pounds richer, apparently. They drew with Reading, I was also reminded that this was a friendly. I explained how things had gone at uni and said that we were winning and playing it by the book. She said you may be playing by the rules but that didn't preclude the others from not doing so. I told her that we had suspension orders on four of our students so we playing it tough as well.

"I don't like it, Mum, it's still too uncertain, they are unpredictable and they break the law with impunity."

The phone rang as I was thinking about what she had said. Danni answered it and said," Hi Trish." followed by a pause as she listened to the call. "Oh my god, they've got Trish."

"What do you mean? I only spoke to her a few minutes ago."

"As I said, Mum, Trish has been abducted, she just said do what they want you to. Then another voice said, 'We have your sister, do as we say and nothing will happen to her.' Then they rang off."

I rang James, then I rang Simon, then I rang the police, who messed me about until I spoke to Toby, he arrived ten minutes later. I brought him up to date and Danni repeated what Trish had said to her.

Toby said that this wasn't like the usual games that these protesters played, abduction is very serious with serious consequences for those involved, like ten years plus serious. I told him that if they hurt her, they could have short life expectancies.

"Don't do anything you'll regret, Cathy, remember your other kids who still need you."

"It may be Simon you need to talk to."

"Why?"

"He's currently involved in destroying an American business man who is funding all these bigots."

"I don't have the fine detail but last I heard he was embarrassing the bloke and it was losing him money. Simon has also pulled some strings to call in loans and destabilise him financially."

"That doesn't sound like the Simon I know," Toby responded.

"If anyone hurts any of his children, he will totally destroy them."

"That sounds like violence, Cathy."

"You can destroy people by reducing their credit rating to zero, by all sorts of financial means, it destroys their reputations and that means no one will go near them, especially in the States where money is god. They may be all religious nuts, but they are even more serious about money."

"What's to stop this American guy coming over here and shooting Simon?"

"Simon will have bankrupted him by the time he finds out and then we just get the government to stop him entering the country."

"Like that's going to work. If terrorists come and go willy-nilly, what chance have we of stopping one pissed-off American?"

I had no answer, because I hadn't thought that far about it, What Simon does, he doesn't ask my consent to it. The fact that he had agents in the country being used to bringing an American millionaire down, possibly precluded any further action by either of them. I also hadn't thought that he could hire a hit man to do a proxy job or that Simon could do the same, except he didn't operate that way. If anything happens to Trish, it will be a whole new ball game and the rules of engagement are still being written.

"So this Hiram B Alpenstock, is financing them."

"As far as we know. What is ironic is that he's all for misogynistic laws that cramp the style of women, yet he has a daughter who would suffering as a consequence, though she's unlikely to require an abortion because she's gay. He doesn't know that but she's a closet TERF. And he's against unnatural people, trying to persecute transwomen and gay people, including lesbians."

"He's unaware of the irony?"

"I think just unaware generally, He's Republican who are not real people anyway, they come from the planet Zog."

"Now who's being unrealistic, Cathy."

"Sorry, I'm just frightened for Trish."

"Hey, we'll get her back, that's a promise."

"Much as I want to believe you, Toby, I want her back unharmed. Who knows what this will do to her?"

He just shrugged.

Comments and kudos are the only reward to writers here, please use them.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3449 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~

I was anxious for Trish and for the moment I had done all I could. Toby was insistent that the police would handle it best, perhaps they would, after all they have the most resources. They had notified the police in Cambridge from where she was abducted and a forensic team had been dispatched to find what they could. In that respect the police were probably the best, assuming the service hadn't suffered too many cuts. The Tories had destroyed the public services and on those grounds alone should never be allowed into government again.

James reported to me from Cambridge as well. It so happened he knew a senior policeman there and he was satisfied that they were doing all they could. Leaving my other children to the care of David and Emily, Danni and I drove to Cambridge to Henry's house. I was met by a senior copper. Apparently, James had told them we were an important family and could create loads of trouble if things weren't right, so we received red carpet treatment. I discussed the state of play and the circumstances leading up to Trish's abduction. I accepted that they could be coincidental and the abduction could have been committed by an unrelated group for other reasons. In one of my more quiet moments I had considered that and my reaction was just as aggressive. If they harmed her and Simon didn't kill them, I would and I wanted it known that I would pursue them to hell and back if necessary. I would make Putin seem like an amateur in seeking revenge. I know I wasn't preaching much about love and fellowship, but to the abductors I felt anything but and wanted them convicted and jailed for a long time and then killed.

I genuinely respect those who can forgive others for killing their children, I wasn't one of them and I honestly didn't see my mood changing much. If I found out that the perps of this crime were TERFs, I would destroy them as a group and then individually if they were involved. I was building up a head of steam towards destroying whatever stood in my way, I was really so worried and angry about it.

Danni and I stayed in a hotel, leaving the police room to properly inspect the room, liaising with James as necessary. He was staying in the same hotel. I checked with him and he admitted he was carrying a concealed weapon, in his case a gun and in my case very sharp knife which was taped to my leg. It was one I'd bought years ago when we were trying to deal with Russian mafia types, and I'd also learned how to throw it. At that time I reckoned I could impale someone from about twenty feet. These days I was out of practice but I thought certainly at ten feet I could be very dangerous, perhaps even lethal. As it was strapped to my leg, in a thin sheath, I had to remember not to leave it behind if I did use it because I would have collected quite a bit of DNA which could be used against me were I prosecuted.

The next morning after breakfast, I wasn't hungry but ate to have something to do, plus if things happened it might be quite quickly and eating would not be a priority if they did. The police were very helpful and told us lots they wouldn't normally. They did advise me not to take the law into my own hands while at the same time appreciating my standpoint.

I managed to get an interview with the master of the college that has accepted Trish. They were equally shocked as was I, and shock number two, the master turned out to be a mistress. The title she explained was a tradition but she joked she was all woman. I actually believed her not that it was important. "I hear that you are an academic yourself?"

As I had given my card, a university one, it wasn't much of a deduction as I was named as, 'Professor, (the Lady Cameron) Catherine Watts PhD, MSc, BSc, Biologist/Ecologist.' "I am," I said, suppressing the urge to suggest she had actually read my card. "Though not of anything like a Cambridge college, just lowly Portsmouth Uni."

"Come now, your reputation precedes you, you've published over twenty papers, made two documentary films, written a couple of books apart from your crime-fighting activities, radio and television appearances and crusading for biodiversity. I would say you are probably better known than half my colleagues at this august institution and myself of course. You are also married to Simon Cameron the banker and son of Henry who has endowed universities at both Oxford and Cambridge.

"So Lady Cameron, how can this humble academic help you?"

"You have heard my daughter, Trish has been abducted?"

"Officially no, but the grapevine has been busy and with social media it is lightning quick. I'm sorry to hear of your trouble, especially as it affects one of my future students, so what can I do?"

"We have had problems with TERFs at Sussex and also Portsmouth. I thinking that this could be related, do you have much of a problem here?"

"Gosh, that's quite an assumption."

"I took a student last year to help diffuse the situation at Sussex; Professor Herbert is a friend of mine. The student is well connected family-wise but is also transgendered. We have had several bouts of problem with TERFs from Sussex who seemed to have stirred up the Portsmouth contingent, which until recently, I didn't even know existed. Investigations have shown they are funded by a mysterious Baptist church in the US, in Texas."

"Didn't a professor resign from Sussex a couple of years ago because of this?"

"She was being very anti-trans and she was forced out, but to my mind she was being a total bigot as many of these women are."

"And your history of previously being a transwoman yourself doesn't affect your situation?"

"Ah, you are well informed."

"Yes, I have an excellent pa."

"Good, I do as well, we all need someone to run our departments day to day."

"You have similar opinions to me, yes we do."

"As my daughter was abducted from Cambridge, from a house that Henry is letting her use, I need to try and elicit if you have enough of a TERF presence here to do such a thing."

"My dear Professor, this is Cambridge with thousand of female students who would be described as feminists, but none that I am aware of any being the bigoted activists you are seeking. They demonstrate if any sex crimes happen, they talk in loud voices against the predatory behaviour of some men, but as far as I know, they don't preach against transwomen. We, as I'm sure you also do, have strict rules about acceptance regardless of race, creed, sexual orientation and so on and that also includes transgender students or staff, however far along the road they are. We are against any form of bigotry such as misgendering and act accordingly. I'm sure you understand."

"Yes I do, but I wonder if I could speak with some of your lesbian students or staff in case they have heard rumblings or seen stuff on social media."

"I suspect the police have already been there."

"With due respect to the police, much of the time they couldn't find beer in a brewery."

She roared with laughter, that's the politest form of that description I've heard so far, you really are a lady aren't you, Lady Cameron?"

"I try to conduct myself gracefully."

"So I see, mind you if it were my daughter I think I might be more angry about it."

"I can assure you that I am having difficulty controlling the urge to rip someone's head off, but I have to allow the police to conduct their enquiries before I do anything."

"I take my hat off to you as a mother and academic," She pushed a button and called her p.a. in, a woman called Rachel Pervis. "Rachel, this is as you know is Lady Cathy Cameron, she wants to talk discreetly to Michelle O'Sullivan, could you arrange that asap?"

"I'll see what I can do, professor," she nodded at me," Professor Watts," and left the office. A second young woman knocked on her door and entered with a tray of biscuits and fresh brewed coffee which she laid on the professor's desk.

Professor Burgess asked me if I drank coffee and I nodded, she then poured out two cups handing one to me and taking one herself. It was the richest coffee I'd tasted for ages especially compared to what Tom usually drank. She told me it was her one indulgence and it was quite an expensive one. I could believe her.

We discussed what I had found out about the abduction and what it might mean. Just as we were finishing her intercom buzzed and in walked a young woman wearing a sweatshirt and shorts. "You wanted to see me, prof?"

"Yes, Michelle, this is Professor Watts, her daughter has been abducted and she would like to talk with you, if that's okay?"

"I'd heard something on the grapevine, isn't she something of a protégé?"

"Yes," I answered, "She's only sixteen but already has one PhD, she's here to do a second under Professor Burgess." The young woman nodded.

"How can I help I don't think I've even met her."

"Look this is embarrassing, but I need to ask someone like yourself a few rather personal questions. I'm not trying to embarrass you or criticise you or your lifestyle, but I need to ask you, I hope you'll bear with me."

The girl blushed but she was still here and she nodded at me. "I'm a professor at Portsmouth, and I have links with Sussex Uni and with my oppo there, Esmond Herbert. Now a while ago one of his students was targeted by some TERFs. She's transgendered and because I'd dealt with trans students before Esmond asked if I could help. I met the young woman and interviewed her and offered her a place to do an MSc. The next thing we had problems with TERFs at Portsmouth who were doing some pretty stupid things including assaulting me and two police officers. They threatened all sorts of things including at me personally. Now we have never had a problem with gay students or trans ones, in fact, our constitution protects all sorts of minority groups including sexual and gender ones. I discovered some of my students were involved and having pointed out before they acted that they were in breach of the contract they had signed with the university to uphold the constitution, they would have done so upon entry induction.

"I wrote to the students concerned suspending them for their behaviour and we are dealing with their appeals at present. Until recently, we have never had a problem like this and I thought everyone, if not happy, was at least upholding the constitution. So this came as a surprise and investigations found they were being funded by a far right Baptist church in America. I believe this could have occurred because of my actions to calm things down. I have to say personally, I have nothing against anyone's lifestyle or preferences provided other people aren't upset by it and I don't mean Daily Express readers. Have you heard anything that may lead to us recovering my daughter, in one piece as quickly as we can?"

"Wow, look I'm a lesbian and I'm a feminist but I have nothing against transwomen and I've known a couple since I've been at Cambridge. I try to treat everyone as they ask me to and as they treat me."

"I'm sure you do, most transwomen are feminists too."

"Yeah, some more than others but the enemy are predatory males not the nonsense Rowling and her ilk spout." I smiled and nodded at her. "I can't say anything definite but the grapevine had been rumbling about you and that you were a tranny lover and needed to be punished, by whom I don't know. Look, let me make some enquiries and see what I can find. That's all I can do but I hope you get your daughter back unharmed."

"Thank you, Michelle, that's all I'm asking." She nodded at me and left. I left Professor Burgess a few minutes later and returned to my hotel to see what James had discovered.

Comments and kudos are the only reward to writers here, please use them.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3450 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~
James was out when I returned to the hotel and I met with Danni who'd been using the free wi-fi and her laptop. We'd bought all of them laptops at different times as well as iPads or other tablets, which Danni had had updated, at least twice to my knowledge, so it was actually a better machine than I used most days. We had taught them how to research subjects online, and as student of my university, she had been taught a little more than the basics and was putting it to good use.

"Michelle O'Sullivan is the one you need to talk too. She's the president or equivalent to the lesbian group here."

"I've already spoken to Michelle, a nice girl and she has agreed to be our ears at the university. Of course she protests about the possibility than any of her members could be involved and I didn't ask her to prove it."

"Hey Mum, you're slipping aren't you? Being polite doesn't normally restrain you from going for the jugular."

"Maybe age has enlightened me because if I had gone in with guns blazing I doubt she would have given me more than a knee-jerk dismissal. I didn't, I treated her as an equal and explained my predicament all the time respecting her lifestyle and choices. She agreed to make enquiries for us and to get back to me. Having her as an ally is wiser than as an enemy. She might not be able to help us find Trish, but I suspect she could hinder anything we may try."

"Gosh, I didn't realise you had such skills," Danni smirked as she spoke and I went to slap her on the head when the door was knocked. She already stepped away from my ill-targeted attack and as she was nearer the door, opened it.

James walked in carrying an iPad and file of papers, "Did you miss me?" he asked with his customary irreverence and cheek.

"I wasn't trying to hit you or you might not be here now," I replied and he showed a little surprise, it wasn't the reply he'd been anticipating.

"Glad to hear it," he said more solemnly, "The police haven't got anything evidence-wise from the room they snatched her from.. Nobody heard anything nor saw anything. She just seemed to vanish like one of these magic tricks they do at conjuring shows."

"I don't think that's possible, no one could pull off an abduction without leaving some evidence behind, it's just too subtle for the police to find."

"It's possible," admitted James, "So you're gonna go round there and spot it in a jiffy are you?"

"You're confusing me with Trish who does such things, pity we can't consult her to find herself."

"I'm sure she would," added Danni.

"I'm not so sure, I've been looking for myself a lot longer than she has and I don't think I've reached a conclusion yet."

"Right, I have to go and follow up a lead and speak to an informant, see you later," and with that, James was gone.

"He didn't just go to avoid buying me lunch, did he?" asked Danni.

"No, because if he had, he'd have charged it to expenses."

"No wonder he can afford to run a Porsche," Danny expounded and then collapsed on the sofa. "Have you asked the goddess?"

"Not yet, there's nothing to stop you asking her for help."

"I don't have this new-found wisdom that you appear to have, not to mention she frightens the brown stuff outta me."

"She is a goddess and provided you treat her with respect and a degree of humility, she will treat you the same."

"So how come she talks to you?"

"Class always shows," if you can't beat 'em, baffle 'em.

Danni collapsed onto a sofa and cried to herself with laughter. Next time she needs hitting, it'll take more than James entering to save her, bloody children.

Things got back to normal and Danni showed me what she learned from the net. It appears that things were happening on the website of the Baptist church where cryptic postings were appearing which made no obvious sense to us but presumably did to its members. Now was that just in the US or did it include the UK? Danni looked at me and said," Well you're the crossword buff, what's it mean?"

"I don't think that solving the Guardian crossword means you're qualified to break codes."

"Oh Sarah phoned while you were out, she said that everything was okay at home and that no one had contacted them, as in ransom demand."

"I'll ring her later if I get a chance."

"Is it worth asking the goddess?"

"Didn't you," I asked.

"Not exactly," she replied.

"Which means?"

"No, I didn't. Meaning I never know how to address her or call her up and she frightens me."

"She not half as frightening as humans who it seems can plumb greater depths of evil almost by the day."

"I s'pose not," answered a very small voice.

"Let's look at what kidnappers would profit from abducting Trish."

"Making you do something you wouldn't normally do, like revealing where Laura is."

"But I don't know where Laura is."

"But they don't know that, do they?"

"I don't know, if it was the case wouldn't they be in touch making demands by now?"

"Perhaps they're just trying to make us sweat?"

"Maybe, let's go see what sort of gym this hotel has," I suggested, deciding to do some sweating and see if exercise might jog something or prompt the kidnappers to communicate with us.

We were an hour playing with various equipment, static bikes and weights, a rowing machine and a swimming pool. We tried the lot, including a punchbag which one of my kicks broke the rope securing it. I was apologetic but the gym manager was okay about saying, "You really meant one or two of those, didn't you?"

"I probably did," I replied.

"Golly Mum, relax okay?" suggested Danni as I went back to our suite for a shower. I then went and sat on my bed and having got rid of my stress to an extent, I tried to home in on Trish.

This usually was like a form of meditation where I held her image in my mind and sent out my thoughts for her to try and contact me. For a while all I knew was that she was alive. I usually feel a sort of blackness or void if the person I'm trying to find is no longer alive. I tried to relax and let myself go deeper. I knew she would be trying to contact me and know that I would be searching for her. She felt quite close, she was still in Cambridge, of that I was sure, well it was an intuition of sorts, sort of knowing by instinct, although that is rather basic compared to intuition. I tried to explain to myself and they both seemed the same - knowing something just by being, it was all a bit woolly but it seemed to work.

I'd established to myself that she was alive, I then tried to decide in which direction she was being held. It was north. I estimated from the strength of her response that she was within 5 miles north of where I was. Having done all this, I then slipped into a short but refreshing sleep where images of Trish and the goddess seemed to swirl in my mind like a kaleidoscope, but nothing seemed to gel.

I woke when James returned, he told me that while the police had plenty of manpower assigned to our case, they had no new leads, suggesting either that Trish had been taken by aliens or had set it up herself. They had nothing at all. James' enquiries had thrown up one or two new leads but they had been dead ends and the only positive thing was my certainty that she was still alive.

Simon phoned and we spoke for a quarter of an hour. He was tied up with things in America, in particular the Baptist Church of Texas, where he was destroying bits each day, but trying to keep his identity hidden and acting through an agent. The FBI were involved as they had umpteen complaints about the church and the money behind it and they were sympathetic to our search for Trish.

I called for a detailed map of the area and Danni called up one on her laptop, I looked at it for a few minutes then shut my eyes trying to call her to show me where she was. After a few minutes I pointed to a place on the map. "That's where she is," I said and we looked at where I had pointed, the village of Girton about four kilometres away depending upon how you went there, it's also the site of Girton College.

James looked at me, "You know Girton was one the first colleges to admit women, don't you."

"Yes, with Somerville."

"So it's likely to have lesbians," he added.

"It's been coed for fifty or more years but I admit I believe it has a strong feminist community."

"So what do we do now?" he asked. I didn't know, I'd hoped that Michelle could find something more concrete so I was dragging my feet with regards to action.

Danni asked, " Why aren't we heading for girldom?"

"It's Girton not girldom," I told her quite sharply.

"I think my name's better," she smirked and James grinned at her.

"I don't think you realise how difficult it was for women to be admitted to the college and to be allowed to get degrees."

"I've read, A Room of One's Own," added Danni referring to Virginia Woolf's book. I nearly added, that I had read quite a few more than that including 'Orlando', which is a strange tale of the hero becoming the heroine at times.

While we were sitting about and Danni was looking up stuff on the internet about Girton College the phone rang, I answered and told reception to send up the person who had spoken to the desk. Within five minutes Michelle O'Sullivan was entering our suite and I hoped had news for us. I suddenly thought that she must have or why would she come to see me? But then people do strange things at times, especially it seems when I am around.

"Ah, Lady Cameron, I've been pursuing your request and it seems there is a rather radical chapter of the feminist movement at..."

"Girton," I supplied.

She looked taken aback, "If you knew that why did you ask me?"

"Thank you for your help, Michelle, we only just found out about the Girton connection, I'm sure you have more concrete information for us, oh, this is James and my daughter Danielle."

"Are you the one who played for England?" she asked my daughter who shrugged and nodded.

"My hero, well heroine," she said, "I play for my college, could I have your autograph?" So while Danni went off to find a photo that she could sign, Michelle told us about what she had discovered about the Girton connection. "When I asked, everyone went schtumm and got rather twitchy, so I pushed a bit harder and it seems that the Girton mob are very exclusionary, one trans woman was made so uncomfortable that she changed colleges, went to Somerville instead. There have also been one or two complaints to the lesbian alliance concerning Girton and its unfriendly reception to strangers. I mean lots of these girls are only just coming out of the closet and they need support not interrogation by some hard-nosed dyke."

Her expression made me start slightly, as I'd always thought it a term of abuse, but I suppose that if used by a lesbian, then it wouldn't have the same offensive quality than if used by a non-lesbian or a man. I suppose a man would be considered a non lesbian automatically, but that was how my mind was working. Michelle also said that as president of the lesbian alliance she wanted to be involved in our investigation. James wasn't sure as she could be a double agent. I could see his point but she felt sincere to me and Prof Burgess had confidence in her to help if she could. I agreed and we adjourned to an early dinner or late lunch and I remembered I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast. We were going into action on full tummies so off to the dining room we went.

Comments and kudos are the only reward to writers here, please use them.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3451 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~

The hotel restaurant was good but expensive, or it was to me getting caught for four meals, perhaps buying the help of Michelle as an entry to the Girton set. James opted for steak as did Danni, Michelle had smoked salmon and I had lemon sole. It was tasty and one of my favourite fish. My dad used to call it expensive plaice, probably to stop my mum and me from selecting it if we went out to eat, which wasn't very often. I remember that until my dad became established as a quantity surveyor, my mum had to help the budget just a little by doing some part time work in the office of a dress shop. She had discount of the stock there and bought one or two nice things my father didn't know about. To keep my silence, she actually bought me a skirt and top, which I had when I went off to uni. It was about the nicest outfit I had in those days until I had an accident with a printer cartridge. It was a very expensive accident because it cost me a dry cleaning fee for the skirt and also a new cartridge. Of course, it had to be the black one which exploded all over my bottom half, or I'd have been trying to wash it out of my top as well.

I've already said the lemon sole was nice, except for the bones, the little ones which remain even if it's been filleted, and the new potato salad we had with the fish was very attractively displayed as well as being delicious. I asked for coleslaw as well which I always enjoy, but I was surprised that they had charged me several pounds for it, amazing how expensive raw cabbage can be.

Once we'd finished eating and relaxed over coffees, Michelle told us what she knew about the Girton mob, which wasn't very much. "Girton lesbian group is rather exclusionary."

"If they're TERFs they would be by definition, that's what the 'E' stands for, which means the 'F' is wrong."

"Why, " asked Danni.

"Because it means feminist, and in my book feminists are inclusive, we want everyone to be equal. You can't be exclusive if you believe that."

"But that means men as well, even though most of them have lots of advantages over us women already."

"I agree the paternalist system does protect the advantages of males, which doesn't make it right, but we're never going to change it unless we profess all people are equal, including men."

"Aren't you being too accommodating?" asked Michelle, "I believe all men are bastards."

"Isn't that just a generalisation?" asked James blushing as he spoke.

"Not in my experience," she retorted.

"People let's not fight among ourselves, we need a unified front to deal with this problem. I think we can agree that we have all suffered to a degree under the paternalist system. My school life was very difficult."

"Yeah, okay, mine wasn't that good either," said James and Michelle's eyes widened.

"You had problems?" she asked genuinely.

"I'm gay, alright!" he said firmly but quietly.

"I'd never have guessed," said Michelle gently.

"Look we all know that anyone who is the slightest bit different suffers because of the system, just be thankful you don't live in the States, it's even worse there." We all agreed that was the case and it led to our quest today, thanks to a very extremist view of Christianity and societal behaviour in Texas, which was one of several such establishments in America, none of which met my understanding of church or chapel, especially as applied to the mainstream. Except the Church of England was still tying itself up over trying to avoid becoming too liberal and losing those who believed in biblical interpretations of faith, behaviour and social control. It reminded me to some extent of the Taliban, who I hoped had a special place reserved in Hell, where they would be under the control of female demons, but just for eternity.

Michelle told us the Girton lesbian group was led by Estelle Carter, an American who took over about a year ago when the previous leader had graduated and left. "I've only met her once and she sort of tried to avoid me. Theoretically, they should have joined the university group, but they have avoided it so far. Because they are rather isolated here I have concentrated on the other colleges, most of whom are okay."

So what's new I thought, nothing I do is by the short route, so it's par for the course.

"How did you discover it may be Girton that's involved?" Michelle interrupted my daydream.

"She just knows things," said Danni.

"Intuition, which is why I welcomed your information, it backed me up quite well."

"Female intuition, given your origins, that's quite a step."

"I've always had it, even when I was supposedly living as a boy. It has served me well particularly so in recent years."

"No testosterone to constrain it," smirked Michelle.

Danni jumped in before I could speak, " She AIS so testosterone doesn't do anything to her."

"What's that?" asked Michelle.

"Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome, which means my body doesn't react to testosterone, so I didn't have a male puberty."

"That's why you look so naturally female, like ordinary women, like us eh Danni?"

James snorted and Danni blushed, "What's that about?" Michelle looked up suddenly with a suspicious look at James.

"Danni didn't have a male puberty courtesy of a so-called friend and his unusual scalpel skill."

"I don't understand," said Michelle.

"It's long story but briefly, Danielle and her friend Peter were sexually assaulted on a school trip when they went to a gents toilet. It was in France and Peter said something loud enough for a Frenchman to hear. He and a friend assaulted the two boys and it had a very strong reaction on Peter who subsequently castrated himself, cutting off his genitals completely. He nearly bled to death.

"I urged Danni to stay a friend because it got out at school and they were victimised. For some reason, Peter began calling himself Pia and dressing as a girl, albeit badly which is surprising because he has a sister who you would think would help him. Apparently not, and Danni who was still living as a boy, tried to help him and while at Pia's house dressed as a girl and used makeup. We have a house full of females, most younger than Danni but they helped with tips about makeup and so on.

"One Sunday Danni went over there and they dressed as girls, then Pia had acquired some chloroform and anaesthetised Danni and dissected out his genitals so that the surgeons were only able to create a vagina and labia. She was dressed as girl and they had to move quickly as she had nearly died from blood loss, none of us had a chance to say anything it all happened so quickly. When she recovered she decided to live as female and I sent her to the same school as her sisters."

"I am here," exclaimed Danni blushing furiously.

"So what happened to your friend?" Michelle asked Danni.

"She was arrested and sent to a special secure unit. It was so unusual they didn't know what to do with her. She's out now and we don't see her very often, I've forgiven her but I'm not sure I'll ever forget the experience," Danni answered the question, still blushing furiously.

"But you played for England?"

"I qualified because I didn't have male puberty, boys and girls' bodies are very similar until puberty causes the male body to differentiate, I don't regret it and it did mean I got an England cap, but because it's a political hot potato they just forgot me. I probably won't play for them again which pisses off my coach at Bournemouth who thinks they should call me up again."

"Yeah, you're one of the best players they had."

"I can't comment on that obviously, but I think I may be better than some of those they did pick, I get some satisfaction when we play agianst some of them and show them what they're missing, We beat Chelsea by five goals and they have a teamful of England players."

"How many did you score?"

"Three and made the other two," She smirked and blushed at the same time, see, since become female she can multitask.

"I've seen you play and I envy your football skills, like I said before, you are my hero and I still feel that even after what I've heard today."

"Yes, Danni is a bit different having had femaleness thrust upon her, but she has coped admirably," I patted her on the shoulder and she blushed some more.

"Please don't tell anyone, it's so difficult to explain," Danni asked Michelle realising that her transition could arise again and embarrass her.

"Oh, don't worry, now I've met you and talked about things, you're just a normal girl to me, one who is probably the most gifted woman footballer I've ever seen. So I won't tell a soul."

"Thank you, Michelle, well now that's out of the way let's see if we can recover my other daughter from Girton." After a quick trip to the ladies to powder noses etc., we departed in two cars, Jim's Porsche and my Jag. Danni went with Jim and they roared off and then had to wait for us at the main campus for Girton College.

Michelle and I walked on into the building and I followed her lead. She showed her student ID and I flashed my Portsmouth one, "This lady's doing some research and want's to talk with the lesbian group, are they in the usual place?"

The receptionist nodded and again I followed Michelle. I noticed that James and Danni were quite a way behind us and they were deliberately so in case any of them tried to leave early.

Michelle knocked on a door as she entered, I followed readying myself for action and that's when it kicked off.

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The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3452 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~

"Hi everyone," said Michelle, this is professor Watts who'd like to speak to you about the abduction of her daughter."

"Why should we be able to help her?"

"Well, it so happens that we have been under assault from a group of TERFs from Sussex who are funded by a radical baptist church in Texas and an American millionaire who also happens to be rightwing Republican and who believes that anyone who isn't a White Anglo- Saxon male should be annihilated, which means all of us here. The joke is, that in keeping with the norm for Republicans, he isn't too bright and he's funding a campaign which has been hijacked by lesbian groups who he detests but doesn't know his only daughter is gay.

"Now I'm not against gay women or men, what floats your boat is your business alone and shouldn't be decided by politicians or governments or the bible, however, investigations have led us to you after the abduction of my daughter from her house in Cambridge, now I'd like her back and I shall do what I can to mitigate charges against you. If I don't get her back PDQ, I'm going to be less friendly and if I have to destroy all of you to do it, I shall. I shall give you the option."

"What gives you the right to walk in here and start accusing us, " asked the American Estelle.

"My researches, we have evidence which implicates you, now you can deal with me or the police, which I will call in a few moments unless Trish is released now."

Someone jumped on my back trying to snatch my phone - bad mistake, I don't like it and tend to react violently. I spun quickly and flung her into a wall after she hit Estelle who also went down. Another woman rushed at me adopting a martial arts stance, I don't think she had more than an introductory instruction because I did a flying kick and she dropped like a stone squealing.

"Now, we can call a truce and you hand over my daughter or I shall beat the shit out of each and every one of you. Running away won't help, I have friends outside who are equally violent when attacked."

"She's not here," said another girl cringing in front of me.

"Where is she? my patience is running out, so make it quick." I demanded trying to be as intimidating as I could. I went to grab her and she shouted, "Alright," at me.

Estelle picked herself up and picked up her phone, "Bring the Cameron girl to the common room," whoever she spoke to argued and she repeated the instruction.

"I could always go and get her," I threatened.

"No, it's okay, they're bringing her over." Estelle took a step back from me and I watched to see if anyone tried to escape or attack me. I think the demonstration I gave of meaning business gave a strong influence to the women who had tried it on. They were still counting their teeth and groaning on the floor. I had allowed them to start it before I let go all the anger and stress I'd built up over the last few days. No one takes my children without consequences, they were lucky I didn't kill them.

"Where is she?" I growled at them, "or do I have to start making examples of you? You may be at Cambridge but you don't seem too clever." A girl worked her way to the door and out, straight into Danni's arms. She threw her straight back inside shouting, "Where is my sister you bastards?"

Ten minutes later two girls brought in Trish who looked extremely pissed off. She demanded her iPhone returned, a girls said they'd lost it, so Trish exploded into a tantrum which left several more women on the floor, shouting, "You'd better find it or get me another."

"Are you always so violent?" asked Michelle over the sobs and cries of the women.

"Only when my family is in danger, if I'd had to kill them all to get her back, then I would have. The police have been called, we are now leaving, those who are clever enough to plead guilty will have fewer charges brought against them. Those who try to plead ignorant or challenge the charges could end up in prison and destroyed financially. I am not taking prisoners. I want chapter and verse about the group's involvement with the Texas church. I am going to destroy that anyway, my husband is doing the same to the guy who is funding it. If they find out that he knows about their lawbreaking, he's going down, plus we'll make sure he knows about his daughter. If he masterminded the abduction, he won't come out in his lifetime."

"Wow, you are vicious." Michelle offered.

"They took one of my kids, I didn't know how well they treated her. They could have killed her, in which case they'd all be dead now."

"You don't mess about, do you?"

"Would you?"

"I suppose not." Flashing blue lights filled the grounds as a dozen or so young women were escorted away after being cautioned.

"Did you have to get violent?" the chief inspector asked me.

"They attacked her first," said Michelle, "She just responded."

"If they cooperate and name the people and church in Texas, I may ask for leniency. If they play hard to get, throw they key away, I'll go for maximum punishment."

"Given that abduction is a major crime if they are convicted they won't be breathing fresh air for seven to ten years."

We all left to return to the hotel, Michelle went with James in his Porsche, Trish and I hugged all the way as Danni drove my car.

She was questioned by police and answered as honestly as she could, when asked why she didn't seem very perturbed by her experience she said, "I knew my mum would find me and get me out, I just had to keep calm and stop my captors hurting me. I could have taken them out but didn't know how many were outside or were involved. So I thought it best to let Mum find me, I sent her the blue light and felt hers in return, so I knew she was coming."

We had to talk our way out of that and I dismissed it as psychic link we all seemed to have, the women anyway. Why was I so relaxed, I knew she was okay and it gave us time to amass evidence. I was going for wipe out, no one messes with my girls.

I managed to avoid charges for assault because Michelle told the police that the violence only started when I tried to call the police. I claimed I was asserting my right to defend myself, I also suggested that I had constrained my response, no one had any broken bones, if it had continued most of them would as I fight with the aim of preventing opponents getting up and attacking me again. If they go down, they stay there. It minimises risk to me and that is the priority. I had weighed up the odds and although they could have taken me if they were coordinated and attacked together but that was never going to happen, I was pretty ready to fight my corner however they wanted to do it. The initial attack almost caught me by surprise but my response meant that another attacker would pause. My subsequent reply to the second attack was possibly over the top, but it showed I wasn't to be trifled with, even by those who thought they knew some karate or similar. In the heat of battle, street fighting wins most of the time, it's about survival not poncing about with martial arts poses, just hit 'em first and keep your back to the wall. It was a fight not an exhibition dance.

The police were still not convinced that I knew Trish was alive, thinking that i may have been involved as some sort of publicity stunt. However, the detective leading it spoke to James about it. James told him in no uncertain terms that he was only alive because of my ability to find those with whom I have some sort of link, in his case, it was working together and looking after each other, if you remember I found him in that quarry. The copper dismissed it and said he was going to investigate the matter. James told him he was wasting his time, however, he was determined to prove it was at best a hoax at worst a waste of public money.

I was summoned to the office, Danni having taken Trish and Michelle back to the hotel where Trish was soaking in the bath and trying to think when they took her phone. Danni and Michelle were having a cuppa and James a bottle of beer.

"Now Professor, I hope you are going to confess to the fact that this is a hoax."

"No, why should I?" The way this was going this chap was going to on traffic duty if he kept it up.

"Come on, all this psychic nonsense, all this family bonding, she's an adopted child, so how is there a link?"

I suddenly had a vision of his son in a car that was going to crash before the day was out. I suspect the blue light was giving me an example to make him take note. "You need to get your son out of that car it's going to crash."

"Oh yeah, so you've suddenly got a link with my son, have you."

"No, you moron, I linking to him through you. If you don't act fast, I can't predict how hurt he's going to get."

"He's pretty tough, he plays rugger."

"I suspect a ton of metal is tougher." I suggested and he looked to be wavering. "At least call him and get him out of the car." He picked up his mobile and thought about dialling.

"So if I get him out of the car and he's okay, how do I know you're not making it all up."

"Call him for goodness sake, I don't think he's walking away from the collision." I was getting quite anxious and the inspector was still on pause mode. "Jesus, call him you fucking idiot," I shouted at him and hit him with a ball of energy. He was knocked out of his chair and was just about to hit me back when he saw I hadn't moved.

"How did you do that?"

"Call your son, time is critical," I said and hit him with another ball of light.

This time he saw it hit him and he stopped sitting there and dialled his son's phone. "Steve, get out of the car. Look I don't care if it's raining do it. Because you're going to have a fucking accident and you may not survive it. Just do it alright, I'll pay for a taxi home."

"There, I've told him, he doesn't believe me." Just then I had a flash of a car being smashed to pieces by an articulated lorry. He noticed me flinching. "What's happening?"

"The driver didn't make it, I hope your son got out, the car was flattened by a big truck."

"How do you know that?"

"I don't know, I just had a vision of it."

He picked up his office phone and asked if there had been any RTAs reported in the past ten minutes. Just then his mobile rang and his son was hysterical on the other end, he managed to say his friend was dead, the car was badly damaged and he'd be dead if his dad hadn't made him get out of the car.

The inspector ran out to a toilet and was sick, I didn't know whether to stay or just go, he knew where I was. He came back, he was ashen and he shook a little. "I think you'd better go home," I said, I'll still be at my hotel tomorrow if you need to talk."

I left, the blue light had shown him that you don't mess with it. I'm not sure he believed it but that was his problem. My daughter was safe and so was his son. If I hadn't said anything about what I saw, he be in mourning tomorrow. I was glad he listened but I'm not sure it solved anything.

I got a cab back to the hotel and felt a mixture of things, was the driver going to die anyway, if not was it just a display of the energy's power? If so I'm not sure I wanted anything else to do with it, though it seemed you don't walk away from it until it lets you, or so it seems.

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The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3453 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~
By the time I had returned to the hotel, James collected me in his Porsche. I was quite anxious as I didn't know how much the Chief Inspector was going to put in his report. I mean I hit him off his chair with a ball of light twice, and saved his son's life. I was sad the other lad didn't make it, I don't know what happened to the lorry driver. How do I get into these situations? Trish had emerged from the bath and was sitting with Danni and they were talking and eating crisps.

Trish immediately rose and gave me a monster hug, "I knew you would come so I tried to remain upbeat, but I was beginning to wonder," she said tears running down her face. "I kept sending the light and thinking of you, I even asked the goddess for help but she as good as told me I was doing all right."

"We asked her too," I replied, "and she pretty well told us the same. So I just sat quietly and your whereabouts, well roughly came into my consciousness. James did some more traditional research and found something that backed us up, and Michelle told us of the splinter lesbian group which she suspected may have TERF sympathies. She showed us where to go, I stated my case, threatened to call the police and all hell broke loose. They surrendered and produced you when I offered some more violence. So now you know."

We hugged again and then Trish told me she was starving, so we went down to the dining room and ordered a meal. "How come the copper left before you did?" James asked as we were waiting for our meal to be brought.

"I saw his son in a crash and pleaded with him to call his son and tell him to get out of the car. He waited until it was nearly too late, I hit him with ball of light twice to make him realise I wasn't messing. He rang his son and told him to leave the car, I saw the accident in my mind's eye, the car was hit by an articulated lorry, I don't think the driver made it, I don't know about the lorry driver. He rang his son back and the boy was hysterical, he'd witnessed the collision."

"Would it have happened if he hadn't stopped to let the boy out?"

"I don't know but I suspect it would. The blue light doesn't mess about."

"No it doesn't, but did someone have to die?" James asked me the question with which I had been wrestling.

"I don't know, and have been thinking about it. Usually, it does things to save or prolong life, so I suspect the collision was always going to happen. I'm sorry I couldn't save both of them, but I hoped it made my case more strongly."

"More strongly!" James looked at me, "The copper's gone off on sick leave, he was so shaken by all of it."

"So have we to start all over again with someone different?"

"Dunno, but it's likely."

"I have a job from which I'm currently absent, I have to go home and run my department again, I can't spend days up here." I complained that while my girls were so important to me, so was my job and it so happened to be at the beginning of a new term, or nearly.

"I'm sure Diane will be okay," Danni smirked.

"You know something I don't, don't you?" I challenged her.

"She spoke to her earlier and said you'd found me; she said things were hectic but that she was coping, so not to worry." Trish added to the conversation.

"I'll just have to sort out the mess when I get back," I shrugged having full confidence in my PA. But give her an inch and she'll take a few hectares.

"What happens if they don't believe you and go for you knowing something about it?" James asked another difficult question.

"I think I would be able to argue a strong case for it not being a publicity stunt and Trish will verify that." She was nodding vehemently. The meal came and the conversation lapsed as we ate.

"I think I frightened some of them, they thought I was a witch or something," Trish bragged, "It was pitch dark in the room where I was being held and I asked the blue light to keep me company and make things bearable. It illuminated the room for me until I fell asleep, they accused me of having a torch or another mobile phone. That reminds me, they still owe me an iPhone as they said they lost mine."

"You lot get more like the Addams Family every time I meet you," James chuckled.

"Thank you Lurch, that'll be all," I responded and Trish and Danni looked confused.

"A previous manifestation on the telly when we were kids. Lurch was the butler and he was about seven foot tall, the same actor appeared in a Bond film with Roger Moore, when they were less serious for a while.

"Why did they think you were a witch?" asked Danni.

"Well they did a search of the room and demanded where the light had come from, I went all Quantum on them and said, that all light comes from the sun. They demanded to know where it was and I told them that if I wanted light, I could make it shine, so they got all empirical on me and switched off the light and asked me to demonstrate. I just said, 'let there be light' and they all seemed to be on fire. No one was hurt but that freaked them out."

"Not surprised," said Danni, "It would freak me out too an' I know you're a right poseur."

"Glad you're so pleased to see me," was the retort.

"I'm here in I?" How much did we pay at that school? I'm beginning to think we may be due a refund.

"Girls, please," I said firmly and they both shut up.

"So how are you going to handle the police?" James wasn't going to give up.

"I don't know, I suppose I'll respond to what they ask me." It was the best I could think of for the moment, "Besides, your evidence will back me up, won't it and then there's Michelle as well."

"Well, it's like your blue light thing, it's not conclusive and has a few holes. Why not just get Trish to set fire to a few coppers and take it from there, they can't charge you with witchcraft anyway, it was taken off the statute book."

"They'd just call it assault likely to lead to serious injury or something."

"They can't use with a deadly weapon at any rate." He was such a comfort but the witchcraft and fraudulent mediums act was only abolished in the 1950s, it's not a hundred years yet and it was before the decriminalisation of homosexuality which speaks reams about how this country thinks, but then hasn't Trump accused Harris of witchcraft, which shows how disturbed he is and how bizarre America is. At the same time I read something about a film of a road trip with Will Ferrell and Harper Steele where the latter comes out as trans. Ferrell comes out of it as being caring and understanding of his friend after getting over the initial shock, showing that these people still exist in an increasingly polarised post Trump country. How many will still wish to reside there if Trump wins again. Talking of the Orange one, I read he is suing Google because he claims they are unfairly treating his campaign compared to Harris. They say not but it demonstrates that he is well into his dementia, which is rather scary as millions of his followers don't seem to have noticed and do they really want to be stuck with Vance as a president if it worsens? The world grows scarier with Israel out of control and talk of invading Lebanon again which might set Iran off and then wholesale war would result. Mind you as a born-again shithead, the Donald would be a supporter of Israel in such a conflict. Scary doesn't really describe it, it's a brown trousers situation.

The evening went on with all sorts of conversation and the girls noticed I was distracted, when I was contemplating the end of civilisation or possibly the world and nukes flying around the place would do nothing for biodiversity which is suffering all over the world, especially in the UK. We're already coping with wet springs and summers but nuclear winter would be something else. Better start stocking up on tins of tuna. I smiled to myself and Danni noticed. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing, I just ran with a thought and came to a silly conclusion." I then tried to distract her but she wasn't having it and I had to share my thoughts with them.

"How is all this gonna help us with the cops?"

"Well, I reckon if we can obfuscate for a week or so, it won't matter because the end of the world will have happened and the police will all be busy rushing about killing cockroaches and flies."

"Should the emphasis be on killing the enemy first?" asked Trish, which showed a little of her naïvete and why I was concerned about her being on her own and attending Cambridge. She may be megabright but she is still an ingénue and extremely gullible at times, but I know she won't reconsider, which is okay if they keep her locked up in a lab all the time but I worry about when she isn't and associating with people older and more streetwise that she.

By the time my head had returned to the present, the conversation had moved on to something else and I excused myself and went to bed while Danni and Trish were still talking. I think James was still there too but he might have gone to bed.

Had I made up my mind about what I would tell the police? I decided I would try to stay as close to the truth as I could but would take my lead from them. I knew it was going to be difficult but I could do nothing about it until they showed how they were dealing with it and that looked as though they may accuse me of setting up a hoax for publicity purposes. How wrong they could be doesn't bear thinking about. I don't know what time I fell asleep but it wasn't very early and I knew morning would be here before I was ready for it and so would the police. Oh poo.

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The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3454 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~
I was just finishing breakfast when a uniformed police officer approached me and said that I was to attend the police headquarters in Cambridge with my two daughters. We were split up and led to separate interview rooms. You know the type, plain walls, with a table and chairs, neither of which were very clean and also suffering from some incised graffiti which just showed the people who do this damage either are dyslexic or ignorant. I suppose a percentage of the community fits that description and I suspect so does a percentile of police officers, though ignorant describes some of them best.

I looked at the two way mirror on the wall as I waited aware that I was probably being watched the whole time I was there. I was kept for ten minutes before anyone came to see me and I spent the time asking for the goddess to give me the strength to deal with it without implicating myself, my daughters or the goddess/blue energy. When the police deigned to come and introduced themselves, a Superintendent Voice and detective sergeant Bell.

He apologised for keeping me waiting and I said that it was okay, I didn't have anything important to do except run a university department. I saw a hardening in his eyes. "I have just been looking at you record."

"I was told that I don't have a police record," I retorted, if his plan was to upset me he might just succeed.

"Not a criminal record, just interactions with police forces. I see it cost Hampshire Constabulary quite a bit a few years ago."

"That money went to charity."

"It says that, but it also said you're not a cisgendered female."

I blushed, " I haven't claimed to be, so what's the point of raising it."

"So you aren't what you appear to be, neither are your daughters."

"Do you have a problem with that?" I asked.

"Not personally, nor does the force."

"If you read a bit further you will see apart from accusations of being a man I was badly assaulted by the individual concerned, who didn't stop when his companion suggested it and only did so after he had beaten me almost unconscious and a superior officer ordered him to stop. So my experiences at the hands of police forces is not always a happy one."

"But if you lie about your sex, might you also lie about other things like the hoax you perpetrated with your daughters?"

"I hope the tape recorded that because I'm just thinking of which charity will benefit when I sue you, my lawyer will eat you in court for slander."

"I haven't said anything slanderous."

"You have as good as accused me of not being female, though my birth certificate says so and so does my certificate from the Gender Panel. I am legally female and so are my two daughters."

"You also like publicity don't you?"

"I think you'll find you have been misinformed, I actually try to eschew publicity."

"So you make films and take part in radio shows, write articles and appear at save the badger debates. What's all that then if it's not publicity seeking?"

"I speak up when I feel I have to, I made the films to promote dormice and harvest mice, to raise the public's awareness of these beautiful creatures. The badger thing, I was invited when they couldn't seem to get another ecologist to speak against the cull. It is iniquitous and I would go on record again to defend that statement. It is unscientific and a waste of taxpayer's money."

"But you got lots of publicity?"

"I took the place of Dr Brian May, who couldn't make it."

"What the pop singer, what does he know about badgers or other wildlife?"

"He's actually an astrophysicist and if you'd watched his last documentary, quite a lot. He's also a multimillionaire and one of the best lead guitarists in the country if not the world."

"So he lives for publicity too?"

"Actually he keeps his private life pretty private unless he's working or wanting to say something he feels strongly about."

"Yeah, so the likes of him can do what they like?"

"We are all supposed to be equal under the law," I threw at him.

"Yeah, but you privileged and moneyed lot are just more equal than the rest of us, always in the news whether you're on your favourite hobbyhorse or just hungry for publicity. If I say what I think about badger culls or whatever, no one listens to me."

"Write to your MP, it's what I did, haven't you got a copy of my letter? Oh dear, superintendent what else have you missed?" He scowled at me and I felt I had got one back on him, revolting creature he is.

"Back to your hoax, what's this about your daughter setting fire to several young women?"

"How about we start by saying my daughter had been abducted against her will and charges of false imprisonment?"

"We'll get to that, answer me about this accusation of setting fire to people."

"Did anyone have any burns that needed treatment?"

"Well, er no."

"Because it didn't happen. Trish is very clever, she has a bachelor's degree, a master's degree and a doctorate, she's here to research in Physics and Mathematics for another PhD. She is quite capable of making them believe they were on fire."

"I find that hard to believe, and this blue light she produced, what about that?"

"She has an iPhone, it was probably that."

"The girls had confiscated that earlier."

"They obviously made a mistake."

"It says here that they didn't."

"I see, so you can accuse me of lying or being mistaken but not them? We are all equal under the law, remember?"

"And you're threatening to sue me?"

"I don't threaten, especially not policemen, I just make predictions and I spoke to my lawyer earlier, he's on his way."

"I want it on record that I didn't say you weren't a woman or your daughters, I said you weren't cisgendered."

"You have accused me of making a hoax of my daughter's abduction."

"I want to know about this blue light my predecessor wrote about having the power to knock him off his chair and kill his friend in a car smash."

"If you wield this power, we'er looking at murder."

"I also saved his son, you forget that."

"Okay, you saved his boy, how?"

"I sometimes get images in my mind's eye, I can't explain it, but I saw the truck hit the car and it was so vivid, I asked him to get his son out of the car before he got hurt."

"Yet you killed the other boy, what just to show off?"

"You have a rather sick mind, superintendent."

"Comes from dealing with people like you."

"Well, I suppose there must quite a few professors in Cambridge, are they that trying?"

"You know what I mean." His tone was quite hard.

"No I don't, care to share?" I asked winding him up some more.

"You want me to believe you get visions powerful enough to save one boy's life but not both."

"I asked him to tell his son for them both to get out of the car, but it was raining and both were reluctant and it was only his father's pleading that we saved one of them."

"So who decides who lives or dies?"

"I think it's called serendipity."

"And these so called visions aren't another element of your hoax?"

"No, of course not."

"So who controls these visions."

"I don't know, they just happen."

"So you can't control them?"

"No," just then I saw his wife slice into her hand with a knife preparing vegetables. "I think you need to speak to your wife she has just badly cut her hand."

"What, I suppose you think it's funny to provoke me do you?"

"I think she has just collapsed, perhaps you need to send someone round to see her, don't forget the key is under the mat."

"If you're wasting my time I'll get you Lady bloody Cameron bah!" He left the room presumably to call his wife, she was bleeding quite heavily, must have sliced a blood vessel.

"I've arranged to send someone around to check on her."

"May as well call an ambulance, she's not getting up."

"Just shurrup, " he yelled at me." I simply shrugged, the police sergeant looked around the room as if she couldn't believe what was happening.

He paced around the room, obviously waiting for a call from whoever he had sent. I suggested a nice cup of tea and the sergeant got up to make it. He looked angrily at me, "If you've set this up, so help me, I'll get you."

"Some things are beyond your philosophy." I smiled and blasted him off his chair.

"WTF," he exclaimed.

"You don't know what you are dealing with, don't provoke it."

"You jumped up pansy, don't you threaten me."

"It isn't a threat just a warning."

"I don't believe in all that mumbo jumbo."

"Good, neither do I, but even scientists can't explain everything, like this," and I knocked him off his chair again."

"Just do that again, " he stood and went to hit me but shook his hand as if he just hit a brick wall. "How do you do that?"

"I don't know," I smiled back at him.

Just then the sergeant came back with the tea and his phone rang, "On my way," he said followed by, "take over sergeant, better release her for now. Don't leave the area," he threw at me.

"I have a university department to run, I can't just stay here to keep that idiot amused," I said to her as I drank my tea.

"He does get bees in his bonnet if he thinks someone is trying it on."

"But I'm not, I'm just trying to get my family together and safe and deal with the women who abducted my daughter and who disrupted my university, a group of TERFs who want acceptance as radical lesbians but don't want to accept even smaller groups of people. I see it all as a power thing by small-minded individuals, like the anti-trans movement amongst Republicans in the States, how does driving a tiny minority to extinction prove anything except what dick-heads they all are?."

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3455 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~
"The inspector still believes I set up this abduction for a publicity hoax, I saw his wife badly cut her hand and collapse. He was very reluctant to check it out even though I told him she wasn't getting up. Finally, he sent someone around and she ended up in hospital. I also hit him off his chair with the blue light a couple of times, he tried to hit me and the blue light protected me, so he bruised his hand."

"How can the police employ so many morons?" asked Trish, "especially with Cambridge being the 5th best uni in the world."

"Oxford is best, maybe you made a mistake," chuckled Danni.

"It's still far above bloody Portsmouth," was fired back.

"Hey, I'm not trying to run the National Research Council or the Natural History Museum, so it's good enough for me. Remember you accepted three degrees from them not so long ago."

"That's why I'm here now, making good their errors."

"Don't be such a snob, Trish, Grandpa's just as bright as you."

"Yeah but he's getting old and past it."

"I don't think I like that opinion of someone who can still beat you at chess."

"He was lucky."

"I'm willing to bet that he can still do it."

"How much?" she threw at me.

"How about just the principle of the thing?"

"What use is that to me?"

"You can massage that giant ego of yours, but my money would be on Daddy, except I don't bet."

"That's just a cop out, because I'm cleverer than you."

"So why did you need her to rescue you, then brain box?" asked Danni and fired one under her protective ego. Trish blushed a love dark pink colour while she thought of a reply.

"I coulda got away, I already had them thinking I was a witch when they thought they caught fire."

"So why didn't you? Would have saved us some time especially as Mum is preparing for a new intake."

"I'd a had difficulty in escaping and catching the ring leaders for the police, so I waited for you lot."

"I'm beginning to think that next time you get into hot water don't call me because I've got better things to do than rescue your arrogance."

I certainly had sympathy with Danni, I was feeling some of the same, but I was her parent and parents always try to come to the rescue even when they're as dismissive as Trish could be. "Ha, I'm going back to my flat," she announced and left slamming the door behind her.

"You don't really feel like that, do you?" I asked the older sister.

"I suppose not but she can be so arrogant, I hope they knock that out of her here."

"There are certainly plenty of very clever people here who may, if she rubs them up the wrong way, put her in her place."

"May do her good," said Danni.

"Remember that she is super bright but still quite a bit younger than the rest of them. Even the first years will be as old as she is, if not older, so she is going to find it hard to integrate. Also, if she tries to have sex, it's going to be painful, she still has a little girl's fanny on a nearly adult body. I tried to get her home to get that remedied but she refused to leave Switzerland."

"So I've got one advantage then?" Danni grinned.

"I'm hoping it will stop her thinking about sex but she's growing up, in body anyway."

"What's happening with the TERFs ?"

"I'm not quite sure, last I heard Simon's contact in Texas had been quiet for a couple of days. He told Simon that if anything happened to him his lawyer would post a letter containing evidence of his daughter to the daddy who's funding them. I hope Simon phones tonight."

"Why do they have a problem accepting us as women?"

"It goes back a long time, back to the 70s if not earlier, when a radical feminist Janice Raymond, she wrote a book called, The Transsexual Empire; the making of a shemale. I believe she's a professor somewhere now."

"Have you read it?"

"Yes, it's a very poorly reasoned argument that by performing sex reassignment surgery, that men were trying to infiltrate and undermine the women's movement. Sadly, other lesbian radicals like Germaine Greer, tend to agree with her, and she delights in misgendering trans women."

"They demand their so-called rights but are happy to deny others theirs, why?" Danni was becoming a little angry.

"I don't rightly know, I think it's an example of finger pointing, you know if you're feeling insecure then point at smaller groups, preferably ones who can't fight back, to make yourself feel better."

"But it's so wrong."

"I agree, the enemy is the macho male who believes himself to be superior and that women are there for his needs and pleasure. If all women banded together the problem may be eventually solved but as long as we fight amongst ourselves, misogynists, people like Trump get away with it."

"We need to do something about it."

"It's difficult because TERFs won't listen to reason, they are just as bad as the male misogynists. They're not as much at risk as us because transwomen are very much at risk, possibly because men think they have been misled when they expect to collect on the promise they think the girl's been offering and then can't because she doesn't have the wherewithal. She may also be a rookie when it comes to interpersonal skills, especially dealing with randy males as a woman.

"Remember some transwomen are very convincing, especially if they transitioned young, but they may not have had the final bit of surgery done, for whatever reason. Some seem to develop a surgery fetish and have boob jobs and facial surgery done, because some of that is cheaper than vaginoplasty and they also never seem satisfied feeling the next surgery will make them even more perfect. It's partly the fault of the advertising industry and the media who try to tell us what the perfect body should look like. It causes lots of bio-women lots of problems too. It's all part of a male dominated world that could be with us for a long time."

"Why though? women aren't stupid, well not compared to men."

"It's not a rational thing, remember women are more emotional than men and our hormones, whether natural or medically administered tend to keep us that way. Also when girls are told all the time from their early years through to maturity, that boys don't like clever girls, but they do like sexy ones, it undermines many girls during adolescence who either develop confidence problems or don't do their best at school to try and remain popular. As adults we can see it but younger women can't. You're mostly okay because you have something at which you excel, so it gives you confidence elsewhere and you are physically attractive to others. Think yourself lucky."

"I didn't think I was lucky for quite a while, being made to join the distaff side without any consultation, if you recall?"

"I think your experiences in France as well as those of Pia, and subsequent teasing by others as well as your ability to appear a better looking girl than Pia was able, because you had sisters who encouraged you and coached you on makeup and hairstyles. Trish thinks all men want to be women or certainly all boys want to be girls because she had more fun as a girl than she did as boy, so applies it to others."

"Yeah, but Trish said she was a girl when she was quite young, I didn't."

"Do you regret that now?"

She shrugged at me and went to leave the room but I called her back. "Look, darling, this very important, if you wish you were still a boy, I need to know and see what we can do about it. Reversal is difficult but not impossible and I would have to find a surgeon who could do it. I think you could have a stronger case than a transwoman who has had surgery by mistake, it does happen."

She sat down and began to sob. We hadn't had any regrets about all this for several years, especially when she was picked for England, is that the problem now? She hasn't been picked for the national side for over a year, maybe even two, She tries to be brave about it but really I know it hurt, which is why she delights in scoring against the top women's teams in the WSL. If she isn't the top scorer, then she must be pretty damn close to it. I know she scored three times against Manchester City and also netted a couple against Chelsea. She is an outstanding player, so why don't they pick her?

I went and sat next to her and hugged her saying comforting things to her while she wept on my shoulder. "Come on now, you're beautiful with a lovely body and outstanding football skills, everybody loves you, so what's hurting you?"

"We'll never be accepted will we?"

"Do you mean by others or to ourselves?"

"I don't know what I mean." She blew her nose and paused for a moment, I just kept supporting her, letting her know I was still there for her, rubbing her back and saying nice things to her. "I mean, I never asked to be a woman, did I?"

"No, but after a good think about it, you gave it your best shot and returned to football, where you were head and shoulders above most other female players."

"But I'm not female am I?"

"Your birth certificate says so, so who am I to argue with the Registrar General?"

"Okay, so I've got tits and a fanny and a big arse, but that doesn't make me female does it."

"Most biological women may disagree with you."

"Yeah, but they have periods and can get pregnant, I can't."

"Not all of them can either."

"But most can."

"It's a circular argument, Danni, you can go round and round and just feel more upset. Life throws things like this at us from time to time and how we deal with them sometimes makes us winners or losers. I mean think of someone who has been badly injured in a car accident, they might have life threatening or certainly life changing injuries. Once they recover as much as they can, they have to get back into real life, to work or do things they did before if they can. Those who sit there feeling sorry for themselves will store up all sorts of trouble for themselves about why did it happen to me stuff, and finding depression a constant problem. It's very sad and they need therapy to see what is still good about life. We only walk this way once, we have to try and make the best of it."

"You always saw yourself as female like Trish does, didn't you?"

"I suppose I have, but I still had anxieties and when I first met Simon, I was terrified, especially when I began to have feelings for him. Stella of course just threw me in at the deep end, believing that I would swim, but how could I, I had never dealt with men before in a romantic or sexual sense, I didn't even know if I really fancied them. I was so close to just getting away from home and transitioning, I hadn't thought about relationships; if I had I'd probably have run away and missed out on being the wife of one of the nicest men I've ever met."

"What did Daddy say when you told him?"

Oh dear, this looks like a long session, I went to the kitchenette where the tea bags and kettle were and checked we had enough. With enough tea we'd deal with anything, I thought then of the phrase, 'famous last words', which went through my mind, but I had to pull her through this crisis of whatever it was, so carried two mugs of tea back to the lounge of our suite and handed her one

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3456 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~
288 dozen for dodecaphiles, also a 3456 run.

She accepted the mug of life giving fluid and her red eyes smiled at me despite the feelings she was trying to mask. She thanked me, something Trish was increasingly unlikely to do. I felt that Trish, somehow after living with friends in Switzerland, had seemed to outgrow us, which if that was the case and it was her opinion, then she would have to go it alone and see what happens. If it didn't work out then she'd be welcome to come back to us. Meanwhile I had other fish to fry as the saying goes, where all these axioms come from, I have no idea. Half the time they seem to be universal truths and the rest of it, they're total rubbish. Red sky at night and so on.

"What are you thinking about?" asked Danni.

"Oh, nothing. I find my mind races down cul-de-sacs every so often. Age I suppose."

"Does that mean you're tired of me whingeing about my forced femme status?"

"Of course not, sweetheart, I love you so I am distressed to see you upset. I had hoped you had come to terms with your situation and were ready to move on." It was difficult to describe how I felt without sounding selfish to her.

"I had hoped I had dealt with it too, and playing for England helped, but that didn't really improve my situation, did it?"

"To a certain extent life is what you make it. I know that we all have things we can't change or need help to deal with, but we have more control at times than we believe and sometimes we hand that control to others, deliberately or by accident. There are always others who are willing to take advantage of us, and always those who seem happy to cede control to them."

"I'm not one of those am I?"

"No, certainly not, you are usually one to try and make the best of a situation, you prove that on the soccer pitch quite regularly. I've seen you rescue games that seemed beyond redemption, and go on to win and the rest of your team regain some confidence and start believing in themselves. You inspire others."

"On a soccer pitch, maybe, but in real life where there are many more scenarios, I don't do so well, do I?"

"That's not what I see, life gave you a talent and that gave you a confidence in other things; you're a leader and that self-belief inspires that in others."

"Guess I get that from you." She gave me a lovely smile.

"Does it matter from whom you get it, it's there and mostly you take full advantage of it."

"I like to think that I get it from my mum, she always seems to cope whatever," I blushed, if it came from me then it was something that she had acquired, not being my natural child, although most of the time we didn't remember that.

"I don't think it matters where it comes from as long as you are able to use it."

"Don't you want me to inherit things from you?"

"Apart from my money?"

"I don't need it at the moment."

"That's nice to know," I replied.

"I don't think Trish can say the same."

"We all have different needs, mine is to see you all safe and happy."

"Why is everything you want so simple compared to everyone else?"

"I try to keep things simple, easier to remember. What do you want?"

"I don't know anymore," she started to sob, "Why is everything so hard?"

"It seems to be a law of paradoxes that simple things are the hardest to understand or to achieve."

"Shouldn't that be a law of perversity."

"Well paradoxes are perverse, because they seem to infer the opposite to what logic would imply."

"Run that past me again, will ya?" So I did and more slowly. I could see her lips moving as she digested what I'd said. "Okay, I see what you're saying."

It felt like a first year lecture, especially the introductory one I always do. By the time we get to dormice they seem to understand English miraculously; see you didn't know that cuteness is close to comprehension.

"So will I ever be happy?"

"You are when you're kicking a football around," I tried to keep it simple.

"Alright, I'll give you that but I can't do it all the time."

"Well realised, now all you need to understand is none of us is happy all the time."

"Doh, I know that," she said looking as if I told her a truism that she already knew, which she almost certainly did.

"So why are you seemingly looking for it all the time?"

"Am I? I didn't think I was."

"At best we can hope for contentment, which is not complacency. To be content is to be satisfied with what you have but doesn't preclude looking to improve things, it means some degree of understanding, to be complacent means you no longer try to change things; but only those things which can be changed. If you want miracles, you're likely to be disappointed and that leads to frustration and disenchantment."

"I know all this, Mummy, so why are you telling it to me?"

"Ah, knowing and understanding are different."

"I know."

"We already got that far it's understanding you seem stuck on."

"Like how?" asked Danni, "I know I'm stuck with this body and I understand that, I know theoretically it could be changed but I am so female looking now, it's not gonna change anything. I'm stuck with things as they are, I understand that, so where did I go wrong, oh great parent?"

"Sarcasm doesn't become you, Missy."

"Well you talk a load of bollocks and make it seem like it's so profound."

"Damn, don't tell the First Years, or my secret will be out."

She burst out laughing, "You silly bugger."

"Now you do understand." I told her gently.

"How can you say that, nothing has changed?"

"Not externally, but you have."

"I have, how?"

"An hour ago you were upset, now you feel nowhere near as bad, do you?"

"No, I suppose not," she said having listened to her feelings for a moment, "No, I don't."

"Because you have thought about what you know and integrated it to become part of your understanding. Understanding doesn't always bring happiness because some things we understand are sometimes painful to us or others at first; but the deeper we understand things we can't change and really see that, then we achieve contentment of a sort, but it doesn't mean in the future the status quo has to remain. As circumstances change so must our response in order to deal with them. Understanding things then means you may wish to change them or possibilities arise which makes change realistic."

"Since when did you get this philosophical, Mummy, I usually see you as action woman."

"You can only act upon things you understand, sometimes that happens very quickly like when someone comes to attack you. You understand if you let them you'll regret it, so action to diminish the attack is taken. That might only take milliseconds but it's how we work when we are at the top of our game. Sometimes it means we have to act to prevent threats, such as finding Trish."

"I think I understand, I just hadn't thought of it like that."

"Lifelong learning, is what true education is about and it does that by teaching not what to learn but how to. If we do our job properly you'll know what you need as you progress through your career and life. "

"Wow, my mum the philosopher."

"I try to be when I have time, talking of which I think bedtime is here." She looked at her watch and yawned, "Goodnight, sweetheart."

"Night Mum, and thanks for all the bull shit." She smiled and went to her bedroom.

I thought about the conversation I'd just had with Danni, it was both light and profound at times. I'd never be able to have a similar one with Trish because she seemed unable to look at herself except in an objective sense, analysing everything as if mathematics would provide answers when emotion is needed. Trish couldn't access her emotions like Danni could because her intelligence gets in the way. Sometimes you don't need to know why you feel something, you just need to go with the feeling and experience it, which is what I was trying to teach Danielle. She took some of it on board, Trish wouldn't or couldn't, her ego would mean if she couldn't see what I meant, she would dismiss it as rubbish. She knows she is clever in lots of ways, particularly when pure logic is needed. Give her a mathematical problem and she is in heaven and as she can solve them faster than anyone else I know, I watch that smugness become arrogance, which is not so likeable. It also means that she misses a side that most of us experience much of our life. It can enhance or disturb in equal amounts and one of the aspects of it that many of us experience is love, falling in or out of. Either way it can dominate our lives when it happens and can be delightful or painful. It's what our teens are about, learning to control the effect of our hormones. Some never do and are like M C Beaton's Agatha Raisin, who falls in love in every book. It's irritating at times but we also know it's how she solves the cases she investigates.

I don't know if Trish is capable of falling in love or lust, at times I think she is the living embodiment of Mr Spock from Star Trek, all logic and no emotion. The latter is what makes us human and often means we get it wrong, but it makes us at times, loveable or likeable. It was shown some time ago that many of the decisions we make are not driven by logic but emotion. Most of us don't accept that, but if you allow the premise and let yourself look at some major decisions, you can see that many of them are made by a feeling. Get this one or don't do that because the feeling you have in your gut tells you not to. Remember that desire or yearning are emotionally based. My desire to live as female wasn't based on logic, it was on a feeling which I then used logic to show my body wasn't developing as normal male and that supported what I yearned for, so I used it to confirm my feelings. It could have been wrong and could have been a huge mistake. I was fortunate, it wasn't and I have lived as female with few problems, I fell in love with a man, who I adore and he does me. We are happy together although his work is so demanding I don't see him as often as I'd like. The same I hope could be said of me, my work life is too busy and I neglect other things because of it. One day I shall move on and do something else, breed dormice or study something else, or maybe just become a housewife for my husband and be bored to death. But that's for the future, for now I have some children who look to me as their mother. It's something I never ever thought I'd experience and they are really my priority, no matter their age, not because it makes me feel female, which it does, but because they gave me their trust to protect them and rear them with love. I love each one, and would die for each of them if it were necessary, so far it hasn't been.

I went to bed and lay awake for a while thinking about my chat with Danni. I did some analysing on myself, no not Trish-like stuff, I counted my blessings and then thought how emotion affected me. Probably the biggest barrier was to accept that there may be things we can't measure or understand properly yet, religion is a case in point. I still feel very negative about it because it is largely about manipulating people's fears with promises of eternal life or a rescue service like the RAC - when you need it, the sky fairies will save you. Sadly it doesn't happen, remember St Paul was expecting the second coming in his life time, it didn't happen nor has it since, and I'd guess it never will, but it gives some a comfort (like an insurance policy that never pays out). It's all based on emotion which is why it makes enemies very quickly when you argue. Someone arguing against what we feel are deep emotions makes us close down and refuse to see an argument no matter how compelling.

So where do I put my experiences of the goddess and the blue light? I have agreed that she exists and so does the blue light, but it goes against my map of the universe although experience tells me that it exists. I don't know how I shall integrate it into my life but that is for another day.

I fell asleep with a feeling that she was watching me, was that pure emotion? Who knows?

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3457 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~
Danni seemed in better spirits the next day and I began to think I needed to take my own advice, except I hadn't really remembered of what we had spoken, except I reassured her which was probably all she needed. We had breakfast and I called the local police and said how much longer did we have to wait for them to prove they were losers and when would they enable us to go home. They knew our address as well as my university address so why couldn't we go. I did promise to come back if they really needed to talk to me, but seeing as their case was a nonsense I didn't really expect to do so.

We packed, thanked the hotel for their hospitality, signed the visitors book, packed and left to call at Trish's house and then head for home. Trish was in bed, Danni went up to her room and told her the facts of life, after which she came down looking like something the cat had brought in. She still seemed tired and I wondered if she was taking anything. She explained that she had been working on a theoretical problem about gravitational effects on a body on the surface of Mars, her body was one of the Mar's Rovers and keeping it working as long as possible. I mentioned the dust storms which happened every so often which tend to block the solar panels. It seemed she hadn't thought of that and asked where I had heard about it. I told her that Professor Brian Cox had mentioned in his current series about the solar system and she went off on one. "That bloody man, he's a particle physicist so why doesn't he stick to his own subject?"

I didn't know but because I'm so thick, I understood much better how things worked on the planets from his explanations. We left with her looking up his series on iPlayer and forgetting to say goodbye.

Danni and I left her to ponder the mysteries of the solar system as I did the vagaries of British traffic systems and drivers as we headed for Portsmouth. I was looking forward to seeing the rest of my family and Danni was looking to get back in training and playing for Bournemouth again. We were going round the M25, the world's first circular car park when I had an urge to pull off and drive down through Surrey.

Danni had been dozing and noticed the change in scenery and sat up and asked where we were. She looked at a signpost and asked me why were driving down this road. I couldn't answer her but felt a need to turn off into a track that led to Swandown Farm. I drove all the way to the farmhouse which looked as if the farm was quite prosperous. I drove past the house to a large barn where it looked as if a man was beating seven bells out of a young woman. I stopped the car and Danni was off and jumped on the man temporarily knocking him down while I ran up to the young woman who had severe bruising and bleeding to her face and upper body. I helped her sit down and then went to help Danni who had been thrown off the man who was walking towards her. I stepped in his way and asked him if he wanted to try someone closer to his size.

He rushed at me and I let him run past me and then tripped him as he went using his momentum to make him fall heavily. He got up and charged at me again and the same happened, he swore at me and told me to stand still while he hit me. He charged at me but stopped before I could trip him, he swung at me and I stepped back out of his reach and planted a flying drop kick to his chest, he dropped like a stone, then rose so I did it again. After the third kick he lay still, although he was still conscious. I asked him if he had had enough and he nodded, breathing heavily.

Danni was now with the young woman who was sobbing and had her head in her hands. She led her towards the house. The man got up and staggered towards us and I threw a ball of blue light at him and he fell down again and groaned.

Inside the house we found an older woman who had been assaulted too. The younger woman ran to her and they embraced. Danni went to the kitchen and found some glasses and brought each of them a drink of water. She then went to find a kettle and some tea bags and we had a cuppa and listened to their story.

The younger woman called herself Christine or Tina and her mother was called Joyce. It appeared that they thought the man, her father was away on a business trip and he came back early and found Tina and beat her up, after hitting her mother. It transpired that Tina was actually a boy called Timothy, but had felt himself to be a girl when he was quite small. His father had caught him several times in his sister's clothes and beaten him. He didn't want a pansy for a son. His mother had been much more understanding and let him change when his dad wasn't about. His sister Sally was off at Cambridge Uni reading for a microbiology degree and knew about her 'sister' and condoned it, even giving her, her old clothes.

I looked out the window and I noticed the father had moved and seemingly gone. I hadn't heard a car start so presumably he was somewhere on the property. I was listening for sounds of movement advising them to seek professional help against the violence and about Tina transitioning when the door burst open and the enraged father rushed in brandishing a shot gun. "Now let's see your clever stuff, bitch," he said loudly to me.

"Put the gun down or someone is going to get hurt," I said to him.

"Yeah, you and after that I'm gonna kill that fucking nancyboy." It called for something urgently as he drew back the triggers on the gun. I threw a ball of energy at him which knocked the gun out of his hands and followed it up with throwing my cup half full with tea at his face. He yelled and rushed at me, Danni having hit him in the face with an empty cup which caught him in the eye. He stopped and then went for the gun only I dived for it and rolled away and threw it across the room.

He jumped on me and began to try and strangle me, his weight pinning me to the floor, i struggled but to no avail. Just when I thought he was going to succeed Tina picked up the shotgun and smacked him across the head, he slumped on me and I needed help to get out from under him. He lay still. Danni was on the phone and was calling the police. Now that a firearm had become involved, the police had to be notified.

"I suppose I'd better go and change," said Tina half heartedly.

"No," said her mother and we both agreed. The police needed to see the evidence for themselves. They were quick as they can be when guns are mentioned and a firearms unit arrived in about ten minutes with a helicopter hovering above.

Father went off in an ambulance, but in handcuffs. The gun was removed and with another cuppa we talked for a couple of hours about what had happened.

"How did you become involved?" the inspector, a woman asked me.

"I don't know, it was as if something was calling me to come."

"Like a phone call."

"No, it was all in my mind, but just as real."

"Spooky," she said and when they had decided it safe for them to go and interview the father, she had taken my name and address, told us to be available if necessary for further discussions. We gave statements and I suggested that I had children at home who needed me. As we were saying goodbye, Tina thanked me, she had been checked over by a paramedic who recommended she saw her own doctor. "I called on the goddess when he had hit Mum and came for me, she summoned you, didn't she?"

"I don't know, but she must have heard you cry for help. Sometimes these things defy mundane explanations."

"Thank you, Lady Catherine," said Joyce, "from now on Tina's here to stay. How did you produce the blue stuff?"

"Watch Tina, because one day she will produce her own, the goddess is strong in her, just let her find her path, as she may now."

"I'm going to divorce him and get away from here, somewhere where Tina can exist safely."

"Well, think carefully where you go because even in big cities bigots exist and will try to mess with you. Even in my university we occasionally have problems, most recently with an ultra-feminist group who were trying to get a transgender student expelled for being themselves. It strikes me as absurd that a group of lesbians, who want acceptance and recognition of their right to be who they feel they are can't seem to give that same acceptance to trans women."

"Do you have lots of transwomen at your university?"

"No, just the odd one but we have policies which support them if they are serious in transitioning, just as we accept gay and lesbian groups and try to support them, because some people have very hard lives dealing with their own problems, they don't need us to add to them."

"Didn't you recently have a daughter abducted in Cambridge?"

"Yes, she's okay now and doing a PhD."

"I saw it in the paper, I'm glad she's safe, they are such a worry when they are away from home."

"Yes, but we have to let them go and support them as best we can."

"Such a clever lady," she remarked to Tina as we leaving.

"Huh, there were two of us you know," complained Danni as we drove off.

"I'm sure they notice Desperate Dan's assistance. How about we stop and get you a cow pie on the way home?" She hit me on the shoulder and we both laughed as I found my way back to the motorway.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3458 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~
We went home and after making a fuss of all my children and Daddy, he seemed to need as much of a hug as the girls. I phoned Simon to let him know I was home and he told me he had missed me so much he was coming home on Friday evening and I'd better be ready for him to shag me to death - he has such a way with words.

We told Daddy about our adventures in Cambridge and Sarah listened as well, being appalled by the TERFs abducting Trish and Tina's dad beating her up. It seems bigotry is alive and well and increasing, even Trump, that well known inhabitant of Florida swamp slime managed to add transgender people to a list of hates at one of his rallies, why I don't know, I'm not sure anyone has done anything to cause it, unless it's reacting to his promised policies to get his own back on anyone who has opposed him. Personally, I'd like to see Harris give him a job if she wins the election, cleaning out toilets in a prison in Puerto Rico. But it looks as if he is going to claim victory whatever happens and will play all sorts of games with the results, claiming this and that while trying to control the electoral college. It seems he would be abetted by other Republicans of the hierarchy and it seems as if now nearly all of them have been infected by his disease. More violence is likely to ensue and if he loses, this time he needs to be imprisoned for inciting insurrection.

Come Friday evening Simon rushed me off to bed and fell asleep after the first of our sessions, it seemed shagging me to death needed a rethink, I wasn't too sad and was sore enough after one go. I deftly slipped out of bed and washed and dressed, presenting myself at the dinner table to enjoy one of David's marvellous dishes. When I eventually went back to the bedroom expecting to try and excuse any further attempt of his threat he was still fast asleep and stayed that way until morning. By then I had more or less recovered and provided he was extra gentle, I let him have me again. That I would describe as love-making and we spent a blissful hour before Simon realised he hadn't had any breakfast or dinner and rang down to the kitchen and asked David to do him a big fry up for his breakfast.

By the time we had both showered and dressed, Danni was just setting off for Bournemouth, so we had a quick hug and wished her good luck. "Oh, I doubt I'll be playing, I've missed several training sessions, so I'll be lucky to be on the bench."

"Want me to phone them?"

"No, I'll sit out today's game and have a rest."

It appeared her wishes weren't allowed by her coach who sent her on just after half-time when the team were struggling. Her little holiday must have done her good because she scored twice in ten minutes of being the substitute, twenty minutes later she made a third goal and Bournemouth ladies beat Man Utd ladies by 3 - 2. Danni had a nice bonus coming.

She had phoned Trish to notify her of being home and was half rebuffed as Trish grappled with the problems of Mars' rovers and the maths involved. It seemed Trish was looking to become an astrophysicist, perhaps I should put her in touch with Dr Brian May, who has a doctorate in astrophysics in addition to his brilliant guitar playing.

It all went quiet for a few weeks as Danni and Sarah went back to uni and the girls went back to school. These days David took and collected them which meant I wasn't accosted by Sister Maria for things I didn't have time for anyway. My department had survived with Diane maintaining it but she was glad to give it back to me and promptly went off for a weekend in Llandudno. It rained, as it does there - well there are numerous mountains fairly close, but she had a good time.

Joyce, Tina's mum phoned and asked to come and see me. I invited them both to come for a visit which she accepted. It was Friday again and Simon was staying up in town, he was close to bankrupting the US millionaire who had been bankrolling the TERFs all over the place. He also now knew about his daughter's proclivities and that had severely dented his enthusiasm in supporting her cause. Simon felt no mercy and was determined the man would never pose problems again, and took him to the cleaners; he also managed to call in a mortgage on the church building and proceeded with getting a developer to seek permission to build on the site. You don't cross Simon or harass his family without severe consequences.

Tina and Joyce arrived in time for dinner and they were amazed at the size of the house and the fact that we employed a chef and fulltime cleaners. Emily and her mum had given up their home and moved into the cottage next to David's. They were friends with each other but he wasn't her type nor her his, so they would go off to watch a film or eat out but they told me they weren't dating.

Joyce and Tina had moved out from the farm and were living in a nearby town, they hadn't seen her father since the police had issued an order for him to stay away from them. Joyce had a wealthy family and her mother had paid for Tina to go to a private girls' school after the New Year, which was approaching very quickly. Meanwhile, she had been receiving home schooling while she polished up her girly act.

Some of my girls had managed to be accepted at the convent without too much trouble but they had had a sister about the same age who was already there, I hadn't seen it like that before, but it must have helped enormously.

After a brilliant dinner, we adjourned to my study to discuss whatever thing Joyce had wanted to talk over. Tina, Danni and Sarah had gone off to talk in Danni's room to give us some space in case we wanted to talk about things they'd have found difficult and which might inhibit either of us 'mums' saying what we really thought.

It appeared that Howard, her husband was emerging again. She and Tina had got use a flat her mother owned and was luckily vacant. Howard had tried to get me charged with assault, but we had evidence that he had threatened me with a firearm which meant that the police withdrew his licence and confiscated the gun. The CPS hadn't decided whether to prosecute or not. As Tina and Joyce were now away from the threat, I wasn't too worried, naïve little me.

We were talking about education and issues and divorce when the doorbell rang. I wasn't expecting any callers and Emily who'd been making up beds for our visitors went to answer the door. She was forcefully pushed aside by a man who was wearing a ski mask and holding a hand gun. He made her take him to my study whereupon he pushed her through the door surprising both Joyce and myself.

I noted he had a gun which he was pointing at Emily's head while trying to keep a watch on Joyce and myself. He was too far away for me to have go at so I stayed sitting, hoping I instilled confidence in Joyce but wanting to hug the terrified Emily, who lay cowering on the thick carpet of my study.

"Hello, Howard," I said.

"Who?" he replied trying to disguise his voice.

"Please don't insult my intelligence, there is no one likely to break into my house with a gun, I have killed most of the others and the rest are in prison for a long stay, so it's pretty obvious who you are."

"You can't prove it," he suggested.

"Please put the gun down before you get hurt, and even if you don't shoot any of us, remember hand guns are prohibited in this country with a ten year sentence on anyone found carrying one with a view to injure or kill someone."

"You're going for divorce," he screamed at Joyce who looked on, paralysed with fear.

"Wouldn't you if some moron threatened you with a shotgun?" I asked him.

"Keep out of it," he threatened me with the gun.

"What do you need the gun for, Howard, "Are you scared of little ol' me?"

"I'm going to kill you bitch for interferin' in other people's business and stoppin' me beating the shit out of that little nonce."

"I'll bet you can't do it with your bare hands, coward that you are, need a gun do you, want me to borrow a shotgun from my dad, because that pea shooter doesn't look very big, Oh, I see you're a bit small in the willie department, so you compensate with a gun."

"Shurrup bitch or I'll blow your head off."

"You won't with the safety catch on." It must be the oldest trick in the book but for a split second he looked at the gun and I was out of my seat and on him. I managed to grab his hand with the gun and bashed it against my desk on the way down, he yelled and confirmed my suspicion I had broken some bones with the impact. He had dropped the gun and rose to try and strangle me again. This time I used the turning away manoeuvre and broke his hold on me, he swung but I ducked and kicked him in his family jewels. He swore and swung at me again, this time making some contact and as I fell down there was a loud bang, Joyce had picked up the gun and shot him in the chest. He looked at her with astonishment then fell down nearly hitting Emily who was scrambling out of the room. I rushed to deal with him, he was still conscious and I told him to hang on and stay with me. I was staunching the wound with tissues, trying to stop the bleeding and to save my carpet from blood stains - very caring - me.

The room was filled with children and Daddy, who'd run off to phone police and ambulance. Howard was slipping away when Danni and Tina joined me and started pumping in the blue light. I'd pulled his mask off and was monitoring the pulse in his neck. It became weak and faster, he was going into fibrillation. I gave as much energy as I could and he jerked slightly, his pulse steadied and sirens were heard and then in rushed police and paramedics.

It was chaos for some time as Joyce surrendered the gun and admitted she had shot him when he had attacked me. Emily and I agreed with her account of things. Howard was taken off to hospital by helicopter, Southampton General. Joyce was arrested and taken off by police begging me to look after Tina., Danni already had an arm around her. Finally, after I had calmed Daddy down, we had a cuppa while thinking we'd have to give statements in the morning. I felt it had been a clear case of self-defence but the police always like to look up the cat's arse in case they'd overlooked something, so I could be at the cop shop much of the day. I'd have to phone Diane, I didn't look forward to that, she'd play hell with me, all I had were few bruises, Howard was worse off plus a perforation, the size of a bullet in his chest.

We'd have a busy day tomorrow, less so if he survived, so I offered a request to you know who and sent healing light to him at the hospital. For now it was in the lap of the gods or goddesses and I finally got to bed about two o'clock, still sore after Simon's ministrations from the night before. I was glad he'd gone back to town, he would have killed Howard and possibly got himself shot for his efforts.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3459 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~

None of us had slept well either in our house or in the central police station cells, where Joyce had been taken. I had engaged a defence counsel for her, Kit Mitten KC, who had worked for me before. By the time, Tina and I had got there, Kit was already there looking to watch over statement taking and applying for bail. In his words it was a clear case of self defence. He was trying to kill me and had threatened to do similar to his daughter, just because she was transgender, not something we can help any more than the colour of our eyes.

I had had a strange thing happen during the night. I have one of those multipeg things hanging over the bath on which I hang towels and laundered smalls to dry or air. Our bathroom has a bath /shower, wash basin and loo. It was the latter I was using in the middle of the night, the light from outside making it light enough for me to see well enough not to put the ceiling light on and dazzle myself. I glanced at my towel hanging from the pegs and suddenly it became Jesus on the cross. I blinked but the mirage or hallucination stayed there and he asked me in a quiet voice why I persecuted him. It took me aback for a second, it's not every day that Jesus comes to your bathroom. I looked him in the eye and answered, "Why do so many of your followers persecute people like me?" He looked at me strangely and just faded away. The matter faded from my mind until I was in the interview being questioned about the night and its violent end.

I gave my take on things, saying that I had tried to tell Howard that guns were both dangerous and illegal and asked him to put the gun down. He may have been used to shotguns but not handguns and fell for the oldest trick when I told him the safety catch was still on, enabling me to try and take the gun off him. It worked and I smashed his gun-holding-hand against the edge of the desk, breaking some bones in the process. He subsequently dropped the gun, then hit me, and was going to attack me again when Joyce must have picked up the gun and shot him. Thereafter, I and some of my girls gave him first aid while an ambulance and police arrived.

Joyce was arrested and the rest of us gave statements, which I was doing again although I hadn't thought of anything different. I hadn't seen Joyce pick up the gun as I was too busy trying to defend myself. The shot concentrated my attention and I went into first-aider role, trying to stop the bleeding there by protecting Howard and my Chinese carpet upon which he was lying.

I was allowed to leave as soon as I regave my statement by which time Kit had managed to get bail for Joyce and we all travelled back home in my car. The hospital informed us that Howard was critical but stable. Joyce told us what they had said and added, "That's the bloody problem, he was always hypercritical, especially of Tina."

"At least you weren't arrested for murder," I offered.

"If I had been, I'd have pleaded self-defence and guilty. I shot him with intention of killing him to protect all of us and especially Tina. He was going to kill you, you realise that?"

"Several have tried, looks like my fairy godmother, looks after me."

"Your Guardian Angel, surely?" she queried my statement.

"Whatever," I shrugged remembering my experience in the bathroom that night. Mind you, if Jesus had had a Guardian Angel, we may have all been practicing Mithraism; well not me, because it was largely a religion of soldiers and men only, never mind being resurrected, I'd have failed the medical in the first place.

My mind recalled my response to his question and I felt it was true, but also I had never persecuted him personally, I just didn't believe he was god incarnate and I decided as a young teen, I would never worship a man made god, which is what the evidence suggests once you take the supernatural out of it. But what people believe is up to them, they just don't have the right to prescribe for everyone else and try to force their delusions down others' throats, which is the case in many places, be they Christian, Islamic or anything else. So I despise organised religions and their self righteous followers.

I noticed that an English law had been passed to stop anti-abortionists going within 150 yards of an abortion service, where complaints of intimidation of patients and staff had been levelled at the 'Life' campaigners. Personally, I think it's none of their business, it's a decision for the woman concerned and perhaps her family and the medical advice she gets. Abortions are a socio-medical issue, religion should butt-out. When the sanity goes out of it, as in the US, thanks to Trump, you have the ridiculous situation where women who have a medical need for abortion can't get them and things like pregnant mothers carrying dead foetuses to full term, because the law and its excitable enforcers, won't let the foetus be removed or aborted. But then the US is fast becoming a theocracy and all sorts of idiot things will happen under Trump ll. Thank goodness I don't live there.

Back to my story or that of Joyce, Howard was recovering from being shot. It was going to be a long job, but a murder charge was never needed and self-defence seemed the most obvious answer, but then, when has the law followed common sense? Kit represented her for a few more occasions before someone in the Crown Prosecution Service actually read the statements and threw out the charge, and Howard was to be charged with attempted murder with a firearm. We withdrew charges against him given that he would be charged with possession of an illegal firearm and guaranteed at least 5 or more years. We settled for that in the hope that when he recovered from his injuries and imprisonment he may have learned the folly of his actions. If not, then he may not survive his next attack upon me or his daughter.

Tina looks quite a bright child and was adapting to girlhood very quickly, she had two years before GCSEs and then two years of A/S-level before university by which time the hormones will have done their bit and hopefully, she will have become comfortable in the female role. I think she should do well, although she has to go abroad to get blockers and hormones, thanks to the government. It begins to look as if many governments are anti-transgender. I know some politicians are here, but it appears that lack of clinical proof of outcomes is being used by Parliament and Dr Cass. We all know how successful treatment can be we just have to be patient and let the doubters see it for themselves.

There are some vociferous elements on both sides who need to be muzzled and common sense be allowed to prevail. Unfortunately, neither side will shut up, slowing things down in the process. It seemed crazy that twenty years ago when I went through the process, things were easier than they are now, but I suppose they call that progress -I don't think I agree but can't do much about it.

Tina and Joyce eventually went home and I was able to devote my attention to earn my salary. We were still having a bit of bother with TERFs. Once they were identified we pointed out that they had agreed the policies of the university when they applied. They were thus in possible breach of the terms of their admission. Once this was pointed out to them, most told us it was unintentional and their degrees became more important than the sex-politics, especially when we pointed out that the university would not tolerate any misogyny or persecution of minority groups.

I made an address to all first year students and made quite an issue of this latter point, stating that anyone found to be in breach of the rules of the university could find themselves suspended or worse, asked to leave, and their degree could be invalidated. They were left in no doubt about the university's support for sexual/ gender, ethnic or religious minorities provided those minorities didn't become breachers of the university's code themselves; if they did there would be consequences they wouldn't like. Sometimes I wondered why we couldn't all just live in peace and cooperation, but it seems hot-heads and disrupters will always be there and we will need to deal with them. I hope in a kindly way, because there can't be too much kindness in this world wherever you are.

Trish seemed to be keeping her distance from us. She was still occupied with astrophysics and calculations for all sorts of odd scenarios that may be encountered in various space missions to other planets. In our brief conversation when she answered the phone, despite my frequent attempts to contact her, she said that the European Space Agency were interested in recruiting her. I jokingly said, " don't get sent to Mars will you because getting hold of you is hard enough now," to which she replied, "Yeah that's a one way trip, exciting isn't it?" She then rang off and I was quite unsettled by the conversation. Is suicide always exciting ? I wondered.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3460 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~
The next morning I was thinking of Trish's response to my request to keep in touch and felt rather unsettled by it. Youngsters are very dismissive of anything that questions their right to do anything, including risk taking. It explains why so many young men fail to reach maturity, that and suicide, and we know that testosterone, especially in the presence of young women, makes young men compete in the stupidity stakes to outdo each other, often with tragic consequences. At least, the testosterone element doesn't worry Trish anymore, but she is naturally very competitive. Mind you so is Danni, and she uses hers as part of her motivation in the soccer matches she plays. She is naturally more athletic than Trish but equally problematic at times.

Life's pendulum swung back to more mundane matters and I was able to get some university work done, the TERF situation seemingly over for now, although we tried to watch them to be prepared for future action. Simon's intention to destroy the American millionaire, went far enough to neutralise his threat and when the money dried up, so did the TERF problem, so things were under some control now, thank goodness.

We had a brief fall of snow on Wednesday which was very early and people gave vent how it was a portent of the winter to come, while others rubbished theories of global warming - 'everything should be warmer and drier'. It shows that many are aware of climate change but not what it means and probably climate disruption may be a better term for it because we are certainly experiencing that, with very wet weather, and sudden cold snaps. When the next heat wave happens here, perhaps they'll stop complaining about the cold and the wet as they die from heat exhaustion.

We get reports of climate change not being taken seriously by governments, which is probably the case. It's also suggested that a rise of two or three degrees Celsius is quite likely by the turn of the century. When you look at all the droughts, fires and floodings, many would say it's already here. Trump's choice to run the US environment department is an oilman and a reputed climate sceptic. So, if major carbon polluters don't seem to care, what chance things getting better? The short answer is we are fucked. The long answer is because of the oil industry, which has made zillions for the US, things will continue to get worse. Until we operate at continental levels to do something about mitigating CO2 and other greenhouse gases we are heading for disaster. In Europe, we may be any way as Putin seems to be making progress again Ukraine, backed by China, North Korea and Iran - all pariah states with little semblance of democracy, and with Trump in charge Kyiv seems likely to have to make disagreeable settlements with the Russian menace.

So the future is uncertain, biodiversity seems to worsening through habitat destruction, pollution and pesticide use by agriculture and development of greenfield sites, That coupled with climate change could have very serious consequences for us all. At the moment, the agri-lobby which includes the farmers is attacking the Labour government who have raised taxes. But no-one I see in the papers have suggested that farmers produce some of our food, but also should say they produce 60% of the pollution in our waterways, a high percentage of the loss of biodiversity through pesticide use and persecution of certain species, such as badgers and birds of prey.

We hear farmers complaining about government stopping them from supplying food to the people, which is all they want to do. It's crocodile tears because they want to make large profits as well and screw wildlife. Many of them don't give a toss about wildlife and I must admit I don't have much sympathy for a group who have, along with American oilmen, destroyed much of the world as it was when I was kid. When I think about during Tom's lifetime, it is far, far worse.

Danni gets regular updates from Tina, especially how her life has changed and how she's having trouble coping with it. She is seeing a gender clinic, but as I have said before having to go abroad for blockers and mones, so her position is looking much improved. Her father is still very ill in hospital, but I see that as nearly self-inflicted. If he had accepted his new daughter, it wouldn't have happened. At least I wasn't involved in the shooting this time, and even here, he brought the gun along, meaning to use it and almost succeeded. It's awful to think about.

We were looking at exam questions and marking protocols. It may seem early, but we usually have several arguments about it, what should or shouldn't be in the curriculum, and it can hold up things for anything up to a month.

You must remember that we are an institute of education and learning, and we have some post graduate students who aren't sure what they want to study or if they have grants for research. One that we are considering is the colonisation of temporary ponds/pools left by the root boles of fallen trees. If you look at trees that have blown over, they often have a root mass attached and when the tree falls, its roots are ripped out of the ground leaving a hollow behind. With rain and other forms of water flooding into said hole, there is a chance for a temporary or short term pond, which gives an opportunity for aquatic animals, insects, microorganisms and water plants to colonise it. According to a new book I've recently obtained, no one is researching it, the colonisation and by what, so we now have a student applying for all sorts of grants from water bodies, and guess who is supervising him? You know I enjoy playing about in ponds, so perhaps it meets a need in me as well. My name should also be included in any papers he publishes, so it meets a double need for me. I am a scientist and am expected to publish some research all the time. Finding time is the problem and also doing something I enjoy, that usually means it's not really work. It could be fun, we have been looking at sites in the New Forest and some more local wet woods. Other things have stopped me being as involved as I'd have liked but at least this way, I am involved.

That night when I went home, I checked all my equipment at home, including my outfits, waders and nets. I don't use jam jars today I have plastic pots, test tubes petri dishes and larger trays for examining my catches. My student, Mike, has a history of pond dipping as a kid too, so we should get on famously and it should improve my identification of aquatic animals. We're only listing macroinvertebrates, such as insect larvae, not bothering with lesser sized things, but that needs studying too. Do tardigrades come into that, seeing as most are less than 1mm? We shouldn't be looking for those, but they are such amazing animals and virtually indestructible. Some people describe them as water-bears, but they are an order of their own and nothing to do with Ursa.

That night I had a bit of a barney with David, him accusing me of abandoning piles of junk in his kitchen. I reminded him that I cooked there regularly before him, the so-called junk was scientific equipment and if I hadn't been so busy I have put it away days ago. The girls helped me tidy it away in the storage room behind my study, where it had been before I felt a need to check it. I cleaned it up as we went along, not having used if for a few years, and listed things I needed to replace.

We listened to the gales blowing outside and were glad that we had a nice warm house in which to live. I worried that it stood so tall, three storeys plus a cellar, so it was quite a high building and I related my worries for it to Daddy. He seemed slightly amused telling me I was a 'worrit knickers', that it had been here for two or three hundred years and he expected it to last at least as long again. I wasn't so sure and Storm Bert, seemed a vicious creation of nature, helped by climate change. Okay, when Beethoven repeats a theme, everyone thinks it's brilliant, when I do it, they just complain. It is used regularly in lecturing, because it helps the audience remember items that are thought to be important. It's also an established technique in NLP, where things are seeded during a session and then are reaped or collected at the end of the session, Billy Connolly used it during his stage shows, particularly when telling long jokes, but then he is married to a clinical psychologist, although he no longer performs. I must admit, I didn't particularly care for his material, finding it crude and unfunny at times but i wouldn't have wished Parkinson's disease on him, poor chap.

"Mum, come quick," called Hannah and I rushed to her side. She was looking down the garden and a tree was swaying in the wind. Suddenly the wind seem to ease then blew with a terrific force and the tree toppled. It was away from the house but would require a chainsaw to tidy up as I didn't think we'd be able to pick it up and replant.

"You've got a root hole to play with now," said Danni, "I suppose I could look at it regularly and compare it to Mike's research.

"Nothing to stop you doing a dissertation for your BSc."

"You'll help me?"

"We'll deal with that later, I can't help you too much, it'll impair your research, but I can loan you equipment and a microscope and loads of books."

"You'll help with identification of bugs and things?"

"I expect so, I have loads of field guides for you to use, and remember each one is a bona fide reference, as ID will be important."

"How long will it take to fill with water?"

"If it keeps raining like this, no time at all, but it could take much longer for things to become established. As soon as it's dry take photos of the concavity and also measurements, drawings, analyses of soil types and so on, then you can chart its development as a pool and its inhabitants."

"Sounds complicated to me and a lot of work."

"Danni, it is for a degree not Mars bar wrappers."

"Yeah, okay, I'll look at it tomorrow, will you show me how to go about it?"

"What is difficult in taking a few measurements and photos?" I was beginning to feel an element of laziness entering this and said so, whereupon Danni flounced out of the room.

"If it was Trish you'd help her," was thrown at me as she left.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3461 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~

The night was noisy and kept me awake at times but the next day was better and the winds more gentle, although strong enough to require some form of coat. Danni's mood or sulk had abated a bit like the weather and after breakfast we ventured out into the garden and she took photos and measurements of the hole the prostrate tree roots had created. It was easily a metre across and well over half a metre in depth, so apart from measuring its dimensions we also made a suggestion of its volume, and while Danni was calculating that I took a sample of the water already lining the bottom of the hole which was about 10 cms deep, I sucked it up with a small pipette and put it into a series of small tubes which were designed for using in a centrifuge' I then sealed these and put them in a small plastic bag and shoved them in the fridge in my study - I know, so opulent, but it comes in handy and I don't get complaints from David. He has never forgiven me for keeping a dead otter in the freezer, waiting for Cardiff University to collect it, which they did eventually. We almost came to blows and I nearly asked them to collect him as well. The recent brouhaha about my nets and other equipment in the kitchen reminded me how easily good friends can become sworn enemies.

I took one of the phial type bottles into work with me and offered it to Mike to analyse, telling where it came from and how Danni was intending to measure its colonisation as her BSc dissertation. He looked askance for a moment then smiled at me and offered her support if she needed it. I thanked him and told him she was busy measuring everything at the moment. He was doing a study of several holes. Whereas hers was one of the changes occurring at one hole during a series of months, his study could last several years. He smiled in a much more confident way at my disclosure indicating that there was no conflict of interest and I also told him that I was his supervisor but just a supporter for her, helping with identification with any species we found and its implication for her study. Sometimes I wished she'd studied physics and then there'd be no overlaps or potential conflicts, but no, I don't really, I quite like being on the periphery of Danni's project, which reminded me that Sarah was looking for a study subject as well. I suggested doing something with spiders, but they're not her favourite form of wildlife, can't think why.

My time as an undergraduate seemed much fuller than my daughters' but I suppose soccer does take time out of Danni's but enables her to run a newish car but we all realise that sporting careers tend to be rather ephemeral and age and injury tend to have some limitations on them. I was reminded of a chap I knew at Sussex; he was a post grad student and I was a first year undergraduate. He was also quite tall and broad with it and a keen squash player, I played the odd game of badminton when they were short for the numbers to play a game.

John Terrence was my post grad associate and he explained that he was interested in something to do with the palps of spiders. Trying to show my cleverness, I asked him if he meant pedipalps and he told me if that had been the case he'd have said so. I blushed at his reply, it was one of the things I was really good at, blushing.

"Look don't take this the wrong way, but are you a poof?"

"I don't think so, why?"

"You look more girl than boy; you have tits, don't you?"

If I blushed before, I was positively incandescent at this. "Um, it's just puppy fat," was my reply.

He looked at me more deeply than before, "How can it be puppy fat? You may have a pair of puppies up your jumper, but the rest of you is as skinny as they come. Your arse is also more girlie than a boy's should be and your voice hasn't broken yet has it? Are you taking hormones?"

"No I'm not, I can't help it if my body does its own thing," I answered him but also felt my eyes brimming with tears.

"Okay, look I didn't mean to upset you, so don't cry. Look are you a boy or a girl?"

"I think I'm turning into a girl, which I suspect I should have been all along, but my father is determined that I am a boy, even if my biology seems to try and prove him wrong."

"So is it Charlie or Charlotte, I've noticed that you answer to either and old Butterworth seems to think you're a girl."

"I don't care, it's not important really."

"Yes it is, I don't want to embarrass you and what you call yourself tends to indicate how you see yourself."

"As a bit of a mess to be honest but I am increasingly seeing myself as a girl."

"Right, Charlotte it is, don't worry I'll try not to embarrass you."

"Okay, and I'll try not to call you Spiderman."

We both laughed at the thought of him swinging through Brighton like a high-tech Tarzan, using the supposed gooey gossamer stuff of spiders instead of the traditional lianas, just as well I suppose, Brighton is singularly short of the latter.

"You're good with slides aren't you?"

"I suppose I get by making them," I answered.

"Go on, Butterworth seems to think you are the bees knees."

"I've done a few of those while I was at school, despite a homophobic monster of a headmaster. I used to hide in the biology lab and one of the technicians took me under his wing and taught me lots about making slides. He was really ace at it and became increasingly proficient. Butterworth has shown me some advanced techniques as well, he really is a love isn't he?"

"Only a girl would say that, Charlotte." To say I blushed would be an understatement, if I'd had erections, which I didn't, I would probably have fallen over through shortage of blood, thankfully I didn't. I wasn't sure what was going on with my body but it seemed to become more female every year and I wasn't doing anything to encourage or prevent it nor was I having it investigated. I did feel myself female really, and I didn't want my hopes to be squashed by some unhelpful medic.

"Look if I dissect out these palps can you make some slides of it? If you ask old Butterworth if we can borrow one of the tech rooms or a bench in his lab to do so, I'm sure he'll let you."

"Why don't you ask him, you're the lead researcher?"

"If you want me too, but I've seen the way he looks at you and I think he'll grant you almost anything."

"Why?"

"Because he thinks you're a very pretty young woman and he has a soft spot for you because you are unaware of it, aren't you?" I laughed in response.

"I know he wears glasses but he isn't blind."

"When did you last look in a mirror?" asked Mike.

"This morning when I brushed my hair, cleaned my teeth and washed, why?"

"Because they all think you're a pretty girl, not some effeminate bloke." I had to think carefully what he was saying. I was seventeen and away from home for the first time. My father was partly supporting me, so I couldn't afford to piss him off, plus I was on the verge of taking out a student loan to buy a bike. I knew how I felt, I just didn't realise they all knew it and here was a boy older and wiser than I was, telling me that I was pretty. Oh shit, shit shit!

After our embarrassing introduction, we got on quite well. Mike was aware that legally I was male and that stopped him from thinking that I was available for more than making slides. Over the next month, I spent every spare moment in Butterworth's lab or his back room making slides for Mike. Butterworth looked at my work and told me I was streets ahead of the average biologist and maybe I should consider microbiology. His flattery was pleasant but then I also had to remember if he thought I was a pretty young woman, he could be a dirty old man and that was a bit frightening. In fact, he wasn't, he was a lovely old thing and when I was making slides for all and sundry and making a few pounds along the way, he made no objections although it was obvious that several of the subjects that I was mounting on the glass slides were not something that undergraduates should be playing with, but I was getting a reputation as the person to go to if they wanted a slide made. In fact Butterworth asked me to do some for his department.

These were some unusual items, either from abroad or donated from various sources including abattoirs and other departments. When I asked why he wasn't doing them himself as the local expert, he answered, "Why should I when I can defer to my lovely assistant who is actually better at it than I am. Remember I do pay you for any we decide to keep for the collection."

"You don't need to do that, Dr Butterworth, it's my pleasure and I do owe you for allowing me to use your lab so often."

"Miss Watts, your presence is always a delight and your technique is quite brilliant and worth every penny."

"Yeah, and how long will they last when used by students?"

"I hope for many years, we have a technician who is photographing all of them and we hope to have a digital library available for use by the hoi polloi by next year, so your slides may last many years."

So he continued to be my favourite lecturer while I was at Sussex and I spent many happy hours playing with microscopes in his laboratory. As for Mike, once he got the slides he wanted our association declined especially when he was invited to bring his girlfriend along to one or two social things. He didn't give me away but he just told them we weren't an item and that I wasn't interested in relationships. Half my contemporaries thought I was an effeminate boy and the others weren't sure. But I was one hell of a slide maker.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3462 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~
I was sitting at my desk in my office and Diane was chasing up some info for me, she loves doing it and I'm happy to let her. My mind, blank for a moment, returned to my time of slide making at Sussex. While almost anything went in Brighton, I preferred Hove. These days they are joined and form the city of Brighton and Hove. I discovered there had been a small private hospital in Hove where they did sex reassignment ops. I even walked past it once, it was called The Avenue Clinic. I hurried away, afraid the stigma of being transsexual would become public. Although I was in deep denial, thinking I was actually female not some sort of weirdo, it was becoming more mainstream but it was still a target for the tabloids who were rarely filled with compassionate articles about the plight of such people; no they were a target and the stories were lurid and sensationalist and the murder of such a person would be only beaten by some relationship to royalty for tabloid readers interest.

At home my father occasionally bought the News of the World, a tabloid with a greatly disreputable reputation for sleaze and porn exposures as they liked to call them, or human interest stories. He saw me reading one one Sunday before I went to uni and knowing of my proclivities he sarcastically pointed at the article and said, "Is that how you want to end up, making money for these scurrilous scumbags who write these things or read them? Well, is it, can't you see how I'm trying to protect you from this sordid part of life? Do you want them to headline it with Biologist defies nature to become a woman, well, is it?"

"No, of course not, and I don't understand why the story should be about an individual rather than the snobs who look down their noses at transgender people before going home to abuse their children."

"Are they snobs or just ordinary people who have no idea of this underworld where poofs and effeminate homos like to pretend they're women? t\They're not, they still got penises; so how can they be women?"

"There is something inside them which tells them they are women not men but the average man in the street doesn't want to listen to their stories or their pain, he just wants to look at the pictures while using his left hand, which once his desire for sensational has been filled, he can go back to being a pretend respectable member of society who then condemns anyone who is different, pointing the finger to distract from his own foibles, which are probably worse than someone wanting to change their sex."

"So you want people to point you out and laugh at you, do you? You want to be one of these creatures who are neither fish nor fowl, and who anyone can see are more male than female. Do you want school kids running behind you and calling you names, because that's what will happen to you and your mother and I have to live with the shame you will cause us."

The discussion was over other than him to issue another warning about if he caught me again, he would knock the silliness out of me and make a man of me. I ran up to my room afraid he would see my tears and misinterpret them as a sign of weakness. The date for me to attend Sussex couldn't come quickly enough and I could legitimately leave home. Of course, he asked me if I was only going there because it was the gay capital of England and I'd be at home amongst all those weirdos? It wasn't as I didn't particularly like the place, but they were running the course I wanted to study and had a good reputation for a worthwhile degree.

He had been on at me about my hair length again; this time he told me if I got it cut shorter he'd give me an extra tenner a week towards my keep. Seeing as things were going to be pretty tight in a financial sense, that seemed like a very useful trade off. I mean, my hair would grow again although it was very long at present. My mother offered to pay for my visit to a salon, she knew a few things he didn't and she gave me twenty pounds towards it.

I made an appointment for a week later but spent the whole time as an abject wretch, my only outward display of femininity was being lost and I would become just another weedy teenager, a seven stone weakling just inviting others to kick sand in my face. The hair had marked me out as being odd, but that just meant most people left me in peace in case they caught my disease. I could live with that, I wasn't very sociable and spent my time cycling round the neighbourhood noting the remains of hedgehog road kills and putting them on a streetplan. I sent the plan and my rather amateur paper to Professor Stephen Harris at Bristol university, he invited me to go and see him. I went the day after I got my hair cut, it was a girls type cut, but my hairdresser only ever thought I was a girl so what did I expect. It was a bit like a long pixie cut and if I combed or brushed it flat, it looked more boyish, well to me it did.

I wore some tidy cargo pants that I hadn't worn while falling into river mud or stagnant ponds, so they were still nearly pristine, and a sweat shirt. In my rucksack I had copies of my paper and I was looking forward to meeting the great professor. His subject was more urban foxes or badgers but seeing as it was urban hedgehogs or deceased ones, I thought he'd be interested and he was.

He called me up to his office. It was quite a warm day, and he offered me a cold drink which I accepted. I had signed the report and my letter C.Watts. I knocked on his door and he called me to enter, stood up and shook my hand and addressed me as MIss Watts. Despite my butch haircut and male type clothes he took me as female and I was too embarrassed to correct him. He complimented me on my report and asked me if I was still in school. I told him I'd just been accepted to do biology at Sussex and he nodded. "If I'd seen this before you applied to them, I'd have offered you a place here to do biology." I thanked him but hinted that I wanted to get away from home. I also knew my father would have curtailed my freedom if I had gone to Bristol.

We then discussed my report and he showed me how I could improve it, to get some other papers to see how they wrote about the subject and to copy their style, he told me what else I needed to do including references although I could alter the title to show it was an observational study. He gave me a whole hour and I was overwhelmed by his generosity with his time. My head was buzzing with ideas and he offered to read my amended report and would suggest which publication would be most interested. I was walking on cloud nine and almost didn't hear him call me Miss Watts as I left. Years later I met him as I really was and I was also seen as a mammal ecologist due to my dormouse work and we always got on well together.

I caught the bus home and spent the next couple of days in my bedroom. I rewrote that paper so many times, trying to put in all the suggestions he had given me and downloading all the papers I could find on hedgehogs and also road kill in urban settings in the UK. I had hoped to finish it by the time I left for Sussex but It was a forlorn hope. So it was a year later when I found the manuscript on my laptop and having had some lectures on writing a scientific paper, I sent the final version to him, reminding him that he had invited me to send the final draft to him a year ago. I emailed it and that was it.

I was amazed when a few months later he replied or a colleague of his did, offering further amendments and the reasons for them and suggested the name of a lesser known journal who might be interested because it was in their locality. I made the changes he suggested and submitted it to the journal, 'Proceedings of the Bristol Scientific Society'. I was astonished months later when I received an email from them to say they were going to publish it and the amendments they would make to fit their editorial presentation. I agreed and told them so by return. They wanted to know a little about me so I told them I was an undergraduate at Sussex University.

Again months later I received an electronic copy of their journal and there was my name in print, well, Miss C. Watts, said the journal and I wasn't going to complain but it was some time before I could actually share my achievement because I was still pretending to be a boy although most of my contemporaries were either fed up with my indeterminate appearance and longish hair, my clothes were baggy and grungy. I did all the field work I could but it shortened the life of my attire. It concerned me because I knew that most women would wear better clothes or smarter ones. Having bought my bike, money was tight so I only replaced things when they were falling apart, so my sartorial presentation was very limited. I was still an expert slide maker and was rapidly acquiring a reputation for my increasing knowledge. I just soaked it up either from lectures, the literature, or fieldwork. I was regarded as an oddball, either an effeminate scruffy male or weird academic woman who had no interest in her appearance. It kept people away although at times I felt quite lonely and wanted to talk to someone about me but avoided student health because I worried it would be on my record and my father could find out.

We had some further confrontational episodes which had at times become violent on his part. I stopped going home and he retaliated by cutting my allowance. I was now working as well as studying to make ends meet. I was buying my clothes from charity shops and mainly wearing women's clothes provided they weren't too obvious and besides, my hips were now too wide to fit men's trousers unless they were sizes too big and didn't fit anywhere else. I did alter some with my home sewing kit, so they were a little better fit and I did my own repairs where they got torn or seams split.

My job was delivering papers which I did before going to college or on Sundays, when I had to pull a trolley behind me because they were so heavy, but I tried to see it as exercise to keep me fit and slender.

Diane entered my office with the required research we needed and my reverie ended, but she had made some tea, so I forgave her and I showed her my first published paper, on hedgehogs.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3463 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~

Diane read my paper and commented that Cathy had a longer scientific career than Charlie had. agreed although I also had to show her one that I published as Charlie while I was at Sussex and was delighted to see that the author had been corrected to Catherine Watts courtesy of my then Professor Herbert. He had since become a very helpful colleague, although I think I was the only female he hadn't tried to bed who went to Sussex.

I checked on my post grad student who was studying fallen tree root ponds and he had found several in the same woods, where I had done some of my dormouse research as a post grad student. I also checked with Danni to see how she was getting on in our orchard. She said using my better microscope, she had identified half a dozen rotifers, some bacteria - which she'd only identified to type, and some protozoans - these are things like amoeba. She also found a copepod, with my help, and a couple of flatworms. From the latter she realised that if you try to store them in alcohol they shrivel up. I then told her to go and see how you should do it and it took her an afternoon to research it. She also found nematodes, very small worms and a couple of mites, which lived in the soil but survived in the temporary pond the storm had created.

Sarah helped her and they were going to research together. I told them it was okay to do it but they could expect a tougher examination because they were sharing. They accepted that, shrugged and went back to their project.

Hannah and the younger girls wanted to be involved as well and nearly destroyed it when they went to add tap water to the small pool as it was reduced in size. Sarah managed to stop them and they added some rainwater from a butt that Tom had, collecting water off the roof of the greenhouse. Tap water often kills freshwater invertebrates especially the smaller ones like rotifers.

I had actually forgotten my birthday until I was reminded by Diane; she brought in some fresh cream cakes to celebrate. I wondered what it was for at first I had so many things going on, so my mind, such as it is, was fully occupied. I was a little worried about Trish, and Danni texted her to tell her to get in touch with me as I was worried. She sent one that night saying she was busy and didn't have time for idle chatter. Danni wrote back to her saying that I was also very busy and may forget to renew her allowance. Her tone was much gentler afterwards detailing how she was trying to calculate several things for the European Space Agency (ESA) mainly about self-propelled Mars rovers and making them able to withstand the dust storms they have on the red planet.

I was pleased she was busy but disappointed that her work seemed more important than her family. I mentioned it to Simon who apparently informed his father - the owner of the house she was using and he carpeted her, stating her use of his house required her to keep in regular touch with the whole family, including him otherwise rent may be levied which he was sure she couldn't afford. It was effective and she contacted us by text about once or twice a month. It was better than nothing and I knew she was busy, but I'd always thought we had a special bond; it appeared I was mistaken.

Tom told me not to worry as young people often forgot those who had sacrificed to get them a place or a job because they lacked the experience of the older people they used, the oldies mainly doing things because they had struggled themselves and didn't want their children to suffer as well. My birth father wasn't one of these as he cut my allowance knowing that I would struggle and to try to make me something I wasn't, I had great pleasure showing him that I'd got a first, won a cycle race - the hill climb without his help. I told him that I didn't need his broken promises to survive and he could stick them where it gave him most discomfort.

He'd promised me extra money for getting my hair cut before I went to Sussex but seemed to forget it when it suited him. I couldn't cope with such inconsistency and got myself various jobs. As my appearance became more female looking the newsagent for whom I delivered papers told me he wanted me to work in the shop as he didn't like sending girls out in the dark mornings. I used to start earlier but spent most of time organising the daily papers for the paperboys, putting them into rounds in the order that they should be delivered.

When someone went sick, Adam, the newsagent went out himself and left me in charge of the shop. It reminded me of my time doing the same in Bristol and I knew I could do it quite easily once he showed me how to use the different sort of cash-register he had. Before long, I was only doing a job in the newsagents. It meant early starts and therefore early nights. Most nights I was in bed by nine o'clock and up before six. As he sold croissants and some other pastries that's what I had for breakfast most mornings and occasionally a sausage roll or readymade sandwich, tuna of course. It gave him a chance to do his books while I served in the shop, which was like a minimart. At times, we had to be careful about shoplifters. I usually called him then and he dealt with them, as he was usually doing management stuff in his office, they didn't know if I was there on my own or not. I didn't want any involvement with the police because of my appearance, I'd have to tell them I was transitioning and that opened up a whole new can of worms. Some of the Hants Constabulary were as Neanderthal as the Met Police and I didn't need to be known to them as a weirdo as it might affect the way they treated me.

One morning, just after we opened Adam caught someone stealing, he challenged them and they pulled a knife on him. It was all recorded on the shop's CCTV but that didn't show how scary it was. Adam was no coward but when someone waves a blade in front of you perspectives change rapidly. "Charley call the police," he called at me, but the man said if I did he would stab him for sure. I saw it all on the monitor by the counter and didn't know what to do. I walked towards them saying I hadn't called them yet brandishing my phone in my hand. I knew Adam was just waiting for a chance to go at him. I stepped towards them standing by the tins of baked beans, I stealthily picked one up and hurled it at the thief. It hit him on the side of his head, he jumped and Adam smacked him in the face and grabbed the hand the knife was in. They wrestled each other to the floor and I dialled treble nine and requested police saying that my shop was being robbed by someone with a knife. They were with us five minutes later, an armed response unit, rushing in with guns drawn. That was more scary than the bloke with the knife. They took him off very quickly and Adam gave me a hug and thanked me for my distraction. A copy of the film was made and given to a policeman who came to take statements a little later. My distraction was clearly visible on the disc and the copper told me I was a regular heroine. I tried to keep a low profile and Adam dealt with most of it as I served in the shop. I was a couple of hours late getting to my class but my tutor told me not to worry as I was still streets ahead of most of my contemporaries. I explained why I was late and he shook his head, "Are you telling me the baked bean is mightier than the knife." We both laughed at it and at my reply which agreed it was, as long as the beans weren't on toast.

Danni already had quite a nice salary playing soccer for Bournemouth Ladies, with a bonus for scoring goals or setting them up. She seemed to have one or the other nearly every time she played. It disturbed her studies very slightly as she had to attend for training and matches. She often ate take-aways after the games or evening training, which probably did her no good at all, but she probably did it no more than the average undergrad though hers were often more expensive ones, but probably no more nutritionally helpful. Anyway she looked alright on it.

My relationship with Tom prospered, if you remember he was missing a daughter or dochter as he called her and was rattling round in a big old farmhouse on his own. I was invited to stay there when I was having problems with the flat I was renting from a charity linked to the university. The arrangement was, I thought, temporary but in thanks I cooked a few meals and he told me he was regarding me as a daughter, not one of his post grad students. I told him I had lost my father several months before and he told me as we both had a need, he would become my unofficial adopted faither and I'd be his adopted dochter. I didn't know what to say, he was such a lovely old man compared to the man who sired me. He thought I was hesitating because I was unsure and asked me what was wrong. I burst into tears because he was nicer than anyone had been before and I didn't want to abuse his generosity. "There's nae chance o that, I'm nae as daft as I appear." I threw my arms around his neck and told him I'd be honoured to be his adopted dochter however legally correct the arrangement would be. He laughed and told me I wouldn't pass the medical for an adopted son and the offer he was making seemed to suit us both. Once again I hugged him and cried all over him. Since then I have grown to love him like a parent and consider him to be one of the only real gentlemen I have ever met. Perhaps Simon and Henry also make the grade but not many more.

Simon came home the weekend after my birthday and gave me a diamond necklace only this time I didn't put it in the washing machine. He thought it was hilarious that I had forgotten it, he also told me that he'd be home on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day. He'd have to return for the Friday but would be home for the weekend. Wonderful, I hardly see him these days and was looking forward with a little trepidation and knew that we loved each other but I was not anticipating as gladly, the fact that I was going to be sore over Christmas. Ah well, such is my lot and my diamond necklace was lovely and I was glad we had a safe.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3464 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~
Diane and I worked all day on how we could save money in the department, since like many universities we were facing a shortage. Like many institutions full of very clever people, there was also a shortage of common sense and Covid showed what happened when you lose lots of overseas students in a short time. The money they paid helped most universities to get through fiscal difficulties, the overseas students had largely gone but the prudence that had been lacking amongst all these super-brains had not been realised by those who thought the money train would eventually run out as was happening now.

Our department was relatively lucky as we weren't in an overspend situation but the university as a whole was. Simon had shown me how to demonstrate that we were fiscally in the black and I was trying to make the case that I wasn't going to sacrifice my financial care to save departments who weren't. The estates department had continued building student accommodation even while the finance to continue had been raised. Of course the argument that we were run by bean-counters was never far away and we had been economising for some months, our courses were full and looked promising for 2025 and were in credit, so why should I bail out the estates department - a point I made vigorously at the student council. Estates had lost several staff including senior managers for their feckless attitude towards the coming storm. We were being allowed to raise fees but were still going to be short and I actually asked in a council meeting why present and future students should be made to pay for a problem they'd had nothing to do with.

The present situation was very unsatisfactory, we had unfinished halls of residence and a potential oversupply of accommodation. Again Simon helped by getting an estimate of future need and how we could lease out the other bedsits for non-student use. We worked out the market rate which well above the fees we were charging but which over a year could provide half of the capital required to resolve the crisis. If we sold them, it would provide all the missing capital but if we needed more rooms if the situation improved we would then have to find sites and build again and who knew what could happen then. No one seemed to foresee Covid, so it could happen again or something equally awful, and we'd be back to square one.

I also proposed an investment fund which would be managed by Cameron's Bank, the original merchant form which gave rise to High Street. I hoped that some sort of contingency fund might make things easier if disasters befell us again. The idea was liked but not supported.

As Vice Chancellor, Tom had prevented much of the trouble by being insightful enough to see it coming and he had successfully steered us away from the worst of it but even he had been caught by the problems arising from our oversupply of student residences.

He resubmitted a plan that we engage a company to run such a letting agency to deal with leasing the extra rooms to the general public to raise a target sum and that they would be responsible for any untoward behaviour and for vetting would-be tenants. They would collect rents and evict non-paying customers or other troublemakers. The measure was passed by council and the meeting ended. I was exhausted and sent Diane home and meant to do the same myself asap. A phone call as I was leaving stopped me. It was Tom's secretary and she was very worried about him as he looked quite ill. I rushed to his office and he was lying on the floor and it looked like a heart attack. I knelt down and held his hand while his secretary called the ambulance. To be honest, I was shitting bricks as we awaited the paramedics. The stress of the last couple of days had caused this and I knew that Tom was going to resign and I would agree with him, no job is worth dying for and he looked very sick.

It put a damper on Christmas. I don't believe in all the nonsense, which is older than Christianity, but like many religious festivals had been gobbled up and revamped by the burgeoning early church. If you look at it in any objective detail you should appreciate that most of the rituals are pagan and predate the church by thousands of years with the Holly King being killed by the Oak King as the winter gives way to spring and for the position to be reversed at the summer solstice, when the Holly King is again in the ascendant. It's all about celebrating the solstice which happens on the 21st of December.

Easter another festival the early church stole, is really a celebration of fertility, commemoration of which ensure lots of crops and livestock during the coming summer. So the Easter Bunny may have more legitimacy than palm crosses. It feels almost blasphemous to pursue this line but anyone who doesn't believe it only has to read the history of the Christian Church which is built on lies, treachery, slaughter and politics. Religion of love - tell that to the Cathars who were murdered by the then Pope and the king of France. Both made millions by confiscating money from the deposed aristocracy of mainly the Languedoc.

I followed the ambulance to the QA and was then detained in the waiting room while Tom was trolleyed off to the treatment area. I answered as many of the questions as I could to help the admin part support the doctors and nurses and others who made up the professional side of the place. It was after five and Stella would have left her clinic some while ago. I phoned her and told her what was happening. Her immediate response was to offer to come but I needed her to organise the household until I got home with help from Sara and Danni. She so wanted to come be at the hospital it took me ages to convince her that her need was at the house not here.

He was admitted and taken to ICU, they hoped just for one night. I was eventually allowed to see him and he was still rather a grey colour even though he was on oxygen. I stayed until I could hardly remain awake. Going home I nearly had a prang but just managed to brake in time. What white van man was doing at 10 o'clock at night escaped me, but I suspected he was as tired as I was, perhaps more so. I had right of way at a roundabout but he just kept coming. I stopped and he squeezed through. It certainly woke me up and I drove home very warily for the rest of my journey.

Of course, they all wanted to know how Gramps was and I could only say he was comfortable but quite ill. At least it hadn't been like Germany where that nutter drove his car into a Christmas market and killed at least five including a child. That was an act of mass murder whatever else they call it and to which there is no answer. It has been used by terrorists every so often, often in France or Germany and unless you have draconian laws protecting pedestrians at these events, which would make them less attractive and no one would go to them, or it's the price of freedom. It's Christmas and nearly always there are reports of plane crashes or mass murders or other horrible crimes. Why, who knows except the roads are possibly icy or very dark and people are not concentrating sufficiently as everyone has things to do.

But things like this mass rape trial in France has ended with all the men being found guilty, what the lady victim feels, apart from betrayal by her nearest and dearest because he liked to watch her being raped, is indescribable. I can only feel for her. It shows the misogyny of society, men have had the power for too long and have shown they are not up to the task and shouldn't women have a say in things, they form a larger number than men?

I rang the hospital before I went to bed and they described him as comfortable. I sent a text to Simon and received texts of support from him and Henry. I was almost out on my feet and went to bed only to have Stella join me to hold me while I slept because she knew I'd be worried sick. I thought it was very kind of her. She simply said, "It's what sisters are for." I couldn't argue with it and went to sleep eventually to be beset by nasty dreams much of the night, despite my companion.

Was the previous order being upset? I didn't know but I knew that I'd be in ICU visiting as soon as I could get there, that was for sure.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3465 by Angharad Copyright© 2024/2025 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~

I awoke shattered but needing to see how Tom was, he was my father-figure and had been much better at it than my birth dad. I rushed into the bathroom unaware that Stella was downstairs on the phone to ICU to ask how he was and how his night had been. I was rushing, my body still damp as I threw the towel on the bed and pulled on my clothes. Stella came in with a cuppa and told me that he was comfortable and still very much alive. I hugged her and burst into tears, the emotion finally getting to me. She just hugged me and cooed at me.

"If anything happens to him, I'm not sure what I shall do," I sort of snivelled into her shoulder.

"Well, it will happen one day," she said back to me, "But I don't think today is the day. They say he's comfortable and holding his own. So get yourself some breakfast and we'll go and see him, perhaps you can zap him with the blue stuff and he'll be out training for marathons by tea time."

I laughed at the absurdity of it, however, I did wonder why the idea of the blue light hadn't entered my head until now. I had saved him before perhaps I could do it again. I dried my eyes and went dowstairs and was bust reboiling the kettle when Danni arrived, she was dressed ready to do whatever, "How is Gramps?"

"Comfortable and holding his own."

"I've told him about that before, I hope he washes his hands afterwards." I ignored her joke and popped more toast in the machine for her to butter and eat while I made a pot of tea.

"I need you to come with me to see if we can zap him with the blue light."

"Okay, when?"

"Now, as soon as the kids are off to school. She shoved a large lump of toast in her mouth and nodded. I could hardly criticise her as she was eating quickly to come with me. I ate my toast and a banana more sedately but I had a few minutes start on her.

Sarah arrived and asked how Tom was and I repeated what Stella had told me. David came into the kitchen and asked how Tom was and I felt like a newsreader on a continuous news channel. He offered to take the children to school and after I kissed them all goodbye, Danni and I headed for ICU to see if we could help our much loved relative.

Tom tried to make me go to the university to defend my budgets and his plan for leasing university accommodation to a vetted general public. Students paid less rent but compared to private landlords, the rent we were proposing was very reasonable.

I helped him drink a cup of tea, he wasn't hungry, unsurprisingly, and then I sat on one side of him and Danni sat on the other and we tried invoking the blue light. He zonked and the machines seemed to go bonkers, causing nurses from all over to come running. The reset them all but neither Danni nor I stopped the healing. It all slowed down to a more sedate speed and I felt the energy travelling from my hands to his and Danni was smiling, so she was feeling something too.

We stopped after about an hour, during which I was feeling shattered and I thought I'd better go and check what was happening at the university. Danni and I gave his sleeping form a kiss as we left. We bumped into a non-plused consultant who was asking his nurse why an old lady he was treating was still alive, and in fact thriving. We smirked as we heard him and wondered if she picked up a bit of the blue stuff too. "But why is she still here," he asked the nurse, "she's got so much wrong with her that it would kill an elephant?" The nurse was equally confounded.

"It's obviously not her time to go," I threw at them as we left as Danni nearly fell over laughing. "We did some good then?" I asked the world.

"Looks like," said my foot-balling daughter and laughed again. "When do we need to do Gramps again?"

"Tonight, on the way home, I'll give you a lift."

She agreed and I drove to the uni where Diane was asking over the funeral arrangements for the VC. I hit the roof, "Please wait until he's dead , last I saw of him he was thinking of signing for their university football team."

"Oh well, they said he was nearly dead when the ambulance arrived."

"Well, you were misinformed. Where's my tea?" I dismissed her and she scuttled off to the kitchen to make a brew. She was back ten minutes later with a cup of tea and apologised to me for her insensitivity earlier. She had been sincere but had been misinformed by other staff including his secretary. I told her to tell her colleague of and not to jump the gun again, because if I warned her, it would be rather bloody and lead to a disciplinary. I heard a while later telling someone to be more careful and that Vice Chancellor Agnew was recovering well in hospital.

It still dominated our morning and I stopped taking calls from well-wishers/ ghouls, who wondered if they could profit from the situation. I simply left a message telling all and sundry, that he was recovering well and expected to be back within days. That shut most of them up and gave them something to think about, as Tom's position was unassailable, and therefore so was mine. I was too worried to look for dissenters, there would be time for that later and I was always a target for those who fancied themselves at usurping me.

Trish phoned half-way through the morning, "What's this I heard about Gramps?"

"He's in ICU after a heart attack, I'm sure he'd love to see you."

"Why? He's got you to look out for him and my work just keeps piling up."

"Surely you could take a day off just to visit him?" I asked her.

"May be in a week or three," she responded.

"We're at an important point in the calculations."

"This still with the ESA?"

"Yeah, still on Mars Rovers."

"I happen to think that Gramps is more important than some vanity project."

"Sorry, Mum, gotta go," and she just rang off. It seemed that Trish no longer needed us and until she did, she just ignored us. I mentioned it to Danni on the way back to the hospital, Danni just shrugged and told me she was the thinking much the same as me, we were surplus to requirements. It happened to most parents at some point, perhaps not as brusquely as Trish did it, but then that was Trish. I tried to remember the little girl who was so needy when we first met, she was very different now and I wondered if it was always going to happen or was it all my fault. I didn't know but I wasn't going to go on a guilt trip on account of it.

We parked at the hospital and I reminded Danni to clear her mind of any negatives before we saw Gramps again. "Oh, so does that mean Trish?" she asked and I blushed like a tomato. However, by the time we were in ICU again, Tom was in good spirits and told us that Stella had visited in her lunch hour and said I was naturally worried, or worrit as he put it.

I'd told him that as I had visited the university for most of the day, all sorts of rumour abounded but my trail of disinformation had them all running around in circles. He laughed at that and said, "If ye canna beat them, baffle them, eh?" I just shrugged. My first priority was making him well again, taking a few scalps was secondary and there was plenty of time to do it. I knew most of the main dissenters and always kept my blade sharp. and ready. Baffling them was all that was necessary for now, the bloodshed would come later. All I had to decide was if I was going to play, or if Tom retired, to follow suit. After all, I could still study dormice from outside the university, even if I had to buy a large swathe of countryside in Hampshire and a build a new base or convert a nice farmhouse. It wasn't the end of the world, but losing Tom would be.

"How is the project going?" I asked Danni as we left the hospital.

"Still having a problem with identifying everything, why?"

"Why is it a problem? You have all those field guides of mine or keys to identification."

"Yeah, but some of them are quite technical."

"You mean you want someone to show you how to use them?"

"Yeah, it would make things easier."

"I'll take Friday off and we'll have a session with microscopes and the books."

"What about Gramps?"

"I haven't got enough microscopes for him as well."

"No, are we going to zap him in hospital?"

"Oh, right. Let's see how he is on Thursday shall we?" And that was how we left it. I hadn't done work with keys for a long while but I knew some found them intimidating, I did when I got my first ones when I was about twelve or thirteen. They scared the pants off me as I was trying to identify invertebrates from ponds. It was Dad funnily enough who picked up one of my guides and asked me how it worked. I didn't have the guts to tell him I couldn't do it, though I suspect he'd realised this already. He told me the next Saturday he was off we'd work through one of them. I was horrified. I took one into school and begged the biology teacher to show me how to use it. I remember he laughed.

"It shows you're ready to move up the ladder with your studies, sadly not at this place, you were always ahead of them. He pulled one or two samples of beetles he had and showed me over the next hour how to use the key to identify them. It wasn't rocket science it was plodding with the need for the occasional dissection, usually of male genitalia, occasionally female ones and even more rarely other bits of the insect. I got the hang of it and Mr Pewsey, my biology teacher acquired one or two more challenging species and he would give me a bit of time after school to go through the process. He was lovely and mentored me until A levels. He told me that if I didn't panic I should do well as he thought I was up to undergrad level in much of it.

Anyway my dad was impressed as he couldn't make head nor tail of it that Saturday, so I just showed him what I'd been taught. He gave up and admitted that ecology was more scientific than he'd been led to believe. He gave me twenty quid, which paid for another guide or key and somehow for once, we were both happy. It didn't last but it was nice while it did.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3466 by Angharad Copyright© 2024/2025 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~

Tom continued to recover and they were baffled that his heart seemed to have healed itself. The consultant compared it to a scan they had done when he was first admitted. "His heart is almost normal for a sixty-nine year old, why is that? It should have large areas of fibrous tissue where it was damaged by the MI, why has that recovered, it doesn't usually?"

"Your treatment is obviously better than you thought," I offered and Danni was smirking behind him.

"Who is this woman?" he asked a nurse.

"His daughter," replied the nurse.

"How is the old lady?" I asked and Danni smirked some more.

"She's been sent to an ordinary non-surgical ward and we hope to discharge her later in the week. Why she isn't dead I don't know, she had a massive MI, her kidneys were shot and I reckon she was hours away from meeting her maker, but there you go, she's about 200% better and going home instead of to a funeral director's. Why do you ask?"

"We prayed for all that were in ICU, that's all it seems our prayers were answered."

"Indeed, though I think those who have lots of people praying for them, statistically, do less well than those who don't."

"I suppose it depends to whom you pray."

"Obviously. Most people I know worship Mammon and pray when they're counting their money."

"Is that just doctors?" I asked and Danni had to cough to hide her chuckle.

"Got something against us?" as the cardiologist.

"No, I'm actually grateful that your clever treatment has saved my dad."

"You're not taking the piss are you?"

"Me!" I exclaimed, "Not at all."

"Why is your daughter smirking?"

"She does it all the time, teenagers do, I know I have loads of them at the university."

"What, at Pompey?"

" Yeah, about a thousand last time I counted 'em, trouble is they won't stand still for us."

"Now, I know you're taking the urine."

"Professor Watts, your father was asking you to see him again before you go."

"Professor eh? Of what?"

"Biological sciences."

"You're not that dormouse woman are you?"

"I've been called worse," I replied watching Danni nearly explode trying not to laugh.

"I think most of us have. You know I quite enjoyed my time teaching at medical school."

"Hopefully, most of your students wanted to learn."

"Most yes, but not all."

"At least you didn't have born-again morons questioning everything evolutionary even though what we are trying to teach them is evidence based through molecular biology."

"You can't inform the deliberately ignorant."

"Yes, I discovered that a few years ago and since then we have the occasional dissenter most years."

"Can't you get them to fill out a form or something declaring that they accept evolution as fact?"

"Maybe, we get them to sign an acceptance of the university's policy on difference and diversity, but they still protest about certain aspects even though we send them the whole document."

"What are they complaining about?"

"Some racial issues, Palestine and Israel, gender issues, we had the TERFs protesting because we had a transwoman as post grad student."

"What are TERFs when they are at home?" he asked.

"Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists; apparently if you don't bleed you don't have a right to call yourself a woman."

"Not all women menstruate, what about those post-menopausal ladies, or those whose equipment doesn't function for whatever reason?"

"Quite."

"I can't believe in this dangerous and uncertain world, with thousands in poverty, probably millions worldwide, there are people who protest about someone who sees herself as female even though they may be originally male, what does it matter in the greater scheme of things?"

"My thoughts exactly."

"Nice to have met you, professor, if you can manage a few more prayers, I'd be grateful."

"I'll see what I can do," I smiled and went back to Daddy who wanted me to ask something of his secretary.

"If that means her sending you work, no, I won't. You've just had a myocardial infarct, you have to rest, so you're not worrying about what the mice are doing while you're away."

He pleaded for several minutes but I was adamant, in terms of the greater picture, the university could go and fuck itself, my father was by far more important to me and I expressed that to him in simple terms, he's only a professor after all, and a man to boot. He eventually gave up and I watched him slip into sleep as we left exhausted by an argument he'd have won a few days ago. He needed rest and I threw a cover of blue light over him but only Danni saw it and she smiled again.

Back at uni we went down to the labs and I left my post grad student teaching her how to use keys, or one that applies to water beetles. It was one I got years ago, by Laurie Friday but it's still very usable. I watched for a few moments when I noticed that neither had a complete idea of what they were trying to do, so I intervened and I think within an hour they had both got the hang of it, it's not rocket science and the book is an AidGap Identification Guide, so it's written in simple terms for undergraduate and keen amateur use. They are excellent guides and I have several in my collection including one on Freshwater snails Danni gave me for Christmas and with which I was very satisfied.

I told Diane I was taking Friday off to do something at home, she didn't query it, assuming it was about Tom, but Sarah, Danni and I got together in my study and we identified all the snails they had found in their tree-root hole, so we had to use both the land snail and water snail keys and even then there were one or two we weren't sure about because some of the fauna we found were terrestrial that had fallen into our newish hole, things like mites and the odd bloody snail. However, we had a useful day; both were far happier using keys and with just a minimal knowledge of invertebrate anatomy, much of which we were able to locate on the internet and print off some very useful diagrams, that way they didn't have to have to memorise so much. I told them if they did more of it, they'd soon learn their anatomy, which you don't if only using it now and again.

The other plus to our day was having David do a luxurious 'snack' meal for lunch. If I ate at home for lunch for long, I'd be well overweight, but it's so tempting and a pudding to follow, it was too much, no wonder we're all having heart attacks or becoming diabetic, we all overeat - well, most of us, I am aware of youngsters in this country who don't get enough food to eat, I suspect because their families don't have enough income, but often those who are on the breadline make poor judgements. I mulled about this while the two girls went back to their project and sent the local food-bank some extra money. I sent it anonymously so no one would know its origins by sending it through the bank who could just tell the food-bank people, that they received the money anonymously and were instructed to pay it to the Portsmouth food bank.

It was more fiddly than I had intended and I began to wonder why I bothered, but then I thought how much more my contribution would help especially in the cold spell we were having. Temperatures dropped to -18C in parts of the highlands last night, no wonder the bloody cat was so friendly when I was in bed last night; of course she hasn't got Trish to cuddle with now. I drifted off to sleep wondering how my daughter was doing up at Cambridge and was she missing Bramble at night. If Bramble missed her it was only until she got herself into my bedroom and cuddled up with my feet. They were actually warm with my feline over-blanket, so I may just allow it to happen again tonight.

Cats are quite adaptable when given a chance and while she does go out she is essentially a house-cat, especially in the cold weather, and we treat her to prevent fleas and other ectoparasites, and worm her to try and prevent endoparasites, like worms, so she's probably healthier than we are, she certainly has an easy life but then she is our pet, so we spoil her. If my door is shut she goes along the line and Danni is next, then Sarah and so on down to the children. Bramble finds herself a bed quite easily because she is quite innoccuous and tends to lie quietly once on a bed with a bit of human to keep her warm. Fur coat? Oh I see, yeah she's got one but she doesn't let her stop from keeping someone's feet warm, and once there she becomes comatose until they wake the next morning and she finds a willing slave to give her breakfast, usually me, but not always. Danni has been known to feed her and even Emily, you remember my housekeeper, who looks after all the loose ends if I have to leave early or am late getting up. When Simon is home, this all allows us the occasional late start because some of them know what it it's like to be separated from a loved one and the re-bonding rituals that occur when they come home.

We don't get as many jokes about me walking awkwardly, or bed spring jokes as we used to, perhaps they are growing up but I know they are pleased to see their dad, even if it is because he brings treasure or is it bribes for them if they comply? Sweets it used to be, now it's good ol' money - well, he is a banker. I'm not sure how much I approve because it could be storing up trouble for later. I don't want children who will only do things for rewards, as it isn't the way I was raised, nor Simon for that matter. I like to think the older children, such as Sammi and Mima aren't like it otherwise. Sammi is still running the security for the bank and helping GCHQ when she has time, and Mima has a degree in English and a master's one in History and is teaching at Southampton Uni and researching for a PhD, it seems education is in our blood, not that she is a blood relative, being foisted on us as our first foster child. We hear nothing about her real parents and assume if they are alive, that they are missing her, or her mother is, but she stopped writing very occasionally when Meems told her that it just upset her. Anyway the lies they told us and then we found they were con men, whose prey was mostly Arab or African states who were often dictatorships and who were added to the number chasing them to get their money back or retribution. I suppose it gives them something to do, if you don't mind a life built on paranoia. I know I prefer to earn an honest day's pay for one of work. We have the odd teacher who seems to think that attending during working hours is enough and to whom it hasn't occurred that they may be required to work as well. I haven't appointed any myself and the odd one has been getting away with it for years, doing just enough to hide their laziness, so now we have a procedure that requires every teacher from beginner to professor to do one lecture a year to the whole university which is scored by the students and if they don't rate highly enough, they have to do a retraining course and that is supervised by departmental professors. If they fail the course or refuse to attend, they face a disciplinary. If that's a written warning, one more strike and they are out. It's amazing how mention of termination leads to performance improvement, at least in the short term. People who have become permanently lazy tend to lapse and it is a bother to get rid of them but we tend to send them for counselling as well to try and determine why they are like it and how they can change. It can be pretty brutal but it does help them to focus and we occasionally rid ourselves of deadwood, including those who hide behind sick leave, but that's another story.

Today Simon is home for the weekend and Tom is coming home from hospital, so things look pretty good at least for a few days and that seems to be the limitation life puts on these things, but I'm not complaining for once. Bless you all.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3467 by Angharad Copyright© 2024/2025 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~

I had a call from Southampton General Hospital asking me I knew a Jemima Cameron who'd been injured in an RTA. Apparently, we were given as her next of kin, which we are. She was unconscious and the university had given our name. In ten minutes I had run to my car and it was moving when Danni jumped in, and we went off to Southampton. I think one of the last times I was here was when Perryman collapsed and tried to accuse me of childporn. He subsequently committed suicide claiming I was responsible for his death. It was proven that he had lied and I was completely innocent of all his accusations. I wasn't sorry he was dead, but I never did discover why he disliked me enough to try and implicate me in his crimes.

Like most parents I have an inherent dislike of paedophiles and anyone who hurts children, especially for their own pleasure or gratification. I tried to keep my objectivity when thinking about such things but it is very difficult and so easy to join the mob baying for blood.

"Why have you come?" I asked Danni.

"She's my sister."

"I know that but she was closer to Trish growing up."

"I know, but I'm here and Trish is off climbing up her own arse."

"No, she's doing something for the European Space Agency."

"I'm sure she could leave that for two minutes to come and see Meems."

"She obviously thinks not." I replied and Danni just rolled her eyes.

"Serve her right if the Martians vandalised her Mars rover thingies, if ever they get them there."

"Okay, they got it wrong last time, I'm sure they won't this time, besides, how do you know if there's any life on Mars?"

"Where do think all the little green men come from?"

"Have you taken your medication today?" I asked jokingly.

She replied in the negative and during the whole of our trip she amused me with all sorts of exaggerated tic and twitches, right up until I parked the car in the hospital multistorey car park, paying for two hours. It was the same rate as Portsmouth hospital and required a second mortgage.

I knew the hospital well enough to find the enquiries within a couple of minutes. We were sent to ICU. There we tried to discover what had happened. The police were involved. Meems had been walking and a car had hit and run her over and then drove off, not bothering to stop to see how she was or anything. It had been seen by a couple of young women who sent for the emergency ambulance. The police were calling in quite regularly to see how she was and if she had recovered consciousness. She hadn't when we got there. I sat next to her and started pumping in the blue stuff and Danni did something similar at her other side.

She had quite a bit of facial bruising and we saw it was improving, I hoped because our efforts. The nurses wanted to ask lots of questions but they left us in peace and the senior nurse said she had added our car to a list of those exempt from paying charges in the car park. Apparently if you have someone in ICU, you can apply for exemption, also if you have a child under treatment there, it applies. I told the nurse that she was my daughter, so did I doubly qualify. She coughed politely and turned on her heel pretending not to have heard my remark.

Meems had multiple internal injuries and a broken leg and was quite ill. However, by the time we'd finished her vitals were looking better and they no longer thought she needed a blood transfusion, though she was still on a dextrose drip and some antibiotics.

The police officer in charge called while we still there. She had no idea why anyone would try to run her down. As far as we knew she had no enemies, she was an academic, teaching history, why would someone need to kill her or was it mistaken identity?

I pointed out who we were and as a family, the copper said she knew and wondered if someone had squabbled with the bank and taken their frustration out on Meems as one of the family. She also recognised Danni and asked if she would ever get a call up from England again. Danni just said she doubted that her face fitted any longer and she wasn't holding her breath. "I was there when you did that overhead bicycle kick and scored a goal. It was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen on a football pitch. I tried to copy it but couldn't get the timing or balance right."

"Neither can I most of the time, but when it comes off it is a bit spectacular."

"A bit," said the copper, "it was out of this world."

I interrupted and asked what was happening about the assailant, were we any closer to working out who they were and why? It transpired they had found the number of the car by use of various road cameras, but the car had been reported stolen a week before. "That suggests premeditation," I offered my opinion.

"It could," agreed the young copper. She left and while Danni stayed with Meems, I rand Simon and reported what had happened. He was really upset, Meems was our first adopted child and never did a bad deed to anyone as far as we knew, so why should this happen to her? He told me he was going to asked James to investigate. I told him I tell him more when I got home and that Danni was with me. He asked to speak to Danni for a couple of minutes, then rang off. I went to sit with Meems and continue the blue energy, but Danni had finished her call and we thanked the nurse and went home having asked them to let us know if things changed. I also said we'd be back tomorrow. The nurse said goodbye to us and Danni nodded off as I drove home.

As soon as I got home and a cup of tea in front of me, I rang Trish to let her know how Meems was. She was interested but still at the university and said she'd be down as soon as she had time and that she was very busy. I was furious and told her not to bother but to spend some time deciding her priorities. She rang off while I was in mid rant. My temper was not improved by it.

This was obviously some time ago. Danni stayed in the car as I went in search of Meem's employers and to tell her she wouldn't be in for a few days if not indefinitely. I told them all the police knew and that she was as yet unconscious. They had my number in work, they had let me know in the first place. I asked them had anything happened at work to cause the assault? They knew of nothing. When I got back to the car Danni told me that a security man from the university has enquired how long we'd be and why didn't we have a sticker. She had told him the sad story of her sister's accident and he suggested drugs may be the reason. Danni told me she had told him that Meems was very anti drugs and he said that was a cause on its own. Danni suggested calling at her flat to look for clues and to gather some items of nightwear or toiletries to bring with us tomorrow. I had to admit that I hadn't thought of it myself but then I was trying to think of how we'd get into her flat. Danni reminded me that she had a key safe and the number was her date of birth. I couldn't remember that either. Good job she came.

Her flat was tidy, as I would expect, it was me who was untidy and in Tom's house although there had been quite a bit of space, I had encouraged them to clear their stuff, toys and puzzles and books to a cupboard each had by their bed. Trish had been untidy, because such things were beneath her or so she thought. The other girls showed her that she had to do the same as them or they'd repay her with the odd thump. Being thumped was more painful than keeping your stuff tidy, so she learned the hard way about families.

I rang Trish when we got home and told her what we knew which was only that she was the victim of a hit and run. The police weren't sure if it was deliberate or just poor driving. Seeing as the standard of driving was so poor, it might have been an accident. However, I was glad that Jim was going to be looking into it for us which increased the likelihood of finding the driver who did it and then we could ask them why. If it was deliberate I wasn't sure what we'd do but I know Simon would be in favour of payment in kind. I'm not sure if I would agree, probably not, but if it was drug related or organised crime, I may change my mind, though how my Meems would be involved was so unlikely. She didn't mix with that sort of person and usually she didn't even see such things. Now Trish was much more adventurous and went places she didn't ought to, so if she'd encountered such a thing it would have surprised me less. But Meems? No way unless she had changed in the last year or two, maybe she had, but I doubted it. At least I had a spare room should she come back to us as she recovered, assuming she did recover, though when healing on someone you got a feel for how ill they were and how likely they were to get better. Much of the healing was about encouraging the body to heal itself, of which it has amazing powers of recovery and immunity. I felt no negatives about Meems so I expected her to make a complete recovery. Would she be able to tell us why she was hurt remained to be seen. Accident victims often have total amnesia about the incident, so we'd have to wait. Meanwhile Danni had settled down with a large pad and was trying to list reasons why it may have happened, like drugs, revenge, something against either the family or the bank, bad driving or pure accident. Hopefully, Jim would be able to get access to police records and see if they knew anything they weren't telling us. It does happen especially if it involves somebody who's either a crime lord or someone who is important for other reasons. But then they'd have to be quite important to be of higher status that our family, some titled bankers, two professors, someone who helps GCHQ and lots of money. There must only be half a dozen who qualified for this and James should be able to find out if it was the case.

I left Danni to her musings and set to for the dinner. David was off today, though he had left me half a salmon and some watercress to make sauce for it, so at least I had some idea of what we'd be eating and put in half a dozen baking potatoes while I fiddled with fish, salads and sauces. Don't you just love such things?

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3468 by Angharad Copyright© 2024/2025 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~289 dozen~~~~~

Dinner went well, it might not have David's professionalism, but we were hungry and James arrived as I was dishing up so we all ate a little less of my cooking and more of the new baked loaf. I had to make another for breakfast, but at least we had a few hours for the machine to perform its magic. There is nothing quite like coming into the kitchen where an aroma of new baked bread fills your olfactory senses and gets the stomach juices running, expectant of pure ambrosia, well in my case, fresh bread with some cheese or ham to accompany the butter, or most mornings banana.

Last night with James here, we demolished most of a loaf. Danni ate the remnants as toast, I started the new one and James helped himself to several slices. It was like having Simon home. I have to nag the younger lot and Sarah to eat anything at all, usually cereal. They all did, no wonder we go through a packet or two and gallons of cow juice every week. At least I know they all had something and research has shown how important it is for performance at school or work. If that was the case, James should perform like Superman - the amount he ate. He disappeared shortly afterward saying something about seeing how many favours he could call in. Sara took the youngsters to school and then took herself off to uni, Danni said she was staying to help me with Meems. She had hit a bit of a hiatus with her research. She had come across some snails in her tree root hole and didn't know if they were terrestrial that had fallen in, or aquatic and how had they got there? I told her that I had FSC aidgap identification aids for both types of snail and if she worked through the keys she'd be able to discover what they were and then work out how they got there. She tried to tell me that I was better than her with doing the key thing and I replied that may be the case, but I had to learn how to use them, so why couldn't she? She told me that she had a match that weekend and had trained less than she should because she was helping me. I did point out that moral blackmail was something parents used, not their children. She complained that was unfair. I would help her if she got stuck, but she expects a degree at the end of this, so has to do some work for it, besides Sarah would help when we got back.

We arrived at the hospital and parked the car, we also got a pile of coffees as we entered and gave a couple to the nurses on ICU as we took our places at Meems' bedside and drank our own and then started zapping her. The banter we had begun with stopped as we got into our primary task and I tried to get into Meems' mind to see what she remembered of the accident. Very little was the answer. I scanned her a bit deeper to see if she'd had any trouble with anyone beforehand. That was a bit more successful except I couldn't see the face of the person with whom she argued. I thought I heard her using the name Ben but it wasn't a very strong memory and I began to think it might be of little relevance.

Her nurse was pleased that her bruising was reducing and hoped that she'd be able to have surgery on her leg in a day or two and they were satisfied that she was making progress. She told us that the unconsciousness was a very variable thing and she could come round from the coma anytime, tomorrow or next week. We got the message, they didn't know.

James had been to visit the collision site looking for evidence and surveillance cameras. There were none immediately close but he did discover a ring camera, one of these doorbell things that records motion and send it to a computer. He had to go back to see the owner but hoped it had recorded something, even if it was just the make or colour of the car involved, at least we'd then have something to pursue.

We knew it was a dark car from the girls who saw the incident and possibly some sort of sports utility thing, unfortunately most of the known world owns one. I wouldn't touch one with a bargepole, but then I have my Jaguar and that still suits me and being an estate carries as much as an SUV and probably goes faster if I want to speed, unless one has a Porsche SUV, but I had bad memories of one of those and spending a day or so in a wrecked one after I swerved to avoid a stupid deer. No wonder they get hit on the roads, they have all the awareness of a blind and deaf kitten and we all know how traffic-aware they are - a few levels above teenage males.

James came back with a smug grin, he'd managed to copy the tape of the ring camera thing and told me we were looking for a Kia. Now as they are one of the most popular makes of car these days, that's about as useful as being told it was a car that hit her. The camera records in black and white, so we still didn't know what colour it was, but it was dark. We were told that at the beginning by the girls who witnessed it. They now seemed to think it was deliberate and this we got from the police who thought the same.

James had been to the university to speak with her colleagues who though that Meems was virtually a paragon and were amazed that she had been hit by a car. They thought it must be mistaken identity as she was not the sort to engage in confrontation., or it must be an accident. We decided it wasn't. The police had been to all the garages asking about anyone wanting to repair a damaged dark colour Kia. James spoke with the police deciding not to cover old ground and visit garages the police had. Then he asked about garages who might repair the car and keep it secret for a price. He got the same names from a couple of bodywork garages who told him of a garage that may do such a job for a price. He went to check it out as surreptitiously as someone driving around in a Porsche could be.

He thought he saw something so was going back after dinner and probably midnight, when he hoped things would be quieter. It hadn't occurred to him that the garage might still be working and he called the copper in charge of the case. He agreed with James it was most unlike a garage to burn the midnight oil and sent a detective to meet with him and they could then see what was going on. Fortunately it was Detective sergeant Oliver who James vaguely knew and they chatted for a few minutes before they tried to gain access to the building.

DS Oliver banged on the door with the flat of his hand calling, "Open up, police." It went very quiet when he did, so the voices they had heard earlier went silent. He pounded the door again and again nothing. They pretended to leave and copper actually drove off going around in a big circle to park just down the road. As he did so the door creaked open and face looked about and then the door opened wider. James hid in the shadows and wasn't seen. He heard a car start up and realised too late that they were taking the damaged car somewhere else, in which case any trace of Meems, left on the part of it that hit her would be destroyed. He was just about to run into the workshop and shout at the two men when the car came reversing at speed out of the doorway and he had to jump to avoid becoming a second victim. However, DS Oliver drove his car to block them and although they hit his car, they had to stop and James and he collared them.

They were already in trouble for trying to evade arrest and damaging Oliver's car, when the car they were repairing turned out to be a dark blue Kia, the trouble seemed to deepen. They were arrested and the car was seized for forensic analysis. The two tried to say that they didn't know who owned it trying to make believe that it was a cash deal. It may have been but most garages require a name and address which could of course be checked against the licence plate. The police had it in moments. The owner was Mr Benjamin Shiner, who lived down near the university and whose occupation was listed as university lecturer. However he wasn't at home when they knocked at his door at two o'clock. His wife was and made known her displeasure, James apologised but said they were looking at a most unpleasant incident which could turn into a murder investigation if the injured person died. It wasn't likely but when you add the threat of accessory to murder to possible charges most people sing like canaries, certainly Sid and Joe the couple of garage owners did when the possible charges were told them.

Next day, James was out and about seeing what Meem's colleagues knew of Ben Shiner and Cathy was relating how things were progressing to Simon, who while they talked did a credit check on Shiner. It appeared he had money troubles and owed rather a lot to a company which was thought to be a front for money laundering and organised crime. Later, James also spoke to Simon, who was paying the bill, and breathed loudly. "Shit, that's all we need. So how is Meems involved?"

"That's what I'm paying you for, so find out," Simon was curt and rang off with James phoning DS Oliver and telling him Simon's news. Once again the exclamation of scatological involvement was repeated only this time by the detective. He knew his boss would be annoyed that they had no idea of this when they'd begun their investigation into what looked like a possible accidental hit and run but was deepening every time they looked at it and which DS Oliver said looked like a deliberate event. It appeared more so by the day.

Cathy and Danni went to the hospital and Meems was still unconscious but was reacting to external stimuli, which the nurse said was positive and a good indicator of recovery. They continued with the healing and bringing in cups of coffee from the cafe at the hospital. The nurses were really pleased to get it.

"We think we know who hit you and drove off, Meems. It was Ben Shiner who has now gone into hiding as he knows the police are looking for him. And it looks as if they found your DNA on the nearside front wing of the car. So we think we have the right man." Meems started to react to this news by moving slightly in the bed. The injured leg was strapped and awaiting her to be well enough for an operation to repair the fracture and she groan as she moved it in the bed. a nurse heard her as she did so and came to see what was going on. Cathy told her what she had said to Meems and the effect it produced, the nurse asked her to leave and sent for the doctor in charge of her case.

They were early back home and Cathy was considering going into the office when Danni shot off to Bournemouth for a training session but unsure if she wanted to play that weekend, except she knew that she was paid to do so therefore giving her whole attention to it, so much so that she didn't see the figure hiding in the bushes by Cathy's car at the house.