The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3301 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####
I sat red eyed and anxious sipping the cuppa Stella had made, she'd also answered the phone when Simon had called to find out what was so important. He was here within ten minutes and we hugged, me sobbing all over him.

"What happened?" he asked still holding me.

"Trish, Livvie and Han asked if they could go to the hotel for a swim. As there were three of them, I thought they'd be okay, looks like I was wrong." I began to weep again, tears running down my cheeks and on to Simon's shirt.

"Have you called the police?"

"They said not to."

"Sod that, we need to call them." He picked up the phone.

"Simon, the man threatened to feed them back to me in pieces if we involved the police."

"They could anyway, c'mon we have to call them."

I knew he was right but I was still frightened in case it caused the kidnappers to do something awful to one of my girls. If they so much as breathe on them, I shall exact an awful price.

"Here, phone Dad, after that call Jim. I want these bastards found and destroyed."

"You can't kill them, Si," I protested weakly because I felt the same as him.

"Watch me."

"Doesn't that make you as bad as them?" I asked almost rhetorically.

"I'm far worse than anything they could imagine, and I'm an amateur compared to you." I winced at his response but it was true, I have killed and in defence of my children would do so again.

Stella took the phone from me and called Henry while Simon asked to speak to the most senior officer available. I could only hear part of the conversation and he was getting rather angry at the person on the switchboard, but they have a protocol to go through. He didn't agree and in the end asked for her name because he was going to get her sacked. I took the phone off him, and spoke to the equally angry woman on the other end.

"Look, we have an emergency situation here and we urgently need to speak to someone as high up as possible."

"I can't help you if you don't tell me what it's about."

"Is abduction of three children urgent enough for you?"

"What? Someone has abducted three of your children?"

"Look stop repeating things back to me and let me speak with a senior officer, now, if you don't mind."

"Can I take some details please?"

"You are wasting time."

"I'm sorry, it's what we have to do."

"Forget it, I'll call the Home Secretary, she'll be informed anyway." I clicked off and rang Andy Bond, thankfully he was on duty. I cut through the niceties and told him what had happened. He immediately put me through to the Superintendent on duty, he took very few details and said he'd be over with colleagues very quickly.

About fifteen minutes later, a large uniformed police officer followed by a man and woman also in police uniforms came to the front door. He asked to put a trace on the phones and we immediately agreed, he nodded at one of his assistants and they walked off talking into their mobiles. A car was also despatched to the hotel to speak to staff and to look for any cameras that may be in use in that area of Southsea.

Another assistant went off to speak to a colleague to access the council and police cameras all around that area and the bus stops. Things were happening fast, I hoped the trail wasn't too cold already and I cursed myself for not calling the police immediately following the kidnapper's call.

"Jim's on his way," said Simon quietly, "and Dad has contacted the Home Office."

Tom, who'd been out to feed the dormice wondered what on earth was going on when he came home and found police everywhere, in fact he had to explain who he was before they let him near the house.

The Superintendent's phone pinged and he walked away to take the call. He came back looking very red faced, "That was the crime commissioner, and the Home Office have been on to him, just what is going on?"

"That's probably my father in law."

"Look we're doing all we can Mrs Cameron, I can see you're well off which is probably why they were taken."

"My pa-in-law is Viscount Stanebury."

"And?"

"He's chairman of High Street Bank and Stanebury Merchant Banks. He's a billionaire and has lots of powerful friends. He's just trying to help."

I watched the redness in the policeman's face pale and his eyes seemed to grow larger. "So you're Lady Cameron?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so."

"That Lady Cameron?" he clarified.

"The pension killer, yes."

"Okay," he said through his teeth, "not that it changes anything, we have procedures to follow whether you're royalty or a homeless bum."

"Do you actually believe that?" I asked him knowing full well that we'd get much more attention than some unfortunate living in a shop doorway.

He gave me an old fashioned look, "I'd like to, but yeah, you're right, to them who have shall be given even more."

"If it's any consolation, Superintendent Gibbons, I actually agree with you in principle but where my children are concerned, if we have to spend billions to get them back safe and to convict those who took them, then I will."

"At least you're not talking about calling in MI5 yet."

"I expect Henry has already done that. The people who have done this cannot possibly understand what they have started."

"No, I doubt they have - they're dead men walking, aren't they?"

I gave him a pained smile, "If they harm any part of them, I wouldn't like to be their life insurers."

"Please stay within the law, Lady Cameron, we'll do all we can to recover your children safe and well, please don't make me have to investigate you if bodies start floating in the Solent."

"I have no intention of harming anyone, Superintendent, but I won't give them a second opportunity."

"Neither will we." He looked out the window and large Audi appeared in the drive and out got two men in suits. "The men from the ministry are here."

They turned out to be from Special Investigations - Serious Crimes Division and I spoke quietly to our Superintendent who agreed they were MI5, obviously High Street Bank is quite important. I just felt sick for the children, because we're wealthy, or Henry is, our children could be at risk and they may not be able to live an ordinary life, doing ordinary things - and this on top of having a high rate of GID amongst them.

Danielle would always be slightly at risk because she is more in the public eye and in playing soccer at the highest level could be a target because it was thought she earned lots or again because she was a Cameron daughter. Sammi, Phoebe and Julie were established in their own homes and possibly overlooked because of it. Jacquie had signed up to do a PGCE to train as a teacher, she was always going to get her degree so the university she was going to train at accepted her on condition she got a 2:2 or better. She got a 2:1. She was going to attend a university in Cardiff from October and I felt she was moving towards leaving the nest and getting on with her life. I had spoken to her about it and reminded her that she was always welcome to call our home her home and to stay as long or whenever she wanted to. We had a few tears and a nice hug but she admitted she wanted her own life away from the high profile Camerons. I understood very much how she felt.

The police and MI5 were talking to Simon, perhaps leaving me out of it because i was the mother involved and one of those hysterical female types. Another woman police officer arrived and explained she was the family liaison officer. I won't say what I thought, but I did not feel at all welcoming and I don't need police under my feet if I have to move quickly. I know, I shouldn't be thinking like that, but I usually manage to deal with these situations by myself or with some back up from Jim or Simon.

I left Stella making WPC Beatrice Strong a cuppa while I went off and sent a quick text to Jim advising him that the police were here in droves. He replied that he explain he was here to advise on bodyguard and abduction prevention policies. I felt like telling him that horse had bolted, so closing the stable doors may be a waste of time. I think he was wanting to help because he knew the girls, especially Trish and Livvie.

Once I finished with him, my mind returned to the emptiness of missing my children. I was about to return to the sitting room when my mobile rang with it announcing it was Trish's phone. My stomach flipped but I answered it hoping it wasn't the kidnappers saying they were going to hurt the girls because I'd called the police.

"Hello?" I said aware my voice wasn't as strong as usual.

"Hi, Mummy, can you come and get us we're outside M&S."

"You're free?" I gasped.

"Yeah, I pointed out you kill them all and my dad would cancel their mortgages. They decided it was better to let us go."

"Go inside the shop, stay together, the police will come and collect you, don't go with anyone who isn't wearing a police uniform."

"What if they're plain clothes?" Trish does like to split hairs.

"They'll be in uniform."

"Oh, okay. Can we go and get a drink?"

"No stay by the door and stay together." I rushed and interrupted the meeting and told them all that the girls were in M&S. Two minutes later a marked police car screamed out of the drive to collect them.

I simply said a thank you to the superintendent.

"I hate to ask this, but it couldn't have been a bit of a prank, could it. I know that teenage girls can be awful hoaxers."

"I don't think so, Trish told me that she had explained who we were and that it would be in their own interests to release them because the consequences could be life changing."

"She's how old?"

"At five she negotiated with a county court judge to be adopted by us."

"She's adopted?"

"They all are, we can't have children."

"I'm sorry, you look like you'd have been good parents."

"I thought we try our best but today has proved we aren't good enough. I just wanted them to have the same freedom as other young teens."

"Poor little rich kids, can't say it's ever been a problem before. I still can't get over a thirteen year old negotiating their release."

"She has an IQ off the scale and the confidence to match. You'll believe it when you see her, just keep off quantum theory."

"I read a book on that recently, by that bloke on telly, Jim somebody."

"Jim Al Kalili?"

"That's the fellah, very clever."

"He is but Trish likes Brian Cox, he looks a bit more trendy."

"Oh yeah, I've seen him on the box too, another clever dick."

"Indeed, but I suspect Trish is just as clever but less experienced. Come back in twenty years after she's been to Cambridge. She's been offered a place there already."

"What, at thirteen?"

"Actually, she was about eleven, but I wouldn't let her go as she wasn't mature enough to cope with classes of people ten years older than her."

"I really am looking forward to meeting her, ah, here they come," he said seeing the police car come rushing up the drive.

"Just don't mention Schrodinger."

Why don't they ever listen? He spent half an hour being turned inside out and upside down by Trish. He also made the mistake of telling her he didn't think she would be capable of negotiating their release. She replied that her sisters had helped but that she had been the main negotiator and she'd learned what to say listening to Simon and I talking to people. "Daddy, works for the bank and is always negotiating something or other and Mummy is a super professor at the university and is always trying to get funding for research and if they'd used her for Brexit, the EU would have surrendered by day two and we'd have go everything we wanted, except her mummy wouldn't have done anything to help Brexit because she was very strongly against it." At this point, I made myself scarce and disappeared to my study with a cuppa while Trish and the copper played mind games with each other and were probably enjoying it. I was just happy to have them home, safe and well.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3302 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####
I was in my study re-reading The Emerald Planet by David Beerling, which is about the ways in which plants have influenced this planet, such as atmospherics and climate and as we all know now, global heating, which is getting worse since we chopped down so many of our forests. Without green plants and photosynthesis we wouldn't be here because as medium sized mammals we need lots of oxygen to keep our metabolisms going and oxygen is only here because green plants produce it as a waste product of photosynthesis. It's approximately 20 or 21% of the air we breathe but it once went as high as 30%, which was when we had giant dragonflies and other huge insects. It would have been wonderful to see them but I suspect we'd have died from oxygen poisoning as we evolved to breathe at the current level. So too much of anything isn't generally good for us, but I'm not including chocolate in that evaluation, so help yourself.

"Mummy, the superintendent is leaving," said Trish followed closely by the aforementioned plod. Simon also was visible behind them.

"Is there anything we have to do?" I asked our senior policeman.

"Bring the three of them down the central police headquarters to look at some photos. Your girls have all given descriptions of the abductors so we have something to go on, but first thing tomorrow at the latest if you could."

"We will indeed."

"I am really impressed with your children, they really are like natural siblings yet you say they're all adopted?"

"They decided while we were fostering them that they would become each other's sisters and they've made it work, they are special, even though I say so myself, and I love them as much as I could any natural children."

"I'm sure, but apart from their intelligence, they seem unaffected by the wealth you have, or your family has, Trish even insisted on showing me the picture of your castle. I didn't believe her at first so she called it up her phone."

I smiled, he was getting the real treatment from her today.

"She also explained about proton tunnelling, which I must admit I didn't get with the Jim bloke on the telly."

I blushed a little at this, she was showing off, but then he had said he didn't believe she was clever enough to frighten off the kidnappers. "Good job you didn't mention orbital resonance, you'd have got a longer lecture on that," I warned him, I saw Trish's eyes flash and I hoped my glower stopped it in its tracks.

"Orbital resonance?" he said.

"It's astronomy."

"Is that what you teach at the university?"

"No, I'm a biologist."

"So none of these want to follow in your footsteps?"

"Not really, possibly one of the older girls, Danielle, she's quite interested in the biosciences but she's not here today, she's playing football at Reading."

"Oh, for who?"

"She plays for Reading Ladies."

"What as in Women's Premiere League?"

"Yes, she's also an England international."

"Wow, so is she much older than these three?"

"She's sixteen."

"Jeezuz, Mary and Joseph," he exclaimed adding, "sixteen and she's an international."

"She is as talented with a football as Trish is at Physics and Maths."

"Are all your kids superheroes?"

"Super heroines, pullease," quipped Trish from behind.

"I stand corrected," said the copper blushing and smiling, showing he could multitask.

"That's a high risk occurrence in this house, I'm afraid and can happen to anyone who says something that's not one hundred per cent correct."

"Okay, perhaps I'd better go before I say anything else that isn't exactly right. We'll expect you with your three daughters tomorrow morning."

We shook hands and on the whole he seemed a nice enough man but then things turned out to be better than we at first expected and I still wasn't sure he entirely believed Trish. The fact that she was very clever may have increased the risk he thought it was a hoax perpetrated by three bored little rich kids. Part of me wasn't entirely sure it wasn't as well. I hope he frightened the bejabers out of them if it was one, because I'm not sure I could and we couldn't let them get away with it because of the precedent it would set. Once things settled down, I would have a quiet word with all three of them and at length with Trish.

It was after dinner, Danielle had come home and Simon was on about finding someone to drive her who was trained to drive defensively and who also would be able to fight people off, if they were attacked. Danielle couldn't take what the girls said happened seriously, she thought it was a gag and at the same time knew it wasn't a funny one.

"You know if they spot you're lying, you could end up in an institution, I'd talk to Jacquie about those if you want to know how bad they are, they'd make the home seem like a piece of cake."

"It happened, we were walking to the bus stop and this man asked what the time was and the next minute this van pulls up and he grabbed Livvie and Han and threw them into the van and the other man grabbed me to stop me running away and I got thrown into the van as well."

"So where are the bruises?"

"What bruises?"

"If some bloke grabbed me, I'd fight like hell so he'd either have to hit me or grab me hard and I'd have bruises. If I got thrown in a van, I'd have bruises from where I hit the deck of the van. Where are yours?"

"So, he threw me gently into the van."

"What about you two?" Danni asked Livvie and Hannah.

"You'd better tell her, Trish," said Hannah.

"Tell me it was a big con - yeah?"

"Mummy wasn't supposed to tell the police."

"So you frightened her half to death instead - what are you a bloody idiot?"

Trish started to cry and looked down at her feet.

"You'd better tell her and hope if she doesn't kill you on the spot, and that she talks the police out of putting you away, that was some stupid prank and I tell you what, if you ever do anything like this again, if she doesn't kill you, I will.

They were all unaware that I'd heard the whole thing through the crack in the door. I hadn't asked Danni to do anything but she had confirmed my worst fears, three clever and bored little rich kids had decided to play games with us.

How I didn't explode all over them, I'll never know, I was so angry but instead of shouting and ranting I kept incredibly calm and told them we were going straight to the police headquarters and they were going to confess for wasting police time.

"But you weren't supposed to call the police."

"Are you stupid? Some strange voice tells me they've kidnapped my children and not to call the police, of course I'm going to call the police, they may be the only hope I have of getting you back. You wasted hours of several officers time and made me look a fool. If they send you down, it will serve you right, you stupid little girls. Once they let you go and send you back here, I am going to confiscate everything that that gives you pleasure, for what you put everyone through here. What you did was unforgiveable."

I called the police and spoke to the senior officer in charge and a little while later I received a call from the superintendent. Half an hour later, three very frightened teens were trembling in an interview room and sniffing back the tears. They had been fingerprinted and photographed like criminals.

After that, the interview was recorded as the three of them spoke in wavering voices punctuated with sniffs and sobs as the very large police superintendent wiped the floor with them. I was all for locking them up overnight in one of the cells but he told me to take them home however, he would have to make a report to the Director of Public Prosecutions to see what happened next and to be prepared to attend a magistrates court early the next day, which was a Sunday.

I took them home and sent them to bed, they had their ipads, ipods and iphones confiscated and the computers were locked, I'd called Sammi and she told me how to lock the computers so even Trish couldn't get in, but that I could unlock them for any schoolwork. That wouldn't be for two more weeks. I know they spent a very uncomfortable night but they had to be punished. I knew it wouldn't go any further but they would get another roasting tomorrow from the police and then be released providing they didn't do so much as step on the crack in a pavement. It may seem cruel, but they had to learn that actions have consequences. Had we all not made such a good impression on the superintendent, he could have really referred them to a juvenile court and they could have ended up with blemishes on their records.

I spoke to Toby, later that night and he said he'd have words with the powers that be and point out that Trish had helped solve a number of crimes or assisted in doing so and that she had never done any such things before and wouldn't do so again. I thanked him and invited him to dinner the next week. He had to decline because he was going on holiday in a couple of days, ten days in North Wales hill walking. Sounded good except with so many people staying in this country for a holiday to avoid needing Covid tests and so on, it was going to be very difficult to get away from crowds. It was shown after a recent surfing festival in Cornwall that Covid cases rose fivefold in the Newquay area and the experts are predicting a surge when the schools go back. A couple more weeks and we have to decide at the university if we open or keep to Zoom lectures. Bloody Covid, bloody Chinese, why do I feel like I'm the only adult in a world full of children. Then I think about what is happening in Afghanistan and remember how fortunate I am. It wasn't only the girls who slept fitfully that night.

On the Sunday morning I made them all shower and Simon and I took them as if to go to the magistrates court but we ended up back at the police station. A different officer pointed out all the things her officers could have been doing but didn't because they thought they were dealing with a multiple kidnap. She told them people may have died because police officers were taken off what they were doing to start looking for the girls.

Si and I endured an hour of purgatory while this woman chief inspector very calmly and coldly peeled the girls egos apart and showed them how stupid they were, their bags were certainly packed for a guilt trip and she took them on one. In the end, the superintendent came back flourishing a file full of papers and said it was the case he'd had to argue against the DPP to stop them being prosecuted. They all thanked him and he told them to leave and said loudly, "If any of you three ever end up back in here on a possible charge, all this will be raised again and you'll be doubly prosecuted, got it?"

They all said they did and almost ran out of the building. I thanked him for frightening them enough to stop them even thinking about such a stupid prank again. He told me if that was the result it was worth it. Simon offered him a case of his favourite tipple but he declined as it could appear he'd favoured us and he hadn't; well he had, but only because he was impressed with our family and even with the naughty girls. He'd added that he'd looked up orbital resonance and was none the wiser. I smiled and we left after shaking hands.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3303 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####

The week after the hoax kidnap, the three girls were grumpy and itching for their electronic toys which I told them firmly they couldn't have. I intended to keep it up for at least a month if not longer, mind you Danni waggling her phone around didn't help keep the peace and she and Trish almost came to blows. I suspect Danielle would have won such an encounter but I wasn't sure and besides I didn't believe girls should by slinging punches at each other.

I intervened and spoke to each separately, including asking Danni not to stir things up, no matter how much she was enjoying what she doing to Trish, the other two were less so as they didn't have the history that Trish and Danielle shared, their time at the home and since. Meems was a good peacekeeper as well and she tended to help keep them apart while I was at work. Yes, work which I have to do when not on holiday and also at my pay grade, I tend to be on call, even sometimes when on holiday.

Being the Vice Chancellor, Daddy, tends not to interfere in my decision making, though will give advice if I request it. He took the three miscreants under his wing when he had a few days off and he had them helping him rebuild his greenhouse. For this, they were allowed to use pens and paper not computers, so instead of taking moments they had to measure everything by hand and use rulers and other drawing instruments to get angles correct and so on. Besides that he wanted to add a few other features like maximizing light but not enough to burn the plants, he had tolerances he thought applied to the plants he was going to grow.

The actual building was going to be done by one of Maureen's people, a carpenter who could also glaze it, although it would be made of aluminium, he had considered hardwood, but felt it was too environmentally unfriendly and Trish also agreed that was true. Each day, Daddy would slightly modify the specification and at times the girls had difficulty holding their tongues. He was deliberately winding them up with the intention that they might understand just a fraction of the worry and frustration they put me through with their stupid prank. I wasn't sure what I felt about it, they weren't allowed to discuss it with me because, he was supposed to be building it as a surprise for me so I wasn't supposed to know about it.

When they went back to school, after Maureen's carpenter had built it, well, he assembled it, a contractor actually made all the parts, and they were quite impressed with the plans and measurements which they did check on a computer. When it was built and I could feign my surprise, it was more genuine than I expected, it was very different and had different sections for growing different things, it was also larger than I anticipated. Trish and Livvie had worked really hard while Hannah did much of the measurements and also gave her opinion on what I would think, so effectively she added the aesthetic element to the design, which I'd have thought Livvie would have done, but I was wrong.

When we spoke afterwards, they had all three enjoyed the challenge and even though Gramps had kept messing them around with the dimensions, which had annoyed them, they still enjoyed the challenge once they had calmed down. They had also enjoyed working with him, so I hoped they had learnt something, but only time will show that. They had stopped asking for their toys and as they had the use of computers at school, I knew they could do their necessary homework, we just arranged to collect them an hour later and they did their homework in school, a bit like prep used to be in prep schools.

If they continued behaving, they'd have their toys returned after a month, they would also be allowed some other treats instead of being confined to the house or garden. On another occasion, I took Trish in with me because we had a problem with the computer system, which with Sammi's help, she managed to correct, the usual IT tech was on holiday, and those were all over the place thanks to Covid.

It was the next weekend when Simon came home with Danni, Reading had been playing Arsenal Ladies or some such team, and over dinner she challenged him to do something after he said how sad he felt for the refugees in Afghanistan.

"Like what?" he asked her.

"You've got a castle, why not let it out for refugees?" She was just winding him up but it obviously affected him. He went off to my study and an hour later called her. They both emerged after a quite a while smiling and he had his arm round her shoulder and she had hers around his waist, like fathers and daughters do.

They looked to each other to say something and he prompted her to speak. She blushed although she was only speaking to Stella, Daddy, David and me. "We - um - that is, Daddy and me, decided we would help provide accommodation for some refugees on the estate. We didn't want to upset any of the local people who work there so we arranged with the Estate Manager to renovate two cottages which were a bit beyond and they will be offered to the Scottish government to allocate to refugees, we only specified that we wanted those escaping from a war zone, but as there are several of those, we didn't specify which one."

We all applauded which brought the other girls out to see what was happening and they all agreed it was a good idea. Simon also said he might be able to offer some work on the estate to some of them if they could arrange permits.

It still meant we had a castle which was usually empty remaining so, but at least he had arranged to do something and given the antiques and art in the castle, it may be just as well that we didn't have strangers going in there and this applied to locals as well as refugees. They did allow it to be used for weddings and receptions, though they could also hire the estate kirk, but because of the pandemic, demand had been very slow and infrequent.

At one point Julie and Phoebe were talking about going up there for a few days but then decided they wouldn't bother and stayed home instead. As there was an upsurge in the Covid delta variant after a festival in Cornwall, they may well have been wise to postpone their visit, though Simon had said they could and I knew that the staff up there would have looked after them.

I was tempted to take a flight up to Scotland to check on my woodland, then thought better of it and instead did a Zoom interview with the person from the local university who was looking after it for us. They were doing projects on red deer and red squirrels.

We, as a university were still captive breeding dormice and doing things with them relating to their adaptation to being released in the wild. So far we had masses of data as the dormice were watched by webcams and radio tracked as well as having been pit-tagged and we had readers on the places we offered them food and also on some nest boxes in the nearby woodland. That is all expensive equipment and I was pleased we could get a grant for it. We had also got some grants for research at the woodland our visitor centre was in, so Dan was delighted he could do something with some of our students on woodland ecology.

One night when I got back a bit early from the office I decided I wanted a bike ride to unwind, Diane and I had been sweating our socks off trying to get a research grant for one of our palaeontologists to go to China and we had just about cracked it. Of course, once they saw me changing into cycling kit, they all wanted to come. It wasn't exactly what I'd wanted, but that's the fun of being a parent. After pumping up goodness knows how many tyres, which Danni helped with - she was there as well - I set off with what looked like a peloton from a junior women's road race.

We did about ten miles before we got back and then it was showers all round, change and come down for dinner, which David was just putting the finishing touches to, it smelt absolutely divine and after a shitty day and bit of exercise I was ready to indulge my body in something of a pleasurable nature - eating.

The meal was delicious roast pork with crackling, apple sauce, loads of vegetables and new potatoes with a couple of roast spuds each as well. David stayed to eat with us but Simon was up in town and grumbling he had to go to some bankers' dinner, so would have to wear a DJ and bow tie. He actually looks really good in one but he hates wearing it. After we'd finished clearing up, which was all hands to the pumps except Daddy who stole off to his study to take a wee nip o' single malt, I went off to my study to check my personal emails,

Settling down with my cuppa while the PC booted up and full of roast piggy-wig, I felt quite relaxed, which was a state that changed a few moments later when second on the list after a spam email asking if I wanted any pharmaceutical help with my erectile dysfunction - no thank you, I offered as I deleted it, when I saw an email from Janice on a Gmail address. Only one Janice came to mind and I felt a cold shudder down my back.I opened it with some trepidation.

'Dear Cathy,

I hope you don't mind the familiarity, but I've managed to find a moment to ask after Jemima and the rest of you, I know you have several children. I hope you are all well and surviving the pandemic, sadly Laurie succumbed to a bad bout but he's much better now since we got bail and shall we say, made good our escape.

I'd be so grateful if you could let me know how you all are and especially our shared daughter. She probably hates me for abandoning her, but I knew you'd be able to give her a life better than anything we could and I know she's genuinely fond of you. If you could also include a photo, that would be wonderful.

Give her my love,

Janice.'

It was only a short note but I knew it was going to upset Meems and I really didn't know what to do for the best. Honesty meant I had to tell her about it and possibly let her read it, I could always write back and say she didn't want to speak with her without telling Meems or I could just delete it and block any future contact from that email address.

It had been such a nice evening with the bike ride and that gorgeous meal that David had cooked us and then this. I suppose life is like that, seems to set us up for the sucker punch which floors us. It felt as if I was still lying on the floor shocked by it and my brain simply didn't want to think about a solution. Plus, who else should I involve with it, I can't talk to any of the girls until I've spoken with Mima, so I can only talk to Stella or Daddy because Simon is out at that dinner thing. I tried to think of him in his tuxedo looking suave and wondering what he'd say about it. Knowing him, typical bloke, he'd say, do what you think is best. In fact, I could almost hear him saying it. Stella might be a better bet but she said she was going to bed early as she had an early shift tomorrow. Oh poo, what shall I do?

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3304 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####
Thinking about the email from Janice didn't help my sleep. I tried calling Simon's mobile but he was switched off, or his phone was, he might have been as well, helped by large quantities of fermented grapes. I tried to imagine any scenario that could happen tomorrow when I dealt with the email, as I would. What was uncertain was the how I would deal with it.

I knew the morning would be difficult, with what seemed like only minutes of sleep, it felt awful as well as difficult. I sat with the girls who noticed I was bleary eyed. "Why don't you go back to bed, Mummy?" suggested Mima. Oh how I wished life was that simple.

"I have a few things to do, but let's get some breakfast first shall we?" I toasted what felt like half a loaf of bread and eventually got to eat a couple of pieces along with some squashed banana - well I like it. I asked the girls what they were doing and Trish and Livvie were off to a football match, a friendly with a neighbouring convent school, so it would probably be a blood bath. It was at St Claire's, so I said I'd come and watch some of it as soon as I dealt with something. David agreed to take them and Cate and Lizzie were playing with Hannah, who had devised some sort of ball game for them, so they went off up the garden.

"Could you give me a hand, Meems?" I asked my remaining daughter, who was almost on the verge of going to watch the footie. She shrugged and nodded. I made us both a fresh cuppa and she followed me into the study, as we did so, the two soccer players called, 'goodbye' and I wondered what they'd probably left behind, they always forget something. Danni was still in bed, she'd be off to Reading again in an hour, so I needed to get her up but first, this wretched email.

"What d'you want me to do, Mummy?" asked Meems as we entered the study.

"Give me a second," I said booting up my laptop, two minutes later I was opening my emails. I had three new ones but there in black and white was the one from Janice. I decided to grasp the nettle. "Have a look at this," I told Meems, opening up the email.

She seemed not to notice who it was from until she was half way through it. "What does she want?" she asked, a hint of anger in her voice.

"She tells you." I said sipping my tea hoping the caffeine would help wake my brain up.

"How dare she? What does she care, she gave me away, the bitch?"

It was more complicated than that, but a twelve year old wouldn't dwell on the fine detail any more than the three year old she abandoned would. "Are you not happy here with us?" I asked trying an oblique entry to the conundrum.

"Yeah, it's all right, why?" Adolescent understatement or what?

"Would you have been any happier with Janice and Laurie?"

"You know I wouldn't, so why ask?"

"I just wanted to get something straight in my own mind, that's all."

"What?" she asked looking more puzzled than angry for the moment.

"Well, I believe that Janice did us both a tremendous favour. I wanted a little girl to spoil and you needed someone to spoil you and get you mobilised again."

"Yeah, so?"

"Do you remember how you were when you first came here?"

"What d'you want, thanks?" she said laconically.

Her response threw me for a moment, "No of course not, we all know I did nothing, it was my magic red shoes, which also worked for Trish, if you recall?"

"Yeah, course I do, but what's that got to do with her?"

"I believe Janice left you with me for your own safety and I hope because she knew you would be loved here."

"We've done all this before, Mummy, what's it got to do with now, you're my mother all official, so what does she want?"

I offered her a hug and she took it, "I'm happy here with you and the others, and Daddy and Gramps. I know you all love me and I love you all. I don't believe you'd ever give me away - would you?" I felt the wet from her tears on my shoulder.

"No, my baby, I'd never give you away."

"So how could she? She chose my dad over me, didn't she?"

"It can't have been easy for her..." I felt tears in my own eyes. "Mother's don't just give their children away, unless they feel they have to."

"What like the women in Afghanistan throwing their babies to British soldiers over the fence, to bring them here for safety?"

"That's an extreme case, but yes that sort of thing because the Taliban may kill them and their babies. Perhaps, Janice thought she was in a similar situation."

"How? She could have stayed here and kept me." The tears were now making my top wet.

"Is that what you'd have liked to happen?"

"God, no," she said, "Life with you is far better than anything she could have given me and I have a proper daddy who loves me too and so does Gramps and all the others. She couldn't have given me all that, she and my birth father are con merchants or gun runners or something like that. I don't want anything more to do with them. You are my mother and Daddy is my father, all legal, they can't take me back so why don't they just piss off and leave us alone? Why do I have to have this happen?"

"I know if I lost you to someone else, I'd want to know you were okay."

"But you're not going to lose me, are you? You're not giving me back to that woman?" She began to get really upset.

"Woss goin' on?" asked a sleepy Danni, "You all right, Meems?"

"Go and get some breakfast, darling, you've got the car coming in half an hour." I didn't need anyone else here.

"What's wrong with my sister?"

"Nothing, now go and get yourself sorted," I glared and Danielle eventually got the message. I realised then, that I should have shut the study door.

"Please believe me, I am not giving you away to anyone. All Janice is asking for is to hear that you are well and to beg a photo. Now I can tell her you got all upset or I can tell her that you're doing really well in school, that your speech is now normal and we send her a photo, I've got some I took the other week, how about you choose which one. I'll even let you vet the email before I send it if you like, or would you like to write it?"

"What, tell her to piss off?"

"Would that make you feel any better if you did?"

"Not really."

"I happen to think she made the wrong choice, but it favoured me and I like to think, you as well. It also helped Trish when she came, that you were here already and helped her to settle in."

"Yes, I did, didn't I?"

"You did, you actually helped her to become a girl."

"No, she was a girl when we first met."

"She was dressing as one and calling herself a girl, but you helped her to become one, she had a real sister she could learn from and she could feel safe with. You helped Trish a great deal, she'll have forgotten now, but I was there too, you know and I saw it."

"I thought all I did was talk too loud and frighten people, especially with my lisps."

"Trish never had any trouble understanding you and neither did we, once we got used to you."

"God, it must have been awful, trying to understand me, I know girls in school used to tease me and Trish got into a fight once about it."

"If I recall, you got into a fight once for her, too."

"Fancy you remembering that," she'd stopped weeping and we were talking normally though she was still in my embrace.

"I'm your mother, Mima, it's what we do."

"Yeah, so is she, so how come she doesn't. Oh, send her a photo, and tell her what you like, but you're the only one I shall ever call mother, and she'll never get me back again."

"No she won't, but I think it would show that you are more mature than she is if you can forgive her and move on."

"Forgive her? Why?"

"Because it's better for you if you can."

"Better for her you mean?" she didn't sound convinced by my argument.

"Things would only be slightly better for her to hear from you, remember, she has lost you, the most precious thing in her life and she carried you around in her womb for nine months, gave birth to you..."

"And then chose my dad over me, she can go whistle. Can I go now?" I released her and she wiped her eyes and left me sitting in my study feeling very upset. I knew there would be no winners in this scenario, what I wanted was for there to be no losers. I don't know if I pulled it off or not. I'd go and sort myself out and change to go to the football match once I'd checked on Hannah and her sisters, sounds like a good title for a book or a film.

Meems and I eventually got to the football after chasing Danni to get ready for her trip to Reading, she was only just ready when the car came for her. Then as expected, Trish had forgotten her clean knickers for after the showers, Livvie had hers and they still share a bedroom, so how could one remember and t'other forget? I give up. That was the only text, so I grabbed some from her chest of drawers and we set off for the school.

It was half time and General Trish was marshalling her forces, standing in the centre of the circle laying down the law to her teammates. It was supposed to be a friendly, but St Claires were five one up and each team had lost someone to injury, so were down to ten-a-side. Livvie spotted us first and came to say hello before her sister followed suit a few minutes later.

"I've brought what you asked me," I said to Trish who thanked me, "I hope you haven't forgotten anything else because I haven't brought it." She looked at me for a moment, roared with laughter and went back to the restart of the game. "Did I miss something?" I asked Mima.

"If you did, so did I, remember it's Trish we're talking about, she doesn't operate on the same plane as us ordinary girls."

"No, that's a fact," I agreed.

"Six one," said Mima, that's four to Trish and one to Livvie and one to someone else."

"Just as well Danielle wasn't playing, it would probably be ten goals to one," I speculated.

"In each half," qualified Meems, "Danielle would beat both of these teams together by a margin of half a dozen.

"She is on another level," I admitted.

"Another level, this lot are in the basement and she's in the penthouse sort of level," said Mima dismissively.

"Well Trish is quite good," I tried to counter.

"For a schoolgirl, Danni is like Ronaldo compared to her and the rest of them. She's on another planet."

Despite Meems considering them inadequate, St Claire's won by nine goals to one, Trish got another two and Livvie one more as well. Trish was disgusted they couldn't get the tenth goal but the other side worked really hard to prevent it. Had they played with such dedication earlier, they may have saved a few more goals. We stopped for an ice cream on the way home and then it was lunch time. David had done us a chicken salad with new potatoes dripping with butter. I ate too much but I was putting off dealing with the email to Janice.

Eventually, I picked up the courage and was just sorting a photo to send her when Mima came in. "I'll help you write it, if that's okay?"

"Of course it is, in fact, it would be very good." I smiled at her and she blushed. She sat down at my laptop and began typing I stood behind her and watched what she wrote.

'Dear Janice,
Cathy is my mother now, I'm adopted, as is Trish. I'm really happy living with my family, I have great parents and brill sisters and I'm really glad you left me with Cathy. We're all well and doing okay in school. A while back I got a bash on the head but it cleared up my speech problems, so I sound like a normal girl now.

I wish you well but would prefer it if you didn't contact me again. I enclose a photo of me and my sisters at the beach last month.

Jemima Cameron'.

It was a bit brusque and the photo wasn't the one I had in mind but I agreed she could send it. I wondered if we would hear from Janice again and also if Meems would ever learn to forgive her, time would tell.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3305 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####
The next morning, sitting at my laptop, I wasn't sure how I felt about the email Meems had sent to Janice my problem being that I could see both sides, though I doubt I would ever understand how Janice could abandon her daughter, even to someone as lovely as me - hah.

Seriously, I'd hate to have to choose between Simon and the girls, but I hope he'd understand, it seems my maternal drive may be stronger than romantic love, though I hope it never happens as it would really hurt both of us. He knows what his parent's divorce did to him and it took him years to recover from it realising that his mother had issues but she also deserved his sympathy. I think I helped him through that rebalancing except I'll never know for sure, but it seems men do have problems with emotional issues that I as a woman don't; mind you, I have plenty of my own instead.

It seems that transgender issues are once again in the news as the Equalities Minister, is supposed to have called transwomen, men and raised the old chestnut about men being allowed in women's toilets or spaces. It doesn't say much for her as Equalities Minister, but this government doesn't seem to care much about minorities of any sort, be they ethnic or what have you. I shall definitely cross her off my Christmas card list for being a bigot.

The university is considering buying land for a new campus in Waltham Forest, which is in North London as we don't have space to expand in Portsmouth. Being on an island, Portsmouth is one of the most densely populated places in Britain, sort of the Hong Kong of England, only with a slightly less corrupt and totalitarian government.

On a less serious note, the cycling world championships start on Sunday and I think we have a reasonably strong team to compete in Belgium, though so do they and several other countries, including the Dutch. It would be nice to see Cav take it again, but I think that might be a forlorn hope, still I can hope can't I, and it would be a wonderful end to his resurgent TdF.

I was musing on this when my computer peeped to say it had received a new email, I opened it dreading it was Janice, but it was Simon telling me he was running late and to keep him some dinner. He must be over his hangover if he's talking about food. I hadn't even thought about it myself yet and had forgotten what David had said he would do, I hope he's cooking, perhaps I'd better check, he must be about due a day or two off. Sometimes I have to remind him of this fact. It would also stop me thinking about Mima and Janice - damn the woman. She causes me problems and upset Mima, but I really don't wish her ill because I feel quite sorry for her and the awful choice she'd had to make.

David was in the kitchen preparing something which smelt delicious. I'd had my toast and banana for breakfast but what he was making made my tummy rumble. I made us both a cuppa and grabbed a couple of hobnobs, chocolate variety - well my hubby's a very wealthy man, so I'm allowed a little bit of indulgence. I noticed David happily accepted a couple of biccies as well, so that relieved my guilt. Having said that, it was as thin as gilt, so not a major problem. I wonder if anyone else has gilt guilt? If they do, it's pretty painless.

I stood chatting to David for a few minutes while we destroyed the evidence before the girls expected to share in our calorific booty. "Why was Mima in a strop yesterday?" he asked, "or shouldn't I ask, wasn't um, you know, the um.." he began to blush. As he would know more about periods than I did, I extricated myself by responding that it wasn't. I then told him what had happened.

"Bugger me," he exclaimed and tempting as it was to tell him I'd given it up, I let him continue, "she dumps that sweet little girl on you and pisses off to God know's where to be with her husband who sounds a total arsehole. Then she pops up again and upsets everyone, some people want their cake and eat it. Stupid cow."

I shrugged, I considered that Mima had dealt with her birth mother as she wanted, at the same time I wondered if she may regret it later as we none of us know how we will feel about something as fundamental as our parentage in future years, especially as adoption can cause all sorts of problems to both the adopted child and the adopting parents. So far, we've been lucky and I think some of that is because the children actually asked Simon and I to adopt them, which means they were party to that decision and subsequent action. Unfortunately, lots of adopted children are adopted very young and have no choice in the matter.

Seeing as there appears to be so many mental health problems about at the moment, it makes me wonder how these things are defined and decided because it seems that if people can't get their own way, they have mental health issues. Possibly because no one has ever said no to them before. I don't wish to belittle those with more recognised problems such as clinical depression or mental illness and I also appreciate that Covid and the lockdown that followed it caused people to be stuck in small flats with no escape from their children or parents or siblings, often with little money coming in and the housing being substandard. I watched a documentary the other night about people trapped in disgusting accommodation with water running down the walls, toadstools growing on the skirting boards and black fungus everywhere. No one should have to deal with such outrages except possibly the landlords, some of which were local councils who just ignored their tenant's torment.

It strikes me as disgusting that the wealth gap is widening with the very rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer, especially once the government takes back the increase it gave those on benefits during the Covid crisis. Sometimes I feel guilty about the salary and bonuses that Simon gets, though I am also aware he works very hard for them, but is anyone worth several million a year? He justifies it to himself and I know he gives quite a bit to charity as well as being generous to the children and me and I earn a good salary myself, though I do pay my share of the expenses and also support several charities from wildlife to women's causes such as the women's refuge, which is always short of funds. I feel government ought to fund these things, especially when it's a known fact that domestic violence cases are rising again, the vast majority of which are against women.

I was asked to act as patron of the local refuge but declined it, not because I didn't want to do it, but because if my history came out, it would be a bigger issue in the press than the domestic violence and the need for these safe-houses for women and children. Thinking about that, made Mima and Janice's situation fall into a perspective. It was sad but perhaps not as life threatening as being physically or emotionally abused on a regular basis by a partner, given the number of murders and manslaughter cases these seem to become, I felt it was a greater concern than dealing with Janice.

I discussed this with David who agreed with me, he'd experienced bullying in his previous life and so had I, though not from a spouse or partner, it was from parents or peer groups. Misfits are easy targets and I know I was certainly one of those, as I suspect was our amazing chef. I also realise that several of my children had suffered bullying for various reasons as well as some abuses, which are unforgiveable particularly when perpetrated by those in positions of privilege or trust or power.

Perhaps the ultimate in that abuse is actually killing a child, and I read a sad story in today's paper about some South African woman doctor who killed her three little girls after they'd all moved to New Zealand. What drives someone to do that? I find it unimaginable and I'd kill myself first, as would most of us. Fancy having to live with that for the rest of your life? It made me shudder.

I left David to finish preparing his lamb casserole, which was now making my mouth water, before I began actually dribbling. It made a change from a Sunday roast, not that I'd complain about that either. However, I had work to finish and once again I was stepping into my study and hoping that Janice hadn't sent a snotty reply to Mima's email. I almost sent her one to try and ameliorate its effect, then I thought that she has a right to express herself and her feelings and those feelings have some justification in their expression. I think I know what I mean, whether anyone else will is another matter.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3306 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####
David's lamb casserole was delicious verging on heavenly, but that wouldn't prevent a second helping as verging on gluttony. Stella did but I had things to do for the office and it was easier if I stayed awake, which more food would have endangered. So with more resolve than my sister in law, I thanked David for a splendid repast and took a cuppa with me to my study.

I needed to look up when we had a meeting next week and casually flicked open my diary, it opened at the middle of July and my eye alighted on the sixteenth of that month, around which I had circle with the number 14 inside it. It was fourteen years on that day since I first met Stella and after her, Simon. When I think about what happened that afternoon and what was happening now, it felt like a lifetime ago. I suppose it is nearly, given that they count a generation as being about twenty years, unless you're a bacteria, then it's about twenty minutes. A virus can be even less than that.

I sat there in my reverie thinking about how life had changed and mine in particular and how a small group of people, friends and relatives had supported me through what had been a rather abrupt change of direction for me. I'd gone from a geek post grad student who tended to wear loose-fitting, if not almost shapeless clothing to disguise the changing shape of my body underneath it. Half the university thought I was a girl, I had long hair and a feminine face and voice, who was a bit strange or an even stranger boy who was either gay or really weird. I suppose it was bit of the girl in the feminised boy's body and that was happening before they gave me hormones.

I certainly saw myself as a girl and female but legally I was regarded as a man and male, that I was androgen insensitive meant I would never mature as a male because the dreaded T or testosterone, didn't affect or influence my body except in a very small way, probably about as much as a healthy, prepubescent female. It had caused me problems all my life but in many senses, those troubles were behind me and seeing as they were simply replaced by ever more complex ones, I wasn't sorry.

I glanced at the photo of Simon and I together at our wedding with all the girls surrounding us, all dressed up like the bridesmaids they all so badly wanted to be and which at their age, so did I, sadly I am now too old and I think I can probably cope with my disappointment these days. I have also decided that I no longer want to become a ballerina or a top model, the latter especially so when I learned most of them smoke and eat tissue paper to try and stop hunger pangs. After the meal I'd just eaten, I'd have lost any modelling contracts I had, unless it was for maternity wear.

I looked at the photo and I felt this warmth spread through me from my heart. Here captured on a piece of card were the most important people in my world, the man I fell in love with and who I still adore and all these young women who make me want to get up in the morning, sometimes to escape them, but mostly to be with them as their mother, a role I never thought I'd ever play and which had been both heartbreaking and heart-warming. Isn't that what happens when we give love to others, we take risks and make ourselves vulnerable and if we get it wrong it can be devastating, but when we get it right, it's the most wonderful thing in the world. We are emotional beings and that is what makes us human, not cleverness and skill, it's being able to love and be loved or sadly also to hate or be hated. At times I feel there may be more of the latter two than the former.

Being irrational is also something which is usually down to emotions, people who don't want the Covid vaccine, either deliberately or wilfully ignore the scientific evidence or prefer to believe a load of bunk that is proliferating on social media. Sometimes I think we'd be better off without the various sorts we have, although we all use Whatsapp amongst the family, except Daddy, who, "I've lived this lang wi'oot it, mebbe I can fa wee bittie langer." I admit I was reluctant to use it but all the older girls were and I had to to make sure I knew what they were up to, at least part of the time. I'm sure they use something else now for the stuff they don't want me to know about. Most of the girls older than about seven probably know more about phone apps than I do anyway. I mean, they do Zoom over their phones, I struggle with my laptop, though I have run some meetings via it and the world didn't disappear in a puff of smoke - just Diane's computer, it caught fire, but that's another story.

Oh, okay, the fan on her tower system failed and the safety cut out didn't. Hence loads of awful smoke and we had to get Sammi to remove the hard disc and copy it to the new machine. It was quicker than asking our IT department who seem to have longer waiting lists than the Tavistock Clinic does for trans children. See, it wasn't a big story, except at the time when the smoke alarm went off and we had two fire engines outside within ten minutes. Mind you the smell and smoke was awful, we both had funny throats for a few days after that, all the plastic I expect.

I was musing over all these when I suddenly felt I wasn't alone, it made a shiver run down my spine though when I turned to look, Mima was standing just outside my door, "What y'doin', Mummy?"

"I was just thinking about Daddy." I blushed putting the photo down.

"In he comin' home tonight?" she asked and I began to wonder why we paid all that money in school fees.

I glanced at the carriage clock on top of the fireplace, "Any time now, so I believe," she came and sat next to me and I put my arm around her and squeezed her .

"That'll be nice, won't it?"

"It will, sweetheart." We sat together for an uncomfortable couple of minutes.

"Um, Mummy?"

"Yes darling?"

"Did I do wrong in writin' to Janice like I did?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I got the impression you weren't exactly happy with me."

"Why was that? I don't remember saying anything about your email. You're a big girl now and able to make some of your own decisions."

"I don't know if I did, that's all."

"You were entitled to tell her to keep off your case, if that was how you felt."

"When I saw the email, I just felt angry. I mean she abandoned me, didn't she?"

"In some ways yes, but I don't think she did it lightly and considering how little time she had, she did quite well for you."

"Yeah, but she still dumped me, didn't she?"

"Yes, I'm afraid she did."

"An' I was lucky she dumped me on you and Daddy and Gramps."

"I like to think so, but I also feel very lucky that she did."

"Yeah, I suppose, so if she dumped me, why did she have to stir everything up now?" she climbed on to my lap and sobbed onto my shoulder, "Why did she have to come back?"

"Perhaps this was the first opportunity she had, to speak to you, or any of us."

"Why couldn't she stay dead?"

"But she isn't dead," I protested gently understanding of her anger.

"As bloody well good as, for all she's done for me, she might as well be." She burst into tears and I held her while she wept. "I'm a wicked girl, aren't I, Mummy? Will I go to hell?"

"Why is that?" I tried to keep it lighter, last thing I needed was a philosophical discussion on the nonsense of heavens and hells.

"Cause I'm a bad girl."

"I always thought you were a very nice girl."

"You know, when I drowned and you saved me, I saw myself in a very strange place, it felt light and dark at the same time and I saw you looking for me, you were with this angel lady and she helped you find me."

"You were very ill, Mima, when you're that ill your mind plays all sorts of tricks as if it's trying to work out what is happening to it. All sorts of chemicals are released and they can make you see and feel all sorts of weird things."

"I saw you, Mummy, you and this other lady, you were both like angels and you found me and held me and I felt you bringing me back to you, to life. I was dead, wasn't I, Mummy."

"I don't think so, darling, you were close, but you hadn't died and the blue light helped you, well helped me to help you."

"That comes from God, doesn't it?" she sniffed and I passed her a tissue.

"I don't know, sweetheart, all I know is it can sometimes help people get better and I'm eternally grateful that it helped you."

"So am I, Mummy, I'd hate to lose you."

"You're not going to, sweetheart., I promise."

"If I did, I'd die, I know I would." She began weeping again.

"I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

"Don't leave me, Mummy."

"I won't, sweetheart, neither you nor I are going anywhere, understand, I'm not going anywhere and neither are you."

"Okay, Mummy."

A moment later Simon popped his head round the door and I smiled at him, but he understood in a second blew me a kiss and went off to have his dinner. That's why I love that man, he is so understanding.

Mima eventually fell asleep and Simon came and lifted her off me and took her up to her bed, he talked quietly to her all the time and left me to undress her and tuck her in, she was exhausted and barely woke as I changed her into her pyjamas. We both kissed her and she sighed and smiled but turned over and went off to a deeper sleep. I'd have to warn the others not to disturb her when they came up.

"So the dreaded Janice emailed her?" he said when we got back downstairs.

"No she emailed me, I showed the email to Meems to ask her how she wanted me to respond to it."

"And?"

"She told me she would write back and effectively told her to take a running jump."

"That's my Meems," he chuckled pouring us each a glass of Merlot.

"Except now she thinks she might go to hell for doing so."

"Should we move them from the convent?"

"I think that sort of abomination is placed in them very young, I couldn't see Sister Maria saying such a thing, could you?"

"Now you point it out, no, but what about some of the old crones who used to teach there, Sister Vagina or whatever Trish calls her?"

I nearly snorted red wine everywhere, "Sister Virginia, I think you mean?"

"Trish's pronunciation is better," he said and chuckled again.

"I think we may have some separation issues to deal with, again."

"I think that's an understatement," he replied, "but I'll leave that to you, you're better at these things than I am."

"She loves you very much too, and I feel you need to be involved to show her that we won't abandon her, neither of us."

"Okay, okay, I'll do what I can, all right?"

"Thank you, darling, you are so good to us all," I said while snuggling up against him hoping he didn't see through my extra affection.

"Yes, I am, aren't I, what's in it for me?"

"You have a wife and a dozen daughters who love you to bits, what else could you want?"

"An hour alone with my wife and you know..."

Sometimes keeping all of them happy is like juggling plates, but so far I've managed it, well, most of the time. He got what he wanted last night, not that I was exactly averse to it, just that I was the one sore afterwards. Then again, the next day he made a special fuss of her and it was her who went off in his F-type when he had some paperwork to deliver to the local branch.

Oh, the others grumbled but I explained how Mima was hurting and they all agreed not to say anything but to be supportive of her, even the little ones who also know they're adopted, but that doesn't mean anything to them yet and I heard Danni explaining it to them a while back, "Look most kids just happen and they have to cope with the parents they get, our parents chose us, they actually wanted us to be their kids, and that is better than many of the girls I know in school who hate their parent's guts."

"You don't hate Mummy or Daddy, do you Danni?" asked Cate.

"No, dopy, I love them both loads, they're great parents, I couldn't have had better if I'd chosen them."

"I thought you did, Danni?" said Cate. At this point I left Danni to talk her way out of it and went and did some ironing.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3307 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####
The rest of the weekend flew by but we all gave Mima a bit of extra love and at bedtime, she seemed over most of her anxiety. She had become a little anxious while she was out with Simon as he left her in the car while he popped an envelope through the letterbox of the main branch of High Street in Portsmouth. He told me about it later and the way he'd dealt with it.

When Mima started to weep because he was leaving her, he reassured her that he'd be in sight the whole time and that he would be back in a trice. When he got back, he gave her a cuddle and she burst into tears, saying that she thought he was going to abandon her. He told her he wasn't and that both of us, as her parents had told her that.

"I know, Daddy, but I just get this panic and I can't think or get out of it."

"What would you say if Trish or Cate had the same panic?"

"I'd tell them, not to worry because you'd never leave them or hurt them."

"And what d'you think they'd say to you if you were the one panicking?"

"Pretty much the same, though Trish would probably add, you nit, on the end of it."

He chuckled, "I think you could b e right there, she does tend to give you the benefit of her opinion whether you asked for it or not."

Mima laughed adding, "She's just so clever, she frightens me sometimes."

"Yes, she is pretty clever, but then you don't do so bad yourself, do you?"

"I'm pretty dumb compared to her."

"Hmm," said Simon rubbing his chin, "remind me where you came at the end of year exams in your class."

"Um," she blushed, "I was joint top in our year."

"And that was across the whole range of subjects?"

"Yes, Daddy."

"I think that's pretty good going, don't you?"

"Trish and Livvie helped me with some of the maths and science revision."

"As I would expect from them being older, in the same way we expect you to help Cate and Lizzie if they need it."

"I do already, Daddy."

"Good girl, right now wipe your eyes and nose and let's go and do the shopping your mother asked me to get." They sped off to Sainsbury's and after parking, they walked into the store with their arms linked. Instead of his usual habit of going directly for the things he went in there for, he headed for their clothing range. "See if there's anything that takes your eye, kiddo." Meems didn't need a second telling and rushed in and out of the lines of clothing, selecting several items that she went to try for fit. She liked all of them and he told her to choose her three favourites and he bought them for her.

"What about the others?" she asked coyly.

"You got three, how many more did you want?"

"No the others, my sisters?"

"Tell them it was a reward for coming top of the year."

"Trish and Livvie did, too - of their year."

"What about Hannah?"

"She was a bit further down."

"Hmm," Simon scratched his chin again. "Can't you sneak it into the house, tell them it's groceries or sanitary wear."

"What like toilet rolls?"

"Er, no like sanny pads."

"They wouldn't believe me."

"Damn, what d'you think they'd like?"

"I'm not sure, Daddy, we all have different tastes."

Fearing he was being outmanoeuvred by a twelve year old, which he was, he pulled out his mobile and called me. I nearly choked as I'd just taken a swig of tea. "Get them some fancy tights, Mima knows their sizes because they tend to borrow each others." I could hear him speaking to Mima and he told me they'd do that, how many pairs? I told him two or three each and not to forget Cate and Lizzie.

I think he ended up spending fifty quid on various pairs of tights which Mima chose for her sisters. She'd got the best of the deal but I knew there'd be no jealousy because they all do very well most of the time and I once heard Danielle telling off her sisters, "Think you're hard done by, do you? Well, think again because where you were before you were adopted by Mum and Dad wouldn't have given half the stuff you have now nor the amount of love they give us, so in other words, stop being such little shits."

Our Danni doesn't mince words. I was actually very proud of her because she was filling the role of big sister, really well. Julie had shown her a few of the ropes but Danni was better than her big sister, possibly because there wasn't such an age gap between her and the younger ones compared to Julie and Danni. Or maybe I have it all wrong and she just is better at it, some people are. It's funny because when I was little all I wanted was a sister and to be one myself, but it didn't happen. What would have happened, had I had a brother instead, I dread to think, especially seeing David and his brother together. Then again sisters can be pretty nasty as well, boys don't have the monopoly on it and not all boys or men are bad or violent, nor are all girls and women angels, I've met some real demons in my time, especially when they find out you're different.

I remember being out with Siân one day and although I wasn't actually dressed as a girl, my very long hair and relatively fine features as well as smaller stature tended to encourage people to address me as a girl. Siân was well aware of my girly tendencies and played along with enthusiasm.

We were shopping in Bristol at the Horsefair when we encountered several girls from the girls' school, where she attended, while I went to the boy's. "Who's your friend Griffiths?" asked the biggest of them, a girl a year above us.

"What's it to you?" she fired back and we went to walk away. However, two or three of them blocked off our escape route.

"Come on, Griffiths, what's her name?" they approached us even closer and the bully said loudly, "Or could it be a boy? That girly boy who sucks dicks in the sixth form toilets according to what my brother tells me."

"Piss off," said Siân and we tried to push our way through the gang, but they pushed back.

"Ooh, touched a nerve have we?"

"What's your brother's name?" I said standing firm against them, because if he's one of my clients, then that makes him as queer as me, doesn't it?"

The look I got back would have stripped paint off a door, "He's no effing queer like you, you shit bag."

"He must be, boys who do it with other boys are bachelors gay," I said smirking, feeling Siân squeezing my hand very tightly.

"I didn't say he did it with you, you...you effing queer."

"In which case you are reporting hearsay evidence which is not admissible in court and you're also slandering me in front of witnesses, so if I were you I'd take your silly, slanderous mouth and go back under the rock from whence you crawled, and for the record, I'm not homosexual," I wrapped my arm around Siân adding, "unless you consider I'm lesbian, because she's my girlfriend,. Good day, potty mouth." With that I pushed through them pulling Siân along with me, while they stood gold-fishing and apparently speechless.

A little later, when she'd stopped shaking, she looked at me and asked, "Can you be a lesbian if you're a boy?"

"Do you think I'm a boy?" I asked her back, knowing that we'd discussed the fact that I didn't think I was.

"No, no I don't. You realise what happened will be all over the school tomorrow?"

"You think that worries me? There are so many rumours flying around the place, all of them wrong, and so many enemies who think I'm gay, one more is neither here nor there. Who was that gargoyle anyway?"

Siân fell about laughing, "Gargoyle, what a brill description of her, I'll put a note in the girl's bogs to that effect. She's Melanie Stamp and her brother's..."

"Not Terence, but Timothy, a right arsewipe."

"You know him, then?"

"Oh I know our Tim, he did try it on and swung a punch at me but I pulled the door open and it he hit that, broke his hand. He hasn't been a problem since though it seems he's spreading malicious gossip is he? I expect I'll live."

"What if he attacks you again with some of his friends?"

"I get a few more bruises," as we weren't overlooked I lifted up my top and showed her the latest collection.

"Jeez, Charlie, can't they stop that happening, it can't do you any good? Can't your parents do anything?"

"Some of those are from my parents, well, my dad. He'd probably get on quite well with potty mouth."

"Oh, Charlie, I wish there was something I could do to help," she said in her soft Welsh accent.

"You do, in world where few dare to stand near me, let alone be associated with me, a true friend is a great asset."

"You say the nicest things, girlfriend," she said and pecked me on the cheek.

I'm not sure if the warmth I felt at that moment was worth the bruises I did collect and it would have been worse if Mr Whitehead hadn't seen what was going on and broke up the assault. I got a black eye and a split lip as well as other facial bruising when darling Tim stamped on my face after one of his friends pushed me to the ground. Thankfully they didn't break my nose.

I got my own back six months later when I spotted him shoplifting in a department store and reported him to one of the staff. He was stopped and challenged and they found the bottle of perfume in his pocket. He got prosecuted but got off with a caution as a first offence. He also walked into a door, that I was going through. It was amazing that he didn't seem to see me until the door hit him in the nose and that did break. No one, especially old Murray would believe it was an accident, which it was, but I got detention for a week and my parents got a letter to say any further violence towards my fellow pupils would result in my suspension. The only reason it didn't was that Macbeth was looming on the horizon and they couldn't suspend me and have me star in their play. Perhaps I should have hit someone else, deliberately this time, I had plenty of provocation. But I wasn't a violent person by nature, not until I had children to protect and the rest they say is history.

You could say I've had an interesting life and sadly so many in my position, even today, get attacked or verbally abused simply for existing and even if we're not actually interacting with the abusers except as being recipients of the abuse. We seem to be living in a world where those who use violence feel justified, though without any evidence to prove it. There also seems to be so much anger about and perhaps some of those, especially young men, are unable to express their anger except by violence and aggression. It's very sad, and no one seems to be doing anything about it.

Violence against women worldwide seems on the increase, most but not all, perpetrated by men, often ones in a relationship with the victim or from a previous one. Women, are quite rightly, protesting very loudly about the lack of protection from attackers. I don't know what the answer is, but education and keeping young men busy with work must help and I think we also have to bear in mind that, those who attack women or other men, are a minority, in the UK, most men are fine and often as shocked as women by the violence shown by the minority, but we need their cooperation to prevent the minority from causing the problems and to help educate the problem group that violence is very rarely justified and that everyone deserves some degree of respect regardless of what or whoever they are.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3308 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####
It was a few days later that I got another email from Janice. She was hurt by Mima's response but said she understood. She liked the photo and said that I seemed to have collected a whole squad of girls and she wished all of us happiness.

I wrote back saying that I didn't influence what Mima had written neither did I alter it. I also told her that Mima had been upset by seeing the original email and that had caused her problems for several days. I felt like telling her that she couldn't give something away and then ask for it back but I didn't. I could have blocked her email address but decided against it. Despite her making, what I considered the wrong choice, she was still Mima's biological or birth mother and I understood that she would feel regret at times, but that wasn't my fault, I was just a pawn in the game, but one who made it to the other side and became a queen in my own right. Yeah, I liked that analogy though it made no difference to the cheek I got when trying to get the girls to bed.

I needed to get some space because I had brought some work home. That Simon wasn't here was just as well because he'd have told me off. That he was probably working in his office or flat didn't seem to enter the equation, when he was home he expected me to be available for him. Occasionally, I had to remind him that was after the children had been sated and also that they were as much his as mine. He was usually more attentive of them for a few hours except for Mima, who had a special relationship with him and to some extent so did Danielle, who was an absolute cracker. I don't think anyone who wasn't aware of her history would believe she wasn't 100% girl and she could pout and throw tantrums with the best of them, she could also wind her father round her little finger, much better than I could with Tom, but then she'd started younger.

The university was back in full operation and we had student health offering Covid jabs two or three times a week. Students were taking advantage of it and I wanted to encourage them as it was the only way we'd ever come out of its shadow. It still annoyed me that humans were probably the most sophisticated life-forms to evolve so far and we could be decimated by one of the simplest, I suppose it was a reminder not to let arrogance verge on hubris. We weren't gods yet and probably never would be, especially if we destroyed this planet before we had another to despoil, but sometimes we act like it.

I could not believe that antivaxers were demonstrating outside schools when they learned that the kids were being offered the jab. I listened to one head teacher on the Today programme on Radio 4, detailing how they operated and they seemed well organised and funded but that all they were saying was nonsense or lies. But they rely on influencing those who perhaps are not well informed and who may then be swayed by their fairytales.

Covid has killed possibly 16 million people worldwide, how can people be in denial of it? Then I recall there are people who deny that the holocaust happened and that killed six million. I still remembered the horror of seeing the film we were shown in the sixth form, it was shot by British and American soldiers who entered the camps and the awful things they saw. The bulldozers shoving countless bodies into mass graves will live with me forever, it was like they were something other than people, something of no importance, it was dreadful, but I understood the bodies had needed to be buried to prevent even more deaths from disease. The Nazis had just killed as many of their prisoners as they could as they fled. How one human could perpetrate that sort of spitefulness and wickedness upon another completely defeats me. But history shows we always have, there are reports in the history books of Ghengis Khan having whole towns and cities slaughtered because they resisted him and his armies. According to one story, the Khan ordered that his soldiers should kill all the farmers as he couldn't see any point in them. One of his lieutenants stepped in and said, if we do that, who will feed us? The Romans were not above doing the same, the reasoning being it creates fear in their enemies and they are less likely to resist or to surrender and plead for mercy.

There are also instances of the British doing unspeakable things in their period of world domination, after the Indian Mutiny, many of the prisoners were executed. Richard I, 'Coeur de lion', a Norman-French psychopath who was king of England executed hundreds of prisoners during the siege of Acre, which they did in front of Saladin's army. So Europeans have a long history of it. Ah, but times were different then, we weren't as sophisticated as we are now, yeah now we can do it with drones or cruise missiles without being anywhere near the target. We are still cavemen emotionally but with nuclear weapons and technology, so we have a long way to go to call ourselves civilised and I suspect we probably never will.

It used to make me smile when I saw history done by Hollywood or TV companies, where Prince John was always seen as the bad guy and Richard was always the good guy, rewarding the loyal who had stymied his younger brother once again. Yeah, of course it's all absolutely true, except Richard wouldn't have spoken Anglo Saxon and that he only spent a few months of his whole reign in England also makes it unlikely. Hollywood of history is about as accurate as antivaxers on Covid.

We had our own demonstration by antivaxers trying to stop students going to get jabbed, we asked the police to come but because it was on private property, the university campus, they didn't want to know until I suggested I'd let the professor of Virology dump a pile of viruses on them, which was what he wanted to do after someone kicked the door of his car and put in a sizeable dent.

"Professor Watts, if you let that happen you'll be charged with grievous bodily harm."

"If you don't come and shift these morons I'll have to arrange to have them moved by someone else, which might include the rugby and rowing teams and our weightlifters."

"You can't, someone will get hurt."

"They have no right to be here, they have no reason to be here, they aren't students or staff or contractors or delivery people, they're just a bloody nuisance who are promulgating lies and disinformation. If I had some names I'd sue them."

"You'll need a few bob to do that," said the wag from the Hampshire Constabulary.

"My family own a bank, so that isn't an issue."

There was a short pause before I heard in the background, "Oh it's her is it. Better do something before she sues us again." I heard the person cough before he spoke directly into the microphone. "I've managed to rustle up a few officers, we'll come and break it up within the hour."

"Thank you, Inspector, I always knew I could count on the police to assist us in our job of corrupting young minds."

An hour later they'd all gone possibly helped by one of our biology lecturer's threatening to use them as lab specimens. He came out waving a couple of empty petri-dishes and they all tended to run away. The whole thing did not help my temper or the atmosphere of the day. Daddy saw to it that we had extra security on campus for the next day.

You can see I lead an interesting life, well, compared to say, a barnacle, which of course Darwin spent several years studying and categorising. I mean apart from possibly being able to claim you were examined by Darwin himself, being inundated by the tide twice a day as the high point of your life can't be terribly exciting. I believe that one species has proportionally, the longest penis in the animal kingdom - that's something to drop at the vicar's garden party, not that I'm likely to be invited anyway, unless they had a surplus of cheap firewood, to come and have a stake.

I did manage to do some work that day, but the amount was far less than I had anticipated, so I thought had some more to take home again. I called David and asked him to collect the girls in the VW and that I'd be home a bit later, as I had things I wanted to finish tonight. I left my office at eight o'clock having had a cuppa soup to keep me going. As I drove home all I could think of was what David had cooked for dinner. I couldn't remember what it was but I knew it would be tasty.

Driving home some idiot drove his car under an articulated lorry, which caused long tailbacks and a total inability to be able to turn around and try another route. The local radio suggested it was bad everywhere as drivers tried various rat runs, so I stayed where I was but did phone home to say where I was and why.

A fifteen minute journey took nearly an hour and I was extremely fed up when I did get home. The girls tried to tell me that they didn't think I wanted any dinner because I was so late, so they'd eaten it for me. They were expecting me to explode and chase them round the house, instead I sat at the kitchen table and burst into tears. Even us pawn made queens have thresholds. When Trish pretended that they hadn't noticed my covered plate in the oven and went to bring it to the table, I turned round in surprise and knocked the contents all over her. Then it was up in the shower with cold water sprayed on her for half an hour. At the end of that, two of us were thoroughly miserable, but only one of us was hungry.

Livvie cleaned up the mess assisted by Hannah while Mima helped me try to stop scalding by ripping off Trish's clothing and chasing her up to the shower. Mima shoved the dirty clothes into the machine. I was relieved that the remedy worked and a remorseful Trish apologised profusely. I forgave her and ate a bowl of cornflakes, Kikki had had my dinner - roasted lamb cutlets, before they could stop her. I was surprised Bramble hadn't got in on the act as well but she was out strangling voles or something similar.

I sent them all off to bed earlier than usual and went off to my own with a cup of tea. It had been a terrible day by anyone's standards and all I wanted to do was curl up with Simon while he held me and whispered sweet nothings. I did phone him and his phone was switched off. I had no idea what he was doing but I felt like shit and screamed it down the phone as the recorded message told me, 'The phone you are calling is switched off, please try again later.' After that I drank my tea and fell asleep without even switching the light off or cleaning my teeth - yeah, it was that bad.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3309 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####
I woke up feeling chilly and realised I'd somehow wriggled out from under the duvet which was covering more of the floor than the bed. It was four o'clock and still dark. I went to the loo and tidied up the bed before climbing back into it. I missed Simon and almost felt like calling him but if he was asleep, it would disturb him and he didn't need that. I tossed and turned for half an hour before pulling on a dressing gown and going downstairs to make some tea.

It was unusual for Si not to tell me if he had meetings or other commitments in the evenings while he was away. We chatted most days but he said he'd be very busy for the next couple of days, as was I, so I left him in peace and quiet. I mean the last thing he needs is a weak and needy woman pestering him, especially as he thinks I'm stronger than he is. If I am, it's only on a bicycle and I hadn't done any of that for ages, god it's going to hurt next time I do ride one, everything from my bum to my legs are going to hurt.

The kettle boiled and I made myself a cuppa, added a splash of milk and sat down at the kitchen table to drink it. I'd brought my mobile with me, though I wasn't sure why, however, I checked it for messages. There were none. I sighed and as I sipped my tea caught sight of movement. Danni strolled into the kitchen, "What are you doing up?" we almost asked in synchrony of each other.

I pulled rank, "So, young lady, what are you doing up?" I repeated my question.

"Had a horrible dream, what's your excuse?" she threw back at me.

"Missing your dad, decided I'd have a cuppa. What happened in your dream?"

"Oh it was back in France and I ran into one of the guys who attacked us in the toilets."

"Oh, sweetheart," I opened my arms and she came and perched on my lap. I cuddled her and she snuggled into me.

"It's funny because I was a girl in my dream, but I was just as scared of him..." She shuddered and I realised she was silently weeping.

"Hey, come on, they can't hurt you, they were killed by French police, I saw the fire-fight, it wasn't nice but they didn't escape, I saw that."

"I know, Mummy, but every now and again I dream about it or what Pia did to me, or what my Uncle did to me when I was a kid. Sometimes I think I'm really fucked up, will I ever get to live a normal life?"

"Let me make you an appointment with Stephanie, talk it through with her as she can help you more than I can in dealing with these dreams."

"Yeah, okay," she sighed and sniffed at the same time and ended up coughing which woke the cat up and she then jumped up on Danni's lap and rubbed against her. That in itself was unusual, usually, she wakes as soon as the refrigerator door is opened, the cat, that is, not Danni. Danni sat and stroked her for a few moments. "If I come into bed with you, Mummy, I won't get nasty dreams and you won't feel lonely."

I glanced at the kitchen clock, a huge, great wall clock thing that Tom claimed was a family heirloom, I wasn't convinced as I've seen similar ones for sale at car boot sales. "Come on then, we might get a couple of hours."

I emptied my tea down the sink and rinsed the cup, then followed Danielle and that bloody cat up to my bedroom. I spooned around Danni and she was shaped around the cat who was purring like a manic Geiger counter. Amazingly, we all went off to sleep until the alarm went off at seven. I can't say I felt refreshed but I had had a bit more sleep than if I'd been on my own.

Danielle yawned as I got up to go and wee and then shower. When I came back she'd gone back to sleep and I had to rouse her and send her off to shower in her own bathroom. After dressing I woke the others and they grumbled as they got out of their warm beds into the cool morning air. "C'mon rise and shine, it's Friday so just one more day in school." They didn't seem persuaded by my comments and grumbled their way into the bathroom while I did my hair and then went down to the kitchen to start the marathon of breakfast making.

Tom was already back from his dog walking and Kiki was wolfing down her breakfast. I fed Bramble then put the kettle on and started loading the toaster with slices of wholemeal bread. Danni was next down and she began buttering the bread, nabbing a couple of slices while I refilled the toaster. In between I grabbed packets of cereal and dishes, then with a six-pint bottle of milk on the table, the younger girls came down and began helping themselves to breakfast. I mashed up a banana and spread it on my toast and sat down to eat it. Danni helped Lizzie with her breakfast and half an hour later we were all getting ourselves ready to go off to work or school.

I once had the thought that all of us were going off to places of education but Tom and I were the only ones who didn't seem to learn anything. Actually, that wasn't quite true, I had to supervise a doctoral student who was doing a project on bees, the solitary variety.

For those of you who aren't into insects, bees in the UK are roughly dividable into three or four groups, hive bees, bumblebees and solitary bees. There is one kind of hive bee, twenty four bumblebees and over two hundred solitary bees. The first two groups are social bees the solitary ones aren't so effectively they make their own nest, lay their eggs with a food store and die. They never see their young. These are bees like leaf cutters, which nest in holes in sticks or sometimes bee hotels - the artificial nests that people put up in their gardens with bits of bamboo or reed stalks, or even paper straws, in them. The nests are cells divided by bits of leaf that have been cut out from various plants, which are provisioned with a ball of pollen and an egg is laid in them, then another cell is formed and the same done again, In a suitable hole, there maybe half a dozen of more cells laid and then sealed with more chewed up leaf.

Solitary bees probably pollinate more than any other group of bees, even bumblebees and they do more pollination than hive bees, which are lazy by comparison. Hive or honeybees and bumblebees add saliva to the pollen they collect to make it stick to their pollen baskets or corbiculae, while the solitary bees don't, they collect pollen on their hind legs which have special bristles for the job, or they have hairs under their abdomen which they rub on flowers to collect the pollen. Because the pollen is loose, not being stuck together with bee spit, it tends to drop off into subsequent flowers and fertilises them. Apparently, one solitary bee does as much pollinating as a hundred and twenty hive bees.

There are parasitic bees, wasps and other predators that try to lay their own eggs in the nests of the pollinators or actively rob them and there are arguments that providing bee nest sites creates opportunities for parasites and predators but the jury is still out on that, so I can't say if I agree with it or not.

What my student is doing is creating areas for mining bees, which nest in holes in sandy soils, in a couple of nature reserves, including the one Dan manages from the Billie King visitor centre. He's also doing them at one or two farms that are planning to grow various crops that require insect pollination like linseed. What we've got the farmers to agree to is to build banks or leave a patch of bare earth for the bees to colonise in their fields, both on the margins and in the middle of large fields. Melanie, my doctoral student, will be counting the numbers of nests, the numbers of parasites and other predators.

The farmers are paid for their cooperation and for using their plant for creating the nesting areas. One of my master's students is doing a similar project with bee hotels which are being left on south-facing walls at a number of different sites of different sorts, including the nature reserve and one or two big gardens, including the university campus and the city hall.

Quite how I got involved was simply because the person who was going to supervise, and who is an entomologist, left on long term sick after contracting long Covid. They've been ill for nearly a year and at times can hardly breathe. So I agreed to do most of the supervision if they agreed to do the identification of insects bit, which they thought they could manage from home, my students taking things to them. It isn't ideal, but I think we can make it work and certainly, my colleague, Dr Cynthia Cardui, was upset to be so ill all the time because she really does enjoy her supervisory role. In return, we've temporarily employed someone to teach her courses, which are, strangely enough, on insects. I can do some basic stuff but I'm essentially a mammal ecologist these days, when I get to do any practical stuff that is, and now I shall become more versed in bee ecology than I was before. All good fun.

So perhaps I was wrong when I said Tom and I didn't learn anything these days, because in recent months I've learned quite a lot about various bees, I've also had the children putting up bee hotels in various places in the garden and we even experimented with which direction they faced, finding that it's true that south or east-facing ones do best. Bees, like all insects are exothermic and require heat from the sun to really get going, bumblebees, for which I have a soft spot, are able to warm themselves up by disengaging their wings from their flight muscles, which I believe I read some other bees can do as well, but possibly not solitary bees.

We see bees as intelligent insects because they communicate with each other, in the social ones, that is, to share information on best nectar or pollen sites which in hive bees they do with a dance. I think probably most creatures are cleverer than we think. If you clear snails out of your garden by dumping them a hundred or so metres from where they were eating you flowers or veg, they turn up again within a day or two, showing that they can navigate. Experiments have been done to prove it by marking the snails and detailing where they were found and where they were transferred so it was possible to see which ones had returned.

We don't use insecticides in our garden, both Tom and I are agreed on that, he does go on slug and snail culls every so often, usually with pit fall traps baited with beer into which the unwitting mollusc falls and drowns, which perhaps demonstrates the dangers of drink. I wonder if there are any teetotal molluscs?

It was with silly notions like teetotal slugs that I drove off to work. David takes and collects the girls to school and does any shopping we need for food while he's out. He uses the VW minibus thing and the arrangement seems to work. If he's away or unavailable then I drive them, but it wastes up to half an hour at each end of the working day and I can do quite a lot in an hour, it also means I tend to work later when he does the school run.

Getting the grants for the bee projects that my students were doing was a fiddle and probably more a case of who I knew, or Tom knew that we could tap for the money. In both cases it was Natural England who agreed to pay costs for up to three years. They weren't enormous by some research standards but still ran into thousands each year, mostly to pay farmers for their bit, building banks or leaving bare earth for the ground nesting bees to use. But compared to the scale they do it in the US, we are real small fry. Over there, they use solitary bees which they call alkali bees to pollinate alfalfa, the bees have to open the flowers to pollinate them and although hive bees are sometimes used as well or instead, hive bees don't like visiting the plants because they get slapped in the face by plants as they try to reach the nectar or pollen. Apparently, the alkali bees don't and farmers who use these bees, which are essentially wild, clear acres of ground for them to nest, they are ground nesters, but then they have large areas under cultivation so need it.

"You have a lunch appointment with the VC and a meeting in quarter of an hour."

"Do I? With who?"

"Peter Dominic."

"Who's he when he's around?"

"It's your handwriting professor, so you should know, but you've blanked out an hour for it."

It was more than my diary I'd blanked, my mind went with it and I had no idea who he was or when I'd made the appointment. "Are you sure I wrote it?" I queried.

"Well it's a messy scrawl and my writing is quite neat as you know, or compared to yours it is."

One of these I'll have to kill her, I can't just sack her she knows too much, "Never mind the insults, minion, make the bloody tea." So started another day in the life of an overworked public servant and her wage slave.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3310 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####
From nowhere, the word suberin came into my mind - well, obviously it came from somewhere, but I was unable to identify it. I nearly succumbed to looking it up, then had a flash of memory. It was a waxy fatty acid found in the walls of the endodermis of the roots of plants along with the Casparin strips, helps to filter and control water and solute flows by waterproofing the cell walls so the flow of water and solutes has to go through the cells, or something like that. My botany wasn't that great seeing as I did do two years of it along with A-level zoology and geology plus chemistry. That was an extra subject and I was one of only half a dozen kids in the sixth form doing four subjects but they all dovetailed so well together. Most of the others doing four subjects were doing maths, yeah right.

So my mind had buzzed from bees to botany and I did succumb and look up suberin on the net and saw that I was pretty close in my recollection. I must admit my main preference for botany was when slicing up plants you knew they didn't feel pain like most bugs and higher animals did - okay, only until we killed them, but I had no qualms about microtoming large numbers of specimens, usually in wax, for microscope preparation. It was probably that which enabled me to get good at making slides and earning few pounds at university. A microtome is a device for slicing up very thin sections to put under a microscope, most of which work by shining light through the subject, so the slides are very thin. The more expensive ones have a cutter on them like a small guillotine cheaper ones require that you cut the specimen with a razor or scalpel. Having been scared to death by a slasher film when I was a teen, I had an abhorrence of cut throat razors, so always did mine with a scalpel. The microtome enables you to move the specimen up by about a thousandth of an inch and you just cut across the top, and drop the specimen in water, then you treat it to remove the wax, which is only there to hold everything together, with solvents and place the specimen on the slide and apply stains.

Sometimes it's a bit more complicated than that but this isn't a first year biology class so that's all you're going to get and I don't want the responsibility of you sniffing some of the solvents.

I was musing on botanical biochemistry when Diana dumped a cup of tea on my desk, "Your visitor is here, good looking too."

"In which case I may see him then," I poked out my tongue at her. Well, I am a real sophisticate, albeit a screwed up one. "Better ask which he'd prefer to drink and make him one, any idea what he's here for?" She smirked and shook her head, she was really enjoying my confusion, but it looked a bit like my scrawl, the sort I do when very hurried and usually only have one hand free so can't stop the diary sliding around the desk and moving under the writing hand.

She showed him in, and I still hadn't put on any makeup, too bad. In came this man probably about my age, he was about six feet tall and quite broad, dark haired and brown eyed. He was wearing a pin stripe suit in navy and a bright blue tie.

"Professor," he said and offered his hand which I did remember not to shake and he understood the reason. The chair in front of my desk was also about a metre from the front of my desk.

"Mr Dominic, I presume," my opening lines are so original.

"Uh yes, thanks for seeing me."

"Would you care to remind me why I'm seeing you? I've had so many meetings this last couple of weeks I can't remember who was who." It was true but also a bit of subterfuge to avoid looking more stupid than I usually do.

"Of course. I'm here from Hampshire LabKit, we supply lab equipment to universities, hospitals, industry and so on, everything from coverslips to cyclotrons."

"Can't see you selling too many of the latter." I said smiling at him, he was good looking and he also looked a bit familiar.

"Actually, that last bit was bit of a fib, but it sounds good, you have to admit."

"So what's your background, " I asked, "I like to think anyone selling me anything has some idea of their products."

"That would depend upon the product, surely; not sure I'd expect too much from someone selling cruise missiles."

"We don't actually buy those, Mr Dominic, universities are peace loving places, we only invent the technology for psychopaths to turn into weapons of mass murder."

He smiled and blushed, he had very white teeth, obviously a very good dentist. "Touché," he said blushing. "My background is simple, I left Bristol Grammar School, which is where we met before, did a degree at Bristol University in biology, went on to become a lab technician at UWE, we met there too, and I was bored and found this job which is a bit more challenging than setting up experiments for rich kid students, who tend to treat you like dirt, and staff who can also be patronising. It also pays better."

"We met before? I'm sorry I don't remember."

"The first time, you were in the upper sixth and producing the most amazing microscope slides. They all thought you were an effeminate boy but it was quite obvious you were a girl, your part as Lady Macbeth should have told them that much."

I blushed but said nothing, I wasn't sure how comfortable I felt about all this.

"As a lab technician at UWE I set up some projectors for you to do talks for your mammal survey thing and before that you did some summer school thing with a group of old biddies. They loved you."

I blushed even redder, or it felt like most of the blood in my body was rushing round the skin in my face and neck. "I hope I wasn't one of those patronising lecturers?"

"Actually, you were always very polite and courteous, but then you were as a kid in school. Murray made your life hell, didn't he?"

"Um, I think stuff from that period of my life is irrelevant now, if you don't mind."

He blushed, but not as much as I was, "Of course, sorry but I wanted to say that I had some respect for you, even back then. Seeing you as Lady M and then when you arrived at UWE in GB racing skins, no one could doubt your femaleness."

"Thank you for the endorsement, but can we get back to laboratory equipment?" He produced a catalogue and it seemed both comprehensive and competitive and after another ten minutes or so, I asked Diane to send for James, our senior lab tech.

"I've sent for James, our senior technician, he probably has a shopping list, though we can't buy without getting at least two or three quotes."

"I understand, that's fairly normal practice and I'm confident we can match if not beat any quote you get, especially for glassware and electronics, we do spectrometers, autoclaves, centrifuges and balances."

"Yes, I can see that." I was saved from further sales pressure by James arriving. "Ah, James, this is Mr Dominic from Labkit, could you have a look and see what equipment we need and we'll give Mr Dominic a chance to tender for it."

They went off together and Diane came in, "You look a bit flushed, boss."

"It turned out he was only at school with me."

"Oh, didn't you recognise him?"

"No, he was also at UWE for a while as a lab tech."

"Yes, I know."

"You knew? You could have warned me."

"I uh only recognised him when he came in, he didn't remember me but then no one does with the secretaries do they?"

"I try to, if you want something done keep in with the ones who control diaries and access to their bosses."

"Hypocrite," she muttered.

"Of course it only applies to other people's secretaries." I said it to wind her up and the look she gave me had me nearly wetting myself. As she went to bustle out of the door, "What are you doing on Saturday evening?"

"Why?"

"Could you get a sitter, or would it be easier to come to lunch, you could bring your daughter then?"

"I er don't know, can I get back to you?"

"Of course, but I'll get David to do one of his specials."

"This Saturday?"

"Yes."

"Well, I suppose if I move our invitation to Windsor Castle, and the evening at Number Ten, I might just be able to fit something in."

"I can't believe how honoured we'll be then."

"Unless I stay 'ome and wash me 'air."

"Suit yersel', hen," I said in my best Lallans, "jest dinna tak tae lang."

"I din't know you were Chinese," she said just before my shoe hit the closing door. It would have hit her too, except the door was in the way. You know what I mean.

At twelve noon, Daddy arrived and escorted me to lunch at his usual venue. He had his chicken curry and I had a tuna salad with jacket potato.

"Ye culd always try a Scottish salad fa a change," he said as we ate.

"What you mean with chips?"

"Ach ye ken fine well whit I meant."

"Aye, I did. Don't they also call them Glasgow salads?"

"Aye, but only if the lettuce is deep fried tae."

The thought of that was almost enough to put me off my meal. He asked me how my morning had gone and I mentioned my visitor. He looked concerned for a moment. "Wull they nivver let ye forget yer past?"

"Doesn't look like it, I'm not quite sure why he raised it. Was he showing his support for me, was he hoping for business if he did or blackmail if he didn't? I just don't know."

"Weel, if he tries anythin' at a' let me know immediately an' I'll stamp a' o'er him."

"It's all right, Daddy, but if any stamping needs to be done, leave it to Simon, he has bigger feet than you."

His eyes sparkled at that and we both chuckled. Instead of staying at the restaurant for a cuppa we went back to my office where I have facilities to make teas and coffees. That I also have a coffee maker that Simon gave me when he bought a new one for his flat, was the main attraction.

On entering my office I was astonished to see a large bouquet of flowers on my desk. "Where did those come from?" I asked Diane.

"Oh, Peter brought them for you after he finished with James."

"Well it won't help him get an order, only his prices and supply times will do that," Tom nodded.

"Coffee, Professor?" Diane asked Tom and he smiled and nodded. "Tea for you, boss?"

"Please," I replied, "now do I accept them or is it bribery of a public servant."

"Ha," came the reply from the kitchen at the word servant and Tom snorted. He walked over to the flowers and after looking at them handed me a note tucked into them. I opened it.

'Professor Watts, please accept these as a token of my respect for what you've achieved in your life despite the difficult start. You always were polite and courteous to everyone and I really admire you. Best wishes, Peter Dominic.
PS. This isn't a bribe just a personal statement.

I showed it to Tom, "He may be sincere, better no let Simon see it."

"No, I'll leave them here, brightens the place up a bit if nothing else."

"Aye, jest tak them oot o' thon bucket."

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3311 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####

Diane had found a vase I'd left in the kitchen cupboard. It was from the days when Simon used to send me flowers on a semi-regular basis, nowadays he didn't. We seemed to have grown into an old married couple. In terms of love and affection, I hoped it was true, in terms of taking each other for granted, I hoped it wasn't.

The girls took us for granted, but children always do, and I don't have a problem with that, they're usually dealing with constant changes in their lives and I hoped we didn't add to those stresses - well not too much. Danielle, who constantly surprised me, sometimes as a surly, defiant teenager and then the polar opposite as a very sensitive and sensible young woman. Because she'd started hormone therapy before she'd really got into her male puberty, she was also very female looking and facially very pretty. Her football, she was now a professional, kept her fit but also caused various injuries to occur. At present, she was limping around with elbow crutches after she got tackled rather heavily by a Chelsea player.

Because she's so talented on the field, opposition teams often look to either smother her by having two or three players restrict her game, or by targeting her for rough tackles. Much of the time, she is able to ride these or even avoid them, occasionally making the offender look clumsy or stupid or even criminal and several have been yellow or red-carded for their efforts. If it results in a penalty, she tries to take them herself to show she wasn't intimidated. Given that she's often smaller than the offenders, I know, biological male - you'd expect her to be bigger, she relies on guile and this wonderful talent and on occasion she also hands out some of the rough stuff.

One woman who came charging at her like an enraged cow, ended up with torn knee cartilages after her attack went wrong and Danni managed to get her off-balance before twisting her round while her leg remained as it was. She went off on a stretcher and the video showed it was her own clumsiness and momentum that caused the injury. One of her teammates also ended up going off with an injury and a yellow card for another tackle that Danni saw coming and dodged. It was too crude for the ref to ignore and her torn hamstring mean she had insult added to injury with the yellow card for a reckless challenge.

Danni no longer plays for the school team, though when fit she does help to coach them, teaching them skills and tactics. Most of them are a little better, though Trish has learned and, while only a fraction as skilled as her older sister, she is better than most schoolgirl players and she has been approached by the county to play for Hampshire schoolgirls. That resulted in a full family debate after the trouble that Danni had following her England appearances.

Simon and I agreed that Trish should make her own decision about playing for Hampshire schools and we left her talking to Danni about it and the pros and cons it entailed. In the end she decided she would because it would look good on her CV after the Nobel prize for Physics and being master of an Oxford college at 19.

Yeah okay, my family are a bit different. They are partly because of the gender problems they've overcome, or the abuse they suffered as children and dealt with, or because they all seem very bright. Not being their natural parents we can't claim for any of that, all we did was to offer them a safe environment where they could experiment and grow while encouraging them to learn academically as well as in their life skills.

Simon and I are high achievers by most people's definition but I never think of it as I deal with life. Some might suggest that I have been lucky in being in the right place at the right time and have progressed because of that, or even a bit of nepotism given his father is chairman and major shareholder of the bank and my adopted father just happens to be Vice-Chancellor of the university.

I won't deny it might have helped insofar as we were both known to the powers that be but I also believe it meant that the examination we received before being promoted was even more extensive than the other candidates. I ran the biology department for several months while Tom was dean, and then acting VC. I ran the mammal survey which got us international acclaim. I made award-winning documentaries for the BBC and I also helped to raise ten young women who are a credit to our family. While I'm not sure I like blowing one's own trumpet unless one is a musician - and then I'd rather play the fiddle, sometimes I reflect on where I began and where I am now.

I suppose the next step is to move to a bigger university and bigger projects. I really don't know as the girls' education is important and I'd hate to disturb that. Then there is also Tom, he'd always tell me to go for the better job but it would hurt him so much, I couldn't consider it. We live in a big house and have plenty of everything, so why change anything?

The short answer is that you don't grow without challenges and when life is comfortable you don't look for challenges, though perhaps being married to Simon, running a university super-department, and having half a dozen kids plus an ageing father and the big house mentioned above is challenging enough. I don't know, but I'm looking for a new housekeeper - they don't stay for long, yet they say we were good employers - so go figure.

Perhaps they just want jobs rather than having a stake in the family and household as David, our chef has done, he is part of the family although he still receives a salary as well as his tied cottage. I wish he had a romantic interest in his life rather than just us to sustain his emotional needs, but those I've witnessed have not gone well, which makes me think that in my own relationship and marriage I have been so fortunate and Simon and I love each other as much as we ever have. We've had our problems, but in a healthy relationship that happens, it's how it grows, and the children have caused issues which have tested us somewhat, but we eventually see the solution by all working together, as family. It could work for society as well except people are rarely prepared to compromise enough to make it, but then society doesn't have an emotional investment in itself except for short periods of heightened awareness like the murder of young women in London. We still have violence against women but now the women are demanding things change and increasing numbers of men are supporting us, so perhaps one day it will change. I have to believe that it will, with ten daughters. But we need to address the anger and polarisation that is happening to have any chance of it. It would be wonderful if we could, if we could heal the fractures but to do so means changing the basis of power and that will be greatly resisted.

I see a professor of philosophy has resigned from Sussex University after what was considered transphobic remarks. She claims they weren't but the activists deemed them otherwise. I think it's got to the point of stupidity that anything anyone says can be used against them by extremists or those looking to find fault. Perhaps that guy from the New Testament was right and we should take the plank out of our own eyes before seeking to remove a speck from others.

I am aware that many people who are gender discordant have problems, sometimes it's through bigotry on the part of others, sometimes it's just serendipity and sometimes they bring it on themselves. I suspect some of the issues I suffered earlier in my life were my own fault or just poor perception of a situation or the people involved. I've got better with age and experience in understanding my own and the frailties of others and I hope not flying off the handle so quickly.

"There that looks better," said Diane placing the vase of flowers on the coffee table in my outer office, where she sits along with the meeting table and the comfy seating, thereby rousing me from my reverie. I found I tended to sit and daydream more than I used to - um, not quite true because I used to daydream a lot in school while watching the girls going into their part of the buildings envying them their looks and their clothes and even the makeup they wore which they weren't supposed to but did anyway.

"Professor, woo-hoo, Earth to Cathy."

"What?" I replied feeling somewhat disgruntled.

"You were away in a dream, boss."

"Yes, I'm a professor, which like a judge means that I am expected to hold opinions which only form after due deliberation and consideration, which are then what I profess to be true."

"Wow, boss, did you deliberate and consider that opinion all by yourself?"

"Don't be daft, Tom said it years ago when I woke him up." We both chuckled.

"I've thought about Saturday," she said after a moment's pause.

"And, what do you profess after due deliberation and consideration?"

"Lunch, if that's okay."

"Okay, I'll ask David to make something tasty but light."

"What, like low-fat chips?"

"Exactly," I said trying to keep a straight face but Diane smirking made me laugh and spoiled the effect.

"Oh, James left a note for you." She picked up a sheet of paper from her desk and handed it to me.

"Labkit are offering us prices and delivery times that the others would be pushed to beat. Should I order from them?"

"Tell him to see what Southern Lab Supplies can offer for the same order, they should be able to give him a price and delivery time this afternoon." She went off to do so and I went into my office and sent Danni a text, How's the leg? Mum x.

I should be used to it by now but it still gives me a buzz to sign myself Mum or Mummy, as I never thought I'd ever have that chance, it's therefore a matter I take very seriously. That I have photos of my children and Simon on my desk, at which I was staring, possibly shows that, or it does to me. I also have the picture of Billie in my diary and I still miss her. I was looking at this when Diane barged in.

"Oops, sorry, boss, James said he'd do that immediately. "More tea?"

I looked up and said, "No, I'm going to take a little walk, I could do with some fresh air, so field any calls for me, will you?"

"Of course, you feeling all right?"

"Yeah, I'll be okay in a few minutes, won't be long."

"Why don't you take her a few flowers, you know she loves them?"

"Yeah, good idea, I'll see you tomorrow, anytime after twelve?"

"Great, go on, go." She picked up my jacket and my bag and handed them to me. I shut down my laptop and zipped up the bag. I wandered down to the car and placed everything except my handbag in the boot and drove off to the cemetery, calling at a florist's on the way.

The sun shone on my back as I walked up to the grave, I removed the old flowers which had long since expired and washed out the vase, filled it with water and after slicing off a bit of the stems of the new flowers with my penknife, arranged them in the vase and replaced it in the recess on the gravestone and stood back. I thought they looked lovely, carnations and chrysanthemums. For a split second, I got an image of the three 'inhabitants' of the plot smiling at me. A moment later my phone peeped.

It was Danni, "Painful, why? Oh, she likes the flowers. D XXXX"

I felt a shiver run up and down my spine. It was time to go home and with luck, I should beat both the traffic and the girls, now there's a thought. I'll get a tub of ice cream on the way, that should keep the grumbles to a minimum.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3312 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####
I was walking towards the checkout with a tub of the locally made, overpriced raspberry ice cream when I was buttonholed by none other than Peter Dominic.

"Professor, how lovely to see you again."

I wasn't sure I agreed with him, "Mr Dominic," I acknowledged him, "thank you for the flowers."

"My pleasure."

"I hope you're not stalking me."

"Goodness, no, I just popped in to grab a sandwich."

"I wish I understood what exactly you want from me, Mr Dominic?"

"Your order for my company," he smiled but there was something he wasn't telling me. What was it? I could just dismiss him as an over enthusiastic sales rep or some sort of weirdo who wants to be a groupie - of mine - yeah weird or what?

"I'm awaiting James' report on that, and at the moment you are in with a shot, so if there's nothing else, I'd better get this home and in the freezer before it melts." I nodded and stepped past him.

"Actually, there is something, but it's too personal to say anything here." My intuition was working fine.

"I thought there was." I paid for the ice cream and headed out to my car. "I was once stalked by a very sad and rather ill man from Bristol, who claimed that he loved me and I loved him. I tried to put him right that I had a husband but he tried to kill my colleague and possibly me and ended up slipping on the wet floor of a laboratory and falling on the knife that killed him. I am therefore very wary of stalkers and the like."

"I assure you that I am not stalking you, though I did follow you here. I need to talk to you about someone, who I think you could help."

"Do I know this person?"

"I don't think so."

"So how could I help them?"

"That's a bit too long a story to tell you in a car park."

"If you're messing me about, you realise I could cause you loads of grief."

"I'm not messing you about, I promise."

"Yet you have lied to me so far."

"I haven't lied, only not told you the whole story and I apologise for that, but I needed to meet you again and see if you'd changed. You were always very helpful in school, even when the whole system seemed intent on destroying you, you remained a decent and caring person."

"I can also be very nasty and aggressive when provoked, Mr Dominic, or if I think someone is threatening me or mine."

"You'd have every right to be so, but I assure you I'm not trying to do anything against you and I'm only trying to ask for your help for this person who I care about."

There was something in his demeanour which seemed to tell me he was being truthful and noticing the time, I decided I would take a chance and believe him.

"Follow me, but I warn you if you are trying something on, my husband will probably destroy you and your company."

He shrugged and went a little pale but assured me he wasn't. I drove slowly enough for him to be able to follow me through the increasing traffic and eventually turned into our drive. The minibus thing was already parked, so David and the girls had beaten me. No matter. Though I did wonder if I should be showing someone all the children in our house if he had malign intentions. I parked and unloaded my car. He parked behind me and offered to carry the ice cream.

"This is some house you have, Professor."

"You seemed surprised by it," I said, thinking he possibly isn't stalking me but he could also be lying. If he was, he'd know my married name and who my husband was. So far he hasn't said anything about Simon, so it could be he doesn't know who I am completely. Things seem weirder by the moment.

"I know professors earn a good salary but this place must be worth over a million."

"It's my father's house."

"What the guy from Bristol who used to beat you up?"

"What do you mean?"

"I saw bruises on you first thing in the morning and I know no one had had you in school, so it had to be at home or outside. I didn't think it would be outside because you could run pretty fast, so it had to be in the house and it was more likely to be your father than your mother."

"Ten out of ten, Mr Dominic. My father did beat me when I was younger but he died a few years ago and my professor at Portsmouth sort of adopted me. I call him my father and although I made my peace with my birth father, Professor Agnew has been twice the father he ever was, to me and a granddad for my children."

"You have children, wow."

"You should really do your research if you want to stalk someone."

"I'm not stalking you as you will see in a short time."

We proceeded into the house through the kitchen, where I said hello to David and asked him to put the ice cream in the fridge. "Oh this is, Mr Dominic."

"Is he staying to dinner, your ladyship?"

"I don't know, David. Any chance you could make us a couple of cups of tea and send them through to the study."

Moments later we were surrounded by girls, including Danni and her sore knee. I told them there was ice cream in the freezer but for consumption after dinner. There were cheers and grumbles when they realised they had to wait, but I ignored them and we went through to my study.

"This place is like the Tardis, it's bigger than it looks."

"Yes, we extended it a few years ago, we now have eight bedrooms but two of those form Stella's suite where she and her two daughters live."

"Should I know Stella?"

"No, she's my sister in law."

"Oh, right. Crikey, this is a lovely room," he said as we entered my study. It was lined with loads of books as you know, but mainly the ones I was using or I like around me, mostly field guides or specialist dictionaries. I'm still an ecologist/ field biologist even though I spend much time in my ivory tower, it isn't my vocation, being out in the field observing and trying to understand what I'm seeing is.

"The library is through there." I indicated a door off my study.

"You have a library? Jesus, how the other half live."

"I love books."

"May I see it?"

I opened the door and he looked at the books and journals on the shelved walls. He walked up and down shaking his head. "You've got a better library than some institutions I've studied at."

"Some of it is Tom's my dad. He's been collecting longer than me but I'm probably more acquisitive than he is. General books, fiction, children's book are mainly in the lounge, some in the dining room and the children have some in their bedrooms too."

"How many books have you got?"

"About ten thousand give or take a few and a couple of thousand journals. I take three or four here rather than the university, Tom has a similar number, plus we have loads of downloaded stuff on the server. I pay for a service via the university so we're not abusing their services."

"I'd have thought if you work for them, you'd have an entitlement to use their library."

"I do, but I don't abuse it."

"I'm impressed, Professor, I really am. You have certainly landed on your feet despite your difficult start." We walked back into my study and he saw a photo of Spike.

"What is that? A hamster?"

"That is Spike a dormouse who lived far beyond her allotted span and who was almost a pet. The kids loved her and so did I. She's buried in the garden."

Livvie knocked the door and brought in a tray of tea and bone china mugs with a teapot and small jug of milk and sugar bowl. "Have we really got to wait until after dinner, Mummy?"

"Yes, I told you all, so any whining and you'll wait until tomorrow. This is Mr Dominic, Mr Dominic, this Livvie one of my daughters." they nodded at each other.

"How many have you got?" he looked confused.

"There's me, Trish, Hannah, :Mima, Danni with the elbow crutches, Cate, and Lizzie, Julie and Phoebe live in town in their own place, Sammi lives and works up in London, Jackie is at Salisbury, oh, and Billie died."

"They're all girls?" he gasped.

"Of course," said Livvie cheekily, "we're better than boys." She smiled sweetly and left closing the door behind her.

"You had one who died, I'm sorry."

"Thank you, she died from a brain haemorrhage while we were out cycling."

"I'm really sorry, that must have been awful."

"It was." I poured two cups of tea and we added our own milk, neither of us used sugar. We sat silently drinking our teas I let my sadness about Billie dissipate though did remember I'd left flowers on her grave.

"Are you going to tell me what it was you wanted ask me about."

"Is that your husband in the kitchen?" he asked.

"Good lord, no, that's David our chef."

"Chef? What sort of household is this?"

"We're quite well off."

"I realise that."

"You really haven't done your homework, have you?" I said smirking, okay so it's juvenile, so what?

"No, not at all, all I needed to know was where you were now so I could meet you and ask you for your help. When I saw the name Watts, and C Watts at that, it had to be worth a try. I hit the jackpot at the first attempt."

"I wasn't aware I was trying to hide from anyone."

"Does your husband know, about, you know?"

"Yes and so do all the children."

"Are they yours, I mean are you their natural mother?"

"No, as you should realise, I can't have children all my breeding bits were removed not that they were much use anyway. I'm AIS."

"What does that mean, remember I'm a poor biologist not a clever dick professor who has a brain the size of a planet."

"Yes 42 and all that. I've got or had androgen insensitivity syndrome, so my body doesn't respond to testosterone."

"So that explains why you're so female."

"Yes, I started growing boobs while I was at Sussex and my hips broadened a bit as well, plus my voice didn't break or hair start sprouting everywhere I wouldn't want it."

"You're actually a very lovely woman."

"Careful, Simon can be a tad sensitive."

"Simon?"

"Yes, Simon Cameron, my husband."

"What, the Simon Cameron?"

"Simon the banker boy, yes."

"Isn't he a lord or something?"

"Yes, Lord Simon Cameron of Stanebury or Lord Stanebury, his dad's a viscount."

"Jesus H Christ, you are married to one of the richest families in Britain?"

"Europe, I think."

"Well, bugger me with a..."

"I'm trying to give it up and so is Simon, being ex public school."

"What?"

"That was a joke."

He looked totally confused, "So you're what Lady Stanebury?"

"Uh, not when I'm working, then I'm just Cathy Watts, queen of Portsmouth."

He smiled and then laughed. "So the girl done good?"

"That would be one way of describing it, not bad for someone Murray described as the bane of his school with my perverted desires."

"He didn't did he? I just remember him announcing that Miss Watts was attending the school and for us to show you every courtesy. Half of us fancied you, you know?"

"At that stage, I didn't fancy any of you, so sorry and all that?"

"Why did he make you wear the girl's uniform, shouldn't he have sent you next door to them?"

"That's where I should have been. No, by announcing it he gave every bully carte blanche to attack me as long as they were stealthy about it. Old Whitehead tried to protect me as much as he could."

"Goodness, I haven't thought about him for years, how is he, do you know?"

"He died in my arms."

"What?"

"He was at one of the schools one of my kids was at and I had to deal with him, at first I thought he despised me, but he told me he'd tried to protect me from the excesses of our beloved psychopathic headmaster when a parent whose child he'd suspended for being a thug, stabbed him to death in front of me. There were two of them, I managed to down one of them and when the other came at me with the knife, Danielle drove the car at him."

"Did she kill him?"

"No, thank goodness, but it was only when the CCTV showed we were telling the truth, that the police believed me."

"What, a peer's wife and a noted academic and they didn't believe you?"

"I have had a few run ins with the local plod but after they paid out half a million in damages, they tend to avoid annoying me. It went to a children's home."

"Goodness, I've missed out on quite a few things, haven't I?"

"One or two, now tell me why have to come to see me?"
The door was knocked and Danielle was standing there in all her girly glory, complete with a top which enabled her to show off her small cleavage and was tight across her ample hips. Normally she would dress down to do her homework. "Is Mr Dominic staying to dinner? Oh and Daddy's five minutes away."

"Thank you sweetheart, tell David, yes, he is staying to dinner. I presume that's okay?"

He blushed and spluttered, "If it's no trouble?"

"Not to me, David cooked it. How's the leg, kiddo?" I asked Danielle.

"Bloody sore, can you do some massage on it later?"

"I expect so. Get one of the others to let us know when dinner's ready."

"Trish will bang the gong I expect, you know what a ham she is." She left laughing and I smiled at her.

"What has she done to her leg?"

"Football injury."

"What in school?"

"No at Chelsea."

"Chelsea?" He looked totally bemused.

"She plays professional football for Reading ladies, she's got three or four caps for England."

"She's a Lioness, what a schoolgirl one."

"She's done that and moved on to the elite level, she's scored about half a dozen goals for England including one with an overhead bicycle kick."

"Against Germany?"

"Either them of Holland."

"I saw that on the telly, one of the most amazing goals I've ever seen. Is there anyone in your family who is just ordinary?"

"Not really, they're all cleverer than I am, one of them is off the IQ scale she's so clever. Cambridge have been trying to recruit her but she's too young to cope with older students."

"Bloody hell," he shook his head.

Just then the gong sounded and I thought saved by the bell, but he wasn't getting away until he told me what he'd come for.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3313 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####
Trish had laid the table in the dining room, she said it was Danni's idea. I thought the kitchen would have been good enough, but rather than create a stir, I accepted what they'd done with good grace.

I heard Simon arrive and him tell David, 'Five mins,' which meant he would rush upstairs and change out of his suit into jeans and sweater or something. I heard one of the girls say something and Simon replied, "Oh, that's news. Okay, who is it?" I saw the back of him fleetingly as he ran up the stairs.

Trish captured our visitor and showed him the large photo of Stanebury, "This is our holiday home, not bad for a chalet, is it?"

"This is yours, really?" gasped Peter.

"Well, not mine exactly, according to Mummy, it was part of the compensation package for marrying Daddy."

He laughed after saying, "Wow."

"Don't be too impressed, Peter, it's cold and damp and it rains up there much of the time, but that is Stanebury, Simon's ancestral home - when his ancestors weren't rustling cattle."

"Hey, d'you think we could do some of that down here?" asked Trish being silly.

"I don't think Daddy ever actually did any of it, it was his ancestors," I said.

"What like Gramps was a cattle thief?" she asked incredulously.

"Why don't you ask him, but be prepared for a rebuttal and being scratched off his Christmas present list."

"Who Daddy's or Gramp's?" she asked as if evaluating if it was worth the risk.

Simon came down and after introducing him to Peter, Trish asked him loudly, "Have you ever rustled cattle, Dad?"

"What? What d'you think I am, a cowboy?" to which I snorted, "Remember I'm a banker but your mother seem unable to tell the difference," he fired back rather curtly while giving me a hard look. Well, can I help it if I react when he says something funny, or funny to me. Danielle was sniggering behind him.

"C'mon, let's eat before this lovely meal spoils," I exhorted and the tension dropped. David decided he wanted to watch some soccer match and decided not to stay but took his dinner with him back to his cottage. I suspect Danni may have felt similar except she wanted to impress and flirt with Peter. I'd play it by ear, if she got too friendly, I would intervene.

Stella arrived with her two and she was introduced and we all sat down to dine, Simon offering all the adults wine, including a small glass for Danielle. I could almost see her chest growing as she was included with the adults. She doesn't particularly like red wine but she wasn't going to turn it down. In a few years she'll be lying about her age, but in the other direction, trying to make out she's younger than she appears. I know, I'm almost at that stage already.

The two men seemed to be getting on quite well, Peter telling Simon he was impressed by the castle and Simon telling him he wouldn't be if he knew what it cost to run and maintain.

"But the estate presumably brings in an income?" suggested Peter.

"Yeah, but since a certain person has been pressuring me to re-wild the grouse moor, it barely covers the costs and despite my affection for the place, I might one day have to sell it," he sighed and ate some more paté.

"You can't do that, Daddy, it's our ancestral home," gasped Trish.

"It's a millstone, lassie."

"But it's the family's home," she persisted.

"Don't you think I don't know that, I was born in the bloody place."

"Shall we change the subject?" I suggested and Tom nodded. He was still giving Peter an uncertain look and when I cleared up the first course, I asked him to come and collect the chicken.

"Did I introduce you to Peter?" I hissed at him.

"Ye didnae but I ken wha he is, not whit he wants wi' ye."

"He wants me to help someone."

"Someone dae whit?"

"I'm still waiting to find out, here use this cloth to pick up the tray it's quite hot," I said handing him an oven glove thing.

The rest of the meal went well, we had roast chicken with all the trimmings, including bread sauce but only Daddy and Simon ate any, I made do with a big lump of David's own recipe sage and onion stuffing, it's even better than mine and mine is pretty good.

We were all relaxed and in a postprandial zone, a bit like post orgasmic one but better, and the wine was flowing easily, even Danni had been allowed a second glass. Stella and I cleared the table and we sniggered as we loaded the dishwasher about Danielle's antics in trying to catch Peter's eye, he was talking business with Simon. All the youngsters except Danielle had gone off to do their homework, she assured me she'd done hers. Tom was still sitting there and had actually produced a bottle of his wine, not one he'd made but a very good Merlot from his own cellar stock.

We returned to the table carrying tea and coffee and cream and milk, I always forget the sugar as I don't use it in either beverage. Danni likes it in coffee, so I sent her to find it, she walked a little unsteadily from the table not helped by the three inch heels she was sporting.

As we sat at the table pouring teas and coffee, I realised Simon and Peter were talking about how he knew me and I heard Simon say, "So you knew her in school and that thug Murray?"

"We all suffered under that psycho," said Peter nodding. "it must have been hell to be the only girl in a boy's school."

"It was," I said terminating the conversation just as Danielle arrived with the sugar bowl and nearly dropped it as she tried to regain her chair. "No more wine for you, madam," I said pointedly at her. I could see that she was thinking of retaliation, usually poking out her tongue but in company she behaved herself.

I sipped my tea, Simon was on black coffee as was Daddy and Peter opted for a cup of tea. Danni dropped two sugar lumps in her cup and giggled at the plopping noise they made. I scowled at her and she stopped.

"The reason I came to see you, Cathy, was...oh excuse me I need the loo." He suddenly jumped up and rushed out to the cloakroom in the hallway. Simon indicated that he liked him and I nodded, I did too. Coming back from the loo, Peter nearly fell over our demon cat, who raced between his legs and up the stairs to Trish's bed. We all chuckled at that, Danni saying where the cat was going after she'd discovered there was nothing else to eat or cadge from us.

"You were saying," I rebooted Peter.

"Oh yeah, the reason for my reacquainting us. It's about my niece, Sarah." He paused and finished his wine and then went back to drinking his tea. "She's my sister's daughter, she's pretty well all the way through a nursery nurse's course but she can't find a job."

"Why not?" asked Tom suddenly lapsing into ordinary English. I had a feeling I might know why, Danni gave me a knowing look which we shared with Stella, who'd stayed enjoying the company.

"Um, she's um, she's like..." Peter was blushing like crazy.

"She's transgender, isn't she?" I said enabling him to get over the hurdle and continue his narrative.

"How did you guess?" he said looking shocked.

"Female intuition," I replied and Danni nearly fell off her chair snorting coffee everywhere.

"Oh. yeah of course, as a mere male I miss out on such things. Perhaps the wine or the company had dulled his wits, but practically everyone else in the room had worked it out except him. I suspect even the cat had done so and run off while thinking, 'Oh no, they're talking trans, so boring.'

"Is she post op?" asked Danielle.

"Just wait a moment, Missy." I pulled rank. "How old is she?"

"Coming up seventeen in the new year."

"So she hasn't had reassignment surgery."

"I don't think - no she hasn't come to think of it because one of the problems she has is worrying about being discovered as a girl with a penis."

"Poor kid," offered Stella refilling her cup and mine.

I now began to wonder if he was begging for money so she could get it done abroad or what?"

"She transitioned about a year or eighteen months ago when she left school after GCSEs and went to the sixth form college. They've been really good but they felt she had to declare her true gender to potential clients, the result is no one wants her."

I shook my head, "Why does she have to declare a body part which probably doesn't function except for urine, I take it she's taking hormones."

"She is now," we had a hell of a fight to get them. It was a familiar tale, "She'd been on blockers since she was fifteen."

"So what do you want me to do?"

"I don't know," he said, "I've known her since she was born, it was obvious she wasn't a boy when she was just a toddler, I love her to bits but she's stuck on this stupid honesty rule and unless she has some sort of work experience in place or organised soon, she'll fail the course." He was nearly in tears.

"So you're looking for a placement?"

"Yeah, but she's coming down to me next weekend, could I bring her to see you, you might be able to suggest something we have all missed."

"Is she a good worker?" I asked and Stella's eyes grew wider.

"Yeah, she's no slouch or lazy bones."

"Have you a photo?"

"Um yeah," he pulled out his phone and fiddled with it for a moment then handed it to me. The photo was of a typical teenage girl with long dark hair. "She's gone blonde at the moment." He chuckled and so did Daddy.

"Pretty lassie," was his opinion, which was shared by pretty well everyone.

"Okay, Peter," bring her over next weekend and leave her with us for an hour or two and I'll see what I can do."

"I haven't told her about you and her being, you know..."

"Cathy, is legally female," said Simon, "so any suggestion of anything else is erroneous."

"Of course," said Peter blushing. He drank another coffee and at eleven o'clock he told me he had to go, some returns to finish before he could go to bed. "Thank you, Cathy, thank you all," he said to everyone still seated at the table, Daddy had gone for his wee dram.

"See you next week with young Sarah."

"When I tell her, she'll be absolutely knocked out."

"No promises, Peter, but I'll see what I can think of."

"You are a beautiful woman and an equally beautiful person, thank you so much," he pecked me on the cheek and walked over to his car. Two minutes later his tail lights were heading out of the driveway.

"You're not going to employ her, are you?" demanded Stella. I said nothing and started picking up dirty mugs. "You are, aren't you? You promised me there'd be no more transsexual people here."

"I didn't actually, but I'm saying nothing until I've met the girl."

Stella huffed and puffed and decided to retreat, going up to bed.

"She's right, isn't she?" said Simon.

"As I told Stella, until I have met the child and assessed her in all sorts of ways, I'm not prepared to prejudge the issue and neither should you."

"Go on, Mum, give her a chance, you'd want other people to do it for me if it was me who was in need." Danni was showing solidarity, "Should I take her to see Pia?" she asked rhetorically, at least I hoped it was, then she did fall off the chair laughing.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3314 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####
I was so busy for most of the following week that I'd almost forgotten about Peter's second visit with his niece. I was reminded on Friday because James, our technician came to see if I'd ordered the equipment he wanted. It appeared that Peter's firm was the best quote and I'd passed it on to Diane to do, which with her usual efficiency, she had. If truth were told I was probably the least efficient in my office but the most effective, if that doesn't sound too oxymoronic. Unless I get totally immersed in what I'm doing I can be distracted and frequently am, especially by Diane at work and the girls at home.

I used to be able to centre down in a few minutes of starting something, be it reading a book or working on reports or other paperwork but these days it takes longer to do it. Once I'm there very little distracts me, I once worked through a fire alarm being oblivious to it so focused was I on the work I was doing. They say these things happen with age, but I suspect in my case it's more likely to be due to having too many things to think of at the same time. I sometimes wonder about retiring and setting up my own business, running surveys or research on ecology or wildlife, from somewhere like Billie's visitor centre. Dan really enjoys what he's doing and despite my position and status, I'm quite envious, especially on a bad day, of his simpler work life. If he left I might be tempted to replace him.

It's all very well being a professor but I've been constrained for months by staff absences and the need to get grants for research for my post grad students and Covid has played hell with those as well.

I've mentioned one that involves freshwater macro-invertebrates with help from a colleague who is a freshwater biologist, though he's supervising the identification element while I'm doing the rest. The student is pretty good and he signed up with the local River Fly project group, which improved both his technique in taking samples and identifying his catch. In spending the odd hour in the lab with him while he was doing the identification element before the count, I could see how far he'd come and I was pleased to realise that I'd retained quite a lot of my skills from my pond dipping days as a tween and teenager.

I have another supervisee grad student who's doing a masters in studying dormouse behaviour, which is probably a bit more up my street. Staff shortages also mean that I'm doing more teaching than I'm supposed to though I am of the opinion that a professorship is a teaching post, all the management guff that comes with the chair, is extra.

So I'd just come back from teaching a session on population dynamics and using systems diagrams, these can be used to demonstrate things like food webs and feedback loops. In the population dynamics, I used my old notes which was on predator prey relationships and the classic study which was done at Yellowstone National Park on the reintroduction of wolves and the control of herbivores which had virtually destroyed the vegetation after the elimination of predators by man.

While researching for it a few years ago when I used to teach it more regularly, I came across a very interesting statement from a researcher from Princeton University, who suggested that the ranch owners surrounding the park were very against the reintroduction of the grey wolf until they found out that some had returned to the park by themselves. Then the landowners realised that if they opposed the reintroduction the wolves would eventually return by themselves eventually and they would be protected against hunting, whereas if they were reintroduced by man, they were treated as non-native species and could be shot. Apparently, the change in the attitude of the landowners was one of the most rapid volte-face in history.

What these stupid farmers don't understand is that the wolves are working for them by reducing the spread of a number of diseases spread by deer and also keeping down the numbers of coyotes, which prey on sheep much more so than wolves do. But instead of letting the wolves get on with it, they shoot them on sight. It seems those dedicated to agriculture to make their fortunes seem only able to see dollar or pound signs and continue destroying the environment, rather than their minority colleagues who try to work with nature and conserve the environment. There are none so blind - and we let them have guns!

Having reassured James his order was in progress, he left to get his lunch. I was talking to Diane when Daddy called and told me to be available to accompany him to lunch in ten or fifteen minutes. At least I looked half decent as I try to when I'm teaching. I had on a blue skirt suit and court shoes in a close match, so after cussing him for taking time out of my day when I'd hoped to catch up on some letters, I went off and checked my hair and makeup and spritzed some perfume - Coco by Chanel.

I drove us to his usual haunt and we ate the usual, him a chicken curry while I had a tuna jacket potato with salad and coleslaw. I was hungrier than I realised and tucked into my food with gusto, Daddy always does with his chicken curries, scooping up the rice with his fork and smiling with every mouthful.

"Sae, whit's hap'nin' th' morrow?" he asked in between bites.

"It's Saturday, so shopping and catching up with household chores rather than university ones, why?"

"Och, I ken that, whit aboot thae wee lassie?"

"Which one - perm any one from ten?"

He rolled his eyes and shook his head, I knew he could multitask if pushed. "Na, ye scunner, Peter's niece, wis it?"

"Oh her, I've been so busy I almost forgot about her." I had temporarily completely forgotten, though I'm sure one of the offspring would have reminded me in time, probably as Peter and she arrived.

"I hope ye'll remember taemorrow, I'll be tae busy wi' thon garden tae entertain her."

"Yes don't worry, besides Danni will be there. I can't understand why her leg isn't healed yet, it's almost as if she'd blocking me until she sees this Sarah girl. I don't know why she's involving herself so much, she's got plenty on her plate as it is."

"Mebbe it's because she can extrapolate tae her situation."

"I'd considered that, I also wondered if there was some guilt lingering from Allie, the girl up at Stanebury who died."

"Aye, that's a possibility tae, hen, I hadnae thocht o' that."

"You weren't up there when it happened, she and I were and she was very upset, remember it was her and Trish who found the body."

He shook his head and looked very serious, "Nae child shud hae tae deal wi' such situations or feel they need to tak' such desperate remedies."

"I agree, but after years of suppressing her feelings and being bullied by her idiot father, she was probably overwhelmed by the opportunity of sudden freedom, what I should have done was bring her down here with us where she'd be supported by everyone."

"Jest because it works fa dormice doesnae mak' it transferrable tae troubled teenagers."

I wondered what he was on about for a moment, then realised it was our captive breeding programme, where we take endangered animals into captivity and provide them all their needs in the hope that they'll provide us with babies we can return to the wild when they're independent. I admit none of us ask the dormice if they'd like to choose which option to take, but most of those we do take seem to thrive, at least in measurable terms. If one of my post grad students wants to look at dormouse mental health, I think I'll pass supervision to someone else, on second thoughts, judging their physical health on a regular basis, we're already monitoring their mental health in a proxy way.

"Sae are ye goin' tae tak' her on?" he asked before ordering a tea and a coffee, I was still eating.

"Who, Sarah?"

"Weel, wha else?" He forgot to add, 'Duh'.

"I don't know, I want to have a look at her and discuss with her how I can best help her. I could do with some help around the house but what I need is more a housekeeper than a nursery nurse and I need help for more than a week or two of a college placement."

"Aye, I tak' yer point, but is ony help better than none?"

"I don't know, Daddy, by the time I've invested the time to train her, she'd be leaving again."

"Aye, but I'm glad ye're helpin' her." he smiled at me and laid his hand on mine and squeezed it gently.

"Have you ever known me walk away from someone asking for help, Daddy?"

"Na, ye're a guid lassie an' I'm prood o' yer."

I was still blushing as we left the restaurant but I no longer felt hungry so hopefully I could keep my mind working on walking in these stupid shoes. I slopped on a pair of flats in the car and he sniggered to himself. I can drive in heels but it tends to rub the backs of the shoes and isn't as easy as driving in a pair of old flat shoes that I keep in the car.

I huffed at him, "This is your fault, you told me off so much in the past for wearing casual clothes when teaching that I automatically dress more tidily when I know I'm doing so."

"Aye it's probably thae only thing ye've learnt frae me." This time he snorted when he saw the indignation in my face and was still laughing as we drove onto the campus. I felt like slapping him one as I changed back into my heels to go to my office. "I telt ye tae dress smert no cripple yersel'. I dinnae ken hoo ye walk in them."

"Practice, Daddy, practice, like playing the piano."

"Aye but ye'll no break yer neck playin' thae piano." He chuckled to himself all the way to my office before he pecked me on the cheek and winked. He was winding me up again and I fell for it again hook, line and bloody sinker.

That was when I chuckled to myself and Diane saw me where upon she muttered, "Isn't that a sign of madness, laughing at nothing," and smirked.

My response was direct, "No it's when you talk to yourself."

"At least I hear something that makes sense that way," she said filling the kettle.

I huffed and went to my office and began wading through all the letters she wanted me to sign, by the time I'd done so, all twenty of them, I needed another cuppa and a wee.

Saturday arrived and Danni was still hirpling and using the elbow crutches which meant Trish and Livvie came with me to do the shopping while Danni sorted the washing with Hannah and Meems. We'd left early so were back by ten o'clock just as the second load of laundry finished. We all had one of the jam and cream doughnuts I'd bought washed down with a cuppa, Simon missed out but David ate his when he came to start the lunch.

I'd invited Peter and Sarah to lunch before I'd left the office yesterday and he'd texted me back to say yes. I told him to arrive after 12.30pm to give us a chance to tidy the place and change. I wasn't going to wear anything too formal and in the end stayed dressed as I was just freshening my perfume. I had on very light makeup, just mascara and eyebrow pencil with a touch of lipstick. Danni had added about two cubic tons of mascara and was wearing a skirt and knee boots plus a top which showed her growing chest. Of the others, Livvie and Meems changed into something different but Trish and I stayed in jeans and a nice top, mind you my jeans were CK as was the top, I think. I cut the label out of it because it used to rub my neck.

At twelve twenty, Simon came back with Lizzie and Cate, he'd had to do something in town while we'd gone to the supermarkets out on the outskirts. He certainly wasn't going to change from his British and Irish Lions sweatshirt that he wore with jeans and a tee shirt.

David was standing by to make everyone omelettes to go with salad and sauté potatoes. His omelettes were so light and fluffy they were gorgeous and he can flip them in the pan, last time I tried it, it took me half an hour to get the grease off the kitchen floor.

We were dining in the kitchen, and I asked Si to extend the kitchen table and then Trish laid out the cutlery. Possibly it would have been better to go into the dining room but this is more homely and I wanted the place to feel welcoming for the poor kid who would be arriving any time now. If it were me, I'd probably be wearing brown knickers.

Our guests arrived at 12.35 bearing a large bunch of flowers and bottle of new season Beaujolais. He'd certainly made friends with Simon. Sarah handed me the flowers and thanked me for seeing her.

"No, it's I who should thank you, for these lovely flowers, now important question, do you like omelettes?" They both said they did and I gave David the signal to start making them, the rest of the meal was already prepared.

"We're eating in the kitchen today as it's less formal than the dining room," and I introduced everyone who was present. "Oh, where's Stella?"

"She said she'd be out today and took her two with her." I felt a twinge of irritation and if she came back at me and criticised whatever outcome today yields, I'd tell her she opted out so had no right to complain. She'll have an answer but it won't cut any ice with me, nor I suspect, with Si.

Sarah proved to be a delightful girl, despite her dyed blonde hair and she and Danni got on like a house on fire - what a stupid metaphor. By the time lunch had ended an hour later I very much liked the girl, she was polite and engaging and had decent table manners.

Our youngest children were almost school age but I asked her if I was to offer her some work, it would be paid at the going rate, would she be interested. There would some childcare or supervision and some light housework. She could live in or commute, but the hours could be variable dependent upon the needs of the day. If she had study to do, report writing and so on, we'd allow time for that.

"You know I'm transgender," said Sarah.

"So what?" said Simon, "We've all had experience of trans people and none of us have a problem with it."

"I felt I had to tell you, because I'm still..."

"Unmodified?" I offered.

She blushed absolutely scarlet and nodded. "Are you sure it's okay."

"Absolutely."

"I'm trans too," said Danni and Sarah nearly fainted.

"So'm I," said Trish.

"And me," said Livvie, and Trish nearly choked on her drink.

"What? You're really trans?" gasped Sarah.

"I used to be," said Danni, "I'm legally female now."

"What you've had the op?" Sarah was astonished.

"Yeah, long story," said Danni.

"I have too," said Trish.

"But you can't, you're too young," said Sarah eyeballs bulging. "You're all just saying this aren't you, to make me feel comfortable."

"Yeah," said Livvie, "it's brain surgery they had, they put one in and in Trish's case they put in two."

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3315 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####
I let Sarah go off with Danielle while Si and I sat with Peter and drank his Beaujolais, I only had the one glass as did Peter, he would be driving later. "So what d'you think?" he asked.

"I always enjoy new season Beaujolais," I replied smiling. Well, it was true, I do.

He shook his head smiling, "About my niece," he said.

"She's a nice niece." I replied switching on the kettle to make teas or coffee, "I've made her a tentative job offer, how that suits her course, is up to her to decide."

"Yes, I heard that, but you'd never know, would you?" he asked.

"I might, but then I have experience of spotting trans people, we all do it, some are probably better at it than others."

"I thought she was pretty natural."

"She's fine, really, Peter, but she needs to stop telling everyone except on a need to know basis."

"I've told her that but she's worried because she's working with children, she feels she has to tell them."

"So will she still tell them after she's had the op?"

He shrugged, "She likes to tell the truth, she's incredibly honest."

"I could see that, but she has to learn that telling people more than they need to know can make you very vulnerable and let's face it, virtually all adults have secrets they'd prefer to keep hidden. She also has to learn that being transgender is not something we choose, it's simply a fact of life and never to be ashamed of it."

He nodded, "Absolutely, but there are plenty of people who seem to treat trans people as if they chose to be that way, just out of perversity. I mean plenty seem to think that being gay is a life choice."

"In parts of the Middle East they still punish anyone having gay sex with execution." I'd read something recently about what they do, they stone them to death or collapse a wall on them.

"That is disgusting, bloody barbarians." He said this angrily and I was waiting for some criticism of Islam, if so I would have challenged it. As with any religion, it's the people who practise it that are the problem, especially those who adapt it to indulge their own fantasies or power trips. We all know what I think about religion, lack of critical thinking, but that's up to the individual and I'd fight for their right to be so, even if half of them would like to take me out for a stake. I know, I could give an archangel an inferiority complex.

"It's peculiar to transgender people that they get asked all sorts of personal questions by people who don't feel at all embarrassed to ask them, they seem sometimes, to act as if they have a right to know, 'have you had the op? Which do you prefer boys or girls? I was once asked one of those by someone who discovered I was transsexual and they got really pissed when I asked them the same question back adding, I'll show you mine if you show me yours."

Peter looked at me for a moment, then burst out laughing, "That's brilliant, Cathy. I'll show you mine..." he muttered and laughed loudly again. Tom came in from the garden and I offered him some tea as I was pouring it for the others. He asked what Peter was laughing at and snorted when I told him. At this point he hadn't started drinking his tea, so I decided I'd keep the jokes to a minimum or have to wash the table cloth again.

"Lady Cameron, could I speak with you?" Sarah returned just after we finished drinking our teas. Danni trailed along behind.

"Of course, Sarah, let's pop into my study, shall we? Danni, be a sweetie and do us some teas," with that, I escorted Sarah to my lair.

"What a lovely room," she said looking at my books and the antique desk, plus my various knick-knacks and photos. I was pleased with it, my room that is.

"The library is through there," I pointed to the door and she asked if she could see it.

"Wow, you've got a lot of books," she gasped.

"Well, we have two professors living here plus a nurse specialist and banker and several children who are still in school and like to check facts other than by computer, though we have one of those as well and of course, access to the university system."

"Would I be allowed to use it if I came to work for you?"

"The books or the computer?"

"Both, I hope."

"I should think so once we agreed what was what."

"Gosh, I wish I lived here instead of up in Bristol, you're all so laid back about my being trans, my family except Peter seem to have such qualms about everything, especially my dad, you'd think it was his balls I wanted to cut off."

That line made me smile, she was so right in some ways.

"So what about doing your placement with me?" Just then Danielle appeared with two mugs of tea on a small tray and before I could move, Sarah jumped up and took the tray.

"Give her the job, Mummy," she said before I waved her away.

"Until I started trying to find a placement, all I ever wanted to do was work as nursery nurse and look after little ones, especially as I know I'll never be able to have my own but since I've had so many rejections for something I can't help and didn't choose, I'm half tempted to chuck it all in and do something else."

"Do think very carefully before you do that," I cautioned.

"I'm sick of being trans, Lady Cameron," she said and tears began to run down her face. "I really hate it."

"Hey, don't let them get to you because if you quit, the bigots win, you have to stand up for your rights, you're still a human being and a very lovely one," I said wrapping her up in a hug.

She sobbed in my arms for a few minutes. "No one knows what it's like," she said sniffing. "It's just not fair."

"Some of us do know or have a good idea what it's like," I said quietly still holding her. "I had a daughter who was transgender, she died, nothing to do with her gender discomfort, she had a brain aneurysm and died while we were out cycling."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, and there's me being selfish again," she said.

"You're not being selfish, Sarah," I hugged her again getting a distinct feeling that Billie approved of me using her to try and comfort the girl while being a total hypocrite and keeping my own past hidden.

"To lose a child must be the worst feeling in the world," she said sniffing.

"If not it must be close to it," I agreed, "but let's deal with your needs today, Billie is at peace so I know hers have been met."

"I don't know what I want except to be a normal girl and I know I can never be that, so what's the point of anything?"

"How will anyone know you're not a normal girl, unless you tell them?" I asked, "You're as pretty as any I've seen and I see quite a few in a university."

"You're so kind, Lady Cameron, but I look at Danni and she is beautiful as are you, I'll never be able to feel as female as you do because I don't have all the correct bits, so who am I trying to fool?"

"Now hang on a moment, when you came the other day you were full of finishing your course and doing the job you told us you loved, what's changed?"

She burst into tears again, "I'm just a fake compared to you all," she sobbed.

I decided some tough love was needed. "Sarah, please stand up and stop snivelling." I pointed to the mirror and made her stand in front of it. "Tell me what you see."

"Me dressed as girl," she sniffed.

"I thought you were a girl."

"How can I be, without ovaries and all the other bits."

"Being a woman is something that happens between the ears not the legs and there are loads of biological females who can't breed for umpteen reasons or have had to have ovaries or uterus removed, they're still female aren't they?"

"Yeah, but they were female beforehand, weren't they?"

"But not anymore according to your criteria or does that only apply to you because you don't really want to be a woman."

"Yes, I do, more than anything."

"Okay, so you look and act like a woman, so let's call you a woman, okay?"

"But I can't," she sniffed.

"Sarah, if you can't accept yourself, how can you expect others to accept you as you wish to be accepted."

"But I'm incomplete."

"Arguably, we all are, we are always working to become who we want to be or seen to be, it's a lifelong thing. If you appear and act like a female, only those who need to know you're not quite complete, will know - how many times do you wander about naked in the average week?"

She turned to face me, "Only when I'm in the shower," she said blushing.

"So when you're working you wear clothes?"

"Yes, of course."

"Glad to hear it, so can anyone see your unmodified bits?"

"No, course not."

"So they wouldn't know you had any unless you told them?"

"No."

"So they'd accept you as a woman?"

"Yes, I think so."

"You think so or know so?"

"Okay, I know so."

"I'm telling you, if they thought you were a boy in a dress, they'd soon tell you and they don't do they?"

"Not any more, at first I wasn't quite so convincing but usually I don't have any problems, except boys with seemingly lots more hands than humans usually have."

We both smiled at her description of wandering hands syndrome which afflicts many females. "That tends to indicate you make the grade, so why can't you accept yourself?"

"Okay, I surrender, I'm a girl and I accept myself, is that okay?"

"It's not me you need to tell, I can see you're a lovely young woman."

"Okay, point taken."

"I deal with adolescents for a living and have done so for some time, plus it's not that long ago that I was one myself and I haven't forgotten the ordeal it can be at times. Many young women have problems accepting themselves or seeing themselves as loveable or beautiful because they don't meet the criteria that applies to super models, who are as far from real women as polar bears are from teddy bears. Just be yourself and the best you, you can be, that's all any of us can do. You are a lovely young woman just give yourself some love and less of the hard criticism, we're none of us perfect just rejoice in who you are and enjoy your life, it's too short to find fault."

She sat on the sofa opposite me and sipped her tea and her eye movements tended to show she was reviewing what I had just said, processing it, her expression going from neutral to almost a smile and then to a grimace, finally she looked up at me and smiled, her red eyes sparkled. "I wish you were my mum, Lady Cameron, no one has ever spoken to me like that before."

"I have houseful of daughters, they all go through this ordeal of being good enough, or pretty enough, so I have a bit of experience of helping them through it. I have got it wrong once, not with my daughters, thank goodness, but with a young woman up in Scotland who was the daughter of one of the estate workers. She was transgendered and had had parents who caused her to suppress who she was. She got friendly with some of my girls and they told me about her unhappiness and being someone who doesn't like to see children unhappy, I interfered and gave her the chance to live as she wanted, I even arranged for her to see an appropriate doctor who confirmed that she was transgender."

"Wow, you did all that for her?"

"Yes, and the day after she hanged herself."

"What? Why if you'd given her the chance to be herself?"

"It overwhelmed her and she couldn't cope, after that I promised not to do so again unless it was to prevent child abuse or some other danger. Do-gooders can sometimes get it wrong."

"I'm sorry that happened and I think you did the right thing or had the best of intentions."

"Sarah, everyone must make their own lives and their own decisions, all we can do is try to help when we see them struggling or heading for trouble, but unless they ask for help, we sometimes make things worse because we take away their authority. Ali, the girl up in Scotland didn't ask for my help, my daughters did it for her and I should have asked her what she wanted me to do to help not take over and push her along at the rate with which I was happy. So after all the advice I've given you, I exhort you to do what makes you happy, you're the only one who knows for certain and you're the one who has to bear the consequences."

"If I was to drop my course, would you help me do something different?" she asked blushing.

"Shouldn't you be talking to your mum about this not me?" I felt awful now, this wasn't what I intended.

"Nah, Uncle Pete is better than her and I think being a woman, you understand better than he does, bless him."

"What do you want to do?"

"I'd like to work for you and do some access course to study something at university, do a proper academic qualification, perhaps become a nurse or a teacher."

"Or a midwife or doctor, or anything you want to be, provided you put in the hours and are of reasonable intelligence you can be who you want to be."

"Yeah, doctor, that would make some of them take notice of me wouldn't it? I'd show them I wasn't just some fairy, but someone of value."

"If I may offer a modicum of advice, Sarah, do something that you want to do, not to prove something to others, if they've been that unhelpful in the past, proving them wrong won't actually achieve anything because they'll be too stupid to understand. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, are you sure you can't adopt me?" she asked grinning.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3316 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####

When Trish came to see what was happening, we'd been gone about forty five minutes, I sent her to ask Peter to come down to my study. He arrived a moment or two later and immediately noticed Sarah's red eyes and streaky makeup. "Is everything all right?" Don't we ask some dumb questions trying to find a way to probe a situation without upsetting everyone and sometimes even facing hostility from other participants.

"Sarah and I explored a few of her concerns and I think she needs to talk them over with someone in her family who can help her find answers. We discussed some options she has or might have, but I can't be involved because I may provide one or two of the options."

"But I thought it was simply about you offering a placement to Sarah, what's gone on since?" He looked confused and possibly a little hurt, perhaps thinking I'd ruined his little idea and thereby proving I wasn't the fairy godmother he thought I was.

"That is still one of the options, but depending on how Sarah feels, there might be others which would provide a different option. I don't want to say too much because Sarah needs to discuss it without my influence. Right that's brought you sort of up to date," I said to Peter and to Sarah I said, "You, missy, need to pop to the cloakroom and tidy yourself up." She blushed and ran off.

"What's happened, Cathy? " he looked irritated.

"I think Sarah needs to tell you or whoever she decides to talk it over with."

"Yeah, well, that's me usually, her parents are a waste of space. So what went wrong with the placement?"

"I promised Sarah, I would help when she had a better idea of what she wanted to happen, please help her decide, not do it for her, it has to be her decision because she has to live with the consequences, but I will help her as much as I can when I know what her decision is?"

"I'm disappointed, Cathy, I really am."

"You're entitled to feel whatever you wish, but I think things might change for the better."

"You haven't talked her out of becoming a girl?" his eyes went very wide as he spoke.

"What? Don't be silly, I haven't talked her out of anything or into anything, I just helped her see some more options, I do it with students all the time, occasionally with staff as well. A big part of my job is helping people to grow and develop, including myself. I think the discussion we had is helping her to do that and I'd be grateful if you saw it that way too when she talks to you."

"Oh, okay, whatever this mysterious talk is about, I'll do my best to help her benefit from it."

"Just remember that some benefits take a while to grow and often the bigger they are, the longer they take to mature. She's a lovely girl and I promised her I would help as I could, but I need her to let me know how."

"So what do we do about this placement thing?"

"Talk to Sarah and I think you'll see a solution."

"Women, you all talk in riddles."

I smiled at him, "Have you only just noticed that, Peter?"

He smiled back, "I suppose that means it's how I see you."

"Thank you, but you should have noticed it about me in school, I haven't changed that much."

"What? You bear very little resemblance to the uncomfortable girl I knew from school, you've grown into a beautiful woman and in all the right places too. The ugly duckling fable is you to a tee."

"Me a swan? Aw go on," I said reciting a song from my childhood about the ugly duckling which I loved when I was about three. I hope now to forget it forever.

He got the link and laughed which was when Sarah returned looking much better, her makeup restored. "Thank you, Lady Cameron, I'm sorry I was such hard work. Thank you for a lovely lunch and some good advice, I'll be in touch soon."

"Thank you for coming, Sarah, and my name is Cathy."

"Do you mind if I call you, Auntie Cathy, because you've been like an older and wiser relative for me today?"

"No that's fine, go home and think about what you really want and how you want to achieve it and I'll help you if I can."

She hugged and kissed me on the cheek, which Peter copied. Then I showed them to the door and they left talking quietly as they went to Peter's car. I felt washed out and closed the door only to walk straight into Danielle who demanded to know what was going on.

"That's between Sarah and her family."

"She's not gonna revert?" she asked aghast.

"Not as far as I know, why would you think that?"

"Well, you're good at manipulating people."

"Of course I am, I'm a woman, a wife stroke mother and a professor, all three require getting people to do what I want, but I promise I didn't manipulate Sarah, just helped her to see things in a better perspective."

"Aw shit," she said and limped off with her elbow crutch."

"When are you going to let that leg heal?"

"Whatja mean?" she fired back.

"Stop blocking the healing."

"I'm not," she protested.

"Danni, I'm your mother, remember."

"Can I ever forget?" she said limping upstairs at quite a lick.

"I hope not," I said quietly to myself as I went to the kitchen and made some fresh tea then went to my study to get a few minutes peace and quiet. When I got there I spotted an envelope which I didn't put there. It was unsealed and I opened it, it was a report or reference from the college where she was doing her nursery nurse course.

'Sarah is a lovely young woman who lacks some confidence in herself although she is clever and very personable when she overcomes her shyness. She is coping with the academic element of her course very well and she is also a very capable nursery nurse student, dealing very well with all the children she has met as well as their parents. We would be grateful if you could see to help her hone these skills in a real-life placement.' It was signed by the principal of the school.

My peace was short-lived, I'd drunk about half my tea when a delegation arrived led by Trish. "So why didn't you give her the job?" she demanded with Livvie and Hannah and Meems as onlookers.

"When she realised she had to keep an eye on you lot, she told me to forget it." I was trying to keep a straight face but it was difficult.

"I'll bet she didn't, she's nice, so why didn't you employ her?"

"That's between Sarah and me and it's confidential," I said sipping my tea.

"But you can tell us," insisted Trish.

"I don't think so," I replied, "It's why they call it confidential."

"Auntie Stella will be pleased, no more trannies, I think she thinks you import them just to annoy her."

"I don't do anything to deliberately annoy your Auntie Stella, she's my sister in law remember."

"She doesn't like tranny staff, does she?"

"She likes David well enough and she loves his cooking."

"David don't count, he's been here forever."

"He does count for that very reason, he's part of the family."

"Yeah, well Sarah coulda been too."

"Look girls, I didn't withdraw my offer for her to work here we just touched on one or two other things and she went off to think about it."

"What other things?" demanded Trish.

"That's the confidential part, now if you haven't anything better to do but annoy me, then go and find something useful to do, I want to do some mending before it gets any darker."

Yeah I know, mending, I'm married to a billionaire banker and I'm mending school uniforms. It so happens I like doing it, or do when I have more time, it makes me feel more like a mother and less like a professor. I hope it shows the girls that I care about them and how they look or appear to the world, but I doubt any of them see it that way, except possibly Danni. She has grown up quite a lot in the past year or so.

Just after I'd settled myself on the sofa with my sewing box and the pile of mending, she walked in minus the crutch. "Oh," I said, "How's the leg?"

"It's okay."

"Is that okay, as in healed? or okay, I can cope with it?"

"It's fine, I have to see the team doctor on Tuesday and if he agrees I start light training then the week after I play a couple of training games and then back to full team commitment."

"Oh good, or is it?" I asked looking through the mending, there was more than I thought.

"Want some help?" she asked avoiding my question. I nodded and she sat down next to me and between us we sewed and chatted but not about anything of any consequence.

"Did I say I had a text from Sarah?" she suddenly announced.

"No, what did she say?"

"She thinks you're wonderful."

"I knew someone would notice one day," I said trying not to laugh.

"Ha bloody ha," said Danni, "everyone you meet says you're wonderful or an angel, she complained.

"So, jealous are we?"

"Absolutely she said and then we both fell about laughing.

Simon found us an hour later as we were finishing our chore, he looked as if he'd been asleep and yawned as he went to say something. "So what's happening with the girl?" he asked.

"I'm waiting for her to get back to us."

"What? she's not grabbing the job in both hands?"

"No, she's exploring her options."

"Pretty little thing," he said and went off back to the television, I expect.

Danni snorted. "That's my dad, always about half an hour behind you, Mummy, sometimes more yet he's the billionaire and you're not."

"I like him to do better at some things than me."

"Is that just your feminine intuition?"

"Intuition, good lord no, it's simple manipulation, keeps him happy and besides we love each other and we both like to see the other do well."

"I hope I marry someone like Daddy."

"What, a billionaire?"

"That would be nice, but someone I could love like you and Daddy love each other." I smiled and gave her a little hug, no wonder I love this girl, she is precious.

On Tuesday, I had a text from Peter asking if Sarah could come and see me. I replied asking if she'd like to come to the house or to my office at the university. She apparently opted for the university, I thought she might. I also had an idea of what she was going to do.

I arranged for him to bring her to the university at four that afternoon. I thought if Diane was still about, he could talk to her while Sarah told me what she wanted to do. I assumed she had decided what that was but these things are never certain, it just felt like it, but I have been wrong before and probably will in the future, it's part of being human, or as close as I get to it.

I told Diane to block my appointments from four and to hold all calls after that. She of course wanted to know what was going on but I let her stew. It keeps her focused, I accept not always on what she was supposed to be but I accepted that as part of her career development. Curiosity killed the cat... etc.

I'd had a university council meeting earlier on, so was wearing a very nice Chanel suit and blouse. My shoes were Prada and fitted well and I'd managed to walk about in them all day, perhaps I'd lost any sensation in my toes but they were quite comfortable. I had dressed to impress being aware that most of the crusty old zombies who made up the council couldn't tell the difference between haute couture and a hot dog.

Peter arrived walking into Diane's office followed by Sarah. "We've a meeting with Professor Watts," he said and Diane buzzed me to let me know they'd arrived. I asked her to make us a couple of teas and to keep Peter occupied while Sarah spoke with me. I wanted to know what she wanted not him. So a few minutes later, Sarah came in carrying two mugs.

"I believe yours is the dormouse one?" she said handing me my mug. Then she noticed the gold and diamond brooch of dormouse that Simon got me. "Wow, what a wonderful brooch, I bet you didn't get that in Samuel's," she said, "I love your suit."

"You look very nice as well, kiddo," I replied taking in her casual jacket and very tight-fitting jeans.

"I'm about ten levels below you," she said blushing.

"I thought we'd dealt with the self-esteem issues?" I asked.

"Yeah okay, but you look a million dollars and I look as if I went to a tailor at the Sunday car boot sale."

"That's just purchasing power, when you're my age you should be able to afford better labels."

"Is that a Chanel suit, I know your perfume is?"

"I think so, it was the first thing that fell out of the wardrobe this morning." It was whopper, but I was just teasing her.

"Sure, and you just happened to coordinate it with everything else, you look beautiful, Auntie Cathy."

I'd forgotten about the appellation and felt myself blush a little, I hope it wasn't noticed. I was about to ask her what she decided when Diane popped her head inside my door, "How long are you going to be, Professor?"

"Until I retire, why?"

"What?" she looked completely bemused.

"You asked me how long I'd be a professor, I told you."

"No, I didn't, I asked how long you'd be because Peter offered to run me home if you were going to be any time."

I looked at Sarah and she shrugged. "Go on then, see you tomorrow."

She waved to both of us and left. "They used to work together."

"I know, he told me."

"Hey, want to see the dormouse unit?"

"What's that?"

"The unit we have which we use to breed dormice in captivity."

"You have dormice, here?" she squealed.

"We do,"

"Oh please," she said, so we trotted off to the labs.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3317 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####
I clopped along the corridor to the labs while Sarah walked alongside me in her flat shoes making only the barest squeak on the tiled floors. "I've never seen a dormouse," she said making conversation her tone excited.

"Well they are mainly nocturnal, so that's hardly surprising.

"Like bats, they're flying mice really, aren't they?"

"Uh not really, Sarah, bats are an entirely different order to mice, to start with most are insectivores through a few eat other things like birds or frogs and I believe there's one which eats fish."

"What? Crikey, I thought they were just flying mice."

"No mice are rodents, which is quite a large order including things as small as harvest mice and as big as a beaver."

"What?" she gasped, "Mice are related to beavers?"

"Uh not quite, they're in the same order which means they have some similar characteristics like the teeth are the same design, which is usually the most obvious one."

"Oh like my rabbit," she squealed almost like someone a few years younger.

"Uh, not quite rabbits and hares belong to the order of lagomorphs."

"Oh, what's the difference?"

"They have different teeth and their jaws are a bit different and lagomorphs have furry feet including hair on the soles of their feet instead of pads."

"Wow, you know everything, don't you, Auntie Cathy?"

"Actually, I don't but don't tell my students." She roared with laughter, possibly more so than the joke deserved so I wondered if she was anxious about what she was going to tell me. I know I was a little concerned about hearing it, even though I had a good idea what she would say.

I let us in to the dormouse lab and switched on the low lighting in the cages. Most of them would be settling down to hibernate now, especially as we have the temperatures in their cages reflect the outside temperature and it was cooler this last few days. We've improved on the design since I first set it up with more natural places to hibernate and where they can build their nests. These are usually on the ground, in holes in the ground or in trees near the ground. They frequently nest in leaf litter around the base of trees or thick shrubs.

"Wow, they've got furry tails," said Sarah almost squealing.

"Yes, despite the common name, the common dormouse is closer to squirrels than mice, but it is a rodent."

"Are squirrels rodents, then?"

"Yes," I fished into one of the cages and picked out a sleepy dormouse, it wasn't torpid simply a little sluggish waking up rapidly as I held it. Sarah stroked it gently on the head.

"They are so beautiful, aren't they?"

"I think so, but then I've been in love with dormice for quite a few years."

"Can you get them as pets?"

"They're protected animals, so they shouldn't be taken from the wild except as an emergency or without a special licence. We have a special licence to breed them here and release them into the wild."

"Sounds a lot more fun than looking after someone else's unwanted children."

"I thought you liked your course?" I said although I knew she wasn't being stretched enough.

"'S'okay, I s'pose, but that was before I discovered dormice." She laughed and stroked our hapless Muscardinus some more. "Could I hold her?" she asked which I was half dreading, this wasn't Spike and thus not used to handling.

The lab door opened, "Oh it's you, Professor?" said James obviously thinking he'd caught two students who shouldn't be there.

"I'm just showing Sarah the dormice," I said and he wandered over.

"Yeah, lovely, aren't they?" he said as I put the one in my hand back into its cage.

"Could I hold one?" she asked again.

"What d'ya think, Professor?" asked James winking at me.

"A torpid one?" I suggested and he nodded then opened a cage a few down from us and picked out one that was curled and fast asleep, well, it's not really asleep, but it looks like it.

"Just a minute or so, because it will start to wake up and that consumes a lot of energy."

"What is it hibernating?" she asked.

"Starting to."

"She's gorgeous," she said quietly looking at the bundle of fluff in her hand.

"It's a male," I said pointing at the sign on the front of its cage.

"How can something this beautiful be male?" she asked, I hope rhetorically because I wasn't going to answer it. James relieved her of her precious cargo and we thanked him and headed back up to my rooms.

She was silent walking back and stopped and said, "You used to play with them when you were a student?"

"A bit at Sussex when the guy who was running the surveys there left I got placed in charge of them, but it wasn't until I came here that I was able to really do any study."

"You've been very lucky."

I agreed, I have in all sorts of ways. We got to my office and sat on the couch. "So have you made your mind up?" I asked her.

"I don't know, Auntie Cathy, I thought I had but then you showed me those gorgeous dormice and now I don't know. Do they study them at other universities?"

"Probably, but as part of their ecological science courses or biology. We do some field biology and ecology courses and some environmental science as well."

"Would I be able to study dormice?"

"Not exclusively that's post grad stuff," she looked bemused, "master's or doctoral degrees." She nodded her understanding. "Some of our undergrads do get involved with dormice as part of the survey things we teach them, but they may just as easily end up counting pond life or plants somewhere and trying to integrate what they see into the environment in which they are seeing it."

"What, why does this grow here?" she asked and I nodded answering, exactly that.

"That sounds a bit more fun than changing nappies or wiping snotty noses."

"I thought you enjoyed doing that? I know I did when the girls were little."

"I thought I did but you opened my eyes to other things."

"You make me feel like the serpent in the Garden of Eden handing Eve the apple of knowledge."

"I never understood that story, Auntie Cathy, what's wrong with knowledge?"

"I think it was meant as a way of explaining our self awareness which in our arrogance we thought we were the only species of mammal to possess it. Seems several others do as well and possibly some birds."

"So it wasn't just that Adam noticed he had an outie and Eve had an innie?" she asked.

"If I remember my bible stories, they had several kids when God kicked them out of the Garden. I think as well it's about the discovery of good and evil, which of course varies with culture, though I would hope that certain themes would appear in every culture like the protection of children and respect for life, but it sadly doesn't and in places life is still cheap. Anyway we're going off course a little, so what have you decided, or what had you decided before you caught dormouse contagion?"

She giggled and looked slightly embarrassed avoiding direct eye contact. Well, I suppose I am the alpha female, so she needs to keep me on board whichever she chose, but then if she knew me better, she'd know that I try to stay supportive of whoever I'm dealing with, it's part of my role and part of my nature, so she doesn't need to appease me., all she needs is to be honest with me and I'll do whatever I can for her.

"Auntie Cathy, what would I need to do to apply to study dormice here?" she asked blushing. I admit it wasn't quite how I expected the question to be framed.

"Ideally, you would need to offer us the equivalent of and A and two Bs at A-level plus sufficient GCSEs, including English and Maths. There is an alternative where you complete and access course which would provide both you and the university you applied to an opportunity to assess whether they think you are up to the level of education we need and for you to decide the same about yourself. I'm not sure how academic your current course is."

"I have GCSE English and maths, and I have two A-levels, a B and C in Biology and Geography."

"I see, even I can't pull strings enough to accept you with those, but if you were to apply to me, and write to me personally, then I would be happy to offer you a place next year if you were to achieve another A-level in a science subject or maths or complete a successful access course."

"What if I completed my nursery nurse course? Would that count?"

"I don't think I could accept that, Sarah because it's a vocational course, were you doing physiotherapy, which is another vocational course I could accept it because it comes with a degree, so demonstrates an ability to deal with degree level study."

"What sort of science would you need me to do for another A-level?"

"Maths would be best, but I accept not everyone copes with maths, especially at A-level or higher. It would need to be science such as Chemistry, I would probably accept Geology, because there is some overlap with the ecology element in biology or environmental science. The problem is that most courses are running now and even if you were able to get enrolled on one you'd be two months or more behind."

"I've left it a bit late, haven't I?" I could see the disappointment in her face and I was half expecting tears. "Is there no other way, Auntie Cathy?"

"Officially, no, but I've just had a thought. When did you get your A-level biology?"

"Eighteen months ago."

"And that was a B?"

"Yes."

"If I said to you to sit and pass one of our first year papers on biology in three months time with more than 60% I would give you a place next year. You would need to revise like made for the interim and I would arrange a copy of the part of the syllabus you'd be examined on, but it's mostly A-level standard and I will arrange a copy of a past paper so you can see the type of question, though obviously the questions will be different and the topics may be different as well. If you chose to accept the challenge, you would come here and sit the exam, which is three hours long, in my office. It may pay you to continue your nursery nurse course until then or even beyond to maintain your options. I will give you a placement and allow you some time to study during that placement. That is the best I can do, Sarah and I am stretching the rules about as far as I can."

"I appreciate that, Auntie Cathy, but I just don't know what to do now." She looked quite bemused by it all.

"Wait till Peter comes back and talk it over with him and let me know, but I need to know soon because we'll be in the thick of exams ourselves and that's always a busy time; besides, you'll need to get studying if you accepted the challenge to take our exam."

"And I could still work for you, as a placement?"

"Yes, and I will pay you something for anything you do, especially if it includes things like housework."

"Gosh, I do appreciate all you're offering but my head feels like it's spinning."

"It's a big decision an answer within a couple of days would suffice and just about give us time to prepare for it or not as you decide. It's entirely up to you, girl." She blushed as I called her girl and a fleeting smile ran across her face. She enjoyed being called it as I knew she would because many years ago, I did when it was used for the first times to me.

We were sitting as she wrestled with her decision when Peter returned. "So is everything sorted?" he asked.

"Not quite, my fault, Sarah is considering whether or not she would like to study at this university and I have made her a special offer, which she is fully understanding of. She needs to go back with you now and talk it over and to consider it against the other options she had and let me know within the next two days because I'll need to set things up and so will she."

"How long is this going to drag on, Cathy, because it seems each time she sees you you offer her something else?"

"This is the last option, Peter and she needs to make her decision in the next two days."

"Could you or someone give me a bit of tutoring, Auntie Cathy?" asked Sarah.

"I could probably find someone who could help you structure your revision. I won't do it because I'm probably going to be marking it." I didn't add, as you'll be staying in my house or at least working there, it would also be wiser to use someone else.

"If that's the case, Auntie Cathy, I want to take your exam and enrol here next year."

"What?" exclaimed Peter, "What exam?"

"I have made Sarah an offer to sit part of a first-year biology paper and if she passes it with 60% or more, I will forgo further A-levels and offer her a place here to study biology in one of the modules we offer here."

He looked anxiously at his niece, "You really want to do this?"

"I'm still going to do my placement with Auntie C, but she'll give me some time to study and pay me."

He looked at me and I nodded.

"Leave me your address and we'll get a letter out to you tomorrow," I said smiling and Sarah beamed a huge one back to me.

"I saw the dormice, Uncle Pete, I want to work with them instead of children."

He shook his head, "We'll wait for your formal offer, then."

I nodded and wished them goodbye."

Sarah turned round and flung herself at me, "Thank you so much, Auntie Cathy, I won't let you down."

"I don't believe you will." We hugged and she went off with Peter who was still shaking his head.

"I knew bringing you here would mess up everything, I just bloody knew it," he muttered as they went down the stairs.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3318 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####
This episode is dedicated to the memory of my good friend Anne Galliver who died today and who was a regular reader and encouragement to keep writing it.
#####

The next morning Diane saw the letter I'd drafted and she said, "The dormice got her then?" as she made my first working day cup of tea. I do about three letters to the pot.

"Don't they always?" I replied trying to make sense of a letter I'd received from Sussex University. I handed it to her, "read this and see what you make of it?"

"Dear Professor Watts,
Your application has been accepted and we'd like you to attend for interview on Wednesday 15th at 10.00am, please be prepared to provide a short presentation and answer questions on the following topics..." She read through to the end of the letter, "It looks like a job interview letter, are you leaving us then?"

"It's news to me if I am, I haven't applied for anything at Sussex though working with Dave Goulson and Fiona Matthews could prove interesting."

"Who are they?"

"Dave Goulson is an entomologist an expert on bees, especially bumblebees and Fiona Matthews used to be chair of the Mammal Society."

"Bumblebees? I love them but I didn't know you were interested in them?"

"I have done a couple of course with the Field Studies Council on bees over the years. They're obviously not my primary interest but I enjoy watching them and identifying them. I did some work on them during my first year as an undergrad at Sussex, mainly with mining bees, got a small piece in the BENHS journal which chuffed me to bits."

"The NHS journal?" she said looking bemused.

"No the BENHS, the British Entomological and Natural History Society, a long establish society who are mainly entomologically based but they do have the odd article about other things. I have a whole shelf of their journals at home, they're very well regarded especially in entomological circles."

"Is there no limit to your interests?"

"Not to the range but alas, there is to the time I can spare to pursue them."

"If you were retired, you could spend all day doing so," she said blushing, "I mean you keep saying you don't need to work for the money."

"I don't, Simon would happily support me in quite a luxurious lifestyle if I wanted it, but I like to work and to use that work to try and improve our understanding of the natural world and to share that with my students and the world at large. I also believe I can make a small difference in conserving habitats and biodiversity and thus improving the lot of wildlife. It's an uphill battle and some days it seems we slide down the slope and then just occasionally, someone takes notice of what I am saying and it all helps."

"You're such a wise person that I hang on every word, professor." She managed to say this with a dead pan face.

"Really?" I said appearing surprised because I was.

At this she burst into laughter, "What d'you think?"

I nodded looking crestfallen, "Madam, you cut me to the quick." But that only set her off laughing even more.

"Oh, go and make some tea you minx." I snapped at her and she walked out still chuckling like a demented banshee - I assume they chuckle but I haven't knowingly met one, so it's a guess.

I picked up the letter and called Sussex connecting with their HR department. "It's Cathy Watts from Portsmouth, I've received a letter from you inviting me to attend for an interview next Wednesday."

"What's the address, Mrs Watts? I'll try and see which job that's for."

"Portsmouth University."

"Is that Mrs or Dr Watts?"

"Try Professor," I offered feeling irritated, it seems my notoriety was less than I was led to believe, unless it's just in select circles, such as mammal surveying and Hampshire Constabulary.

"Ah, got it?" she said triumphantly as if she'd just recovered it from some ancient text lying abandoned in an ancient vault, in an ancient museum of an ancient university somewhere in an ancient town...you know what I mean.

"Are you confirming that you will be able to attend?" she trilled back at me. She sounded younger than Trish but obviously wasn't, unless they had work experience people in that office, which is unlikely, too much sensitive and personal information floating around in HR.

"I wasn't even aware I had applied and exactly what is the job I'm supposed to have applied for?"

"Oh, that's unusual, most people know what job they're after unless they're sending off hundreds of applications. You should really be aware of what job you're chasing, they usually require to write something about that on the application form."

"I'm aware of that, young lady, I am just unaware that I actually applied for any job as I already have one I quite enjoy." I do about once a week, enjoy it that is.

"Oh, that is very unusual, did you apply by accident or something?"

"I don't think I applied at all."

"Oh, I'm sure if you filled in a form you'd have some recollection unless it was one of dozens you sent out."

"I haven't sent out a single application form because I haven't filled one in, not in living memory."

"Did you write to the wrong university, this is Sussex, you know we're in Brighton."

"I know where you are, I was an undergraduate there for three years."

"Yeah, it's a lovely university, isn't it? Can't wait to get back here? We get this all the time."

"What was the post I supposedly applied for?"

"Oh that's easy, Chair of Biological and Ecological Sciences."

"Could you send me a copy of the job description and so on as I seem to lost it."

"Of course, Professor Watts, I'll put it in the post today."

"Thank you." I rang off envisioning the girl saying to her colleagues, 'Had a right one earlier, some dozy professor not even sure which job she'd applied for," and them all having a good laugh about it.

"I sent out the letter to Sarah, you really going to give her a chance to enrol to do biology with just two A-levels?"

"Is that what the letter says?"

"Yeah, conditional to her passing an exam in three months time."

"So, does that answer your question?"

"Yeah, I s'pose so." She dumped the mug of tea on my desk and went back out to hers. Then I heard her chattering with Nikki, who is her support - I know, go figure. I told her I'd get her support but I meant a new bra - only joking, Nikki has only been with us since November and she does the basic stuff like typing letters and supposedly making the tea, but her typing is so bad and her tea making even worse, Diane still does most of it. She can, however, Nikki, that is, answer the phone, although we can't always read the notes she leaves after she has answered the phone. I now have an ansafone which we set if Diane is out of the office. It will also take messages after hours such as death threats and other malicious messages usually from Russian accented voices.

To make the morning more interesting, Peter rang. "Cathy, why didn't you just offer her the placement by itself, she really doesn't know what she wants to do after seeing those bloody dormice, which I suspect you knew would happen. Didn't you?"

"Not for certain, but it does tend to have a certain effect upon young women."

"So you set out to screw her up, why? Is it some revenge for something I said or did in school?"

"No of course not, Peter, I simply wanted to be sure she knew what the options were and then had a chance to take other ones if it was her wish."

"But it's like going to the supermarket and finding they have 85 types of toothpaste so you go out without any and buy one from the corner shop because you only have to choose one from six or seven."

"I think that's an over simplification and you know it; you seemed intent on keeping her in her current course which she isn't enjoying as much as she thought she would and which isn't stretching her intellectually at all. I asked her if she'd ever thought about doing something more challenging and she hadn't because like many young women, she lacked confidence which I believe is also an effect of being transgender. That she has coped so far is a testament to her ability to deal with something much more demanding but also equally rewarding than becoming a nursery nurse, without wishing to denigrate that honourable occupation, but she would be wasted in it."

Peter sounded slightly irked, "You know what it's like being trans and trying to get a job, but at least it's an established vocation and I'm sure she'd have managed to find one when she qualified."

"What did you fancy doing when you left school and went off to uni?"

"I hadn't thought beyond getting a degree, I was never as dedicated as you were Cathy, but then I had an active social life as a school kid and a student."

I felt myself blushing as if he was indirectly castigating me for not having an active social life because I was a nerd. Or was he doing so because I had been transgender and thus socially ill at ease because I didn't know quite what I was or supported to find myself either at school or university or by my family and friends.

Besides Siân I suppose I had no friends at school unless you consider Marc Absalom, the one whose house got flooded and I went to help clean up but because I borrowed some wellies from Siân, his parents thought I was a girl and he sent me a copy of the photo his dad took. Despite the day I spent helping them, and his parents thinking he had a girlfriend, we were never really friends though he was one of the boys who was bigger than me but never insulted, teased or hit me and after I helped that day, he would acknowledge me with a smile, but that was all. No, I tell a lie, he once intervened when another boy was intending to punch my lights out and I escaped in their confrontation.

I have no idea if Sarah has a good social life, I hope she does. She's transitioned younger than I did and I'm sure that makes a difference, but whether or not it did to her I don't know, I suspect her seeming need to tell people almost guarantees she won't have too many boys interested in her unless they're possibly leaning towards being gay or are just curious. Girls can also be curious not appreciating we feel very much the same way they do, though not hindered by periods, which we all regret and envy - or probably would once or twice.

"Anyway, it looks as if she wants to go for this exam thing you offered her, you said you'd write to her."

"I have, it will be going out in the post today."

"Mind if I collect it, to save time?"

"No, I'll ask Diane to hold it for you."

"You said something about having someone to give her the odd tutorial as well."

"I shall arrange that, but I'll have to ask them first, we do have one or two to choose from, including our other technician, Hilary, who does some teaching with first years who haven't done much biology."

"What you get students who want to do biology who didn't study it at A-level?"

"We get some who have never studied any but because they can do maths, their maths teachers tell them they can pick up the biology as they go along, it's so easy."

"They obviously haven't studied biology, have they?"

"The teachers no, or not beyond GCSE level. When they get to degree level, the only bit they would understand is the maths involved, which sadly, our A-level biologists often struggle with."

"It's only a few equations, Cathy."

"It's a bit more than that, Peter, we do quite a bit of statistics at different times, including things like population modelling, especially if they go on to do some ecology."

"But that's just number crunching."

"Yes it is, but if you struggle with numbers, crunching them is quite difficult. I know I struggled until I found someone who could help me."

"Do you still make microscope slides? If I recall you were a dab hand at that."

"I teach students how to do it occasionally, but yes, I did it through my undergrad days and got an A+ for it."

"Not surprised, and you had such small and neat girly handwriting, your diagrams were always so neat as were you slide labels."

"That's a long time ago, Peter, my handwriting is as bad as most other people's these days. Look I have to go, I'll speak to Diane about you picking up the letter and I'll sort her out a tutor for occasional help."

"Okay, thanks, Cathy - oh, when do you want her to start her placement?"

"Tell her to call me at home and we'll agree something."

He rang off and I made notes of things that I had to do including organise a tutor, I wonder if Hilary would be interested?

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3319 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####

Merry Christmas to all my readers.

Debbie Matthews met me at the dormouse laboratory, "Any chance of another sewing lesson, sometime?"

"I suppose, what are you doing on Friday?" I said off the top of my head.

"Nothing as far as I know, that would be great."

"Could you do me a favour?" I asked blushing.

"If I can, Cathy, you've done me enough.

I regarded my companion, she'd settled down and become a very lovely young woman who'd been living with John, one of my technicians, for the best part of the year. They were still living in the house they rented from me, which was actually Cate's original home, although she'd only been there a matter of weeks before her mother died, taking her life after her husband and daughter were killed in a car crash. The coroner said suicide, I believed it was a broken heart that killed her and if you recall, she left me a note asking me to take care of Cate for her, a baby girl she had named after me.

"What would you like me to do?" she asked bringing me back from my rather sad memory of when Trish and I found her, Maria Drummond, that is. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, just remembering something a bit sad."

"What did you want me to do?"

"I want you to tutor a young woman so she can pass the first year written paper."

"But that's in three months," she gasped.

"Yes, she has A-level biology so has the wherewithal to pass it, just needs a few tutorials to refresh her and work through a couple of past papers."

"How many tutorials are we talking about?"

"Three or four and no more than ten say," I said smirking.

"Ten, that's one a week."

"What a good idea, she'd pass with flying colours with ten."

"Okay, who is she and why the fuss?"

"She's a young woman who I have offered a place to if she can pass this exam."

"Okay, I'll do it, I owe you loads already, as my surrogate mother cum boss."

"I'll pay you thirty pounds per tutorial."

"Why? I'll do them for nothing, for you, you know that."

"Exactly, you're not doing them for me, you're doing them for Sarah, that's the young woman who's going to be joining my course when she passes the exam after your coaching."

"Why is she special?"

"Once you meet her you'll understand why."

"When will that happen?"

"Come to dinner on Friday and meet her."

"Why aren't you coaching her?"

"She needs to be involved with someone other than me and I won't be marking her paper either."

"Okay, I'll invite her to dinner and also to stay for the sewing bee if she wishes to."

"Right, okay. Can I bring John?"

"Better not this time."

"Fine I'll tell him I'm coming sewing with you so he can go and see his mum. He'll be quite happy with that."

We chatted for a bit longer including dealing with a matter John had raised. I was glad he wasn't in the lab, but then remembered he was working with another lecturer this morning. "Is that all you wanted?" she asked me.

"Yes, I think so." She left a couple of minutes later, she did much of the first-year biology and especially those who hadn't done very much before coming to us, so she'd be ideal for coaching Sarah. She was also developing as a good teacher and that was the reason why I wanted her to do it, besides, I knew she could do with the extra cash as her car was in dock again. I did offer to loan her a bicycle but she just laughed at me. John cycled to work but she wouldn't be seen dead on a bike.

Walking back to my office prior to lunching with Daddy, I had a thought. On Friday, there would almost enough transwomen to form a society. There'd be me, Trish, Danni, Sarah, Debbie and possibly Sammi as well. If I let Danielle invite Cindy too, that would be seven plus David, though none of the non-family members would be aware that David was a transman.

Talk about cluster effect, it's almost off the scale. Oh well, tough. I could invite Julie as well, but she seems happy in her own place these days and I only see her about once a week, when she calls by or rings if she's busy. Danni sometimes goes to see her and Phoebe because they have quite a strong bond as sisters and she wouldn't let anyone else near her hair. Mind you, neither would I these days. She still does Debbie's as well, so I've helped to bring her in a bit of clientele as well.

Diane was busy looking at something that Nikki had typed and shaking her head. "Why did you say yes to her coming here?" I asked her, Diane that is.

"They were going to sack her and I thought that no one could be as useless as they said she was. She isn't..."

"I know, she's worse, but she is cheap," I said smirking, "I'm sure you'll eventually knock her into shape."

"I wish," she said, pretending to tear out her hair.

"Don't do that, you'll get dandruff on the carpet," I said quietly as I ran into my office before she could process what I'd said.

It appeared Nikki had been sent to get a pint of milk from the cafeteria, we'd run out mainly because she'd knocked it off the work top as Diane was making some teas. Apparently, she came back with the wrong type of milk, and this was now the third attempt to get a pint of semi-skimmed milk. At times I wondered if she had some sort of learning difficulty, but not according to personnel, she was just thick and we were her last chance before they sacked her.

I mentioned it to Stephanie who suggested from the symptoms I gave her that she could be ADHD or even mildly autistic and that her opinion was that she would improve if we kept her working to a very rigid programme. So far we hadn't managed to run the programme two days in succession, she always did something or something happened which prevented it. I'm sure she was good at something, apart from breaking things, including my dormouse mug, but I took it on the chin, hoping she'd eventually be able to do something useful, but I didn't really believe it.

The rest of the day was spent doing what I always did in the office, paperwork and yet more paperwork. I thought someone had declared we'd all be paper-free in offices by 2020, well it's nearly 2022 and we still have reams of dead trees floating about the place, and personally, I'd rather have it on a sheet of paper than a computer screen, or in a book rather than an ebook, but when it came to finding things quickly, nothing can beat a computer and I can do a literature search of the library or several libraries via Athens in seconds, which before would have taken weeks by hand or not been possible before, so in their place computers make a definite contribution. I can also get BBC iPlayer on it and you tube and a few other things, that would have been impossible before, so as long as the blessed things do what I want them to do, I'm happy to have machines helping make my life easier, except they don't because we spend the time, we could have been relaxing or recovering, doing extra things, usually the next thing on the list.

There was a crash outside and I heard Diane yell. I poked my head out of my office door and Nikki had dropped the full cartridge of photocopier toner all over the carpet and she was half-covered in it as well. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry and Diane was running around like a headless chicken. The cleaners are going to love us.

"Go outside and shake your clothing," I instructed Nikki, who looked at me as if she was going to burst into tears but on a second prompting she went off trailing fine black dust behind her. "Phone the estates department and see if they can send someone over with a vacuum cleaner," I instructed Diane who stopped running around in circles and did as I bid her. She replaced the handset a couple of minutes later. "Send her home, she needs to get that stuff off her and to avoid breathing it in. How does she come?" Answering my own question with, 'with difficulty'.

"Okay, professor, I'll make some more tea in a minute."

"Shut the door to the kitchenette, to keep the dust down." I decided I needed to do something and that would mean telling personnel we can no longer tolerate her here as she does too much damage. It was sad and all that but, we had a busy office to run and she was creating havoc.

"How does she come to work?" I asked Diane.

"By bus, I think."

"Here's ten pounds, tell her to get a cab home or better still call one for her, and tell her to take the rest of the day off. I'll speak to personnel later when I've had a cuppa to fortify me."

"You're going to sack her?" asked Diane looking alarmed.

"We can't afford to keep her, I mean look at the mayhem she's caused today, we haven't got time to babysit her, we're a university department not a nursery."

"Okay, I'll tell her we don't want her anymore."

"Leave it for one more day, but another one like today and I shall probably just be looking for help to dispose of the body."

She took the money and went in search of our office gremlin. She'd send her over to reception and send the cab there to collect her. While she was out one of the domestic staff appeared with a vacuum cleaner and a face mask and began sucking up the very fine powder that constitutes the toner in photocopiers and laser printers. I shut my door to try and keep the dust out and went back to my paperwork.

While I was reading something as an email attachment, I had a sudden thought and clicked on Google and looked up dyspraxia in adults, I called personnel or HR as they term themselves today.

"How can I help you, professor?" said the bland female voice.

"I'd like to see the full personal file on Nikki Fulbrite."

"Oh, can I ask why?"

"Yes you can, but I still want to see it."

"I'm sorry?" said the voice not so bland anymore and I decided teaching them how to speak was probably not the best thing to do at this moment.

"I want to see the file because I believe the girl has got something like dyspraxia and we need to see what we can do to help her."

"I can't reveal what might be in her personal details."

"Look, she's a nice kid but about as useful as a chocolate teapot and as clumsy as a rhinoceros in a china shop, I believe we need a proper diagnosis and some sort of programme put together to see if we can help her."

"We still can't reveal that sort of information, professor."

"I appreciate the data protection stuff but I feel we are not doing as much as we could for the girl and as her manager, I am acting on that responsibility. I shall speak to staff health."

"They won't be able to tell you anything either."

"No, but they may help me by seeing her and getting some sort of diagnosis sorted and then appropriate treatment." I put the phone down, the vacuum cleaner stopped outside and I went to look at the damage. The carpet was ruined and I wasn't sure if that could be sorted or needed replacing. I also wanted to speak to Diane about Nikki before I spoke to staff health who are probably all working from home.

The cleaner left toting their Henry* with them and at least the carpet no longer had a thick layer of black powder on it. "D'you think she could have dyspraxia?" I said to Diane who was washing mugs and plates in the kitchenette.

"What Nikki?" she asked rinsing off a mug under the tap.

"Yes, you know this uncoordinated movement thing?"

"Could do, shouldn't they have told us?"

"No, remember no one can reveal anything about anyone anymore, even if they've been a convicted mass murderer on parole."

"I don't think she's done that, Prof, unless it was by accident, you know pushed the wrong button or something."

"I'm going to ask staff health for some help, I assume they do other things as well as stick pins in people."

"They don't do acupuncture, do they?"

"I have no idea, but I meant Covid bashing."

"Oh, that sort of pin-sticking?"

I rolled my eyes and she smirked. "Just make the bloody tea," I said went back to my office.

"Did you call a cab for Nikki?"

"Just about to."

"Don't bother, I'll take her home."

"Eh?" she looked at me as if I'd just said something outlandish. I grabbed my coat and walked round to the front of the university and found Nikki standing around looking desolate.

"I'm really sorry, Professor, you won't sack me, will you?"

"No, I'm taking you home, just let me put a cloth on the seat will you?" I clicked open the boot and the old curtain I use if I have the dog in the car and laid it over the front passenger seat. Cream leather covered in toner dust didn't bear thinking about.

She eventually got into the car and took ages to get the seatbelt buckled. This girl had some sort of motor problem or coordinating motor skills. Having ascertained where she lived, I set off in that direction and she directed me to her house at Leigh Park, which is a huge housing estate.

I'd elicited from her that she lived with her mother, her father having left them a year or so after she was born. She tried to dissuade me from following her into the house, but I wanted to speak with her mother. The house was more or less as they'd been built back in the 1960s and could probably do with modernising. It was clean and tidy but in need of some redecoration.

Before Nikki could say anything, I introduced myself to Nikki's mum and said she'd had a bit of bad luck with a copier toner and needed to wash and change. Her mother understood and invited me into the lounge while she sent Nikki upstairs and told her to put her clothes into a plastic bag before getting into the shower.

She told me Nikki was a prem baby and had several problems and as she grew she'd got rather clumsy and was bullied through her schooldays because she was a bit slow and uncoordinated. The doctor had referred her for help but Nikki didn't like the person she was referred to and refused to go. She'd left school and had a number of jobs before ending up at the university on a special scheme for long term jobless.

"I suppose you're going to sack her as well, are you?"

"At first that was my initial reaction to the mayhem she seems to cause, but she's a nice enough kid and actually, I can see she has a problem and I want to see how we can help improve her life and turn her from a liability to an asset. I am therefore going to ask staff health to assist with a firm diagnosis or send her to someone who can do it for us and what we need to do to help her, as I'm sure it's possible."

With tears running down her face her mother looked at me and said, "You're the first one who's said anything like that, most just offer her money to go away. Thank you, Professor, thank you so much."

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3320 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####
A Happy New Year to both my readers.
It had been a busy week and Christmas was fast approaching. I managed, with Diane's persistence to get staff health to see Nikki and to liaise with her GP. He was going to arrange for her to see a specialist physio or occupational therapist, they would then do an assessment of her needs and refer back to some sort of consultant, possibly a neurologist, who could then organise treatment.

I'd also done some reading up on the subject and discovered that it was very variable in its presentation and symptoms suffered. Nikki was, unfortunately, a bit slow in terms of cognition at times but it was difficult for me, a rank amateur to decide if that was because she had a learning difficulty or her motor coordination caused her to have to consciously think about almost everything she did. We do so much automatically because it's been practised thousands of times, walking, bending down to pick things up, writing or typing and this is because repetition has set up nerve pathways that function without any conscious thought. Having set up the pathways, even after quite a time gap, the skills can be reused after a few reminders. Something like riding a bike, if you do it every day it's done with almost no thought because it's all automatic. We sometimes don't even look at the bike before we get on it, which caused a few problems to a friend who got on their bike without realising someone had pinched the saddle. Thankfully, they didn't do themselves much injury but it wasn't a prank, someone had pinched his rather expensive saddle.

If you haven't ridden for a while, you temporarily lose the muscle memory, which is actually the nerve pathway, but after a small number of rides, you recover the skills and feel much more confident on a bike again. Unfortunately, it can take a bit longer to stop your bum hurting and your legs aching but serves you right, you should cycle regularly.

In the case of Nikki, I doubt she'd be able to ride a bike without specialist help and given the carnage on the roads these days, I wouldn't even consider suggesting it to her, though possibly a trike might help her coordination but I don't honestly know, but at least we'd started the process for her and I hoped we'd be able to help achieve some degree of independence, she really is a lovely girl. Occasionally, I find it difficult to love her, after she broke my dormouse conference mug, I got half a dozen cheap ones from the carboot sale, so it no longer matters. Diane has brought in some old ones from her house and I did consider doing the same with our old ones except they end up in Tom's shed and he uses them for mixing small amounts of things for his gardening. I don't ask.

"Auntie Cathy, could I start work for you tomorrow?"

"I suppose so, but is it worth it, Christmas is here next weekend and you'll want to spend it with your family."

"I'd prefer to work if I could."

"Just a second," I picked up my study diary. "Right, it's the seventeenth today, Christmas and New Year's Day are on Saturdays. What time is Peter coming to collect you?"

"Uh, he's not he's out with his office Christmas dinner, I'll get the bus."

"We'll see. Now, please tell me why you'd rather be here over Christmas than with your family and will your mother object? I'm sure she'd like her daughter home for the holiday."

Sarah began to blush, "Actually, she won't, she is still having difficulty with me as a girl. You and the rest of your family don't and I hope I could start my placement and include Christmas as part of it, but if you don't want me to, I'll see if I can stay at Peter's."

"That bad is it?" I asked her hoping she wasn't trying it on. I like the girl and I'm trying to help her but she isn't my problem - yet. Oh shit, why does life do this to me? Why always me? Someone should have sorted Nikki out years ago, why did it fall to me? I suppose like Nigel Green says in Zulu to one of his young troopers who is frightened of the impending Zulu attack and asks, Why us? 'Cos we're 'ere, lad.' I suppose I was here too and I can't let things go, no wonder I'm always in trouble. I've been like it all my life, interfering, my dad used to call it. But I can't walk by on the other side, it's probably called 'Good Samaritan syndrome' or something similar.

"Yeah, but I'll ask Peter if I can stay there, so it's all right if you don't want me."

"Give me your mother's phone number," she wrote it down on the pad on my desk. "Now go and see if David needs any help." She nodded and went off to the kitchen.

"Is that Mrs Spears?" I said hoping her first name was not Britney.

"Yes, who's that?"

"I'm Cathy Cameron, your brother Peter asked me about giving a placement to Sarah for her course."

"Oh yeah, he said he had someone who could help, why is there a problem, apart from her being you know?"

"No I don't know, Mrs Spears."

"Oh I thought she had to tell you she's really a boy." I felt a mixture of emotions including shock, this was like a female version of my dad or Murray. I wanted to hit her, to rip her apart verbally, but then she might take it out on Sarah.

"Well no one is perfect, now I wish to employ her from tomorrow and I'm going to need her over Christmas and possibly New Year as well. I hope that is okay?"

"What will she be doing?"

"I have oodles of children so she'll be helping me look after them and a bit of housework. "

"She's happy with that is she?"

"Oh yes, very happy."

"Okay, I suppose so."

"Thank you. Goodbye." I rang off.

I wandered out to the kitchen where Sarah was helping David make a salad and they were chatting away as if they were old friends. I think she would fit in very well. Just then the doorbell rang and Livvie let Debbie in. "Ooh, that smells good, Cathy," she said taking off her coat.

"Salmon with David's own recipe watercress sauce," I replied, "It's amazing."

"Take me to your feeder," she said and we both walked towards the kitchen.

"Debbie, this is Sarah, Sarah, this is Debbie. If you hadn't worked it out, Sarah is your student, and Sarah, Debbie is your tutor."

"Oh," they both said almost in unison.

For the rest of the evening they got on fine, Debbie brought some sewing that she wanted to do and so we talked as we sewed. I had more mending to do - how do these girls manage to destroy school uniforms with such monotonous regularity. Not Danielle or Trish playing footie in the yard but Hannah and Livvie. Livvie, I mean little Miss Perfect was caught fighting in the girl's toilet, obviously with another girl. It transpired that the other girl had suggested that Danielle was a boy because no girl could be that good at soccer, but lots of boys were.

When Livvie called her a liar, the girl slapped her causing her to slip backwards and she caught her blazer on a tap and tore the seam. When the girl went to hit her again, she turned and back kicked her in the face. The squeals from both girls as they fought caused a teacher to investigate and she found the two screeching at each other like two owls.

The offending girl was sent off to hospital with a suspected broken jaw and Livvie was suspended. They sent for me and I collected her from school after being told what had apparently happened. Then I got Livvie's version and when Trish came home, David went to get them, she said the other girl had been overheard saying she was going to wipe the smile off Danielle Cameron's face and her ugly sisters. On further investigation, we discovered her brother's girlfriend had been dropped from the county team because Trish was a better player and it was well known that she was coached by Danielle, an English international.

"So why didn't she attack Danielle or Trish?" asked Sarah, who was looking at patterns.

"She was going to, but Danielle is two or more years older and probably too intimidating, and Trish is known to have had a fight and won it against an older girl, and Hannah was considered too tough to even contemplate fighting, so Livvie, who also plays football was next best and an opportunity arose before she had planned it through. I'd have thought that Livvie would have verbally destroyed her but when faced with physical injury, she replied in like fashion with interest.

"The girl denied it for a day or so but when Trish managed to get further evidence, like the name of the girl who'd lost her place to Trish, who was from another school, and she was confronted, she owned up despite her jaw being wired. Apparently, Trish Hannah and Livvie have been practising kick-boxing in the garage having watched either Stella or me working out - or reducing our frustrations."

"So what happened?" asked Debbie.

"Livvie was reinstated and told on no account must she kick anyone like that again."

"She was lucky," said Debbie.

"She actually told Trish she'd do a different kick next time. They both thought that was hilarious."

"She's a girl, isn't she?" chuckled Debbie.

"In the end, we explained to the girl's parents that we'd had several attempts on our children's lives and therefore we condoned then learning some form of self-defence and we considered the girl was lucky because Livvie would have punched her in the face and possibly broken her nose. The jaw was probably going to look better after the surgeon sorted it, a broken nose might not have and with her looks she needed all the help she can get."

That set Debbie off again and she cackled like an old witch. Of course, Sarah had to tell Debbie that she was transitioning and Debbie looked at me before telling her not to be so forthcoming with personal information as she had no need to know to teach her, even on a one to one basis.

"But I thought you should know, I mean if you'd realised I was actually a boy being alone with me, I mean..."

"Sarah, you are not a boy, okay. Even if you were, I've tutored young men twice your size and they were more frightened of me because I was in the position of power, being the teacher and being older."

"Oh, okay, just thought..." Sarah blushed deeply.

"Look, girl," said Debbie, "it's fine if you want to be out and up front with everyone, but why should you be? You look and act like a girl, okay you have a few rough edges to knock off but otherwise, you look as much a girl as anyone else."

"You don't have to justify yourself to anyone, if you believe yourself to be a girl, why shouldn't everyone else accept it?" I offered suddenly realising that the same could be said of people who weren't classic transsexuals like the three of us, I obviously had some thinking to do.

The other girls had allowed us some privacy so Debbie and Sarah could meet and chat. They both said they were looking forward to working together. I suggested as Sarah would be working here, they could use my study and that they had access to my books and journals if they needed them. Debbie could bring her own laptop and use our wifi and even access the university if necessary.

While Debbi went off to the loo, I suggested Sarah came with us when I took Debbie home and she could either stay at Peter's house or bring some stuff back with her and move into the room I'd allocated her, across the landing from Danni's. It was Julie's old room but I knew now she'd not come home to live again and that was okay. We still had contact, I was still her mum and she my daughter, but like Sammi they were growing up and fleeing the nest - as it should be.

"You mean I can stay tonight? Oh wow, thank you, Auntie Cathy." She was wrapped around me when Debbie returned.

"Am I interrupting something?" she asked.

"Yes, I mean no. Auntie Cathy has said I can move in tonight, we're going to get my stuff when she takes you home."

"Right, thanks for helping me sort out my little catastrophe," said Debbie. She'd made an error taking up a pair of trousers which I was able to correct quite easily and she hemmed them before she left, all she had to do now was press them and she said she'd do that at home. "I suppose I'd better get back and see what the cat has done."

"Oh you have a cat?" said Sarah.

"Yeah, she's a monster, I had to pick up a vole when I got home yesterday, half of it was in the hall the rest in my bedroom."

"Ugh," said Sarah.

"Where's your psycho?" Debbie asked me and as if in answer to her question the feline tornado shot past us and up the stairs as if she had the devil after her. It wasn't the case, just a dumb spaniel from whom she'd pinched a chew stick thingy made of rawhide. Apparently, Tom was giving one to Kiki when the monster moggie flashed through taking it from his hand and before the dopy dog even saw it. He just laughed, it was probably too tough for her teeth but he had another one he gave the dog who ended up happy.

We took Debbi home and then off to Peter's house, quite a nice one in Southsea where Sarah rushed in packed an overnight bag and telling Peter's wife what was happening. I spoke with her as well, a nice woman called Anne. I thought if I showed myself it would be official not Sarah shooting off to sleep with her boyfriend or girlfriend. That made me wonder if putting her opposite Danielle was such a good idea. Oh well, I'd done it now. Danielle knows how to behave and I'm sure Sarah does too, she has a lot to lose if she upsets me and she may be young but she's not stupid and she's older than Danni in any case. Oh dear, was that another worry?

No, I decided, she's a nice girl and trustworthy and besides with her coursework to finish for the nursery nurse course, and her actual duties plus her biology revision, she wouldn't have either the time or the energy - I'd make sure of that.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3321 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####
Sarah was upstairs with Danni and one or two f the others when Stella arrived back. She scowled at me and silently pushed past me and went up to her rooms. She has two adjoining rooms with an en suite. They're quite large rooms so she has a bed and sofa in her room with a small table and her girls have single beds and a table and two chairs plus a small sofa in their room.

I can only guess that either someone had annoyed her or she'd discovered I'd allowed another gender different person to share the house with us. That I'd not been able to recruit someone to help me with housework and occasional child sitting, didn't seem to figure in her reasoning, just I'd let another weirdo come to stay with us.

I let her cool off and said nothing. Sarah came down with Danni, they'd been hanging up her clothes and putting the bags in the top of the wardrobe. Each of the bedrooms have wardrobes, a bed, a washbasin and a small table and chair, plus an easy chair of some sort. The tables mean that the occupant can sit and read or work on a laptop or tablet or even write in a book. Sarah was going to need that facility as well as somewhere she could call her own for her stay with us.

"Wassup with Antie Stella?" asked Danni who said she'd said hello and was ignored by her usually favourite aunt.

"Not sure, but she's certainly got a wasp in her knickers," I replied switching the kettle on. "Anyone for tea?" The two girls answered that they would like one. I continued making the beverages while they chatted between themselves. "Once we've drunk this I'll show you what I want to do for me and where everything's kept. Danni knows most of it, so if you get stuck, ask her or the older girls or David. He's pretty good and as you discovered earlier, very approachable.

"It's like living in a self-contained community," said Sarah sipping her tea.

"It's a family," I replied, "so even more tightly bound than a community."

"Yeah, Mum's the boss," said Danni smirking.

"Oh, I understand that," said Sarah, "She pays me and is helping me to get to uni next year, so I have no problem with that."

"Yeah, she did the same with Jacquie, din't you, Mum?"

"Din't? I think I'm wasting my money at that wretched school, none of you talk properly. The word is, didn't."

"Oh, I din't know that," said Danni trying to wind me up.

Stella came down and saw Sarah in the kitchen and turned about and went back out again. I couldn't make my mind up whether to go and speak to her or see if her puerile behaviour was going to continue.

"What's the matter with her?" asked Livvie wandering into the kitchen after Stella stalked out.

"I think her pomposity just exploded," said Danni.

"Oops," squeaked Livvie as Stella stormed back into the kitchen and screeched at our football genius.

"Think it's funny, do you, living with a load of freaks and weirdos, I told you I was unhappy with you employing another one but you went ahead and did it."

"Stella, that is totally uncalled for, the only one who is acting strangely is you." I challenged my sister in law.

"Right that does it, either she goes or I do," she said almost hysterically pointing at Sarah.

"Is that your final word on this?" I asked.

"Yes," she snapped folding her arms.

"I'd think a bit more carefully if I were you," I said quietly trying to give her an out but she wasn't in the mood for discussion or diplomacy.

"So which is it then?" she demanded.

"The girl is staying," said placing myself between them.

"What? You'd support an outsider against your family?"

"Sarah is not an outsider, she's coming here to help me with the house and to study."

"Why can't you find a proper girl, there must be thousands of them out there?"

"I tried if you remember, no one was interested." I wasn't giving way to her bombast and unless she calmed down, I'd be more likely to show her the door, Stella that is."

"Well, I'm not paying anything towards her, and I don't want her anywhere near my girls."

"For goodness sake, Stella will you listen to yourself?" I said which was probably the wrong thing but I was sick of having her challenging my position in the house. I made the decisions regarding the domestic arrangements including hiring and firing of staff."

"Yes, the last time you hired a young woman you ended up adopting her," she almost growled at me.

"You were quite happy to avail yourself of her assistance, if I recall," I retorted.

"Well, that won't happen with this creature," she gesticulated at the table.

"Where are your manners, Stella, for a public school educated woman, they seem signally absent.

"What?" she screeched, "as if you'd know anyway," she sneered.

"Sit down and have a cup of tea you dingbat, before you explode," I said pointing at the table, "Let's discuss this like adults. Sarah is on the payroll, so calm down and let's discuss this like two adults."

She huffed and puffed eventually sat down avoiding the space next to Sarah.

"Have I done anything to offend you, Lady Cameron?" asked Sarah in a very reasonable voice, "because if I have, I apologise unreservedly."

Stella stared at her then looked away.

"Well answer the girl," I insisted.

"No," snapped Stella.

"I'm the one who did that," I said passing my sister in law a mug of tea.

"I'm sorry you don't like me," said Sarah with tears now dripping down her face.

"I don't dislike you," said Stella seeing that she'd hurt the girl.

"I can't help who or what I am," Sarah was now weeping and Danni put her arm around her and they both rose from the table and went out of the kitchen.

I sat down and said nothing as I knew anything I added would likely set Stella off like an incendiary bomb. She stared at her mug on the table and a tear dripped off her chin and plopped in her lap. I let her reflect on what had happened, I wasn't going to make it easy but neither was I trying to make it worse. We sat in silence for several minutes, then she looked at me wit tears running down her face.

"She's going to stay, isn't she?"

"I hope so."

"I made a fool of myself, didn't I?"

"Is that a rhetorical question?"

She shrugged. "I'm sorry I made a scene, it was wrong of me and she's right, she can't help who or what she is, anymore than you can."

"It's not me you need to apologise to," I said.

"Mummy, Sarah's packing all her clothes," said a breathless Livvie, "Danni's trying to stop her."

"Oh," I gasped, I'd hoped she wouldn't.

"I'll go," said Stella and went to go upstairs.

"Is that wise?" asked Livvie.

I shrugged and followed as quickly as I could. I got to Sarah's room moments after Stella. "I owe you an apology," she said to the youngster, "and I'd like you to stay."

"What after you said? I may be transgender but I try to conduct myself like a lady." Sarah was crying again, "How could you say such awful things to me and in front of Auntie Cathy, now she's a true lady."

I thought I saw Stella twitch for a moment but she didn't. "Look, I'm sorry, I've had an awful day, which is no excuse but it didn't help. I realise you can't help who or what you are and I shouldn't have said what I did. I take it all back and I'd like you to stay, Cathy needs you and I see you get on well with all the others. If anyone should leave it should be me."

"But you can't Lady Cameron, you have two little girls, it would be better if I went. I'll get a cab and go back to Peter's. I'll phone Anne and say it hasn't worked out."

"Right," I said firmly," You and you in my study please," I pointed to Stella and Sarah. "Make us three mugs of tea, Danielle, will you?" As I followed them downstairs I told Livvie to rehang Sarah's clothing in the wardrobe, pushing my luck, perhaps but I'm known as a bit of a risk taker.

Once the three of us were in my study I shut the door. "No one leaves here until we've sorted this out. I am not interested in what's gone on before just what is now and in the future. Who wants to start?"

Stella raised her finger at Sarah indicating she should keep quiet. "I can't undo what happened out there but I'd like us to try and put it behind us. I'd like Sarah to stay and to help around the place and that includes my children at times, for which I'll pay towards her salary." I nearly fell over, Stella spending her own money, what else will happen?

"I hope that she can forgive me and I'll do everything I can to make her welcome."

Sarah's red eyes looked on in astonishment. "I'm not sure I want to stay, I'm sorry, Auntie Cathy, I knew I shouldn't have pushed you to have me over Christmas."

"You didn't, Sarah, I discussed it with your mother, if you recall and I decided having an extra pair of hands at Christmas would be useful. So it was my decision."

"Sounds like a good one," said Stella wiping her eyes with the tissues she saw on the coffee table.

Sarah looked as if she wasn't at all sure she believed her. In her shoes, I'd probably have felt the same. It was an irrational attack and so unlike Stella, who if you will remember encouraged me to become Cathy and never ceased to be my major supporter. I know at times she's grumbled about the numbers of transgender children I had allowed or encouraged to live with us, but she knew it was because no one else would have them and really, she was a very kind hearted soul.

The door was knocked and Danielle handed me a tray of teas. I thanked her and shut the door.

"I don't know what to say," said Sarah.

"I'd like you to stay," said Stella, "nothing like that will ever happen again, I promise."

"Christmas is usually good fun here, but with so many of us, it's also hard work. You up for a bit of fun and hard work?" I asked her directly.

She paused for a moment before nodding her response. We finished drinking our teas and I asked Stella and Sarah to shake hands to confirm their truce. Stella pulled her into a hug and thanked her for staying.

I was about to open the door and announce the outcome of our peace negotiations when Stella said, "Do you have a tablet, you know, iPad thingies?"

Sarah shook her head, "No I have my lappie."

"I'll get you one for Christmas as a peace offering."

"That's not necessary, really it isn't, Lady Cameron," said Sarah.

"I insist and my name is Stella."

"Thank you, La-um-Stella." They both smiled and went out of my study with arms linked, so pre-empting my announcement of a peace treaty. In an hour, Sarah was helping Puddin' with something when I overheard her say to Sarah, "You call Auntie Cathy, Auntie, why don't you call my mummy Auntie as well?"

Stella overheard the question and kept quietly in the background. "Because your mummy asked me to call her by her name. I call Cathy, Auntie Cathie because she's like a second mother to me."

"I think you should call mummy Auntie, too."

"I don't think I've earned that appellation, Pud," Stella said to her daughter, "I'm not a natural angel, like your auntie."

"No, you're a star," I said and had to turn away before Puddin' saw me smirking.

I got everyone to agree that we didn't mention the incident to anyone who hadn't been present, which meant Simon, Daddy and the girls who were out with them taht day. As far as I know, nothing was said about it, so some of us can keep a secret.

It was two weeks before Christmas and while I'd bought many of my presents online, Mr Bezos didn't get all of it. I needed to go shopping in shops, and since the lock down I'd worn a mask while in shops or anywhere else indoors with strangers, for instance moving about the university. Sadly, not all the students followed suit, some of them believing that Omicron was a mild infection, though we had notices up advising they had vaccinations and that people were still in hospital beds because they hadn't been vaccinated.

Henry continued to stay well, though he'd eased off his schedule and had hired a new PA, a man, to help him do all he needed. He now had three PAs, his long time one and two younger ones. He made sure they knew, that they were his assistants and people like Simon and I as directors and board members, were still several levels above them. Henry had learned from Simon that we'd employed a young help around the home and who was also a nursery nurse and was trying to do some study to enter university. He apparently told Si, that he was glad I'd found someone however temporary it was because he'd thought I was looking a bit peaky at the last board meeting. That might have been because I'd been up half the night revising a paper I'd written for the meeting because I came into some new data from newly published research. I also discovered that hedgehogs suffer from MRSA infections - not surprising given their ecology. What I didn't know, was that they also carried a fungus that secreted an antibiotic which killed the bacteria off - until the bacteria evolved to deal with the antibiotic and developed immunity, thereby showing the constant competition between such things in nature and not just in medicine.

Oh well, back to trying to get some time to finish my Christmas shopping, I do love this silly season, not.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3322 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####

For the next couple of days Stella and Sarah were friendly with each other and I hoped the problem had solved itself. I hadn't pushed Stella to explain her odd behaviour hoping that in time she'd tell me what had set her off. So far she hadn't. I managed to get Sammi to include Sarah on my payroll, which means that all I had to do was fill in the number of hours she did and pay rate and her software would do the rest, including paying so much into a pension fund for her.

She probably wouldn't earn enough to pay any tax in this financial year but the software would sort that out and also send the required information to the Inland Revenue.

I'd done all my shopping, David had ordered a huge shopping order which was due to arrive today, which would fill all the freezers and fridges and food cupboards for the next couple of weeks, all we'd need then were perishables like milk or vegetables and of the latter we had loads in the freezer, though we prefer fresh.

I had Danni wrapping most of the presents I was giving to everyone else as she doesn't mind doing it. I was leading the work party cleaning through the house and David was sorting food for storage or cooking. It was Thursday and Christmas eve tomorrow. The weather was dreary and I felt about as full of the joys of Christmas as a hot-cross bun.

Sarah was on childcare duties and due to finish at lunchtime when she was going out with Danielle to finish her shopping. While the rest were busy I asked her if she had enough money to do her shopping, she wasn't sure. "Okay, I've paid you for two weeks for December and that is in your account."

"But I won't have done two weeks by the end of the month," she said surprised by my announcement .

"I'll probably be asking you to do extra hours over Christmas, so if we call that quits, then you have some money available now."

"Are you sure, Auntie Cathy? You've been so kind to me and I don't want to take advantage of you."

"Nor I you, so yes I am sure." So while I forced the older children into slave labour she kept the younger ones from discovering their fate when they got older. Stella was working but she seemed happy to let Sarah look after her two giving her some cash, though I did make sure Stella knew that Sarah was only working the morning, she seemed okay with that as she knew we'd look after them, most probably through Meema, who still loved being with either her dad or the little ones.

By lunch time, we'd pretty well done everything and tomorrow would only require a quick flit with a duster and vacuum cleaner and we'd be ready for Christmas. In the afternoon we'd be doing the tree and decorations.

David produced a lovely Spanish omelette for lunch, which he knew we all liked and scoffed down with a side salad, Sarah commenting the food was brilliant, better than anywhere she'd been before. Tonight, Debbie was coming over for a tutorial with her and also coming to dinner. I'd loaned her the money to get her car fixed, which I'd take off the debt at thirty pounds a time for each tutorial. Given the recent weather, she was rather glad to get her car back in working order. People sometimes say I'm too soft or generous but I see it as being pragmatic, if people are able function as i want them, all I'm doing is keeping the wheels greased. Technically, I suppose I should declare the money I'm paying Debbie, but it's too much fiddle so I'll write it off as a gift. Sarah isn't aware that I'm paying for the tutorials possibly assuming the university is paying for them.

Tom came home after he'd had his curry at his usual venue and he helped us bring the tree in. It took four of us pulling the pot up onto a post mover thing - a small cart with castors on and then to get the tree into the lounge after washing the pot off with a pressure hose. I'd laid out some polythene sheets then the 'saucer' for the pot, which is about a metre across and the same high, then it was a huff and puff to get the pot to the saucer and unloaded without breaking either. The tree was about seven feet tall, so was a bit of a struggle to get through the door ways. Next year we might have to think about a different tree or an artificial one.

Once the tree was in place, I left it to Livvie and Trish to decorate while Hannah helped me put up all our cards on ribbons we stuck to the backs of doors, we did about three or four ribbons to the door. An hour later, we stopped for a cuppa and included David in the break, seeing as we were eating his mince pies, it seemed a good idea.

Dinner was going to pork steaks in a cider and cream sauce, and for all of us, I think David had to order half a pig, I know he had quite a large tray of meat loaded in the oven which was cooking gently, we'd eat about seven. Simon and Sammi wouldn't be home tonight but hoped to be home early tomorrow. Officially, they'd then be on four days holiday, but I know Sammi would be on call all over the period as would two or three of her team members as assorted scallywags and other ne'er do wells wouldn't take a holiday, especially Russian hackers, who seemed to be completely without any compunction whatsoever. I know Simon would sign death warrants on any of them for the amount of trouble and time they cost the bank and they wotk with law enforcement agencies all over the world trying to catch the nefarious scumbags. Sadly, the arrest rate is very low and the conviction rate even lower.

I know Sammi occasionally sends cyber-bombs back to them, which will damage their equipment, but it only seems to hold them up for days or a week or two. Part of her enjoys the contest but it also takes quite a lot out of her and she insists she now has a weekend off every month and a day a week off during the week as well. I think she needs more time than that but she seems to manage on it and her salary has increased year on year as she has become so valuable to the bank. I sometimes thinks she ought to have a bodyguard because if it became known that she was all that was stopping the hackers from taking down the bank, someone might try to take her out to make it easier. That is one of my nightmares, that any of our children should be pawns or targets in such awful games and I encourage all of them to take self defence lessons, and in the forms that don't take prisoners, or look to inflict serious damage on would-be assailants. I know Sammi and her girlfriend both take these lessons.

The youngsters we send to kickboxing and Danielle is extremely good at it, I suppose it goes with her fitness and leg strength from her soccer, Trish, Livvie, Meems and Hannah are all good at it too and we just have to remind them that it's only for use in extreme circumstances and not for bashing other girls in school or on the soccer pitch. So far they seem to be able to distinguish the difference.

Dinner was good, well, David made it, of course it was good. Sarah and Debbie used my study for their tutorial which they both seemed to enjoy and I spent time with my Christmas decorators and Danni playing a board game in the dining room. The excitement amongst the younger children was rising, tomorrow night they'd be like bottles of pop.

I suppose all the exercise and housework sent me off to sleep quite quickly and I was up early on the Friday, to get last minute shopping and the newspapers. Danni came with me and we grabbed a couple more six pintas of milk, and a couple more thick sliced wholemeal loaves as well as my Guardian and the i newspapers. If all else failed to amuse me, I had a couple of crosswords to look at.

I also collected a Christmas wreath to put on the front door and a smaller one on the back door, plus a bouquet of flowers to take with Tom to put on the grave as we do every year. It was almost a routine and one I was happy to maintain as it reminded me of my absent daughter and him of his a deceased daughter and wife. It was probably my imagination, but it also focused my thoughts on my parents and Simon's mother and it almost felt as if they all congregated at the grave and we're able to receive our love. Fanciful, but it makes me feel better and Trish frequently says she sees things there or Billie appears to her to say she liked the flowers, sometimes it's Danni she appears to, very occasionally me.
We were back by ten and I left hanging the wreaths to Danni while I ran the vacuum around and Trish flitted a duster here and there. There would be no more cleaning done unless something happened to need sorting out, like the year we had soot everywhere.

Daddy had gone to check the dormice and have his curry and would be home after to snooze in his study, I'd spoken to Diane and wished her a merry Christmas and told her to look for her prezzie in my desk drawer, I got her some perfume. She'd finish lunchtime and apart from essential staff the university would be closed for the four days. I kept my fingers that I wouldn't be called out for something this holiday, a benefit of being the equivalent of a dean and thus on a list of names that the police held to call for access to areas or to assist in assessing if things were missing after break-ins or fires.

As the countdown to Christmas wound down, the excitement wound up and the youngsters were practically bouncing off the walls by tea time and Sarah was earning her money. Danielle was earning some too, as she was wrapping Stella's presents and Simon had already hired her to do his after dinner.

Julie and Phoebe would be over the next day for dinner and had taken their daily LFT and had remained Covid negative, so we'd be having a real houseful tomorrow. I know Henry and Monica were coming for lunch and so was Jacquie, which meant everyone would be here. My in laws were staying at the hotel and would drive down there tonight or tomorrow morning. They were very interested in making the acquaintance of my new help and they also knew, thanks to Stella, that Sarah was a transwoman. I did ask Simon to make sure they didn't spill any of the beans about who else here had been also labelled that way once. In other words I was hoping there'd be no unintentional disclosures. I'd also told Sarah that her medical history was not a matter for disclosure to anyone in this house, everyone who needed to know did so and no one should need to be told. I think she got the message as I was very direct. She blushed and thanked me.

It was dark by half past three and certainly so when Sammi and Simon arrived and we had salmon for dinner, it was gorgeous. David left immediately after eating as he wanted to watch something on the telly and he'd also be over early tomorrow to cook a turkey about the size of an ostrich.

Simon was pleased to see me and wanted to show me how much, so I let him have his wicked way without much resistance. I enjoyed it, not as much as he did, but we get different things from our intimacy.

Christmas day was crazy. We were all awake by six, Cate and Lizzie, Pud and Fiona made sure of that, and besides we needed breakfast out of the way to clear the kitchen for cooking the huge meal we had planned for lunch.

We had breakfast after washing and dressing, the children got their presents and Stella had honoured her promise to Sarah and got her an iPad. Simon and I gave her a little car, a VW Fox, he'd organised it but I gave him half the cost of it. She was so overcome that she ran up to her room and burst into tears. I sent Danni to go and check on her a bit later.

After the madness of the present distribution, and we were down a bit on the usual excesses quite deliberately, Tom, Trish and I went up to the cemetery and laid the bouquet I'd bought on the grave. Trish told us that they all loved it.

It was the only bit of sanity we had because once we got back it was all systems go. Trish and Hannah did the table, laying out nearly twenty places. David was staying to dinner this year, so the table would be pretty full, and I joked at least we knew the food would be safe to eat if the cook was staying. Thankfully, David took it in good part or possibly didn't hear me say it.

Somehow, at one-thirty pm, we all sat down to eat an enormous Christmas dinner and it was delicious. We were still pushing food around an hour later but most had already reached satiation some while before. Henry was toasting everyone with the case of Prosecco he'd brought with him. Sarah had calmed down and had joined in the fun and followed me out to the kitchen when I went to make a tray of teas.

"I'm just blown away with the car, I don't know what to say, I really don't."

"Just accept it in the spirit in which it's given, Simon had the chance of it at a good price and knew that you didn't have a car, so we bought it between us."
"I know you're well off and all that, but it is just so much to give a relative stranger, you really are the kindest person I've ever met, Auntie Cathy." She hugged me and started to sniff again.

"Hey, no more sniffles, okay? Here help me make these teas..." and so ended Christmas 2021, it petering out as a combination of too much food and glasses of wine took their toll. It was mainly the men who zonked, though Julie wasn't especially active after lunch and Phoebe nodded off cuddling Lizzie. They hadn't been in the house for at least a couple of months, having their own flat and Julie was curious to see what Sarah had done with her old bedroom, Sarah seemed happy to show her that no much had changed, but that was before dinner and Julie's postprandial lethargy had set in.

Danni and I sat in the kitchen and hugged each other and wished each other Merry Christmas before we started recruiting volunteers to help clear up the mess. Yes, as they say, every action has a consequence and now we had to deal with it.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3323 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####
After the hullabaloo of Christmas, New Year was very quiet. I believe that Julie, Sammi and Phoebe were going out on the town and I allowed Danni and Sarah to go with them on the understanding the older girls would look after them. It made me smile that of the five of them, Phoebe was the only biological female, though you'd never know it without a medical exam or chromosome test.

The taxi brought the three who were living here back at about 2.00 am briefly waking me but I soon went back to sleep knowing they were home. The usual fireworks at midnight were noisy but I felt probably fewer than in previous years. I don't like fireworks, especially after what nearly happened to Julie, so I'm irritated by those who do use them. I always feel they're imposing themselves on others without a by your leave. But then people seem to be increasingly selfish and Covid hasn't helped. Apparently, the numbers of people flying and refusing to wear masks is increasing and they are often abusive to airline staff. Surely they should know if it is a condition of buying the ticket or boarding the plane and comply with it. If they don't perhaps they should show them the door while still airborne.

I really don't understand people these days are they stupid, pig-headed, or anarchic? Those who are most ill in hospital through Covid are the unvaccinated, and while some may have been so through casualness, others are there because they deliberately refused the vaccination. What I don't get is the thousands of NHS staff who refused because it was made mandatory. I don't know the issues but it seems common sense to me that unless you have a valid reason for not being vaccinated, especially in a high risk job, which many NHS ones are, then you should be called to explain yourself to your manager.

We haven't forced staff at the university to have the vaccines but we do encourage them to do so, often a little word from someone who has lost someone to the disease is enough and we also remind them of the staff we've lost, who have died or are on long-term sickness through catching the virus. Personally, I think it's both irresponsible and inconsiderate not to be vaccinated and also to refuse to wear face masks in public areas of the university. like corridors or lecture theatres. As it looks as if the government is wanting things to return to normal, it seems likely we'll doing our lectures and other work with students within a few weeks.

I know staff and students are grumbling about wearing masks and using hand sanitiser gel so I've commissioned some posters thanking people for wearing masks by having a picture of an old lady sitting in a wheel chair with a nurse wearing a mask behind her, the caption reading, 'Thank you for having consideration for me.'

Talking of consideration, I asked Diane where Nikki was, it seemed she'd been doing quite well with exercises until she fell doing one of them and broke her arm. As she has her arm in a rigid harness thing with her elbow sticking out, she can't attend for work. Seems like my good Samaritan act is causing others as much harm as good. When I said this to Diane, she told me off in no uncertain terms, "Cathy, without your intervention, Nikki would be having no treatment and thus have very little chance of improving. At least with what you've managed to get for her, she now has a chance of making her life easier and more successful. She's a lovely kid and thinks you are the most wonderful woman on earth." Watching me blush and stutter, she added, "But then we all do in this department."

I turned back to my office and called for tea as she cackled behind me like an extra for Macbeth. The mound of paperwork had propagated itself over the holiday despite one or other of us coming in and dealing with the urgent items. But then it's a well known fact that paperwork breeds while no one is looking at it, it's like those stone angel things in Dr Who that move while no one is looking at them. We had an episode of that at New Year where the Doctor dealt with the Daleks yet again, though in a sort of Groundhog day fashion. It would seem the Daleks are like lots of humans, only half as clever as they think they are. I suppose I should be included in that somewhere.

Debbie came by as Daddy was on his way to take me to lunch and she got invited as well as did Diane, so today was an expensive one for Daddy. He never complains, well not about money, he did when the restaurant didn't have his chicken curry available and he had to have beef instead. We don't have that much beef in our diets, even with mince David tends to use minced turkey or pork which is lower in fat and we don't eat that much processed meat like bacon or ham or even sausages.

In the end he actually enjoyed his curry and his moan about it, I suppose it gave him something real to complain about albeit something rather trivial. Usually he doesn't complain that much, more the odd whinge that the girls are doing something or I have. I'm aware that in being myself I do things with which he doesn't always agree and sometimes it takes a while for me to realise it. If I know I've upset him I usually apologise because I'm so fond of him and he has been very generous to me and mine. The girls love him to bits as well, but that doesn't stop them annoying him because they're young and self-absorbed. We have thousands of students who are just the same, and while I don't wish them to lose their childhood, some of them are in their twenties and should know better, or would if their parents had exercised proper boundaries.

I know, that for some it's their first time away from home, so we do tend to indulge them during their first term, after that we expect them to have a bit more control and to act like adults because they tell us they want us to treat them as such, right.

They're not all like it, and hopefully the numbers of problem students decreases with time, they either grow up or leave. All universities have their failures and we do take it very seriously but we can only work with people, we will neither do it for them or force them to change, we're not the army, we're a place of learning (sometimes).

The main item on the menu that day was Sarah. Debbie seemed pleased with her willingness to learn and thought she should achieve the level I required, however, she said she felt guilty because she hadn't disclosed to Sarah that she was also transsexual. I told her that she had been but was now legally female, as she'd done the Gender Recognition Panel thing and been accepted by them. She confessed that since her troubles at Sussex and then her outing here caused by the hate-brigade of TERFs at Sussex, she hadn't thought much about it until that professor of philosophy had resigned over accusations of transphobia, which I understood - the allegations after hearing her speak on Radio 4's Woman's Hour, she was a TERF and a lesbian. I have nothing against her personally nor her being a radical feminist but she is an exclusionist whereas I'm an inclusionist. Okay, I'm a romantic, I want everyone to be happy with themselves and each other while knowing it's impossible because some folks seem unable to be happy and others are only happy when making others miserable. I admit I intensely dislike the latter because I see it as some sort of perversity. I know, I suffer from a Goody-Two shoes mentality at times but enjoying the discomfort of others is not something to be admired, it's one of the worst of human emotions - though we all do it, even me. Yeah, can you believe they called me all sorts of names at Sussex, including Mary Poppins, because I was 'practically perfect in every way.' When I got a first, they felt justified and someone actually crossed my name out on the list and wrote in Mary Poppins.

We had an interesting lunch, the food was the same as ever, except Daddy's, but the discussion was good including the story that tumble dryers produce thousands of minute fibres, especially plastic ones from man-made fabrics, which are present in the air, and in fresh and sea water. Apparently, they produce significantly more than even washing machines, so that is something I shall be considering if we could do without at home or at least reducing its use. If you must use them, and I accept that sometimes they seem necessary, it's better to use them with a full load as proportionally, smaller loads produce more fibres.

The fibres are mistaken as food by invertebrates and they in turn are eaten by larger creatures such as fish or birds and each time one of them is predated by something bigger, the amount of fibres gets bigger. It's like the accumulation of toxins, especially fat soluble ones which build up in larger animals, especially oceanic ones like seals and whales and some fish, the mammals especially tend to have large amounts of body fat to protect them from the cold and that provides opportunity for the toxins to accumulate in them. Sometimes they are indicated as involved in diseases or misadventures these animals suffer. However, perhaps the worst fibres of the lot are those dumped by fishing boats, especially French and Spanish ones in the form of ghost netting.

Big trawlers can drag fifty or more miles of the stuff behind them and mishaps happen where some of the net is lost accidentally. However, it also seems that these continental trawlers have been dumping it as well as other illegal rubbish in the North Sea. As you can imagine if this is near the bottom of the ocean things which are swimming down there, hunting or whatever, can become entangled and drown, sometimes inflicting severe damage with the fine netting upon themselves as they struggle to escape. If people like the French and Spanish are doing it, it's very likely that the Chinese and other fleets are also doing it, so everywhere we look humans are abusing and destroying the environment and its denizens. We really are despicable as a species and it always seems that there are ten or more times of despoilers to those trying make things right. The worst thing, much of it is due to laziness or sheer wilful ignorance.

"Why do we bother?" asked Debbie as we drove back to the university. Tom indicated I should answer her question rather than himself.

"Why? because if we don't things will be even worse and biodiversity will suffer even more, if we believe in the right of other species to share this planet with us in reasonable conditions, you can't ignore things, you have to work to educate the ignorant in the hope that they will take up the issue with the stupid and change their minds. If we wait for governments to do anything, we'll wait forever, they use green issues as sound bites but do as little as possible towards them unless they are seeking votes or support, or as a distraction for more nefarious activities. Some politicians are only interested in what enables them to climb higher up the greasy pole, but there are one or two decent ones who do care and we have to feed them with data to expose the activities of others and the state of play in our biological systems.

"We've lost more species in the past twenty five years than we had the previous hundred and fifty and unless something is done internationally, it's only going to get worse."

"So is what we do of any value at all?" asked Debbie.

"Of course it is, we're educating the people who are going to have to sort it out, we have to fill them with passion as well as purpose, we have to give them the skills to show how bad things are but also to work out how to improve them. Sadly Covid has interfered with some of that and also distracted governments from doing what they should, it has, however, demonstrated quite clearly what happens when humans are engaged in activities in places they shouldn't be."

"Oh aye," said Tom.

"Yes, while we may never know how Covid got into the human population in China, whether it was from bush-meat or lax laboratory bio-security, we know that the source of the closest form to that which caused the first epidemic is found in bats. We shouldn't be either eating them or disturbing them. After forests, which are pretty impenetrable, have been visited by loggers, much of it illegally, then all sorts of other activities follow them, mining, hunting, ranching, soya bean growers and so on.

"If governments protected these areas instead of taking kickbacks, because nearly all governments are corrupt these days, including our own, most European ones, the US, India, China, Russia plus places like Brazil, there would be a chance we could sort the planet and protect biodiversity which we need to survive ourselves. But most of them prefer to take the kickbacks. One day, probably after it's too late, these scumbags will be called to account by desperate nations. I hope to live long enough to see it happen."

"Why don't you stand against them, for the Green Party?" asked Debbie.

"If I actually believed they were any better than the others, I might support them but I don't," we arrived at the university and walked back to our respective appointments possibly feeling less optimistic than before we ate.

"Is it that bad?" asked Diane as we entered our suite.

"Actually, it's probably far worse but they hide much of the data from people like me."

"Perhaps Debbie is right then, you should stand up and denounce it."

"They'd only destroy me or kill me in an unfortunate accident, remember Dr Kelly. The vested interests have more power than the green movement are ever likely to have unless it gets so bad everyone is affected and forced to act. Until then, we're stuck with watching our own decline and eventual demise from greed and stupidity."

"I'd better put the kettle on then..." she said heading towards the little kitchenette we have.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3324 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####
My despondency didn't improve when I saw a paper about pods of Orcas off Western Australia whose preferred meals were blue whales. It's been estimated before man started hunting these leviathans, there may have been as many as 300,000 blue whales, nowadays, numbers are estimated to be between 20 and 30 thousand.

Orcas tend to be quite specific feeders usually groups of them feed on the smaller whales, seals, pemguins or fish, but this population of Western Oz are much more adaptable to different prey and that includes the world's largest animal, the blue whale. Reading the description of the hunt and the kill was quite upsetting, so I won't detail any of it here, and of course, larger animals tend to take more killing, so it goes on for some time before the prey actually dies, where it feeds every carnivore within miles after the killer whales have sated themselves, up to fifty of them have been counted at such a kill, most of which are the smaller females, but which may be feeding their own young.

Remember whales are mammals, so their flesh is high in protein and also they are rich in fat, both of which are desirable to other whales, birds and fish. Apparently the only whale pretty well immune to such attacks is the humpback, which has large, very strong flippers which have been known to kill such things as great white sharks, so no sensible orca messes with them. Currently, their main predator is man and they are protected for the moment, though the Japanese, Norwegians and one or two other nations, who hunt whales against global public opinion, apparently in the name of science (bollocks) could change that at any time.

When I think about nations whaling and the Faroe Islands annual dolphin cull, I think I understand why this planet is heading for an extinction event, humans are just too fucking stupid and selfish to stop their nefarious activities and they feel justified to keep doing them. And who's going to stop them? Boris Johnson or Trump or that moron in Brazil? I doubt it, they're already soaked in more sleaze than a sewer microbe.

Still when I get very low like now, overworked and under pressure from all sorts of directions, I think about my girls which cheers me up and then I find out what they've been up to and I do wonder if Simon is rich enough to buy me a desert island, somewhere warm but not hot, which has dormice and lots of insects and birds I can study and forget about thousands of students and millions of moronic people.

As a desert island with dormice won't happen, Simon won't buy it for me and being an ecologist means I couldn't introduce alien species somewhere just for my own amusement, part of the problem we have now is because Victorians and Edwardians did just that, or unscrupulous types introduced them to farm for their skins or fur, and even dumber ones released them to run wild and destroy native species. Mink, especially come to mind and thanks to the animal activists, who were driven by good intentions but very little else, certainly not ecological reasoning, we have many less water voles, which are critically endangered in places and are protected, though feral American mink seem unaware of this fact. Pity they don't eat grey squirrels.

Eventually, I gave up trying to beat the paperwork and beat it home instead, where I remembered I was hosting another sewing bee. So this is what life in the fast lane is all about is it, or did I mishear Faslane, where we park our nuclear subs when Russian learner submariners are crashing into them.

On the way home, the news was either full of the No 10 party scandals, or the possibility that Russian might invade Ukraine and we would introduce even more sanctions. They haven't worked so far and unless we stop Putin being allowed any air to breathe, I can't see it working at all. I mean the Germans don't want to do anything because they import lots of gas from Russia, and no NATO country is going to get involved in a war so what's it all about? Posturing and piss I think sums it up and the thought of Boris and Putin talking about it makes me want to laugh, two compulsive liars and sociopaths swapping stories or threats. What are we going to do, stop laundering all their dirty money? The world has gone completely bonkers and the lunatics are well in charge of the asylums.

Sarah had collected the girls from school using the people carrier thing, David watching the little ones while she did so. He had apparently, cut his foot, stepping on a piece of glass when he went to the bathroom. He had dropped his tooth glass and it broke and he missed a piece - the first time anyway, he found it later after it lacerated his foot.

Sarah did some first aid on it and he went by cab to the A&E at the QA. They dressed it for him and told him not to drive. He was also told to rest it but he managed to cook our dinner and sit with his foot up much of the time. He came over to the house because he knew Sarah was there and he was fed up with being on his own.

I have no complaints about Sarah, she's been a real trooper, though I'm aware we shall lose her in October when she goes to my university, naturally, I'll distance myself from her when that happens, especially with things like exams and assignments.

When I got home, I spoke to the girls who were pleased to see me, enough to stop watching telly for twenty seconds, yeah that long. Sarah seemed to avoid me and it wasn't until David had a quiet word with me, that I understood. She'd been dusting in my study and Mr Whitehead's journal fell off the shelf and fell open at the first Macbeth play I did.

I made myself a cuppa and one for Sarah and asked Danni to find her and bring her to my study. Oh well, she'd have found out some time wouldn't she? David had also cued Danni in her discovery and so she knew in case we had to involve someone closer to her own age.

Sarah knew why I'd asked her to come to see me, though I felt like a headmistress dealing with a problem pupil. She sat opposite me on one of the sofas and sipped her tea, she looked very anxious.

"David told me that you discovered something about my history today," I used as my opening gambit.

"I'm sorry, Auntie Cathy, it just fell off the shelf, I didn't go prying, I was doing some dusting while David made us a sandwich for lunch."

"So how much do you know?"

"I puzzled over the Charlotte Watts bit then realised you'd changed your name but then I realised that you had changed more than your name."

"I have indeed, it's not top secret but it was a long time ago and my legal status is female so I don't feel that I have to explain or justify myself, though one or two people have felt let down by my not telling them.

"As I see it, we can either walk about with our hearts on our sleeve crusading or we can stand back, let the novelty die down and then get on with our lives as ordinary women. Apart from not being able to menstruate and thus bear offspring, I see myself as a non-breeding female."

"I see you as a female as well, Auntie Cathy, you're so lovely and so female in everything, I can't believe you weren't always one. You are very lucky, you really do look like a natural woman."

"I'm AIS, so never had a male puberty, my body doesn't do testosterone."

"So you were obviously meant to be a girl."

"I like to think so, but that may just be self-delusion. Some people have thought so over the years but mostly, I seem to get by."

"Danni told me that she was a boy a couple of years ago."

"So you can see you're amongst friends and why we kept telling you to stop telling everyone if they don't absolutely need to know."

"I think I'm beginning to realise that. When they all said they were trans that time we had dinner here, were they telling the truth? I can't believe you have so many trans girls here."

"I won't tell you if anyone else is, because if they are they've been re-registered as female and are no longer trans. I don't feel I have the right to disclose anything about any of the girls but I can tell there are also some biological females here as well as we neo-females."

"Can I pretend I didn't see the book and go back to thinking of you and Danni as natural women?"

"You can't unlearn something like that but you can decide what you wish to do about it, and I will repeat that every woman and girl living here is legally female."

"Well, I know they're all too young to have had surgery as you have to wait until you're eighteen, except Danielle, she told me she was a special case and had been injured in her genitals and they had to operate. She also told me she wasn't sure if she had been trans but was now female for the rest of her life, but she had adapted and was enjoying being a young woman, including dating boys."

"Her football training stops her doing too much socialising and as people are beginning to recognise her talent, she gets approached in the street for her autograph, so we have to be careful about stalkers."

"She's really beautiful, I can't believe she was a boy, maybe she's like you?"

"No, she has talent and such coordination of movement and thinking, I could never achieve what she has."

"She said you were brilliant and a good racing cyclist."

"She's being kind. Trish and Livvie are brilliant, I live in their shadows hoping I can stop them coming to grief because of their intelligence. As for cycling, I was never that good, just better than Danni for a while, I suspect she'd beat me now as she keeps fit and I spend more time sitting at a computer or desk. I'm also older than her, obviously being her adopted mum, so that doesn't help either."

"I think you're wonderful, so does Uncle Peter, he knew about you, didn't he and that was why he wanted you to give me a job, because you'd understand."

"You don't have to have experienced something to try and understand or empathise with someone, I've had gay people on my staff and as friends, I still have. My oldest friend is a gay woman I knew in school and she had me sussed before I did myself. I knew I was a girl in nursery aged three or four but the reaction from others was not nice so I hid it, like everyone does, or most of us do. My dad tried to beat it out of me."

"What Professor Agnew?" Sarah gasped, "but he's such a nice old man."

"Tom is a delightful old man, no my birth father, who died a few years ago. We were reconciled before he died but he had awful problems with me when I came back from uni because I had had a small degree of freedom and the genie wasn't going back into the bottle, however, it was Stella who launched me into transitioning but I declined to tell her that story just now."

She eventually went off to beat my children or something and I discovered my tea was cold, as I did so Danni came in, "Everything okay?" she asked.

"Of course, thank you for also outing yourself, but you didn't need to."

"I thought with Sarah, It was pretty safe, we're becoming good friends, so I don't think she's any sort of risk."

"I'm sure she isn't but you also need to learn to forget about your past unless it become essential to declare it."

"Okay, hey your tea's cold."

"I know, you couldn't make a fresh one could you while I go and change?"

"We still having sewing bee, tonight?"

"As far as I know, why?"

"Can Cindy come and is Debbie coming?"

"Yes to both, now go and make that tea while I zip up and change."

Ten minutes later I was wearing jeans and a jumper and drinking the tea Danni had brought me. I was trying to sort out my sewing basket, I'd put it away in a rush last time and had bits all over the place. I'm not the world's tidiest person but when I'm working, I need to have a degree of order, so my bike shed is very organised, when I was doing lab work, my lab was with everything in its place, it makes for easier working, so I spent the time up until dinner sorting out the cantilever box, I call my sewing basket. It was my mum's and I have lots of sentimental attachment to it as well as it being very useful and it holds loads of pins and needles as well as reels of cotton, buttons, zips, hooks and eyes and lots more.

When I did more sewing, I used to go to car boot sales and markets and buy all sorts of bits of sewing things, tapes and bias binding, velcro and dressmaker's chalk for alterations, you name it, I bought it and besides my sewing basket overflowing, I have a cupboard in my study with my electric sewing machine and the stuff I can't get into my basket, like materials and paper patterns, there's a box of those in there too.

The gong sounded and I closed up my basket and went to see what delicacy David had made for us today.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3325 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####
David had done one of my favourites, salmon in watercress sauce with new potatoes, baby carrots and petits pois. He brought in a dish full of the veg with knobs of butter on the top. It felt so decadent as I remembered my student days when I'd make a tub of the cheapest margarine last as long as possible. I didn't eat beans on toast all the time, I ate lots of fresh vegetables as well together with coleslaw and lots of apples. I actually ate quite well for a small budget and probably more healthily than I do now because I can afford to eat anything I want, including meat. Consequently, I am heavier than I was in my student days, though I'm also aware that age and being post-operative, taking HRT and lifestyle are also factors.

"You going to eat or daydream?" asked Stella who was waiting for me to pass the new potatoes.

"Sorry," I said and gave her the bowl.

"What were you thinking of, it was obviously interesting as you were well away?" Stella asked.

"I was looking at this lovely meal and thinking about how I ate when I was at uni."

"What did you eat then, Auntie Cathy?" Sarah asked her curiosity piqued.

"If she hadn't bought that stupid bike, she'd have had plenty of money," Stella wasn't beating about the bush.

"Oh this sounds interesting," said Sarah, the rest of them yawned, they'd heard it a dozen times before.

"I used most of my student loan to buy a carbon fibre road bike."

"Tell her how much it cost," instructed Stella.

"About four thousand." I said blushing, "but it was pretty well top of the range, Shimano Dura ace..."

"That's a lot of money for a bicycle," observed Sarah.

"It was a lot of bike, only weighed about 5kg."

"Wow, that's light," she exclaimed and Trish yawned again.

"It was plastic rubbish," Stella teased.

"Plastic, they don't make bikes out of plastic, do they?" Sarah wasn't sure if we were pulling her leg.

"Carbon fibre, actually, which is very light and rigid."

"Falls apart if you hit it against something," Stella was still in playful mood.

"Does it?" asked Sarah.

"It doesn't do impacts very well, Stella crashed her car into the back of me and knocked me into a hedge, it was how we met."

"And it broke your bike?"

"Not quite it destroyed the rear wheel, but the rest of it was okay. Know I crashed it later when some idiot in a white van and a car decided to drive like lunatics down Portsdown hill and crashed, I jumped off the bike because I couldn't stop and the van ran over the bike. I was lucky really, the van driver hit a tree and died."

"Gosh, Auntie Cathy, you do lead an interesting life."

"Boring," muttered Trish and Livvie and Hannah giggled.

I concentrated on my meal and the chatter became more widespread. Sarah did ask me about my diet as a student and I said that I ate lots of bread and pasta for carbs and tins of beans or tuna for protein.

"She lives on tuna," cackled Stella.

"But it's got mercury in it, you're not supposed to eat too much of it," said Sarah anxiously.

"Yeah, I've been eating it for so long, that I actually grow when it gets warmer," I said repeating my only joke. Sarah looked bemused.

"Think thermometers," said Stella, "the mercury rises when the temperature does."

"Oh, yeah," said Sarah blushing, "we use the electronic ones these days."

"So do we in hospitals and the old ones had alcohol in them not mercury, it's too poisonous."

"Actually, mercury itself isn't poisonous because it's pretty inert, mercuric salts are extremely poisonous, but not pure metallic mercury." Stella looked at me as if I was mad. "To start with, you can't pick mercury up with your hands, it runs away from you."

Judging by the expressions on their faces, neither Stella nor Sarah knew that or had tried to do so like we did in our chemistry class in Bristol. But then, our chemistry teacher was quite inventive as well as entertaining and I learned a lot from him. Nowadays, pupils just sit around watching while the teacher performs the experiment because the schools are so risk-averse and terrified of lawsuits. Universities are almost as bad and our technicians and lecturers have to remind first-year students that dissection instruments and needles tend to be rather sharp and sticking a dissecting needle in your finger after it's been holding a dead rat to the dissecting board, is probably not a good thing, although the rat is probably cleaner than the student.

The last time I dissected anything, it was an already dead dormouse and we trying to establish a cause of death. All I remember was that the liver looked enlarged and did ask for some slides to be made of sections of the liver but I have no idea what happened to them. Dan may know but I wouldn't bet on it.

After dinner, we repaired to my study to do our sewing bee and Sarah pestered me for more details of Stella crashing into my bike. Trish had decided to go and do her homework instead.

So I explained that I was transitioning and taking oestrogens and had little boobs which I hid with a conforming bandage and that Stella had discovered in the bath that I was sort of half and half, my dangly bits were as yet attached to my body, despite her best efforts with her car.

They were all laughing at my description and I'm not sure how much sewing was done. When I then related the story of Simon fancying me, I was wearing Stella's cast-offs at this stage, and then me tripping up and pouring a glass of red wine over his best shirt and falling on top of him.

"So how did uncle Peter know about you from school?" asked Sarah. I was obviously the entertainment for the evening and Debbie was enjoying it all too.

"I was always being mistaken for being a girl and that coupled with very long hair, which I grew to annoy my dad as well as to pander to my own needs, and the headmaster, who was an absolute ogre, loathed me a feeling that was mutual. I told them of the pond dipping episode and helping to rescue the old man who'd fallen and how it got in the local paper and Murray was very angry about it.

Then about how he made me do the Lady Macbeth role in the school play when they'd usually used girls from the girl's school next door. He had hoped to make me so uncomfortable that I left, but I was determined that I wouldn't let him drive me away, so he upped the ante and made me wear the costume for a month while we were rehearsing - nowadays, he'd be done for abuse or cruelty, then he got away with it probably because my father agreed with him.

Sarah was shocked when she heard how Siân loaned me her uniform and I wore it to school with makeup and how Murray nearly had a stroke he was so angry, he was practically frothing at the mouth. I told them that I was a target for all the bullies but I sometimes got my own back, one of them broke his hand punching at me and I dodged it, so he hit the wall. Another ran into a door that I just happened to open onto him and laid him out, another I knocked a desk over and it landed on his foot and broke some metatarsals - he was in plaster for a few weeks. I told them how most of the boys and one or two teachers, called me Charlotte and I was made to present one of the woman guests visiting the school with a bouquet, can't remember what that was for now. All in all, I must have spent three months wearing dresses or skirts to school, which seeing as it was a boy's school and apart from one or two teachers, I was the only one who was dressed as female made me a rather obvious target.

Sarah was astonished, "And I thought I had it rough, it was nothing like your experiences."

"I was okay until the TERFS found out at Sussex," said Debbie realising at the same moment that she hadn't told Sarah she was also TS.

"What you're trans too?" gasped our surprised nanny.

"Yeah, surprised you hadn't picked up on, Cathy did with milliseconds, didn't you boss?"

I shrugged, happy to let someone else provide the entertainment, happy that Cindy, who was expected to come, cried off because she had a bit of a cold. Danni was happy to hear about how Debbie dealt with the press by turning up looking like a model after a makeover by Julie and Phoebe. I well remembered that day and how surprised I'd been and how proud I was of her in taking them on head-on, partly because she didn't want to expose me.

I'd not had any problem at Sussex because I hadn't declared myself as either sex and half thought I was a grungy girl wearing boys clothes and the rest thought I was a gay boy. My body was already showing some signs of my AIS as my hips and bum were too tight in boy's trousers so I had to wear women's, my waist was also slim and I suppose I had bigger nipples than most boys and slight fatty deposits underneath them, but it wasn't until I took oestrogens that my body really developed and it was all female.

"Why did they harass you at Sussex?" asked Sarah of Debbie.

"Well, Cathy got away with it because they weren't sure about her, I made the changeover in full view of everyone, and Professor Herbert was very supportive but the TERFS got in on the act and spread their poison as far and wide as they could, they even tried it on here, but Cathy threw them out."

"'Scuse my ignorance, what are TERFs?"

"Oh you don't know the jargon?" said Debbie surprised that Sarah didn't know. "Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists."

"Ah, got it," said Sarah nodding, "Wasn't there something recently about some woman professor at Sussex who was one of those?"

"There was, she was on Woman's Hour, on Radio 4 and I thought she was a psycho lesbian by the end of the interview, she was pretending to seem so understanding but the underlying message was she had no tolerance of transsexual women and refused to acknowledge that we were should even be called women, god help anyone who was trans and regarded themselves as lesbian, that really showed her true colours."

"Was she lesbian, then?" asked Sarah and Debbie nearly collapsed laughing, even Danni was smirking, she'd obviously heard something of the story.

"Just a tad," I answered.

"She was one of the angry brigade at Sussex and Prof Herbert asked Cathy to give me a temporary job. She employed me as a technician and I got into teaching here, all thanks to Cathy, she even rents me a house."

"Goodness, I am in the best household in the area for being transgendered," said Sarah blushing while looking at us anew. That was why Uncle Peter asked you to take me on, wasn't it."

"I'm not sure how much he knows, but he was one of the boys at school who tolerated my eccentricities unlike most of them. He also heard that I was working at the university and worked out who I was, although he wasn't sure until he met me. He went to UWE at Bristol and my secretary knew him from there, he was a lab technician and the rest is history."

"You know how much he respects and admires you, Auntie Cathy?"

"So he said but I didn't know if that was a ruse to get you a job or if it was genuine."

"It's genuine, he was amazed that you'd coped with the abuse in school, got a degree and then did a master's here and also a PhD, considering your history, and then to become a professor and marry into the richest family in the country and get a title as well, he was well impressed."

"He didn't know who I'd married, so he was quite surprised when I told him."

"It's like a fairytale, talk about Cinderella, she's got nothing on you, Auntie."

"Would her carriage be pulled by dormice in Mummy's fairytale?" chirped Danni, possibly to show she was still awake or even as a device to keep her awake.

"Oh definitely," replied Debbie.

"Who wants a cuppa?" I asked, all the talking I'd done was making my mouth dry and it would give me a chance to wind up the bee and I could get the kids to bed, especially as their nanny was sitting here with me. Thus ended another day in paradise.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3326 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####
Danni and Sarah helped me get the rest of my child labour force to bed. Debbie had gone after arranging her next tutorial with Sarah, who told me she was enjoying them. I just warned her to stay focused on the biology and not get too interested in asking about Debbie's experiences. "If I get a place with you at university, I'm not going to have the same problems that Debbie had, am I? I mean she said they followed her here, the TERFs that is, and it was what stirred up her confrontation with the press."

"Debbie was teaching here, so that gave the transphobes grounds, at least in their narrow minds, reasons to question if she should be allowed to influence students' minds. My answer was that if she wasn't making them think, I wouldn't employ her."

"I don't understand Auntie Cathy, weren't you agreeing with them?"

"No, I was very much disagreeing with them, university teachers are supposed to be expanding their student's minds, teaching them how to think more critically and use the scientific process to look at any or everything. Those who don't get the message fully, think that science is something they only do in class or their assignments; it isn't, it's a process that you use to help you understand things, answer questions. It isn't just about learning facts, that's basically knowledge, it's building on what you know by using that information to move your understanding forward by asking how, what, where and when and if you have answered those correctly, you might understand why something happens, but not always because why things happen sometimes isn't always understandable. At least not with the way we currently do science."

"Gosh, Auntie Cathy, I'd always thought science was about discovering why something happens, I'd never thought it might not be possible."

"It may be possible, but it may not be worth the effort or cost to explore the issue. Life is finite, although at your age it feels as if it goes on forever, it doesn't and it's important to try and use your time as usefully as you can when you're young because you'll never quite have the same level of energy and cognitive skills that you have when you're young.

"You're in your prime, it only lasts twenty years or so if you're lucky, and although there are compensations as we get older in terms of experience and knowledge base, we don't function as quickly or have the energy we did when younger. In fact I read a report in the paper earlier that sometimes older people, that is over 60s can have problems because their brains are cluttered with data that they can't sort through it as effectively as they when younger because the clutter was smaller."

"Well, Professor Agnew doesn't seem to have that problem, does he and I'm sure you don't either."

"He is a bit older than me, Sarah, like thirty-odd years."

"Oops," she said blushing, "Sorry, I didn't mean it to come out that way."

I smiled to show I wasn't offended, "Tom is a remarkable old fellow, like many academics, although he's well past retirement, he still has a very fine mind which is as sharp as a razor."

"Och, hen, waur did I put yon paper on thae university council meeting?"

I looked at Sarah and we both smiled, you can always rely on parents, children or animals to prove you wrong. "You had it in your hand when I gave you the socks I darned."

"Och, sae I did, whit wud I do wi'oot ye?" He went off to look for the missing document in his sock drawer, which wouldn't be the first time he'd done something similar and let's face it, we can all do it if we're thinking about two things at the same time.

"So he does forget things then?" observed Sarah.

"We all do, but if you talk to him about anything he's working on or on zoology in general, he'll quote you chapter and verse much more than I could. I could probably tell you which book or paper to look at, or what to search for in the library, but he pretty well knows it all. He's wonderful really and we all love him to bits at the way he copes with all the noise, mess and clutter we brought with us when we came to live with him."

"He told me that he was a miserable and lonely old man until you came into his life and enriched it and then you gave him grandchildren, which he said the daughter he lost would probably never have done. Did you know her?"

"No, he has told me bits about her, she was extremely clever and studied things like Anglo-Saxon literature and was killed by a drunk driver hitting her car as she was going back to Oxford where she was doing a PhD."

"That's so sad," Sarah looked all in, so I told her to go to bed. She nodded, pecked me on the cheek and wished me goodnight. She was certainly a lovely young woman.

After Sarah had gone up to her bed, I was pleased that Debbie and Danni had told her not to tell anyone who didn't need to know about her history of being transgendered as no one at the university would know except possibly student health in case something happened to her like her becoming ill or needing advice on some health-related matter, such as mental health which everyone seems to suffer from these days, made worse in many cases by Covid and the ensuing lockdowns and isolations that happened to so many.

However, It isn't nice to see how so many people seem to get angry and abusive or even violent since we started to get back into regular life, if we ever do because things have changed. We have notices up all over the campus advising students and everyone else that management of the university would not tolerate abuse of its staff and students by anyone and that they would take action against anyone who was deemed to be so. I'd had a message that one of our students had insulted and abused one of the lab technicians because she couldn't use one of our microscopes to catch up on some work she hadn't done. The technician told her that the lab was going to be in use by a class in an hour's time and that she'd have to use one of the prep rooms to work in. Normally, students who've got behind tend to be grateful for any chance to catch up, but this one lost it and called James all sorts of names and told him where to stick his microscope and offered to show him before leaving shouting abuse all the while. Apparently, James got quite upset. He's a large chap but soft as butter and he tries to help as much as he can.

Debbie was running the class in the lab and she was fuming when she found out what had happened. She left a message with Diane who sent it on to me. Thankfully, she'd calmed down before she came over tonight but it was why she didn't come to dinner as she usually would.

I would be investigating the case on Monday and told her to leave it to me, but unless the student has a very good reason for her behaviour, she will be suspended and the matter will be passed on to the university council to decide her fate. I usually only dismiss students for academic failure or things like failure to attend lectures on a regular basis. You'd be surprised how many do it, though we usually give them notice that we are aware of their absence. That is usually enough to get an improvement, for a while anyway.

We obviously get students who are struggling with the course for a variety of reasons and if they let us know we try to help them get back up to speed. If it's through illness or other circumstances beyond their control, we may give them a chance to re-sit some of the course, if it's because of poor commitment and effort, we will help them if they promise to change their behaviour but otherwise, we point out that we don't refund fees and the level of debt is bad enough if you get a good degree, at least it may seem worth it. If you don't get a degree, you've wasted time and money and have nothing useful to show for it. If they can't take that message on board, we wonder how and why they came to university in the first place.

Simon and I went to bed but we were both too tired waste energy on gymnastics and instead talked for a while as we cwtched, then fell asleep. He'd been full of the fact that after beating England at Murrayfield last weekend, they were favourites to win against Wales at Cardiff. I advised caution as Wales in Cardiff were difficult to beat.

The next morning after a later than usual breakfast, no one seemed that interested in getting up very early, I took a carload of daughters shopping making sure that we each had a facemask to wear in the shops. I read in the Guardian that the most likely people to die from complications were those with suppressed immunity, often from treatment for things like cancer, leukaemia or organ transplants and I feel that although restrictions are being relaxed we could continue to try and avoid passing on any symptomless virus we might be carrying.

We got back in time for lunch and for a change we had fish and chips. David makes his own breadcrumbs and the way he grills the fish tastes gorgeous, because I'm such a gannet for his fish, I try not to eat too many chips, not that I'm given much chance as they disappear very quickly to the locusts who make up my family.

Danni was playing soccer for Reading tomorrow at Bristol and rather than have her go to Reading to go on the coach to Bristol, I offered to take her and while I was there do a quick check on the house. We spoke to her manager and he agreed that he wanted her playing well not stressed out by needless travel so she was feeling quite good as she went with her dad to watch the rugby. David accompanied them as I agreed to sort out dinner - I must be mad, because I never seem to learn, but we have to keep David on board as he is a genius in the kitchen and Henry would offer him far more than we pay him to defect to the hotel. Thankfully, he seems happy with us.

Sarah had the afternoon off and had driven over to Peter's house to speak with her uncle about some matters that concerned her. She wanted to discuss them with me, but as I'm her employer that unless they related to her employment she'd be better talking them over with him.

"You're so much more than an employer, you really are like an auntie or substitute mother, sometimes you seem more interested in me than my mother does. She was so relieved that I stayed here for Christmas because she didn't have to look at me and be reminded what a disappointment I was."

"I'm sure she doesn't really feel that, but unfortunately not everyone seems able to deal with us when we transition, I know my dad had problems, though to be fair to him, he did eventually deal with his discomfort, although I accept that might have been because he was weakened by a stroke or that he played along by giving me the reactions he thought I wanted so I didn't abandon him."

"Why is life so unfair, Auntie Cathy, we can't help who we are anymore than anyone else can, but we seem to be open to all sorts of abuse because of it."

"It seems to be the way things are, but not everyone is abusive and some are even trying actively to improve things, I see the retiring bishop of Liverpool is calling for the Church of England to accept same-sex marriages and those of transgender people too."

"I thought you were married in a church? I saw the photos in your study when I dusted."

"I was but it involved in getting a number of permissions."

"But that's stupid, you're female by law and in every way I can think of, you should have a right to marry in a church."

"It takes time to change things sometimes but since a senior bishop is talking about bringing the church into the modern world, I hope things will eventually change. Remember that religion is something that people feel is part of their core system."

"I think I'm a non-believer like you, Auntie Cathy, so does my core system have spare capacity?"

I smiled at her joke, especially given the article I'd told her about older minds getting overfilled with data. "I'm sure your core system is as beautiful as the rest of you, now off you go and see Peter."

I was busy making a cheese filling to have on our jacket potatoes helped by Trish and Livvie, when Simon came scowling into the kitchen. "Bloody Welsh, they beat us by three bloody points thanks to Biggar's drop goal."

"I did tell you not to dismiss the Welsh in Cardiff."

"Okay, point taken, what's for tea, do you want a cup and where's Sarah, losing the cook for the afternoon is bad enough, much more of this and we'll have a fullscale mutiny on our hands."

"Just as David needs some time off, so does Sarah and yes I'd love a cuppa."

"We're having cheesy jackets, Daddy," piped Livvie.

"The only cheesy jacket I ever had your mother made me dispose of, not sure I wish to have her criticise my clothing again," he joked back at her.

"Silly Daddy, jacket potatoes, we've been helping Mummy add the death cap to the cheese mix."

"Death cap?" he said looking lost for words.

"Only joking, Mummy said it was hemlock, she calls this type of cheesy filling Socrates cheese, good innit, it rhymes."

"From what I remember from my Classics' studies hemlock is not a nice way to go, I'd much rather pop off after having made mad, passionate love to my beautiful wife. Now that would be much more my thing."

"I've got a headache so you'll have to make do with hemlock tonight," I said dismissively, "and what happened to my tea?"

"Just looking for the hemlock, babes, so it'll take a bit longer."

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3327 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####
On Monday morning, the student who had abused James, our technician came to my office. I hadn't had time to send for her, so this was under her own volition probably in the hope that she might mitigate the consequences of her abusive behaviour.

"Professor, there's a Mandy Philpotts asking to speak with you?"

"When's my next meeting?" I asked Diane.

"Not for an hour."

"What does she want to talk about?"

"I think she may be the one who had the run in with James last week."

"Oh, I've got better things to do that deal with petulant children, I've got enough of them at home. Send her in and as soon as she goes, bring in a cuppa will you, I hate disciplinary meetings."

"She has come to you, we didn't send for her."

"She's had a weekend to manufacture an excuse, let's see how creative she is." Diane left me and after a tap on the door, in walked a young woman of about twenty. She was short and dumpy, with long dark greasy hair, spectacles and less dress sense than Kiki. It didn't exactly endear her to me, but if she was trying to give the impression of someone who was under some sort of stress it was working. She hadn't put her bra on over her top, but the university sweatshirt she wore and the jeans accompanying it looked as if they were due their annual visit to the washing machine soon. I've seen male students who look as scruffy but we tend to excuse it in them, in women, we expect something better thereby proving we have yet to eliminate all forms of sexist values and behaviours in the administration and personal ones.

But then my girls tend to be rather more clothes oriented. Julie won't wear a pair of jeans unless they have been ironed even if she was going to work in the garden or do some decorating, but she's probably hypersensitive about how she looks compared to most of us. I hang mine up after wearing them if they don't need washing and that tends to keep them reasonably tidy and if I'm going somewhere I need to look a bit more presentable, I don't wear jeans anyway.

"What did you need to discuss with me, Mandy?" I asked to check what Diane had suggested.

"I came to apologise, Professor." She stood blushing and looking at the carpet and I suspect was irrigating it with tears, crocodile or otherwise. Like many women, I'm not always moved by them, it's men they have the most effect on.

"For what have you come to apologise?" I pushed some tissues across the desk but stayed seated.

"I let fly at James on Friday."

"What, you hit him?" I hadn't heard that bit before.

"No, professor, I swore at him."

"Why did you feel a need to swear at him?"

"I was upset."

"I see. Perhaps you'd better start from the beginning. What made you upset?"

She paused to take a couple of tissues and wiped her eyes and nose. I sat waiting to hear how inventive her reason might be. Some of them are very good actors and liars, some are just plain stupid and most are somewhere between.

"On Friday I got kicked out of my digs."

"Okay, why was that?"

"The week before I lost my purse with most of my money in it and my cards. A day later, some nice person cleared out my account and my direct debit to my landlord wasn't paid. I'd cancelled my cards as soon as I discovered they were lost, but not quickly enough.

"I told my landlord about my loss and he gave me a few more days to come up with the rent. I asked my parents, but we're a bit estranged these days and my dad refused to bale me out telling me I should be more careful. I went to the local High Street bank and explained what happened but they weren't much help.

"So where are you living?"

"In my car," she said in a very quiet voice before beginning to sob. She was either a very good actress or very upset.

"Have you spoken to student welfare?"

"I made an appointment to see them this afternoon."

"Good, so what happened with James?"

"I'd slept in the car and was very tired, it was cold and I'd had no breakfast except a cup of coffee. I was hungry and behind with my work, I can't use my laptop in the car and I had some microscopy to finish and wanted to try and catch up. James told me I couldn't in the lab because they had a class due, I suggested I could work at the back and not affect the class. He refused and told me I could work in the prep room but I can't, it's too small and they had boxes everywhere. He offered to move them but I just saw red and swore at him. I have since apologised to him."

"What did he say to that?"

"He accepted my apology."

"When's your next class?"

"This afternoon."

"Right, this what we're going to do. Have you eaten this morning?"

She looked at the carpet again and shook her head.
"I can't condone your behaviour however difficult your life was on Friday, it wasn't James' fault, so I am going to issue you with a verbal warning and a note of your abuse will be made on your record. If it happens again, you will be asked to leave the university. Is that clear?"

"Yes, professor."

"Here's ten pounds, you can pay me back when you sort out your finances, go and get something to eat at the cafeteria. I'll give you half an hour, then go and see student welfare."

"But I have an appointment this aft..."

"Do as I tell you, you will go and see them in half an hour."

"Yes, professor."

"You will do what they advise, and after you've done that, you will come back and see me. Do you understand."

She sniffed, took some more tissues and wiped her nose again. "Yes, thank you professor." She dumped a pile of soggy tissues in my wastepaper basket and left.

Diane appeared with a cuppa while I was on the phone, I nodded at her but continued with my call. "Hi Sammi, look I need you to break all the rules on confidentiality."

"I can't, Mummy."

"Please just listen, I need to know if an Amanda Philpotts, who's one of my students cancelled her cards and if her account was emptied and where and how much was taken. Also if there's any record of a meeting with the bank."

"Do you know how many Amanda Philpotts there are?" She said after I heard a keyboard being used.

"Oh, here we go, she had about a thousand removed in five separate goes from the same branch, a week ago Wednesday, hang about, it was withdrawn by a man, he looks Asian or middle eastern. Yeah, same bloke each time, he's captured on the cameras. She saw the bank who apparently refused her an overdraught as she had no collateral and there's half a dozen direct debits that were unpaid. A letter was sent to her current address. She was definitely one of our clients."

"Okay, thanks, Sammi. She had her purse taken lost her accommodation because she couldn't pay the rent and is currently living in her car."

"Oh, poor kid, see you at the weekend, Mummy."

"Look forward to it, sweetheart, bye."

I called student welfare and told them they were going to see my student in twenty minutes, when they told me they couldn't and besides she had an appointment after lunch, I said I would possibly reconsider my department funding them as they weren't doing much for my students. They decided they would see her but under duress. I told them I was also under duress, it was called life.

I next phoned the bank and asked to speak to the manager. "Who's calling?" asked the voice on the other end of the phone.

"Lady Catherine Cameron," I said crisply.

"Do you have an account with us, Lady Cameron."

"I hope so as I'm a director of the bank."

"Of course, I'm sorry Lady Catherine, putting you through to Mister Wedgewood now."

"Wedgewood," said an irritated male voice.

"Good morning, Mr Wedgewood, I'd like some help with one of my students who has an account with your branch."

"Sorry, I don't deal with those sort of issues directly, can't you speak to one of my under managers?"

"Mr Wedgewood, as a director of High Street Banks plc, if I can be bothered then I'm sure you could be."

"I'm sorry, who did you say you were?"

I could see the receptionist getting a bollocking as soon as rang off. "I'm Catherine Cameron."

"Cameron? As in Lady Catherine Cameron?"

"The same, now please check your records for an Amanda Philpotts who had her purse taken and her card used fraudulently to empty her account. I expect it's on the camera at the ATM that was used. She lost about a thousand pounds, as these withdrawals were not authorised by her, I believe the bank is liable to reimburse the money and issue her with new cards."

"I'll see what I can do, Lady Cameron."

"Good man, now she's currently using temporary accommodation, so could the new cards be sent to my office at the university, care of Professor Watts, department of biological sciences."

"It's somewhat irregular, Lady Cameron."

"I'll accept responsibility for their safety once they're received."

"Okay, I'll get someone on it straight away."

"Thank you, Mr Wedgewood, I'm pleased at your efforts to maintain good relations with your younger clients."

"Of course, Lady Cameron, glad to help."

I sipped my tea wondering how many rules I'd broken and encouraged others to do so as well. Simon will probably kill me if he finds out. Oh well. I wandered down to student welfare informing Diane where I was going. "Bit old for their help, aren't you?" she cheerily called as I left. I could always sack her when I got back.

"Oh, Professor," gasped Mandy who was sitting in the waiting area.

"Mind if I come in with you?"

"Uh, no," she said looking a bit bewildered.

"You did inform the police about the theft of your purse and cards."

"Oh yeah, they gave, me an incident number, lotta help that was."

"Keep it, the bank may require it."

"Oh, okay."

She was called in and I wandered in behind her. "Excuse me, who are you?" challenged the woman in the room.

"I'm a representative of the teaching staff of the Faculty of Science. I've come to support Mandy."

"Uh," said the middle-aged woman in dark trouser suit, "these are usually private and confidential with just the student."

"Tell me, do we still have emergency accommodation for students, on a temporary basis?"

"Yes," said the woman.

"Good, could you please make sure this young lady gets some by this evening, she's currently living in her car which is unacceptable, I'm sure you'll agree. She has also been robbed of all her money, so I'm sure some sort of loan would be possible, wouldn't it?"

"I shall see if we can help, um, who are you, exactly?" said the older woman.

"That's my professor," piped up Mandy, "Professor Watts, an' she's brill," she said beaming at me."

"Let me know how it goes," I winked at Mandy and left.

"I will, prof," she called back as I exited.

I wasn't there when she came back to report that she was staying in a bedsit in one of the university's accommodation buildings. They're not cheap, but they won't bill her for a month or so giving her a chance to sort herself out.

On the Friday of that week, a rather tidier version of Mandy arrived at my office to collect a letter from her bank and new card, she asked Diane to see if she could speak to me. Diane told her to knock my door.

"Hello, Mandy how are things?"

"Much better, thanks to you, Professor. I'm in a much better room than I had before and I can wash my clothes and things, and the bank has reimbursed what was stolen, yet before they told me it was my own fault. So I'm back in credit, I dunno why they changed their minds but, I don't care. I'm gonna buy James a little prezzie to say sorry."

"I'd just send him a card," I said knowing that when James understood the pressure Mandy had been under he asked me to remove the complaint from the record. I told him I couldn't because there was no excuse for abuse, there was always another way to deal with things and as long as she knew she would be expelled if it happened again, it would remind her not to do so. He'd protested but I held firm.

I'd also got Diane to make sure that Mandy understood that the university had ways to help students who were in dire straits and that I would ask the council to flag it up to the student support elements to make sure students knew where to get help if they needed it. There were leaflets and so on about the place, but we obviously needed to make sure students read them. If they're working hard on their modules, they don't need the extra stress of being robbed or dumped on the street, their lives are stressful enough and we had an obligation to help them.

I suspect, that had Mandy presented at student support and had known what they could do for her, she wouldn't have needed my help and Sammi told me she'd removed the trace of her accessing Mandy's records. It was also unlikely that Mr Wedgewood would complain about my direct approach to him to reimburse the stolen money, so I didn't bother to tell Simon anything about any of it.

It didn't quite work out that way, however, when he asked how my week had been I shrugged and mentioned we'd had a student who'd had her purse taken but as far as I understood they'd refunded it.

"Probably, babes, the branches usually do, costs us a small fortune but it's what we're required to do and hopefully afterwards they stay with us as lifelong customers."

"Do they ever catch the perpetrators of these nasty little crimes?"

"I have no idea, we leave that to the police, naturally we give them anything we have, video clips, bits of paper and so on and any of the stolen cards that are kept by any machines they use, so possible finger prints. How about, I pinch one of these?" he said gently squeezing my nipple between his fingers making me think of things other than banks or universities and I kissed him with some passion.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3328 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####
"Oh bugger," said Simon and emptied his glass of real ale.

"What's the matter?" I asked coming in from my study.

"England just beat Wales and France did a demolition job on Scotland. Bloody frogs will take some stopping."

"Were either of those results unexpected?" I asked.

"Not really, it was hoped with home advantage, Scotland may be able to stop the French settling into their rhythm, and they did for quite a bit of the first half but then the French started to motor and that was that."

"What about the other match?" I was trying to show some interest in things that are important to him.

"Well, when the Welsh turned up, they nearly stole it, but they gave away a soft try and it took them a while to get over it. But in the end, they made a game of it. Though their captain should have been sent off in the final few minutes for a deliberate knock-on, or at least sin-binned, but he wasn't." (A knock-on is a foul in rugby union, a deliberate knock-on is a professional foul and is usually punished with being suspended for 10 minutes or worse, so their team is a man down for that period).

"How was your afternoon?" he asked though I doubt he was that interested in me telling him.

"I took up a pair of trousers for Sammi and we chatted while I did it. She's moving after she got robbed that time, but I expect you know that?"

"Uh, yeah, she's been saving a little nest egg, so she has a good deposit and is thinking of moving somewhere like Primrose Hill or Maida Vale."

"Not 'Ampstead where 'urricanes 'ardly ever 'appen?" I did my best Eliza Doolittle and all Simon did was roll his eyes.

"Audrey Hepburn has nothing to fear from you, babes."

"Well no, she's somewhat deceased, but what is wrong with Hampstead?"

"Nothing if you have a few million to spend."

"What even down in the village?"

"It's all got extremely silly, but seeing as we're going to confiscate all the houses owned by Russian oligarchs and throw them out, prices may come down."

"How could that imbecile invade Ukraine? It's monstrous."

"I can assure you that I feel exactly the same way towards the megalomaniac as you do and quite a few of his countrymen as well. We're constantly under fire from his hackers and it's only Super Sammi who keeps the bar-stewards out."

"Did she tell you Cheltenham have been asking her to give them a couple of days a week?"

"My daughter the spook," I said smiling.

"More helping to create codes for them and trying to decrypt what other people are doing. If you remember it was her who showed them how to get into an iPhone when the 'Mericans couldn't."

"I hope they pay her something for her efforts?" I frowned.

"The bank usually cops much of it but I told GCHQ that unless they showed a bit more willing, we'd stop her helping them."

"Can you do that?"

"Yeah, bank security is almost as important as national security, if we were breached it could lead to a run on the banks and the pound would plummet and we'd all be in queer street."

"Never mind, darling, I'll always see you as heterosexual whatever they say." It was a wind-up but I can't resist.

"Ye whit?" he exclaimed.

"You know if you go a bit queer like you just said."

"I was referring to our finances and that of the bank and I said Queer Street, as in the phrase."

"Oh, I must have misheard you, Si." I was trying to keep a straight face but it was really difficult and I had to return to my study before I laughed out loud or wet myself. I was still putting the sewing machine away and tidying up the little bits of thread when he came into the study.

"See this?" he shoved his iPad towards me.

"Oh," I said when I saw the story in the Guardian about Elsevier being in league with the oil industry as well as publishing scientific papers on climate change brought about by the industry. "I suppose they can sleep at night, I wouldn't be able to but some Dutch people can be quite tough and mercenary."

"I know, I've competed with them and they are tough. I suppose the small country syndrome. They were also very cruel in running their colonies, not that we have much to brag about."

"Oh, I don't know," I added to his statement, "no one had invented the concentration camp before the Boer War, had they?"

He shrugged but neither of us suggested that it took German efficiency to produce the ultimate form which murdered millions. Compared to them, we were amateurs.

"Empires are all about exploitation, so they're not going to be nice, but it makes me smile that the most imperialist nation at present, is China. Like all tyrants, however, they will fall possibly not in our lifetimes but Putin will eventually be toppled, though whether democracy will ever happen in Russia or China is another matter."

"I hope you're right, babes, but not too violently, it upsets interest rates and stocks and shares and remember the people who suffer the most are always the poorest."

"Like the new student loans arrangement, they'll have to pay it for another ten years and they reduced the threshold from twenty-seven to twenty-five thousand before they have to start paying it back. The poorest students will suffer the most, this government are real elitists and they spend most of their time trying to kill off the poor while aiding and abetting their corrupt friends in business." I was on my soapbox now and it took him a few minutes to calm me down.

"Where's our child-care expert?"

"She's out with the little ones, feeding the ducks or something."

"Not with our homemade bread, I hope?" Simon said indignantly.

"So do I, bread is no good for ducks or aquatic animals, it just rots at the bottom of the pond or stream and sets up fungal or bacterial conditions in the water, I gave her money to buy some grain to give them, which is natural and doesn't damage the environment.."

"Well, you learn something new every day." I wasn't sure if Simon was being straight or winding me up, so I just responded, 'Yes dear.'

"Where's Sammi now, you said she was in here?"

"She was while I was shortening her trousers."

"I can't believe you can do that, let alone actually do it."

"Why? I shortened my dad's trousers when I was fourteen, about the same time that I did the first Lady Macbeth."

"He let you do that but beat you up for doing some embroidery," Simon shook his head.

"Well of course he let me do it, they were his trousers."

"But you were deputising for your mother?"

"I was doing it under her instruction, sort of, I actually pretty well did it all by myself as I'd done a pair of hers and some of my own before that. In some ways, I wonder if she was cocking a snook at him because of his homophobic stance."

"Goodness, I haven't heard that expression for years, was never quite sure of what it meant."

"What, cocking a snook?" I asked and he nodded, whereupon I put my thumb to the end of my nose and spread out and wiggled my fingers.

"You feeling all right?" he asked chuckling.

"I was demonstrating how to cock a snook."

"Oh that's what it means, trust my clever wifey to know."

I huffed on my nails and pretended to polish them against my top. As we were talking Cate and Lizzie ran in shouting to us that they'd seen an otter.

"Goodness, you are lucky girls aren't you? Do you know that most people in this country have never seen one, so that makes you special."

"Hi Auntie C, Uncle Si, I think they saw one, could have been a mink I suppose." We all chatted about where they'd seen it and so on, while Livvie gave her younger sisters a drink of juice and a biscuit, thereby guaranteeing they'd have no teeth in a few year's time. I made the two littlies come with me to clean their teeth.

"Auntie Cathy, Debbie tells me you're teaching on Monday, may I come along and watch."

"What an earth for?" I asked offhandedly.

"Debbie is a very good teacher, she's taught me loads more than we did in school."

"I would hope so, Sarah, we're running a university."

"Yeah, well anyway, I asked if I could come and hear her lecture and she told me not to bother with the monkey when I could see the organ grinder. I didn't know what she meant, so she had to explain it to me."

I shook my head, "The expression is something like, don't deal with the monkey if you can with the organ grinder," I smiled at her.

"Yeah, Debbie told me that much."

"It goes back to Victorian times when there were people who had mechanical organ things, which ran on a basic clockwork type programme and were powered by turning a handle. They were I suppose something between a musical box and a pianola, you know they run on a continuous programme made out of card or something similar which has holes cut in it and they catch on something which makes a musical sound, they sound very mechanical and tinny. Anyway, these people were like buskers today, only they often had a monkey attached by a chain to the organ and the monkey held a cup or mug for people to put change in. I presume the monkey was there to attract the attention of children to part with their farthings or ha'pennies."

"That wouldn't be allowed today, would it?" queried Sarah.

"I doubt it, primates are known to suffer stress doing things like that plus they have been known to bite small fingers, so not a good idea in any sense."

"We've done awful things to animals haven't we?"

"Yes, we've destroyed biodiversity all over the world but this country is one of the most bio-diversity depleted in the world."

"Crazy, we've had charities fighting for wildlife and the countryside for more than a hundred years and we're more depleted than anywhere else in Europe? How come?"

"Simple, a small number of people control most of the land and until recently some of them felt that they could do exactly as they liked on it. It may have been the case years ago but now they're supposed to adhere to the same laws as the rest of us."

Sarah laughed loudly, "Like hell they do."

"We all know that we're still trying to find out about the two sea eagles which were killed in Dorset and Hants last year."

"How could someone kill those magnificent birds? It's a crying shame, Auntie Cathy."

"I agree entirely, but I think you have to bear in mind that it's suggested that one of them was found near where they catch wild salmon, it's big money and they possibly see the eagles as a threat to their livelihood, whereas in fact we know that is rubbish and there are probably compensation schemes for them anyway. The problem is that those sorts of people don't wait to see how they can be compensated, they just strike out and the birds die.

"I remember a report about a researcher who was flying a peregrine from the wrist as they were filming how the birds snuck up on their prey species without the prey working out that they were under attack. So this falcon was flying with a small camera on it and some farmer in this country, came out and shot it."

Sarah looked shocked, "Is that true?"

"Yes, though I don't know if he was prosecuted. Given those birds are worth thousands and are all protected be they captive or wild, he should have been. Had it been my bird I'd have beaten him to death with his own gun."

"I think I'd have helped you, Mum... I mean, Auntie Cathy."

She was blushing furiously, "Sorry, Auntie Cathy, but in some ways, you're more like a mum to me than my own mother."

"I can't comment on that, Sarah, but she is your mum and I have enough children of my own."

"Sorry, perhaps I'd better go and see where the little ones are or do some study."

"Go and do some study."

"Thanks, Auntie Cathy, oh Uncle Peter said he might pop round sometime this evening."

"Oh, okay, do we know why?"

"He'll tell you."

"That sounds ominous," I said to an empty space, I suspect caused by discretion being the better part of valour.

Peter did arrive just before dinner, we were late waiting for Danielle to return and the rugby had also made us later. I invited him to stay for a meal but he rather brusquely declined. I almost asked him who'd taken his lollipop?

We went to my study and he cut straight to the chase, "Cathy, I'm concerned that you gave Sarah a car for Christmas. I thought she'd just borrowed it, but she informs me you gave it to her."

"She needed a car to get about and if they own them they tend to take better care of them. It's only a runabout, so what's the problem?"

"It's only two years old and worth far more than a young woman in her position should receive. How can the rest of us compete with you, we can't afford ten thousand pound gifts?"

"I'm not in competition, she needed one, Simon mentioned that he'd been offered quite a nice little thing at a bargain price, so he bought it."

"And you gave this to someone who a few weeks ago was a complete stranger."

"She isn't now, so what is the problem?"

"She works for you, Cathy, she isn't a relative."

"I'm well aware of that, I still don't see what the problem is."

"You're buying her, aren't you?"

"What?" I was horrified and a cold sensation happened in the pit of my stomach.

"I've been told that's how you operate, you entice or seduce them with your money and before long you have another daughter. Well, not this time, Lady Cameron, I'm taking her back with me and you can stick your car as far up your backside as you like." He wandered out into the hallway calling Sarah.

"Yes, Uncle Peter?" she arrived to greet him.

"Pack your stuff, we're leaving."

"What for?" she asked and he just shouted at her to do as he said.

"What's going on?" asked Simon when he heard the raised voices.

"I'm taking my niece away from here before she," and he pointed at me, "get's another girl to add to her collection."

"What the hell are you talking about?" asked Simon.

"Look, Cameron, I know how you people operate, seducing children to come and live with you because she can't have any, can she, she's a boy just like Sarah is really."

"Peter, what has got into you?" asked Simon of the very angry man shouting at him. "Look let's go and have a drink and talk this over like two civilised people," he tried to steer him into the lounge.

"Get your hands off me, Cameron or you'll be sorry."

"In what way, Dominic?"

"I'll hit you."

Simon shook his head, he'd eat the other man for breakfast and come back for extra servings. "Go home and calm down, we'll speak of this tomorrow when everyone's slept on it."

"She's coming with me now."

"No I'm not, Uncle Peter, I'm staying here."

He made the mistake of grabbing at her and Simon told him to let her go, Peter swung at Simon who dropped him with one short punch. I called the police.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3329 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####
Ten minutes after the fracas Sergeant Bond was taking statements from a rather shaky Peter Dominic, a distressed Sarah, a calm Simon and a shocked me. while we were waiting for them to arrive, Peter had simply sat on the floor after Simon had put him there with a short, but I suspect, hard punch which had caught him on the jaw and he went down like a stone.

Sarah had rushed to me, "Don't let him take me away, Mummy," she said giving me the wrong appellation, but given the circumstances I wasn't going to say anything. Two of my girls also witnessed what happened, Danni and Trish and they were horrified that Peter had tried to remove Sarah against her wishes and that their dad had had to hit him.

Danni, pushed Trish back into the room and then stopped the others from becoming embroiled in something which concerned no one else. By the time Andy Bond arrived with a colleague, Sarah had stopped shaking and Simon had helped Peter up off the floor and to a seat, he still looked pale and I sent Sarah to get him a glass of water. Thankfully, there were no teeth or blood lying on the carpet.

I explained what had happened and that Sarah was employed by me and was an adult being over eighteen, she was therefore not obliged to go with her uncle if she didn't want to and if Simon hadn't intervened, Peter would have been guilty of abduction or wrongful arrest.

Simon said he'd been reading the paper when he heard the raised voices and came to investigate and he found Peter shouting abuse at me and trying to grab Sarah who was resisting. He told Andy that he asked Peter to calm down and go and have a chat over a beer but Peter wasn't having it, so he told him to go home and come back tomorrow after he'd calmed down whereupon he took a swing at Simon and missed but Simon's short, sharp response didn't.

Sarah told the same story as I did and was equally horrified by the change in her uncle, especially his sudden transphobia. She told this to Andy who alternately nodded and shook his head, making notes the whole time.

When it came to Peter's turn to talk he still looked out of it and I'm not sure if he could tell what day it was let alone an accurate record of events. He sipped the water that Sarah had brought him but said very little.

"Do you wish to press charges?" Andy asked the rest of us. None of us did. "I'm going to arrest you, Sir, he said to Peter, because you committed several offences but I'm also going to have the police surgeon examine you because I suspect you may have a concussion. Would you please come with us," he helped Peter up and walked him out to the car.

"Do you have to arrest him, Andy?"

"If I do, he'll see a doctor whether he likes it or not. If I just let him go and he has an accident while driving..." he shrugged, "besides he is guilty of several things including breach of the peace, attempted false arrest, abusing you and Sarah. It'll be up to a senior officer to see whether we just caution him or he's charged."

"Will you let his wife know where he is or would you like Sarah to ring her?"

"We'll do it. Good night Lady Cameron, your lordship, young lady," he said keeping things formal in front of his colleague."

We watched as the police car drove down the drive and out into the traffic, Sarah tucked under my arm sniffing back the tears. "We'll sort it out tomorrow," I said giving her a gentle squeeze.

"I don't understand, I thought he accepted me as a girl and he called you a boy as well, I don't understand, I thought he liked you and respected you. What was he on about you wanting to keep me?"

"Let's go and have a cuppa and a chat, okay?" she nodded and we walked into the kitchen where all the others had eaten, except Sarah and me and neither of us felt much like doing so now. Danni had put the meals in the cool oven of the Aga so they'd keep for a little time before they dried up and ended up in the dog.

"You okay, Mummy?" asked Danni accompanied by a deputation of daughters. I nodded and went to put the kettle on but Trish was there warming the teapot and she gave me a quick hug. "You okay?" Danni asked Sarah and she started to sob again and they had a little hug.

I hugged Simon who decided that something stronger than tea was required and thanked him for protecting us. "That's what I'm here for, babes, to protect my girls, besides if you'd hit him they'd have taken him off in an ambulance, so it was safer for me to do it."

I shook my head, "Honestly, Si, the way you about me, you'd think I was some sort of dangerous monster."

"So if I hadn't intervened, you'd have let him take Sarah away with him?"

"I didn't say that, Si."

"No you didn't, but he wouldn't have listened to reason from you or Sarah and I know you'd have prevented him taking her, wouldn't you?"

"I don't know, Si, thankfully it didn't happen."

"I do know, and you'd have hit him a lot harder than I did." I shrugged and accepted the mug of tea from Trish before sitting at the kitchen table where Sarah and Danni joined me each holding a mug of tea.

"You'd have hit him, Auntie Cathy?" asked an astonished Sarah.

"It has been known," said Danni smirking, "the female of the species is more deadly than the male," she added and she and Simon chuckled.

"She's a veritable tigress when she's roused," said Simon, "especially if she thinks her cubs are at risk."

"Goodness," said Sarah sipping her tea, "I'd never have guessed."

"I'll show you my scrapbook," offered Trish making Sarah nod at her as if to confirm the offer would be taken up.

"So what caused all the problem?" asked Danni who had heard the disturbance but not what was said.

"I don't know, but Peter accused us of trying to entice Sarah to join the family by giving her the car at Christmas, which we thought would be useful for her seeing her mum and possibly for her work. I tried to explain that Daddy got it for a very good price and it was no big deal. He then seemed to lose it and he tried to grab Sarah and Daddy asked him to calm down, he took a swing at Daddy who defended himself and all of us."

"I saw that bit, Mummy." said Danni draping her arm around Simon whereupon she said, "My hero," in such an affected manner that we all fell about laughing.

"Tell you what, kiddo," Si responded to his daughter, "next time I'll let you do it."

"Uh no thanks, Daddy, I'm not after your job or Mummy's, I'm quite happy to remain as a mere footballing superstar phenomenon, as the press called me."

"Did you win then?" asked Simon.

"Natch," she replied sipping her tea.

"Who did you beat?" he asked.

"Chelsea," said Trish before Danni could swallow her tea, "three one, and yes she scored two and made the other."

"Well done, Kiddo," said Simon putting his arm around her shoulders and squeezing her. Danni smiled and blushed with pride.

"I scored two for school today as well, you know?" said Trish trying to edge into the acclamations.

"Well done, you," I said to her although I knew it to be the case because I stood in the rain watching her. Trish looked back at me and winked before beaming a smile at her dad - little flirt.

"So why the change in character of Peter?" asked Simon.

"I can only surmise he's been talking to someone who seems to think they know about our family but obviously they don't and are going on surmise and prejudice or even gossip. I suspect someone from the university may be involved, but don't know who let alone why."

"So he thinks we got all the children by bribery and enticement?" Simon looked disgusted.

"Seems like, which takes no concern for consideration of the children's needs into account."

"Best thing I ever did was having you adopt me," said Danni and Trish agreed emphatically.

"I wish you could adopt me," said Sarah, "you're more like a mother than the woman who gave birth to me."She frowned, "I'll bet he's been up to see her." With that, her mobile began to ring and she answered. "I need to take this," she said and trotted up to her room.

By this time I was feeling more than a bit hungry and kept hoping she'd come down so we could both eat. She appeared ten minutes later, "That was my auntie, she wanted to know why Uncle Pete had been arrested and why Uncle Simon had hit him, so I told her, she was horrified but she confirmed he'd been up to see my mum earlier on."

"Perhaps we need to go and see her to set the record straight," I said looking at Sarah.

"I'd rather not, she might try to stop me coming back with you."

"She can't, you're an adult and thus able to make your own mind up about what you want to do and where you want to live."

"You don't know my mum, she's an expert at moral blackmail and she'd also try to stop me associating with you because this being a girl business is obviously just a fad and you're encouraging me, so setting a bad example."

"What?" gasped Danni, "I hope I never meet her, I'll soon put her right, stupid woman."

"I'm afraid she isn't very clever and she is also a bit trans and homophobic, you know typical Daily Express reader, lots of opinions but few facts, so lets gossip and innuendo take their place."

We all nodded including Trish who I doubt has ever read the Daily Express as I won't allow it into the house.

"What if she goes to the press, Mummy, I mean Auntie?" blushed Sarah, "she could make life very uncomfortable for you."

"Not as much as we could for her, if she says anything deprecatory which isn't true, I tend to sue and I suspect I have more resources than she does, which means she can only lose."

"Against the newspaper?" gasped Sarah.

"Daddy's loaded, remember we own a bank," said Danni quietly.

"I must try and speak to Uncle Peter, make him understand that you are just being very nice to me not trying to entice me into anything..."

"Nah, that's next week," said Trish and ran off from the table before anyone could say or do anything.

"Blessed teenagers," sighed Simon.

"Hoy," said Danni, "I'm a teenager, remember and apart from being an amazing footballing phenomenon, I'm also very nice and loveable."

"You are," said Sarah and they high-fived.

Sarah and I finally ate our evening meals at nearly nine o'clock, far too late to enjoy. I left half mine and Simon finished it off, he's as bad as Kiki, she got half of Sarah's who'd also lost much of her appetite.

"So what do we do next?" asked Sarah.

"We clean up the dishes and go to bed, I think, I'm exhausted."

"I'll do those," said Danni who was living up to her self-declared, 'nice' reputation, which at that moment I thoroughly agreed.

"I still think I should talk to Uncle Peter and put him right."

"Let's all just sleep on it and see how we feel in the morning," I suggested putting my cup in the sink and wishing everyone a goodnight, I went up to bed. "Make sure Trish and Livvie don't stay up too late will you?" I asked Danni and Sarah and they said they would send them up to bed at ten. Sarah also said she send up the little ones now and went off to do so.

"She's a nice kid," observed Simon, "let's hope this business doesn't affect her too much."
I yawned and went up to bed, I was asleep moments after getting into bed and as far as I know, stayed that way until about seven the next morning. I awoke feeling much better but I was still aware that the business with Peter Dominic wasn't quite over yet and I wouldn't relax until I knew it was finished.

I couldn't see how he could do much more than annoy or inconvenience me. Everyone who needed to know about my past already did so and most were okay with it. Sarah was another matter, but surely it would take a very sick person to use her to try to get at me, especially as she could get very hurt in the process. Surely, a close relative wouldn't do that to her, would they? Wouldn't they love her and want to protect her or could they be full of the sort of love that burns people at the stake to save their souls? That sort of individual is really difficult to deal with.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3330 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####
On Sunday after breakfast Sarah told me she had spoken to Peter. Apparently, the police had discharged him under caution. Andy had also told him to be grateful that none of us wanted to press charges.

Peter also told her that Andy had known me for some years and that I had rescued several transgendered children who no one else wanted to foster or adopt, so he thought I was a life saver and also a very good mother. Peter said he thought the same until he spoke to Sarah's mother who convinced him of her version of events.

He also told her that he had to come to get his car and would like to apologise for his stupidity of the night before. He'd mentioned this to Andy Bond who agreed to meet him here at 11.00am. He was warned by Sergeant Bond that if he tried anything stupid, all the charges that were not processed last night would be so and he could expect a custodial sentence, which would obviously affect his job and future employment prospects.

Sarah asked if he'd been seen by a doctor? He had and the conclusion was it probably wasn't a concussion, more just a case of shock though he was given the usual advice about feeling sick and headaches to contact A&E immediately.

Sarah said he told her he felt better after a night's sleep except for his behaviour which had left him feeling terminally embarrassed.

"Good," said Simon, adding, "perhaps it'll stop him being a prat next time."

"There won't be a next time," I said firmly, "I will tell him not to come to this house again after he collects his car. I won't stop you seeing him, Sarah, but I would urge caution if you do."

"I'm still fond of him, Auntie Cathy, but I think it will take some time for him to earn my trust again. I'm not sure about my mother either after she seemed to set him up, so I'll have to find somewhere to live when I start my degree."

"You can stay here. Normally, I can't have much to do with students, but I don't teach first years very much these days, I leave much of it to Debbie and the junior lecturers."

"Seeing as I know Debbie, would that be a problem, Auntie?"

"No, you're employed by me, I made you the offer to sit the exam and win a place on the course. I won't be involved in examining you, so it's all above board."

"Thank you, Auntie Cathy, I really do wish you were my mother."

"Right well, that's not possible," said Simon ending the conversation, "So you'll have to make do with adopting us as aunt and uncle."

"Can I ask Professor Agnew if I can call him gramps?" she asked looking close to tears. I felt rotten but she is an adult albeit like many transgender ones, rather socially inept and naïve because they don't have a chance to grow up in their preferred gender. I know I was always making gaffes when I transitioned until I learned how to avoid them. It's amazing that you think you should know these things because you've had interactions all your life, but they're different for different genders, different social status and so on. I know that as a Professor or Lady Cameron, my standards of behaviour are expected to be much higher than just plain old Cathy Watts because of my status and all of these things have to be learned.

"That's between you and Professor Agnew, sweetheart, he's back tonight so he's missed all the excitement, but give him a day or two to recover." I knew that Tom would probably allow her to call him Gramps, at the same time he'd been away on the Vice Chancellor's conference so would be tired, we forget he's not a young man anymore though he keeps going like one most of the time, but every now and again, I see him look exhausted and quite grey.

At just before eleven, Andy Bond, in uniform, drove into our drive and parked next to Peter's car. He was on his own. Minutes later a taxi pulled up and Peter walked up the drive and spoke briefly to Andy.

"Right, I'm going to invite them both in, so, Sarah make some teas and coffees, Danni help her please."

"How many, Mummy?" asked Danni.

"Just Andy, Peter, Simon and me, and Sarah, so five. Better wait to see what people want."

I invited them in and we sat around the dining table, orders for tea and coffee were taken by Danielle and a few minutes later, Sarah, who was looking very smart in a skirt and top, brought in the three coffees and two teas. The men had coffee we girls, the teas.

"Before we go any further, I must remind Peter that Sarah is twenty years old and thus an adult in her own right. She is an employee here and lives in. Peter, I'm afraid after your behaviour last night, I must say that you are no longer welcome at either my house or at the university. I'd like to make that informal rather than seek restraining orders."

Peter looked very shamed faced and nodded. I asked him to verbally agree so Sergeant Bond would be in no doubt of the agreement. "I agree," he said realising that he could lose contact with Sarah, but also one of the biggest purchasers of his products.

He looked rather sad but I tried not to have any sympathy because he'd betrayed my trust yesterday and potentially endangered Sarah and members of my family, so I may never forgive and forget.

Peter asked he could speak. We all agreed and he began. "I saw my sister, Sarah's mother yesterday, she asked me to go and see her because she was worried about Sarah being in my house. She claimed to have seen an article about how, as couldn't have children of my own, I inveigled several from perfectly happy families, enticing them with expensive gifts, even changing several of them into girls against their will, including conspiring with a young disturbed youth to damage them so badly on their genitalia that they had to have remedial surgery and were converted to females, all against their will."

"You don't happen to know what the article was in, do you?"

"I think she said it was on the internet," he replied to my question. I would ask Trish to find it and we'd take legal action against the site and the author. I'd also ask Sammi to drop a cyber bomb on them.

"These are pretty serious allegations to make, Mr Dominic," said Andy and I know, having been involved with Lord and Lady Cameron on numerous occasions in the course of my duties, that they are all wrong."

Peter shrugged. I looked at Sarah, "Please ask Danni to send in all the children one at a time. Don't tell her why, just to send them in but individually." She gave me a perplexed look but went as I asked.

Two minutes later Trish came in. "You want me, Mummy?"

"Yes, sweetheart." To Peter, I said," ask her how I enticed her and changed her gender."

"No, I won't upset her, you've made your point."

"Trish?" asked Andy Bond, "could you tell Mr Dominic how you came to live here?"

"Why?" she asked looking less than happy. She continues to have a fear of being removed from here despite me saying it would never happen.

"You're not under any threat, young lady, but it's an interesting story and I think Mr Dominic would appreciate hearing it."

Trish sighed and looked at me, I nodded and she sighed again. "My mother got rid of me because she wanted a boy and I was a girl. I was put in a children's home where I was bullied by one boy in particular and he also raped me. He pushed me down the stairs when I said I would tell on him. I woke up in hospital and my legs didn't work. They sent me back to the home but my legs still didn't work and no one believed I'd been pushed down the stairs except Dr Rose at the hospital, they all thought I fell.

"In hospital, I met Meems and her legs didn't work neither, she got hit by a van. Her mother dumped her on Mummy supposedly for a short time, but they disappeared in a foreign country. Mummy, who is really an angel, made her legs work again and Dr Rose asked if she could try with me. She helped me to walk again as well and I can run and play football as good as anyone.

"I was fostered by Mummy and Daddy at first but they were adopting Meems and I asked the judgeman if I could be adopted as well? He said yes, and I love my Mummy and Daddy, they're the best in the world," she flung herself at me and I wrapped her in a hug and she sobbed for several minutes.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, that was very brave of you."

"They're not going to take me away, are they?"

"No, never, not as long as you want to live here, you may."

"Okay, Mummy," she accepted the tissues I gave her and I asked Sarah to see her out and for Danni to stay with her and no to send anyone else in.

"She was also abducted by her mother after she'd been with us some time, she'd forgotten that. All my children are damaged in some way, Livvie was staying for a weekend with us when her father murdered her mother and killed himself. He instructed his lawyers to ask us to look after her. Need I say more?"

Peter was sniffing back tears after hearing Trish's testimony. "I am so sorry, Cathy, I should have known after what Sarah had said that you loved these children and they were happy with you and Simon. I don't know why I believed my sister, I think she's jealous because she wants Sarah to revert to being a boy, even though we all know that isn't going to happen. But she's jealous because Sarah feels that you're more like a mother than my sister, and hearing what Trish said, I appreciate that more than I did before.

"I can't undo what I did last night, I wish I could and I am sincerely sorry for what happened. I just don't know what came over me. It won't happen again and I doubt Sarah will want me anywhere near her."

Sarah had returned to the table and listened to her uncle, she was silently weeping as well.

"I'm sorry, I put Trish through that," said Andy, "but I knew her story and I knew she was capable of telling it coherently. I didn't realise she was still so upset about it seeing as she's been with you nearly ten years."

"It's very deep seated stuff, Andy and even we have to be a little careful with her. You know when you jokingly threaten to send them to the cat's home if they don't behave, Trish gets really upset, she is terrified she could be sent away again, despite my vows to never do such a thing.

"Danni came from the same home along with Billie, my little girl who died, she, Danni that is, was taken by an officious social worker and dumped in a boy's home despite Danni trying to prove she was a girl. She was upset for weeks and I took the social worker and the department to court. She lost her job and was struck off the register, the council made a very large donation to a children's charity.

"Danni, despite appearing beautiful and fearless was with me when we happened across the woman in a supermarket, she attacked us and Danni was very upset. The woman tried to infect my computer in the university with child pornography, but we were able to prove it was a set up."

"The two detectives involved were so prejudiced against Lady Cameron that the police were only able to carry out an effective investigation after they were removed from the case by which time Cathy had solved the case for them. One of the woman's family had infiltrated the department as a technician and tried to plant the porn on the computer. They were all prosecuted and got some jail time."

Peter looked even more sad if that was possible. "I had no idea this sort of thing went on. It makes feel even sicker when I realise the injustices done to you and your girls by people with such malice in their hearts. I am so ashamed of what I did last night. I've lost you as a client, as a old school friend and I've probably lost my favourite niece as well." He burst into tears and we all sat feeling very uncomfortable witnessing his catharsis, I noticed Sarah was weeping silently, then she got up and walked to me and buried herself in my hug, now sobbing inconsolably.

I felt like saying to Peter, 'You probably have done all that and more because you betrayed us and we will never know if we can ever trust you again.' I didn't, I just nodded at Andy, who said it was time they left. Leaving Simon and me to clear up the mess.

I shouldn't have allowed Andy to question Trish and it took me several hours to calm her down. Sarah was also very upset and she called me Mummy several times during the day. She may have been twenty physically, but she was much younger emotionally and I asked Stephanie to come to dinner and why. She sorted them out and also tore a strip off me, which I accepted.

Later that evening as Sarah was going up to bed, she asked again if she could listen to me lecture the next day. I couldn't say no after the weekend she'd had, though I did wonder if I'd be up to my usual standards the next day. Somehow I was in sparkling form and both Debbie and Sarah watched me perform. It was basic ecology and I used some old tricks and gimmicks I hadn't done for a few years and because they hadn't seen it before, it went down rather well.

Am I the teacher I used to be? Occasionally, but the responsibilities of office tend to restrict that energy and opportunity, which is sad but apparently necessary.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3331 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####
Sarah and Debbie followed me back to my office, what I didn't tell you was that the two of them began applauding as I finished, somehow it caught on and the whole theatre was standing and applauding, so I had to acknowledge them with a curtsey, which made things worse, noise-wise. I hate to think what anyone in the next theatre or upstairs may have thought.

"That was brill, Auntie Cathy. I hope you teach on my course occasionally."

"You liked it then?" I said which was rhetorical but she chose to answer it.

"That was the best lecture I ever remember attending," Sarah replied, "It had everything including humour."

"I'd have thought they'd all have heard the one about the 'hare'restorer' long ago." That was my corniest joke, but they were a good audience and much bigger than I expected our first year were."

"It was full to capacity, Diane," said Debbie, there were even people standing at the back."

"Yes, the prof does seem to have celebrity status when she lectures that we get students from other modules and even other subjects come to listen. Mind you I did put a notice up in the library, so it may have encouraged the odd one."

"You did what?" I gasped at my PA cum secretary as Nikki hadn't returned, mind you we hadn't broken any more crocks or dropped the copier toner since. Poor kid, I must find out how she is.

"You young lady, home and do some study," I said to Sarah.

"Yes, Mummy," she said as she disappeared.

Debbie's jaw dropped, "Have you adopted another one?" she said.

"No, she keeps doing it and I don't know if it's Freudian wishful thinking or she's trying to get me to allow it."

"It could cause problems when she starts here," suggested Diane.

"It could but it won't. I attended here as a post grad student when Daddy had unofficially adopted me and within a short while was calling me his daughter publically. He never taught me, officially anyway, nor marked any of my work. He did offer me advice but that was all." It wasn't quite but we stayed within the rules to prevent any allegations of favouritism or nepotism.

"So are you going to let her adopt you as her mother?" asked Diane.

"Probably not, I don't need any more daughters, I've still got a houseful of them. She also already has a mother, I'd rather help her improve the relationship there."

"It doesn't sound as if that's gonna happen anytime soon, does it?" Debbie, having had some family abuse and hostility was pessimistic."

"That doesn't mean it won't," I said with an air of determination in my tone.

"Still if you do adopt her, let me know, you take me as well." Debbie smirked and slipped through the door before I could say anything.

"Don't you dare say anything," I said to Diane who was practically helpless with laughter.

"Unfortunately, I don't think you can adopt people older than you are, she said nipping into the loo and locking the door.

"I know where you live," I said loudly to gales of laughter emanating from the toilet. Mind you, it probably didn't sound very threatening.

The rest of the day went in much the same way, the exception being that Tom invited me to lunch. I was too busy to go really, but he insisted and I gave in to keep the peace.

"Whit wis Sarah on aboot, wi' her uncle?" he asked me as we waited for our meals to arrive.

"Oh that," I blushed, I expected it to take a day or so longer for him to find out about it and thus have a few more hours to build a narrative. "Peter Dominic apparently was asked to go and see Sarah's mum by Sarah's mum."

"Aye," he nodded.

"Well she apparently went on about some internet article she'd seen about me enticing children and then converting them into girls."

"An' he believed it?"

"Yes, so he decided to remove Sarah from the house, taking her away from a supposed bad influence as he thought, and she objected loudly. I tried to intervene and he called me all sorts of names while trying to grab her. Simon came to see what all the noise was about and Peter insulted him and when Simon asked him to leave and come back when he'd calmed down, he swung at Simon, who dodged it and decked him."

Tom shook his head, "He ought tae ken better than mix it wi' Simon."

"I suppose anger makes us take risks, if he'd hit Simon who knows what would have happened."

"Thae same," he said shaking his head. "Sae is it sorted?"

"Yes, I called the police and Andy came listened to everyone, took Peter away to be checked over for concussion, and then he came the next day and so did Peter to collect his car. He apologised unreservedly and I banned him from the house and the university."

"Ye cannae ban him frae' thae university as he's done nothing wrong tae thae university. Ye can refuse tae see him, but ye cannae ban him."

I accepted he probably knew more about it than I did and agreed with him.

"Why is Sarah callin' ye maither and me Grandpa?"

"I think she's feeling isolated from her family, her mother has practically disowned her unless she reverts, and her uncle upset her over the weekend, so I think she's desperately trying to join a family she know won't judge her and accepts her as she wants to present herself."

"Aye, we'll dae that alricht."

"If her calling you Gramps is a problem, let me know and I'll have a word with her."

"It's nae problem, jest a wee bit unexpected, actually, I quite like it," he smiled to himself, so that was that. "Sae we hae anither granddochter, och weel, ye cannae hae too many."

"I thought that was shoes," I said rolling my eyes, "And I don't know what I think about her calling me mother."

"Och, ye'll get used tae it eventually, ye did wi' Danielle and Julie."

"They weren't twenty when they adopted me."

"Whit aboot Sammi, she must ha' been."

I don't know why I bother arguing with him, he's like the cat, she always wins too because they refuse to accept your argument. Mind you, most of the time it probably is rubbish; unless it's a subject I'm well versed in, I'm not the best debater. I learnt that in grammar school as you might remember and enhanced my girly reputation even more probably not helped by nearly crying after the insults became personalised.

He chatted on about his Vice Chancellor's conference and discovered most of them were paid much more than him. Some of them are paid outlandish sums but universities are businesses these days, except when we can distract them and squeeze a few educational elements through while they're not looking. Like many other universities in England we believed that we were on a gravy train, we had a good reputation for a number of our courses and were increasing facilities including living accommodation, which of course we hired out to the students, thus paying off the loans on them. Except, we were doing very nicely, with two more blocks started and along came Covid. The university has been moving figures around ever since and things of an 'unnecessary' description are sold off rather rapidly.

I don't know what the situation is now as students are returning to more or less full lectures, but I know we've lost quite a few overseas students, who pay bigger fees, so we're losing money. It's partly my responsibility, I have to try and get science papers published or the study or research supported with grants or other funding. Much of what we do is funded by Natural England, but I sometimes have to sell them the idea or put it about that we're about to investigate something I heard they were interested in.

As I drove home, I listened to the news and the reports coming out of Ukraine were heart breaking, I'll never understand that sort of situation and how it happened, but apparently the head of the Russian Orthodox church says it's a just war. It seems according to an article in the i newspaper, that Putin considers he is the custodian of the Rus empire, from about the C14th and that includes Kyiv and he is trying to restore it. That's like the Brits sending an army to recolonise India because we changed our mind about their independence.

Once I got home I sent some more money to the Disasters and Emergency Committee to supply food and so on to Ukraine. I don't know whether Nato keeping a watching and supply brief is good or bad, I suppose they consider to confront Russia would risk nuclear weapons being used and possibly that China might be pulled in on the Russian's side. After my entanglements with the Russian mafia, my thoughts were definitely on the side of the Ukraine, which was developing as a vibrant democracy, which might have been what provoked Putin, that and his megalomania supported by his church. The sooner he falls the better, he's a monster who spends most of his time in his fortress partly because he's terrified of Covid.

"Are we gonna adopt Sarah?" asked Trish while I was sitting in my study drinking a cuppa.

"I don't think so."

"Well the rest of us think we should, she needs loving parents and lots of sisters and we'd like to have her as a sister."

"Thank you for your opinion on the matter." I dismissed her but she didn't go.

"Me, Liv, Han, Meems, Cate, and Lizzie all think so, an' Sammi, Julie an' Phoebe, an' Jacquie have no objections neither." Can thirteen year olds produce faits accomplis? If so I've just had one presented to me.

"Either, you mean," I said picking her up on her grammar.

"Yeah, that too," she said smirking and left giggling.

That's the problem with your kids, they never fight fair. No wonder parents retaliate with moral blackmail, at times it is probably the only way to win, especially as you get older and slow down a bit while your kids are running rings round you. I should have considered all this before I let the first one in.

I took my empty cup out to the kitchen, David was busy with the dinner, he had told me what it was but I'd forgotten, too much weighing down my surviving brain cell. "What's this I hear about Simon thumping someone?"

"It was all a misunderstanding which we've cleared up." I tried to downplay it.

"So there won't be a rematch then?"

"No of course not. Look someone got hold of the wrong end of the stick, got a bit excited got into a bit of ruck with Si who had to clock him. Everyone is friends again so no big deal."

"So why were the police needed?"

I nearly told a huge whopper but then realised it could come back to bite me if I did. "Why don't you ask Simon about it when he's next home, I'm sure he'll give you chapter and verse."

"What better'an Sarah?"

"If you've spoken to Sarah, why bother asking me?"

"You're always telling me that newspapers don't check their facts enough, so I'm just doin' a bit o' fact checkin'."

"I'm sure Sarah gave you all the facts and more."

"Whatja mean, more?"

"Well how she felt about what happened, she must have been frightened as well as upset."

"How could her mother do such a thing to her and to you?" David was beginning to annoy me.

"I don't know, I've never met the woman nor do I wish to."

"She's a bigot, isn't she?"

"I think that epithet might fit her, but not having met her I can't say for sure."

"Why can't people mind their own business?" he said doing something to a spud.

"She is Sarah's mother, so she's entitled to voice her opinion but the girl has been diagnosed as GID and is having treatment for it, she also seems well adjusted as a young woman, so it seems she's doing the right thing, though as you well know, we can never be certain."

"No because women like to change their minds," he teased.

"And men don't?" I snorted in mock derision.

"Nah, course not, we get it right the first time so don't need no change of mind." He sounded like something out of a gangster movie.

He continued making the dinner and I went and changed out of my suit and now uncomfortable shoes, but I had been wearing them all day.

I had just settled down with a cuppa and a dissertation draft I agreed to look through when the doorbell rang and I heard someone open it and then there were voices. I was tempted to go and see who it was but I stayed where I was and began checking the introduction to the dissertation. I'm so glad I don't have to write these anymore, mind you marking them is nearly as bad.

Suddenly Danni knocked and entered my study and glanced up, she was looking very serious. "What's the problem, sweetheart?"

"There's a lady at the door who claims she is Sarah's mother and she has a copper with her."

"Okay, I'll come." It was certainly going to be more interesting than checking a dissertation, or perhaps nerve-racking may be more accurate.

"Hello," I said offering my hand, "I'm Cathy Cameron," the woman hesitated but shook it very briefly.

"I'm Daphne Spears, Paul's mother though he prefers to call himself, Sarah, he thinks he's trans or whatever they call it." A favourable impression is not what I would consider she was making.

"Do come through to the dining room, Danni, could you make us some teas?" I looked at the woman and she nodded and so did the WPC, she looked quite young and wondered what she was thinking, I hoped she kept an open mind.

We sat at the table and Danni appeared a few minutes later with a tray of tea, three mugs and milk and sugar plus a large pot of tea. I poured and handed out the mugs offering milk and sugar if they required it. She looked at the teapot and her eyes grew, okay it is genuine Spode, but they're owned by Portmeirion these days, so nothing stays the same.

"How can I help you, Mrs Spears?" I offered trying to stay calm and non-threatening.

"I'd like my child back," she said putting down her mug.

"I'm not sure she would want to come back to you and we can't ask her because she is having a tutorial with a colleague at the university." I glanced at my watch, "She'll be back in about half an hour, if you'd like to wait, you may."

"He is only just eighteen, he's still a child, a crazy mixed up one and being with you just makes him worse. You have enticed and enchanted him with your money and clever talk."

"Eighteen is the age of maturity, so Sarah, and I'm using her preferred name and gender, is an adult and thus able to make her own decisions. Isn't that the legal position?" I asked the WPC.

"So I believe, ma'am." At least she was polite.

"I believe you're keeping my son against his will and you've brainwashed him into believing he's some sort of girl, but he's not, he's a boy, you can't change sex, even JK Rowling knows that."

"She's entitled to her opinion, as are you but so are the experts and Sarah is seeing a specialist psychiatrist who deals with gender disorders. It is her opinion that Sarah is gender dysphoric and should be allowed to live as female, which she does. In fact you allowed her to do so eighteen months ago when she went to train as a nursery nurse."

I saw the WPC's eyes widen just a little at this disclosure. So far it was going my way but there would probably be some fireworks before it was over, especially when Sarah arrived.

"I hoped it was just a fad he was going through, but he's kept it up probably because he's too frightened of what you'd say if he went back to being a boy."

"No one is forcing Sarah to present as female but to my knowledge, she hasn't mentioned wanting to do so, in fact, if anything, she seems to be enjoying living as a young woman, and she makes a very attractive one."

"I don't believe you, there was an article on the internet about you and people like you, corrupting young men into becoming homos or drag queens."

"You have a very poor opinion of me which as we have never met before I find rather curious. I'm a university professor so my position is checked regularly as I'm in contact with young people in my occupation, some of whom are vulnerable. we take their protection very seriously."

"So you say, perhaps we should ask some of them," she said to me but looked at the WPC.

"Their identities are protected as well, Mrs Spears and I'd be in breach of the data protection act if I disclosed anything of it." The WPC nodded and began to look bored. I heard a car pull into the drive and looked surreptitiously at the clock, it was almost certainly Sarah. Now things would get interesting.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3332 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####
A minute or so after the car arrived, I heard the back door close and I expected mutterings as Danni or one of the others tipped Sarah off as to who was visiting. What was going to happen next was anybody's guess as she may decide she doesn't want to see her mother or she may come in angry or apologetic.

A moment later Sarah burst into the room and standing just inside the door said loudly, "What's she doing here?"

"That's no way to speak to your mother," said Daphne in reply.

Sarah was having none of it, "You're no longer my mother, you disowned me if you remember?"

"That was a misunderstanding, Paul."

Sarah gave an enraged shriek, "Misunderstanding, you lying cow. You told me to go and not return until I stopped pretending to be a girl. I am a girl, ex-mother, my name is Sarah and Professor Watts is my guardian, not that I need one because I'm eighteen and an adult in my own right."

I hope my surprise didn't show when Sarah said I was her guardian. I'm her employer and mentor possibly protect her as well, so perhaps guardian isn't too far outside that remit.

"You're upset, Paul..."

Sarah interrupted, "How many times do I have to tell you my name is Sarah, not anything else, but you can't even be bothered to call me by my chosen name, so what are you doing here and why have you brought this police officer?"

"I was asked to accompany Mrs Shears to prevent any unpleasantness occurring."

"Well, as you can see, she's the cause of most of it."

"Look, why don't we all calm down and try and act like adults with a degree of politeness and courtesy," I said and called Danni to make us some more tea and bring in some biscuits or cakes as well.

"It's not me who's being impolite, it's him," said Daphne pointing at Sarah.

"Perhaps you could do me the honour of acknowledging Sarah's new name and declared gender, even if you don't like it."

Daphne bristled for a moment but after a bit of huffing and puffing nodded and I thanked her. I reminded her and the policewoman that Sarah had received a diagnosis from at least two gender specialist doctors and was currently seeing Dr Cauldwell who was the local specialist. I was saying that I employed Sarah as a nanny come domestic help and had offered her a place to study biology at the university providing she passed an exam in June. She was receiving tutoring from a colleague at the university, when Danielle came in with another tray of teas and biscuits and announced, "Lizzie needs a feed and there's no milk in the fridge."

"Oh," I said wondering if Stella was doing one of her tricks, me breastfeeding tends to put off the opposition or doubters. "I need to feed my youngest, would you mind if I do it in here as I feel we're still at a crucial point in the proceedings."

If you ask nicely, people rarely refuse as was the case today and I suspect they expected me to do it with a bottle, but I could feel myself to be rather full in the boob department and they were all in for a slight surprise. Danni returned with Lizzie in one arm and the bag of feeding stuff and nappies in the other. A cloth is always necessary because they do tend to dribble. Of course, Lizzie was alleging I was her mother with the limited vocabulary she has, "Ma-ma, ma-ma," she said gurgling at me as soon as she saw me. I took her from Danni and lifted up my top and the baby practically sucked me through my bra, clamping onto my nipple as soon as I undid the bra. Daphne's eyes came out on stalks and the young policewoman gave me a lovely smile.

"Is this some trick?" asked Daphne.

"Uh, no, I'm breastfeeding her."

"I can see that, but how are you doing it, some special operation was it or hormones?"

"Neither, I started lactating when my sister in law was unable to feed her own baby through illness, it was spontaneous and this now the third child I've breastfed. Sadly her mother died rather tragically and I was asked by her father to look after her until he could do so himself. Unfortunately, that can't happen as he died as well, so I'm afraid she seems stuck with me."

"A likely tale, so you're stealing them as babies now, are you?"

"Don't you dare impugn Professor Watts, she's a brilliant mother unlike someone I could name," said Sarah jumping to her feet.

"Oh, and as a boy I'm sure you know all about it, don't you?" Daphne fired back, the policewoman's head going from side to side as if she was watching a tennis match.

"I'm a qualified nursery nurse and nanny, so I think I know quite a bit about baby and childcare."

"Alright little miss know-all, what did I do wrong with you that you turned out to be this travesty in a dress?"

"If I might say something here?" I intervened before we had bloodstains on the Persian carpet. "As far as the science goes, we have no definite cause of gender dysphoria, which means discomfort with one's own gender. It is probably a multifaceted cause involving inter-uterine hormones, other chemicals secreted by the placenta and other parts of the mother, stress levels and possibly some genetic element as well. So it's rather complex and no one's fault, it just happens."

"So Paul just happened to want to be a girl?"

"I suspect, Sarah has been aware that she wasn't a boy quite a few years ago but was unable to do anything about it, which is a common occurrence."

"Pity, if she had I'd have taken him to the doctor and asked him to cure him."

"There is no cure other than allowing the individual concerned to become who they feel they are, which usually helps reduce stress levels and with the more enlightened climate today, they are usually supported by employers or educational institutions, but sadly, not always by families, though that is improving."

"That's the problem today, no moral fibre, if we didn't indulge them, they'd soon come to their senses and see how stupid they look." Daphne was on her high horse and I began to wonder if this was going to end well or not. At this moment it didn't look promising.

"See what I have to put up with?" Sarah said abjectly and slumped in her chair tears running down her face. The policewoman looked very uncomfortable. "You sound like something from Q-Anon," accused Sarah, looking in her bag for a tissue.

"What's that?" asked Daphne.

"An American organisation which is very far right and which promulgates all sorts of racist, political and homophobic lies and nonsense, such as Trump won the presidential election against Biden and that Biden stole it."

"I don't care who won it," she said disdainfully.

"No, that doesn't entirely surprise me," I let slip and blushed and just then Lizzie chose to teethe on my nipple. I had to pull her off and switched her to the other breast hoping she didn't chew on that one.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked aggressively.

"I'm not surprised that you have little interest in what happens in foreign countries."

"No I don't, stupid Americans."

"I suspect they think the same about us, especially with the specimen we have in Number Ten at the moment."

"There's nothing wrong with Boris, at least he got us out of bloody Europe," asserted Daphne and the young copper looked at her with slight disgust. Carry on missus and you'll alienate everyone, but the copper and I will remain polite but possibly with an element of contempt involved too. Daphne was showing her bigotry and poor cognitive skills.

"I think we should keep to our own topic, don't you, Mrs Spears?"

"Yes, get your stuff and I'll take you back to Bristol," she addressed to Sarah.

Sarah, shaking her head, replied, "What part of no, don't you understand? I'm staying here where I'm amongst people who love and support me and who care and understand me. I'm not coming back to you ever. So why don't you just piss off back to your cave you stupid bigot?" With that, Sarah stood up and ran out of the room.

"How dare he talk to me like that? Is this what you teach them to do at this posh university of yours?"

"No, and she doesn't talk to me like that or anyone else here, come to think of it."

"No, because you're all as queer as he is, aren't you, all homos and pretend women and child abusers, bloody paedos."

"Mrs Spears, before you give me grounds to sue you for slanderous accusations in front of a professional witness, I suggest you leave and take your disagreeable opinions with you."

"I'm just going, I won't stay a moment longer in this den of iniquity," she bristled picking up her handbag.

"Are you sure you actually know the meaning of iniquity?" I asked her as she bustled out of the dining room door and the young police officer snorted. Daphne Spears left slamming the front door behind her before the young copper could get through it.

"Are you okay?" I asked as the door slammed practically in her face.

"Yes, I'm fine," she replied, "I think she has a few attitudinal problems to deal with."

I smiled at her succinct summation of the evening. "If she ever wants to see her daughter again, yes."

"Will you keep her here?" she asked obviously referring to Sarah.

"I'm not keeping her here now, she asked me for employment and I gave her a job. She only stays here as long as she wants to and at the moment, that seems to be her intention."

"Will you adopt her, I believe you have a habit of doing so with gender different kids?"

"I doubt it, but let's face it, someone has to give them a home and I was fortunate to live with a family who agreed that I should and they all support each other, to my mind, it's what families do, support each other with love and affection."

"It would make my job easier if they did," she sighed and said goodbye as she left wandering out to the police car in the drive. I waved her goodbye and shut the door.

Neither Sarah nor I fancied any food but we did have some soup a bit later with a slice of bread. Before that, I went up to Sarah's room and she was curled up on her bed with Danni trying to comfort her. Danni left after I nodded to her. I sat alongside the weeping teen and stroked her shoulder. "It's okay, she's gone," I said and Sarah half sobbed and half muttered some sort of reply.

I sat with her for several minutes neither of us saying anything until she rolled over and looked at me through bloodshot eyes and asked, "Will you be my mother now?"

Oh boy, don't they always ask such easy questions? Now, what do I do or say?

"I'll act as an older woman for you to offer advice and support as much as I can."

"Thanks, Mummy," she said and hugged me.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3333 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####
The next day we all felt a bit jaded after Daphne Shears visit, she'd taken a great deal of our energy both in repressed anger and the frustration of not being able to say what we really felt to her, that she was mean spirited bigot who wanted to control her daughter and suppress her development.

I spoke with Stephanie after breakfast and she asked what was for dinner. I had no idea but said if she was inviting herself, I was sure I could persuade David to make something both tasty and nutritious. "What time?" she shot back at me.

I didn't know if Sarah would be happy to see her or not as she hadn't appeared for breakfast so I decided to pop and check she was all right. Danni had eaten and disappeared and I wondered if she'd just gone to apply her makeup and do her hair or if she'd gone to see Sarah. It turned out to be the latter. They were engaged in quite an animated conversation which I felt I needed to disturb.

"Hello, girls," I started, "How did you sleep, Sarah?"

"I was too angry to sleep easily when I thought how that woman showed you such disrespect in your own house, you showed her great self-control and acted like a lady, which you are. I was ashamed of her, Mummy," she said and I watched Danni's shaped eyebrows rise and fall.

"It wasn't worth the effort to answer her back except with politeness and calmly tell her the truth as we see them, which is supported by at least two experts, whereas her's appeared to be the ramblings of some Facebook group of ill-educated bigots." Both girls laughed at my reply.

"I wish I had your self-control and didn't let her get to me, Mummy." Sarah used the M-word again and once more Danielle's eyebrows went slightly up her forehead.

"It's something which comes with practice and experience but also in knowing that it's also part of the process of outmanoeuvring an opponent by refusing to engage them on an emotional level. They get frustrated because they want to turn it into a slanging or shouting match which no one wins. However, by remaining calm iy enables you to think more clearly and have some sort of strategy to use to beat them. Occasionally it goes wrong, usually when some oaf gets even more wound up and wants to thump you and doesn't have the control not to."

"What do you do then?" asked Danielle.

"Try and turn any onlookers against that sort of action, or run away if the coast is clear."

"But you usually clobber them first." Danni was enjoying this.

"No I don't, but I also don't like allowing people a chance to hit me, it hurts and I've taken my share of beatings over the years, so yes I do tend to be a bit more proactive and may make a pre-emptive strike. However, the man who taught me to defend myself gave me the following advice, never fight if you can run, but know where you're running so you don't trap yourself. Also always see what assistance there is if you have to fight. I f you think you're going to get hurt, use anything available that you can hit them with or stab them or throw at them. If you find a weapon to use like a club aim for elbows and knees, it hurts and it slows down any pursuit, but you have to be quick, like something out of the Bourne trilogy. If you can kick or punch someone ten times in as many seconds, one of them might put him down and you then can finish him off or deal with another attacker, they often work in small gangs and sadly these days, carry knives. If someone pulls one of those, you neutralise them at the first opportunity, because they are looking to hurt or kill you."

"Wow, Mummy, I'd never have thought you were so violent," gasped Sarah.

"I'm not but neither am I dead when several people have tried to make me so."

"What dead?" she really did gasp.

"Yeah, they've tried to kill her several times," offered Danni, "but she always gets the better of 'em."

"Some of it is having practiced moves, somersaults or dropkicks, or striking with elbows. I was once trapped by three men, two I kept in view but the third grabbed me from behind. When they thought they had me, I jumped up and kicked the nearest one pushing myself and the one behind me backwards and we fell. He let me go on landing on his back so I back somersaulted off him elbowing him in the throat as I went, jumped sideways as the third one came at me with a knife and threw a chair into his legs he fell over it and I hit him with another before he could get up. I then ran like hell and told the police what happened."

"How long ago was that, Mummy," asked Danni.

"Oh, years ago it was in Bristol, I was at Sussex and had gone home for a weekend and these three decided they wanted to do some queer-bashing. I looked an easy target."

"So they were wrong on a number of things, you're not gay and you weren't an easy target."

"One of them broke an arm the other I think hurt his knee falling over the chair. One of them did see me again and tried it on in a pub. He pulled a knife and..."

"Goodness, Mummy, what did you do?" Sarah looked quite shocked.

"I asked him if he had a fork to match then hit him with a fire extinguisher. I think I probably broke his wrist but I ran off double-quick while he was howling at the moon."

"I thought women were the gentler sex?" said Sarah.

"Not in many mammals, meerkats being one, the clan is ruled by a dominant female who is absolutely ruthless and she will kill the babies of any other females, drive out her sisters, who are then doomed to die. Hyenas are run by a dominant female and so are baboons and killer whales."

"Why don't they teach this in biology courses?" asked Sarah.

"Because you need to have basic biology before you can even start to understand what you see these groups of animals doing. Some of these facts are only known because ethologists spend lots of their time watching and recording these things and then try to work out what is happening. I'll loan you the book I'm reading when I've finished it. It's by Lucy Cooke who is a zoologist and writer and tv presenter. It's called Bitch: A revolutionary guide to sex, evolution and the female animal. It's full of interesting things they don't tell you on courses unless you have a feminist teacher, one who's done some research and shown that occasionally Darwin was wrong because he believed in passive females, so those that took the initiative in sex completely baffled him and he tended to skirt round them."

"What? Darwin was wrong? Isn't that a present for the creationists?" Danni asked showing a degree of maturity and understanding that she seemed to possess these days.

"Only in some areas, on the whole, his natural selection works really well but remember he was a prisoner of his time and Victorian culture, especially middle-class Victorian culture where women had babies and looked after supervising the maids. Most of them may have gone to finishing school but they didn't become educated there except in how to find a wealthy husband and hang on to him."

I was half waiting for one of them to say, "Is that what you did?" but they resisted the temptation.

"Are you coming down for breakfast, young lady?" I addressed Sarah.

"If it's not too late," she said jumping up from her bed, she was dressed.

"No, but don't eat too much or you won't want any lunch."

"I won't, Mummy." She came down with me and ate a small bowl of cereal and we had some tea sitting at the kitchen table. I like this house, Mummy, I feel loved here."

I nearly choked on my tea before answering, "It's not the house but the people who live here, they are very loving."

Of course, Trish had to spoil it, "Where's Livvie, I'm gonna kill her," she declared as she rushed through the kitchen.

"I see what you mean, Mummy," she said and we both laughed.

"They're both very bright and extremely competitive, so sometimes tempers flare but it's usually over quite quickly." In about two weeks it would be Easter, it seemed impossible that the time was moving so quickly, or was that a sign of old age?

Ten minutes later as David had come in to make lunch, I mentioned we had an extra for dinner, he nodded and he continued to prepare lunch. I'm surprised I'm not fatter than I actually am, especially with David's wonderful cooking. Trish came back into the kitchen after a drink followed by Livvie, they went off together as if nothing had happened. Sarah noticed this and gave me a meaningful look and understanding of what I'd said earlier.

I expect in the next day or two that she will ask me to show her how to maim and kill people while defending herself. They always do until they realise how hard the practice is. I can't teach them all-in fighting, because you need to have prepared spaces so they can see that everyday items can be weapons, but I can show her some basic kickboxing and some useful movements like somersaults to escape being held or hit. My overwhelming advice would always be see if you can talk your way out of it and run for it. Fast cowards tend to live longer than slow heroes.

Remembering the violence of the attack I described earlier reminded me of the men I killed in Scotland. I know they were trying to kill me but I still feel ashamed of having done it. I bore the mark of Cane and would remember it for the rest of my life.

I went to my study and looked at my emails, Diane had sent some after I'd left yesterday. Oh well, let's get stuck into them. I beavered away for just over an hour and the gong went for lunch. I think David was doing some tuna sandwiches on homemade bread, absolutely delicious and it fed my addiction beautifully. We had side salads and so forth, but the sandwiches were gorgeous, or I thought so and as I pay him...

Sarah did what I pay her for and looked after the youngsters while I read some more of my Lucy Cooke book. It really is very easy reading. The post arrived and I received the latest edition of the BENHS journal, which is the British Entomological and Natural History Society, which is 150 years old this year. It's quite a technical journal and often has pictures of dissected out genitalia of various insects, it being the only way to identify them, the Amateur Entomologist's Society one came yesterday and that had very similar types of articles and photos of dissected genitalia. I tend to lose track of just how many organisations I belong to, though we have a shelf full of journals in magazine holders as after reading them I store them away in order so I can find them. These sorts of organisations have a number of professionals in them, often running them and many of the amateur members are also pretty expert in their chosen field.

Part of my problem has always been a desire to try everything which means that I am foremost interested in dormice and similar mammals, but I also enjoy doing pond dipping or kick sampling for freshwater invertebrates, and as I've mentioned several times, I've been doing it since I was a kid. Sadly, not as often as I'd like but then that goes for most of the fieldwork I do. That's when I start to really enjoy myself and I hope I always will.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3334 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####

Something I was thinking of doing was signing up for the Riverfly Partnership and the project they run. Basically, it was set up by groups of anglers because they felt the quality of the rivers they were fishing was deteriorating but they had no way of proving it. They set about trying to do that and with the assistance of some professional groups and some local authorities they developed a system using biotic data to show how good or bad the river is.

By biotic data, I mean the live things they use to categorise their water purity and siltation rate. They now have a very useful system that relies on volunteers going out monthly to check a stretch of river which they do by kick-sampling for three minutes. Kick-sampling is holding a hand net, one that is designed to cope with the rigours of various sampling methods has a square or oblong shaped frame and you simply wade out in your river or stream, place the head of the net downstream of you and kick up the riverbed for the required time, catching any invertebrates in the net which you then empty into a tray add some more water and identify your catch.

The species are weighted so that you score so much for each that you catch and the way the numbers are weighted tells you if your river is clean or has problems. It's relatively simple, though it took years and lots of work by freshwater ecologists and biologists to sort out the weighting and it was tested against a similar much-used system and arrived at the same conclusion, so it works. It's called the ARMI system which stands for the Angler's River Monitoring Initiative. These days it's run by the Freshwater Biological Association who are based in Cumbria by Lake Windermere, but it's genuine citizen science and thousands of volunteers do the surveys every month, but it has led to the Environment Agency being called in to investigate pollution incidents, and as with all emergencies, the quicker you act the easier they are to sort.

Each area has a trigger point based upon the calculations made on the invertebrate totals and once that is reached the point is passed back up the chain of command and the appropriate agency informed. I accept it was started by people who were serving their own interests, ie the anglers, but at least they did something positive when they realised the Environment Agency only gets off its bum when they have hard data given to them and usually even then, thousands of fish and other creatures die. However, someone is noticing these things and hopefully, it means things will change and illegal polluters, whoever they are, will be caught and prosecuted.

As the database grows, research using it may be able to show if climate change is causing problems by dint of extreme weather events which means watercourses may dry up or be washed out with flash flooding; the latter often being made worse by sewage overflow discharges made by various water companies not doing the remedial work they should have done and declaring a severe weather event even when there wasn't one so they could dump untreated sewage into the river system. This endangers everyone as it pollutes possible drinking water, causes eutrophication - an overgrowth of algae or bacteria, and kills many fish and invertebrates and possibly aquatic plants and riverbank plants as well. In fact, the only ones who profit are the water companies, which is probably why it happens plus a lax and sloppy regulatory body who have seen their funding drop each year as part of current government practice. Politicians wax lyrical but act only in their own interests.

The weather has been reasonably warm and dry for the time of year and with Easter practically here, it hasn't realised it's a bank holiday on Friday and Monday because usually, it rains on them. However, it also means we won't be going far as the roads are congested for the whole weekend, especially near the coast, which we are. But typical of the rail network, they are running virtually no trains while they carry out repairs or maintenance, so it's buses or cars or air travel and that's been affected by staff shortages caused by Covid. Yes, that little bug(ger) is still around and still making susceptible people ill. According to one paper I saw, 1.5M people have had some form of Covid for over 3 months, which constitutes Long Covid and some have suffered quite severe illness that has been recurrent. All because some morons in China caught some bush meat, fruitbats, and they were infected by a novel virus while doing so. Serves them right, bush meat, unless there is no farmed equivalent available, is disgusting especially when it appears on the menus of expensive US or European restaurants.

I'm reading reports of Russian cruelty and barbarism in Ukraine and while I'm sure most Russian people are decent enough, there seems to be a significant number who act like savages with hundreds of Ukrainians being executed in towns near Kyiv. These are war crimes but I doubt anyone will ever be prosecuted for it, if you recall they tried to poison two Russians in Salisbury a few years ago with Novichok, both survived though some months later a member of the public died through contact with the poison which was disguised as expensive perfume. To my mind, Russian intelligence agents trying to kill people who were naturalised British citizens on British soil is an act of war.

It reminded me of being in Cyprus and visiting Aphrodite's bath, a cave that always has water in it, even in summer and watching the antics of a Russian man and his delinquent son who were lobbing stones into the pond inside the cave trying to see a giant ell that's supposed to live there. It was an act of vandalism at an ancient site and I came close to shoving them both in it but resisted the urge in case they polluted the pond with their disgusting bodies.

I suppose as well, seeing how many times they've tried to kill me or the Cameron family, over the past few years or create bad propaganda about individuals or the bank generally, and it's unlikely that I should like Russians, also the president whose lunacy created this war in the first place and which is being run very badly against a country which has had to beg, borrow or steal weapons to resist one of the largest armies in the world and this week, we hear they sank a battlecruiser, the Russian's flagship. It shows that Putin and his inner coterie got it all wrong and that the competence and reputation of the Russian military, are exaggerated. However, Russia is still a nuclear power as Putin keeps reminding us, presumably to stop NATO from being drawn into the equation, which could pull in the Chinese as well and before you know it a world war has begun.

I was musing on these while hiding large bars of chocolate that I'd bought for the children as well as Simon and Stella as their Easter eggs. I've said before that those are a rip-off and a bar of chocolate is much better value but even that is shrinking as the prices increase with inflation and other causes like the war in Ukraine.

Something I hadn't appreciated was that Ukraine is a major supplier of wheat and that Russia is one of white fish. I eat both so am watching their prices very carefully.

"Are we doin' anythin' for Easter?" asked Trish who appears to only have twenty-five letters in her alphabet, the G seems absent.

"I don't think so, sweetheart, why?"

"Well, half my class have gone away and we never do anythin' like that, do we?"

"Not for bank holidays, sadly many of those people who were hoping to go abroad are likely to spend as much time waiting for their planes or ferries as they do on actual holiday."

"We coulda gone to Scotland, no planes or ferries needed for that, is there?"

"Whenever it is raised as a possible destination for a holiday, you always say no, why the change of heart?" I have to watch this one like a hawk while trying to work out what the real question is.

"Sarah hasn't seen it has she?"

"Sarah has only been with us five minutes and at the moment there are other priorities before Stanebury. When you're older, I'm sure if you speak nicely to your father, he'll let you go up there as you want."

"When I'm older, it's always when I'm bloody well older. I suppose the same will apply to the villa on Menorca, will it?"

"Possibly, why?"

"We never go anywhere, we've got houses all over the place but we never go there."

"What would you like to do, go to Bristol?"

"I dunno, do I? But it woulda been nice to do something." She stomped off and I still wasn't sure what she wanted. Was it to go away, to be entertained or what? She didn't seem to understand that Si and I work so hard that just being home for a few days is so good for boosting energy levels before we sink beneath all the paperwork and disappear completely. They said paperwork would be redundant by about 2010 and here we are in 2022 and it seems to be just as bad as ever. The only people who seem to have prospered are the utilities who no longer send out bills but send you an email instead. It's like supermarkets who con you into doing your own checkout on an automated till or take some sort of reader around with you and click it as you pick goods up and the banks are just as bad. I sent Julie and Phoebe some cash for Easter through the bank, shove in my card put in their account details and how much, and it's done in seconds. I could do it via my computer but I don't trust online banking, especially as I get things wrong on the computer as often as I get it right.

I did some research on invertebrates and the Riverfly project recently and had problems with some of the papers i wanted to look at, couldn't even get them to show me their abstracts. I called the library several times but none of them was terribly helpful, it was only when I spoke to a young Scotsman on the library helpline that I got some explanation and a solution.

Apparently, some websites use add-ons and those can react with other sites and block you from using them, which is beyond the library's control. However, by going in on the incognito version of Google, I found the papers I wanted and either read what I wanted or downloaded them with no problem. So I knew what I'd be doing over the weekend given a chance - reading these papers to bring myself up to date on how they sample invertebrates these days, might be an idea if I check my equipment too, nets and trays ID guides, some of which I've had since I was about twelve when I used to go pond dipping quite a lot. Did some at A-level and a bit when I was at Sussex, but I ended up doing small mammals and I suppose I shouldn't complain because I've done really quite well.

Danni came to see me when I was sorting through my aquatic survey equipment. "Muuum, what's all this I hear about British Cycling stopping a trans woman racing against other women?"

"Oh, it's a typical overreaction by a sport when someone complains about the issue, it'll settle down eventually when we get common sense instead of opinions, why?"

"Well, is it gonna happen in soccer next?"

"Why should it? Besides you're probably the only one playing professional women's soccer."

"Yeah, but Emily Bridges is just one there, too."

"Well, your club knows, the FA know, has anyone said anything yet?"

"No, but it's gotta be just a marrer of time, init?"

"Speak properly, Danielle, you're not a stevedore or a barrow boy."

"Wossamatta with 'ow i speaks?" she said deliberately to wind me up but I wasn't playing.

"Juist ye watch yer ting no gets stuck in yer chaft, ye wee nyaff," I said quickly back to her in as broad a Glaswegian accent as I could, I didn't use 'Jimmy' as a form of address but otherwise I knew she'd have difficulty deciphering it.
"What?" she said looking completely bemused.

"You heard what I said."

"Yeah, but I didn't understand it."

"Perhaps because I was speaking in dialect."

"You was talkin' like Gramps only worse."

"Wha wis takkin' like me?" announced Daddy had arrived.

"Mummy was."

"Aye, weel, she's Scots, sae whit dae ye expect?"

"But she talks normally most of the time."

"She's complaining because I replied to her trying to be clever by talking like someone from the dockyard."

"I was just talkin' Pompey, Gramps an' she spouted this Scottish gibberish which I didn't understand."

"Whit did ye say?" he asked me.

"Juist ye watch yer ting no gets stuck in yer chaft, ye wee nyaff,"

He roared and Danni stood there looking even more confused.

"What did she say to me?" she asked her grandpa.

"Be careful yer tongue disnae get stuck in yer cheek, ye scallywag."

"Duh!" exclaimed Danielle before she turned around and left daddy and I in the big cupboard off the utility room, where I was looking at my hand net. "They're all barmy," she said loudly as she left.

Daddy just roared with laughter and I had to admit I was chuckling too.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3335 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####
I looked again at the pond dipping net and the various pots and trays I had in a bag, a large supermarket bag. I pulled it all out to the table in the utility room and began sorting through the treasures. Some of this stuff I must have had since I was about twelve. two glass pipettes that the rubber had perished and gone all funny. Don't know if you can buy spare bulbs for them. I'd got some plastic ones somewhere, not bulbs but whole pipettes, one or two-millilitre things, we use loads in the labs.

In a pencil tin, I must have had since I was thirteen, Royal Sovereign Pencils, I bet they don't even make them anymore, I found a scalpel handle and some blades in paper with a blob of paraffin wax to hold them in place, a pair of fine-pointed forceps, a camel hair brush and a probe I made myself by forcing a sewing needle into a dip pen holder, having removed the nib. I think it was an old one of my dad's, the pen handle. There was an old teaspoon, and a pencil to write in my notebook, which has long since disappeared.

Considering, all I had to work with when I was a young teenager was John Clegg's, Observer's book of pond life and the larger format book which I had as a reward for saving that old chap's life, with the inscription, To Charlotte. Still, it's easier to say they got my name wrong as a girl than they got my name wrong and I was a boy at the time, or my parents thought so. I did love those dungarees.

Nowadays I have a shelf full of books on insects and invertebrates, their identification and ecology as far as it's known, plus a folder full of papers on these critters as well as on mammals and birds and wildflowers and even mosses and liverworts. I've got quite good at using keys providing the bits you're comparing aren't too much fiddle to find. Some of the stuff I see in my journals from entomological societies I belong to have incredible photos of slides of dissected and stained genitalia from some tiny fly I'd never even heard of, which makes the slides I used to make in university look a poor second. Then dissecting insects, especially to that level, is very much a very skilful level of activity both in identifying them and then dissecting out the bits you need to prove it and beyond my lowly skills.

But we all have to find our own levels in the things we do and compared to what I could do with a pond dipping net thirty years ago, I should be able to improve upon as an adult and seeing as we have a pond in the garden, I was checking out my kit for doing some dipping that afternoon. I'll mention it to the girls and maybe one or two will be interested in assisting me.

"Wotcha doin', Mummy?" asked Trish when she came to ask about what we were doing after lunch, which was imminent.

"I'm sorting out my pond dipping kit, why?"

"You gonna sell it on e-Bay?"

"No, I'm going to use it this afternoon."

"Where?"

"In the pond in the garden."

"Oh, I keep forgetting we have one out there."

"I don't know why, you've fallen in it often enough," I threw back at her.

"Is there anything in there worth catching?"

"I don't know, and until we've had a look, we won't know, will we?"

"Can I come with you?"

"Of course you can, sweetheart." I showed her all the stuff I had. These days the trays biologists use for examining their catches ate plastic, these were enamel ones and at least twice as heavy but less likely to bend or distort when you have water in them, and I now had help to cart the stuff out to the pond and I used to carry this on my own as a thirteen-year-old girl. Yes, girl. I didn't have a male puberty, so I was a girl - semantics - who cares?

The gong went for lunch and I left my equipment, went and washed my hands and ate the broccoli and salmon quiche that David had made with accompanying watercress salad. It was gorgeous and not too heavy for our challenging task of identifying invertebrates of a freshwater variety. Trish announced what we were doing and Hannah decided she'd come with us. I collected my x10 hand lens from my fieldwork jacket and also grabbed the hand lens I used to use as a girl, which was actually quite good. There was a shop that used to sell stamps and things for philatelists and they had lenses and also magnifiers on a stand. I've still got one with a flexible column on a heavy metal base, I got about the same time. I'd saved for it from my pocket money and my parents were quite pleased that I didn't spend it on sweets or worse but bought something useful. Nowadays, in my study, I have a table I use as a makeshift laboratory bench, it stands upon, along with the binocular microscope I 'borrowed' from the university, which is covered with a plastic bag to keep the dust off it. I also have a more modern stand magnifier with LED lighting and a cover to stop sunlight shining through it and burning the house down.

In the cupboard alongside the table, I have my own compound microscope and about a thousand boxed slides I made or bought when I was a student. I paid for it by selling slides to slackers, to replace it today would cost thousands, but it was a good instrument in those days and it's securely locked in its carry case in the locked cupboard.

We carted the stuff out to the pond, Trish took the net and I carried the bag and Hannah brought along one or two books we'd use to try and identify things. I hoped we'd all have some good fun.

Sadly, the first thing we pulled out of the pond wasn't an invertebrate but a rather well-deceased hedgehog. I was sure we had a ramp for them to scramble out on. We had but it had rotted and broken. I suspended our dipping, grabbed a spade and dug a grave for the expired tiggy winkle and then placed a new ramp in the one corner of the pond. Meanwhile, Trish had washed the net out under the tap we have outside the utility room.

We tried again and this time we had a couple of palmate or common newts, which we examined, photographed and replaced back in the water. I hope we didn't catch them too often. Hannah had a go and apart from pondweed, we had a couple of gammarids or freshwater shrimps, a hog-louse which is related to woodlice and had nothing to do with hogs, hedge or otherwise, and a dragonfly larva.

Using the book, with a bit of guidance from me, Trish decided our 'pond dragon' was a broad-bodied chaser, Libellula depressa and I explained how they have a jaw which lies under the head and extends out to catch its prey rather quickly and it will even take small fish or tadpoles but in turn may be eaten by other predators, even a larger version of its own species.

I explained that dragonflies were an ancient type of insect and had been around when the dinosaurs had inhabited the land and even before then, arising in the Carboniferous period about 400 million years ago. Then they were huge compared to modern versions due to the higher oxygen level of the atmosphere, havinf wingspans of over a foot. Imagine having one of those hit you while you were out on your bike.

We also caught loads of different fly larvae like those of the non-biting midges and mosquitoes which as larvae are fine but as adult females, they're after our blood to produce their eggs and when they bite they clear their stylets - their stabbing tubes - by passing some saliva through them which contains and anticoagulant and any bacteria or other contaminants they may have, malaria being one of them in hotter climes and this is how they disperse the disease, having picked it up from an infected person or animal earlier. We have Anopheles species in Northern Europe and malaria was a problem centuries ago, and was called ague. If climate change continues, which it will, as the temperatures climb, malaria could become a problem again in places we haven't had it for two hundred or more years.

Insects are such an important part of our world and while some are problematic spreading disease or damaging our food or homes, we would find life very difficult without the ecosystem services provided by so many, such as pollination which is well known for involving bees, both social and solitary but also wasps, beetles and possibly most of all, flies. We'd also be up to our eyeballs in manure if beetles and flies didn't remove it for us, some also clean up freshwater systems for us by filtering out particles of organic material, including our own waste. In some places insects are eaten as part of the normal diet and remember as well how we enjoy seeing things like butterflies or other creatures which feed upon insects, such as many species of birds, not to mention my beloved dormice, for which insects play quite a part in their summer diet.

We uncovered some beetle larvae and a few water bugs, some of which eat plant material and some which eat each other, including their own species. Insects are declining worldwide with North America and Northern Europe suggesting that the decline over the past twenty-five or so years could be as much as 75%, caused by habitat destruction and agricultural chemicals and not helped by climate change. I saw recently in a paper about bees that in the future we may lose our larger bees like bumblebees as the climate warms and that bees in the future may become smaller physically.

People usually can't accept how many insects we've lost until you ask them to recollect how dirty their windscreens got back in the 1980s and how few insects now get splattered on them because there simply aren't as many insects to collide with cars.

Having said that, a friend sent me some barn owl pellets to dissect and analyse and before i realised what was in the box, I had moths everywhere, yes, clothes moths, they feed upon the fur and feathers that end up in owl pellets not to mention the natural fibres in our homes of clothing and carpets and other fabrics.

The girls enjoyed their pond dipping, Danielle was playing football so wasn't about once she'd had lunch she was off to Reading, conveyed by the taxi firm we employed some months ago. Now she's got used to it and recognises some of the drivers - they're all women - she doesn't mind it half as much as she did at first.

A few days later and I was back in work and so were Simon and Stella, so Sarah really had her work cut out for her, but with a little help from David, she stopped them from trashing the house or holding huge parties.

Diane had had a good break and was quite chatty when we met on the first day back. It was the last thing I needed because I had so much work on my desk, including a need to do another report for the bank as they felt they wanted to emphasise their reputation as the world's greenest bank.

Not being aware of what other banks are or aren't doing, I don't know if that is a true description, but certainly, High Street are trying to maintain their green investment and I'm trying my best to make sure they do.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3336 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####
278 Dozen for the non-bakers among us.
I got Diane to call my assistant at the bank, she put the call through a few moments later. This is a new assistant, the previous one went off to pastures new and a few thousand more at some other institution, insurance, I think. Anyway, Lottie, is the new one and she has a degree in environmental science and is very keen, so when I asked her to see what other banks were up to in selling green issues, she rolled up her sleeves and researched it very thoroughly. I'm trying to talk her into studying for a part time master's degree but she says she's happy for the moment.

Apart from supposedly only investing in green companies, avoiding oil companies or armaments, most don't seem to be doing very much. One was offering tips upon its website to save money on fuel, save fuel - duh. Yeah, save money, freeze to death with a friend.

I suggested we put up a thing on our website on how to avoid problems of debt with energy bills and it was more about some low interest loans we offered for a limited period. It must be awful if you're on a low income and struggling to pay the rent and heating and feeding a family, no wonder food banks are proliferating. I called my favourite supermarket and asked to speak to the manager, once they knew it was Lady Cameron, they seemed to find him very quickly.

"How can I help you, Lady Cameron?" he said.

"If I give you an order could you deliver it to the local food bank?" I asked.

"I don't see why not, would you like to dictate it to me and I'll organise it."

"Fine, and I started. I wanted a case of large tins of baked beans, a case of peeled tomatoes, case of corned beef, ten 2.5 kg bags of potatoes, a tray of lettuce, a tray of tomatoes, a tray of spring greens..." and so on. By the time I'd finished he totted it up as £500. I gave him my card number and he thanked me for my custom, but also said he would add a hundred pounds of other tinned and fresh produce from the supermarket and have it all delivered together. I asked him not to give my name, I wanted it to be an anonymous donation, which he understood but he would ensure they knew it was mostly from a customer with a bit of the supermarket largesse added. I was happy with that, I know all the supermarkets give food and cleaning things to food banks all the time, but at least I felt I'd helped ours.

I wasn't sure about the women's refuge anymore, because according to the Equalities Commission as a transgender woman, I couldn't use one if I was being abused by a partner. This was a fairly recent ruling and it appears trannie bashing is now the sport of choice in many of the countries who should know better and of course in the democratic republic of Russia, where their would be tsar, Vlad the destroyer Putin, got the courts to bash GLBTQ people even more. The only place possibly worse is the US where several states are doing their damnedest to make life impossible for transgender folk, especially children or their parents.

The right are on the rise, by right I don't mean correct, I mean fascist, ultra conservative, right wing bigot. There's always been an undercurrent of them but since the orange one, they've come out of the woodwork (or from under stones) and are increasingly mainstream. Their arguments are facile or puerile or both and based on selling fear or confusion, so tg kids in the wrong toilets is right up their street. I wish them well, or was that hell? Who cares, they're all bastards anyway.

I can't understand why the word liberal is such a stigma in the US especially as many of their politicians were neo-liberals until recently, presumably they're just neo now? Sounds like someone from a poor man's Matrix.

Diane brought me in a cuppa and some letters to sign I was waiting for Lottie to confirm that no other bank was matching us for green measures. I had an idea and spoke with a contact I had in the Forestry Commission. I told him of my scheme and he agreed to go and ask about it and come back to me. Basically, I was thinking of a joint sponsored initiative between the FC and High St of offering ten native trees to every school with enough land to plant them. Okay, it's more publicity than progress but it involves children and some of them may just remember that trees are good for the environment, carbon capture and mental health and even remember the bank who sponsored them. I sent an email to Lottie to see how many schools there were with enough grounds to plant trees, these were council run schools not fee paying or public schools or academies - they want to plant trees, they can buy their own out of their profits.

If that didn't work, I would suggest we help breakfast clubs in schools by making a donation. It's appalling that many children come to school not having had breakfast, I don't mean teen girls who are terrified of putting on weight or are too lazy to make any, but the younger children who don't have a choice or whose parents don't.

At lunch I ordered a few second-hand books on freshwater biology or species guides and decided I'd spent enough.

I arrived at home and Trish told me she'd been looking at my Freshwater Life book, the one I got for helping to rescue the old man, you know the one, when Sarah asked to look at it and noticed the inscription in the front and asked, 'Who was Charlotte?' Trish told her to ask me.

I sighed, asked David to make me cuppa and I ran up to change out of my suit and into something more comfortable and casual. I trotted back down and went into my study bearing my cuppa when Sarah appeared with her own tea and asked if I would tell her the story of the book inscription.

I could have said no, but I didn't. "My dad mistakenly bought me a pair of dungarees in the hope it would make me want to do messy jobs in the house or garden. He didn't realise they were girls' ones and I wore them at weekends and when I went pond dipping. I explained my kit was straight out of The Observer's Book of Pond Life and I used to tote it to our local pond about a mile away. While passing a house I saw feet sticking out from under a bush and went to investigate. It was an elderly man and as there was no one else in his house I went knocking on neighbour's houses until I found one in and they called the ambulance. They mistook me for a girl with my dungarees and long hair tied back into a ponytail, and made me wait until the police and ambulance arrived."

"You do get in some scrapes, don't you?"

"I just did what anyone else would do."

"Except they don't, do they?"

"I can't speak for them, whoever they are, but the copper asked my name and I said 'Charlie Watts,' he assumed that was Charlotte Watts, addressed me as Miss and took a note of my name.

"A few weeks later, I was upstairs when the door was knocked and my mother answered it and moments later ran upstairs and told me to wear something girlish and come down in a few minutes. I couldn't believe my ears, so I pulled on the dungarees over a girly tee-shirt and went down. They were all drinking tea and the copper was the one from the day I found the old man. The person with him was the old man's son and he presented me with the book, I've had it ever since. I had to pose for a photo which went in the Echo."

"What here?"

"No this was up in Bristol."

"Oh, I didn't see that one."

"As you probably wouldn't have been born, it's not surprising."

She blushed and shrugged. "As you're a strikingly beautiful woman, you were probably a very feminine and pretty child."

"I didn't think of myself as pretty, I was inclined to be a bit feminine but a few beatings and I learned to disguise it because they thought I was gay, but I wasn't camp, I was..."

"A girl, I know, Mummy, it was only the Neanderthals who couldn't make the connection. I've seen one or two photos of you, remember, of the play and stuff and Mr Whitehead's journal. You were a very pretty girl."

"Anyway, that was the story, I have some work to do, so go and abuse my children or something useful."

She laughed and went off leaving her empty cup behind. You just can't get the staff. Just before the dinner gong went she came back with the story and the photo. "You were a girl, Mummy, there's no sign of a boy here at all," she handed me the sheet of paper, I looked at it and handed it back to her.

"My headmaster didn't think so, he called me in when we were back in school having seen the story and photo and our mutual dislike of each other began. He was a bully and a sadist and should never have been allowed anywhere near children or teens, let alone a school. He spent the rest of my time there trying to humiliate me or get me to leave. I spent my time winding him up or pissing him off. I was also winding up my father, with whom he occasionally colluded in what he thought was a way to make me drop the girly stuff. Neither of them seemed to be aware of gender dysphoria and how to deal with it which wasn't what they were doing. I should have been sent to see a psychologist or specialist in mental health and the fact that even as a sixth former, I was still smaller, with no facial hair, zits or deep voice, but they didn't."

"At Sussex, they didn't know what to make of me, was I boy pretending to be a girl or a girl pretending to be a boy. I wore drab clothes which were loose fitting mostly and usually women's. I wore a sports bra or elastic bandages to hide my bulging chest and loose trousers hid my widening hips. They weren't as developed as most women of my age but my bum was definitely larger than any boy I knew.

"In school, I had to wear girl's trousers because boys ones no longer fitted me, too loose at the waist and too tight over the bum. I bought my own in the end because the ones my mother got were useless. She'd buy them in M&S, I'd return them and use the money to buy two pairs in Matalan. In uni, I tended to wear women's cargo pants and had pens or pencils in the leg pockets. That I used a fountain pen used to amuse people no end. I had ball points but have never liked them as much as my fountain pens."

"You are so different, Mummy."

"Am I? Does that worry you - living with an eccentric?"

"No I love it. You do things because you choose to or because you value something not to be different, but you are. It isn't being affected, you are just different."

"If you start comparing me to Jacob Rees-Mogg, I shall personally shoot you."

"Is that the guy in double-breasted suits who acts like Lord Snooty?"

"The same, he pretends to be old fashioned, a throwback to the 1950s but he wasn't born until 1969, so it's all total nonsense."

"Whereas, you're being different is genuine."

"Yep, I'm an alien," I said dead pan. Then the gong sounded. "See, that's the mother ship calling me."

"What calling you to be a mother again?"

"Something like that," I replied as we both walked towards the kitchen and dinner.

"I'm so glad you let me stay here, I feel so much at home."

"If you start wearing double-breasted suits, you're out," I said and we bothbegan to laugh.

"I won't, Mummy, promise."

I put down the dirty mugs and asked David what we were having.

"Mushy pea fritters in a pesto and soy sauce. You told me to keep the costs down, so ..."

"We're not are we?" asked the brain, who despite her intelligence is often easier to con than her sisters.

"Don't be daft," said Livvie, "pesto is far too expensive."

"Is it?" asked Trish shrugging.

"It's not boiled beef and carrots, is it?" asked Livvie sniffing the aromas which filled the kitchen. Shades of Oliver the musical, I thought as I tried to interpret the smells. It was more salmon than beef. I was right, it was salmon with watercress sauce, a favourite of mine, with duchess potatoes and purple sprouting broccoli and with strawberry flan and ice cream for pudding. Oh boy, must try not to eat too much assuming the girls don't grab it all first.

"Save some for Simon, will you?" I asked David.

"His lordship called earlier and said he and Sammi were on their way, so I've put theirs in the cool oven of the Aga."

"Won't that melt the ice cream?" asked Trish, showing she was wide awake and salivating at the prospect of our feast.

Even our kitchen table is big, it sits us all plus room for David when he stays to eat which he did. He sat next to Danni and they chatted about football while Trish and Livvie were on about something for school and Sarah asked me more about my time in school in Bristol. We were soon the only conversation and I became self-conscious about it for the first time in ages.

"It's all so different to my experience in school. I went to a comprehensive and they didn't care if you worked or not, so loads of kids didn't. It was mixed, so we had girls and boys in the classes except for sport and PE. I was marked down as different so I tended to avoid the roughnecks as much as I could and made friends with a couple of girls and found to my delight that they allowed me into their group most of the time. Some of the roughnecks, the yobs and so on had first envied me being with the girls then realised I was more like the girls than they were, so they used to call me a poof or a nancy boy. Occasionally, they got me on my own and I got duffed, but mostly they left me alone," was Sarah's experience.

"It was the girls who gave me the trouble," said David. As he rarely said anything about his past, we all listened eagerly. "They thought I was a butch or a dyke, they hadn't heard of gender unconformity. Largely they left me alone because I fought like a boy, got into trouble once or twice for it but usually, they left me alone."

Just as we all agog to ask questions Simon and Sammi arrived and everything stopped to make a fuss of our latecomers. It was good to see Sammi, who was going to be here all weekend, an extended one for the bank holiday and I was going to enjoy it, I might even get a bike out if I can remember how to ride one.

"Missed you," said Simon hugging and kissing me.

"I missed you, too," I replied and kissed him back.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3337 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####
On the Sunday of the bank holiday, it rained - all day. We had everything we needed so apart from Simon taking the dog for a walk and getting the Observer, no one else ventured out. I was still sore from his enthusiasm to show me how much he loved me but at least I wasn't getting silly comments from Trish, for the moment at least.

David was doing a leg of lamb for dinner and I invited Julie and Phoebe to come over to help eat it if they were free. It seemed they were and Julie asked if we could do some sewing, she had mending to do for the salon. I also invited Stephanie and her little girl and Danielle asked if she could ask Cindy, especially if we were sewing.

So we had a real table full for dinner which we had at six o'clock. I mentioned to Stephanie that we doing a sewing bee and she nervously asked if she could bring something for me to look at for an opinion. That intrigued me because usually, it's her giving me opinions. I naturally told her to bring whatever it was but as I was no expert I didn't promise to do more than look at whatever it was she had. Besides she's not exactly poor, so she could consult a professional seamstress not an amateur like myself.

I was so glad my mother had shown me how to do a number of things in sewing that she must have known I would never use for boy's things. For instance, when do you see darts in a male garment, unless he walked in front of a darts match? She taught me how to do them, how to insert zips and make buttonholes, with a bit of cutting out and tacking together, there isn't that much more to do on a simple dress or skirt pattern.

I actually made a skirt while I was in my bedsit, in the days before Stella and I met at thirty miles an hour or whatever speed she was doing. It can't have been very fast because I survived it, much more speed and the energy of the collision would have been disastrous and I'd have been badly hurt or killed.

That made me think of Billie's accident and I felt sad for a while, I took myself to my study and managed to extricate the crossword from Simon's grasp but I couldn't concentrate until I almost felt Billie with me and imagined her saying not to be sad because she was okay and that I should worry about the living. I wanted to ask her who she meant, was she trying to warn me? I shook myself out of my lethargic sadness and set to with the crossie and finished it in forty minutes.

I took the section of the paper it was in back to Simon and he was disgusted that I'd got the crossword first. Tough, it's dog eat dog world out there and any unsuspecting crossword was likely to get its issues solved, sort of permanently. It sounded good to me but he rewarded my humour by looking rather blank before he picked up the financial section and ignored me.

Julie rang me back and said she'd come a bit early with her scissors in case anyone needed a trim. I knew I did, so appointed myself at the head of the queue. She'd be singing for her supper, but we'd have a good chat while she was here. She assumed we weren't using masks anymore, because she said they insisted on them while she was doing someone's hair, but I told her she'd only have to wear one while she was actually eating. It took her a moment to get the joke.

Everyone arrived at least an hour early, Cindy being the exception, she'd come after lunch and she and Danni were up in Danni's room playing music and probably messing about with makeup and clothes like teen girls do. A little while ago, I'd had a chat with Cindy who'd understood while I was being a bit of a prude before although she assured me she hadn't had any sort of sensation down below except when she wanted to wee and that she saw Daniele as another girl and she wasn't into girls, despite her having been accused of being a lesbian at the convent, she insisted she wasn't. She said she didn't think she was anything because although she sometimes half fancied boys, she was too scared to do anything. I didn't offer her advice as my own experience was so limited but I did tell her things can change as we get older and as I had found, quite unexpectedly and suddenly.

Julie started cutting my hair and the queue started to form, with Danni next, Cindy got included as nearly family, then Trish, Livvie, Hannah, Meems and the little ones, Cate and Lizzie. Stella did Pudding's and Desi's but she came for a chat with Phoebe and Julie and, Phoebe had a little cuddle with Lizzie, her niece.

The salon was doing really well and they offered Cindy a Saturday job if she wanted it, she jumped at the chance to earn £20 for the day, cash in hand. Phoebe then went off to talk with Sammi. She was having a bit of trouble with her laptop and had asked Sammi to take a look. We didn't see either until dinner was served, and then I had to call them twice.

Stephanie arrived with a large carrier, in which, I presumed, was the mystery item requiring my opinion. Emily went off with Meems and Lizzie and I took Stephanie into my study. "So, what's in the bag?" I asked after we both sat down with cups of tea, dinner was still an hour away.

"It's like this, I bought a dress to go out on a date a couple of months ago and at the time I thought it looked okay and fitted me. Since then I've been running most mornings for half an hour and I appear to have lost some weight and the dress no longer fits. Can you do anything? I've seen some of the stuff you've done and you did help me that time before."

We'd finished our teas so I told her to put it on while I disposed of the dirty cups. When I came back she was struggling with the zip. I helped zip it up and assessed the fit. It was a cotton material and thankfully there was no lycra or other stretchy material involved, if there had been she might have got away with it as it was. It needed to lose about an inch on each side from the underarm down the seams. I thought if I could just do a tuck, if she gained weight again, we could let it out and it would fit once more.

She didn't share my view of frugality and teased me, "Cathy, you're married to one of the richest men in England, why worry about saving money? I'm not, the dress was only about ninety or a hundred quid, so don't worry, cut the bits off if you want."

"If I cut the material off it will alter more than the fit and I'd possibly have to over-sew the edges to stop them fraying making it a much bigger job which may not work and the dress could be ruined."

"I don't care, look do what you can, I won't hold you responsible if it doesn't work, I was going to give it to a charity shop if you couldn't do anything,"

"Why didn't you try an alteration tailor's?"

" I phoned one up and they weren't interested."

I shook my head and shrugged. I asked her to take off the dress and she sat in her lingerie wrapped in a spare robe of mine which I had brought back with me from the laundry room.

I measured and pinned it, and then as we still had about half an hour before dinner, I quickly tacked it for her. It meant the seam was obviously thicker but it didn't seem to show and when she tried it on she was surprised.

"How come you can do that and I can't? I'm the one who went to a girls' school."

"You didn't have my mother who felt any of her offspring should have some sewing skills."

"What like sewing on a button?"

"It started like that but it soon expanded to shortening trousers - I did a pair for my dad, with his full knowledge on the understanding, that if Mum was ill or absent, I could look after my dad, so I was taught to cook, clean, launder and iron clothes, do minor alterations and so on. It was all girly stuff, or I took it that way and after feigning reluctance, which she called me out on, I did all she asked and more."

"She taught you to be a housewife for your dad in her absence? How weird is that given his history of homophobic and transphobic abuse?"

"Ah, but he had a vested interest, he liked to appear smart and well turned out for his work, which I agreed gave him a more professional air and he couldn't do much more than make a cup of tea or coffee. He couldn't cook much at all, except something on toast and I don't know if he knew where the on switch was for the washing machine, and certainly not which programme he'd need for certain clothing."

"So as long as he was getting something from it, it was okay?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

"That is so double standards, he'd let you act like his housekeeper but wouldn't let you dress the part?"

I shrugged. "It's all water under the bridge now, Steph and I like to think we came to a compromise before he died."

"This feels okay, she said looking at her dress in the wall mirror in my study. What d'you think?"

"It needs a bit more than just tacking to hold it together and you'll have to be careful ironing it, make sure it all lies flat, but it looks okay. I'll sew it on the machine after dinner."

"Thank you so much," she said taking the dress off and redressing in her jeans and top.

"Given the generosity you've shown us over the years with the girls, I see it as a totally inadequate payback."

"I've probably eaten my own weight in dinners here, both David and you are better cooks than me and if I didn't have Em, I'd probably buy ready meals, buy-in or eat out."

"Goodness, that is so expensive and you can never be sure what you're getting once it's cooked."

"You and your penny pinching, Mrs married to a bank."

"Until my dad got his qualifications at night school, we were relatively poor. I was only a baby then but I know my mum got into the habit of saving money when she could and I suppose when I was doing my master's and living in the bedsit, I lived on about a fiver a week."

"How could you do that, I spend that much on milk?"

"I made lots of stews with cheap cuts of meat or ate beans or other legumes or eggs. I certainly lost some weight with that and the hormones."

The dinner gong sounded, we all went to the dining room for dinner, to which David stayed and he and Julie teased each other mercilessly, at times worrying me but it all seemed to end amicably. When we finished, he told her he'd missed their banter, she promised to come and tease him more often.

After dinner, when all I really wanted to do was snooze in the chair, we went back to my study and did our sewing. I had to help Cindy once or twice and Danni got stuck on a hem she was doing for a skirt she'd made for school. She hadn't pinned it correctly so I let it all down and showed her how to do it and the second time she did it properly. I'd finished Stephanie's dress in about twenty minutes and she simply sat chatting with all of us astonished at our skills.

"It's all Auntie Cathy, she's taught us better 'an the teachers at the convent," was Cindy's opinion. It seemed they didn't make much progress on her conversational English either. But that aside, she was developing into a really nice kid and a good friend to Danni. It sometimes worried me that because we have such a large family, there's little pressure to make friends outside and of course the complication of secrets of some of our life histories.

Sarah, who'd been doing some study after dinner came along for the last hour of my sewing class and sewed a button back on her cardi. Stephanie had a quick word with her on the QT, and they both came back in smiling, so it seemed everything was well.

Monday, everything was still wet from the rain before and we had the odd shower as well, so we did things in the house accompanied with grumbles about the weather and being unable to go out. I told them to wear waterproofs but they didn't want to solve things, simply to whinge about them. That was my bank holiday and Tuesday I had to go back to work for the morning for meetings. I hate meetings.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3338 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####
It was a weird half-term holiday, the girls were off for about eight days with the weekend in the middle, so they'd be back in school tomorrow, but I'd given Sarah some money to take them out to the beach or something if they behaved. I also told them to make sure any homework was done. Danni suddenly remembered she may have some.

"Good weekend?" asked Diane.

"Okay, I suppose, the next bank holiday is that weird one, isn't it?"

"Yeah, the Thursday Friday for the Queen's jubilee."

"If it's fine, the whole south coast will seize up."

"I know, we can't go anywhere really because the roads are clogged with tourists, Bournemouth will probably double its population."

"The beach there is nice if no one sets fire to the cliffs again, or the vegetation on them. It's been so dry, Daddy's been watering the garden."

"Hosepipe?" Diane asked plonking a mug of tea in front of me. The mug was one I got from a dormouse conference a few years ago that Nikki hadn't dropped.

"We've got a series of tanks which collects virtually all the rainwater from the house and the outbuildings. Holds quite a lot of water and he runs a hose from that before we use any mains water. When's the first meeting, oh keeper of the diary?"

"Ten minutes, heads of departments, papers are on the table," she was referring to the large table I have in the office which I kept here for the purpose of meetings, it saves having to organise a room and people can make teas or coffees as they wish, as it's pretty well all in the same room.

"You doing the minutes?" I asked her knowing how much she enjoyed doing them, joke.

"Yes, my tyrannical boss insists upon it."

"Is the boiler thing filled?"

"You have to ask?" she shot back at me.

"Well, yes, otherwise I have to go and check it and that takes extra energy and I need all I have to try and stay awake - I hate meetings."

"Why does there always have to be meetings?" she muttered as I refused to recognise it was her Indiana Jones impression and it should be snakes.

The others started to arrive and we transferred to the table and as they helped themselves to tea or coffee, small talk was engaged in until everyone was here. I asked if there were any apologies, meaning for absence and some wag answered that Gordon Wills was down with Covid and it had used up all his weekend trying to catch it.

The meeting used up the whole morning and when Daddy came by as we were clearing up, I jumped at the chance to get out of the office for an hour, he invited Diane as well, so she grasped at the same straw that I had.

"Guid, twa lovely ladies tae escort me tae lunch." I felt that I should pay as he always dose but he won't hear of it, 'His pleasure,' he always says. I noticed he could use some new underpants, so I'd get him some the next time I went to town or, I could even order them on line, Marks and Spencer deliver or will send them for a consideration unless you spend more than fifty pounds. I might just do that, I'm sure some of the others need things as well. I'll do that this evening when I get home.

At lunch we chatted about all sorts of nothing, Tom referring to how nice it had been to have Phoebe and Julie over for lunch. I commented that it had been like the feeding of the five thousand and Diane asked me to explain, so I did telling her that Stephanie had come so had Cindy and we'd had a sewing bee afterwards when I'd altered a dress for Steph and Julie had used my machine to repair some of the overalls they use at the salon. I also told her that Cindy was delighted to be asked to do Saturdays on a regular basis as Danielle was often playing football she thought it was wonderful.

"How much does she get for that?" asked Diane.

"Twenty quid in the hand."

"That's hard work for twenty," was her response which I suppose it was.

"Times are hard, and the salon finances tend to be a bit up and down."

"I'll gi' her ten more," said Tom which was very generous seeing as she was only a friend of the family, well of Danielle's really although all the girls attending St Claire's knew as well. If you recall, Trish rescued her from some bullies a year or two ago.

"What does Cindy want to do?" asked Diane continuing the conversation.

"I have no idea, her mother works in Tesco or Sainsbury's as a supervisor so there's no history of going to university there, but I expect the convent will have some advice to offer her when she needs to think of options. It's crazy that we expect sixteen or seventeen year olds to decide upon a career for the rest of their lives and then can't guarantee them a job at the end of school or further/higher education," was my take on things.

"At least with the Cameron millions, your lot won't be exactly destitute will they?" Diane threw back at me.

"I don't know, they won't be able to access their trust funds until twenty five, they could starve in that time."

Tom nearly choked on his Guinness, "They'll no sterve wi' Cathy as their mither."

"Or you as their grandfather," I shot back at him and he smiled. He loved that role, one which he'd almost given up on when he invited me to move into his house, so he told me and my fostering and then adopting all the children had, he reckoned enhanced his life and given him something to live for. I did seem to have an impact on the lives of others, intentional or otherwise and I was delighted to have enhanced his by simply being me and a sort of poor-man's good Samaritan, oh the expression is pound-shop not poor man's. I smirked and Diane picked up on it.

"What are you smirking at?" she asked.

"Oh nothing, just a silly notion that went through my head."

"Well, come on, spill," she instructed.

"Just the expression that we use to indicate what was once, 'poor man's' now it's pound shop, like Boris was described as a pound shop Trump." At this Daddy did choke on his Guinness and was red-eyed and blushing when he sorted himself.

I explained I had a short interview with every doctoral student we had and their supervisor this afternoon and Tom smiled in sympathy, he'd been there himself. For those who are pulling their weight it's a formality, for those who aren't, it's a wake-up call, though at that level they shouldn't need any incentives other than the entitlement to call themselves 'doctor' after they successfully complete the task, which is not an easy one.

We finished our lunch and I invited Tom for a cuppa when we returned to my office but he declined saying he would have a coffee and catch up on some paperwork. I was about finishing my own cuppa when the first of our pairs arrived. This was the one who was doing the freshwater invertebrate project and he was bemoaning the fact that the small amounts of rain we'd had for the past couple of months was affecting his streams and ponds. I suspect it would be affecting dormice too as it has an effect upon other plants and animals including the insects they eat at this time of the year, especially as spring was now about three weeks early these days.

After a tedious afternoon, but a necessary one, I drove home and found Trish and Sarah in deep debate about some scientific fact. My money, were I a betting woman, would have been on the younger one. She had a phenomenal memory as well as lightning quick brain and as she got older her thinking was much more organised. I was tempted to offer her a place at our university until she was old enough to go to Oxbridge or London. I'd talk to Daddy about that when we had five minutes.

Of course, I had to share some time with all of them, which I enjoy, but first I needed a cuppa and to change out of my work clothes. I was soon in jeans and top and sipping the live giving qualities of the drink of the gods when Sarah knocked and entered my study.

"Mummy," she said totally unaffected by the fact that I wasn't except in loco parentis "could you take a look at a couple of things I've encountered in my biology studies, they confuse me somewhat and even Trish couldn't quite understand them." What chance I would have was probably debatable if she couldn't understand it, but I am supposed to be a professor so I'd have to plug my brain back in.

Actually, it wasn't difficult just explaining one or two terms that neither of them had encountered before and explaining it to her. If she'd looked on the net, I'm sure she'd have found them, although she said she'd tried that as had Trish, or at least the definitions they'd found were contradictory - one of the major problems of the internet and even worse on social media, which she'd also tried.

Dinner was delicious and I felt quite sleepy afterwards. David had made a salmon and broccoli lattice of the most beautiful pastry and with new potatoes and watercress with tomatoes and other salad items, made me eat too much. I cleared up and with Sarah's help, we got the table cleaned and the dishes in the washer in ten or so minutes. She went back to her studies in her room and I knocked on Tom's study door.

"Daddy, I had a thought."

"Oh aye," he said ominously.

"I'm wondering if we should get Trish into the university and see how she does with older companions and how she copes with the stress of a higher level of learning. She already knows one or two of the physics and maths departments and if anything does go awry, you or I are there to rescue her."

"As she wuldnae be in yer department, it micht be a guid idea, even on a trial basis, are ye gang tae mak' her submit formally?"

"She has already got As in Physics and Maths and this year she's doing one in pure and applied maths, I can't see anyone turning her down unless they're frightened she'll be too clever for them."

"Aye, that's guid point, but Chris James, is pretty good himself."

"Yes, I'd heard that and he does know her a bit, he set her a couple of questions during lockdown which kept her busy for a couple of days. He was impressed with her answer when she emailed it back to him."

"Aye, so I ken. Why not, unless she does'nae want tae."

I thanked him and he smiled back before he settled down to finish his paperwork and eventually have a wee dram.

Ten minutes later I got Trish on her own, she was looking for some book in our library and I asked her. "Trish, what d'you think if instead of returning to the convent next year, you came to the university to study?"

"What Cambridge?" she beamed.

"Not yet, I thought Portsmouth, see how you get on and I'll be close enough at hand if you need me."

"What to help with maths?" she laughed.

"You know what I mean, you little madam." She giggled at that. "So what d'you think?"

"Yeah, okay except the school will lose me for the soccer team."

"I think that's a secondary consideration, don't you?"

"I s'pose. Yeah, what do we have to do?"

"I'll speak to Professor James and we'll sort it out."

"Will Daddy pay my fees?"

"One of us will, it won't be that much more than the school charges."

"Wow, didn't know it was that dear."

"You do now."

"Gosh, I'm not even at university yet and I'm learning new stuff all the time," she said and ambled out of the room. "Hey, Sarah, I'm gonna be at university with you."

"Wow, you doing biology, too?"

"No, I'm gonna do proper science - physics and stuff."

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3339 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
####

This episode is dedicated to my companion for nearly 17 years, Bonzi, my cat, who died yesterday.

~~~~~

I managed to get hold of Chris James, Professor of Physics at our university. "Could I have a word with you about a personal matter?" I said over the phone.

"Is that personal to you or me?" he asked back.

"Me, sorry if that sounded a little ambiguous."

"Could do about eleven this morning, if that's any good to you?"

"Hang on, I'll speak to the keeper of my diary," he chuckled down the phone at me. Diane showed me I was available so we arranged that he would come over to me which enabled me to get stuck into the correspondence that Diane had dumped on my desk.

It seemed no time later that Chris James appeared and Diane made us some tea and I opened the box of shop-made cakes and we each took one and went off to talk.

"Chris, I'm seriously thinking of asking you to offer my daughter Trish a place here to study physics."

"This is the one who I set that work for back in the summer?"

"Yes, she really enjoyed it, doing it, I mean."

"Her answers were pretty good seeing as she's what...?"

"Thirteen."

"Would she be able to cope with being the youngest by some years?"

"I think so. I think ultimately she'll probably end up at Cambridge but coming here would test her a bit and also help her decide if it's what she wants to do."

"She's pretty bright isn't she?"

"She got As at Physics and Math A-levels last year and she'd doing pure and applied this year. "

"Wow, five years early, well I feel as you work here any issues not related to her actual study could be dealt with, so I'm prepared to take a gamble and accept her."

"We'll go through the process and make an official application and as funding is no problem, can you believe it's only about a thousand above what we pay for her at the convent?"

"I know private schools are expensive, my granddaughter is being educated at one and my son is finding it quite a sacrifice, but she's quite bright and I'm sure she'll make it to university."

"What does your son do?" I asked never having spoken to Chris about his family before.

"He has his own computer firm, they do lots of retail-based work, internet purchasing that sort of thing. He's doing all right but he has a big mortgage as well as two girls at private school."

"Yes, I don't have a mortgage but I do have six girls at this convent."

"Wow, that must be nearly fifty thou a year?"

"It is plus another one who is a bit too young just yet."

"Did you plan on having six kids?"

"They're all adopted, I can't have my own babies."

"Oh," he blushed, "So why adopt a football team?"

"They needed a home and we had room."

"Goodness, you don't do things by halves do you?"

"All of them had problems with family or were in a home, Trish was originally in a home, one of my girls was dumped on me as a temporary arrangement so I thought but her mother pushed off to Africa I think and she and her husband were being pursued by half the governments in Africa or the Middle East for gun-running or something similar. We adopted her as she no longer wanted to be associated with her birth mother."

"Are all of them hard-luck stories?"

"No, but some were quite traumatic; one of my girls I found lying semiconscious on a rubbish pile, she'd been beaten up and just left."

"And you took her in?"

"Yes, she was sixteen at the time, she's now in her twenties and doing quite well running her own business with her sister who came to me after her mother died. She had stayed with us before and the two got on well together, so we took her in when she asked us to and to her credit, she fitted in and was soon acting as a sister to the others and calling me her mum and so it happened. They all have stories why they came to us, but they all seem to be happy there and no one is forcing them to stay.

"My eldest, is a whiz with computers, especially protecting them and she works with Simon at the bank's HQ, keeping out hackers and ne'er do wells, runs the computer security team and even helps GCHQ occasionally when they get stuck."

"Are all your kids special?"

"They are to me, but yes, as far as I can tell, they are all quite bright, perhaps not as clever as Trish or Sammi, the computer one, they are something else, but Livvie is pretty bright and will do well at whatever she wants to do, Danielle is an outstanding footballer and plays for Reading Ladies and has several England caps."

"Didn't she score that spectacular goal with an overhead bicycle kick for England against Germany?"

"That was her."

"Wow, so I'm the presence of something of a matriarch of gifted children, I bow to your achievement, madam." He stood up and bowed to me which caused me to get very hot and go bright red.

"I haven't done anything but give them an opportunity to develop themselves. Trish is also quite a good footballer but nothing like Danielle, who is something else. She's sixteen now and wants to do a degree of some sort and think she fancies biogeography at the moment, but it changes by the week."

"None of them want to study dormice?"

"I have one girl who wants to do biology, she isn't my daughter per se, but she sort of adopted me and I let her call me Mum because otherwise she'd be the odd one out and the others are quite amenable to her being one of the family, so they're all very generous in that way and I try to give them all as much equal time as I can. Simon's up in town most of the week, Stella his sister, who also lives with us and has two girls of her own, is a nurse specialist in genitourinary medicine, so Sarah, our latest member helps to look after them when I'm not there, she's doing a biology course as an entry to start here, and she's doing well at the moment."

"Don't you have any help, besides Sarah?" he asked.

"I have in the past but they don't seem to stay, I don't know why. The only one who has is David our cook, so that takes some pressure off me and means we all eat very well, he also does some supervision of the younger kids when necessary."

"Is he the only staff you have?"

"Really, yes. I make the children do some chores for their pocket money and they still squabble over who loads the bread maker."

"I feel in awe of you, Cathy, no wonder your kids are all special, they take after your example."

I blushed again. "Don't forget Tom, he's something special too as is my Simon."

"Simon?"

"My hubby, Simon Cameron."

"Of course, you're Lady Cameron in your alter ego, aren't you?"

"I operate here under my maiden name, professor or doctor is sufficient a title, wouldn't you agree?"

"I have to, it's as far as I shall get and that, when I look back, seems a long way from the backstreets of Southampton, which is where I started. I suppose you went to private school and so on?"

"Me? No, I went to grammar school, my dad was a quantity surveyor so we were okay but when I was small he was still struggling to get his qualifications, so I was the first one to actually get to university."

"Likewise, and now, even the family cat is expected to have a degree. I don't disagree with kids doing uni, but we need plumbers and electricians as much as we do doctors or teachers."

"I agree with you, but there's nothing to stop someone from training as a plumber after doing a degree, is there?"

"Yeah, except when they start to earn money, which is quite an important part of life, you may not agree there with the family owning a bank."

"I try not to let that influence too much of my thinking, I survived before I married into the Camerons and would beyond that. It does make things different, I'll grant you, but we try to instil some reality about money with all of them. They don't do without anything, but neither do they get spoilt and they know that I expect them to earn their livings when they're old enough."

"Good for you. I'd better get back to my department just to make sure there isn't a coup of some sort in my absence. I'll await Trish's application with some interest, we'll take her, I can guarantee that because I think she is special, and I'd like to think we helped prepare her to cope with Oxbridge."

"Thanks, Chris, that's really good of you."

"Not really, if she's as talented as I think, I'd be stupid not to take her even though she is bound to cause some of my staff problems."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, give her a year and she'll be teaching them stuff - but it will be good for one or two of them, as they need a bit of a challenge."

"I think I can pretty well be sure she'll do that all right."

He left chuckling to himself, all bar the paperwork, Trish has a university place lined up. I hope she's ready for it, she'll be the youngest student on campus, thankfully, she'll be on the same one as I am, so she does have a bolt-hole if she needs one, but I hope she'll fit in enough to cope with the social issues, because I know she'll do so with the academic element and she can get a lift to uni with me most days unless she goes with Sarah, assuming she's still with us.

Daddy appeared and invited me to lunch, he also invited Diane but she declined saying she had too much work to do. So just the two of us went, I was in the middle of my tuna salad when a familiar face hove into view. Sarah's uncle, Peter Dominic. What did he want?

"Sorry to interrupt your lunch, but I'd like to try and get us back to where we were before my sister tried to poison my mind against you?"

"I see, is this for the benefit of your job or for Sarah's sake?"

"I've met with Sarah every week since it happened. She says she forgives me for my stupidity and I'd like to do the same with you if you'd allow it?"

"Why should I?" I asked suddenly feeling my appetite disappear.

"Because I think it would make Sarah's life easier."

"So you can report back to your sister?"

"I haven't spoken to her since she came to see you, she was absolutely livid. I know that Sarah treats you like her mother and I know she could do a lot worse for someone to help her grow into womanhood."

"You weren't so complimentary when you tried to abduct her calling me anything but a woman." I felt angry as I relived the emotions of that evening.

"I was wrong, I was angry and I was trying to justify something that I wasn't at all sure about, but if you like, I was almost brainwashed into taking her back to her mother because she felt she was losing her and she also doesn't believe that anyone can change their gender. I don't agree with her and think you are an outstanding example of that."

"How do I know if I can believe you?"

"I'm still the person who believed in you at school, it was obvious when you did Macbeth that you were really a girl but that idiot Murray, couldn't see as far as the end of his nose and he was so full of homophobic prejudice, it blinded him to other possibilities."

"It certainly did that, but he also saw me breastfeeding and nearly had a stroke."

"Couldn't have happened to a nicer person."

"You know Mr Whitehead tried to keep an eye on me."

"No, he didn't did he?"

"He followed me down here when his wife died and kept a watching brief for years, he even kept a journal of it."

"Isn't that a bit creepy - like stalking?"

"It could have been had I known anything about it. He died trying to save me from an attack by an enraged parent who pulled a knife on us because his thug of a son was excluded or suspended, can't remember which. "

"Goodness, I didn't know any of that, I read about a teacher being stabbed in the school playground by a stupid parent, he was convicted of murder, wasn't he?"

"He pleaded guilty once the court refused to accept one of diminished responsibility, so we didn't have to give evidence, although I believe the police used my statement as part of their case."

"Didn't someone try to run him over?"

"Danni did, she was sitting in the car waiting for me and saw him with the knife and Mr Whitehead get stabbed, so she managed to start the car and ran it into him. She wasn't going very fast, but she saved my life, I reckon, or I'd have been on the next slab to Mr Whitehead."

"Bloody hell, Cathy, you do live dangerously, don't you?"

"I don't start it, I didn't with you, I just opened Sarah's eyes to wider possibilities than she had seen before."

"I see that now, she's going to study with you, isn't she?"

"She's going to attend my department if she passes the exam, but I won't actually be teaching her. It would be unethical, but she'll be well looked after, we try to support our students these days, they're our cash crop, so to speak."

"So can we start afresh?" he asked imploringly.

"For Sarah's sake, all right, but a hint of any of that prejudice from her mother, and I'll run you out of town if not the UK, and believe me I could."

"I don't disbelieve you, Lady Cameron, but I assure you it won't be necessary."

"I have your word on that?"

He offered me his hand. "I may not have quite the same reputation as your good self, but I like to think that if I give my word, I will honour it." I shook his hand and he thanked me and left.

Tom was silent the whole time. "Dae ye believe him?"

"I have to try to for Sarah's sake."

"Weel, I'll back ye up if he reneges on it."

"Thank you, Daddy." He placed his hand over mine and gave the gentlest of squeezes. I loved this old man I was privileged to call my father.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3340 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply
####

I took both of us back to the university and Daddy went back to his office, "You'll never guess who I just met?"

"Peter Dominic?"

I nearly fell over. "You told him where to find me?"

"It's hardly a secret, is it?"

"Judas." I hissed at her.

"Come off it, Cathy, everyone knew where you were."

"Well, one of them did, but then you knew that."

"I refuse to play this game, do you want tea, or not?"

I disappeared into my office and pretended I didn't hear her. "Here." She slammed the mug on the desk.

I looked up and pretended to be surprised, "Thank you, is it that time already?"She went muttering to herself.

I stared at the mug and burst out laughing and she returned, "What's so funny?"

"You are."

"I see, perhaps you would be good enough to enlighten me?"

"You take me too seriously."

"I do?"

"Yes, I was just winding you up."

"Now hang on, a moment ago you were accusing me of betraying you."

"You did but because it worked out, I forgive you."

"I don't give tinker's if you do or not. Peter needed to see you and say his piece and you as good as told him he couldn't do it here, so I told him where you were likely to be."

"I see."

"What if he had said something different?"

"He didn't, did he?"

"No, he didn't."

"You didn't know that."

"I did, I worked with him at Bristol for umpteen years."

"You told me this before."

"At least I'm sticking to my story."

"You are indeed, but I'd be grateful if you'd not tell anyone else where dine."

"Do you want me to resign?"

"No, I want you to finish your typing."

"I see, you don't, it could have been anyone, even someone bearing me malice. I have been attacked, nearly murdered by people I didn't even know were after me and when someone dies trying to protect you - it hurts."

"I'm sorry, I thought that part of your life was over?"

"I'm never sure it is. They say it is but neither our little Russian friend, assuming he has any friends, is not renown for keeping his word."

"What do want me to do?"

"I'm sure it will never happen again, so I'd like you to return to your desk and finish the typing."

"Tea?" she asked on leaving.

"Now you're talking," I said holding out my dormouse mug.

About two hours later and surrounded by St Claire's finest I mentioned that I had seen Peter, "Did you punch his lights out?" asked Trish.

"No, I didn't, he came in peace," I declared.

"When has that stopped you?" continued Trish.

"I am not aggressive," I said and then decided to turn it into a joke, "So watch it or I'll bash you," I said to Trish who ran off screaming that I was going to hit her.

When I caught up with her she in her bedroom laughing, suddenly she threw herself on the bed her arms over her face calling out,

"Don't hit me, Mummy, I'll be a good girl."

"What are you doing, I don't think I've ever hit you?" I said to the teenager on the bed.

"Just carrying on the joke, Mummy."

"What? You'll have everyone thinking I hit you."

"Only if they're stupid, my acting isn't that good."

"Well, it fooled me," I said.

"That's not difficult," replied the superior teenage being on the bed.

"You brat." I called her.

"I've been called worse," she shrugged, mainly in school.

"Who has called you worse?" I asked her wondering if we had a problem.

"Girls in school sometimes call me names because I'm cleverer than them, most have no idea about a decent one-liner so my replies are killers and tend to end the discourse."

"What do you mean?"

"Like they call me the brain, so I call them a precursor to the Neanderthals or a dish of fried beetle pee if they get down and dirty, sometimes it gets more personal and they tell me I'm menstruating monster and I tend to reply with something like, you're like a bundle of dinosaur faeces - a pile of poo turned to stone and just as useful."

"Does it happen often?"

"Most days, but I'm used to it, Livvie gets it too and she is even better at shooting them down."

"That wouldn't surprise me, Livvie always could stand her ground in a slanging match, is that why you want to go to university?"

"No. although I should get a better class of insult there."

"I wouldn't count on it, the first years are often like high school students until they realise they aren't in school any longer and have to act like adults."

"Oh, I thought they would be like young adults."

"Very often that doesn't happen until they had one kick-up the arse to remind them they are here to study, somehow I don't think that will be problem with you because you're too young to become involved, which may be an advantage we'll have to see.

"Do, they really mess around instead of working?"

"Alas, many of them do, especially those who aren't properly mature. Some of them grow up quite a bit during their courses. We want them to have fun but the main reason they are there is to learn."

"I shall learn, Mummy, that's why I want to go."

"I know that sweetheart, that's why I want you to go. You're beyond what you can learn in school and before you go off the track, I want you to develop that mind of yours. "

]"I won't disappoint you, Mummy."

"I'll make sure you don't." I looked her in the eye and I think she meant it. I hope for both our sakes she meant it.

"Did you have problems at university?"

I reflected on my time at Sussex. "Not really, I didn't make loads of friends because of my gender problems, half of them didn't know if I was grungy girl or a strange boy."

"But you were a girl, weren't you."

I looked wistfully into the distance, "I don't know, Trish. My prof knew that I was probably trans and as good as sent me here I'd got a good degree and needed to sort myself out, and Gramps already had experience of a trans person in his daughter twenty years before, so if anyone could cope, he could.

"Then Auntie Stella hit you off the bike and you fell for Daddy. I'm glad you did."

I got a warm feeling as I said, "So do I dear, so do I."

"You're the best Mummy in the world."

"I doubt it and by a long shot."

"I don't care, you're the best and so is Daddy the best."

He's never here, I thought to myself before answering, "I expect you're right, dear, I expect you're right."

With that we returned downstairs before the rest missed us.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3341 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.

####
Sometimes being with Trish that I am with a superior being and other times it's like she is a teenager with all the faults inherent that go with it. I reflected upon my own teen years and I suppose I was lucky to stay sane, the pressures to conform were enormous and enforced by a father who knew no better and who seemed to be blinded by his faith, as was my mother.

How anyone can believe in this day and age baffles me but then most people are a bit dumb and seem to need a mental crutch to carry them through, if they only knew that if it gets tough no-one is coming to help them, least of all some omnipotent sky- fairy, and they have the resources they need if they only believe in themselves. We are all more capable than we think and friends and family will normally help.

Are gender-confused people extra strong? I don't know but I suspect not, we are just good actors and good at hiding things, sometimes for many years, like how we feel and what we feel. I know I hid it from my peers in university, but not as well as I thought and some guessed the right answer and some were way off beam. Murray should have referred me to the educational psychology service but didn't because he was convinced I was poof, because in his small world there were only two types of individual; straight and queers. He was very wrong as we now know, there are many types and that refers to sexual orientation and snowballs when you add gender identity to the equation. Even today we have trouble which is ridiculous. In America, it seems half the country wants to kill the other half and because we are so visible, we are an easy target for Republicans, many of whom seem to be Trump clones, and not only talk through their arse, they also think with it or seem to. Why are trans kids such an easy target - because they can't fight back, that's why. Why do generally sane people have a need to carry guns -you tell me, but I shall dismiss you answer because no ordinary person needs one most of the time, if ever. They still have a wild west mentality and may become civilised one day, but I'm not holding my breath.

We are not much better, only it applies to knives, and it seems people stab each other and ask questions later. It's stupid, but so are most young men, and with a knife, they feel safe. They are not, in fact, they are more likely to be stabbed than those of us without a weapon, the same probably applies to guns for a similar reason.

The only times I carry a knife is either when I am going to eat or my good ol' Swiss army knife. I always thought that they were only dangerous to the user, folding on them etc. but is appears you can stab someone with one and suddenly, my penknife becomes an offensive weapon. The rest of us have to suffer because one idiot used one to kill someone. I believe the story was the youth was slashing a man's tyres. He got a bit angry and rushed out with a hammer and the youth stabbed him with a SAK and the man died. Why he was slashing the tyres, I don't know, probably he didn't know, as I believe he was high on drugs or booze, which I keep away from. So, although I am not superior I am less stupid as drug use eventually will lead to one's downfall. Perhaps I should have been a preacher as I do so as seemingly default mode.

Perhaps I am just a parent who wants their children to mature without substances or weapons. I once saw the blood from a stabbing, it was awful, like a bucket of it had been spilt in the street. I later learned some young bloke had killed another who he thought was laughing at him. He wasn't, but the one who did the killing was convinced he was and did for him, the wits and inhibitions lost to booze. Again should we stop selling booze, I doubt it, because large numbers of people seem to need it to function, it's nonsense, as they can do without it, but prefer not to, demonstrating their stupidity, as it gets harder to stop as they progress down the slippery slope to dependency.

Simon still drinks too much and every so often it worries me. Do I have right to stop him? No, I don't but I do have one to say it makes me uncomfortable because it does. I don't drink much and could stop easily, others can't or don't see why they can't have a tipple, a while ago they used to get drunk as a skunk and drive home without seeing they were being stupid, now they wouldn't think of drinking and driving. One day they'll see the light and life will be more boring but safer.

George Monbiot is trying to improve the river Wye, which used to be a major salmon river, but because of the run-off from poultry farms is now eutrophic with phosphate poisoning everything and the lush vegetation is just a bit of algae and viruses, nothing else grows there. Obviously, the answer is to stop more poultry farms, so what do they do bit give permission in Powys for a big processing unit for poultry which will bring extra poultry farms to feed it. The reason being that jobs are worth it. I have news for them we have more vacancies than jobless so they won't be able to fill them, and the poisoning of the rivers is just the start of the poisoning of the system - they'll discover it when there are no more wild salmon, bloody Tories, they'd sell their granny.

The environmental lobby doesn't have the pull of money and never will so until they notice that there is no more wildlife, the people won't act. It's like people complain about air pollution until you tell them to travel by bus, they shut up then, bloody hypocrites. When it comes to doing something themselves only the young seem interested, vested interests will kill off the rest.

I took my misery into the kitchen where David was preparing salmon for the evening meal, I couldn't face him so pretended I had something to do, so I greeted him and disappeared. Farmed salmon causes all sorts of problems in the sea with pollution and pests just some of them, but we have to eat something. It would be better if we got used to main meals of pasta and legumes as they use less land but I don't think they would tolerate it for too long, they like their meat and fish too much. I must speak with David and see what we can do as we have the occasional meat-free day, we'll have to extend that to two or three days a week and meat substitutes are getting better all the time so it is a real prospect for the future and David is so good at making tasty meals, I'm sure he'll relish the challenge he usually does.

I went to my study and shut the door, now I have to work out how to get the rest of the family onboard, do I ask for their cooperation or do I work with David on the quiet? Then there's Tom, can we win him over with vegetable curries, I doubt it and I suppose he will have a point and it will be all that he's tae auld tae change. I may have to prove he isn't and perhaps involve the children in doing so. It's like mounting a campaign only harder.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3342 by Angharad Copyright© 2021 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.

####
I managed to speak to David and he agreed that we could do meat-free days and even try one or two meat substitutes but he was aware we would have to proceed with care or one of the kids will object and they will probably all do so.

I know Trish has expressed an opinion that we should try not to eat meat every day but saying and doing it are two different things, In all honesty, she is probably the most committed to going vegetarian but she can get her knickers in a twist very easily so I have to handle her with kid gloves, I wonder if other Mums have this problem?

At the evening meal she, Trish, that is, about eating dead animals - they'd had some debate about it in class. Livvie was of the opinion that we'd be neck-deep in them if we didn't eat them, I thought it would only be knee-deep and we wouldn't breed so many if we didn't eat them, so that would eventually sort it out, at least I hoped it would. In all probability we'd screw it up, we always do. Or am I becoming cynical?
The tea time debate roamed about a little encountering feminism as well as dietary needs, football - how did that get there? Oh yes, Danni had some comments about her football club, I forget what it was now. Am I going senile or have I gone there, because sometimes I think I'm on the way, I'm so crazy I've become sane again. Anyway, we broached the subject and there was no argument, nor did anybody die, so that must be good. I went to be alone that wasn't so good in all the time I've been married I spent more nights alone than I have with. I had nothing to do one night, and I couldn't sleep so I made a calculation of the two. I have spent more nights alone.

The next day I was met by Diane with a face like thunder. "What happened to you, lose a pound and find a bawbee."

"Why don't you ask me the same in English?" was her response.

"You know what I mean, just give me the bad news."

"Dr Rice has phoned in sick, he thinks he has Covid."

"Oh, poor chap I hope gets over it quickly."

"Sod, that who's going to do his lecture for him?"

"Who've we got?"

"We have just one person free."

"Fine, just ask them to do it." We'd had a problem before with the first year complaining of lack of tuition time, actual face-to-face stuff."

"They won't like it."

"So what, we pay people to do things not sit on their fat arses like you do."

"You ever tried typing while standing up?"

"Can't be that hard."

"Can't it, you try it boss lady."

"You're going to tell me you have aren't you? Well don't bother, just get someone to cover his lecture, ask them nicely but forcefully, like you do when you want me to do something."

"Will you cover Dr Rice's lecture?"

"You could be more forceful than that."

She smiled, "My idiot boss wants you to cover Dr Rice's lecture, will you?"

"Hey, I'm not an idiot just a bit soft to allow you to get away with a statement like that."

"Okay, how about my soft-hearted but idiot boss wants you to cover Dr Rice's lecture?"

"You still have too much levity in it."

"My overbearing but soft-hearted boss wants you to cover Dr Rice's lecture."

"Better, look we're going to be here all day at this rate, just tell them, okay?"

"Okay," she responded as I walked into my office and approached the mound of paperwork that was sitting there. I think I saw it smiling at me at one point. Perhaps I'm crazier than I thought, nah, mad people never think they are, so as long as I keep thinking it, I'm mad, I shall be all right. I had barely had time to put my bag down when my phone rang. Dumping down quickly I picked up the handset.

"Hello, Professor Watts," I squawked down the phone.

"My overbearing but soft-hearted boss told me to phone you to cover for Dr Rice, he has Covid and he should be lecturing in half an hour."

"You idiot, call the member of staff you want to do it."

"I did."

"No you didn't, you rang me."

"Exactly."

"What?"

"You're the only one available. Twenty-five minutes before you start, it's freshwater habitats, only two hours."

"Oh, shit, you're joking?"

"No, overbearing but soft-hearted, idiot boss."

"I'm going to strangle you one day."

"Best wait until I finished your typing then, though standing up I can only manage two letters an hour."

"Why are you standing up?"

"Because my idiot boss told me to."

"The same one you tricked into covering a lecture?"

"Yeah, but it's no trick. you are the only one available."

"Okay, do we have his notes?"

"No, but it's called, Freshwater Habitats."

"Okay, make me a cup of tea while I see what textbooks I have on it."

I found two or three and looked through them. I could manage to keep them busy for an hour or so, if we finish early so be it, just make them be grateful for small mercies.

By the time I'd drunk my tea I had a decent idea of what I needed to do and had written a quick list of habitat types. I'd make them work while we did it, should be challenging but not insurmountable and I have done work on habitats before as it happens to be one of the foundations of modern ecology.

I wandered down to lecture theatre one and spoke to the technician there, he had a list of slides that Dr Rice had requested, mainly pictures of different habitats but all freshwater ones, streams, rivers, ponds, marshes and so on. He ran me off a list and with that, my own list and my textbooks I blundered my way through it and had a stimulating time, talk about ad hoc, this was that with bells on. I extemporised and fed off the info I extracted for them, at one point I even asked them why habitats were important or were they? Thankfully I got back the answer I wanted and it went on like that,

I had apologised when I began that it was a scratch lecture because Dr Rice had rung in sick that day at the end a couple of students approached me to tell me it was good and they didn't believe it was a scratch lecture. I shrugged and told them I'm an ecologist and such things are the basis of understanding ecology, reminding them that the basis is the relationship between the organism and its environment including other organisms, then we incorporate ecosystems and then we follow the energy through the system, which involves solar energy and foodwebs going from simple autotrophs to level five predators, the superpredator like sharks and lions or man.

They asked me if was doing the terrestrial habitats and ecosystems the next day and it looked very much as if I would be. Back at my office still buzzing from my performance I was happy to be invited to lunch by Tom who wouldn't take no for an answer, not that I was going say it, so Diane and I accompanied Daddy to the restaurant to listen to his moans of despair about today's youngsters. I did try to point out it was ever thus but it was wasted on him, tomorrow would be different but today he had a moan and we listened.A

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3343 by Angharad Copyright© 2022 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.

I spent some of my evening, apart from getting fat after David's wonderful cooking, reading up on freshwater habitats, it was quite interesting and I learned about several different types and variation on the same types, although I suppose if they were a variation, they wouldn't be the same. I also learned several new words about different elements of aquatic life, like cannibalism as a means of avoiding competition when the going gets tough as in overcrowding, or things develop quicker and eat the slower ones, if humans did it, it would sort out food shortages and overpopulation in one fell swoop, not that I am advocating it as an answer as we'd probably have an increase in variant Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease (vCJD). A horrible disease found amongst cannibal societies which is caused by a prion and ends up with the victim having large holes in their brains which ultimately kills them. Mad cow disease, which poisoned the name of English beef for a while, does the same to cows. It was caused by humans trying to save money or make profits by feeding ground-up sheep bones to cattle as a food additive, some of the sheep were carrying scrapie, a disease specific to sheep which crossed the species barrier and the prion attacked the neural system of the cows. It's what happens when we mess with natural systems without understanding the consequences, cane toads come to mind as a vivid illustration.
Gosh, how the human mind jumps from one subject to another, or mine does, there I was reading about different types of substrate and flow rates, with light and temperature and suddenly I'm thinking of cannibalism and a new variant Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease.

I went back to my books and concentrated on the topics for tomorrow, I had done quite well and would link the subject to terrestrial habitats, about which I am more familiar, but I enjoyed my foray into things aquatic and decided I would continue my reading when time permitted. I was also rereading some of Elly Griffiths' stories, I like a bone specialist who knows less anatomy than I do as a heroine, it gives her a flawed element which appeals even though it isn't supposed to have happened and is an author mistake which I expect has been corrected in later versions, my own copy came from a charity shop and was probably a first edition of the paperback. Still I've made plenty of similar mistakes but no one pays for my stuff except students and these days I check my stuff for such mistakes.

Oh well bedtime for the offspring who aren't, if you see my point, but they are my children in everything except actual bloodline, which is a pity but we live with it and part of me is proud of what we have done, they needed a home and I had one with space to take them and perhaps as much need to foster them as they did to be fostered a sort of mutualism in a biological sense, one I understand and so does Tom, who also benefits from it as a granddad he wouldn't otherwise be.

The next day I did the lecture on terrestrial habitats and added some bit about freshwater ones that I learned since I spoke with them before and everyone seemed happy, one of the students who'd spoken me the day before gave me broad smile and thumbs-up afterwards so she seemed to get something out of it and so did I knowing that at least one of them did.

It was when I got back to the office that my sense of fulfilment was shaken. "We have a situation," was Diane's way of telling me.

"What sort of situation?" I replied awaiting the facts.

"We think there has been a break-in in lab 2, you know the one with all the info for our ministry stuff."

"Who discovered it and when?"

"Brian Smith, about half an hour ago."

"Why so late?"

"He was working till late last night, you said if he did he could take some time back."

"Have the police been called?"

"They got here a few minutes ago. I sent them over to the lab."

"Looks like I'd better go and see things for myself, who is in charge?"

"Inspector Old, he said he knew you."

"He does." I left my office thinking how I had last met Toby Old, I'd saved his life and only just escaped a manslaughter charge if no murder, because someone died, the fact that they had come to kill Toby and possibly us as well, that is, Simon and me, is probably what saved me because I certainly had acted to neutralise a threat, as I saw it, and that meant hurting or killing the murderous pair who'd come to visit with malice aforethought in their hearts.

Mine of course is filled with love and pureness of spirit unless someone causes it to be otherwise and a couple of malcontents caused it to react spontaneously. I mentioned about a short course I did in Bristol many years ago about total fighting, where everything becomes a weapon, well it was one of those occasions and to me the end justified the means, kill or be killed and not waiting to chat about it first like civilised folk. I acted without thinking except to stop the threat, and people who come armed with a sawn-off shotgun are not coming for afternoon tea and to discuss the ladies fashions at Ascot.

I found Toby waiting for SOCO, that is, Scene Of Crime Officer, who look for evidence of the crime and collect things like fingerprints if the perps were stupid enough to leave any. "Hello, nice to see you again," I offered to our favourite policeman.

"Cathy, I wondered when you'd show up, your secretary said you were actually working today."

"My ex-secretary, you mean?"

He laughed, "You're worse than the bad guys," he suggested.

"Only when provoked, remember you'd be the wearer of shroud now if I hadn't."

"I remember all right, now what's this about top-secret stuff having been half-inched?"

"As I've only just learned of it I don't exactly know what is missing, but I understand it was a contract we have with the ministry."

"Which one?"

"Defence," I admitted.

"Oh, depending on what it was about could mean we have to send for MI5 or Special Branch."

"I'm sure Hampshire Constabulary's finest will be enough to catch the villains, assuming there was more than one."

"Is there somewhere we can talk?" he responded.

"My office and the coffee is reasonable."

"Sold," he said and after leaving instructions For SOCO, we departed the scene which certainly looked as if it had been broken into. The university security would be getting a rocket from me later.

Over coffee, I was able to tell him about the contract with the MOD and what we were doing. He made notes and rang his superiors to ask for advice, I hadn't had a chance to do that although I knew that Diane would have informed Daddy, who would have then contacted someone in the ministry.

The men in suits arrived as Toby was on the phone. "We'll need an office,love and loads of coffee, this'll do," he said looking around.

"This my office," I said possessively.

"Who are you then?"

"Professor Cathy Watts."

"Yeah, professor of what?"

"Look you moron, this is all my department, I am effectively the dean of the faculty of science."

"I hear you've got some aristo here, they warned me she can be trouble, where is she at the moment?"

Diane having heard enough of our conversation to act addressed me, "Would you like me to arrange an office for this man, your ladyship?" He looked at her and blushed, knowing that I needn't answer it now."

"If you could, Diane, I'm sure we have some animal cages we can loan them if necessary." Toby came back as we were completing the introductions.

He took the MI5 officer to the lab and came back to me, "How about I buy you lunch?"

"It'll have to be in the refectory then, I want to keep an eye on James Bond."

He laughed, " Wrong MI department, he's MI6, which is external stuff, this is MI5 or internal stuff."

"Of course, but if it's internal I want my doctor involved."

"Very funny, you knew what I meant," he said to me.

"Why can't you deal with it? You probably have more brain cells than Mr Bean, and we can always call for Sherlock Watts."

"We could indeed, let's go and eat."

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3344 by Angharad Copyright© 2022 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
It wasn't the greatest of meals but thankfully we weren't anywhere near the MI5 tosser, I half expected him to pull out a large magnifying glass but he didn't, nor did he don a deerstalker or smoke a pipe, he was generally asking lots of questions. especially of my assistant professor of biology, who is known as a bit of a firebrand when it comes to the Tories, I try to keep my socialist inclinations under control. I knew as soon as I was back from lunch, she would start.

Lunch, which I paid for was a curry for Toby, which he said was good and my jacket potato with tuna, well, if I had anything different they send for a doctor. It was okay, probably better than I'd have had in a cafe, the restaurant I go to with Daddy is usually better, then it is twice the price.

Toby went to see the scene of the crime and I went to my office to Deal with Dr. Alison Smithers, my head of department, starting before I'd had my cuppa, the profanity of it.

"There are people walking all over my lab, who are they and why are they here?"
"MI5, and they're trying to catch the burglar who drove a cherry-picker up to the building and broke into your lab, I'm surprised you weren't here earlier screaming blue murder."

Alison was about my age, rather articulate and highly voluble and well-known for expressing her opinions. "You mean my research has been taken?"

"Seems like it and the MOD sent for MI5 to solve it."

"But that's outrageous."

"I quite agree. I presume it was under lock and key?"

"Yes, my filing cabinet, we were all set to start clinical trials, I'd ordered the animals and everything."

I find animal experiments distasteful especially as they usually have to be destroyed when you've finished, we have tried changing the rules, but the ministry won't wear it.

"What were you researching that someone, obviously in the know, found it worthwhile to steal, especially in such a flagrant manner?"

"I don't know, that side of the building is sheltered from the rest, and seeing as no one is working that late, they wouldn't be seen."

I agreed with her, it was quiet and sheltered from the rest of the campus and also from the park which has a hedgerow of some trees and bushes, but it seems not thick enough to stop some van with the cherry-picker on its back. The van was damaged by its encounter with the hedge but not enough to stop them breaking into our third floor laboratory. It was obviously planned.

She told me that the project had been about wound healing and apparently a combination of vitamins plus the inclusion of various bits from jellyfish, if applied to a fresh bullet wound or shrapnel meant, the patient was due to recover quickly and infection risk was reduced.

"We had three formulations to test, we've done so with tissue cultures and they all work, were now due to test it on living animals. The licences were all approved ages ago."

"You're going to shoot live animals?"

"Well, simulate it, yes."

"How big are these animals?"

"Dog sized."

"You're experimenting on dogs."

"Yes, you have problem with that?"

"Yes, I do."

"You approved the research."

"I don't recall reading about dogs."

"No, it didn't feature in the original application."

"Why not?"

"At that stage I didn't know we'd be scaling it up to larger animals, if the dogs work we go on to pigs and we do that with the Welcome Trust who have facilities to deal with larger animals."

I was astounded, no one had used dogs for ages, my predecessor had stopped them to prevent attacks by animal rights activists, I almost sided with them.

If we call in Trishlock Watts, actually she changed her name to Cameron, she is not going to want anything to do with the animal experiments except to stop them. Alison left to see what could be salvaged in her lab, we say her lab, it was the one which she used most often. As she left so Toby came back they spoke for a moment in the doorway but he came in with his hands in his pockets and sort of swagger.

"You look pleased with yourself," I threw at him.

"I think I've solved it."

"What The Times crossword?"

"Ha, ha, no, the theft from the lab."

"All right, give it to me."

"She robbed her own lab and sold the research to someone else."

It could explain her absence this morning, but why and who is this someone else? "Why?" I askled.

"Easy, money, she did it for money."

"I drive a bigger car than her and I wouldn't like to force a van through the hedge."

"She paid someone to do the dirty work, sells her work to the highest bidder and that explains what she was doing this morning."

"You could face charges of wrongful arrest."

"Not me sunshine MI5 will do the dirty work."

"But you have to stop them, Alison is bonkers but in a nice way. Seh wouldn't do this to the university."

"If enough money changes hands or is offered, no one is safe."

"Who's going to buy it."

"Anyone with an army, the Russians would be definitely interested, even the Americans would show some interest especially their drug companies. If it heals up bullet wounds quicker, anyone would be interested."

"I don't believe she'd do that."

Looking out the window he said, "Well, MI5 don't agree with you."

"What?" I asked rushing to the window to see Alison In handcuffs being led away by Mr Bean.

"You've got to do something."

"Why?"

"Because you have."

"I haven't any jurisdiction, I told you that, it's for the intelligence services to sort out,"

"Please, for me," I said batting my lashes at him.

"That won't work, Cathy, besides I think she did do it."

"If I can come up with a better scenario, would you investigate it?"

"You mean if Trish can?"

"No, I am just as capable as she is."

"I can't promise you anything, but if you and Trish came up with a plausible answer, I might take a look."

"Is that your best offer?"

"'Fraid so," he almost chuckled back at me.

"Have SOCO dusted everything for prints?"

"I think so."

"If you find any odd ones, can you let me know?"

"That's privileged information, Cathy."

"So, you can take the credit if I'm right and I think I am."

"I'll see what I can do," he waved and was gone I visited the crime scene and tried to visualise what happened, my phone trilled and it was Daddy who wanted to know all about the events in our laboratories. I went to see him and he asked if I was going to involve Trish, when I said I might he told me to go and collect them from school, I glanced at my watch and saw that it was now going to be a rush.

I only just made it, Trish looked at me, "You appear frazzled," she said.

"The university was broken into last night and somebody's research stolen."

"Physics?" she asked.

"No, one of the biology labs,"

"Didn't think they were capable of research of any merit, biologists are too thick."

"Ever heard of Darwin, you wouldn't call him stupid?"

"Only because he's dead."

"What?" my personal hero rubbished?

"Yeah, they think his idea on evolution was wrong, big article one day in your Guardian."

"I haven't looked at the paper for days, Gramps saw it first, I only pay for it."

"Want me to take a look at the crimescene?"

"No, they've arrested someone."

"Did they do it?"

"I don't think so."

"So let's get rid of the rest and go look it over."

"We'll see after dinner." I was desperately feigning my lack of interest in the hope of stimulating hers.

"The leetle grey cells,"

Before she could finish Livvie interrupted, " Couldn't find dinner on your plate."

"Where was I, oh yes, the great Belgian detective was solving the case."

"I haven't told you anything yet."

"It doesn't matter to the great Belgian detective."

"Great Belgian chocolate you mean." called Livvie. It obviously was going to be a fun evening.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3345 by Angharad Copyright© 2022 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.

The great Begian chocolate, sorry detective and I went back to the university after dinner and then up to the scene of the crime. There was police tape at the door but my pass key still worked and we entered the lab. I saw that maintenance had been and boarded up the broken window, in the office the filing cabinet had been forced open and only the notes from Alison's experiments had been taken. It seemed as if whoever had broken in had known what they wanted, had taken it and scarpered.

Where do you start, I looked at the window and its view of the damaged hedge, the cherry picker was still outside, then I walked across to the office and the broken filing cabinet. Nothing came to mind, except it was an inside job because it was so quick and they knew exactly what they wanted. I could see why MI5 had reached the conclusion that had, it was the easiest and perhaps most obvious, yet I felt Alison was innocent. it wasn't the sort of thing she would do.

"Have the little grey cells worked out anything yet?" I asked the brain box.

"Not really seems like they knew exactly what they wanted ant took it."

"My thoughts exactly, looks like an inside job," I replied to her.

"Why did they not take anything else, I mean there's loads of valuable stuff here and they could have pinched the lot?"

I looked at the valuable equipment, microscopes. centrifuges and incubators, all very specialised but plenty of people seem happy not ask questions about its provenance, so it would be saleable, especially the optics.

Trish thought about the same things as I did, none of it made sense unless it was an inside job. "What did they steal?" asked Trish.

Some work on a miracle substance that promoted healing, stuff including jellyfish and various vitamins and some pineapple extract. It apparently healed up bullet wounds extra quick."

"They could use that in America the way they shoot each other over there, it's the main cause of death according to something I saw in your Guardian." Yet another reference to the newspaper I buy but rarely get to read.

"They've yet to do animal trials but so far the evidence on tissue samples is very good." Oops I forgot Trish was against animal testing.

"You mean that they will shoot animals to test their stupid stuff," she asked incredulously.

"Yes, it's the way they prove the efficacy of their drug."

"That's terrible, rabbits and mice."

"They have got beyond that, it's dogs and then pigs."

"What pigs are intelligent animals, why kill them?"

"They have similar flesh to us as far as wounds go."

"What pigs are like humans?"

"As far as flesh wounds are concerned, yes."

"How awful, poor piggy-wiggies."

"I agree."

"How can you let them do it then?"

"I wasn't aware they were ready to move on up to large animals"

"So killing mice is okay?"

"No, I had hoped that we just be using tissue samples which come from humans."

"When do they take them from humans, I'd have donated a certain bit of my anatomy? I can't now but I would have."

"I know sweetheart, but it's scientifically produced from foetuses when they aren't wanted."

"You mean babies?"

"Not quite, they are only embryos which are produced for in vitreo implants, they always make more than they need in case any are damaged or diseased and they would be discarded so are sold to the medical companies. Tissue samples are made from them."

"That's gross, no wonder I want to do physic biology is evil."

"I'm sorry you feel that way, perhaps we had better go."

"I'm not sure that I want to help if they are doing such awful things. Perhaps animal rights people did it?"

"They might have but normally that advertise they've done it, no one has claimed responsibility for this."

"That's because it's the Ministry of Defence they are taking on, they may be misguided but they aren't stupid."

This girl was growing up although displaying typical teen traits, I was waiting for, 'I'd let them use me instead of the animals,' which you usually get as teenagers see things in black and white not the shades of grey upon which reality is founded.

We went home and Livvie teased Trish remorselessly as only sisters can, Oh how I wished I'd had one when I was younger, although April Ashley's siblings weren't very friendly to her and I might have one who was similar which would have devastates me.

I went to bed thinking that despite being at the site of the robbery, I was no further forward and I began to think it was an inside job but would I ever find out who and why? I resolved the next day to speak to anyone who was involved as I knew there were some postgraduate students who had assisted, they often get lumbered with the tedious or boring things, but at the end of the period of they're lucky, they have their names on the paperwork as well and that may determine if they get jobs or not.

Someone somewhere must know all I have to do is find them, the words needles and haystacks came to mind, I wondered if our American cousins used the term, if they understood it and then decided it was self-explanatory. I seemed to sleep okay until the light woke me. I'd left the curtains undrawn last night watching the Moon drift by, I fell asleep before I'd have pulled them closed, so this morning I was awake before five o'clock and by then the day was here and light enough to read except I turned my back to the windows and woke again at half-past seven. Then I leapt out of bed and showered calling the girls as I dressed.

Of course the teasing continued at breakfast and Trish got so fed up she actually stormed off leaving some of her cereal. I had to intervene and told them that there'd be no more of it or I'd get cross and they'd be punished. It went quiet for a while until they found another topic they could give their attention and probably pull apart. Harpies as a term crossed my rather stymied brain.

In my office I asked Diane to get me a list of post grad students involved with Alison's project. She produced it in seconds which impressed me until I discovered she done the original for MI5. I nearly challenged her but thought better of it.

The biggest surprise I had was seeing Toby again when he marched into my office and as usual I offered him a drink of tea or coffee which he accepted and as we settled down with our brews he looked at me and said, "You don't know do you?"

"Don't know what?" Actually there were many things I didn't know but I did probably know more things than the man on the Clapham omnibus.

"Alison is dead."

"What!" I exclaimed at him.

"She was released last night, on bail of course, and she went home and killed herself, leaving a note to say she was guilty."

I found myself feeling quite sick. "How do you know?" I asked him.

"Someone called this morning to ask her some more questions, failed to rouse her and thinking she might have done a bunk, broke in and found her dead in bed, having taken a bottle of pills and the note was on her bedside table. She apologised for letting you all down."

"Can I see the note?"

"No, its property of the security services."

"Can you get me a copy?"

"Why do you want to see it?"

"To check it's her handwriting, we have samples here."

"It was typed, I think."

"She didn't write it then."

"Says who?"

"Says I and I will state that in a court of law."

"How can you say that?"

"She didn't believe in typed notes, she was almost fanatically opposed to them."

"She was under stress."

"So, she'd still have written it by hand, so who wrote it and was she murdered?"

"That puts an entirely new complexion on things," said our pride of the Hants Constabulary and a frown crossed his face.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3346 by Angharad Copyright© 2022 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.

"If Alison was murdered then why, they already had her notes, so why was it necessary?" I asked Toby.

He didn't answer for a minute or so, "That's just what I was thinking and how did they get her to swallow a bottle of pills?"

"Quite, it's difficult to do even if they force them down, do we know what the cause of death is yet?"

"No, the post-mortem won't be until later today."

"Perhaps you need to tell them she was murdered?"

"No they can claim bias then, if they discover it for themselves it's different, besides I wouldn't like to impede the security services in their search for enlightenment."

"That sounds very cynical verging on contemptuous," I told him, his facial expression was a vision to behold and he stuttered for an answer.

"I'm not convinced it wasn't suicide," he said when he stopped blushing, "That's likely to be the result of the security services examination."

"Who is doing the post-mortem?"

"They'll bring in someone from outside, they always do."

"Someone who is told what to say?"

"I didn't say that."

"No, but you implied it." I watched as he blushed again. "Who usually does it?"

"Varies, sometimes it's old Butcher, sometimes it's some woman, Cynthia someone and sometimes they call in someone from the Home Office, like they will now."

"Can't you ask for your own pathologist to assist or sit in on the process?"

"They won't countenance it." What an old-fashioned expression, shows he went to public school.

"Can't you insist?"

"Who do you think I am, Sherlock bloody Holmes?"

"I think you know more about policing than he ever did or his creator."

"Coming from you that is quite a compliment," his chest swelled up, just in time for me to puncture it, if I chose. I didn't.

Instead I asked him how we could get a copy of the real results. "You can't," he said.

"So they will cover up a crime of murder and blame her for the loss of her notes? That's two crimes and you're just going to sit there?"

"Nothing I can do."

"Bollocks," was my response.

"Yeah, and how can we stop it?"

"I shall go to the press and tell them the truth."

"Just like that?"

"Pretty well."

"You will fail and be subject to the scorn of MI5."

"That's not a new experience, I've encountered them before and they lost then."

"That'll mean they are doubly bound to win this time and you don't want to make enemies of them."

"Who is the local boss?"

"Sir Roderick Allen."

"Wasn't that a fictional detective?"

"No that's Alleyn, Ngaio Marsh's creation."

"Sounds the same, anyway I shall tell him to pull his finger out or I'll get pa-in-law to ask questions in the house."

"Cathy that frightens him as much as you do. It's no good you can't do anything."

"Don't bet on it."

"Anyway, I have to go."

As soon as he was gone I got Diane to find out the name of her daughter, they were estranged but I was sure I could manipulate her or morally blackmail her.

The problem was that we could be intercepted by the security services. Playing a game of hide and seek, we managed to meet without being overheard, I think. I had removed two trackers from my car and she had found one on hers. I had a look and found another which we added to a truck which would hopefully give them the run around before they realised their mistake. Deidre had never forgiven her mother for such a dreary name, but she had done nothing to change it when I explained she had possibly been murdered by the security services or somebody similar she was up for trying to do something to pay them back. Our plan was simple and she would insist on the post-mortem being carried out by a named pathologist as well as the official one. I offered to fund it and we hoped that it would make the official doctor think twice about faking the results as we could argue about them in a coroner's court, against my counsel, who was considered one of the leading barristers in the country who few would want to stand against, so it looked like we had them. All Deidre had to do was insist on a second post-mortem and she looked up for it.

I warned her that they would try everything from bribery to intimidation and she told me she was prepared to stand her ground. She was much more likeable than her mum had been and I quite liked this twenty-something girl who had lots of spirit. I told her to tell the coroner she wanted an independent post-mortem and I'd do the rest.

It wasn't long before MI5 tried to intimidate and I told them to leave my office and stop being crooked. As soon as he was gone I phoned his boss to complain and told him if they wanted to play silly buggers, to look for a new job as I would be seeking out everyone involved and would personally seek compensation. He told me that being wealthy didn't mean I was as important as I thought and as I had loads of children, I could be vulnerable. I told him he was a despicable bastard and if anything happened to any of my children I would kill him myself and look to repay the debt to any family he had.

I immediately contacted James and asked him to get the name of Sir Roderick Allen's family and by tea time his son was out of work and his mortgage was called in. I was futile I know, and very nasty of me, but I had to show his father that his family was as much at risk as mine. Later I discovered my car had the tyres slashed and interrupted a stranger talking to Danni. When he attempted to grab her I broke his arm and told him, next his neck was the target. He ran off to a nearby car and I began to wish I'd broken his leg instead.

I was nicked for speeding and parking and as soon as I called the police the charges were dropped, my name still intimidated them and when I told Toby someone had tried to abduct Danni, he hit the roof. Simon who had called in the mortgage of Sir Roderick's son told me he was massively in debt from a bad investment and he had sent him another demand for more money than his father could comfortably raise, I knew we had the upper hand. The next day Sir Roderick came to see me.

"Lady Cameron if you don't stop this campaign, I shall remind people of your past history."

"Go ahead, I am not ashamed of it, but you might read the bit about my killing Russian terrorists and not underestimate me, so if one of your men or women comes near any of my girls, they will go home in a body bag next time."

"You're very violent for a woman aren't you but then you aren't one really, are you?"

"You sent someone to abduct my daughter, I broke his arm, next time it's his neck and then I shall visit the same violence on you. Your bank accounts are frozen while the bank investigates them. Your internet accounts are viewable by millions and by this evening you will be out of a job and by the time of the inquest, you will be a convicted murderer. I hope your replacement is better at this stuff."

"Hang about, you've done all that?"

"Oh, I have several plagues to visit upon you yet."

"How can you do all this?"

"Easy, and if I really give it my full focus, your life expectancy is much diminshed, still your wife can openly see the man she has been having an affair with, and they can have fun spending your pension pot."

"What, you are breaking the law and impeding an investigation."

"I would call murdering one of my staff somewhat illegal and you will pay for it."

"That wasn't me."

"I don't really care, you were involved."

"I wasn't, that came straight from the centre."

"I hope the Home Secretary is insured because she is on my list to be investigated."

"They will close you down."

"I have already got a promise to publish from the Guardian. I suppose she can always move to Rwanda, she has contacts there with the tyrant who runs the country."

"You can't win you know."

"If anything happens to me, articles will be published that destroy you if they haven't already sacked you for incompetence. You're on borrowed time."

"You think you have covered everything don't you?"

"No, I don't but I'll take you down with me and part of the Home Office, who let these things happen."

"What if we let you have your second post-mortem?"

"You can't stop me, it is a right of her family."

"Oh, the body could disappear."

"So could yours."

"What?"

"I am just predicting that if it does, bad things will happen."

"What if I said that it doesn't have to be like this?"

"I would say you were lying or you are a bigger coward than I thought."

"If we let the coroner find unlawful killing by person or persons unknown."

"But we know who did it don't we?"

"What if I told you we didn't do it."

"I wouldn't believe you."

"We didn't actually."

"Who did then?"

"Ah, that would be telling." I watched his facial expression beam, he thought he had me.

"What if I have evidence that you are lying."

"I'm not, we didn't do it." There was his sickly smile again.

"That won't stop me from publishing."

"This will," and he produced a handgun.

Just then my secretary walked in, "Thought you might like a cup of...oops how clumsy of me," she tipped to cupfuls of the boiling fluid on him. He dropped the gun and jumped up shouting I leapt over my desk and after a torrid tussle, I had him secured with cable-ties.

The gun was bagged up and I instructed Diane to call Toby. She did so immediately. Sir Roderick complained about that she had ruined his trousers. I reminded him that they'd give him a new outfit in prison.

"You think you've won don't you?"

"Know but you have lost."

"Toby arrived saw the gun and immediately arrested him."

"It's licensed to me," Sir Roderick protested.

"We'll see said Toby, nobody carries a gun on my patch."

"You fool, your career is over," threatened Sir Roderick.

"I think it will last long enough to prosecute you," replied Toby, and I handed over the card from the camera which had recorded our meeting. "Does this compromise you?"

"It might I admitted." I was thinking of the threats I made.

"In which case I won't take it, I know nothing of it," he smiled and took Sir Roderick away. I took Diane for lunch along with Daddy as I prepared them for more dirty tricks by the security services.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3347 by Angharad Copyright© 2022 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
The next day I was surprised to hear that Sir Roderick had passed on the investigation to Special Branch. They are almost as secretive as MI5 but at least they're police. Saying that, my relationships with the law enforcement brigade haven't always been exactly cordial, but lately they've left me alone and I promised not to start a reign of terror.

Talking of rain, we badly need some for the gardens, Daddy was forced to water some of the vegetables or they would die and I'd have to buy them.

Inspector Duvalle, was the man Special Branch sent to interview me. Although they'd taken at least two statements from me. He was a man in his early forties, well dressed and rather dapper. I wondered if he was gay.

"Lady Cameron, could you run through it again?" He gazed at me as if he wanted to say, 'Not bad for a grammar school boy,' "Why do you think Alison did not commit suicide?"

"She didn't, she was murdered."

"Poisoning with sleeping tablets is a rather inefficient way to bump somebody off," he commented.

"Not if you want it to look like suicide," was my rejoinder.

"Have they done a post mortem yet?"

"Two actually, which I'm sure you know, seeing as you paid for it."

"I didn't trust the Home Office pathologist."

"I would, this isn't some government conspiracy, you know."

"Isn't it, can you prove it to 95% as we require our students to do."

"Hopefully, I can prove to you that Alison took her own life and it's as simple as that."

He crossed one leg over the other than suddenly jumped up, "Cramp," he squeaked and walked up and down my office.

I grabbed him and my handbag and walked us over to the refectory. "You need to eat a banana."

"Don't be silly," he tried to insist but I told him it was that or an avocado as they are rich in potassium which helps to alleviate cramp. When faced with eating avocado he resigned himself to eating a banana. First point to me, although of course he was investigating the theft of the research papers and a sudden death. He told me that Alison had taken barbiturates in sufficient quantity to kill her, that there appeared to be no sign of violence and given she had let people down, it was just a simple suicide. They happen every day.

"If that was the case why are you here?"

"Because highly secretive work for a government department was taken, many foreign countries would like it."

"So I am told. Inspector, if I said that I knew Alison very well and she is neither the type to sell out to a foreign power nor is she any more likely to kill herself. She simply isn't the type. Her daughter will confirm that."

"As a scientist I presume you deal in facts?"

"Yes, of course I do."

"Despite what you feel?"

"Naturally, where are you going with this, socratic questioning won't work because you're wrong."

"Am I, where is your proof to 95%? I'd love to see it."

"It might take some time to collect it," I replied.

"Carry on, but don't get in my way." So saying he finished his banana and coffee and left. I drank up my tea and wondered where did I go from here?

Of course back to my office and another cuppa, when in doubt drink tea, it doesn't actually help but the extra five minutes in the loo passing it does give you time to think. I rang Toby and he was out, so I actually did some work, which should surprise Daddy as he seems to think I just sit here day dreaming, well, I do but don't tell him.

I was just ending one such day dream when Toby rang. "You tried to reach me?"

"No I tried to phone you."

"That's what I said."

"No it wasn't, you asked if I tried to reach you. Well, I have news for you, my arms aren't that long."

"I've just had the pleasure of meeting Inspector Duvalle from Special Branch."

"Oh yeah, so are you now gonna come quietly?"

"Good lord no, is he gay?"

"I dunno, you're supposed to be better at picking up these things."

"Why?"

"'Cause you're a woman, men are useless at that sort of thing."

"Men are useless full stop."

"Hey, we're not all useless."

"That's true, Simon does have his uses if I'm the mood."

"I don't think I want to know that."

"Suit yourself."

"Why did you call me, I'm sure it wasn't because Simon is unavailable and you're in the mood?"

"I'm not actually."

"Don't tell me you got lonely?"

"Okay I won't."

"Won't tell you."

"Stop being literalist."

"Simon says that sometimes."

"Ah, so I'm right then."

"Don't push your luck. If I told you you were right you'd keep on about from now until doomsday."

"Why did you call?"

"I have the post mortem results in front of me, the second one that is."

"Yeah, so what does it say that the other doesn't?"

"I don't know, they wouldn't let me see the other one."

"I see, so you want to see mine?"

"Gosh, I can see why you're an inspector."

"Sarcasm does not befit you."

"You have wounded me."

"Tough, now what's for lunch?"

"So the way to a man's heart is via his stomach?"

"In my case it's closer to my bowel."

"That's a funny place to have a heart."

"I wasn't talking about my heart." I heard sense of frustration building so I cut the sweet nothings.

"Do you know...?" Half an hour later I was parking in the car park of the restaurant that Daddy frequents, except I knew he wouldn't be here today as he had a meeting. I scanned it for Toby's Saab but he wasn't here yet. I looked around and spotted that I had a tail, no, not literally, but I was being watched a moment later my mobile peeped. Toby had sent me a message. 'I'm inside, you're being followed.'

I sent one back. 'Order me my usual, I'll in in ten minutes.' Having sent it I drove out of the car park and my tail followed. I drove about for several minutes before doubling back on myself and parked in a side street. I then took off my jacket and pulled on a scarf and surreptitiously strolled to the restaurant leaving my tail floundering I hoped.

"This is what you want," he handed me a photocopy of the pathologist's report, "you can keep it, just don't let anyone know how you came by it."

"I done one for you of the second post mortem, please note minute traces of rohypnol."

"How come we didn't find it?"

"The bill I paid would be expensive for an operation on a living body, for a dead one it's outrageous, but if you want the best.

"You pay for it. Rohypnol could explain why she poisoned herself but we still have to prove it and also a motive."

"How about the government stole their own documents and pretended some foreign power had taken them. Then eliminate the weak point in the chain and get someone else to finish the job after the heat dies down."

"Are you trying to tell me the security services killed Alison?"

"I'm not sure yet but it is one scenario that needs investigating."

"Oh, so I stroll into MI5 and casually ask if they killed anyone recently."

"If they were responsible, I suspect a third party was involved."

"Wouldn't that mean the papers could have been copied after the robbery?"

"That's how we catch them."

"I don't see that."

"Because you're not a woman."

"What does my sex have to do with it."

"You have to be sneaky at times."

"Well, you're that okay..."

I closed him down with a look, but he was right, I can be sneaky, now I just have to be sure I don't wake up dead.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3348 by Angharad Copyright© 2022 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
Before I left the office that night I called the Welcome Trust who was supposed to be arranging for Alison to finish her research in their laboratories, probably working on pigs. I made an appointment to see her future co-worker, a Jonathon Goldsmit, the next day.

Early the next morning I found myself via train, a tube and a cab outside the offices of the Welcome Trust, I had with me my laptop and a sheaf of papers. Dr Jonathan Goldsmit was a short, dark person wearing a yarmulke or kippah, a Jewish skullcap, I, resisted the urge to suggest that a 'Kipper' was a xenophobic little Englander who believed the propaganda of that despicable rogue, Nigel Farage and helped bring about Brexit with its subsequent loss of 10% of the economy, instead we shook hands and then rubbed hand sanitizer on them.

After a cup of delicious coffee, we got down to business. Jon had heard of Alison's death and the burglary at the university, what I hadn't expected was his offer to see his copy of the notes. I couldn't wait and with bated breath sat and perused them. I was there an hour and had only read a small part of them, so as he had another meeting to attend, he offered to have a copy made to take back with me. I declined and asked him to send it encrypted to my computer at the university. I also asked if perhaps he could do a second copy on an encrypted pen drive, which Trish had offered to decode for me when I got home, it meant that if Special Branch confiscated my office computer I still had a copy. He complied but thought as it was likely in the public domain, it was pointless. I disagreed and told him that it was missing but we didn't how many had seen it and it did pertain to national security. He obviously thought differently, but then he wasn't Alison's boss, I was.

I organised a light lunch with Simon, I only seem to see him at the weekends if then, as the bank often calls him out in an attempt to infiltrate their firewalls. The Russians are the usual perpetrators but sometimes we also have to deal with the Chinese or just home-grown hackers which Sammi puts to the sword It wastes so much of her time that she sends them a program which wipes out their hard drive and sends their URL to the police and GCHQ. It is apparently possible to discover that despite their attempts to hide it and being cleverer than they are she always wins.

One or two of the better ones end up being interviewed by Cheltenham and even offered jobs after a deal of screening. Simon and I talked about umpteen things including the recent fires in London during the heat wave and he admitted the new flat had air conditioning which was expensive but necessary. I didn't tell him about why I was in London except to say I had an appointment with the Welcome Trust, which seeing as they sponsor all sorts of research could have been just run-of-the-mill stuff, had he asked, I would have told him just that. I'd also asked James to make all sorts of background enquiries and he went off licking his lips with anticipation.

Simon certainly gets to know the best restaurants and knowing my love of Italian food took me to a little place off Cannon Street. I had a dish made from aubergines and a side salad he had pasta after a minestrone soup, that looked like a meal in itself. If I'd eaten half as much I'd have slept all afternoon, and the half bottle of red he drank as well, would guarantee it for me. Oh well, he'll be grown up in twenty years, perhaps he'll think more about his calorific intake by then, I had my own problems to sort out and Alison was the major one at the moment.

Despite the temptation to read Alison's notes on the train I desisted and read the paper and finished the crossword. I rarely see it until Daddy has finished with it and by then I'm usually too tired so I either fall asleep over it or don't bother. Today was thus treat, even if it did mean paying twice for one, mine and the one delivered to the house.

I got home early enough to collect the girls and still had an hour or two before dinner. Trish opened the drive for me, the encrypted one and by dinner, I had severe doubts. After dinner, more salmon, I set about checking her calculations and I got a different answer. I summoned Trish who had finished her homework and gave the calculations to her. In half an hour she reached the same answers as me. We had reached the same conclusion and she looked as puzzled as I did.

Just as we wondering if we had made a mistake, James phoned. "I had an interesting conversation with a man who reckons he knows who the burglar was and where the papers might be."

"How much is that going to cost me?" I asked.

"Oh, I thought you'd have been pleased with my enquiries?"

"I am, but I have hit a new complication here."

"Oh, do tell."

"I can't at the mo, need to check a few things first," I replied.

"Okay, the stuff I have collected for you is on its way." He rang off and I looked at Trish.

"I still have the same answers," she showed me.

"Unless the original papers are different..."

"This ain't gonna work, ma." I reached the same conclusion so were the original papers different or had Alison cocked up?

I rang James back and asked him to secure the original papers if he could, "Oh, so now you want them?"

"They are the university's property so of course, I want them, I also want to check something against them."

"Okay, I'll try and get them tonight."

"That would be good."

"I'll let you know how I get on."

"Keep safe," I said reminding him of one death related to the papers.

"I shall, I want the pension that's due to me."

"Why did you embark on a career that makes it very difficult then?"

"I thought train spotting or stamp collecting were too dangerous." He rang off before I could comment about his latest absurdity.

"What do we do now?"

"I think we wait and see if there are two sets of notes and calculations."

"And if there aren't?"

"We have a problem."

Trish shrugged and decamped. I sat and pondered what was Alison up to? I didn't know. I would speak to her research assistant tomorrow. I went to bed but slept little as things ran through my mind. Just what was she up to?

I struggled into the office the next morning and on my computer was the same as the papers I had read already complete with mistakes. I rallied enough to hold a meeting but yawned all the way through it and had to apologise to colleagues saying I hadn't slept well the night before, when James text that he had the papers and because they were stolen he had threatened to call the police. They were surrendered without a fight although they had probably been photocopied a dozen times before. A bit later he strolled into my office with them and while he drank coffee I tried to find the calculations.

They were the same, what Alison had done had been wrong, had she known this or not, if she had she might have arranged the break-in to conceal it, she may even have killed herself, the Rohypnol designed to muddy the waters. It felt possible but very sad when all she had to do was tell me and we would have discussed it with the MOD and taken it from there. She could still have been murdered but why? I called Toby and the Special Branch. They both arrived within minutes of each other.

I showed them the papers and the mistakes I'd found in the calculations, they both hemmed and hawed, saw what I was on about and looked at each other. "What exactly are you trying to say?" asked Inspector Duvalle.

"The research is useless, it doesn't work."

"Perhaps it needs tweaking?" Duvalle uttered.

"No it's too far off the numbers required, if only she'd come to me?"
"Did she just miscalculate?" Toby looked directly at me.

"I don't know what happened but this lot is just a pile of junk," was my comment.

"The Rohypnol could have been a red herring, her family doctor didn't prescribe it but it's available if you know where to look for it," added Toby.

"We have at least one case per year of students accused of using it for nefarious motives. Welcome to the internet," I said.

"I have checked with MI5, it's nothing to do with them or any known department, so it looks as if the poor lady did it to herself," said Duvalle.

"As if they'd admit it?" I commented and Toby suppressed a smirk, Duvalle shrugged.

I think I'm going to collect my girls from school and go home," I said and collected my handbag.

The three of us left my office, me telling Diane I'd be in tomorrow when I woke up. Toby laughed and I drove off towards the convent.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3349 by Angharad Copyright© 2022 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~

Later that evening James came to see me, He'd been to see the man who sold him the papers and after a little persuasion, he admitted there was another set that he'd sold on to a foreign gentleman. James pushed him to reveal who that was and it transpired he was a Russian. The man who'd broken into the university was also Russian. I asked why they weren't working together, both being Russian, and apparently, they couldn't stand each other. So it's not just me, other people have dislikes too.

He'd apparently left the country, no doubt with the papers, although James having pressed a little harder had discovered there was still at least one copy in this country and he persuaded the man to give it to him. He mentioned that previous copies had been forgeries or altered as they didn't do as the paper suggested they would and if this was different he might part with some cash if not, too bad.

He gave me the new paper and I called Trish, "Check this one," I told her and she went off happy to know she had figures to play with.

"You give a scientific paper to a thirteen-year-old?"

"You want a result in half an hour because she will have been through the calculations twice, or you can wait for an hour and I'll have done them once. She's got A-level maths, I struggled with Ordinary level."

"I mean she's good, but you understand the science."

"Only vaguely, this is cutting-edge and possibly flawed, I'm not yet convinced that she didn't con us all and then commit suicide when she realised the game was just about up."

"D'you really think that?"

I don't know what I think anymore. There are so many versions of it and why did the crown pathologist miss the toxicology, the Rohypnol?"

"Maybe he was crap?"

"Not according to my chap, he is brilliant, so how come he missed it?"

"Or did he?"

"My point exactly, if he had been told to miss it and it was only by chance that my chap found it, it was a minuscule amount but it was there and had mostly metabolised out, so she had taken it some while before she died. She also had some small bruising near the mouth which could mean the tablets were forced on her after she had passed out."

"In other words, murder?"

"Yes, but I'd have expected a stronger dose of Rohypnol, as the security services don't tend to use subtlety unless it suits them, especially when they control the pathologist. They didn't know I was arranging for a second examination."

"But why kill her, it doesn't make sense."

"Unless someone else did."

"You mean the Russians?"

"Well, them or a third party."

"It still doesn't make sense."

"Who was the Russian who sold him the papers?"

"Bogdoff."

I burst out laughing. "Is that his name or what he did?"

"Eh, Bogdoff, ah, bogged off, very funny."

"Not if he killed her."

Before he could reply Trish returned with the figures, "These ones add up," she said, "but there are a couple of terms I haven't seen before in the text."

"I'll have a look, have a biscuit and some milk and off to bed with you," I told her.

"Mum, I'm thirteen, I'm going to have a cup of tea while I read my book."

"Which one?" asked James.

"Quantum Universe."

"Just something light then?" he joked, she rolled her eyes and left handing me the paper and her calculations on a separate piece of paper.

"I wonder if that's the only copy?" he said referring to the paper I held in my hand. "I'll do a bit more digging, who knows what I'll turn up."

"Take care, it's already cost one life."

"I can take care of myself."

"I think that's what Alison said."

"Yeah, but I mean it."

"So did she. She had a black belt in taekwondo."

He left, his car waking up half the neighbourhood as he sped back to his home. I liked him so I doubly didn't want to see anyone harm him, he was a nice bloke but that is no protection against crime, especially, one organised by the Russian secret service, no wonder MI5 were hovering in the background.

The next morning I phoned Toby, I told him I'd got hold of a paper where the maths did add up. "Ah, but does the rest?"

"That's what I'm going to check next, as much of the science as I can, but I still have doubts about it actually working, But I can't check that."

"Cathy, from the rumours that abound about you, you may be the only person who can."

"Which rumours are they then?"

"The magic healing ones amongst others."

"What magic healing?"

"The stuff that happens when you are around, the knowledge you have of others they don't know about, including senior police officers' wives, you get my point."

"You don't believe all that stuff, do you? You do, don't you."

"I have heard some very grounded people talking as if you were the Messiah, they are not the sort you would expect to hear that from."

"Messiah? Don't be daft."

"So with you about anything could happen, including raising the dead."

"Now you are being funny, no one can do that."

"It depends on your definition of dead."

"Yeah, being able to run a marathon, kind of dead."

"I'm only saying what I've heard."

"I suppose it comes before or after flying saucers and ET in you filing system."

"Aliens come first because they start with A."

"Whatever, I have work to do, bye."

He started to say something but I didn't hear it. I settled down with a cuppa ad the paper. Trish had mentioned terms she hadn't seen before, there were some I hadn't seen either, and much of the paper seemed written in a gobbledy gook. I sent for her research assistant, a PhD student, Russell Neme, he happened to be in today and he appeared an hour later. I finished reading the paper and had surreptitiously copied it, I had sent Diane to get me a tuna roll as I'd not had time for breakfast.

Russell arrived and Diane brought us a cuppa. I showed him the paper and after a ten-minute read, he said he thought it was the final version. He told me that MI5 had been to see him and most recently Inspector Duvalle had been, he was spooked by it and didn't appreciate my smirking at his choice of words. I had to explain that MI5 were called spooks. Thankfully he saw the funny side of it and smiled too.

He was kept away from much of Alison's research, she told him she wanted to protect him, he'd been sceptical at first but now he was quite glad she had. I asked him if he had known what it was all about. He wasn't sure but he thought that she had hit upon something quite unexpectedly, which she had thought could revolutionise wound healing and possibly fighting infection as well, but that hadn't been tested. No wonder Welcome were interested. They could make a fortune, again.

I had considered there was a lot missing from the paper, she had hinted at things not stated them fully. It sounded like an interim report and I said as much to Russell, he agreed. After Diane was sent to get more tuna rolls, we sat down and went through Alison's paper, Russell and I did.

She had hinted more than detailed her research and I felt it was an interim report rather than a finished item, I certainly would not have passed it as research degree worthy, Russell agreed. "I've wasted a whole year, she was so secretive, she wouldn't let me in on the interesting stuff. I found her over a hundred papers on healing regimes and she didn't even say thank you."

"Would you like to continue the project?"

"What here?"

"That looks doubtful but the Welcome Foundation seem quite interested. I could put in a word for you."

"Wow, I'd love to but I'd need a lot more information than we have at present."

"Assuming both those and them being agreeable, it sounds more up their street than ours, would you be interested."

"Absolutely, especially if it got me my doctorate."

"We might still offer one of those if Welcome were happy for it to be set up that way."

"Yes, I am interested."

"Right, it might take a little while to talk them into it so I will let you know one or t'other."

"Okay, I wait for you to call."

"Take a week or so off, take a holiday or something."

"No money for holidays as the research grant was suspended when Alison died."

"Okay, have a few days off but keep away from strangers."

"You think I'm at risk?"

"Possibly, pays not to tempt providence."

"Yeah, I was going to go birdwatching at Farlington Marshes."

"I think you'd better not."

"Why?"

"If someone was after you it would be an easy place to either abduct you or deal with you."

"I see, okay I'll catch up on my reading."

"Sounds safer and you can use the library here if that helps?"

"Okay, I'll wait to hear from you."
I called Welcome and spoke to Jonathon again, I told him we'd found a new paper and that I'd spoken to Alison's research assistant who would be willing to continue with the research. He was quite cool about it so I mentioned I had to speak to Astra Zenica so I wouldn't use up any more of his time. His attitude changed immediately and he thought he could find space for Russell after he'd interviewed him of course. I told him we could award a degree but he'd obviously need to do a dissertation which we'd have to mark. He went cool again but agreed to see Russell.

I got Diane to call him asking him to call me, meanwhile, I called Jim and asked him to come to me at the university. Russell phoned and I told him to call Jonathon at Welcome and to wear something tidy, I filled him in on the situation, he thanked me and rang off. Jim did arrive and I had to inform home. I'd be late home.

We searched Alison's lab for anything she may have concealed there,I was sure there was something. Eventually, we did find something, it was taped to the bottom of the lowest filing cabinet drawer and took us several minutes to extract, Jim holding the cabinet at 45 degrees while I struggled with the file which was taped to it. Finally, it was free and I skimmed through it. It may have been what I wanted or what someone else had wanted enough to kill for. I made two photocopies and then with much persuasion got Jim to help me put it back, minus a couple of pages, so I had the missing bits. I swore him to secrecy and we went home where David had made the most amazing souflé and Jim thoroughly enjoyed it, well his share plus anyone else's he could steal, beg or borrow.

Trish and I went off to my study and we went through the maths and then the paper. Without some more work, it would never do what it set out to, possibly Welcome could finish it and possibly Russell would get his PhD. I would submit a version of it to the MOD and tell them I had given it to Welcome as I felt it wasn't really or bag. It was up to them what they did about it, but I would mention Russell's part to them and how he'd like to continue. Jim went home when we ran out of food and I went to bed having decided what I wanted to do the next day.

It was about 2.00 a.m. when something woke me, it was a noise from downstairs. I sat up and listened, we had intruders. I went into the bathroom and called Toby's private number, he eventually answered. "I think we have burglars."

"Stay away from them, I'm on my way..."

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3350 by Angharad Copyright© 2022 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~

I went to the bedroom doorway and listened, there were definitely sounds coming from downstairs, then suddenly, they were coming up the stairs. I looked around me for something to use as a weapon. The steps came closer and I swung back the old vase ready to bash anyone on the head with it, when mumbled, "It's a sair fecht,' just saved me bringing it down hard on the head of anyone coming up the stairs.
Just then a couple of police cars burst into the drive and there were sounds of a scuffle outside. "Daddy, I could have killed you."

"For why wud ye hae killt me? I fell asleep in ma study."

"I thought you were up in bed?" There were definite noises off, so I sllpped passed him and ran downstairs, I opened the back door as two coppers were restraining a complete stranger.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Oh, hi Cathy, look whar we found trying to gain entry into your house," came Toby's reply.

"What? I just discovered the noise were my father coming up the stairs, not wishing to wake anyone he didn't put the light on, and crashed about like a wounded elephant."

"A few more minutes and you'd have had an intruder, we suspect it's the bloke who broke into the university. He's ex Russian secret service, so MI5 will enjoy talking to him."

"I thought he would have had lock picks and so on?"

"If he had any, they've probably been turned into bombs by now and dropped on Ukraine, but let's not start down that road," said Toby.

I invited him for a cuppa and the other officers, they'd take it in turns to watch the prisoner or drink them outside. While the kettle boiled, he asked me what was the man after. I pretended I didn't know, but it was locked in a safe, in a rather obscure part of my study, behind the faux fireplace, but that was between Jim and me, I told nothing of our find to Toby, it was too dangerous. So how did this Russian agent find out?

The police went on their way and I went back to bed thought I was anything but sleepy. I tried to puzzle out how he knew there was something to take to risk breaking in for? Only James and I knew and I'd told no one, so they must have 'I can look after myself' Beck. I eventually rung the police station and discovered that Toby had gone home again. I tried hi home number.

"What is it now, flying saucer on the roof? You realise this reducing my beauty sleep?"

"I think they might have James, I tried phoning him and he doesn't answer."

"Maybe he's actually got to sleep?"

"I have a bad feeling about this."

"Sorry, we don't send out patrols for those, only for good feelings."

"We found some more papers."

"Where?"

"In Alison's office."

"Why weren't we told? You wanted to DIY it, didn't you? You and bloody Beck. Then when you've messed up, then you call for the professionals to sort it out."

I resisted the urge to tell him that none of them could find socks in a drawer, "Look I am worried about James."

"So am I, his interference usually costs us time and money, it's about time he got his comeuppance."

"I see so I have to find and rescue him by myself?"

"That isn't what I said Cathy."

"Isn't it? Prove me wrong."

"All right, I'll send a car out to his house and see if he's there."

"He's not, he's near here, I can feel it. You should be searching near here not bloody Winchester."

"Do you realise what that would cost?"

"Do you realise what law suits cost? I asked him.

"You'd have to prove negligence first."

"Oh, I think Jason could do that, or enough to swing a jury."

"You've already spoiled my sleep, I'll come over again and we can look in a few places. Get dressed and be ready for half an hour."

Damn, he makes me work harder to get what I want, why? He knows that I always win in the end, pity those wretched Russians don't. I dressed in a thin black top and trousers and had a ski mask in my pocket. I also packed one of the multi-tool things in my pocket and I had some climbing rope coiled about my waist.

I saw the lights of his car come into the drive and after locking up walked out to meet him, except i wasn't him. I dashed off into the orchard with someone close behind. I ducked behind a tree and he went rushing passed. I saw the moonlight glint on his gun. I pulled on the ski mask over my ponytail and disappeared into the shadow of a a big oak tree. I scaled up the trunk and looked down on him walking underneath. Just then Toby came into the drive, I saw the lights of his car. The stranger walked stealthily underneath me, a few moments later, he was laid-out and unconscious, he hadn't looked up and didn't appreciate how fast I can climb if I see a gun.

The other car disappeared when Toby drove up to the house and because it tried to drive off with no lights on, of course, Toby followed it. Well, he did for as long as he could, but he isn't a pursuit driver and his ageing Saab wasn't quite up to it. By the time he came back, the one I'd disabled was trussed up tighter than an oven-ready turkey.

"Where'd he come from?" he asked getting out of his car.

"Oh, this was one I made earlier," quoting the famous Blue Peter line. "I saw the car headlights and thought it was you, it wasn't but he was looking for me on the ground and I was up a tree. I quite hurt my knees hitting him on the back of the neck."

"God, he's all tied up and you like a Ninja, what did you call me for, it looks like you have it all under control?"

"He had this," I handed him the gun.

"Glock, eh? at least they have decent guns not some horrid Russian thing."

"As far as I know they still kill people."

"Yes, but these do it more style," he checked the balance of the pistol. This what they issue to the force."

"Oh, I thought you had catapults and pea-shooters."

"Nah, that's the cadets, us hardened coppers, get to use real ones now and again."

"What shall we do with him?"

He walked off phone in hand then minutes later he returned, "They are sending a car."

"Will I have to explain?"

"Not tonight."

"What does that mean?"

"As soon as they come, we can go look for Beck, bloody amateurs."

I ignored his remark and an unmarked car came into the drive, they loaded the still unconscious stranger and drove off. "Okay, I had to buy some petrol but we're good for a few hours if necessary." I got into the Saab and buckled up. "Which way, Kemosabe?"

I closed my eyes and the blue light told me left, "You sure, 'cause the other one went right?"

"Go left," I repeated and he followed my instructions. The light steered me to an old industrial site. "Stop here," I said.

"What for, there's nothing here?"

Instead of answering I got out of the car. "Simon and I once caught a murderer hereabouts."

"He'll have to get a move on," joked Toby.

"No, I'll make do with you."

"Aw, you're so kind. Hey, wait for me," he called as I walked towards a derelict factory. "If anything happens to you, Simon will probably invade Russia."

"They're in there somewhere, come on." As we walked in silence we heard voices, we had found them.

"Where is the paper, Mr Beck, we know you found it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." There was a sound of someone being hit, several times, and my blood ran cold. I pulled on the ski mask and Toby started to snigger. Two minutes later he was frantically searching for me hissing my name, that he'd walked past me twice didn't occur to him, neither did he notice when I took his gun. I tucked it in my waistband and pulled my top over it. He didn't know I was walking behind him till I tapped his shoulder and signed that we should get down.

A moment later, one of the Russians walked out and shone a torch about, there was gun behind it. He walked stealthily past us and dropped like a stone when Toby hit him on the back of the head, dropping his gun. He began feeling for the one I had given him earlier and then cuffing the man with his handcuffs, his arms behind him, he gagged him with his hanky and the man's belt. "If he wakes up he won't be able to alert them," he whispered.

We crept onwards and we saw two cars and a group of men, one of whom was strapped to a chair and another was shouting at him and punching him. He'd pay for that.

I'm calling for back-up. Fortunately, any wind that was blowing was coming towards us and after Toby had finshed and pocketed hi phone I spotted a old scaffolding pole. "Cover me," I said and marched into the group of men and hit the one who was punching James across the face with my pole, he went one way and I think his teeth went another.

"I managed to hit another with my pole and just as one of them drew his gun to shoot me, Toby called, "I wouldn't do that, old boy, if I were you." They dropped their weapons and the one who'd been beating up James lay groaning and rolling on the floor. As I was untying James he stopped groaning and drew a gun James grabbed my pole and threw it like a spear at the writhing man and it went straight through his head. Unsurprisingly he stopped writhing.

As we sat and waited for the police, Toby said, "We're are in the caca for this, Cathy."

"As it is I think we did quite well, though I lost my bashing pole."

When reinforcements or was that three and four pence, did arrive we were immediately arrested and taken off for questioning. They'd come about four o' clock and I got home after eight, they were still eating breakfast.

"Where've you been?" I groaned it was going to be long story and I still didn't know what happened to Alison, but I was going to do my damnedest to find out.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3351 by Angharad Copyright© 2022 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~
James had come back with me and had a shower. I kept some underwear for this sort of eventuality, it was new and I knew it would fit him. I gave it to him and also one of Simon's shirts, a casual thing, but at least it had no bloodstains on it. The police had found his car so I drove him to collect it and he set off for home once he'd found the magnetic box that housed his spare. "These keys cost a fortune, you should pay for it really."

"I rescued you, doesn't that call for discount," I said smiling at him.

"I'll let you off this time."

"I didn't lose them last time."

"Don't be pedantic," he sco9lded.

"I wasn't, I was just stating the facts and that was you lost it, not me."

"That's the trouble with women, they're all so literal."

"At least you know what you're getting."

"I am grateful, Cathy, but don't expect me to show it."

"Bramble has been training me for situations like this."

"Bramble...the cat?"

"The one and only."

He laughed, got in his car and drove away. I hope Simon doesn't miss his shirt. I went home and after a snack I went for a few hours sleep. My head was still buzzing with thoughts of what had happened, at least I hadn't killed anyone this time. I tossed and turned thinking I had missed something. It must have been three hours later that I awoke with a start. My memory had just remembered something. I showered and tried to think where I had seen it.

Trish came in while I was dressing, at least she knocked before barging in. "Are we doing anything today?"

"Not as far as I know, why?"

"Can I have another look at the secret paper, the one you have in the safe."

"You are not supposed to know that, besides you seen it once, you checked the calculations."

"It's not those I want to see, it was the chemistry."

" I want to look at that myself." That was what I had recalled, something which I had glossed over earlier came back to haunt me.

"We can look at it together," she smirked.

"I don't know the less you see of it the better, then you don't have to lie."

"I'd never tell anyone, well would you expect and teen to know anything."

"A teen who's going to university next term."

"I know that and so do you but who else does?"

"I don't know, I don't want to expose you to danger."

"I'll be okay, I have you as my guardian angel."

"I'm more of a Guardian reader."

She laughed and showed her regular shaped teeth, I hoped she never had anything happen to threaten them. Fortunately, they tend to leave us alone after we've had a contra temps while they regroup. They would need reinforcements and that take a bit of time especially with MI5 picking them up as they arrived.

I'd missed lunch so David did me some scrambled eggs on toast, they hit the spot and after eating Trish and I went into my study and I took the paper out of the safe. Over a cup of tea that Danni brought us, we went through the paper line by line and came to the same conclusion, the chemistry would never work. The substances in the jellyfish were well know although there were six or seven of the compounds mentioned none of them were known to react like they did in Alison's paper.

"Either she did something to them that isn't mentioned or they were different from those mentioned or the thing doesn't work, full stop." I voiced my concerns to Trish.

"I've been reading up about these things and don't they usually use seaweed not jellyfish?"

"Agars are used for all sorts of things from ice cream to drugs," I suggested.

"I don't think we substitute ice cream for jellyfish."

"No, course not," I said and she laughed as she visualised us swapping Häagen-Dazs for Cnidarians. I had to admit is was amusing and I laughed too.

"They could be doing something with DNA they use a technique called agarose gel electrophoresis when they are separating out DNA."

"That could be it, Ma," she said cheekily.

"Oy, watch it," I replied to her lip.

"We need some help, this is cellular biochemistry, I'm an ecologist."

"You're a smart arse ecologist, and I love you despite your inadequacies."

No one had mentioned my inadequacies since my pre-op days and Simon, instead of talking, fucked me. He hadn't complained since, so I was left to assume rightly, or wrongly, that I was no longer inadequate. I must ask him one day.

Trish was almost bouncing," We've cracked it," she danced around my study, "electo-foreskins," she repeated over and over again. I phoned Toby, who I learned had just got up.

He drove over and Trish was still chanting her mantra which made him look perplexed then he laughed especially when I told him the proper term. In letting him in I had glanced at the post. There was a brown envelope addressed to Sarah who had taken a part of the first year biology exam. It looked like her results. She had been very busy supporting me and doing the bulk of the childcare/entertainment. Somehow she hadn't noticed it.

I settled Toby with a bottle beer and went to look for her, she was with Cate and Lizzie doing a board game. "There's a letter for you on the hall table."

"Yeah, I know, I was waiting till you were with me before I opened it. I am so scared about it."

"Why, Debbie said you were prepared for it."

"I know, it's just me, I get panicky in exams, especially one this important."

I hugged her and told her not to worry and to call me when she was ready. She relaxed and went back to her board game. I went back to Toby and we discussed what we knew. It seemed certain that the Russian secret service had kidnapped Ali and killed her. He had someone viewing traffic cams and it looked as if the car the Russians were using had appeared umpteen times near her home. It wasn't conclusive but it looked quite suspicious and Toby was convinced it was them, even though it had appeared clumsy, perhaps affected by the war in Ukraine.

I sent a fax to Jonathon and he emailed me back that my suspicions could be right. He'd set an experiment up to run the next day. I submitted the file to Toby and he'd pass it on to whoever was most appropriate but ultimately, the MOD. I also asked him to tell tha grapevine that they now had all the bits and the case was closed. It might even get to Russia eventually, I was sick of their shenanigans, I was a middle-aged professor who just wanted to be left alone to run her department and raise her kids.

So much had happened that I couldn't give my time to, for instance Danni had ended her contract with Reading and transferred her allegiance to Bournemouth. It was nearer and the team seemed to be going places. Danni had been left out of the European Cup competition and decided this was her last year.

"But you are only seventeen," I argued.

"Yeah, I'm gonna give it one more year and the concentrate on uni."

"What happens if they, the university, ask you to play for them?"

"I'll see how I feel, I'm sick of being injured."

"It's what less talented players do to equalise things. It never does of course, because you can't stop people who are better than you, and you are one of the best."

"Thanks, Mum," she smiled and we had a little hug. The money that the Cherries (Bournemouth) were paying her, much of which she was saving, was nowhere near what they pay men but it was better than Reading.

"You need to score a few goals to show them what you can do."

"Show who, Mum?"
"Those dopy England selectors."

"They won the Euro Cup, they can't be so dopy."

"They'd have won it more easily if you had been playing."

"Probably, but we don't know that and they seem to have pencilled me out of the squad."

"Go for Scotland again, I'm sure they be interested if we told them you were available."

"But I'm not, going to Bournemouth is bad enough I'm not travelling up to bloody Scotland just to please my mother."

"You could probably have got a uni place up there."

"I have to play down here, I'm not interested Mum, and I'm not interested in England any more, they can go and play with themselves."

"Okay, if that is how you feel you'd better tell them you're no longer available."

"Nah, they have already dumped me, so stuff them, two can play at that game."

"Okay, I'll leave you in peace."

"I'll see you ate tea, Mum." she went upstairs to her room. Toby had gone too and I was reduced to making my own tea as David was putting the finishing touches to dinner. I made him a cup too and sat at the table looking at the paper.

"This Tory party election is all wrong," I said, " how can somebody claim to be Prime Minister of Great Britain when they are elected by a small group of geriatrics with Alzheimer's."

David laughed, "I've missed your anarchic comments this week," he told me but before I could reply Sarah arrived with her envelope.

"I don't think I can do this," she almost whimpered.

"Why not, changing over takes more courage than this does."

"I know, but this is different."

"How is it?"

"Oh, I dunno, it just is."

"Give it 'ere, I'll open it for you," David offered.

"Um, I wanted Mummy to do it, no offence."

"None taken, young lady."

"It's addressed to you, and I think you know what it says."

"I don't," she said adding, "it was harder than I expected."

"Was it, hadn't Debbie covered it all?"

"Yeah, no it was me, I don't like exams."

"W ell, you have one a year if it's good news."

"Yeah, but I'll be with other girls."

"You're hardly alone here," I said with an element of frustration in my voice.

"You know what I mean, you've all been wonderful, especially you and Danni."

"And Trish and Livvie, they encouraged you?"

"Yeah, they knew more than I did, they're like, ten levels above little ol' me."

"They are clever I'll admit but don't put yourself down."

She sat on my lap and while David beavered away she slid the envelope under my hand. "Go on," she said.

"Let's do it together," I whispered.

"Okay," she said.

I slid a knife across the top of the envelope. "Your turn," I said pushing the brown paper towards her.

She shrugged and closed her eyes while she drew out the contents. "Tell me, she said, I'm too frightened to read."

David walked around and peered at it. "Well done, kiddo, you're in the uni with Trish and Danni."

She opened her eyes and read the document, " I passed, Mummy I passed." She hugged and kissed me and did the same to David before crying her eyes out with happiness.

"It says here you got 85% for your submission, I think you did more than pass, girl."

"I suppose I did, I was so scared."

"Why, I told you Debbie was a good teacher."

"I know but there is always a doubt in my mind."

"Why, I only offered you the place because I knew you were up for it."

"Thank you," she hugged me again, "You're the best Mum I've ever had," she spoke quietly and tears poured down her face, "You won't regret this, Mummy, I promise."

I kissed the top of her head, " I know, sweetheart, why don't you go and tell the others?"

She wiped her face and ran off to spread her good news. "Did you know she passed, you know on the grapevine, like?"

"I knew she would because I had every confidence in her, but no I nobody told me, Ait's against the regulations."

"Oh," he said adding, "I'm glad I never bothered then."

"They can't teach genius," I said and he absolutely beamed back at me.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3352 by Angharad Copyright© 2022 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~

I heard back that the experiment with the agar seemed to be doing the trick and it made me smile to think of Trish and her Häagen-Dazs in the formula. In a few weeks, she was going to be studying physics and maths, Dannielle would be taking biology and so would Sarah. I might be involved if they do any ecology on their courses but I didn't think there was anything much as it was more laboratory-based than out-in-the-field stuff. It was what the other universities were doing and were competing with them. The environmental science we did included some ecology and because I had degrees in both I could teach ecology and biology but of course I not be able to teach my own family, of which Sarah was now considered a member, because of possible conflicts of interest.

Life drifted back to normal and I applied myself to problems at the university, one of these was the rise in fuel and energy prices which had risen nearly 100% in the past few months, mainly due to the effect of Putin's invasion of Ukraine. Now they were accused of a cyber war against Moldova a tiny country that had gained independence from Moscow and had even joined NATO. It was harder than ever to think of Russians as evil although I knew the ordinary people were like us only Putin and his gang could be seen as truly evil.

The university council was summoned for an emergency session to sort out some sort of policy for energy use and using my experience of creating policy for High Street Banks, it fell to me to draft one for the university. I would remind them of my efforts the next time there were any jibes about me being a director there. Diane and I worked on a policy for a day or two and we also did a variation on it for the bank, which Henry liked. Basically, I decided on reducing temperatures and told people to wear more clothes as the need arose or we would close branches, which was a possibility yet.

I sent a copy to Simon once Henry had approved it but it still had to be passed by the bank's board and we had a meeting in a couple of days. It was a coup as Henry pushed it through with little or no dissent and the same happened with the university which approved my suggestions nem. con.. I tried to adopt a low profile afterwards but it was leaked enough to be mentioned on the local news and then later on the national news. The next day it was featured in the newspapers with headlines of, Don't forget your vest and University tells students to wear extra clothes..

That morning I had various news outlets contact me for sound bites to include in their next issue or to play on their news bulletins. For two minutes I achieved notoriety again and was referred to as 'Dr Dormouse,' as they recalled my successful films. Thankfully, it was short-lived and I was allowed to get back to my normal duties of writing begging letters to get sponsorship for research projects, which were harder since we'd fallen foul of the research monies we used to get from the EU. Once again I cursed Boris and his con-trick which caused the morons who make up the electorate, to vote us out of the EU. It was only now that the problems I had forecast were showing, that everything cost more and took longer. This caused by a government which was going to cut red tape presumably by changing the colour and doubling the amount.

At the weekend Simon came home and I walked funny for a couple of hours the next morning, no one said anything but I suspect that they were still thinking it. I wasn't ashamed, I happen to love my husband and like to show him. We did it again on the Saturday and once more I walked stiffly the next morning and again I received the knowing looks from my children, but they said nothing, it was almost less hassle when they did say something instead of the smiles I got now.
It was about two weeks since we had given the formula to the MOD that it happened. Simon had taken my car to the garage to get a minor fault sorted, I was taking the tarpaulin of my old Jaguar and was inside the garage out of sight of the others, Meems might even have gone with her dad. I was busy folding the tarpaulins when Something was jabbed in my back and a strange accent demanded that I didn't move. Although I was standing quite still I felt my blood pressure climb and my heart rate increased.

"You think you are so clever, girlie-boy, don't you?"

I was tempted to answer that I was compared to him but said nothing.

"I have come to kill you."

Again I said nothing except try to get my mind to think about how I might escape. I had tarpulins in my hand and he had the drop on me and was standing about a yard behind me. It was at this moment Danielle chose to come and see me. "Mummy, if you are, oh who are you?" she said as she stumbled upon us in the garage.

I whipped around and hit him with the folded tarpaulins which knock the gun out of his hand and threw myself at him. "Run," I shouted her and she disappeared.

"No matter," said my attacker and started to try and strangle me. I did realise who much difference adrenaline makes to strength as broke his grip and pushed away from him trying to get a breath into my empty lungs. He lunged at me again and this time I shoved the heel of my hand into his face. I think I heard his nose break but still he came at me. Given his superior weight and strength it was only a matter of time before I succumbed. Once more his hands grabbed my throat and I managed to head-butt him in the face, he stepped back and I did a back-kick which had him stagger backwards into Danielle and Daddy, the latter who came armed with his shotgun and whacked the Russiian across the back of his head. He went down like a stone. I picked up the gun he'd dropped and warned the others that there was probably another about, perhaps with the engine running for a quick escape. The gun had a silencer, so they weren't waiting for a shot to mean the job was done. I tied the would-be assassin with some rope we had in the garage and unfolding the tarps I began, with Danielle's help, to roll him up in them.

We needed now to get back to the house, so with Daddy waving his gun about and me holding the hand gun to hurry back to the house, once there I phoned Simon to warn him and next I phoned Toby.

It only seemed like a few minutes and the place was crawling with armed police and a helicopter was hovering over the place. Because the response was so quick, they caught the accomplice of the assassin, as he was being taken away, I told him to leave me in peace or next time I would kill him and anyone else who they sent. It was pure bravado but I was so psyched-up by it all I was ready to kill anyone who threatened me or my family.

Once the police had departed and Simon had returned with my car, I shook and cried in his arms. He told me that the bank would retaliate if they had a chance by taking investments out of Russia and by making a donation to the opposition parties to help them destabilise the government by exposing the corruption. He also told me he'd ask Sammi to do something nasty to their computers if she had a chance. Usually, we were busy keeping them out, the Russians and the Chinese were the worst, now, for a short time we'd go on the offensive and when she rang a little later she had left presents for the Russian energy giant, Gazprom and also their military sites. She said she'd enjoyed it reminding her of her earlier life as a hacker. GCHQ in Cheltenham was told briefly what she had done and if their attack on her mother had been successful, she'd have destroyed everything she could of their computer resources. We may not be a superpower but we could still inflict damage. I likened it to not being able to land a killer blow, but being able to land a kick in a tender spot, which reminded them not to mess with us.

Henry was informed and when I attended the board meeting some days later he unveiled a series of measures to inflict more damage on the Russian economy and his intention to act with other banks to maximise their effect. My paper on reducing energy use was well received and I was invited to see where else I could save energy and thus money. I just had to hope the university didn't get wind of it or they'd be chasing me as well. I suggested they use an environmental science postgraduate and sponsor him. Henry immediately backed me and it was agreed unanimously.

Now all I had to do was find someone and supervise them, but we had achieved another research grant and that was what my job was all about. The nightmares were easing and I no longer had Kiki sleeping on the top of the landing. Hopefully, soon I'd be back to normal, it was just that I couldn't understand why one person could cause so much trouble worldwide. If only he didn't have nuclear weapons and now he's agreed to fit planes from Belarus with a facility to carry nuclear weapons. The man is a disease he's beyond contempt but my hating him achieved nothing except it gave me a headache. It was Monday morning again and I was back to work. The cycle was back to normal.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3353 by Angharad Copyright© 2022 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~

I was saddened to hear of the death of the Queen who had reigned over us for over 70 years, some job I wonder what the pension is like? Forget it, the jobs they have to do, meet and greet the world's loathsome leaders, at least Covid had stopped them shaking hands. People on the Radio 4 news had met her and said she was something special and they'd felt they had her complete attention, even if probably she was bored stiff, she was polite. Rest in peace Lilibet, your sense of duty was remarkable. It screwed up all your kids but then living in a goldfish bowl can't be easy.

I listened to experts and people who actually knew her or Charles who now becomes Charles the third, we haven't had a King Charles for three hundred years, so things will feel a bit different for a while. We also have a new Prime Minister, so with energy prices rising faster than a Saturn 5 rocket, things will be different. My contempt for that silly little man in the Kremlin grew in the same proportions to my energy bills and although we shall be able to afford them, it is all down to the megalomania of one rather annoying little turd, a pox on all his houses.

Everything was quiet at the university, anything not absolutely necessary was shut down and the flags were at half-mast as we entered however many days of official mourning. I felt a little sad mainly because it was the end of an era and we always miss those, partly because we don't know what's coming. At the moment everything is so uncertain, climate change and weird weather, the cost of living crisis, the war in Ukraine and more revelations out of America. I looked at the Guardian online and after reading about the court case between Mermaids and another LGB charity, which it claims are trying to prove that gender has nothing to do with sexuality and they accused it of trying to separate transgender people from other sexual minorities to weaken the support they get. I read of a mother's dilemma that by supporting her transgender daughter who has just transitioned, she could lose custody of said daughter as Republican states become a hostile places for transgender children. Apparently, the governor of Texas has created a witch-hunt by having investigators check out families with transgender children with a view to removing them. Before long, these same people will probably make it illegal for trans people to breathe.

I read an article which showed that one of the judges that passed the anti-abortion legislation has a wife who is very much involved with right-wing Christian groups, particularly those looking to damage individual human rights. I also saw that Iran had sentenced two women to death for being lesbian activists and Ayatollah Khomeini described homosexuality as being a crime against the earth. I would think his nastiness was more inclined to beat that category.

It seems we live in world which is run by arseholes, Russia, Republican America, Brazil and the Middle East including Iran, is run by lunatics with dangerous delusions and they hate people who are different because they show there is another way to live. They (the megalomaniacs) are frightened of anyone different so they find the most helpless minority and kick them, especially if they are down while telling lies and crying crocodile tears and selling fear to those who are gullible.

Apparently, the judge named in the above article was now set on undoing same-sex marriages, which he is quite happy to pursue unable to see that marriage should be between to people who love each other and not for any other reason. What sort of Christianity they follow isn't one the founder would recognise as it seems to have hatred as its main component, close followed b by fear, fear that people will see through them perhaps?

Diane brought me a cuppa, "Sad about the Queen," she said plonking down the mug.

"Yeah, the day after she met Liz Truss," I answered.

"That mean she's toxic to old ladies?" she joked.

"I think if we have a cold winter lots of old ladies could die."

"But it's hardly her fault, is it?"

"True, I wonder if we could charge Putin with their murder."

"I gather you don't like him?"

"I have never hated anyone before but I am beginning to make an exception for him. He's a total monster."

"Shall we make that unanimous?" she asked and I nodded.

The rest of the day dragged as much as the first part, everyone seemed to be sad. Daddy came by before lunch and told me we were going for lunch. I accepted his offer because the refectory was probably going to be like a wake.

The restaurant was displaying a photo of Her Majesty and it was a little subdued but generally, it seemed just quieter as people spoke with retrained voices. "I met her, ye ken."

"I didn't know that," I replied.

"Aye, twice."

"Twice. How come?" I asked.

"Aboot thirty years ago she opened the new laboratory block and aboot twenty years ago I was invited to a garden party. The sun actually shone all day."

"I met the now Prince of Wales at my garden party, he was very nice, but I think your two meetings with HM trump that."

"Aye, she wis very nice on both occasions," he looked quite wistful as he remembered his encounters.

"Are you okay?"

"Aye," he said as our lunches were brought. These days we just have to say, 'The usual,' and they even bring our usual drinks, my cranberry juice and Daddy's Guinness.

We ate them without feeling the usual enjoyment, eating out of need more than pleasure. I was quite glad to be back at my office and the irritating Diane, who had stuck a picture of the recently deceased monarch to the office notice board alongside which was a picture of a relatively youthful queen opening the laboratory block in 1989. "Where did you find that?" I asked.

"In an old file," she replied.

"I came across it a month ago when we were, well, I was sorting stuff. I remembered it when I saw the pictures in the refectory."

"It's quite a good photo of her," I observed.

"That's what I thought, tea?"

"Is the Pope a catholic?" was my response and I resumed trying to finish the report I was supposed to be writing for the bank on further methods we could employ to save energy. It included reducing heating and supplying thermal underwear. By law, we had to provide a background heat of 60 degrees F and it also was necessary for hands to be warm enough to function. I included an option for people to move around every hour to stimulate circulation or hot drinks in offices, I also suggested we check every branch had a microwave to provide hot food for lunches. It was all basic stuff and I made reference to experiments that showed the temperatures were so or the laws stated statutory definitions of minimal temperatures. For the first year, we wouldn't save that much as the thermal underwear would cost a packet as would any microwaves or new kettles. However, I suggested people working in their coats were unlikely to produce the corporate image we would like to present.

I had Diane proof it and we sent a draft to Henry and to Simon, they both approved of it but hoped we wouldn't need to reduce heating that much. At home, I had a meeting with the children and said we would be reducing the house temperature and turning on the heating only when it becomes necessary. They all complained, I told them to sit about in the kitchen which would always be warmer due to the Aga and David cooking for us. I also said that I would buy them extra thermals if they felt it was necessary.

Trish was gleeful saying that she could wear trousers to uni until Meems reminded her that she complained of wearing trousers before and couldn't wait to wear skirts. It wasn't quite true because she'd presented as Trish when Meems first met her and when she came to me she was in a skirt but it did shut her up for a moment. Then Trish looked at me and asked if I was going to wear trousers instead of skirts to work. I hadn't really thought about it and I had some longish skirts where I could almost wear trousers underneath them, but I decided that I would probably wear thicker tights when I had to wear skirts and warmer undies. "I'm gonna wear those too and thicker tights under my trousers."

"Trish, we live on the south coast and you're not exactly volunteering for the Antarctic Survey are you?"

"No, but I feel the cold," she said and I believed her because I did too, despite the layers of subcutaneous fat the hormones had created. It was one of the changes I had noticed when I transitioned and like Trish I had initially eschewed trousers, when the cold wind blew up my knickers, I soon reverted to trousers again although a longish skirt of heavy material, thick tights and a couple of petticoats was almost as warm it was twice as cumbersome, especially going to the loo, but I decided that evening to have check of my wardrobe and especially my woollies. I just wondered if I'd be able to function wearing so many layers as like others, I'd got used to central heating everywhere and most of it gas-fired.

Daddy had brought up the suggestion that a heat exchanger of the sort they make for large gardens, which we have, would be a good idea. As they cost so many thousand to install we decided against it, but then a madman hadn't invaded Ukraine in those days and the chance of getting hold of one and the workmen to fit it was unlikely, but certainly something I'd keep in mind. I was not looking forward to winter although temperatures were in the twenties at present but they were dropping slightly and we had had some rain, often thundery and thus not particularly helpful to the water supplies. Climate change and Putin were not helping anyone.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3354 by Angharad Copyright© 2022 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~

It had suddenly grown colder at night and instead of leaving the bathroom window open, I shut it. If anybody showered the Expelair fan should deal with it, although I hadn't used it for weeks, I didn't need to, I opened the window. I was now thinking differently. I had only experienced a sense of cold when I was outdoors, getting wet on field trips and the like were the only times, unless you count wandering around in a rugby jersey at school waiting to be picked by one side or the other, whichever drew the short straw. I knew that nobody wanted me, except every so often they threw me the ball which was an excuse for everyone on the opposing side to jump on me and punch and kick me until the referee decided I had enough punishment just for being girly. I couldn't help it, it was just the way I was born. I was, however, a reasonably fast runner and I recounted how one day I was thrown the ball and instead of being tackled immediately I snaked my way past the entire opposing team and scored a try.

My team was ecstatic, my run was described as ghosting through the opposition, worthy of Barry John, a Welsh player who had retired at the height of his game having partnered Gareth Edwards for a few seasons. They were both I was informed some of the greatest players ever to play rugby. I was still wondering how I ran through the 'enemy' when the ball found its way to me again and I did the same again. The tries were converted and they were exactly the amount by which we won.

The head of the sports department was told of my achievements and refused to believe it. As far I was concerned I was the arch pansy and couldn't run with the ball or tackle to save my life. However, the next Saturday I found myself picked for the second fifteen and had to play a team from the school just up the road. I walked there expecting that by the end of the first half the opposition would know I was a wimp and had no idea how to play. I didn't fully understand the rules, I just did what everyone did except spit on the pitch.

Unbeknownst to me the head of sports came to watch. It was the second team, so nobody had a real sense of the game, so when the ball got thrown to me I did what I could to avoid someone twice my size clattering me. I ended up scoring a try. Suddenly my team were all friendly, it was first time we had been in the lead that season. Amazingly, it happened twice and ran through the opposition with none of them able to touch me. We were well ahead and I might have scored a hat-trick, except someone tackled me before I had the ball. They knocked the stuffing out of me putting a knee into my leg causing a dead leg when they hit me. We were awarded a penalty and it was converted. They scored once when they came past me, I couldn't tackle at the best of times, carrying an injury I couldn't run fast enough but it was too late and we won because of my tries.

My father was informed. I was promoted when the person playing on the wing in our first fifteen was injured and was told to stand in for them. I was horrified, this team were one of the best in the schools league, they knew what they were doing, mind you so did most of the teams. I was very different to playing in the secondsI tried to opt out but neither my father or the head of sports would listen. I pleaded for them to release me as I felt out of my depth but they insisted I play. Being named in the team was a real honour. Play umpteen times for them and I'd get school colours, which would enhance my chance for acceptance by a university when I applied. I tried to tell them but everyone thought it was the end of my girly period and that I had suddenly become a man.

We lined up against the opposing team and I was the smallest on the field, probably by about 20 or 30 pounds. They threw me the ball expecting me to run down the wing but within about two seconds I was splattered by their winger. To add insult to injury he ran through me knocking me flying when he scored their opening try.

We were lambasted, beaten by five tries to nothing. I was called a disgrace by the captain and I nearly burst into tears. "You big girl's blouse, tackle the bastard or you'll face me afterwards." I must have taken his advice because in the second half, their wing was charging down the line and only me to beat, when he tried to run through me again. I made a token effort to get in his way and in doing so got knocked out and he fell over me and broke his wrist. Neither of us took any further part in the game, but shared a trip to the hospital in a teacher's car.

My father came to get me, after I had a scan on my bonce to determine if anything up there worked. I presume it did and I actually felt all right before they took me to hospital. I didn't tell them in case they put me back on the pitch. The chap who broke his wrist called me all sorts of names, mainly questioning my masculinity, because the injury stopped him trying out for the county team. I just shrugged, he should have looked where he was going. My tackle attempt was pathetic, all ha had to do was run around me instead he tried to show his dominance and go through me and fell awkwardly on his hand breaking his wrist. I had a slight concussion but I had stopped him scoring. It didn't help, my own team saw me as ineffectual and the opposition spotted me as the weakest link. They were both right but I had tried to tell them it was a mistake. My concussion had meant I couldn't play for a month and by then they had forgotten about me and I continued hiding in the shadows trying not to seen by anyone who would beat me up.

I shuddered at the memory and felt cold again. Trish was quite right, I did the cold more than I used to. If I said anything to Simon he'd just pull my leg and tease me about it. I shivered again and decided I'd say nothing. My rugby memories had lasted a few seconds and I can't remember touching a rugby ball ever again. My mother had been upset by my concussion and told the headmaster that I wasn't to do games again as I was too delicate. I was sore the next day, it felt like I stood in front of a train but I milked it for every drop of my father's guilt. He had been excited by my playing rugby until he saw me play and then wished he hadn't. It wasn't my fault as I was up against other player who were much bigger and knew what they were doing I was just there to make up the numbers. I had tried to tell them perhaps they listen in future.

I thought about Danielle and her football, she was fearless. I was timid unless one of the kids was threatened. As a school kid I sometimes preferred to take a beating because it was easier to survive one by one than by half a dozen, so I became quite good at risk assessment. I also learned to fight, using whatever was available. It wasn't pretty and the guy who taught me and thought I was girl, told me that survival was everything. It was no good to play fair and end up dead. So I learned how to read a situation, to see if there was escape possible because cowardice is preferable to violence and potentially dead heroes. Indiana Jones may be able to take on six opponents and come out without a scrape on him, real life is not so amenable, and if attacked by six opponents the most you are likely to do is take out one or two.

However, I did fight my way out of an attack by five assailants. Had they known what they were doing I could have been killed or seriously injured but they underestimated me. While they were trying to provoke me thinking it would be a pushover, I had assessed them all, backed against a wall and then took the inititative. I knew that if I got it wrong they could do me serious harm. The first one didn't see my punch to the throat coming, he went down and stayed there. They now had to get over him to get near me. The second was off balance and I kicked his knee dislocating the kneecap, he rolled about on the ground making loud noises but he couldn't stand up. Number three pulled a knife and so number four who was stepping over his prostrate friend got pushed on the knife which shocked both of them, I managed a kick to each of their groins and they ceased being part of the assault, the fifth tried to run off when he saw it was him versus someone much smaller and feminine looking who had just dropped four of his friends. I leapt onto his back scratched his face and I tripped him landing on him as we feel. Being on top I got up first and delivered a kick to his jaw which rattled his teeth if not liberating some and walked away. None of them ever challenged me again. As a girl it was the only fight I had and it proved several of my self-defence coaches points. I had a few bruises, they had several but rather than lose face by saying that they got them from me, a known girly-boy, they kept it quiet or said they were cornered by a gang and fell to superior numbers. It made me smile, but they say one woman is worth half a dozen men, I don't think they mean it that way.

It's all psychology and sometimes surprise is worth loads, it was to me. I have taught all the girls some kick-boxing, so they may get a decent first blow in, but also emphasised that running away is best of all unless the chasers can run faster. It also means you can split them up, not that most people feel like fighting after a long run and always run towards people. If you beat someone up you don't want any witnesses if you can help it.

I worried about Trish and Danni going to uni in a week or two's time, especially Trish, who although intellectually superior was naïve and not used to dealing with boys, so imagine my surprise when she announced she was going on a date.

As she attends an all girl school she has limited contact with boys. So she put an advert on the internet saying her potential love interest wasn't to be older that sixteen and not be in an existing relationship. Interests included quantum physics and mathematics. Apparently, three replied and she was going to see the first tonight. I tried to put her off but she wasn't having it and by preventing her going secretly Danni and I followed he to her first rendevous. It was certainly different as I'll explain sometime.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3355 by Angharad Copyright© 2022 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~

Trish caught a bus to the town centre, my Jaguar was about three cars back. I left most of the spotting to Danni while I concerned myself with dealing with driving, it would undoubtedly help if we stayed alive during the purpose of the exercise. We saw her alight the bus and I stopped the car and Danni jumped out to pursue her on foot while I found somewhere to park the car. It took me a few minutes to catch her up and as far as she knew, Trish hadn't spotted her.

We were both wearing dark jackets with a hood which could be pulled up to cover our hair and face if necessary, it hadn't this far because she didn't turn around or look behind her. We followed her for about ten minutes we were trying to look inconspicuous which made us stand out like two sore thumbs, then fortunately for us she turned into a cafe. I don't mean she became a cafe but entered one, a sort of bistro place.

She was wearing her tidy jeans which were tucked into a pair of ankle boots with a two-and-a-half-inch heel. Her rather pretty top was covered by her red jacket and she carried a handbag on her shoulder. It was large enough to carry an umbrella and a book about quantum theory. I wondered why anyone would take such a thing with them to read on a date then realised it wasn't for reading, in fact, I think she read it ages ago, but to advertise her presence to her date.

The place wasn't exactly heaving but sitting with her back to the window enabled us to see her quite clearly without her seeing us. We watched for a few minutes and then a young man went in and seemed to be looking for something or someone already in there. He approached her and they spoke for a few moments then he sat down beside her and the waitress came to take their order. I had tried to drum into all of them that they had to pay their share, anything else may be assumed to be payment in kind. The fact she was still a minor didn't mean that she couldn't make any mistakes and while she couldn't get pregnant, she could either be assaulted or damaged or catch something dreadful. She was only a kid and while I wanted to see her enjoy herself, I didn't want her hurt.

"He looks older than sixteen," observed Danni when we had a chance to see him fully.

I agreed, "He's more like twenty," I replied.

"Too old for her and probably wanting something you told her not to give."

"I'm concerned that she may be wanting to test it all out, in which case, unless he's built like a dormouse, she will be torn something rotten."

"Built like a dormouse?" Danielle chuckled at my expression.

"You know perfectly well what I meant."

"I do but quite how you managed to fit in dormice, surprised me."

"You know I compare everything to dormice."

"I wonder where Daddy comes in this dormouse world?"

"Um....mind your own business," I replied.

She laughed again and I felt my colour rising. "What do we do now?" she asked me. I was beginning to feel decidedly cold.

"Let's go in," I suggested and we slipped in the door and sat behind Trish in a corner by the window. I said quietly to Danni we'll just have a drink because if they leave we can abandon a coffee without too much trouble but a meal we can't."

"Okay," she said and then added, "I need a wee." She was blushing profusely and we were quite a distance from the nearest loo, apart from the one in the cafe and that was just in front of Trish. The coffees arrived and I paid for them, she pulled her hood up and walked into the toilet as if she was desperate, she could have been. Minutes later, the hood still up, she snuck back to our table. "I don't think she saw me," she added.

"No, I don't think she did." We watched them eat feeling hungry ourselves, then suddenly he seemed to look at his watch and they went outside. I was tempted to run after them but resisted the inclination and followed a minute or so later hoping they hadn't turned off anywhere before we could see them. Our luck held and we picked the trail up ending at our local multiplex. It looked like we were the guilty party as we hid in doorways and alleyways on our way to the cinema. After we saw where they were going, I bought us a bag of chips, which we ate and then went into the cinema.

Looking at the names of the films I opted for the one about a mathematician and bought us tickets to it. The film had started and watching the audience I spotted them in the middle of a row about halfway down. At least it wasn't the back row.

About ninety minutes later we hid as they left now arm in arm, and I managed to catch him on my camera and sent a copy to my physics professor. Any idea who it was? He replied a few minutes later saying the photo was one of his new lecturers and why did I have it? I replied that he seemed to be dating my daughter of thirteen who was starting university in a week or two, although if this was to become a regular event, either she wouldn't be coming or he'd find himself unemployed for going out with a minor, possibly even in police custody. I received a reply, Oh shit.

As we tailed them he answered his phone as they were about to get in his car. I had a feeling I knew who the caller might be and as he took the call and then his reaction afterwards, I was pretty sure who it was and we turned and ran back to my car and I drove as fast as I could back to the house. We arrived about ten minutes before they did. I was trying to pretend I had been working on something in my study and Danni shot up to her room.

Trish got out of the car and she insisted he come with her into the house. She marched into my study and introduced her friend to me. "This is Dr Tony Millward from the physics department and we have just been to see a film. We are going to have a cuppa in the kitchen if that is okay.

I asked him if he knew how old she was and he replied that he did and that today had not been a date but more a friendship meeting as both were lonely and interested in similar things. I pointed out that the police might see it differently and I also explained that I was the Dean of the science faculty. He went white and didn't bother with tea leaving immediately. He didn't know who I was and once he made himself scarce.

Trish went bananas and couldn't see how lucky she'd been and that I was going to ask James to investigate Tony Millward for possible paedophile activities. Trish had worn little makeup as she wasn't really that good at it, so it must have been obvious that she was only young. I tried to reason with her but she stormed off to her bed and slammed the door. I asked Danni and Stella to keep their eyes on her while I went to the university to look at staff records.

I could find nothing on Millward there nor in pending on Diane's desk. I at last found a not saying his records were in transit from Durham University, where he'd got a PhD. I called James and sent him the photo, I also sent one to Sergeant Andy Bond at Portsmouth police explaining why I had sent it, and then I drove home to deal with an outraged adolescent. That we might have a paedophile in the university alarmed me.

Trish had calmed down and I spoke with her apologising for bursting her balloon and she told me he had suggested going back to his place for a drink and talk, then his phone has rung and he brought her straight home and his whole demeanour had changed from casual to worried. I asked her how old she thought he was and she replied he'd told her he was eighteen.

"Eighteen with a PhD? didn't that strike you as unusual?" I asked her.

"He told me he was a prodigy as well and that he'd get his degree at fifteen."

"In which case, he won't mind me checking on him but he's still too old for you."

"You're just jealous," she threw at me and then ranted and raged some more. I just tried to explain what he may be and that was an impostor. that really set her off and I asked Livvie to sit with her until she calmed down. I then found out Danni had eaten both our dinners, which were being kept in the little oven of the Aga. She'll grumble at me next week that she's getting fat. I had a cuppa and a piece of toast. I didn't really want it but felt better for eating it.

Stella and I talked about what had happened and she told me that she hoped I had been less obvious than when I tailed her some years ago. I laughed and said we were invisible to them which nearly had her in hysterics, "Borrowed Harry Potter's cloak did you?"

"Yeah, something like that."

When I checked an hour later both Trish and Livvie were fast asleep as were the other girls who shared their room. I was amazed that none of them were demanding their own bedrooms but all happily shared what almost became their dormitory. Oh well, I didn't disturb the status quo and when I went to bed I locked the front and backdoor and did so to the mortise lock and removed both keys. If she decided to do a runner, she'd have to walk through a wall as all the doors and windows were alarmed.

The morning came and she seemed over her anger or at least she seemed civil enough at breakfast, apparently, Danni had told her how worried I was and while it was okay to date boy a year or two older because boys were always immature compared to girls, it wasn't right to go out with someone five or six years older. When she was older, like twenty-something she could then date someone much older but until then she had to be wary.

Trish had protested that she was precocious in everything, and apparently, Danni had said to her, "So if he shagged you and tore open your fanny, remember you've only got a girl's one until you finish growing, or his house was full of his friends wanting to do the same, it was all right because you're precocious - or does dating a paedo turn you on?"

That made Trish think for a moment and she never complained again. As for Durham, they had never heard of Millward and even James drew a blank. Interestingly he failed to turn up for work and was never seen again - so if you know someone with a PhD or equivalent our physics department would love to hear from you.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3356 by Angharad Copyright© 2022 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~
It seemed that the lecture from her elder sister was enough for Trish to realise how lucky she had been. We searched high and low for him and so did the police who think he was somebody else - there's a surprise. They had reasonable belief that he was actually Tony Webber, a known sex offender, with a penchant for little girls, Trish was on the end of his spectrum, we didn't tell her but we all felt lucky that we intercepted his attempt.

Andy Bond told me that the room he'd been renting was empty of all his stuff and he appeared to have wiped all surfaces that he may have handled to remove any fingerprints or DNA, which was hardly the action of an innocent man seeking friendship. The university from now on was not allowed to start someone without references being confirmed, this being the second time they had employed someone without them being checked because we were so short-staffed. If you remember Daddy employed someone who I actually thumped because he insulted me for being transsexual, well I slapped him and it unseated him. It was in Daddy's regular restaurant and it upset him until I could prove that the man didn't have the credentials he claimed, and they weren't on their way from Edinburgh University because he had never been there.

We read stories of people claiming to be surgeons and carrying out ops until the personnel department or HR carries out fresh investigations and the fraud is discovered. It's a serious offence to pretend you are something you're not, in the case of a surgeon, it could have tragic consequences as it could have with a paedo in this case. We were unable to discover if he was acting alone or part of a network. James only discovered what the police did and the man literally disappeared, which with the electronic trails we leave, or ordinary people do, seems impossible today, but then if you're up to no good, perhaps you just avoid leaving them. We did have hopes of finding something with his mobile but it turned out to be a burner and he obviously dumped it when he left.

It was interesting when I thought about presenting as something you're not which lots of people would think applies to me or some of my girls as we started out as male in the eyes of the law. And we did but by accepted by the system, we were able to legitimately reassign ourselves as female, which meant I, Sammi, Danni and Trish were able to claim legal status as female as was our adopted student Sarah and my staff member, Debbie who all went through the system and achieved the same. In fact, I think the law allows you to cross-dress in public as long as you are not pretending to impersonate anyone for the purposes of deception, which is a pretty big field. So the odd cross-dresser going out for a thrill to the shops and who probably thinks no one notices, is fine as long as they don't do it for criminal purposes, mind you seeing some of the things they buy, they should be arrested for lack of taste, but that's a different story.

I did mention about one member of staff whose husband was cross-dressed when I went to them for dinner one night, it surprised me but didn't upset me as I try to be broadminded, living as I do in a glass house, so to speak, and they came to our house for a reciprocal dinner and no one said anything. It seems that 'the scene' is sometimes more mainline than we realise and increasingly people are tolerant. Having said that, the number of hate crimes against transgendered people is increasing, especially since the Covid lockdown, but I think that applies to anti-social behaviour in general. It seems that a certain percentage of people are that way inclined, antisocial, and being constrained for a long period has made them nastier than they were before, it apparently happened to xenophobic people after Brexit and they became increasingly racist much to the annoyance of the majority.

Once more, I continue with the feeling that if I want acceptance or tolerance I need to display that to other minorities, which I believe is broadly practised across the developed world except for certain fundamentalists who have a burning desire to take us out for a stake. That this intolerance seems to be growing across parts of America, is a worry.

The university is in full swing and Trish and Danielle seem to be settling in. Both are a bit young for the activities of fresher's week and although I suspect they resent my insistence that they avoid it, they at least comply. They can join certain clubs and societies but I think most of them hold no interest for my two, except possibly for football. In about three days Danielle was recognised as having played for England and they tried to talk her into playing. She tried to include Trish in the invite and they were less certain that a thirteen-year-old should be playing with the big girls as she could be hurt. Danni reminded them that officially she was still a minor but had played for the senior England team and had several caps at home, so she was literally able to call herself a 'Lioness'. Although she no longer wanted to be considered as available because they had twice messed her about even though she was one of the most talented young women players in the country, if not the world. Being transgender, even one who didn't have a male puberty, she became an object of interest to the tabloids and the FA chickened with all this anti-trans movement in sport nowadays. She no longer wanted to be in the press and I understood but felt she could have fought more, as I would have supported her all the way. But it's their loss and that all there is to it.

She did come and see me while I was working in my study at home the day she was invited. "What do you want to do?" I asked her.

"I don't know, part of me feels I should play for them as I'm going to be there for three or so years and another part feels like it will be playing with large kids, there are still Bournemouth ladies to consider as well."

"I think they are better players than that but most are still amateurs. Now we negotiated about training with Bournemouth, they may be hostile to you playing for the uni in case you get injured, but I suspect they might be amenable to you playing as long as they have first call on you, they are paying you."

"Yeah, I'll have to talk to them but I suppose I could do some extra training with them and give them some tips. I wonder if Trish wants to come along."

"I doubt it, as they get hot and sweaty, not quite her thing, whereas the astronomy club is."

"Yeah, that sounds up her street or orbit," she giggled as she said that and I chuckled as well. Danni had quite a good sense of humour. She sloped off to do the reading she had been told to do, Trish was already doing so, and Sarah was too, although her recent encounters with a biology exam meant she was already up to speed and could probably take it easy for while but I wouldn't tell her that as I didn't want her to lose the impetus of studying, it is quite easy.

Of course, I was faced with a childcare problem, Cate was now in the convent school and Lizzie was at their nursery so they were looked after most of the day, as were Livvie and Hannah and Meems, who were all doing quite well. Livvie was next most academic to Trish but Meems was a revelation, her abilities in English literature were off the scale. Once she lost her speech impediment she developed a confidence she'd never had before and her grasp of Shakespeare and John Donne were better than mine. She always seemed to have her nose in a book and she was always asking the school library for books they didn't have. Simon ended up granting them something for their book fund which pleased her no end.

Hannah, seemed to mature as well as bodily in her mind and she began to see the advantage of a good education and as far as it went, the convent was quite a good school. She had quietened down after her mother died, if you remember she wanted to stay with me for that reason alone however she went off the rails a bit as a reaction to the loss of her birth mother. We had tantrums and rebellions as well as a general bitchiness for a while. I was so proud of the way that everyone seemed to understand what she was going through and tried not to react to it. Then suddenly it stopped. She came to see me in my study one night and told me that Sister Marie had read her the riot act over a scrap she had with another girl which Livvie had broken up. However, a teacher saw it and reported it to the Headmistress who told her off in no uncertain terms.

I had had a chat by phone with Sister Marie, so I knew what was happening. I had not spoken to Hannah because I had a pressing piece of work to do myself so I'd had dinner and gone straight back to it. I'd noticed that nearly all the girl were a little subdued during dinner as if there was something going on between them but was too absorbed in my own world to worry about it. They knew they could always speak to me, well except that evening.

I was so intent on what I was doing that I didn't hear the first knock on my door, so a second harder one shocked me out of my concentration."Come in," I said automatically hoping it wasn't David wanting some specialised oven or something, in came a rather circumspect Hannah.

"Can I speak to you?"

"Oh, not now dear, I have to get this paper finished, it's important."

She just slunk out saying, "I'm not important, am I? I'm the prostitute's kid."

I picked up my pen again, I was doing some tricky calculations when I reran what she had said as she left. It was like a shell burst and jumped up and dashed off after her. She was nearly at the stairs when I caught up with her.

"Hannah, a moment please."

"I thought you were busy, you always are these days."

"No, I'm never too busy for my children."

"But I'm not am I, I'm the whore's daughter, like mother like daughter," the way she casually said this almost broke my heart.

"Look, come with me and we can talk this out."

"What about your important paper? I'm sure it's more important than me?"

"Nothing is more important than my children and you are one of them."

"But I'm not am I? I'm like that girl in school said, I'm the whore's kid."

"What girl?"

"Do you care?"

"Yes, very much." I wrapped her in a huge hug and she burst into tears. Danni came to see what was happening but went back to the dining room when she saw what was happening.

"What girl said that to you?" I asked her.

"Linda Cavendish."

"That's the girl you had the spat with?"

"Yes, but only cause she said that."

"Did you tell Sister Maria?"

"She didn't give me a chance to, according to Cavendish I just attacked her 'cause she looked at me funny."

"So what did Sister Maria say to you?"

"If I had to go and see her once more she'd suspend me."

"Not after I've spoken to her she won't and the Cavendishes had better take their daughter in hand or I'll get your dad to withdraw their overdraft."

"Right now let's get something straight, you're my daughter just as much as any of the others and no one is going to insult you like that while I'm still breathing." We had a nice hug and cuddled for quite a while before she went off to bed with the others. It was too late to ring the headmistress but I would insist on seeing her tomorrow and she'd better speak with the Cavendish parents very soon or she'd find a number of grants would be withdrawn. I was steaming and I decided against finishing my paper and went and had a cuppa instead ringing Simon and telling him why I hadn't finished it. I was in tears and he was upset and angry. "Sod, the paper and the meeting, if she ever says anything like that again I'll call in their mortgage."

It was nice to talk to him but I went to bed feeling exhausted yet I couldn't sleep. Tomorrow I was going to sort out that bloody school or die in the attempt.

The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3357 by Angharad Copyright© 2022 Angharad

---

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
~~~~~~~~~

Breakfast was fraught the next morning the girls perhaps picking up on my tension as I contemplated what I would say to Sister Maria. In all probability she would agree with everything I said but in case she didn't I was prepared to take retaliatory action.

Danni and Trish took the bus as I loaded everybody else into my Jag and we drove to the convent. It was quite crowded and there seemed to be a premium for parking spaces that morning, in fact, I had t wait until someone pulled out their 'Chelsea tractor' before I could find space for my car. We all piled out and I held some hands as we advanced across the playground. I happened to spot Sister Maria and asked if I could have a word with her, she looked at her watch and said it would have to be a quick one because she had a meeting in half an hour. I assured it would or alternatively I could pull the girls out instead.

"This is obviously of importance to you," she said rather pointedly.

"It is more important than you realise."

"Look, I have this meeting in half an hour it should be over by 10.30 could we talk then?"

"!0.30 it is, I shall see you then." I marched back to the car and felt frustrated that the head of steam I had building up had not been released and I was angry and aggressive when I got to my office about twenty minutes later.

"Who's taken your lollipop?" asked Diane after I bashed about and swore at things in my office. She placed a mug of tea on my desk.

"Why does there have to be something wrong?" I said pulling my laptop out of my bag and flinging the bag over my shoulder.

"Because even you aren't usually as bad tempered as this."

"Just watch me," I almost dared her.

"Cathy, what is the matter?"

"Just go and do your typing and leave me alone," I replied to her, I didn't want help I just wanted to thump a headmistress and a schoolgirl.

"I see, so it's either about Simon or the girls, or one of them. Am I right or am I right."

"Just leave my private life alone and do what your paid for," I said in high dudgeon.

"It's the girls or one of them."

I just frowned, "Why can't you mind your own business?" I threw back at her.

"One of the girls then, trouble in school or one of them not settling here, as you haven't been dashing off to the physics department or sent for anyone, it can't be Danielle or Trish, therefore it must be one of those in school. I doubt it's one of the younger ones so it has to be Livvie, Meems or Hannah. Seeing as you just flinched at me mention of Hannah's name it has to be her. Care to share?"

"It's not up for discussion," I said flatly.

"Okay, when the stress gets to you you'll regret this opportunity to talk."

"What are you on about?"

"You having a heart- attack or a stroke."

"Why is that important to you?"

"Because you're the best boss I ever had, you care about people and fight tooth and nail for them and you happen to be my friend despite all your failings."

"What failings?" I said loudly.

"How long have you got?"

"What?" I declared.

"See too quick to jump to conclusions, unless it's a scientific experiment, then you wait for it to end before forming half -cocked ideas about it."

"How dare you?" I snapped.

"Quite easily."

"You are close to impertinence."

"Must be losing my touch then, what's Hannah been up to now>"

"She was threatened with expulsion for fighting."

"What little Hannah? She's relatively harmless and usually quite calm, someone must have provoked her."

"They did," I said.

"It can't over something involving you so it is either something she did or her previous mother."

"You're like Sherlock bloody Holmes."

"I happen to like my boss and what upsets her unsettles me, I like an easy life so I try to keep you calm."

"I knew you were manipulative, but it's more than I suspected."

"Good secretary anticipates her boss, that's all it is."

"I didn't realise," was all I could say. It seemed I was the more academic of the two of us but she could read me like a book, it was like having a wife in work, no that was too horrid to contemplate.

"So what has Hannah been up to?"

"Some girl called her a 'Whore's Daughter'."

"Ah, now you rage makes sense."

"It was possibly a throw away but she reacted, so no they know what upsets her."

"It upsets me too."

"Of course it does, it's spiteful, it's meant to hurt."

I looked at my watch, "I have to go and have words with the headmistress."

"Hmm, good luck, just stay calm."

"Until I've buried the body I might be a little anxious."

She simply laughed and waved as I left. I drove straight to St Claire's parked the car and strode into the office.

"Ah, Lady Cameron, how can I help," said the school secretary.

"I have an appointment with the headmistress."

"Oh, her meeting has overrun, I'll tell her you're here." I nodded.

She made a short call and two minutes later the door opened and two parents and a girl appeared and walked away. "Sorry about that, please Lady C, come in, oh Susie two coffees please.

I waited for the coffee to arrive before saying anything and took a sip of mine. "That wasn't the Cavendish family?"

"Good guess."

"Had I known that I'd have given them a piece of my mind."

"Lots of problems that girl, I really do worry about her sometimes."

"You know she called Hannah a whore's daughter, it's why Hannah slapped her."

"No I didn't but it doesn't surprise me."

"But you know Hannah isn't easily provoked."

"I do," she replied.

"So why did you threaten to suspend her when the other girl is the problem?"

"I'm not telling you this but little Linda Cavendish has real problems, this is the third school in six months."

"Why id she pick on my Hannah and why did she know about Hannah's original mother?"

"The straight answer is she didn't it was a generalised insult which struck gold. It will be a bugger to try and get her to forget it."

"If you don't I shall withdraw my girls."

"That's a bit of an overreaction, isn't it."

"You didn't have to deal with an upset adolescent all evening."

"No I do it all day, every day and it can be anything up to five hundred of the little buggers."

"Only five hundred, my day job encompasses several thousand of the acne and angst brigade."

"I thought yours were all supposed to be adults?"

"They don't appear to read the script."

"Oh, bad luck."

"Yes, if it wasn't for bad luck I'd have none at all."

"Boom boom," she finished off my punchline.

"So what do we do about the Cavendish girl?"

"You don't have to do anything," she said pointedly.

"I do if it impacts my girls again."

"It won't."

"What's wrong with her?"

"You know I can't tell you it's all confidential."

I sat for a moment and thought about the girl and I saw her in my mind's eye, it wasn't pretty. "When was she abused?"

"Who said she was?"

"She was by an uncle who later killed himself."

"How do know that?"

"He got away with it for five years possibly more, didn't he?"

"Where did you get this from?"

"I have my sources," I said as I didn't know if she knew of my alternative lifestyle other than healing.

"Oh, " she said but commented no further.

"What about therapy?"

"She's seen umpteen and resist them all because she felt it was her fault it happened."

"It's never the fault of the victim especially a child one."

"We both know that but she doesn't or doesn't want to."

"How much are you able to do for her?"

"She sees the school counsellor, it's all we can do"

"Any progress?"

"Perhaps a little, it's a long job."

"May I see her?"

"No, I can't let that happen."

"I think I could help her."

"How?"

"I think my healing could help."

"But I can't let you do anything."

"My body is telling me I could do something."

"Sorry, Cathy, I just can't let it happen."

"What if she had to come and see you and I just happened to be waiting to see you and she just happened to sit next to me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Just send for her and be unable to see her immediately."

"What?"

"I'll be outside, waiting for you."

"what?"

"Do it."

I went out to the secretary's office, "When Linda comes make her sit next to me but imply Sister Maria is on the phone or something so we both have to wait, then don't take any notice of what else happens."

"Um, okay, I think." I was seated apparently waiting and twiddling my thumbs as Linda Cavendish arrived.

"Sister Maria sent for me."

"Oh, yes, Linda do take a seat she won't be long.

The girl sat beside me and I felt the energy moving between us. "Gosh, I feel hot," she said and promptly collapsed in her chair. I Placed my hands over her head and in a moment I had tuned into her memory, it wasn't a pretty sight and I erased memories of the abuse like it was page after page of it. Just the abuse was erased and the way her mind remembered it afterwards. I told her she had had a great weight lifted off her shoulders and no longer would she be oppressed by it and her memories of her childhood would be happy ones. I felt the energy flow stop and told her wake up in five minutes, then I left.

I knew that my healing could only have good consequences because it comes with love and from the feminine principle so I didn't need to wait around to see how successful it was.

Later that evening Hannah came to see me, "Did you say anything to Linda Cavendish because she bumped into me and I thought she wanted more trouble and instead she apologised for what she said earlier."

"Oh, that's good, maybe she was her period and was just prickly."

"Yeah, maybe that's what it was," she sort of agreed with me. "Actually, she seems quite nice."

"Oh, good," I said as she left me smiling smugly to myself.