Author's note:
This is a rewrite of the story N21.
A lot has changed, although the idea is much the same. I hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 1.1

"Sis, you need to try it, at the very least.”

We were in Carla’s lab, and she was showing me a belt buckle that was quite flashy. It looked like something that would have been worn by the ancient singer, Elvis Presley.

“Why would I wish to experience the memories of a madman?”

“He saw himself differently than we did, Rose.”

“I rest my case.” I shook my head. “He killed everyone on Earth, and I’m supposed to be sympathetic and see how he saw himself?”

“He didn't kill everyone. He died a long time before the missiles hit. Fredrik and Paula launched them."

I was furious. “Carla,” I said in a soft and menacing voice, “Paula is our sister, and you stand there accusing her of genocide?”

“That’s not what happened.”

"So, what did happen?”

Carla had been on the ship when it left the Earth, and I had hoped that she gained some insight into her hero, but it seemed that not much had changed.

“Have you ever taken a minute to consider that maybe you were the ones who were wrong?”

I stared at her, completely unsure of how to respond. We were in space, speeding through the galaxy, because of what Amos Goodwin had done. My sister was trying to convince me that Amos was a nice guy, with only the best interests of the human race at heart. I looked at that face, so much like mine, hoping to find something that said she was joking or mad. Nothing seemed apparent.

“Okay, Rose. You wouldn't trust Amos. I can understand that, but he's not here. Can you trust me? Do you think I'd try to get you to do something like this if I didn't have a good reason?"

She was seated on a lab stool, and I was looking down at her. I realized that somewhere in my shock, I had stood. I slowly sat back down, considering.

I remembered playing with her when she was a little girl. I had reached seventy-three years old by the time my parents had her. Our elder sister, Paula, was about the same amount older than me. Somewhere in her teens, she had become an unfailing champion of Amos after he had become the leader of our government.

Finally, I agreed to experience the memories.

Carla placed the garish belt buckle on the counter, then stepped away. I moved over to the counter and stopped, terrified at what this thing signified. I slowly reached out, but I couldn't touch it. I brought my hand back to my side and found myself dizzy. I knew I was silly, but I couldn't imagine seeing what this monster had in his head. Why was my sister so calm about it?

We had come up with the idea for the crystals as a method of storing our memories. With the advancement in nanobots to keep a person healthy, basically forever, there was not enough room in a person's brain to hold all the memories they may experience. They stored memories in their crystalline matrix, so even after a person died, their memories lived on.

I sensed her come up behind me and place her hand gently on my shoulder. I was crying, and she urged me to sit down on the stool. I did not want to know what made that insane person do what he had done, but I also wanted to show my sister that I loved and trusted her.

Slowly, I moved my right fingers to the thing. As I gazed at the crystals, they shifted color, as they all did when they were active. There was a black fog that swirled through the dominant red, as if something evil was there, waiting to envelop the lifeblood of anyone who dared touch it.

On my right wrist, I wore my crystals in a bracelet that shone in their own colors, completely different than his. They were emerald green, turquoise, and cobalt blue with a red swirl that moved slowly through the other colors.

I took a deep breath and extended my index finger. It brushed the crystal.

My entire world turned on end as I seemed to fall into an incredibly deep gorge with scenes from Amos’ life playing out on either side. I landed on my back, and it seemed as if the wind was knocked out of me.

I came around slowly. I stood up and looked around. It seemed that I was still in a dark hole, with no way out. I could see my body, but I didn’t know where any light was coming from.

The walls around me were now a featureless black. Not some black material, rather just… black. There was no way to describe it. I reached out, and couldn't tell how far I had to move my hand to touch it. I supposed that if I went far enough, my hand would contact it, but I didn't want to. I felt that the blackness was evil, plain and simple.

I wanted out, and I tried to move my hand away from the crystal in the lab. This experience was too much, and I couldn't handle it. I couldn't find my real hand! My control was limited to what I was able to see here in this hole of evil.

I closed my eyes, and I could feel my legs give way. I'm not sure how much time passed, but I became aware that someone was watching me. The presence was one with which I had grown up.

“Hello, Eugene." I shuddered at hearing the voice. The name was one I hadn't thought of in years. It was mine before I became who I was now, but only one person ever addressed me that way.

I opened my eyes and found myself face to face with Amos Goodwin.

I glared. It could have been for a split second, or a million years. I had no idea. “Amos.” I wouldn’t even benefit him with a hello.

“What do you think of my home, my dear?”

“I’m not your dear.”

“No, I suppose you're not.” He turned and walked a few feet away, then turned back.

I suddenly realized what was happening. “You’re not a memory. You’re talking to me.” The terror somehow increased. “You’re real.” My voice came out in a whisper as I said the last.

He gave a slight smile. “Do you know what I always wanted as a child, Eugene?”

I shook my head. I didn’t know, and I didn't think I wanted to.

He seemed to be tired, giving a sigh as he spoke. “You.”

My stomach churned as I considered what he was saying. “What do you mean?”

“Just what I said.”

“Let me rephrase that, Amos. How did you ‘want me’?”

“Do I have to explain, Eugene?"

I stormed up to him. Whether he was just an image or not, I was ready to scratch his eyes out of that smug, white face. “Don’t you call me that name again! No one calls me that! It isn’t my name.”

Amos was condescending. "Yet you respond to it… Rose."

I felt faint. It was almost worse to hear the bastard use my chosen name.

“Oh well. It doesn't matter. Soon you will respond the way I want you to." He turned back to the blackness. "Come," he said, holding out his hand.

I didn’t move.

“I said, come.” He snapped his fingers.

“I’m not a dog.”

Again, he turned back. "No, you're not. You fail to realize, however, that I rule here. What you see around us is your new home. You are what I want you to be."

The blackness behind him started moving. It enveloped him and continued advancing toward me.

I felt something in my mind. Something soft, that seemed to brush ever so gently against my consciousness. It was reassuring, and though I could sense no thought, I knew it was someone else, not Amos. It seemed to say that it was there and would help protect me. Had Carla touched the crystal too? I had no idea, and no time to consider anything else, as the blackness enveloped me -- evil, cold, devilish, blackness.

I screamed.

Whatever had touched my mind, swarmed in, and it seemed to embrace me. I still had no idea who it was, but I clung to the hope that Carla had joined me.

Suddenly, the black parted, and I saw a scene playing out before my eyes. Amos wasn't there, but as I looked down at myself, I realized that I was Amos. I tried to scream, but no sound came out. I was on a playground, watching as John and Eugene were playing a game of some kind. We were all in the third grade, and I had no idea how to play, but John threw some type of ball to Eugene, who caught it in some oversized glove. I brought my pale white hand up where I could see it. I was small for a man, and I knew I couldn't go into the sunlight for long. I would burn.

The scene changed. I was home and watching as my father and mother were having fun with my half brother, Fredrik. I hated him. He had everything that I didn't. I felt the hate overwhelm every other emotion I tried to feel.

I saw memory after memory as I grew up, always trying to feel something other than my growing hatred of everyone. The hate was worse, however, when I saw John Carlson. Especially when Eugene was around.

When I was fifty-three years old, I walked into a fast-food restaurant and saw John, Perl, and Eugene, sitting at a table. Eugene beckoned me over. I considered joining them, but John was there. All I felt was hatred, unlike any I had ever felt. I sat down where I could only see Carlson's back.

John always hated me, and he monopolized people. He was so deceptive! He had this fake smile that always fooled people.

I hated him just as much as he hated me, though. I would show him! I let my eye stray down to the table where Carlson was drawing something, but I couldn't make it out what it was.

He showed it to them both, and I could see the awe in their eyes as he explained it. That fake smile and supposed care for everyone. He had them completely under his thumb.

The three got up and left the restaurant. As they walked by me, Eugene smiled at me. I felt a bit better for a moment, then Carlson smiled as he walked by. The bastard was rubbing it in! He had them both, and I had nothing.

When they passed by me outside, I got up and picked up the napkin he had drawn on. It showed a sketch of a space station. He was an engineer, and he designed that type of thing. I softly laughed as I thought about what I could do with this.

The emotions faded as I felt something embrace me again. This time, I heard words, although not a voice. Don’t let it take over. You are Rose -- Not Amos. I’ll help you resist.

I tried to ask who this voice was, but before I could form any words in my mind, I was Amos, and somewhere else.

I was seated at a workbench in my lab. The hatred had come back full force, and I was working with it fueling me. Everything I did was accompanied by a thought of how I was always treated. I was an autistic albino, and that made everyone hate me.

I no longer had any desire to be friends with anyone. Eugene and Perl had spent so much time with John, and he utterly brainwashed them.

My parents were no better. They had allowed Fredrik to monopolize their time and feelings. I had a way to take care of them, however. What I was building would accomplish that. And much more.

I finally finished my programming and pressed enter on my keyboard. It took very little time before my printer finished. I couldn't see what it had made, but I knew it was in a culture I had placed in a Petri dish. I had designed them to have an organic skin, with a simple pair of magnets that would provide power from Brownian motion. It wouldn't take long before it started multiplying. I did not doubt that it would work. After all, I had designed it!

I went over to my fridge and got something to drink, then came back and gazed down at the dish. There was nothing that I could see yet, but I knew it wouldn't be long before I could.

The next morning when I woke up, I went to my lab. I took the Petri dish out of the incubator and inspected it. As I expected, my printer had done a remarkable job. There was a gelatinous mix inside that had ingested all at the culture.

I knew there was little chance that anyone would have my exact DNA, so I scanned it into my computers. Then, I instructed it to ignore anyone who matched it, except to provide health. I injected the bots into my body and waited five days. My hate was fueling my actions now, and there was no more love for anyone. My parents had lied to me. The woman who had claimed to be my mother wasn't. She was Fred's mother, but not mine.

For the first time in several days, I opened the door to my lab secure in the knowledge that I had enough bots to infect two people. I went into the kitchen where my parents would fix their breakfast and put the mix onto the top three plates in the cupboard. I took the top one and fried up some eggs and bacon, plus a few extra ingredients. When my parents came in, they seemed impressed that I had made them breakfast. I enjoyed my breakfast.

I watched fascinated as first my "mother," then my father began to look queasy. A few minutes later, they both slipped from their chairs onto the floor. I happily touched them both with some memory crystals, which quickly started changing colors.

I was mesmerized at the sight of my parent's heads slowly separating from their bodies. I had programmed the bots to make the incisions slowly so that it was excruciating.

I saw my father’s eyes widen as he realized that he was very near death. My faux mother started to scream, but that was quickly cut off as her neck spine severed.

When the severing was complete, I glanced at the crystals in my hands and smiled. I would have fun with those later.

That night, I went into my lab, where the crystals were on the workbench. I smiled at them. Mother and Father were in there.

I had programmed the bots to transfer everything they found in the brain into the crystals. I expected that in so doing, they had moved the 'soul' of both of them into their matrix. I would soon find out.

I reached out to my "mother's" crystals and carefully touched them.

I dove into her memories and was gratified to see that she was, indeed, there. Her life was laid out before me.

I had known that my biological mother wasn't the dark-skinned woman who raised me. A simple genetic test showed that, but I wasn't sure who was.

I saw that, on a trip to visit Fredrik, my father had an affair with one of my brother's young students. She was a Nordic girl, very light, and only seventeen years old.

I was disgusted.

When he got home, he said nothing to my 'mother', although it wasn't long before she found out and pushed a meeting. They arranged that my 'mother' would raise me, and there would be no more contact for me or my father with her. In exchange, my birth mother would receive continual updates about me.

I worked hard for the next two years to create a situation where I was elected leader of Earth. My bots made it a foregone conclusion that I would be as people loved the effects of becoming themselves at the end of puberty and staying there.

I was able to arrange a meeting with my biological mother after that, with no problem. She was somewhat reluctant to agree, but I applied just a bit of pressure, and she complied. I wasn't sure what the outcome of the meeting was going to be, but there were a few options.

She entered my palace in Hawaii, and the guards quickly ushered into my office.

“Well, Mother. How long were you planning on keeping your existence from me?” I challenged immediately.

“It was not my idea to keep you isolated from me, Amos,” she said. “I could understand the wishes of your Father and Mother…”

I cut her off. “She’s not my mother. You are my biological mother!”

“Be that as it may, Amos, I could understand their wishes. I was a one night stand, and other people didn't need to know about me."

“Why didn’t you raise me then?”

“I could never have given you as much as your father did, and he was not going to leave his wife. They had been married for over a century.”

“Yet he had an affair with you. Why do you think that was?” My voice was deadly calm, and I had decided what I was going to do.

“I don't know. I guess your father needed a diversion. People sometimes get bored. Clearly, he didn't want to let go of what he already had."

“Obviously.”

I stood up, indicating that the meeting was over, and saw her to the door.

Once I was confident that she was home, I programmed her bots to make life miserable for her. Just mentally at first, however. I didn't want her to go to a doctor yet.

Just like my parents, or Carlson, she cared only for herself. I wasn’t going to put up with her.

I wrote some new programming and then tested it by putting it into my biological mother. I then summoned her to my palace again.

She sat down, and we began talking. I wanted to get a clear idea of what the bots could do with a person. After we had talked about the last couple of months, I suggested that we go for a walk outside.

We climbed the stairs to the top of the building. From there, a door opened to the ridge of the former volcanic cone.

We stepped out, and my mother was immediately affected by the daylight. Her bots started to change her body before my eyes. She became a small child, losing mass onto the ground, which the bots immediately cleaned. She ran to the edge of a cliff, climbed over the railing, and dove off.

The bots had done precisely as I wanted.

They were a success.

I was ready to distribute the nanobots to the population in general now, but I wanted one more thing. I wanted insurance. I refused to let the rest of the people win, so I intended to prepare a device which would I could activate if I needed to.

I went to my lab and started to build another type of bot. This one would simply eat any carbon-based life form to create more of itself. Because the power generation units in the bots used a magnet, they also needed to produce iron and steel. For this, they would eat refined metal.

I designed these bots to explore the entire biosphere looking for food. If none was, they would go dormant until more arrived. If they produced enough bots, they would then establish a network between them to become intelligent. They would use the mental patterns of any crystals they found on the planet. Still, they were programmed to give my mental patterns dominance over all others, so I would always be in control if I had to activate my fail-safe.

I needed people to help me, and I needed test subjects. The test subjects weren't as necessary as other people or things, but I needed workers.

I was under no illusions that people would help me as I wanted, so I decided I would take what I needed. I programmed some different bots for my purposes and went to a small city in what used to be the southwest United States. I set my craft down in the center of the town and stepped out.

These bots were let loose into the town as soon as I opened my door, so I was looking forward to programming them.

I had put a supply in myself as well. These were to keep me healthy and young, but I gave them a different job as well. If they found themselves in a person with different DNA than me, they would adjust to the new DNA, then start reproducing at a high rate. This process would increase speed geometrically because every subsequent bot would do the same. Once they had a healthy colony in the person, usually about four hours after the initial infestation, they would keep them healthy until I issued my orders.

In Las Vegas, New Mexico, the people recognized me, and I used it to my advantage. I started shaking hands. I didn't enjoy touching other people, but my new supply of bots would take care of any germs these people carried. Even so, I only wanted the touch of one other person, and he wasn’t here.

It wasn't long before they seemed to be wearing down. I knew that supplying the raw material for ten pounds of bots would suck a lot out of them. By necessity, they would use fat and muscle mass.

I pulled a remote out of my pocket and had it send a signal to all of the bots, and the people started grouping around me.

As soon as they were there, I pressed another button, and they froze in place. The only motion was their breathing and occasional blink.

I went around the population, assigning purposes to each person. Some would be domestic help, some security, some builders, some engineers. One particularly attractive young boy, I enhanced to be my toy each night. He looked much like Gene, and with a few modifications, the bots were able to make his DNA match. They also instilled in him a desire to be as feminine as possible.

It wasn’t the same, but with the correct DNA, I could stand it.

It wasn't long before I started working on my plans to get revenge on Carlson.

I went to the safe in my lab and took out the picture of the station that Carlson had drawn for Eugene and Perl. I knew that he was working on getting a team ready to build the station, so I took some of my engineers and readied them to talk to Carlson.

I didn't want him to know my plans yet, but when I finished, I was going to take great pleasure in horrifying him.

I set up a dummy corporation in a few minutes and then sent out my engineers. They purchased the rights to the station, and Carlson never knew what had happened.

I readied my builders, and they built two stations. One was smaller, and I named it N21, which was what Carlson's original blueprints named it. The second one, called N22, used almost the same plans, though it was substantially larger. Rather than twenty-four bays, it had thirty, and each bay was longer. They could each hold fifteen missiles armed with twenty independent guided canisters filled with my doomsday bots. I would not lose.

Suddenly, a feeling of dizziness and exhaustion overwhelmed me, and I was Rose again. Amos and I were standing in the black room. My breathing was heavy, and I had a horrible headache. Absorbing so much of Amos' memories exhausted me. I had to get through this and out of the memories, however.

A moment later, Carla was standing beside me. It had been her! I was ecstatic that she had helped me keep my sense of self throughout this hell.

Chapter 2

Amos glared at me. He tried to retake control of the situation, but I was very determined. Carla was helping as well, and between us, we were able to keep control.

"If you feel the way about me that you claim, why don't you look at my memories?"

He stared at me for a moment. "Do they have Carlson in them?" He asked.

"Of course," I answered.

"Then I'm not interested," He told me.

I was confused. "Then, what's your purpose in keeping me here?"

"Control."

Carla spoke up. "So you aren't interested in Rose at all. It's all about you!"

"Shut up," he screamed at her. You are mine and have been for years. You serve me!"

"Really? You've never even noticed me in here. I hid all those years."

I was surprised at that. How could Carla be both in her body and here? It didn't make sense to me.

I couldn't focus on that right now. I had to keep up my concentration as Carla couldn't control the situation on her own.

"Why?" I asked.

He turned back to me.

"Why don't you want to look at my memories?"

"You are brainwashed by Carlson. I've seen the effects."

"What?" I was indignant. "John has never brainwashed me."

"Of course he has. You would never have married him if he hadn't."

"Why?"

"He has had control of you since you were children. We were friends, but then you suddenly became friends with Carlson, and our friendship ended.

"Is that what you think?" I asked him. "I tried to include you, but you wanted nothing more to do with me."

He stared at me for a moment. "Show me."

We dove into my memories this time and went back to school with him experiencing my emotions. He saw things from my point of view this time. He saw that I had tried to include him many times. Even when John showed us the drawings of his station, he saw that Amos was there, and when I beckoned Amos over, John's face was sad when he refused to join us.

Amos was confused, and he pulled us from one memory to another of times with John. It was true that on a fishing trip, I was happy not to have Amos along. And when John built me a kite for my thirteenth birthday, my memories shocked Amos.

I had never seen a kite before. I didn't even know what it was, but I went out to a field near our homes with him. He told me to hold it until the string was taut, then to let go. He took off running, and I watched as the kite flew up and up. It caught in the wind, and John stopped running. I ran to where he was and watched. He handed me the spool of string, and as I took it, there was too much slack, and the kite started dropping. John grabbed onto my hands and pulled out the slack, and the kite went back up.

I was thrilled, not so much in the kite, although it was the vehicle I was using to fuel my imagination. There, I was not a thirteen-year-old boy, but a girl, in a sundress with long hair blowing in the breeze. My boyfriend had his arms around me, holding onto my hands and guiding them as we had a wonderful time together.

Amos pulled us back to my very young days, and we sped through my memories until we found the point he wanted.

He pulled us out of the dive, and we were once again separate and facing each other. "You are a girl," he said flatly.

I giggled slightly. "Looks that way doesn't it," I said, gesturing at my body.

He scowled. "You always have been."

"Yes," I told him. "I have always been."

He retook control, and we dove through my life. I could feel him soaking up what I perceived as he experienced my life.

I was in my restaurant, where I loved to play with different recipes. I was working on an idea where I did a pork marinade in lime juice kicked with several types of hot peppers, and I saw John stick his head in the door to my kitchen, and I smiled at him.

He gave me his typical cocky grin, then went to sit down.

I dished up three of my day's specials, put them on a tray, and set them in the dumbwaiter to carry them to the second floor.

By the time I arrived on the second floor, they had been carried out to the table that was always reserved for John, Perl, and me. It was in a special alcove, and my hosts were told that they were not to use that table unless absolutely necessary and then only with my direct approval.

From that table, I could see all of the restaurant below, and on the second-floor balcony. There was one-way glass between us and the rest of the dining area. The lights in the alcove would have to be turned up, and that was never allowed.

We started to eat, and both John and Perl commented that they enjoyed the pork chops I had made. French Fries were not on my menu, but I knew that they were John’s favorite type of potato, followed closely by tater tots. He loved fried potatoes of any kind, actually, so I made fries for him every night, as both of them had a standing invite to dine with me. John always did, unless he was on a date, which he rarely was.

I always wondered why that was. He was a handsome man, but the only dating he did was to take Perl out occasionally, telling me that they weren't an item.

He urged me to take her out as well, and I did once, but it felt so strange. We had a good time, but it was more like a girls night out than a date.

I glanced out at the restaurant, and I saw the familiar white head of Amos enter one of the expensive rooms on the far side of the second floor.

John and Perl saw me looking to the other side, and saw him too.

“I’ll never understand how he managed to become the head of the government,” Perl said.

“He's brilliant," I said quietly.

“Being smart doesn’t get you elected,” John told me.

They were seated across the table from me, and I gave them a sad smile, saying, "I always felt bad for him growing up. It was like one of those – oh, what did they call them – savants. I've tried to get him to join us time and time again, but he just doesn't want to."

“Well, I’m glad he doesn’t want to. I’m fed up with his policies,” Perl remarked. “I might be tempted to tell him what I think.”

John was looking at me strangely. “Do you have a thing for him?”

“What?! Of course not! I’m not homosexual,” I told him vehemently.”

“Just checking,” he said. “I mean, it wouldn’t matter if you were -- I’d just be surprised if you were interested in him.”

“I don't like his policies any better than Perl."

“I just call ‘em as I see ‘em,” she said flippantly.

I didn’t respond to her. I was giving an interested stare at John. “So tell me, John. Who do you see me with?”

He didn't say anything but kept my eye as he very slowly took a bite of a French fry.

I raised an eyebrow and resumed eating myself.

Perl snorted at us and looked across the room again. A waitress walked in and set down his food. I noticed that she was showing a bit more leg than usual, and had actually opened her top to show some cleavage. Amos, however, didn't react. He never did.

“It wouldn’t matter if you were interested or not,” Perl commented. “Val is a looker, but he doesn’t give a damn.”

John was still looking as well, but I think he might have been looking at Val, not Amos. “So Gene isn’t gay. Are you?”

“No. Bi.”

We both turned to stare at her.

“And when were you going to tell us?” I asked. Of course, it didn’t matter to either of us, but we were surprised.

“It never came up,” she said as she ate the last piece of food from her plate, then pulled her dessert in front of her. She loved cheesecake, and I never understood how she could eat as much as she did. She did work out, however, as she owned a very lucrative security business.

I hadn’t finished everything on my plate, but my dessert of choice was there as well; pecan pie. I had a bit of a sweet tooth, and my mother had taught me to make a lot of candies and desserts while I was growing up. For a sweet pie, you just couldn’t do any better than a pecan pie.

Amos finished his meal before we left our alcove. After he did, he spent several minutes staring at the glass we were hidden behind. Once, when I invited him to join us, I had told him where we ate, and I now felt like he was looking directly at me. It made my skin crawl. We knew what had happened to the town of Las Vegas. I couldn’t believe he would transform people like that. It just seemed so sick.

I had genuinely liked him until he did that. I knew he didn’t have any social skills, but that was farther than anything I had ever anticipated.

That night, I went to bed thinking about Amos. What made him do those things. I couldn’t understand it, but I knew that my admiration for him was gone. I couldn’t wait until he was overthrown, and I knew it wouldn’t be very long. He had brought it on himself.

I was jarred awake by the sound of my front door, then the bedroom door breaking open. I was quickly handcuffed and taken onto a transport. My abductors pushed me out in the middle of Diamond Head along with thousands of people. We listened to a speech that Amos gave, in which he offered amnesty for those who agreed to abide by his rules. Many took the offer, but I knew they would be killed.

The rest of us, still numbering in the thousands we're transported to the station. I looked around for John, but I didn’t see him. My parents were there, as was Perl, but my older brother Paul, and my sister Carla were not.

We were horrified when the guards ejected those of us with a medical background, right before they left for Earth.

Shortly after, I felt vaguely sick when the station started to accelerate in a different direction. We were leaving the orbit of Earth.

John had been led in shortly before the engines fired. He and an electrical engineer, Marc Dodson, were working on the door, trying to get it unsealed, so I joined them.

Finally, John got the wheel to move. He stopped just before the locking dogs freed. He looked up at us. "Well?" He asked.

The people repeated the question throughout the bay.

"Open it," I said. There were many echoes of agreement from the crowd.

"What if they evacuated the air?" He asked.

"Is there any way to remedy that situation from here?" I asked in return.

"The hatch isn't electrically operated," Marc told me.

"So if they left it open," I said, not finishing my statement.

He nodded.

"What is they didn't?" I asked.

"I still can't do anything from here. There isn't any access to the wiring from here. All of the circuitry for the air circulation is on the other side of the circular corridor."

"So you're saying we have nothing to lose, " said my father from behind me.

Again, Marc nodded.

"Open it," my father said.

"Yes, Sir."

John spun the wheel the rest of the way. The dogs released, and he sighed as the door didn't burst open. He pushed it out and stepped through, followed by Marc. The corridor was dark, and I saw a hand torch come on. I was a bit scared, though I tried not to show it, but I didn't step through the hatch.

A few minutes later, lights came on; then, I stepped through. John and Marc were disappearing around the curve of the circle. I walked back into the bay and went to help some people.

I was nervous as hell, but I tried to steady myself, as I went around trying to help calm people. I wasn't sure how long it had been, but I noticed people looking expectantly at the door. I turned, and John and Marc were back. I went over to hear what they had found, and John announced to the room, "We shouldn't have any problems surviving. It appears that we were meant to."

I started to ask how, but he held up a hand. "We need to set up a few things. We're going to need someone to take charge. To be the leader for all of us, I would like to recommend Gene."

"What?!?"

John ignored my outburst and told everyone, "He can think and act rationally, even under pressure. We need that in a leader."

"Why not you? Or Marc?"

He shook his head as he answered me. "We will both be needed to maintain the station. You are the logical choice to be the commander."

"Not from where I'm standing," I told him.

He turned to the crowd. "All in favor?"

Almost everyone raised their hands.

I started to object, but John grabbed my arm and pulled me into the corridor. "I would offer to lead," he explained," but I really do need to maintain this station. It wasn't meant to operate with engines. It has thrusters, and they are all the stress it's designed to handle. I know and trust you. Please."

I mulled it over for a few minutes, then nodded. I didn't trust myself to speak.

Amos, Carla, and I sped up. We hurried through the memories of the building of our community, and the following year. Somewhere during that time, John discovered that the engines, while powerful, kept the station, or rather, the ship, accelerating at a rate the superstructure could handle. In that year, we arrived at the edge of the galaxy, then the engines separated from the ship and fell away. We would coast from then on.

Again, I felt exhausted and dizzy as we separated. We pulled back to the black room again.

This time Amos said nothing, so I asked, "you seem to have changed somewhat. Why?"

"I'm reconsidering what to do."

I started to see a glimmer of hope. Did all this really rest on me? "What are you considering?"

"For the first time in my life, I'm unsure." He looked at me, and I realized that there was some emotion in his eyes that I hadn't seen since we were children. The hate had left, and in its place was something that appeared to be confusion.

I had learned that confusion was not desirable in him. Any choice he made could be as bad or even worse than what we had seen before.

I looked at my sister, and she seemed to recognize it too.

I pulled us into a dive again. I was going to take Amos into the horrors he had caused, whether he liked it or not. He was going to experience my dreams and my frustrations. He would see his own actions from my perspective.

We went to the beginning of what he considered fun. His program in the ship had slammed several cargo doors shut on people, cutting them into multiple pieces. After a year as the commander of these people, I had gotten to know many of them. I still didn't know all fifteen thousand, two hundred ninety-eight of them, but I was working on that.

There were many horrors that I let him feel as I did. And through it all, he saw that I was concerned for those under my charge. I showed him that I took responsibility for them.

I pulled us out right before the full extent of the bots was released, and I wouldn't take him any further.

"Why did you stop?" he asked.

"Wasn't that enough?"

"Amos, beyond that, is something personal that you don't need to see," Carla supplied.

He shook his head. "We have seen parts of each others lives that were extremely personal. You understand the feelings that I had for you, Rose. I have decided to let you go to live your life with Carlson because of what I've seen. I had no idea how much hurt I had caused."

"I made a huge mistake, Amos."

He cocked his head. "Why do you say that?" He asked.

"I focused on myself. Not my people."

"Show me," he commanded.

I did.

We dove, and I was on the bridge. We were well into the second year of our trip to nowhere when things suddenly changed. John, Marc, and Perl were there with me. Suddenly Perl shot up from the computer where she had been working. She spun around, and a look of horror covered her face.

I saw that, but I was scared as well. I was scared of my friends. All three of them were frightening me for some reason. I was closest to the door, and I started to back toward it. I had to get out of there! Away from them. I didn't know why, just that I did!

I had almost made it out of the room when Perl bolted. She ran to my right, and I tried to move out of her way, but her hand touched mine. I spun away, and she fled out the door.

My world continued spinning as I felt like every bit of my body was torn apart. It was excruciating! A moment later, the pain disappeared, along with all my senses, and I seemed to be floating. I'm not sure how long it was until sensation returned, but it couldn't have been long. John and Marc were still staring at me. They backed away, and I took advantage of their fear and ran.

I ran to a storage closet and hid myself away and took stock. My body had changed. No longer was I a male. It was evident to me that I was now a female. I looked down at myself, and my emotions were a jumbled mess.

On the one hand, I was scared crazy about the change. It was the bots inside me, obviously. They were the only rational explanation. On the other hand, I was elated. I finally had what I had always wanted. I felt like I was now myself.

My only problem was that my clothes didn't fit anymore. My pants were tight around my hips but loose around my waist. The act of running had pulled them down a bit. My belt wouldn't tighten anymore, so I took some wire off a shelf and discarded the belt. I threaded the wire through the belt loops and tied it. The pants scrunched up, but at least they'd get me back to my apartment.

My shirt hung loose around my stomach, but I had burst a button right over my breasts. It felt good to say that, even if only in my mind. I had breasts! At the moment they were a nuisance, but I had them!

On the way to the closet, I had thrown a shoe. I started to giggle at the thought. I wasn't a horse! I sat down on the floor of the closet, hoping to get my emotions under control. Instead, I heard and felt a rip right at my butt. Lovely! This was just what I needed! I was happy about the new me, but why all the curves?

I started to cry at my predicament. I had my breasts peaking through a shirt with a missing button, and a ripped open backside in my pants. Plus, I had to get home through a station with lots of men, and they would all be looking at me! They'd see my breasts and my ass!

I was scared to death of men! The only man I wanted to see me was… I suddenly realized that while I had some of what I'd always wanted, I didn't have it all. Not by a long shot. There was a part of me that longed for John. It was an ache that I couldn't get out of my heart. But I was scared of him. Not just a little bit. No, this was a cold, irrational fear that didn't seem to come from anything. It was just there!

I sat there for a long time, and eventually, the light dimmed. It had been about three PM when the changes happened. I'd been huddled in this closet for seven hours, and I had to get home, so I reached down and removed my one remaining shoe. I'd been so terrified that I hadn't even thought about it until that moment. I stood up, opened the door a crack, and glanced out. Carefully, I eased out of the closet and started down the corridor.

Suddenly I heard someone around the curve, and I broke into a run. I hurried through the connecting tube, and out of the command center.

I stopped Amos, Carla, and myself for a moment. I knew what came next, and I didn't want Amos to experience it. He didn't need to see my discovery of my new self.

“Why did you stop us?” Amos demanded again.

“Because you don’t need to see what happens next.”

He didn’t push, for which I was grateful.

“I know what I programmed into the bots. What happened during those changes?"

I sighed. I really didn't want to talk about a lot of things, particularly since it was all based on physical changes and sex.

Every change brought more heartache. Even my relationship with John, although it blossomed into our eventual marriage, was loaded with questions.

Where I took him next was the death of my friend, Perl.

I was in my apartment, sitting down to my morning cup of coffee. I took a sip and closed my eyes as I felt the caffeine coursing through my body. I always started a day like this. As a male, caffeine affected me, but it didn't feel like this.

We were about two months into the time of fear. I still was afraid of John, but I wanted to get to know him like I never had before.

I pushed those thoughts away. I didn’t need them right now.

I moved my coffee mug off to the side and touched the tabletop in a particular spot. The surface changed from cherry wood to a screen showing reports from departments onboard the ship.

The first one was from John. I stared at the screen. The thoughts I had just pushed away came back immediately. I sighed and was about to touch a different report when I received a beep on my phone. I picked it up and looked.

Oh, good grief! It was John! I answered it, holding my breath.

“Rose, I need you to come to the command level now." His voice sounded strange.

“What is it?” I asked. “You know I never go there.”

“You need to now. There’s been a death. I’ll clear the way for you.” Now I recognized the odd sound in his voice. It was anguish.

“I’ll be right there,” I said, mystified.

I forgot about the reports and my coffee and quickly changed, then I hurried out of my apartment building. When I got to the bridge access corridor, I saw something partway through it. John was there, and he blocked my way.

“No!” he said forcefully.

“What's going on?" I asked. "First, you insist that I'm needed, then you won't let me near the scene!"

“It’s Perl,” he said simply.

I stared, then pushed by him, not realizing the significance and consequence of my action.

I got closer and simply collapsed to my knees. Perl's body was lying where it fell, but her head was about five feet down the corridor, resting on its left side, its short blonde hair turning a rusty red from the blood collecting in it.

I turned my head to one side and tried to empty my stomach.

I felt someone gently grasp my upper arms and help me to my feet. Instinctively, I buried my head in John’s chest and cried. “Why was she here?” I sobbed. “Neither of us ever come up here, so why now?”

It took a few minutes of crying for me to realize what I was doing. I pushed away and stared at him. There was no fear!

He was staring at me, utterly perplexed. He couldn't explain it either.

Slowly, I backed up a bit more. “What’s going on here?” I asked.

Suddenly, another of the command crew rounded the corner into the corridor. “Perl!”

It was Kari, another friend from high school. I didn't know her as well, but she had been Perl's roommate for years. Marc, who had been examining the body, stood and hurried to block her way.

They didn’t touch as John and I had, but they stood face to face. I wondered who would back down first. Marc was a bit stocky but well built. He often used those muscles to his advantage. Kari was incredibly beautiful, and her creamy brown skin always seemed to glow. Both knew how to use their assets, but neither seemed about to back down now.

Finally, Kari growled, “Move out of my way.”

I could tell that Marc wanted to give in, but he simply shook his head.

Kari tried to duck around, but he placed himself squarely in front of her again.

"I know you want to see her. To pay your respects, but now isn’t the time,” he told her.

“Why not?” she asked.

Marc sighed and looked to John for help. When none was forthcoming, he slowly stepped aside. Kari walked resolutely down the hall until she was able to see clearly. Then she lost it as I had. Unfortunately, where I had only had a single sip of coffee, Kari had eaten breakfast in a restaurant.

Marc was by her side in a moment. My stomach almost flipped when his bare hands touched her equally bare shoulders, but he didn’t change. Neither did she.

What was going on?

This time, I felt just as sick as I was in the memory as we pulled out of the dive. We stood in the dark room again.

“Have you made a decision?” I asked Amos. I hoped my voice didn’t betray my condition.

He stood there for a few minutes. “Yes,” he told me. He appeared thoughtful, then walked up to me. “I will promise you something, Rose."

“Because I still hold a place for you in my heart, I will not harm you, and by extension, your family. I see that harming them would harm you.”

“What about other people?” I asked.

“I will make no promises regarding others.”

“Will you let Carla go?”

“She is the one who is the sum total of her memories in here. Not me.”

The next thing I knew, I was shooting out of the dark hole I had been in.

Chapter 1.3

I opened my eyes and looked around. Carla was not in sight.

I contacted John, and when he came in, I told him what had happened.

"Let me get this straight, Rose. You voluntarily scanned the memories of Amos Goodwin? What is wrong with you?"

I knew he was right, but I wanted to defend my actions. "I wanted to be able to say to Carla, either she was wrong, or I was."

"That's not Carla, Rose!"

"I know that now, John, but you wondered why I did what I did!"

He stared at me for a long moment, then asked me, "Do you think he'll keep his word?"

I thought about what I had learned of Amos. He seemed to have changed at the end. "Yes, John, I do."

He looked down, then touched the intercom switch. "Marc and Kari Dodson: please report to Carla Richards' lab."

I knew what he was doing, and I glared at him. He was going to remove me from command.

When Marc and Kari arrived, that's precisely what he did. I felt somewhat sick as it was my husband who was doing it.

"Marc and Kari," he said, and I could see that he wasn't enjoying this anymore than I was. "I am fulfilling my responsibilities as second in command of this vessel, and removing Rose from command."

Marc and Kari stared at him as tears came to both our eyes. "I want you to see a psychologist, Rose."

"I'm not debating that he might hurt someone else, John. He needs capturing: or Carla does."

"Uh... Would it be too much to ask that someone explain what's going on here?" Marc asked. "Carla needs to be captured? And what 'he' are we talking about?"

"Rose touched Amos' memory crystals which Carla brought on board the ship when she transferred from N22."

"What?" Kari screamed! "What the hell were you thinking, Rose?"

Marc was shocked as well. "Why would you want to experience his memories?"

I didn't have anything to say. "I'm tired," I said. "I need to lie down."

"In the hospital."

"John, I'll be fine."

"The hospital. Please don't make me escort you there."

For some reason, that he would threaten to make sure I went to the hospital was the last straw. "I suppose it's better than sharing a bed with you," I said acidly. Then I was out the door.

I regretted what I said immediately, but my pride wouldn't allow me to go back and apologize. I kept walking with my head held high. I wanted to run to someplace I could hide from everyone, but I couldn't do it. Again, my pride got in the way.

Why did John have to relieve me? Dammit, I loved him more than life itself, and now I was furious with him! I didn't hate him. I still loved him. In fact, I loved him more. He did something that I didn't think I would have been able to do in his place. He had removed his wife from her position. I don't think I would ever be strong enough to do the same to him.

I entered the hospital, and Doctor Sylvia met me at the door. "Hi, Rose. I've heard what happened. Rachel is waiting in room five."

She allowed me the dignity of walking to the room myself, at least. I entered, and there was a hospital gown lying across the bed. I guess I was going to be staying for a while.

I didn't change as Rachel was sitting in a chair beside the bed. She offered to leave the room, but I was adamant. I had lost my command. I'd be damned if I was going to lose my dignity.

I sat down on the bed and looked at her. "I'm exhausted. I'd rather talk later."

She considered a moment, then stood up. She squeezed my hand, then left. "I'll be back later," she told me as she left.

I looked around and grimaced. There was no decoration in the room. It was sterile, and I hated it immediately. I stood and picked up the gown. I thought of putting it on, but then a feeling of rage came over me. I wanted to rip the gown to shreds, but that would only give them ammunition. I decided instead to fold it and set it on the tray. I had to try twice to get it folded neatly; my hands were shaking so badly.

I lay down and had a hard time getting to sleep, even though I was telling the truth when I said I was exhausted. Finally, I did fall asleep. I dreamed about Amos' memories, which wasn't surprising considered what had happened that day. When I woke up, I sensed a presence in the room and was scared out of my mind. I looked at the chair and expected to see Carla. Instead, I saw John sitting there.

I started to cry, and he practically jumped to my side. I didn't say anything when he told me to move over. I just did it, then he lay down beside me and wrapped his arms around me. It felt so good. I buried my face in his chest and cried myself to sleep.

When I awoke, John was still there.

"Hey, sleepyhead. How are you doing now?"

I couldn't have slept very long. John had responsibilities as Commander. He wouldn't neglect that, would he?

"John, how long was I asleep?"

"About eighteen hours," he told me.

"Eighteen hours!? You were here that long? What about finding Amos?"

He sighed. "I'm not in command, Rose."

I pushed away from him. "What? Why!?"

"You think, with you stuck here after what you experienced, that I could keep focused on command? I needed to be here with you."

"John, Amos needs to be caught! Who's in command?"

"After you left, I briefed Marc and Kari and then handed command to Kari. She accepted the position with the provision that, as soon as you were deemed ready, you would resume your place."

I mulled that over. He made perfect sense. I knew I wouldn't have been able to keep my mind on command with John in the hospital. We had always wondered if the bots had augmented our feelings for each other, and now I knew they had. John would have the same problems focusing on his responsibilities.

"So, what are your duties now?" I asked him.

"Just one. To stay with you."

"So, you're relieved as well?"

"Yes and no." He grinned at my look of confusion. "If I remember right, Kari said, 'Go be with Rose. That's an order.'" He paused a moment. "That was her first order too. She's got the command thing down."

I grinned and lightly punched him on the shoulder.

A few minutes later, Dr. Sylvia brought some food in for us. I looked at her strangely. "How come you're serving..."I glanced at the plates. "Dinner?"

"Have you looked at the clock?" She asked me.

"It says two."

"That's AM, Rose."

"Oh." I was taken aback. I guess when John told me eighteen hours, I hadn't realized what that meant. I hadn't even glanced at the clock since I entered the hospital.

I thought over the time in those memories turned to John. "How long was I in the crystals?"

"No more than ten minutes as far as I can tell. We checked over the video and audio logs of that office. Carla left about thirty seconds before you came out of it. You were almost motionless for that entire time."

I know my jaw dropped. It felt like hours! I had gone through most of Amos' memories from childhood. How was it only such a short time?

I realized that Sylvia and John were both staring at me.

"What?" John wondered.

"I experienced Amos' childhood, John. Almost all of it!"

"You know that a dream can feel like it took hours, but they only last about twenty to thirty minutes. I'm guessing that you experienced what you did because the bots put things in your mind as a collective."

I thought about Carla, and I wondered how long she felt she had been there. I knew what Amos had told me about her, but I wasn't sure if he was telling the truth. Why would he tell the truth about his intentions but not about her? Was she really dead? I sighed and pushed my plate away. I'd only eaten about half of it, but I wasn't hungry any longer.

In just ten minutes, my life had been turned upside down. I learned that my little sister hadn't actually been my little sister for several centuries. Instead, she had been an automaton who could only do what Amos told her. I learned that much of what Amos had done was because of me. I leaned against John again and started to cry. This time, though, it was too much, and I wept. All those people killed because a madman was infatuated with me. The entire world had been wiped out because he couldn't have me. I wasn't sure I could live with it.

Sylvia slipped out, and a few minutes later, I heard a knock on the door. I still had my face buried in John's chest, and I just said, "Go away!"

Whoever it was ignored me, and I could hear them sit down. I looked up and saw that it was Rachel. I sighed. I didn't want to talk to her, but I knew it was best if I did. I sat up and gripped John's hand tightly. He wasn't going anywhere.

"Do you want me to..." He started to ask.

"That's up to Rose," she said.

"Stay here," I told him. "I need you to stay here."

"I guess I'm staying, Doc."

Rachel smiled, then said to me, "I'm guessing that what you saw in Amos' mind was terrible."

I could barely speak as I thought of what he had done. "He had no remorse at all! It was indescribable."

I told her what I had seen. A lot of what I said, John hadn't heard, and he was shocked. He had started in on the food I hadn't finished, but partway through my narrative, he slid the plate away and looked somewhat green. He slipped off the bed and out of the room. I stopped speaking, and Rachel nodded.

"We can wait," she said. "I think you need him to hear this. He needs to know what you are dealing with."

When John came back in, I was quiet. He sat down beside me, then said, "I'm alright, Hon. Go ahead and continue."

I carefully gauged his expression. I knew he was anything but alright, but he needed to hear the rest.

"When Carla and I got control, I was determined to show him my side. To show him what he had done to the person he supposedly cared for."

I explained what I had shown him and how he had apparently changed. When I was done, I looked down at my hands, which had been nervously picking at the blanket. "He wasn't truthful, was he? He doesn't care who he hurts. Even me."

"I doubt he was, Rose."

I suddenly realized what that meant. "What about Paula and Fred? Mom and Dad?"

"It's already taken care of. There are guards outside of their apartments, and wherever they go, they'll be accompanied.

"I was a fool." As neither one said anything, I knew I was right.

Finally, Rachel asked, "Why did you hold out hope that he had changed?"

"When he realized that I was trans, he was shocked. He hadn't known that. I know he never realized. We went through so much. He had to have felt my emotions, so I hoped that he would realize what he had done to me. The person he supposedly..." The words tasted foul in my mouth. "Loved."

"Is there any way he could keep from receiving your emotions?" Rachel wondered.

"I didn't see anything, but I suppose anything is possible. He invented both the bots and the crystals, so I suppose he could have invented some way of making up memories or changing them. For that matter, I don't know if Carla was real, or something to make me think I had more control in a dive than I really did."

I suddenly thought of something that terrified me. "How do I know I'm really outside of the crystals now? I might still be there!"

John reached out, but I slapped his hand away. "Don't touch me! How do I know it's really you?" My fear skyrocketed as I considered what may be happening.

As I thought of my situation, I realized that there was no way I could determine where I was. How could I ever know for sure? I wouldn't.

John looked me in the eyes. There was something there that seemed to indicate he was authentic. At least, I didn’t know how anyone would imitate that quality. It was something intangible that I felt.

I talked for a while with both John and Rachel, then I spoke only to Rachel for a little while. We determined that there was no reason for me to stay in the hospital. I would go home with John, and Rachel would visit daily. It seemed like my counseling would be compressed into a short amount of time, but I was the commander, and the quicker I could get back to my position, the better.

John and I went home soon after I finished talking to Rachel. Later that day, my parents stopped by, wondering why they had heard that Kari was in command. We sat down, and I started explaining when there was a knock on the door. Paula and Fred entered our apartment, and I had to restart my tale.

When I finished, I had a problem. Four people were absolutely glaring at me. I looked at John for help, and he shrugged his shoulders as if to say “You got yourself into this mess. You can get yourself out.”

I tried many different ways to work my way back into everyone’s good graces, but it seemed as though it just wasn’t going to happen.

I spoke with Rachel several times over the next couple of weeks until she grudgingly told me I could resume command. On the condition that I let her know if I had any doubts.

I agreed. “Yeah, right!”

On the bridge, the following day, Kari and Marc were happy to see John and me. We went into the briefing room on the command deck, and they filled me in on what had happened while I was gone.

A search for Amos was running, but no one had seen anything of him. I felt like such a fool for believing that he had changed. Why couldn't we find him? He was in Carla's body for crying out loud. She and I looked so much alike, I didn't think anyone could miss her. So why were we?

I asked the others what they thought, and honestly, they didn't know. It seemed so strange. This ship was a lot bigger than both the others we had been on, and its technology was much superior. Still, none of the internal monitors seemed to be picking him up.

Of course, it could have to do with the length of time he had been aboard. Waiting for us to return from outside the galaxy. The time to memorize every nook and cranny of the ship was there.

I sighed as we seemed to be getting nowhere in our discussion. Kari had worked in security since before we left Earth, and she had organized a meticulous search. I couldn't fault her for anything she had done.

At the end of the day, our relief crew came to the bridge, and we exited. John and I made our way to a beautiful spot on board where we could be alone.

N21 and N22 had was no means to go from one bay to another, except by going to the inner rings. This ship, the Neo22, had a ring that circled outside the bays as well. A "U" corridor went from one set of bays to the others while connecting it. Each "U" had three levels, including the corridor. The others were observation areas.

The floors of the ship were dependent on its artificial gravity, so walking through the "U" was a strange experience. It was a seventy-foot wide corridor that always looked like it was curving downward. Still, you continually felt like you were walking on a level surface.

To reach the observation area below was even more confusing. Rather than the floor being oriented the same way, walking down the ramp took you in a spiral where you standing one hundred and eighty degrees to the level above, or rather, below. What was now above you, was an enormous, arched ceiling to the outside, looking toward the ship.

The other level was much easier to understand. There was simply a ramp up to it. There, the only thing to mar the view was at the midpoint of the floor. Another tube stretched off in both ways as it made its way around the outer perimeter of the ship.

There were twenty-four such observation areas, and each one had its own function. The one that connected to the bay our home was in was ours. We had absconded with it shortly after coming on board the ship. My husband, with his engineering skills, had turned it into a new restaurant for me. Both the inward-looking and outward-looking fell under the name Heaven's Rose. The inside looking side was a much more casual, while the outer was a very classy dining room.

Above the kitchen, was a completely private place, sealed off from everything. It was about thirty feet from side to side and took up the entire width of the ring. There was about fifty feet from floor to ceiling in the center part, and somehow, with the use of holograms, the stars that you couldn't see were projected. It seemed that you were standing in the middle of space, with nothing around to hold in an atmosphere. Only the feel of the firm deck below provided any sense of security.

We entered the space and looked around. I felt so small every time I walked in with the vastness of space stretching out before me. In the middle of the room was a pair of chairs, and we made our way to them. We weren't in a hurry. I wanted to unwind after a hard day. We had almost made it to the chairs when I stopped. John was talking about the view when he saw what I did. Seated in one of the chairs was Carla. She was looking away from us, but she had to have heard our talking. There was no escape for us, so we stepped into her view. Her eyes were closed, and if it hadn't been for her breathing, I would have thought she was dead.

I looked her up and down and realized that she was holding Amos' memory crystals. What was going on?

"John, call Kari. Let's get Carla into a stasis pod until we can figure this out."

He didn't reply, which was different. He simply took my hand and pulled me with him.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"You think I'm leaving you alone with that madman? You've got another thing comin'."

"John, I'll be okay."

"Yeah, you will. You're not staying here without me. I'm saying that not as 2nd in command, but as your husband. There is no way I'm allowing that."

I glared at him for a moment, but then I realized he was being very wise. We had no idea what was going on. Anything could happen.

It was just a few minutes until Kari, and a contingent of guards arrived.

Carla hadn't moved the entire time, and they moved her to a gurney to be transferred to the medical bay. A little while later, we received word that she was in a stasis pod, and cooling down.

Amos was out of our lives.

End of Part 1.
Part 2 will be coming soon! Stay tuned!

Chapter 2.1

I had only been back to my position for a day when we found Carla in our observation room. I wasn't sure how she got there, but I was assuming that in the memories with Amos, he was able to tap into my knowledge of the ship. It seemed like a reasonable solution to that question.

I spoke to my command staff, and Kari retook control of the ship, while I removed myself from active duty this time. I had thought about it and decided that it would be the best for Neo22.

I was so concerned about Carla! She was in stasis, frozen in the hospital section of the ship, and I wanted to get her out of there as quickly as we could.

"We don't even know if she's real," John pointed out as I spoke to him about it.

"That's true, but she might be," I argued.

"We know that Amos was able to change bodies to his specs. How do we know that she's not actually him?" He continued, unmercifully. "What if it's Carla's body, but with Amos' mind?"

What he said bothered me. I dearly wanted Carla to be real, but I was afraid that if she were, she would be so broken that it would be hard to get her back into her own mind.

I assumed the latter to be the case, but it could go either way.

If it was her body, with Amos in control, he had no answer to the question of how much of Amos was in her head. Doctors Jack and Sylvia were both studying her body, hoping to find out what was happening—trying to find out if it was Carla.

Kari continued her search of the ship each day, and I finally told her I thought that was ridiculous. We had him in stasis.

"Rose, did you talk to him when you found him?"

"No. Carla was catatonic when we found her."

"Exactly. If Amos can move his consciousness around, how do we know he didn't transfer into someone else?"

I looked at my friend like she'd grown a second head, then answered, "I guess we don't."

As the realization slowly came to me, Kari nodded. "I hope you're right, and I'm just being paranoid, but I don't want to find out the hard way that I'm wrong."

I sat in my living room, and I was scared. I was scared that I had considered Kari's caution to be ridiculous.

I finally looked up at her. "Do your job, Kari. You know more than I'll ever know about security."

She didn't argue, for which I was grateful.

As she left my house, I told her, "I'd like to accompany your people on their searches."

She shook her head. "You need to let others do their jobs, Rose. You know that. Please, trust me."

"Carla's my sister, Kari. I want that bastard to pay for what he did to her."

"Every one of us lost someone back on Earth, Rose. He took our home away from us. We can't return. They want him just as bad as you do."

After Kari turned and left, I said to myself, "I seriously doubt it."

John walked into the living room at that moment. He had decided to let Kari and I talk alone, and I guess when he heard the door shut, he came out of his office. "What do you doubt?" he asked.

I gave John one of my looks, but I didn't like to keep secrets from him. “That her people want to catch Amos as much as I do.”

This time he gave me the same type of look, but I couldn't hold his gaze. I was there when Amos' people ejected his younger brother with the rest of the medical personnel. I saw the disappointed look when his parents weren't on any of the ships that had escaped the destruction of Earth. I felt it too. How many times had I eaten dinner with John and his family on Earth? The crystals that held my memory remembered them perfectly. The expressions and mannerisms of John were so much like both of them that I couldn't help but love them too, and his little brother, Jake, was almost a carbon copy of him. Like Carla and me, I suppose.

I stopped as I thought that, and hung my head. Until the bots transformed me, we had no idea how similar Carla and I would be, but John and Jake knew it from the beginning. They weren’t twins, but they may as well have been. They were so close. John knew what he had lost while I could only speculate.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

He sat down beside me and put his arm around me. “No need to apologize, Hon. I understand what you’re going through.”

I suppose in a way, he did. Of course, there were differences, but not that many.

My mind went back to that world we left so long ago.

Everything started to go downhill when an earthquake near Indonesia set off a chain reaction causing almost all of the volcanoes in the ring of fire circling the Pacific Ocean to erupt. One year later, earthquakes started under the sleeping giant, Yellowstone, and everyone knew that things were about to change.

The eruptions in the previous year had made things horrible. When Yellowstone erupted, human life was pushed almost to the edge of extinction. The only thing that kept extinction from happening was our stubbornness. Doctors found ways to help people fight off the ash, as breathing was nearly impossible.

Eventually, the ash had settled and was washed away in areas. Replenishing the flora was able to be done through seeds, but fauna was a different story. Many species were destroyed, and micro-robotics advanced incredibly to replace the insects needed to bring back the biosphere of Earth.

I sat there, daydreaming about the beautiful world we'd left behind. Even with the ravages of the horrible effects of the volcanoes, the world was still beautiful, in a stark way. Also, though Hawaii was several volcanoes, those weren't affected by the others.

Of course, the Earth was beautiful until the doomsday weapons reduced it to rubble. In a way, Carla or Amos had been correct. The fact was, he had built the damned things but never set them off.

When they cannibalized N22 to rescue N21, the missiles were set on a collision course with the sun. Paula and Fred had no idea what the armaments were, but the sun should have simply burned them up. The missiles, however, were programmed with enough AI to turn and hit their targets on Earth no matter what. Once they were launched, they would hit the earth.

It took years for them to make several orbits of Sol to adjust their orbits, but eventually, they did.

When we arrived back at Earth, hoping to be home after hundreds of years, we almost died from skimming the atmosphere to brake. The ship was attacked by the bots that had infected Earth, killing every creature on the surface.

My reminiscing was interrupted by a knock on the door. John opened it and welcomed Fred and Paula.

Paula was my sister, although she started as my brother. When Amos's games began on Earth, Paul was the chancellor. He was entering a meeting of his advisers, and the same fear hit. A woman ran out of the room and pushed Paul out of the way. He immediately changed into a woman. When the process was complete, he, or rather, she, ran out of the room the same way the woman had. It was partway down the hall that she realized what happened.

She locked herself in her office and wouldn't come out until her daughter, Ronda, was found murdered. Her husband, Phineas, had killed her because of the fear. He had suspected her of cheating on him with another woman. After Phineas was questioned, Rhoda, Ronda’s twin sister, told Paula that she was a lesbian, but Ronda was not.

When a man named Gene found her slumped over her sister’s body, the fear had left, and Rhoda inadvertently touched his hand. That started the transition in Gene, and a few moments later, he was a lesbian. They were bonded as lovers, with Gene as Gina.

Fred had been the first person to become the chancellor of Earth after the removal of Amos. He changed his last name to Freeman because he had not wanted to be associated with his brother. He had specified that Freeman signified just that. A free man from his brother's sick rule.

Before I could sit down, there was another knock. John motioned for me to sit, and he answered the door. It was my parents this time. When our daughter heard everyone's voices, she came out of her room at the end of the hall to see everyone.

Once again, I had to explain why Kari was in command. We tended to play ring around the rosy with control. I had been in charge of N21 for around a hundred years, subjective time. When N22 rescued N21, Rashda Smythe was in charge of it, for another hundred.

Paula had been in command of Neo22 when we came aboard, and after nearly a millennium, I took over. It had been only 59 years since then.

I waited a moment for my explanation, however. When my mother gave me her look, I asked, "Are Rhoda and Gina coming as well?"

Paula flashed her mother's look at me as well, but I wasn't in the mood to respond. "Look, I want Carla back," I told her firmly. "None of us got to know her very well once Amos got ahold of her."

“She’s been on board for a very long time,” Paula told me. “I know her very well.”

I stormed up to my sister. “Did you know Amos was there?”

“We don’t know that,” Paula responded, standing up and glaring at me eye to eye.

I held her gaze until Fred spoke up. “Carla didn’t seem to have any of Amos’ less than desirable attributes.”

I whirled on him. “Less than desirable? Less than desirable!!?”

My father stopped my tirade. “Rosie!” He never spoke so sharply, so I backed up and looked at him.

“Everyone here wants Carla back. Your mother and I have gotten to know her since we got to this ship. She's a lovely girl."

“But how much of that sweetness is Amos, Daddy?”

I immediately realized what I had done when his face fell. "I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“From what you said, Amos absorbed her memories,” Mom said. “If it’s Amos, he’s probably using her own memories and experiences to act like her.”

“But it wouldn’t be her, Mom. It would be Amos.”

“I know that, Sweetheart.”

I sighed and sat down. My mom’s argument seemed ridiculous to me. Of course, that was all contingent upon Amos being in there instead of her.

I looked at my father. "Daddy, what do you know about the bots?"

Our dad had been a molecular biologist before we left Earth. Once we were exiled, he switched to trying to understand the bots; however, he didn't make any headway until we were no longer under their influence.

"As much as I hate to say it, they are an incredible example of engineering. I've dissected a few of Carla's. They're no different than anyone else's."

"Then how..." John seemed to be searching for words, but my father stopped him with a raised hand.

"What appears to be happening is the bugs can connect a person's memory crystals directly to the brain. The incredible thing is since the memories are processed by a microscopic computer in the crystal's setting, the person is able to think incredibly fast."

"Can we remove them from a person's body?" Fred asked quietly.

My mom was still a medical doctor, although she had spread her field from molecular biologist to a full MD. Not that she was needed in such a capacity, but if we were able to extricate the bots, we would need someone with her expertise. She shook her head at Fred's question.

"I'm afraid not, Fred. I've examined several people, and in each situation, I've found that the person's immune system was non-existent."

"What?" Paula exclaimed.

"Somehow, the DNA to create it has been completely removed, and each person's previous DNA records are gone. I have no idea how to replace it."

"Grandma," my daughter, Pearl, said, "What if you mapped the DNA of a baby who hadn't received any bots yet? Could you..." She stopped as Mom shook her head.

"That's a great idea, Pearl, but we inject fresh bots right after birth because a child isn't born with an immune system."

"So, we're dependent...." Paula started, but John's exclamation stopped her."

"Wait a minute!!!"

Everyone looked at him.

"Pop, you said that the crystals connect directly to a person's brain."

Daddy nodded.

"So, is it connected to anyone now?"

A cold feeling suddenly spread throughout me as I thought of who the last person to handle that belt buckle had been.

"Kari." I gasped.

John was already on his feet. "Wait, John," I called. "Kari suggested the same thing. Why would she do that if she was Amos?"

"To make you hesitate like you're doing. To hide."

"And I fell for it again."

John didn't say anything. He just called Marc. "Marc, is Kari there?"

"No," his voice came back. "She just left."

"Where'd she go?"

"She was watching something on her computer, then got up, said she had to check on something, then left."

"Thanks, Marc."

"What's up? Maybe I can help?"

"I don't know what's going on, Marc. I'll let you know when I figure it out."

He closed the connection and turned to us.

Fred was the first one to speak. "Do you think she was watching us?"

John shook his head. "I built this house, Fred. There's no cameras or mics in here."

I could barely speak. My world was falling into complete chaos. "How many times have we had Carla babysit Pearl?" I asked quietly.

John called Marc back. "Marc, I need you to get a radio detector and get to our house ASAP!"

Marc didn't ask any questions, but he lived just a short distance away. He was there in less than five minutes.

"Okay, John. Talk."

"First, see if anything is transmitting from this house."

Marc shook his head but turned on his receiver. He frowned as he walked over to a picture across my grandfather clock. He ran the scanner over it, then squinted at a corner of the frame. "Got any tweezers?"

I hurried to my vanity and got some. I handed them to him, and he grabbed something that looked like an imperfection in the wood. He pressed a button and then walked into the kitchen. A moment later, he came out with a bowl. He looked at his detector, frowned, and into the bathroom.

"Can I go into your room?" He asked.

I blanched at that. Cameras and mics in our room? John and I had a very active sex life.

A moment later, he came out. "Was there..." I started.

"Yeah, " he said absently as he walked into the hallway at the other side of the living room. By the time he finished, he had a black speck in the bowl that represented every room in our house, plus both hallways, the front porch and back yard.

I was livid. "That bastard was watching us as we...!"

John came over and tried to put his arm around me. "Rose, settle down."

"Settle down! You want me to settle down?!"

"What's going on?" Marc asked.

"He's in Kari!" I exclaimed.

Marc's eyes narrowed. "Who?"

"We don't know that," Dad countered me.

"We've got a pretty good idea, Dad." I was too angry to call him Daddy.

"Amos?" Marc asked.

Paula nodded as he looked around at all of us, hoping not to get that answer.

"When?"

"As far as we know," Paula told him, "she was the last person to handle the belt buckle."

Marc turned green. "That bitch, " he muttered. "That bitch!" Louder this time. Finally, "That conniving bitch!!!"

John looked confused. "What?" He asked.

"Dad, " Pearl said, sounding exasperated. "Marc and Kari are married. What do married people do at night?"

John looked at Marc with what looked like pity. "I'm sorry, " he finally said lamely.

"She said the problems with Carla made her think about how finite our existence is. We aren't immortal. We will die sometime. It's just a matter of when." He paused. "She said she wanted a kid to carry on our legacies."

"That sounds like Kari, " I said.

"You said Amos was revolted when touching others, " Mom pointed out.

Fred nodded. "He was always a germaphobe."

I shook my head. "He has Kari's memories too. She liked sex." I lowered my eyes. "She told me about it." I thought about what I'd just said. "She told me that she liked it." I tried to fix it, but I couldn't.

My husband confirmed that. "We'll talk about this later." He turned to me. "You need to take command, Rose."

"No! I'm too upset! Paula can do it!"

My sister shook her head. "No. It's your command now."

"Paula, I keep making mistakes. I've swallowed his lies twice now! How many more?"

"So you know not to believe anything he says. If his mouth's moving, he's lying. Besides, you need to prove to yourself that you can still command."

"I don't want to command. Not under these circumstances."

My dad stood up. He walked over to me, and for a minute, I thought he was going to... I really don't know what I thought.

He took my hand and gently pulled me to my feet. "I've never told you this, Rose. You were a great commander when you were." He paused, the rephrased it. "Before your transition. The thing is, you were so much more sure of yourself when you didn't have to hide the real you. You're an even better commander now." I knew it was silly, but I felt like crying. I don't know why, but I always felt special when Daddy complimented me.

I took a deep breath and nodded. It wouldn't be easy for me. Amos had victimized my little sister and my best friend, and now all I wanted to do was kill him. I had never felt that way about anyone, but these were different circumstances.

I turned to John. "Okay, I'm taking back control. Kari is relieved of all duties until we ascertain exactly who she is." I swallowed the lump in my throat as I said it. "Daddy, I need some way to tell who she is."

I picked up my phone and punched a unique code into it. The next thing I said was broadcast over every speaker on the ship. Even though we stood inside our house, we could hear my voice thundering into the woods and farmlands that made this bay special.

"Attention, everybody, " I said. "By now, you have probably heard that we have Amos Goodwin on board. Well. That isn't precisely true. We have his mind on board, and by using the nanobots in our bodies and our memory crystals, he appears to be able to... Well, hijack anyone he wants." I paused for a moment.

"Don't tell them about Kari, " Marc pleaded too quietly for my phone to pick up.

I considered, then nodded. He was right. None of us were genuinely immortal. We could be killed, and everyone on board had reason to kill Amos. If I told them that we thought he had taken over Kari, she would die. Instead, I modified the truth slightly.

"We don't know who he is in right now. We need everyone to make sure you are always with someone else. I need two guards with every member of the crew, and at every entrance to the command level. Thank you."

"You realize," Daddy said, "That won't keep Kari off of the command level. Her people have no reason to distrust her."

"I know." I started to turn to the front door. I planned to go to the bridge when the door opened, and Kari walked in.

---

Please don’t forget to give kudos, and I’d really love to hear what you think of this story, so please comment. Thanks!

Chapter 2.2

Kari walked toward Marc, but he backed away. "So you think I'm Amos?"

"I'm not sure, " he replied.

"But, you've got a good idea." Her tone wasn't right. She never spoke that way. Especially not to Marc.

"I don't want you to be."

She looked around the room at each of us. "I'd say you have a problem." Her tone was now mocking. "Am I Amos, or am I, Kari? I guess you've figured it out now, so I can shed my disguise."

As we watched, her dark skin grew lighter and lighter. Some kind of liquid spilled down her legs as she lost height, and we could see as it turned into vapor. A moment later, Amos was standing in front of us. He looked at the sleeves of Kari's top, hanging past his hands. "That's no good, " he said, and his clothes shrunk. They changed style to what I had seen Amos wear years ago.

"It's the first time I've been in my own body since I was killed on Earth. Do you realize that?"

"So is that Carla's body?" Dad asked him.

"Does this look like Carla's body, Vernon?"

I watched as Dad's expression became one of fury. "You know damned well what I meant," he said.

"Then, I would recommend that you say what you mean."

Amos walked over to Fred. "Hello, Freddy. It's been a while, hasn't it?" He started walking around Fred and Paula. "I have to say, Paul, you sure look better than the last time I saw you."

He laughed. "Of course, the last time I saw you was when you had me killed. You watched for seven days as I was tortured."

He shook his finger at them as if he was scolding a little child. "That wasn't very nice."

Fred's jaw muscles were moving as he fought for control.

"You knew what the bots could do." I tried to deflect his attention from my sister and brother in law.

"Ah, Rose." He walked over to stand right in front of John and me. "My little flower. I told you the truth. I really am interested in you."

I shook my head. "I don't believe you; besides, John is my husband."

"No matter. You know, there's something I've always wanted to do, and with Kari's knowledge..." Like lightning, his fist flew up toward John's face. Somehow, however, John knew it was coming. His arm deflected it, and then his other fist connected with Amos' face. Blood spattered all over as his nose shattered. He fell backward, and as he stood up, I was shocked to see his face stop bleeding and repair itself. His bots seemed to be working in overdrive. He wiped some blood from the corner of his mouth, but when his hand dropped to his side, the blood disappeared.

"Excellent, Carlson. But I'll bet you can't do this." He ran towards one of the windows, and as he did, he changed. By the time he was ready to leap, he was on all fours, and he put his head down, so his antlers hit the glass first. It shattered when he jumped. I looked out at him as he turned around. He was now a ram! He shook his head as if to clear it, then turned and ran into the woods. In a moment, he was out of sight.

"What the hell?" John bellowed. "So we don't have to just look for people, but he can become anything! That's just great! This just gets better and better!" He turned to my dad. "How's this possible?"

"I don't know, John. He doesn't seem to be using normal bots."

"You think?"

“How did you know he was going to hit you, John?” I asked.

“When you reminded him of me, he glanced at me, and then he made a move in exactly the same way Kari always does. I can always tell.”

“What? He said he was using Kari’s knowledge. Why would he use a move Kari can’t hide from you?”

John stood still as he realized the implication. “She let us know she’s there, didn’t she.”

I nodded. “It seems like.”

“Does that mean Carla is still in her body?” Paula asked.

“It might,” Dad responded. “I’m not sure, though,” he finished.

“Why?” I didn’t even want to think about the reason.

“When Carla was first, shall we say, possessed by Amos, she was a teenager, and Amos was still alive. However, we know that Amos can change a body. Rosie, you said he changed that boy to a copy of you, with your DNA sequence.”

“Yes. He kept the boy's…" I paused. "Well, you know, but the rest of him was based on DNA very close to what I have now."

“Unintentionally, yes,” Dad said, as he became a teacher again. “I wonder if he knew you’d eventually have that DNA yourself. Oh well… No matter. You do, and you’re a wonderful daughter.”

He seemed to draw some kind of cloak of apathy over himself as he continued. “What if he changed Carla’s body to himself, and his own body to Carla’s before he died.”

“Why would he do that, Vernon?” Mom asked him.

“Perhaps he knew he was about to be taken. He was arrogant enough to trust his own tech even at that age. Maybe he figured that the best way to get everyone off his back was to become someone else."

“So, you think I might have ordered the death of my own sister?" Paula was trembling at the thought.

“I didn’t say that,” Dad told her.

“You didn’t have to! If he changed Carla into himself, then we killed her!”

I don't think Dad thought about what he was saying until that moment. Or maybe he did because what he said next was able to spur us to action. "If Carla died instead of Amos, then Kari might still be there. Carla wouldn't be, because she isn't in the body that's in that freezer. It's Amos' body."

He looked around at us, and the apathy left him. “Girls, we don’t know for sure. This is all speculation.”

I had tears leaking from my eyes as I told him, “Dad, your speculations are usually right.”

“Sweetheart, I'm usually willing to place a wager on my speculations, but not this time. I just don't know about this one."

Marc wasn't doing very well. He stood up and seemed to be very shaky. "I'm going for a walk," he announced.

“No,” I said immediately.

He gave me a strange look, and I told him, “Not alone.”

He sighed, and Fred spoke up. “I know you want to be alone with your thoughts, Marc, but I”ll go with you. I’ll be as quiet as a church mouse. You’ll not even know I”m there.”

Marc gave him a wan smile, then they stepped outside and off the porch.

Paula stepped to the window, watching as they walked down the path and out of sight. Our house looked out on a small lake, that covered about five acres, and the trail went around it, and into town.

On a typical day, John and I would be down at the dock with fishing poles in the water. We never caught anything, but both of us loved it. Ever since childhood, we fished together. It had been one of our first 'dates' when we were eight years old.

Paula turned away from the window and sat down. "Fred's got just as much baggage as anyone. He just doesn't know what to do about Amos."

The rest of us sat down as well, and she told us what had happened in Honolulu before she became the chancellor.

“Fred agonized about the way we killed Amos. No. Not just the method, but that we had to kill him at all. He's such a peaceful man. People decided that the chancellor should be the judge for all of us too, and when that happened…" She looked around at us as if imploring us to understand. "He couldn't condemn anyone to death. He had a man who had deliberately killed seven people. We all knew it, even Fred. The penalty was death, and it took him two weeks of deliberation. I eventually had to storm into his office and convince him that it needed to be done."

She looked down at her hands. “I hated myself for that.”

“He’s hurting just as much as Marc,” Mom said.

“He thought it was over, and he could put it behind him.”

“He can’t let go of it,” I nodded. “Just like I can’t let go of the hope that Carla is still here.”

“We,” Paula corrected me.

“All of us,” Dad stated.

I was about to answer, but instead, I stood up. I heard yelling from outside! As I watched, Marc came into view. He was shouting loud and looking back over his shoulder. He looked like a man terrified of something.

All six of us hurried outside, wondering what had frightened him so much.

"What's going on?" John hollered as he grabbed Marc.

"It was terrifying!" Marc half yelled and half sobbed. "It came out of the water!"

"What did?" John still had ahold of him. It looked like he'd collapse if John let go.

Marc pulled his arms away from John, then collapsed into the porch swing. "It had to have been Kari... Amos! It was huge! Some sort of creature. I don't know what it was, but it looked like some sort of dinosaur."

Paula had been looking around. Suddenly, she asked. "Where's Fred?"

"It grabbed him!" He gasped. "Pulled him into the water! I didn't know what to do! I'm sorry Paula. Its mouth was about two feet wide! I didn't know how to fight it. I... I ran."

I sat up in bed, suddenly terrified. John was awake in an instant, and he sat up as well. He looked around the bedroom, ready to take on anything.

"What?" He asked, obviously fueled by adrenaline.

"I was just thinking, John."

He relaxed a bit and then reached around to his back. "Did you hurt yourself?" I asked.

"Well, I sat up pretty quick, hon."

I couldn't help but smile. I gently pushed him down, where I could reach his lower back. I began massaging it. "There?"

He groaned in response, then mumbled something into his pillow.

"What?" I asked, laughing.

He lifted his head, then told me, "The bots will take care of that."

"Yes, but it won't be as nice as me giving you a massage."

"True. What we're you thinking about?"

Damn him! I didn't want to let my mind go there again; I took a deep breath. "How do we know Marc was telling the truth?"

"We don't," he said simply.

I nodded and stopped rubbing his back. He turned and pushed himself up on an elbow.

"I'm scared," I told him. "They didn't cover this in command school."

"Well," he gave me a lopsided grin. "Had you gone to command school, and they failed to cover this situation, I would be very disappointed in them. This is a regular occurrence. Everyone should be prepared!"

John always put things into a joke if he could. I think it kept him sane. With everything we had been through, we all needed something. I took advantage of my husband's humor and stayed sane that way. Well, I also took solace in cooking and my music, but I didn't seem to have time for that anymore.

The thought made me climb out of bed, and start for the door.

"Where are you going?"

I stopped as I realized we weren't to be separate. My own orders. "Just out to the piano, John."

"Not alone."

"There are guards out there."

He climbed out of bed, and I noticed that he didn't wince. Either my rubbing or the bots had worked. I preferred to think it was my massage.

He grabbed my robe and tossed it to me. I glanced down. No. I wouldn't want to display so much flesh to the guards. I was covered where I needed to be, but as John liked to joke, I shouldn't be judged by my nightclothes, as there wasn't enough evidence.

I slipped my robe on and tied it, then we both went to the living room. Sometimes I was envious of John. He was wearing a simple pair of boxers, and I had to cover up. I sighed -- men and their being turned on by sight.

I sat on the bench, and John sat beside me. He did it a lot, and it was almost impossible for me to play with him there. I loved it, though, even when he sang with me. He couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, but I loved singing with him anyway. It was so special, just him and me.

I played a few notes, and the front door opened. It was one of the guards.

"Sorry, Ma'am. Sir. I heard the noise."

"No problem," John replied. "Carry on."

Once the door was shut, I started playing with my right hand. I was leaning on John, and my left arm was pretty useless for playing. I was playing an old song from a stage production dating back to before the volcanoes.

Phantom faces at the window,
Phantom shadows on the floor,
Empty chairs at empty tables
Where my friends will meet no more.
Oh my friends, my friends don't ask me
What your sacrifices was for
Empty chairs at empty tables
Where my friends will sing no more. ¹

I finished the song, and John held me as I simply cried.

When I woke up the next morning, I found that John carried me to bed. I looked at the clock and saw that it was almost 10:30 AM. I felt refreshed physically, but I still felt emotionally drained. I glanced at John and saw that he was still sleeping, so I got up and went to the kitchen. There was a note on the fridge from Pearl. She went with the guards into town when they swapped out earlier. She was going to visit my parents for the day.

I picked up my phone and dialed my mom's number.

"Hi, Mom. Pearl left me a note saying she was going to your place today. Did she make it alright?"

I listened for a moment. "Okay, Mom. Thanks."

I set down my phone and breathed a sigh of relief. That was a load off my mind. I opened my fridge and pulled out some things. I ground some coffee beans, and set that going; then I made some omelets for John and me. Ham, steak, bacon, peppers, onions, tomatoes, broccoli, spinach... They would be good. I started making toast and hash browns.

John walked into the kitchen and watched me for a few moments. Then he got some coffee and came back to where I was working. He set down a cup beside me and then asked, "Who's coming over?"

I looked up at him, confused. "No one. Why?"

"How many eggs are in each of those? I'm counting at least a dozen empty shells here."

I looked down at the counter and then looked in the fridge. John was right—six egg omelets. I started to laugh, but it quickly turned into crying. I thought about what had happened yesterday. That wasn't good.

I could switch my mind off when cooking, and I guess the emotional drainage had made me do that. I hadn't been thinking about anything. I moved to the table and put my head down. I wept.

I was vaguely aware of some noise in the kitchen; then I felt John's hands on my shoulders. He rubbed them, then squeezed, then rubbed again. God, it felt beautiful! I don't know how long he massaged, but the tension that I hadn't even noticed in my neck was somewhat relieved.

He sat down beside me. "Paula needs something to do, Rose."

I nodded, but I didn't know what to suggest. "What?" I asked simply.

"She was security for Fred on Earth. Give her that."

"Why can't you do it? We decided that you would."

He shook his head. "Give it to her."

"John. Her sister is gone, now Fred is gone. She won't let Kari live."

He took my hand in his, then absently started to stroke the back of it with his thumb. I don't know why, but that act always gave me goosebumps. "There's nothing left of Kari there, Hon. You've got to let her go."

"I can't do that, John, and we don't know that she's gone. She might just be buried like Carla!"

He opened his mouth, and it looked like he was going to argue, but he didn't. Instead, he took his other hand and used it instead of his thumb. "Okay," he simply said. "I will do this then. I will let Paula control the security teams, but they are to capture Amos if at all possible."

I knew that was the best I could ask for. "Sixty-four square miles. Forty thousand, nine hundred sixty acres."

"That's a lot of ground to search, I know."

"That's just the bays," I told him. "There's more as well."

"How many hiding places in all of that?"

"It seems overwhelming."

He nodded. "It's insane."

John put the food in stasis, so we stepped outside. I was scared to walk around the lake, which was the only way to get to town. Our house was at the end of the 2-mile long habitat bay. The width was one-third-mile, and the whole end was our property. The lake took up almost the whole width as well. It left nearly twenty feet on of shoreline for the trail and a lovely little swimming beach. This extended about a hundred feet, and then the path went through some trees. It ended up at Paula's and Fred's house. Their house was on the beautiful little inlet. On the other side of their home was a beach. They gave public access to the lake there, but the town was hidden from our view by some woods.

This may all sound strange on a spaceship, but you have to realize, our voyage to Eridani would take a very long time. We knew that Centaurus had made their destination, but it was uninhabitable, so we were heading to the next one.

We had one way to travel that would take us around the lake in a roundabout manner, but I wasn't sure I wanted to do that. In our yard was a door that seemed to be standing free in the middle of the grass. It was an illusion created by some sort of hologram. If you tried to walk around the door, you would hit your nose on a metal wall while still seeing trees and grass in the distance. This door opened into a hall that curved upwards and would take you to the outer tubes. Not a thousand feet from our house was Heaven's Rose, my restaurant.

We decided to stay at our home for the time being. It seemed safer, and I could command from there just as easily as in the command center. We sat on the porch swing, and I started it moving with a few kicks of my feet.

"How do you suppose he became a dinosaur?" I asked.

"Your dad said any organic matter would be simple to reform."

I nodded. "But you've felt it, John. It's excruciating!"

"Just because it is for us, doesn't mean it is for him." I nodded — that made sense.

"What do you think he reformed?"

"Well, there aren't any fish in that lake."

"Huh?"

"Well, Rose. Have you ever caught anything in there?"

"You're telling me that there isn't anything living in there? At all?"

"Nope."

"Then why do we fish?"

"Didn't you enjoy our date when we were kids?"

"Well, sure, but..."

"So did I, Rose. I enjoy sitting out here with you, relaxing. Just kicking back and enjoying being together."

I had to admit that what he said was about as romantic as he ever got. It really surprised me, but before I could respond, We were shocked to see Amos walk around the corner of the house.

"Well, hello!" he said jovially.

"Guards!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

"Rose," Amos said, tutting his tongue at me. They won't hear you -- now or ever, in fact."

He came onto the porch and leaned back against the railing. "I want to extend an olive branch," He told us. "This station, or ship, I suppose, is now mine. It is entirely under my control. I'm sorry, Rose, but I don't think you are capable of being the leader of so many people. Therefore, I have taken over." He adjusted the way he was standing and somehow presented a more laid back posture.

"I have decided that for the time being, you have this upper side. If any people enter the passages that lead to the lower side, they forfeit their privilege of 'freedom' however fleeting that may be."

"What about Heaven's Rose?" John asked.

"You're right, Carlson. For Rose, I will allow her quaint little diner to be under her control. In fact, I will allow all establishments on the upper side of the U corridors to be under the upper side's control. However, the outer ring will be our demilitarized zone."

"Why are you not setting up a DMZ on the other side of the bays?"

"You're right. I shall allow the upper part of the Command side U corridors as well as the direct connection between bays to be a DMZ as well."

"What about the people down there?" I asked.

"They are mine." He said flatly.

"So, they are your toys?"

"They exist solely for my amusement."

I started to stand up, to scratch the bastard's eyes out, but John held me back.

"One more thing," he said, smiling. "This is contingent upon you, Rose, stepping down from command."

"Why?" John asked.

"I told you. I don't think she's capable of commanding."

I felt my blood starting to boil.

"So, do you want me to take over?"

"No, but I suppose I will allow it, as long as Rose comes with me."

"Absolutely not!" I shouted.

"Then, I want Smythe put in command."

"Rashda will be in command as long as Rose stays here, " John agreed.

"Fine," Amos agreed. "I give you no promises on how long this will last."

"We understand," I said.

"You no longer speak for your people, Mrs. Carlson."

"I understand," John said.

"Good." With that, Amos left us, walking around the house.

I felt utterly powerless.

The previous parts of this story were not rated PG15. Part 3 is, and has a violence caution. While some chapters may not fit these ratings, it is for all of Part 3.

To Not Let Go

Part 3 Chapter 1

For three months, we had tried to figure out what was allowing Amos to make such incredible changes and a possible way of stopping him. What we found was strange, to say the least.

We were seated in John's and my living room. Also present were my family and Rashda Smythe, who was now the commander of the ship. Rashda, like all of us except Pearl, was bonded and married. His wife, however, was downstairs in the area controlled by Amos.

We knew Amos had to be aware that she was there, and why he had demanded that Rashda be placed in command was beyond me. Rashda definitely had problems with Amos. Since Amos took control of the downstairs and the command center, we had not spoken to any of our friends. Rachel, my counselor, was also caught below.

We had no way of knowing what Amos was doing to those below. Marc and John had sealed the doors to the DMZs with codes that only they knew. Marc had demanded that he be allowed to continue to work, and he was doing so like a man possessed. Not that any of us blamed him.

We were determined to know what was happening, and although we had sealed off the access, we were working as hard as could be.

Dad was working on the nanobots, trying to figure out what made them work. How they could make him change so fast was still a mystery.

Before long, it was hoped that we would find a way to get into the downstairs without endangering ourselves. At present, we weren't sure if Amos had booby-trapped the way down.

I was sitting in my home office, playing some very melancholy music. I was still feeling useless. It was as if I was a third wheel. Amos had all but made me useless. I felt like I had no real purpose on the ship.

There was a knock on the front door. Even though I didn't feel like talking to anyone, I opened it, and Dad and Mom stood there.

“Come in,” I told them almost lifelessly.

“You don’t sound like you’re doing very good, Rose,” Dad said as they entered.

“I’m not, Dad. I’ve been removed from command of my own ship by that ass downstairs.”

He nodded, then told me. “We’ve figured something out, Baby.”

I really wasn’t sure if I wanted to be called Baby, but I didn’t say anything. He was my dad, and I loved him very much. He could call me whatever he wanted. I wasn’t going to argue with him.

“What’s that?”

“I've found a way to turn off the bots' ability to be controlled by an outside influence."

I stared. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Why would I kid about this?” he asked.

“Dad, that’s incredible! What do we do?”

He grinned. “It’s so simple, I’m surprised we didn’t realize it.”

“Okay?”

“I suppose we weren’t supposed to know…”

I couldn’t take it anymore. “Dad!”

He laughed, then told me, “There’s a switch in the case for your memory crystals. That switch turns on or off the wireless connection between your crystals and the computers.“

“The crystals resonate on a frequency that the bots are tuned to. That frequency is the only one that the bots in your body can react to. By turning that switch off, your crystals would have to be plugged into the computers to have the programming changed."

Wordlessly, I removed my necklace and opened the back. With my little fingernail, I moved the switch inside, then closed it and put it back on.

“What if I’m infected by some other bots?” I asked.

“Those bots will be destroyed by the bots already in your body.”

“Why would Amos leave that weakness in the bots?” I wondered.

“He programmed the bots to not let us think about it. My guess is he never thought we’d figure it out.”

I shook my head. “I think it’s a great idea to switch off the wireless link, but I can’t believe he never made a fail-safe on this.”

He nodded. “I know what you mean. He did everything else redundantly. Why not this?”

“Exactly, Dad. Was this some kind of trap for us to fall into?”

“We've checked everything we can think of, Rose," Mom told me. "We don't see any other way they could be controlled."

“Mom, I know you and Dad have really covered a lot of ground, but it just seems too easy. You know?”

“I know, Sweetheart. I’m just telling you what we’ve found.”

I understood, but I was very uneasy. It just didn’t seem to make any sense to me.

“Have you turned yours off?” I asked.

“Yes,” Mom answered. “Both of us have.”

“Have you told Rashda?”

“Not yet,” said Dad.

“We’d better, then,” I told them.

We arrived at the auxiliary bridge, and John gave me a dirty look. I wasn't even supposed to be on the bridge. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

“I just told her that I’ve found a way to turn off the bots.”

“Turn off the bots?” Rashda asked. “I thought we had no immune system without them.”

“You’re right,” Mom told him. “However, we’re not talking about shutting the bots down completely. Only turning off their wireless connection to the computers.”

John stared at us. “You’re saying you have a way to beat Amos?”

“No,” Dad told him. “Not that, but he can’t control us anymore.”

We met in the briefing room. Usually, I wasn't allowed in the command center at all. We had no idea what Amos would do if he found me there, but it was a good test of what he could do to us now. John didn't like the idea, but my parents and I figured it was the best thing we could do. We had turned off the connection to our bots, and if Amos noticed, he might do anything. What surprised me, however, was that nothing had been done yet. If Amos was going to, or even could, respond, why had he not? Another mystery to solve.

Rashda sat at the head of the table, and he seemed to be uncomfortable with me sitting at the table as well. At first, I thought he felt like John, but he quickly dispelled that theory.

“I must admit, Rose, it feels strange to be in command with you sitting here as well. I am so sorry that I need to be sitting in this chair right now. I hope to change that as soon as possible.”

“We might be able to sooner rather than later,” Dad told him.

“I agree,” Rashda said, then looked at Doctors Jack and Sylvia. ”The Richards have figured out how to block us from the manipulation of Amos.”

Mom told the same story they had to those in the auxiliary control center, and Sylvia looked at the locket she always wore. It was a different design than my necklace. Her crystals were in her rooms, and the locket controlled them, via the crystal frequency. She opened the locket, and I saw a picture of her and Jack before her transformation inside it. She rubbed her finger along the surface of the image, and it momentarily vanished, replaced by some words. Then the picture was back.

Other people removed their crystals or controllers and opened them. John couldn't get his finger inside to flip the switch, so he handed it to me. I turned the connection off and gave it back.

A moment later, Jack asked my mom. “Are we sure?”

“We’re sure it will protect us now, but we’re not sure if Amos will retaliate.”

Paula nodded. "We've cocked the gun now." She hadn't changed her watchband yet, but she took it off. There were several crystals in it that pulsed in the same color as mine. She opened the back of the watch and put her fingernail inside. A moment later, she closed it and put it back on.

“We need to get everyone to do this,” Rashda said.

He flipped a switch beside him and spoke loudly and clearly. He told them what Mom and Dad had found and how to sever the connection.

Marc turned on a screen beside him, and he watched as lights started turning off all over our half of the ship.

It wasn’t immediate, but after about fifteen minutes, the last of the lights went out.

We were free.

It took us about two more weeks before we came up with an idea that sounded good for getting into the downstairs. Nothing seemed like it would work, but we desperately wanted to see what Amos had done. We had no way to track the people below. We were able to track the people on the upstairs side because we were able to program their crystal vibrations into our computers. It took some time, but we were able to make it work.

Finally, we were able to come up with a way we thought might work for getting downstairs. We were able to make a handheld scanner that would detect the vibration frequency of anyone's’ crystals. It was decided that we would send a team of six into the downstairs to scope things out.

I was entering the briefing room and was shocked when I saw Rashda sitting in my usual chair. The head of the table was empty. Everyone stood when Rashda said, "Welcome back, Commander."

I didn’t know what to say. My mouth dropped open, and I said, “Why are you giving it back to me right now? We don’t know if this is what Amos is waiting for. He might be waiting to see if I take command back!”

“While I doubt that, Rose, I will concede for now.” He got up and walked back to the head, and I sat down in the chair he had vacated. I have to admit, there was a part of me that wanted to regain command, but I didn’t dare yet.

Rashda called the meeting to order, and we talked about how we were going to get a party down. We weren't sure who the people should be, but as we spoke, I became more and more convinced that I should be one of them.

John was dead set against it. “Absolutely not!” he almost bellowed when I suggested it.

“Why, John? Why not?" I was yelling almost as loud as him now.

We shouted at each other for quite some time, and I could see that people were getting very uncomfortable, but I had to make my point. What it came down to was I was going. Plain and simple.

Rashda listened quietly, then finally broke into our argument. “Rose, I will make you a deal."

Six of us were waiting to enter the DMZ. I stood waiting as Marc unlocked the door. John was standing on the other side of the door from me and was glaring. I tried to look away, but I couldn't. He was concerned for me, and that was touching, but at the same time, this was my ship, and I'd be damned if I was going to let some sicko dictate how I ran it.

Paula was beside me, and in reality, I don't think she was any happier with me that John was. Marc stepped back when he opened the door, then he glanced at John and me. He shook his head and then stepped through the doorway himself. I took one look at my scanner and stepped through. As I did, I heard John say, "She is so stubborn!"

As I did my best to melt into the shadows, Paula said, “You married her,” then stepped through herself.

Paula was a gutsy woman. She never made her people go first. Her two security men, Bob and Shane, came through next, followed by John. He glanced at me, shook his head, and closed the door, spinning the wheel to lock it.

We were committed.

We worked our way through the large corridor to the J shaped channel, which led to the command center. Whether anyone would be in there was anybody's guess. The ship had several centuries before anything would be crossing its path, so there was really no need.

Just in case, however, we slipped through to the command ring. We split up, and three of us went one way, while three went the other. No surprise, John accompanied me, along with Bob. Paula, Marc, and Shane went to the left.

I held the scanner while we made our way around the ring. It was dark, and the scanner would show if any bots were in the area. It was programmed to let me know if any of our team was near. It would recognize the frequency that they used, but it would locate the signal of any other bots as well. I kept a close eye on it.

About a third of the way to the other side, I whispered, "Wait!" John and Bob both froze in their tracks. Over the years, John and I had learned sign language as a hobby, and we were very fluent in it. I doubted that Bob knew it, but when I signed what I saw on the scanner to John, Bob nodded as well. He hurried across the corridor and waited there. He signed for John and me to position ourselves on either side of the door, and he would trip it. When whoever was in the room came out, we were to incapacitate them.

I looked at John, and he shrugged, then moved to the right side of the door. I moved to the left, and Bob slowly moved to withing range.

We heard the chime of the door as it warned anyone on the inside that it was going to open, and we braced ourselves.

The door swung slowly inward then stopped. A moment later, some kind of nightmare rushed out of the opening.

I had never seen anything like it and hoped never to again. It moved with superhuman speed toward Bob, who reflexively jumped out of the way.

I screamed. I tried not to, but this thing scared the crap out of me! It stopped almost immediately and turned it's head completely around and stared at me. Its eyes were incredibly large and unblinking. I saw that it appeared to be covered by chitin, or something to make up an armored shell around it. It wore no clothes, and its hands swung up backwards. They had claws that looked as sharp as a knife blade, and they were flexing as it seemed to consider cutting me to ribbons.

It jumped. I don't know how it could do it, but it seemed to be able to move whichever way its head was facing equally well. It flew through the air at me, and I ducked, hoping to at least get out of the way of its blades.

I heard a gun go off multiple times, and as I hit the floor, I thought, "Well, so much for stealth," then I felt a crushing weight on me, and I blacked out.

I woke up a few minutes later. I was hurting, but even as I lay there, I could feel a couple of broken ribs mending. About ten minutes later, I was able to stand up. I thought the creature might have cracked a couple of vertebrae, but there was no pain now.

“Let’s go,” John said as he started down the corridor.

“Wrong way!” I called after him.

“No, it's not. You're going back upstairs."

I ran to catch up and planted myself right in front of him. "I. Am. Not."

“Rose, would you stop trying to be the leader? Let others do their jobs?”

“Really! And who put me in command on N21 all those years ago? It was you! I didn’t want command back then, but you said I was the only one you trusted! So why won’t you trust me now!?”

He stood there, and I saw his face go through multiple contortions. He was obviously trying to figure out something to say, but it just wasn’t coming to him. Finally, he turned around and started walking. “Come on.”

I was glad he was looking away because I broke into a wide smile.

We didn't encounter any more creatures, but as we got closer to the bridge, I heard what sounded like someone crying. Suddenly, I realized who it was. "That's Paula!" I cried and started running.

“Dammit!” I heard John say, as he and Bob started running too. We rounded the corner into the Bridge access tunnel, and I stopped. I could just see Paula inside the bridge. She was sitting on the floor, her knees drawn up to her chest, weeping. Marc was standing outside the doorway, looking in, and he was absolutely white.

Shane stepped in front of us, holding out his hand to stop us. “Please, don’t go in there,” he implored. “It’s horrible.”

“What is it?” John asked.

“Fred’s head is sitting in the security position.”

“Where’s his body?” I asked.

“We don’t know.” Shane started turning gray. “Uh… Kari’s head is sitting on Marc’s console. We don’t know where her body is either.”

I stared at my sister, then pushed by Shane. I stopped and gave Marc a hug and told him I was so sorry, then moved to my sister.

I knelt down and pulled her to me, cradling her in my arms. I heard John speaking softly to Marc. “We’re gonna get this bastard, Marc,” he said. “You can count on that. He is not going to get away with this shit.”

“Bob, would you please escort Marc and Paula back to the upstairs?” he asked.

“No!” Marc shouted it. “I am going to personally kill that son of a bitch!”

“I’m going to help,” Paula said as she sat up. She looked me square in the eye. “I am going to cut his head off and feed it into the recycle bin, bit by bit.”

John looked back and forth from one to the other. “As stubborn as Rose,” he muttered.

“You’re damned right, Marc said as he pushed off from the wall.

“Fair enough.”

“Paula?” I gave her another hug.

She nodded once, then rose unsteadily to her feet. "I want Amos dead," she growled. "I want him completely and irreversibly dead."

She walked over to Marc and stood in front of him. “Whoever finds him first kills him. The other one gets to destroy his memory crystals. Deal?”

He shook her hand. “Deal.”

She turned to her officers. “If one of you has the opportunity to destroy that bastard, you will not do it. You will detain him for either Marc or myself. Is that clear?”

They both nodded, and she turned to John and me. “The same goes for you.”

“Wait a minute!” John began.

“I MEAN IT, JOHN!" I had never heard her so mad. "I had him killed once, and apparently the guy didn't do it properly. Well, that's not going to happen again! He took my baby sister, and he killed my husband and my best friend. He doesn't get to live, DO YOU UNDERSTAND, JOHN? ROSE?” We both nodded.

There was little else we could do.

To Not Let Go

Chapter 3.2

As we approached the door to the downstairs, we began to hear what sounded like excited shouting. It was like people were watching a sport of some kind. We arrived behind a line of men cheering and stomping their feet. They were dressed in what looked like simple white togas like I had seen in pictures of Ancient Rome.

We stood there for a moment, then one of the men turned a bit and caught sight of us. “My friends!” he exclaimed, almost musically. “You appear to be new here!” He spoke animatedly until he caught sight of me. "Child! What are you doing dressed so shamefully?"

A centurion must have heard because he turned and looked at us. "What!?" He hurried toward us, followed by several more, and grabbed my arm roughly. Another saw Paula and caught her in the same way. A third pulled his sword when it appeared that John was going to fight.

"You allow your women to dress like this?" the one with the sword was shocked. "Take these to the cells."

They led Paula and me away, while the men went in another direction. As we were dragged, I caught sight of a chariot. An honest to God chariot! It was black with gold trim, and it was moving swiftly. What was strange, however, was that four women were pulling it! They were naked, except for some kind of hat with feathers, and odd boots that looked like horse hooves. They had bits in their mouths, and each was wearing a bridle. Their arms were tied together behind their backs, and they were running all out. The chariot driver was using a whip and yelling for them to go faster.

Paula and I looked at each other, our eyes wide.

We were led to a room where there was a post and a man with a whip. I was scared. They fastened Paula to a ring on top of the post and ripped her clothes off. A guard who could see her front gasped. "It's a pony!"

“I’m not a pony!” Paula yelled at the guard.

The man with the whip walked around and saw her pubic area. "This is some kind of trick," he said. "It can't talk."

“What about that one?” asked the guard.

Two of the men grabbed my arms and pulled them around the front of their bodies. Then they leaned me forward, so I couldn't fight them. Another man ripped my clothes off from behind, then I was pulled straight up.

“Another pony!”

I tried to argue with them, but something was fastened around my head, and a bit shoved into my mouth. My arms were tied behind my head, and the strange horse hoof shoes clamped onto my feet.

While they were doing this to me, I saw Paula receiving the same treatment. Once they were done, We were led off to what appeared to be an auction block.

Sure enough, they were auctioning off several 'animals' They were obviously all women. Still, some had extra breasts and were referred to as cows. Others were covered in some kind of 'wool' and were sheep. There was a wide variety, but the ponies were the only ones that looked like normal women. It was no wonder they thought of us that way. What I couldn't figure out were the women we had seen on our way here. They were obviously women, but.

It suddenly hit me. Amos liked men. He was offended when I turned out to be a real woman. The boy he had taken to be his nighttime toy was made to be as feminine as possible. They called us ponies when they saw us naked. All the 'women' we had seen were males that Amos had feminized!

I was led up to the platform, and I wondered what the ‘women’ thought of the situation. I looked around but received a lash on the back with the whip. "Straight ahead, you damned beast!” the man with the whip commanded. He didn’t have to tell me twice.

“This pony," the auctioneer yelled, "was found with its previous owner as he was watching the races. He has been taken to the circus where he will fight the lions. He had his pony wearing male clothing!"

The crowd roared their displeasure. “What am I bid?” the auctioneer shouted.

The bidding started in earnest, and it seemed to go on a long time. Finally, it settled between two men who appeared to be quite wealthy. They went up and up, and then one was forced to drop out. The other one motioned for a servant to go and collect me, apparently, and I was led off the platform to him.

As I was led down, I heard the same story being told. Obviously, Paula was being sold. I was not able to tell who 'bought' her, though, as some kind of blinders were fixed to my face, which didn't allow me any peripheral vision, then I was led off.

We passed through the connecting tunnels between several bays. Eventually, we went through the U corridor, which took us through to the outside section of a bay. We were upside down from where he had been, but the gravity made it impossible to tell. As I was led into a stable, I heard men shouting commands, and whinnies, interspersed with the occasional crack of a whip. I hated to think that those whinnies were women, just like me.

I was backed into a cramped stall, and a rope was fastened to the halter I was wearing. It was then wrapped around a hook above me and out of my reach. The gate was shut, and I was left alone.

I took stock of my situation and saw that it was terrible. My arms were still uncomfortably fastened together behind my back, so I couldn't reach anything to release myself. My feet were incredibly sore in the boots. The stall wasn't big enough for me to sit down, let alone lay. Also, the rope that fastened me to the ceiling was only sufficiently short for me to get a mouthful of hay or some of the filthy water in the trough.

I guess it was nearly two hours later that my ‘new owner’ arrived. He had a bucket of something that he set down on the floor, then he opened the gate.

I tried to tell him that I wasn’t a horse, but I couldn’t speak clearly around the bit that was still in my mouth. I received a slap on the backside for my efforts.

“I’ve been told that you somehow speak. I’ve never seen a pony that speaks, nor do I need one. The next time you try, you will receive the whip. Is that clear?” Then he laughed. “Look at me, thinking that you can understand me.”

Once more, I tried. I didn't want the whip, but I did want free. True to his word, the man disappeared for a moment and came back with a strap. There was not much room in the stall, but somehow, when the thing touched my backside, it was excruciating. As he clipped it to the railing just within my vision, I saw that it had electric contacts and some kind of triggering mechanism on the handle.

“Don’t make my turn it up,” he told me. “You’re a valuable Buckskin, and I don’t want to do any lasting damage to your hide.”

“That wasn't the highest setting? Shit! I really didn't want to feel it any more powerful. I decided that when this asshole was near, I would do my best to act like the other 'ponies.'

To try it out, I gave a little whinny, and he laughed. “Good pony,” he said. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out an apple and knife. He sliced the apple into sections and held it up to my face. It was hard to eat with the bit in my mouth, but I tried.

“Oh! I'm gonna have to talk to my stable boy. He was supposed to take that bit out." He reached up and unhooked it from the bridle, and set it on the stall railing, then gave me some more apple. I felt ridiculous standing there naked, eating an apple from the hand of someone who thought I was a pony, but I had to do it.

When I had finished it, he poured something from the pail into the hay trough. Oats. He shut and locked the gate, took his equipment, and left. Once more, I was alone except for the 'ponies' around me.

I looked around, but I didn't see anyone familiar. There were some women in another section that looked odd. They were quite large and seemed to be bent over at the waist. I wondered what they were supposed to be, but I couldn't get a good look, and it was getting dark anyway. It seemed cruel to me, as the owner had come in wearing a jacket, and here we were, standing naked.

I was very sore the next morning. My arms were numb from being in their position for so long, and my feet were killing me. I desperately wanted to lie down so I could sleep, but it didn’t look like any of the ponies were allowed that.

Apparently, the other women had gotten used to it. They seemed energetic when the owner came in, followed by some other men.

“They’re frisky today,” one of the newcomers commented. “Must be the new one. Have you decided what You’re going to call it, Hal?”

“Rose, I think.”

“That’s an odd name for a pony.”

“I had a dream last night. There was a woman in it who looked remarkably like this pony, named Rose.” He laughed. She was in some position of authority.”

The others laughed as well.

So there is something of their real selves left, I thought to myself. I wonder if we can get through to them.

One man disappeared for a moment, and he brought back what looked like some calipers. He measured my arms and my waist at various angles, then left.

“You’ll find that I’m a nice owner, Rose.” He patted my cheek. “I use Irons on my expensive ponies. Much more humane than the binders.”

He walked away, and I wondered what the hell irons were.

I didn’t have much time to wonder, however. A few minutes later, a man came in. He pulled the rope fastened to my halter tight, and then put a stool on the ground in front of me. He took a tool and removed the clamp from my boot, which promptly fell off my foot.

“What the hell?" he murmured. "Oh well. Have to fasten it the other way." He looked up at me and said, "Sorry about this, Rose."

He clamped the boot back on, then took out what looked like a drill. It was. I screamed as he drilled through my lower leg and then jammed a bolt through it. "Sorry," he mumbled as he drilled another hole through my foot and fastened a bolt. Then he brought out a wire feed welder and proceeded to weld the bolts and nuts into place. I passed out.

When I awoke, both feet were throbbing, but at least it was bearable. My bots must be working on healing them.

I fell asleep again and woke up when I heard someone opening the gate. I looked to see what was in store for me now and saw something new, which scared me more than anything I had been through already. They were holding some time of metal corset with attachments for my arms to be fixed behind me.

They removed the bindings from my arms, which were too numb to fend them off, then I heard them put some clamps over them. What scared me most, however, was when I saw the same drill. My arms were numb, but I still felt the drill bit go through. Once more, I passed out from the pain

When I awoke, I knew I was welded into the corset. My sides felt burnt, and I couldn’t bend my waist. So this was the Irons., It was more humane than the bindings? Really?

I didn’t know how long I had been here now. Was it hours? Days? There was no way I could be sure. A man came in and hooked a lead up to one of the bigger women. “Come on, Belinda,” He said. She moved forward, and he told her, “Good horse.”

So she was what they considered a horse. Wait a minute. He called her Belinda. Was this the same Belinda I knew? I looked at her face, and I felt sick. It was! This was Rashda’s wife!

Her arms were longer than they should be, and they were fastened into boots as were her feet. She had a metal corset welded on as well, At the base of her spine, a tail was hanging.

The stable hand led her to a spot near my stall and brought out a saddle. He placed it on her back and fastened it around her middle, then led her out.

I felt sick. This was the first person I recognized here, and she was transformed into something non-human.

I had been a pony for a long time, of that I’m sure. I had been trained as a pony, and even took part in a couple of chariot races. My owner was happy with the way I was working out and rewarded me well. I was given oats whenever I behaved appropriately.

Whenever he called me Rose, something triggered in my mind, but it was getting less and less each time. I was coming to believe that I had always been a pony.

Then, one day I was led out of my stall and hitched to a single pony buggy. My owner took me a long way, through winding city streets, and eventually to some enormous building. He unhitched me from the carriage and tried to lead me up the steps to the building. I balked. I had never climbed stairs before. He reached into his jacket pocket, where he kept an abundant supply of apples and sugar cubes and held one of the cubes up to my mouth. I eagerly ate it, and he backed up a step. This time, I followed, and we eventually made it up.

When we got to the massive doors, the centurion there exclaimed, “You can’t bring that thing in here!”

“I’ve got orders from the emperor himself.”

“I doubt that!”

“Are you calling me a liar?” My owner’s hand went to his sword.

The centurion placed his hand around the pommel of his sword as well.

“And what are you going to tell the Emperor when he finds that you didn’t let me follow my orders?” My owner asked the centurion.

The bigger man looked confused for a moment, then thought better of fighting. “Go ahead. If the Emperor doesn’t like you taking the ‘thing’ in there, it’s up to you to explain things to him.” He looked at me with a disgusted expression. “And if it makes a mess on the floor, I will have roasted pony for dinner.”

My owner led me in, and the guards posted at the door to the throne room opened them without question. Apparently, they had heard that I was to come in. I was led to a place standing beside three men. One of them cried out my name as I stopped. I think it was the one beside me.

I heard the crack of a whip, and I shook. I hadn’t felt one for a long time, and I didn’t want to now.

I stood there, nervously for several minutes. Finally, I heard another pony's shoes clicking as it walked up beside me. I tried to turn my head to see it, but my owner wouldn't let me.

I was confused. I recognized the voice of the man who had called my name. Why?

A moment later, everything flooded back to my mind. A man white as quartz entered the room. He turned to look at us, with disdain on his face.

Amos!

I knew who was beside me now, on both sides. Paula was on my left, and John, my husband, was on my right. I had been a pony for so long that I forgot reality!

Amos looked at me and smiled. “So, Rose, how do you like being a pony?” He turned slightly to take in Paula. “Did you like my present for you, Paul?”

Neither of us could speak with the bits in our mouths.

Amos turned and moved back to the throne. The legs were designed to look like four women, carved out of wood, with the seat positioned on their heads.

“Is this your pony, my Lord?" my owner asked the bastard as he sat on the throne. I was sure I heard one of the wooden women moan as he sat.

They were real women, I realized.

“It is now,” Amos told him. “The other one too.”

“My Lord,” cried Paula’s owner, “I paid good money for this pony.”

“And I’m taking it for tribute!” Amos responded angrily. “You’re damned lucky I don’t demand your life for insubordination!”

He stood and walked to the edge of the dais. “Begone! Both of you!”

Hal, as I remembered his name to be, didn’t challenge Amos at all. The other man bowed stiffly and left.

The self-proclaimed Emperor turned and walked back to his throne. As he sat, the woman moaned again. Amos stood and looked down at her. He clapped his hands, and someone came in quickly. "This leg is defective. Replace it, then put the old one in the incinerator. There is no need for a leg on my throne to make noise like this."

The man exited, and a few minutes later, he led out a girl who looked about thirteen years old. He had her kneel in the same posture as the others and touched a control on a remote. The girl quickly transformed into wood like the rest of them.

I watched as he removed a very long bolt from the chair that had obviously gone into the girl's wooden head, then exchanged them. He put the bolt in the new one, and Amos sat down.

“As you have probably noticed, I have very little respect for women. I see no reason for them at all as I can make any obedient person with my bots. Women are superfluous.

“You, John, are who I always hated. You and your smug manner." He looked back at me. "You were so easy to manipulate, Gene. I always knew you would be. You always seemed to care when we were children. You being female now, just made things easier. Your emotions on your sleeve could be used so easily."

“All of you present a challenge to me. You have disabled your connection to my nanobots. I applaud you. However, sheer force can overcome you.”

He clapped his hands again, and the man who had replaced the girl as a chair leg returned. Take the ponies and turn them into…. Let's see. It has to be something where they are restrained. Ah, yes. Put Rose into the new chandelier and Paula. Let's see. What to do with Paula." He eyed her for several minutes. Finally, he said, "Surprise me but make sure she cannot move. I don't want any still life decorations moving."

With that, he stood, and shouted, "Return the men to the games."

Then Paula and I were out of the throne room.

To Not Let Go

Chapter 3.3

Paula and I were quickly separated again. I was taken into an outbuilding behind the palace. I have no idea where they took Paula or if I would ever see her again.

I was locked in a stable once again, as a pony. This time, all I got was hay and disgusting water. I had no time to get out of the stall and move around. Nobody talked to me. In fact, I saw no one except the person who brought me the hay and water.

The bit was left in my mouth as well, so I had to try to eat around it, which was not easy. It was nineteen days until someone came in and let me out of the stall. I was walked into another building, which felt like a chamber of horrors.

I watched, thunderstruck, as a woman I knew walked in, disrobed, put on some leather catsuit, and positioned herself to be bolted into a chandelier. I saw that there would be one spot left, which I assumed was for me when she was 'installed.'

I could quickly run, but I had no way of removing the metal corset or the hoof boots I was wearing, let alone the bit and bridle.

I knew if I escaped, someone would find me and bring me back. I was a captive animal. At least until I had more flexibility.

I waited for several minutes while the corset was removed from my body and arms. I felt an enormous pain where the bolts had gripped gone through my arms, and I smelled burning flesh. I was reeling from the cauterization, but I had no time to waste.. My arms were like rubber and virtually useless, but I knew they would be repaired by my bots in a few hours.

My legs, however, were entirely different. They were still fit, and I had the hoof boots on. John and I had developed a fighting style that we used to hone our skills and strength. I kicked behind me at what I estimated would be the right height for male genitalia. I felt the connection, then spun around, using my other leg to take out the person on my right. I landed in a crouch as the third man tried to grab one of my useless, flapping arms, but he left his rib-cage exposed. I still had that silly helmet with the red plumes on my head. When the spike that the plumes were fixed to hit his chest, I heard a rib crack, then felt a warm fluid spray onto me.

I knew I had probably killed him, as the spray probably came directly from his heart. The bots couldn’t fix that wound before he died.

As I was running out, I wondered if his death bots would be like other ones, and trigger some program changes.

I didn't know where to go, so I went into the barn and hid behind some haystacks. I was worried that my escape might affect the others, but if I had been put in that chandelier, I might have been there forever.

That being said, I was anxious about everyone. Paula was especially vulnerable.

I heard people yelling, and someone running by outside the barn. It was quiet for a while, and then I heard someone calling my name. I almost responded when I realized that I wasn’t one of my team.

“Rose! The Emperor has your friends in the palace. If you don’t come out, they will die!”

I tried to flex my fingers, and amazingly, I could move them. They were still somewhat numb, but at least my arms wouldn’t flap uselessly at my sides.

I reached up and, after several tries, found the buckle for the halter and bridle. Gratefully I took them off and threw them to the floor.

It felt so good to be able to remove them myself rather than waiting for someone else to do it. I didn’t have the tools to remove the boots, but I reasoned that I had been trained to run in them, and they could be used as formidable weapons.

For the first time in who knew how long, I felt exposed in my nakedness. I stood up carefully and stepped out of the building. A guard spotted me almost immediately and came running. My arms weren't strong enough to fight with yet, so I resorted to hooves. I hit him hard, and I'm afraid the horseshoe built onto the bottom injured him severely.

Two more guards started toward me, and I think I surprised them by running at them. When I estimated I was close enough, I jumped, catching both of them in the throat with my feet. They went down hard. As I was picking myself off the ground, I felt someone grab my arm. It was Hal!

“Are you really Rose Carlson?” he asked me.

I didn’t know what to say, but I was tired of all this. I nodded while preparing to fight.

“Come on! We haven’t any time to waste!”

He started running, holding my arm, but I faltered. He stopped and told me, “Fine. You need to come, but do it willingly.”

“Where are we going?” I asked. “Back to your stable?”

“To rescue the others.” He started running toward the palace again, this time without pulling me.

What the hell, I thought, and followed him.

We stopped at a side door, and I watched as he carefully opened a door. “The guards don’t know how to think for themselves anymore. They’re almost as dumb as the women that I care for.”

“What is going on?” I demanded.

“Rose, we don’t have time. I’ll explain everything as soon as we rescue the others, I promise.”

I sighed but followed him into the building. I didn't like the situation, but I was prepared if something went wrong.

We wound through the building, and eventually went up some stairs and came to an opening. I could hear Amos speaking, then another voice. It was John!

Hal grabbed my arm. “Please trust me.”

“For the moment,” I told him.

He nodded. “Good enough.” He took my arm and told me, “Just go with it.”

He led me out of our hiding place and tensed his hand muscles, so it appeared that he had a tight grip. "I found this pony, my Lord."

Amos turned to look at us. “And what were you doing on the grounds?” he asked accusingly. “Guards!”

“Oh well," Hal said as he let go of my arm. He grabbed a spear from one of the centurions who still hadn't figured out what was going on and used the butt end to hit him between the legs. I, meanwhile, had rushed to the throne with a sword. I grabbed Amos by the shirt front, and happily, my arms were working now. I stood him up and prepared to separate his head from his body.

“Rose, No!” It was John, who ran up behind me and grabbed it before I could swing.

“Right,” I said. “This is Marc’s job.”

“It's no ones right now," Marc said as he walked up behind John. I looked around and saw that all the guards had been taken care of. They were simply too slow-witted and clumsy—no match for men who had survived in the circus.

“What do you mean?” I asked Marc.

Hal walked up and said, “We need his knowledge to restore the rest of the people.”

I released my grip on the sword, and John took it away from me. I started to shake, probably going into shock. If John hadn't stopped me, we could very well have lost any way of turning people back.

“You should have let her,” Amos said.

“And lose your knowledge?” Bob asked. “Not likely!”

“But you see, little child, I’m not really here.” His body started to change. He became a man that I found vaguely familiar, then his head separated from his body and fell to the floor.

I still had hold of his shirt, but I promptly released my grip. I felt like throwing up, but John turned me to the door. “Come on, Hal,” he yelled.

“I can’t! I have to care for the women at my ranch!”

John stopped. "You've been seen here. These people might be slow-witted, but they'll be able to recognize you."

Then Hal did something I hated but understood. He took the spear and put it through the heart of every guard in the room. "There lives as payment for the safety of the women in my care."

I was in shock, and I saw that Marc was green as well. John grabbed our arms, and we ran like hell.

We left the throne room, heading toward the door, but Marc turned right. He charged a guard with his head down and hit the man in the chest. With a whooshing sound, the air left the mans lungs, and he fell, gasping for breath. Without even seeming to pause, Marc grabbed the man’s spear and thrust it into his right chest.

“I hope you don't have dextrocardia," he said just before he ran to a statue. I knew it was a real woman, but she was covered with a form-fitting blue velvet fabric.

“Bob!” Marc yelled as he reached behind the woman and appeared to rip something from her body. “It’s Paula! Come on!”

Bob grabbed her feet, and Marc her legs, and we went in search of a place to hide until it was dark.

We had found a storeroom in some kind of temple and were trying to be quiet.

The men were attempting to free Paula, but it was proving difficult. The material looked like velvet but didn't want to rip. The position she was in made it difficult, but they finally turned her onto her side. The seam was tiny, but I saw finally found it. I carefully inserted a knife underneath the threads and started slicing them one by one.

It took over an hour, but eventually, I had the covering opened from her head to her backside. I pulled it off her face, but we found another problem. It looked like she was encased in some kind of lightweight metal. I started working on her left arm, and John started on her right.

It took nearly an hour, but we had her free of the material. But, now we had the metal to worry about. Again, I looked for a seam, but even if I found one, I didn't see how I could get it off of her. I was going to need a saw for this.

I finally found a seam starting at her wrist and going to her shoulder. There was a seam going all the way around her wrist as well. I took her hand and wiggled it back and forth. A moment later, it came loose in my grasp.

I screamed and dropped it! John quickly put his hand over my mouth to silence me. He was looking at the hand with revulsion as well. The arm, metal had slid out of the shoulders, and we could see her arm, just without a hand.

Without the arms there, several more seams became apparent. There were catches that the arm pieces hooked onto, which allowed the torso to come loose. Once that was off, we were able to release Paula's head and legs.

She was awake and gave me a huge hug, then I gently pulled out the feeding and waste tubes.

She tried to talk, but her throat was too dry. I hurried over to a janitorial sink. There wasn’t anything to put water in, so I asked John to turn on the cold water.

I did my best not to spill the water as I moved to my sister. She was still weak, and the hug had sapped her strength. Marc helped her lift her head, and I trickled the water into her mouth. It took a couple of times to get her enough water. Despite my best efforts, I spilled plenty.

She would need food for her bots to manufacture new hands for her, but at least we had her alive.

Late that night, we made our way to the corridors, which would take us upstairs to our own side of the ship. They were unguarded. We slipped in and cautiously made our way past the J tubes for the command level, then on to the sealed doors into our ring. Marc punched in the access code and turned the wheel. We could hear the seal release, and then it was open. We stepped through.

I was in the hospital, with my feet freshly removed from my hoof boots, when Rashda came by. He and John sat down by my bed, and we discussed things. Apparently, we had been gone for almost six months. I had known I had been a pony for a long time, but that just sounded impossible.

“You were starting to believe that you’d always been one, Rose,” John gently reminded me.

“I wasn’t starting to, John. I had gotten to where I completely believed it. The only thing keeping me halfway sane was the fact that Hal called me Rose.”

“Why is that?” Rashda asked.

“Something clicked whenever he did. It was like a feeling that not everything was right.”

“That’s probably why Hal called you that. So you had something to hold onto during the time.”

“If he wanted to give me something to hold onto, why was there any time as a pony at all?” I knew my voice was rising, but at the moment, I really didn’t care..

The fact that I’d been brainwashed into thinking I was a pony made me think of the other women in that stable. Perhaps Hal was benevolent, but he was still keeping women against their will.

I said as much to Rashda.

“What will do they have?” He asked. “They don’t know any better. From what you and John have told me, they have no idea that they are not what they have always been.”

I suddenly remembered Belinda, Rashda’s wife. She was there, in that stable as well. I wondered what he would think of that.

We talked about more things that happened, and then Rashda surprised me by saying that as soon as I was up and around, he was returning command to me. What?

“I don’t think so, Rashda,” I objected.

“Why not,” he asked me.

“For six months, I’ve been a pony, and you think I’m ready to go back to command?”

“We’ll see.”

That night, I had a terrible dream.

I was once again in my tack, unable to move my arms, and fastened to a hitching post. John was standing just a few feet away, negotiating a price with someone who was hidden in shadows.

I couldn’t see who it was, but the voice was a man’s. After a few minutes, I heard John tell him, “That sounds acceptable.” He turned away from the person, patted my cheek, said, “Bye, Rosie,” and walked away.

The person moved out of the shadows, and it was Kari! As she moved toward me, her skin seemed to slough off, and it became Amos!

I jerked awake, screaming. John was sitting beside me, and pulled me over to him. I pushed him away. “What’s wrong, Rosie?”

“No!” I yelled. “Don’t call me that!”

He backed up, a shocked look on his face.

“I’m sorry,” I told him. “I just had a nightma… a horrible dream.”

He sat for a moment. “I think I understand.” He held out his arms, without touching me, and he had a questioning look on his face.

I nodded, and he lowered the rail on the side of the bed, and sat down. He pulled me close, and this time, though I flinched at first, I was able to snuggle in.

I fell asleep sometime later, and I awoke with my head laying on his chest. He had leaned back, and his legs and neck had to have been killing him, because he hadn’t really moved from his seated position, but was fast asleep.

“John,” I said, shaking him gently.

“Wha…?” He looked around, and then sat up. I could hear his back cracking as he did. “That’s gonna leave a mark,” He joked.

“I’m not done sleeping, John, but I seem to feel a lot better with you to hold onto. Would you mind…” I gave him the best doe eyes I could.

“Move over,” he told me with a grin. I was happy to, but I gasped when I did. For some reason, my arms and feet were still sore. I’d have to talk to Dr. Jack or Sylvia about it in the morning. “Still sore?” He asked me.

“Yeah. It’s strange. I’d have thought the bots would have fixed everything by now.”

He reached over and pushed the button to call one of the doctors.

Sylvia came in, and I explained the situation to her.

She nodded gravely. “John, I’m sorry to ask, but can you move to the chair for a few minutes?”

John complied, with a worried look on his face. I know mine had to have mirrored his. What was going on?

She uncovered my arms and peeled back the bandages. She grimaced and shook her head slightly.

“Doc?” John asked her.

She sighed. “I wasn’t sure what was going to happen here, so I didn’t say anything.”

Now, I was really getting scared. For her to not say anything to me about something, it had to be bad.

She uncovered my feet and legs, then removed the bandages. She winced, then said. “I’m going to get Jack. Just relax, okay?”

“Uh… Okay. Easy for you to say,” I told her.

She hurried out, and John got up and took a look at the wounds. He stared for a long moment, then sat down without a word.

“What is it?” I asked him.

“I don’t know, Hon,” he told me. “Medicine isn’t my specialty.”

“But it isn’t healing, obviously.”

He shook his head.

“Does it look like anything has healed there?”

“I don’t know.”

I moved my feet a bit, and the pain returned, bringing tears to my eyes. I tried to keep a good face on it and said, “I won’t be doing that again.” I tried to laugh a bit, but it came out more of a gasp.

Jack and Sylvia entered the room. Jack did a very thorough inspection of my feet and legs, even touching one of the wounds.

“Uh, Doctor,” I said through gritted teeth. “Please don’t do that again.”

Sylvia had been working on a tablet, and she looked up when I said it. “It shouldn’t take me long, Dear,” she told Jack. “I’ll be back pretty quick.”

John looked at Jack quizzically. “Where’s she going?”

“She’s a wiz in the lab, John. We’re going to make some good, old fashioned, acetaminophen for you, Rose.”

“What’s that?” John asked, suspiciously. He was always very protective of me. He had been as a child, and nothing had changed in the millennium plus that we’d been married.

“It’s a drug that reduces pain and swelling. We’ve just never needed it with the bots.”

“So why do you need it now?”

“There’s something wrong with Rose’ bots. They’re numbers are shrinking.”

I felt my stomach go cold. Without them, I wouldn’t have any immune system. I said as much to Jack.

“Well, Rose, you’re in luck there. The bots are quite powerful, and we have a feeling that any disease aboard the ship has been eradicated a long time ago.”

“What about….” John paused searching for the word. “What did they call it. An infraction?”

Jack chuckled. “No. I think you mean an infection. We’re working on that.”

“We’ve got to keep the wounds clean, and reduce contamination.”

"Why are my bots disappearing?” I wanted to know.

Jack sighed. “If your bots were eradicated, a new supply, resonating on a different frequency could be put in their place.”

“And I could be controlled again,” I finished.

Jack just nodded.

---

I'd like to give a special thanks to Malady and Monica Rose for helping with beta reading. :-)

To Not Let Go

Chapter 3.4

I looked at my arms and legs. “Did Amos put something in me that stops the bots from continuing?”

“Your parents are on the way. They know more about bots than anyone,” Jack told me.

A moment later, Sylvia entered the room and gave me a glass of something to drink. It tasted horrible, and I barely got it down. After I drank the wretched stuff, I closed my eyes. I think I heard the doctors leave, then I felt John get on the bed with me again. I leaned into him as best I could without making my limbs hurt more, and tried to sleep.

Whether I did or not is anyone's guess. I just knew I heard John's voice very quickly, and opened my eyes. My Dad and Mom were standing in the doorway, and a few minutes later, Jack and Sylvia came into the room as well. I sat up as best I could, and John swung his legs over the edge of the bed, offering to help prop me up, as leaning on my arms would be uncomfortable.

“Well, Rosie,” Dad said, “This is a bit of a problem.” My stomach did a flip-flop at his words. Much as I knew none of us was immortal, I still didn’t want to die anytime soon.

“How?”

“I've checked out the metal used in your boots. The boots were coated inside with an alloy that would stop the reproduction of your bots. The normal cycle of a bot is about nine months, so the only bots you had left were the ones made within the three months before you went downstairs."

“That couldn't have been a regular alloy. That was a normal thing for a pony. Some of the horses like Belinda had…" I realized what I had just said.

“Belinda?” John asked. “As in Belinda Smythe?”

My throat was suddenly dry. I nodded.

“You didn’t say anything,” Mom commented.

“How could I tell Rashda that her body has been changed. Enlarged and made to be a quadruped, so that she can hold a saddle big enough to carry a man?”

Mom paused for a few moments. “Does she know who she is?”

I shook my head. “She’s a horse. That’s it. I don’t know if there’s anything left of those people downstairs to try to restore them.”

I wasn’t really interested in talking after that, but I still heard what my parents had to say. Dad told me that he was going to inject me with new nanobots tuned to my crystals. I would need to be in isolation for a little while as they slowly built my supply up.

It appeared that Amos was planning on putting a new set of bots in me that was tuned to a different frequency.

Before Daddy left, he turned back. “Each person down there has their memories stored in their crystals. Unless those have been destroyed, we should be able to bring them back. The one problem is returning their bodies to normal, although if I can find copies of their DNA, that won’t be a problem.”

”Rose.” My name was whispered. “Rose.” A little louder that time.

“Hmmm," I said as I snuggled into my pillow a little deeper.

“Rose.” Paula spoke that time, and I sat up.

“Owww!" I felt like screaming, but I held back. Sitting up had put a bit of pressure on the holes in my arms. I think the cauterization had broken loose in one spot.

“Sorry, Sis,” Paula told me as she put some pressure on the now bleeding spot on my arm.

“Ow!” This time, I did yell, and poor John, who was in his chair asleep, with his head leaning against the wall, sat forward.

“What’s going on?” He asked.

“Well, as long as you're awake, would you call a doctor?" Paula asked.

He didn't question it but just did.

A couple of minutes later, Sylvia entered. When she saw what Paula was doing, she hurried out of my room, then back in, carrying a tray with some supplies.

"What happened?"

"I jumped, and I think I injured my arm, " I told her.

"Uh, huh." I watched as she pulled a small curved needle out of her kit and some black thread.

"Uh, Doctor?" Not since I was very young had I had any of the treatments I was getting now. I was slightly nervous.

"It's going to take a few months before your bots can take on the task of keeping you healthy, not to mention healing any trauma. This will hopefully help you heal." She poured something on my arm, which stung at first, but then the wound went numb. I sighed in relief as she started to sew something.

She removed the bandages from my leg and looked closely. She took a magnifier and placed it over her eyes, then bent close. She had sewn the wounds when they removed the boots, and now, she took a pair of tweezers and touched the edge of the injury. I jumped! It hurt like hell!

"I thought that stuff was supposed to help kill the pain?"

"Be glad I gave it to you, " she told me.

"Oh."

She straightened. "I'll be right back."

She didn't come back immediately, but Daddy did enter.

"Sylvia said you needed to see me."

"Well, I didn't know that, but you're always welcome," I told him.

He pulled up a chair to the end of my bed and looked at my legs under a scope just like Sylvia had. He shook his head, then asked Paula to roll up her sleeves.

He looked at her the same way, then asked John if he could see his hand.

John held out a hand, and Daddy brought out a scalpel. John pulled his hand back quickly. "Now wait a minute, Dad. What's going on?"

"I can definitely tell you that Paula and Rosie have no granulation of new tissue in their wounds."

Sylvia walked in, along with Jack, at that moment.

"We knew that the bots replaced the immune system. They handle the healing also. Apparently, our bodies don't have that mechanism on their own anymore, " Daddy explained.

"You think they might have sabotaged my bots as well?"

"When was the last circus fight you were in?"

"It's been a while, " John admitted. Probably four months ago. We were in prison for a while, though."

"Uh, huh. Can I see your hand?"

Reluctantly, John held out his hand. Daddy simply pricked it with the scalpel, and then looked through the scope at the wound. He started for a few moments, then said, "There is a bit of granulation, but nowhere near what should be there."

He paused, then his teaching mode seemed to get the better of him. "The bots are mainly organic in nature. Think of them as a white blood cell with jaws. With these jaws, they can pull a cell from its normal place and modify it. Then they can put it in a completely different place. When they modify the cell, they can even change it's DNA." He paused for a moment. "It sounds impossible, but that's it." He gestured at Paula and me." I've injected new bots in you two and looking at the sample that Sylvia took to the lab, they are there, but there's not enough to fix these wounds. Oh, over time, they would, but I doubt you want to wait a couple of months, do you?"

"No, " Paula answered. I just shook my head.

He held up a couple of vials. They contained what looked like blood. "These are bots that I've tuned to your bodies already. I'm going to inject a new supply right into the wounds. They should start working almost immediately." He watched as Sylvia took a drop of John's blood and left the room, then turned to Jack. We should get Marc and Bob in here to check on them too."

"I've already called them Vern."

Daddy nodded, then turned back to us. "Paula, I think you'd better lay back down. I'm not sure if you're going to feel this or not. You could be exhausted for a bit. They're going to need some tissue to build more."

Jack stepped to my side and took one of the syringes from my father. He injected it into my arm, then opened a small case, lifted out something little and black with a pair of tweezers, and placed it in my arm. "Ferrous sulfate, " he explained. "There's no reason to make the bots pull iron from hemoglobin to reproduce."

He looked at my arm again and gave a thumbs up to Daddy. I was getting tired fast, so I leaned back. I couldn't keep my eyes open, so I closed them. I must have gone to sleep because when I opened them again, it was just me and John laying down. I was still tired, so I closed my eyes and was back out.

It was a week after I had received the shots of surplus bots, and I was home. We were at a loss as to how to deal with Amos now. Risking our people to the possibility of losing their bots was not a great idea, as far as we were concerned.

I was sitting at the dining room table, going over what had happened. I had absolutely refused command. Until we knew that Amos had no way to beat us, Rashda would keep the ship. I got up and moved to the kitchen. I knew John would be back soon. He had gone to talk to Marc about some ideas. He hadn't explained it to me, and when I asked, he refused, saying, "There is no way in hell, you are going downstairs again. I caved once, Rose, but not again."

I was pissed! How dare he tell me I couldn't go back!? I was an adult! I didn't need anyone, let alone my husband telling me I wasn't allowed to do something!

While he was gone, Rashda called me and said there seemed to be some confusion as to who was in command. Now, I was furious. I yelled at Rashda, called him every name I could think of, and then some. I screamed at him some more, and then realized I was making a fool of myself, and, in fact, showing why I was too close to the situation to be in charge.

I stopped my tirade, and after a moment of silence, I apologized.

"No problem, Rose."

I knew he meant that, and I felt two inches tall.

John came in as I was making some dinner. He entered the kitchen and watched for a while. Finally, he commented, "Rashda called, didn't he?"

"Why do you say that?" I asked him.

He watched as I continued making some dinner.

"You usually don't put chocolate sauce in pulled pork," he told me.

I looked at what I was doing and then started giggling. I couldn't help it. Even though I had apologized to Rashda, I was still furious both at him and John. I was determined not to let my husband know how mad I was, but I guess I hadn't been successful.

"Would you believe I was experimenting?" I asked through my giggling.

He gave me his lopsided grin. "Might be good, " he said matter of factly.

Pearl walked into the kitchen at that moment. "Whatcha making, Mom?" she asked me and stuck her finger into the 'bbq' pork I had been trying to make, and then into her mouth. "Gross!" she exclaimed.

"Then again, " John said, deadpan.

My giggling became full-fledged laughter, and I leaned back against the counter behind me. I laughed so hard that tears came to my eyes. John joined in, and Pearl must have thought we'd lost our minds, but it felt good. I hadn't laughed in a while, and I needed it.

Strangely, I hadn’t been working in my restaurant for quite some time. After my fiasco with the dinner at home, I felt the need to get out and do something I enjoyed. I had been relaxing with music for quite a while, but it just didn’t seem to be enough.

Even before we were married, John always had a standing invite to dinner, as did our friend Perl. Now, at Heaven’s Rose, John still had his meals there when I was cooking working in the kitchen, as did our daughter, Pearl.

It was several days later that I felt up to my normal level in a kitchen, and I worked up a dinner of prime rib and several different complementary vegetables. I had our meals brought to my private table, above the rest of the dining room.

We sat down to eat, and I looked down at the dining room. Lots of people seemed happy that I had reopened the restaurant, but the amount of people here was much less than usual. I suppose the proximity to the DMZ stood in the way of many people attending. I didn't know what to do regarding that. It seemed that sitting, terrified of what could happen, was no way to spend your time.

Something strange happened below soon after we were done eating. A woman entered, and she looked familiar, but something bothered me. I wasn't sure what, but it was nagging at me. I observed as she was brought to a private booth across the way from us. It was eerie. I wasn't sure why, but I was even more unsettled now. My husband and daughter seemed to catch a bit of my unease, and John looked across the way. He stood up. "What the hell?"

Then I realized what was going on. "It's Belinda!" She stood and looked directly at us, then started walking around the upper level. A moment later, she was standing into the doorway of our private booth.

"May I sit?" She asked.

"I don't think that would be a good idea, " John said.

"Why not? How many times did Rose ask me to join you? I'm now accepting that invitation."

Pearl stood. "You're Amos, aren't you?"

"Very astute, young lady. You get an A."

Our daughter looked at us both, then said, "I don't think my parents want you here. I suggest you leave."

"But I've already asked Rashda to come here. Do you want to disappoint him?" She gestured at the floor of the dining room. "There he is."

I looked down, and sure enough, there he was. He had caught sight of 'Belinda' and was standing motionless, starting up at her. He hurried to the ramp and came up to our level and hurried to the door. Amos sat down. John made room for Pearl, and she sat down.

"What's going on?" Rashda asked. "How are you up here?"

Amos turned to me. "I know you had to have seen me, Rose. Didn't you tell little Pookie what happened to me?"

"I saw Belinda, Amos. And no, I didn't tell Rashda what happened to her."

"But why? Don't you think he deserves to know?" She, or rather he turned to Rashda, and the voice became Amos'. "Sit down, Commander."

"No!" I almost shouted.

"Rose, how many times do I have to tell you that you are no longer in command?" Amos asked, mildly.

"If he sits down, all bets are off. I resume command."

"And why is that?"

"Somehow, you can destroy the bots in a person. You tried to do it with me."

He laughed as he changed shape. He became Amos once more. "Did you think I had no recourse? That you could lock me away from my bots?"

"We took that chance, " I said. "It appears that we may have been wrong?"

A childish giggle escaped him. "May have been?"

"I'm not convinced yet."

"Should I convince you?"

I weighed the risks. I didn't think he had much more he could do to us, but he had those people downstairs, and I didn't want to risk them.

"What do you want, Amos?"

"I'm just here for a visit, John."ⁿ

My husband shook his head. "No. You're not."

Again, the giggle. "You're right. Rashda is coming with me. I have a little horsey down there who misses her husband."

“Why didn’t you tell me, Rose?”

I shook my head. “She’s not the same as me, Rashda.”

He turned to face me. “What do you mean?”

“I was made into a pony. She has been changed into a horse.”

He didn’t understand, and I didn’t want to have to explain.

I glanced at John, but he didn’t know how to explain. Amos was grinning from ear to ear, enjoying my discomfort.

“Don’t you think Rashda should know, Rose?”

I felt trapped. I knew what Belinda was, but I didn’t want to be the one to tell my friend. I opened my mouth, and no sound came out.

I watched, horrified as the commander turned to Amos. “Take me to her,” he told the madman.

“No!” I exclaimed.

“Rose. This isn’t your fight. This is personal. I’m giving control of the station back to you.”

“You’ll be changed! You will probably never see her!” John told him.

“I’ll take that chance. What would you do if it were Rose down there?”

John didn’t say any more. I didn’t either. I couldn’t.

Amos stood up. “Well, this is very interesting, wouldn’t you say? I probably shouldn’t agree to this, but… My heart… I feel so giving right now.”

He turned to me. “I will allow you to resume your command. I keep control of the command areas of the ship, however. All that you command, are your people. Rashda comes with me.”

“I want him back here tomorrow,” I told Amos.

He seemed to consider it, then nodded. “Alright.”

“Alive,” John interjected.

“I give my word, that when I bring Rashda up here tomorrow, he will be alive.” He started walking away, leading the former commander. He stopped and turned. “Until tomorrow. Same time, same place.” Then they left Heaven’s Rose.

I didn’t get much sleep that night. Rashda had asked what John would do if it were me down there. I know what John would do. The same thing that Rashda was doing. And, if the positions were reversed, I knew that I would move heaven and earth to get John back.

I couldn’t fault Rashda. He and Belinda had a special relationship, and I knew it had to be killing him to leave her downstairs with Amos. The problem was, I was afraid that going downstairs would kill him as well.

When I got up, I didn’t want to face the day. I felt that it would be grim, and I knew John did as well. The doctors and my family had already discussed the possible outcomes for Rashda, and Daddy was hoping that he could stop whatever Amos had come up with for the bots inside our friend.

John and I went to the restaurant, everyone was standing by to do whatever they could.

True to his word, Amos showed up with Rashda, at the appointed time. They sat down across the table from us. Amos obviously saw the security that I had all over the dining room, but he smirked. “Are you ready for whatever horrible things I might do today, Rose?”

I simply glared at him.

“Not to worry, My Dear. As promised, Mr. Smythe is returned to you, physically unharmed.”

I looked at Rashda, and while he did appear to be physically unharmed, that was not to speak for his mental well being. He looked haggard. I know what I saw in the six months that I was down there, and I wondered what he had seen in just one day.

Amos stood. “If you will excuse me, I have some discipline to attend to.”

He stood and made his way out of the restaurant. John stared at Rashda, then asked, “What happened down there?”

Rashda was shaking in his seat, but he didn’t respond.

“Was she alright?”

“She was a horse.”

I reached out to his hand, sitting on the table. “I’m so sorry, Rashda,” I started.

Suddenly, he was furious. “Why didn’t you tell me to begin with? When I could have done something?”

I stared at him, not knowing what to say. “You love those old shows, Rosie.” The way he said my name was filled with venom. “You ever watched The Godfather?”

With that, he stood up and stormed off. I didn’t know what to say. Yes, I had, and if what happened in the movie happened to Rashda, it would be a very long time before he was anywhere approaching normal.

Chapter 3.5

It had been three weeks since Rashda had gone downstairs to see what happened to Belinda. He had never confirmed what I thought occurred to her, but his statement referencing The Godfather made it seem likely.

I had spoken to John about it, and he agreed with me. We had watched the movie a few times, but now I felt like removing it from the ship’s archives. I didn’t think I could ever watch it again.

I was sitting in my office at my own home, as there was virtually nothing I could do actually to run the ship, however. My role now was more of a mayor or a governor. I heard the front door of our house slam, and Pearl stormed in and dropped into the chair across the desk from me. 

“Come in,” I said without looking up from what I was doing.

She didn’t say anything, so eventually, I finished the forms I was looking at, touched a corner of my screen, and the top of my desk became wood grain again. I looked up. Pearl was staring out the window at nothing in particular. I waited for a few moments, then asked, “What’s up, sweetheart?”

She shook her head, still looking at nothing. Finally, she looked at me. “This is bullshit, Mom.”

“I think I know what you mean, but would you like to elucidate?”

“That bastard gets control of this ship, and free run of it all, and we just have to sit up here and take it with our heads up our asses. Is that clear enough, Mom?”

Usually, my daughter didn’t speak to me that way, so I was a bit taken aback. “Uh… Yeah. I would say it’s pretty clear.” She continued to look at me like I should have some inspired ideas to fix it. I really didn’t. Finally, I decided to gauge her attitude a bit clearer. “Do you think your dad and I are just sitting with our heads up our asses?”

“No, Mom.” She sounded absolutely frustrated. “I just…” She sighed as if she was looking for the correct words.

I knew she had been friends with Belinda. They shared a lot of the same interests and were roughly the same age, although Pearl was born considerably earlier. The wonders of travel approaching light speed.

“What would you have me do?” I pressed.

“Nothing!”

I started to say something more, but she interrupted. “Do you know what Amos did to Belinda?”

“I have a rough idea,” I said very cautiously.

“And what do you think he did?” Now, it was her pressing me. 

I squeezed my eyes shut, and I tried not to think of the scene in the movie where the horse’s head is found in a man’s bed. “He removed her head.” I had seen this happen so many times to so many friends, that it shouldn’t have fazed me. It did.

“And then he cooked her, Mom! Rashda was already shaken by finding her head, and Amos mocked him. ‘I’m so sorry you have to go, Rashda. We have a delicacy tonight. My chef probably isn’t as good as Rose, but I understand horse-meat was once a delicacy on Earth.’”

I stared at her. “How do you know this?”

“Rashda told me. He was sitting by the lake last night, contemplating jumping in. ‘It wouldn’t do any good, though Pearl. The bots won’t let you drown.’ That’s what he said to me.”

“Did you alert anyone?”

“Of course, Mom. Did you really think I wouldn’t? Although, after what he told me, I wouldn’t have blamed him if he had followed through.”

Neither would I.

I wondered if my daughter was getting too close to Rashda after something happened to Belinda. I doubt she meant anything by it, as she and Belinda were such good friends, but I wondered if Rashda might think Pearl was rushing things.

At the same time, maybe he could use a friend -- someone who was a good friend of Belinda as well. Perhaps they could help each other with the loss of his wife and her friend.

We had little to do but wait. John and Marc were working with another brilliant man, Winston Reese, to come up with some kind of holographic cloak. It reminded me of something out of Star Trek, or Harry Potter. The idea was to use a camera and a projector system. I wasn’t entirely sure how they were trying to do it, but I figured that they were two of the best people for the job.

Winston had been with us since we were taken aboard N21. He was born in one of the last holdouts of Britain and spoke with a distinct British accent.

Winston understood photons like no other. He was responsible for our holographic technology that made the area John and my house was in, look like it was sitting in the country. Winston worked with Trent Carr, another of our brilliant scientists. He had worked for many years with shaped force fields. My understanding was that he was trying to use them in conjunction with Winston’s holograms to make them feel real as well.

I wasn’t sure how far they had come, but I knew that they were thrilled to work together. When Amos’ ‘fun’ started, Winston was touched by Trent. Winston had been straight before that incident, but Trent was gay. Winston’s body didn’t change in the slightest, but his sexual orientation did to match Trent’s. When the next stage started, they were bonded almost as quickly as Marc and Kari.

I walked into Johns lab, which was quite large. All four of them were present and working intently. I was surprised to see my sister present, as well. She and Marc had seemed to be getting interested in each other. I wasn't worried about that, but it seemed too early. I knew that both had been devoted to their spouses, and had no idea how they could be interested in someone else so quickly. I wondered if Rashda would be similar. There was a possibility that he and Paula might bond as well.

Bonding was an offshoot from stage two. When the nanites from a dead person started to affect others, they killed the change between the first compatible person you touched. That’s how John and I bonded, as well as Marc and Kari. After that first touch, you were drawn to kiss each other. It seemed innocent at the time, but once it was done, you would be compelled to have sex, and gender swaps would occur with you hating being the opposite gender.

In retrospect, it was interesting to see what John would have turned out like had be been born female, but I was just as glad that we were who we were now. Looking in the mirror during that time was an utterly horrendous experience.

The bonding, however, was something I was happy remained. No matter how much we loved each other, I wondered if we would have grown weary in the time we'd been together. John was a couple of months older than me, and we had been married for almost fifteen hundred years now. Kids had been born in the time after Amos' play and were not bonded. Some of their relationships hadn't lasted. However, none of the bonded couples had ever split apart. Some of us weren't married but had remained faithful anyway. There had been very few couplings between someone bonded and someone born after the fact. The result was a bond, but weaker. I suppose it was half that of a first-generation one. Mom and Dad had been trying to find a gene that might be responsible for the bond but hadn't had any luck. I secretly hoped that they wouldn't. I didn't want any possibility of destroying what John and I had.

Pearl had not gone through our time dealing with Amos’ atrocities. Consequently, she had never been bonded. I suspected that she was now, however.

It was roughly four months after we had returned from downstairs. Paula and I were sitting in her home, discussing Marc and John. There was no doubt that she and Marc were firmly bonded now. As with all bonds, she hated to be away from him for any length of time.

Surprisingly, they hadn't slept together yet. It was too early.

"How can you resist the bond?" I asked her.

"It's strange. I love Marc, and I know we will consummate our relationship at some point, but now isn't the time."

"I don't understand, Paula. Doesn't the new bond cancel the old one? I mean..." My question sounded callous, but I felt that I needed to understand the way it worked.

"I've thought about this, and I think it was a mistake on Amos' part. I think he wanted us to feel guilty about the compulsion to have sex with our new bond-mate. What it has done now that the pressure isn't present is give us the ability to hold off. Actually, I feel it would be a complete betrayal of the bond I had with Fred to consummate the one with Marc right now."

"Are you sure it will fade?"

"It has. I certainly hope it does entirely, otherwise Marc and I are going to have a tough time with our own bond."

"I would think so, Sis."

My phone chose that moment to ring. I glanced at it and saw that John was trying to reach me. I excused myself and stepped out onto the front porch.

“Hi," I chirped.

“Rose, can you and Paula come over to my workroom?”

“Sure," I replied. I could feel my bond to him, causing both a physical and emotional reaction in me. Like Paula and Marc, being separated for too long hurt. I suspected that was why seeing him in Amos' throne room pulled me completely back to being myself.

I went back into Paula's house and told her what John asked. She had absolutely no argument, and we hurried around the lake to my home.

When we arrived, we went straight to John's lab. He had never gotten used to having a lab, so he called it a workroom. He was an absolutely brilliant man but tried to avoid showing that to others. But, then again, I was hardly impartial. In fact, I was in awe of his engineering skills.

We entered quietly so we wouldn't disturb them. They were very busy, and I'm sure they didn't notice us at first, but finally, John glanced up. He saw us there, smiled, and beckoned us over.

We walked over, and as much as I didn’t want to flaunt my marriage in front of Paula, I simply couldn't resist giving John a kiss. I glanced at her guiltily, but she just smiled.

I looked around and saw my dad, Carter, and Winston, but Marc wasn't there. "I thought Marc was helping you," I commented.

“He is,” John told me.

“How come he’s not here?” I asked.

“He is,” Paula told me.

I looked around the room. “Where?” I looked at her strangely.

“Maybe you don’t notice it, Rose. You’re probably very used to it by now, but I knew when Fred died. I felt it. The bond just wasn’t there anymore.”

“Sounds very Vulcan,” John commented.

I couldn’t resist. “Fascinating.”

“It is, isn’t it,” came Marc’s voice from somewhere in the room. “I felt the same way when Kari died. I knew it had happened.”

I looked around and still didn't see Marc. I decided to ignore the fact that his voice seemed to be coming from the middle of the room, where no one was standing.

“So their lives have ended. Are they still alive in their crystals?”

“I really don’t know,” Marc said.

I turned to Paula. “Paula?”

“I don’t think so,” she answered.

“How would you know?” Daddy asked, stepping up to us.

Paula stared at him. “What do you mean, Dad?”

"Baby, I'm not arguing with you, but if there is no longer the organic body, how would you know?"

Marc's head suddenly appeared out of nowhere. He seemed to be pulling some kind of hood off. "I'm sorry, Vern. I'm not sure I understand what you're asking."

"I do," Paula said. "I believe that the bonding happens through the memory crystals. When the ..." She trailed off as Daddy was shaking his head.

"I'm sorry, Baby, but you didn't think it all the way through."

Daddy and Paula didn't often argue, and they weren't right now, but he was correcting her publicly. She never enjoyed that. I saw her clench her jaw, and I figured her tongue was probably very sore.

He saw too, and he said, “It's a good thought, but we turned off the wireless to the crystals. I've found that the bond has to do with the frequencies of the bots. Somehow, when a bonding occurs, they become secondarily tuned to the frequency of the bond-mates crystals."

"Then why don't I feel Fred's crystals?"

I answered. "You do, Paula. Remember? It's not the right you said the feelings we're lessening, but you would feel like you're betraying the bond with him if you acted on your bond with Marc."

Uh oh. I suddenly realized what I had said. We had an understanding that there were things we said to each other that we're strictly between us. "Sorry, Sis, " I said, barely above a whisper. She hugged me. "That's okay, Rosie. You're right. I hadn't thought about that."

Marc was now seated and was pulling off some strange, gray jumpsuit. I was very curious about it, but I didn't want to steer them away from where we were now.

“Why don't they occur with two kids?" asked Marc as he pulled his boots off. He stood up and was wearing only a pair of shorts. As I've said before, he was a very handsome man, and I had to avert my eyes. I glanced at Paula, and she had no inhibitions in taking in all of his physique. I giggled at her, and she glanced my way. There was no trace of a blush on her face. She knew what she was doing and didn't try to hide it.

“Hey!” John hollered over to him. “Put some clothes on! You’re turning everyone on!”

“You?” Marc asked, tongue in cheek.

“Well, the women anyway.”

I pulled John’s head down where I could whisper in his ear. “Okay,” he corrected himself once again. “You’re turning Paula on.”

“I don’t mind,” she said, still eyeing Marc. “You could lose the rest if you’d like.”

Suddenly, Marc was blushing furiously. “Maybe later,” he told her.

“So,” my dad said, clearing his throat, "Wanna explain Marc's outfit to the girls, John?" He paused. "I mean his invisible one."

“I like it,” Paula said, probably to derail Daddy more than anything.

“You know what I mean!”

“The jumpsuit," John shouted in an attempt to stop Paula from winding up our father even more, "uses micro-fiber optics to bend the light from one side to another, thereby rendering the person invisible¹.”

“Sounds somewhat far-fetched, wouldn’t you say?” Daddy commented.

“Yet it works.”

“What happens, John,” I wondered, “if any of the fibers get damaged.

“Very little, until several are damaged, and even then, they have to be in roughly the same place."

“What happens then?” Paula asked.

“We’re really not sure,” Marc said as he joined us, buttoning up his shirt. “I suspect that the subconscious mind might notice if before the conscious does.”

“So someone might be bothered, perhaps uncomfortable, but not know why?” I surmised.

“That’s my suspicion. Of course, if it’s big enough to be seen, we’re kinda out of luck.”

“What about sound?” It would be up to me if anyone used this to go downstairs, and I wanted to make sure any decision I made was an informed one.

My husband looked me in the eye. “We’ll have to be quiet.”

Clearly, he intended to be one in the expedition.

Two days later, John and I were in my office. This was one decision I did not want to have to make.

I debated staying behind my desk. I had always hated the damned thing, especially in what I had always wanted to be a music room, not the office of the commander of Neo22.

Finally, I sat down beside John, and we waited for people to arrive. I had told him what my decision would be. A privilege of being married to the commander. No, not a privilege. I didn’t have any secrets from John. It was his right to know. He, however, was not happy. He would not be going on this test run.

There was a knock on the door to my office. “Come in.”

Marc and Paula entered, along with my parents, Doctors Jack and Sylvia, and three security men, led by Bob.

I took a deep breath. "Bob, I would like you to take a group of your security men and Sylvia downstairs." I looked at Paula. "There are two reasons you won't be going with them. Number one, your bots aren't quite restocked, and two, we know what will happen to you if you go down. We're both considered ponies or furniture.”

“What about Doc Sylvia?” Bob asked.

“If I was caught, I would be considered a woman,” she told him.

“Oh," Bob seemed surprised but said no more about it.

“Why don’t I do with them?” Marc wondered.

“If I may, Rosie?” Daddy asked.

I nodded.

“They have already had your bots down there, and knowing Amos, he has undoubtedly scanned them. It’s best if we don’t give them your bots again.”

“Pardon me, Sir, but that doesn’t make sense. Bob has been down there as well. They’ve studied his bots as well.”

“I’m more expendable,” the security man said.

“I’m sorry, Bob, but that’s bullshit. None of us are expendable!”

“That may be true, Sir, but I’m more expendable than you. Correct Commander?” he asked me.

I couldn't speak. I only nodded as tears flooded my eyes. We needed someone who had been there and knew the way to the palace. It was a test run, yes, but if they could accomplish the mission without any problems, they were to do it. We were risking one of our possibilities with this incursion, but I had another idea. Finally, I felt I could speak.

“While they go down, I… I want…”

“Please, Commander. Let us leave first. I don’t want any information that they may extract.”

Jack and Sylvia stood and had a long, passionate kiss before she followed the three security men out the door.

“The rest of us,” I said after I turned on the recently installed soundproofing screen, “will work on a contingency if this doesn’t work. I hate the thought of resorting to this, but it may be our only hope. We’re going to prepare to blow ourselves free from the command center and downstairs.

“Sounds like a great idea, but won’t he be monitoring the computers?” Marc asked.

“We're not going to use the built-in charges in the event we actually resort to this," I told him. "We'll use them as a feint, however. I'm counting on Amos' arrogance for this to work. Since we have built-in charges, and only command staff was told about them, Carla didn't, or shouldn't have known they were there."

“So, what do we do instead?" Mom asked.

“John, Marc, and Paula will go outside and set charges there, while we try to arm the others.”

“Won’t Amos notice people on the hull?”

“It’s a possibility, Mom. But I don’t think he’ll have people watching. He’s simply too arrogant. Plus, we didn’t have EVA suits when he took over. John and Marc have made them while we supposedly sat on our backsides doing nothing.”

A couple of days later, the group was once again gathered in my office. We were going to try to help the four who were ready to "descend into Hell."

Daddy had developed a method of hooking us to other’s bots. Their memory crystals were actually in my office, and the vibrations would travel throughout the superstructure of the ship, allowing us to connect to their nanobots. John and I intended to connect with Doctor Sylvia, while Paula and Marc were connecting to Bob. Mom and Daddy were set to help another of the security men, and Doctor Jack and Rachel, our ship shrink, were ready with the other.

Normally, I would have let Doctor Jack connect to Sylvia, but I didn’t think his bond with her would be a benefit. If something were to happen, it could be too distracting. Surprisingly, he concurred.

We connected and watched as they made their way down the u corridor to the command level.

Bob and Paula had determined that they would recheck the command level to make sure they wouldn't have some creature at their backs as they continued.

This time, there were no surprises, although Bob flinched when they entered the command center. Whether it was from his own memories or those of Marc and Paula, I wasn't sure.

They hurried back to the U corridor to continue down when I asked them to pause. Everyone in my office heard me, so they stopped moving. "Does anyone else notice the shimmering in the air?"

Sylvia and John could tell where I was looking through the link, and though the link, I heard Sylvia think, as John said out loud, "Behind us."

“I see it now. What is it?” Paula wondered.

“Another of Amos tricks?” This came from Daddy.

“Let’s get out of here.” Jack sounded nervous.

Sylvia started hurrying toward the U corridor, and the disturbance followed us. I kept watching behind, as John announced, “They’re surrounding us.”

All of a sudden, I saw something near the floor. "Ouch!" exclaimed one of the security men. Mom cried out at the same time.

“What the?” It was Jack. “It’s into your suit! It looks like something is crawling up and down your leg!”

Mom screamed, and the security man yelled out, but his voice ended in a gurgle.

Daddy yelled, “Let go, Bernie!”

“Help her!” John told me. “I’ll stay with Sylvia!”

“Get the hell out of here,” Paula shouted.

I pulled myself away from the crystals and looked over at my mother. She was gripping the watch of the security man, while Daddy was trying to pull her hands away. I was horrified to see her skin pulsing randomly as her bots seemed to be trying to follow Daddy's orders, and make her let go as well. Suddenly, her hand opened as if it was spring-loaded, and the watch flew out of her grasp and cracked against the wall. Daddy was staring at her hand. I looked back and saw that a literal tentacle of silver was retracting back into her skin.

A moment later, she collapsed onto the floor. Daddy picked her up and headed out the door, presumably to the hospital. Jack followed, leaving Rachel to watch out for her guard.

“What the hell just happened?” I asked no one in particular.

“He’s gone,” Paula responded as she continued watching out for Bob. “It was as if they consumed him.”

“What were they?” I wondered. “Were they bots?”

“Who the hell knows?” Marc said. “We’ve got to get our people out of here, though.”

The remaining members of the team started back but stopped as they came upon more shimmering ahead. Slowly, it advanced on them, leaving the only alternative to being 'eaten' a descent to Amos' hell below.

Chapter 3.6

I rejoined John in observing Sylvia. Our people were being forced downstairs, and we were helpless to stop it. We watched as they came were herded to the palace, and then the throne room. I gasped as the shimmering air coalesced into a man.

"Here they are, my Lord, " he told Amos, who was sitting, once again on his throne.

“Excellent, Freddie. You may leave now,” the self-proclaimed monarch told him. He turned to us. “Well, now. You may as well remove your invisibility things. I know that you are here. Also, I will want to inspect them.”

“No!" John said quickly. "Don't remove them."

"Oh, come now," Amos said after a moment. "There is no fooling me. I know that you are there. There is no reason to try to hide from me."

I had an idea. "As slowly and quietly as you can, move to either side of the door."

"Do I need to bring Freddie back to show me where you are?"

"Perfect. As soon as Freddie comes in, move out the door, then split up. See if you can find Amos' memory crystals."

We watched as the three moved away. Amos' eyes remained fixed where he thought they were. There was just enough time for them to reach the back of the hall before Amos called for Freddie. When the door opened, the three quietly slipped outside.

They moved away from the throne room quickly, and I verified that they were going in different directions. We watched Sylvia ascended some stairs, and crept slowly down a passageway. There was no one around, and she carefully opened doors and looked into the rooms as she advanced.

In one of the doors, she saw what looked like a harem, and someone stood up and turned to look at the door. "What is going on?" she said, in what was obviously my voice. I gasped as the woman got closer to the door, and moved out of the shadows. She looked exactly like me! Amos had transformed one of the women – no! Probably a man, into a copy of me, except, knowing Amos, the girl probably had extra bits downstairs.

“That bastard is going to die,” John muttered.

Sylvia backed away from the door, and the girl shut it. I shuddered, knowing that the person had been one of our men.

Sylvia kept moving and didn't run into anyone else, although a couple of people passed her in the hall. Finally, after many pauses, she descended a staircase at the other end of the corridor.

When she reached the bottom, she started to turn right, but then heard voices to her left. One was Amos, While the other sounded like Bob! She quickly turned and headed toward the sound.

I relayed what she was doing out loud.

“No, Sylvia!” It was Paula. Although she couldn’t hear her directly, she heard her through our link. “Stay away. The buckle is where I hid it in a closet under the stairs. Hurry, they’re trying to get the information out of me!”

I heard Paula gasp as Bob was hit, over and over. I felt Sylvia react to the sound as well, but she hurried to a door she had seen when she turned. She opened it and slipped inside, but couldn't see the thing until she closed the door and saw a red glow on an upper shelf.

She grabbed it with her hand still gloved, then found a flap over a pocket. She carefully pulled the Velcro™ apart and slipped the buckle into the pocket. After she had smoothed the flap down and made sure nothing underneath it was showing, she slipped out of the closet again, soundlessly shutting the door. She started down when she heard someone moving down the hall in front of her. They turned the corner, and she saw that it was Bob, Amos, and Freddie.

Bob looked terrible, and she relayed that to us. I told her, “Paula says the signal is getting weaker and weaker. Bob was injected with something by Amos as soon as Freddie caught him. We’re not sure why, but Freddie can’t change into… whatever it is for another couple of hours.”

“She wants to know what to do about Bob?”

“Leave me. Let me allow you to get out,” Paula relayed.

“I don’t see it, Bob,” Amos growled.

“I swear, that’s where I put it!”

“Freddie, teach him some manners for a guest.”

Freddie pulled his fist back and hit Bob in the face, saying, “Never steal from your host!” I could hear the sound of Bob’s nose and cheek breaking from the blow.

“That’s rule number one,” Amos announced solemnly.

“Never lie to your host!” Freddie announced as he landed a blow in Bob’s gut.

The door to the outside opened at that moment, and Sylvia was able to slip outside before she heard more.

She hated to continue to sneak around. She wanted to break into a run, but she feared that she would be treated much worse than Bob if she were caught with the buckle in her pocket. She continued by stealth, toward the U ramps, and relative safety.

It took her close to three hours to get the short distance to the U ramp. On the downside, there was no wall up, or a door to block entrance to the walkway. She observed many people near the edge of the ring, where a marketplace was set up. They didn’t seem to notice the opening behind them, although it was large enough to drive several trucks through at once. One man walked soundly into the wall, and then turned, not even seeming to notice it.

Thinking about it, she doubted the people even realized that they were on a spaceship. The buildings, like all of them, were in the bays, which seemed to be wide open. I hated to say it, but someone had an interesting idea. The walls of each bay showed what was going on in the next one. When I had been a ‘pony,’ I had not thought of it, but I never saw any walls. The inside could be made to appear to be whatever we wanted, and it was almost indistinguishable from the real thing. I dearly wished that Winston or Carter had thought of it.

Sylvia carefully maneuvered around the sales booths and up to the ramp. She hoped that there would be no sudden perception of it when she started to make her way up. She took one more look around and then started moving up.

There were no incidents this time, and she arrived at the open door, silhouetting a grinning Jack.

It was the next day that everyone gathered in Daddy's and Mom's laboratory. Once again, Daddy assumed the role of a teacher. "This is fascinating. I've discovered some of the mechanics of Amos' tricks. Some of them, but certainly not all."

"Have you figured out how he can possess someone the way he does?" Jack wondered.

"I've found some things that suggest how it's done."

I was inquisitive. In retrospect, I saw that Amos had not let me understand the way this was done.

"There is a fluid on the outside of these crystals. It doesn't evaporate as long as it remains there. Don't ask, because I have no idea how that's managed. When it touches the skin, however, it disappears quickly. This leaves bots that we're suspended in the fluid to make their way in through the skin."

"But how can they take over that persons bots?" I asked.

"They use the same basic function as a bonding does. Amos' bots program those of another person to respond to his frequency."

"And his is given precedence?"

"Exactly, Rosie."

I sat down on one of his benches. "So what can we do? It sounds like he should be able to take over anyone. Possess them, anyway."

"Well, that's where things get interesting," Mom took up the teaching. "When we monitored those going below," as she said this, she got pale, "we could connect because of the physical connection to their memory crystals. Since he doesn't have the radio to use, he would need the physical connection to be able to control. With his frequencies being tapped in, he can watch what the person sees. Even talk like we were able to, but he can't control. There is no way to reprogram all the bots to his control."

"Yes, there is, Bernie," Daddy argued.

"He hasn't set it up yet, and it would leave the person entirely out of his control while programming was done," Mom replied.

“But once the programming was done, it the person would be completely under his control,” I said.

“Without his control, would a person’s mind revert back to normal?” John asked.

“We would have to examine the mind of someone under his control,” Sylvia said.

“No, I don’t think so,” I wasn’t an expert, but I think they were missing something. “I still hate the thought of returning to my male self.”

“That's hardly conclusive, Rosie," Daddy laughed. "You never liked being male."

“It may not be conclusive for Rose, but it is for me,” Rachel said.

“And for me,” said my older sister. “I was never like Rose, but I can’t stomach the thought of being male. I haven’t been able to since I was changed in the situation room.”

“I was a man before, but I’m trans now. I had surgery, and I’m happy with myself,” Rachel told us.

“So some things remain. But most of those people down there have been changed so drastically. I don’t think anything of them remains.”

Rachel shook her head. “I don’t think you can change anything in their crystals. Once a memory matrix has been written, it’s there to stay.”

“How do you know?” I asked.

“I’ve studied the crystals extensively in my work, and I’ve regressed through my own. I can see the point where I enjoyed being a man, but it turns my stomach to even consider going back now. The point is, however, Those memories are not colored by what I am now.”

“So, in theory, we could bring a person back to who they were before?”

She nodded.

“Could you reconfigure their bodies back to themselves?” I asked my parents.

“In theory, certainly.”

“Now, we just need to figure out how this thing can benefit us," I sighed, looking down at the horrible crystals.

Paula placed a dozen guards at each of the connecting tunnels between the two halves of the ship. Many volunteers were stationed where they could see the outside of each bay from the outer ring.

Marc arranged for an alarm system triggered by some cameras. He stressed that the camera was no replacement for the human eye, and the volunteers remained in place along with the cameras, watching for an incursion from below.

Daddy grabbed Marc and enlisted his aid in some kind of system. I had no idea what it was and demanded to be brought into the loop. Daddy wouldn't budge.

Finally, he and Marc showed me a device that might help against a beast like Freddie. "It is a simple EM pulse generator," Marc explained. "It's limited to a minimal area, but we might lose a few lights and maybe hologram projectors, but hopefully we'll be able to break him apart if he makes an appearance."

“You’ll kill him,” I said quietly.

“I understand your reluctance, Rosie, but I’m afraid this is a case of better him than us.”

“He’s one of us, Daddy!”

“I know it, Sweetie, but right now, he’s trying to kill us.”

I thought about it and then came up with an idea. "I have an idea for you two to work on."

“What is it?” Marc asked.

I told them.

We entered my parent's bot lab a few days later. Mom was preparing to lecture on her project when we heard an alarm! Paula made a call, listened, then told us, "Come on!"

We ran into the town square and to the entrance to the connecting tunnel. I looked around, shocked. “Where are the guards?” I asked.

“We’re here,” someone said. I watched as several people pulled off invisibility hoods.

“Okay," I said, glaring at my sister. "Someone didn't feel It was necessary to tell me that you were invisible."

“Sorry, Ma’am,” the guard said. “I didn’t mean to shock you.”

“Don't worry, George. I was just surprised. Now, what happened?"

He led us down the ramp. The floor of the ramp seemed to be covered with grease. "Ivan noticed some kind of disturbance in the air, so he set off his EM pulse." Ivan stepped forward, and I noticed that I could see the outlines of his body, even though he was still wearing his suit from the neck down. It had the same greasy appearance as the floor.

“Are you telling me that this is the remains of Freddie?" I asked, sickened.

“Or someone like him,” Ivan told me.

I felt faint.

“John, can we get someone here to clean this up?” I asked.

“Wait!” Daddy said. “Let’s see if we can come up with a way to get this to my lab. I want to study it.”

We headed back, which was a relief to my stomach. I imagined I could smell rotting flesh in the tunnel, although I knew it was purely psychological. Getting out of the tunnel and breathing fresh air was bliss for me.

Entering Mom’s lab, I was interested to hear what she had to say. “I’ve come up with a way of infiltrating Amos’ crystals, hopefully without him knowing.

“You’ve what?!” Daddy was surprised. He had been working on his own project with Marc.

“You disagree, Dad?” Paula asked.

“No. If Bernie says it will work, I’m sure it will. I’d just like to look at her figures.”

“You look at her figure all the time, Dad,” Paula said, trying to wind him up.

“You're sure it will work, Mom?" I asked, trying to deflect the winding-up, once again.

“Well, no, but I think it will.”

“I’ll try it,” I said quickly.

“No!” cried my knight in shining armor. “You will not.”

“I’ve been there, John.”

“Yes. All the more reason to keep you out of there.”

“How are you doing it?” Daddy asked.

“It’s actually using a lot of what we discovered earlier. I’m ready to add Amos’ frequency to one of us’s bots.”

“Since you’re not sure, we could potentially be sacrificing someone on our side to Amos,” Jack said bluntly.

Mom turned to glare at Jack. "I know you weren't happy about Sylvia going down there, Jack, but everyone down there right now is sacrificed to Amos. We are trying to gain redemption for them. I don't know if this will work or not, but I'm willing to give it a try!"

With that, I watched in horror as Mom took a syringe and jammed it into her arm, and pressed the plunger.

Mom was lying down in the hospital. Daddy and Jack were discussing what she had done in the other room. They were looking over her notes on the bots she had injected into herself.

Paula was busy with Marc, Rashda, and John, preparing our charges to separate the two halves of the ship, if it became necessary. The problem is, what Mom had done, might make it essential.

I was not an electrician. I was not a doctor. At that point, I was a daughter furious with her mother.

“What the hell were you thinking, Mom?!”

“I...”

“Or should I rephrase that? Were you thinking?!”

“Rose...”

“It was a completely stupid thing to do! Are you trying to get yourself killed? Get us all killed?" I paused in my tirade. Mom just pushed the button, raising her bed up, so she was in a sitting position. I grabbed the control and shouted, "You're s'posed to rest!"

“Don’t touch that control. You may be the commander of this ship, and I respect your abilities there, but I’m still your mother. Do not take that tone with me, and don’t treat me like I’m stupid. I knew exactly what I was doing.”

I brought my head up quickly. I was somewhat surprised. She hadn't talked to me that way since I was a child. I dropped the bed control and almost fell into the chair behind me. I felt like I'd been slapped. She definitely hadn't lost her touch as a mother.

I sat there and worked to regain my composure. Finally, in a small voice, I asked, “What were you intending? Why did you do that?”

She smiled. “What question would you like me to answer first?”

“They’re the same thing, Mother,” I said sternly.

"No, dear. They're not exactly the same. What I intended was to make myself able to pick up the frequency that Amos crystals vibrate at. Why? Because I want this to end. He has killed my granddaughter, possibly my daughter, and my son-in-law. I want him dead."

"And are you picking up the frequencies, Mother?"

"Please, Rosie. I'm still your mom."

"Yes, Mom, you are. But I am furious with you right now!"

"Why?"

"I don't want to lose you! I lost Carla! I lost Ronda before I ever got to know her. Fred was a wonderful man, and we lost him. Belinda was a friend who, and I saw her as a horse, Mom! I know they're dead, but we don't know about Carla. I can't let go of her. If there's any chance, I can't let go! And I can't let you go! How could I?"

She reached out and pulled me down to her. I cuddled up to her like I hadn't since I was a small child. It felt good to be held by her in that way.

After a while, Daddy entered the room. I looked up at him and sat up. I started to get up, but he held out a hand. "It's okay, Baby. Stay there."

"Daddy, Paula is Baby. I'm Rosie."

"Not right now. You're our baby."

"Okay," I said, sniffling. I had always been secretly jealous of Paula for having that pet name anyway, so I enjoyed Daddy calling me that.

"Bernie, I've gone over your figures. I can't find a fault in them. I'm still furious at you."

"Like father, like daughter."

"I can imagine. This was reckless."

"We were going to argue about who dove into his memories until the cows came home. I simply solved that problem."

He shook his head. "You put yourself at risk, Bernice."

Mom's eyes may as well have shot Daddy with fire. "Vernon, I did what was right!"

"We don't know if you will be pulled in!"

"You know damned well that it is unlikely. Rosie was pulled in because she was touching the crystals. I won't be." Mom was getting angrier by the moment. I got up and secretly moved to the chair. Usually, I would have left the room, but I needed to hear what the risks were.

"Because I will be interfacing directly with the crystals, I will not be drawn in." I will not be utilizing Amos' buckle computer."

"What's the difference, Mom?"

"I don't think he'll notice me because I'm not sending anything to his crystals. My bots should be programmed to only receive from them."

I looked at Daddy for confirmation. "They should be," he said, "but we don't know for sure."

She sounded exasperated. "Now, Vernon, we don't know for sure, but you said you couldn't find any faults in my figures."

He pulled up a chair beside mine and sat down with a sigh. "No, Bernie, I can't. It looks like you're right. I sure hope you are."

"I do too, Vern. I really do."

Daddy turned to me. "Commander, I'd like your permission to do something."

"Do you really need my permission?"

"In this case, Baby, I do."

"What do you want to do?"

"I want to turn off the radio frequencies to Amos' crystals."

"If you do that..."

"He can't directly control people anymore."

I saw benefits, but I also saw detriments. "He might try to attack us faster."

"There is that."

"He also may try to set up his frequency controlling of people."

"I don't think that will work. Amos is brilliant, but he needs the computer to control them, and he won't have that."

I thought about it, trying to turn it this way and that in my mind. I knew my parents were just as brilliant as Amos but in different ways. I sighed. I didn't want to risk our people downstairs, but we needed his control lessened in any way.

"Okay, Daddy. You have my permission. But only after we are certain we can separate from downstairs. We won't risk our lives as well as those down there. I mean it."

"I agree, Rosie."

I guess I wasn't Baby anymore. Oh well.

Chapter 3.7

”No!” I shouted at Mom. “I won’t!”

“Rosie! Yes, you will. You have to.”

“Why?!” I asked, still unable to lower my voice.

Mom gave me a half-smile. “Sweetheart, we don’t know if I can be overpowered by Amos or not.”

“So you want me to lock you up, just in case? I can’t do that, Mom!”

“Rose, if I became violent, what could happen to all these people?”

“What if you give false information?”

“There is that too, but that doesn’t necessitate my being locked up.”

“You can be restrained.”

“And possibly hurt, or worse yet, change the person who is trying to restrain me. No. I need to be locked in a room where I can’t do that.”

I thought about it, and I knew she was right. It was horrible to make that decision, and worse yet, do it. I figured that house arrest would be sufficient, and Daddy said he would sleep in his lab for the time being. Anything to get this over with as quickly as possible.

I couldn't order Paula to lock Mom away. I had to do it myself. Once it was done, I hurried to my home and contacted her. "Are you sensing anything, Mom?"

"Very faintly, Rosie. I don't think I'm fully equipped with all the bots I need yet."

"I'll let you out, Mom."

"No!" It was John at the door to my office. He came over and sat down beside me. "Rose, I know you don't like your Mom locked up. Shit! I don't like it either. Your family was always a second one to me." He paused for a moment, and I saw something that no one, besides me, was ever allowed to see -- raw emotion on his face. Sure, he allowed people to see him laugh, but sorrow and hurt were reserved for me alone. This time, he let Mom see it, and I think she was stunned. He turned to her, and the pain was evident in his voice. "Mom, we're going to end this, and you will be released, I swear."

"I know it. I'm not worried about that." She smiled, but I knew it was forced. She knew she was in a precarious position.

It was late the next day that she told me she was starting to see his memories. It was still only fragments, but it was definitely there. Pearl and I waited for it to be clear enough for her to describe what she was seeing. It took another day, and then she cried out. "I'm in!"

Pearl grabbed my hand, and I was happy that she was there. I couldn't take this alone.

"This doesn't make sense! He's not worried about us having his crystals. It seems that he wants us to have them. He wants us to discover... Oh, my God!"

"What?! Mom!" She was quiet.

"Grandma!"

"Mom!"

Slowly, she focused on me. "Amos told you lots of lies, Sweetie. Yes, he found you attractive, but that's not why he hated John so much."

I wasn't upset about that. I couldn't believe he thought John had brainwashed Perl and me. That just didn't make sense. "Why did he hate him then?"

Mom shook her head, and for a moment, I thought she wasn't going to tell me. "Pearl, would you let me talk to your mother privately for a moment?"

I nodded to Pearl, and she stood uncertainly. I was uncertain too, but I thought this might be important.

As soon as the door shut, Mom asked me, "Rosie, do you know what super-fecundation twins are?"

I shook my head. What did this have to do with anything?

"Melody Carlson had a set of twins. But she was cheating on George. Super-fecundation twins have different fathers. George was one of the fathers, and Ron Goodwin was the other father."

"You're saying that Amos and John are brothers?!"

"Half brothers, Rosie. Yes." I didn't say anything as it was plain she wanted to say more.

She didn't speak for several minutes, and I couldn't take it anymore. "What aren't you telling me, Mom?"

"Amos did some genealogical work when he was younger. He traced his genes. There was no way Ron Goodwin could be his father. Amos felt, and rightly so that his 'parents' didn't like him very much. I dove through those memories. Even from my perspective as an adult, there was no love shown to him."

"He felt he got the short end of the stick by not going with his father. And he was probably right, although right now, I'm not impressed with George and Melody Carlson."

"Did they know?"

Mom nodded. "He confronted them before he killed them. They knew. The Goodwins didn't."

"Why?" I was having a hard time keeping my voice under control.

"Amos was an albino. They thought he was sickly and didn't want him."

"That can't be right! John wasn't raised that way, Mom! He's not like that!"

"I know he's not, Rosie. Remember that time John got to our house early, and you had to rush up and change?"

I nodded. Of course, I did. You didn't forget things with the crystals.

"While you were upstairs, he told me that you liked Amos, and so did he, but his parents said Amos wasn't a good boy, and not worth a friendship. He said he didn't like his parents saying that, and he would be friends with who he wanted to be. I didn't think much of it. In fact, you were both so young that I pretty much ignored it."

"So you're telling me that Amos was justified? That's what Carla told me! Or rather Amos as Carla!". Suddenly I was glad Mom had me lock her up.

"No, Rosie. I'm not saying that at all."

I eyed her suspiciously. "Then what are you saying?"

"He feels John had the life he would have had. Should have had. You are essential to Amos because he can hurt John by hurting you. You and John both need to keep your distance. Let the others do the work: delegate, Sweetie."

I stood up. I simply had no idea how to deal with this. I needed to talk to someone. I didn't dare speak to John. Not yet. How could I tell my beloved husband that he wasn't the person he thought he was? I didn't consider for a moment that he knew. That didn't fit his character, and he would have told me by now.

I felt horrible. I didn't feel I had anyone to talk to. Finally, I thought of one person I thought I could speak with. I excused myself and left the room. Pearl was waiting in the living room. "Ready for me to come back?" She chirped.

"No, sweetheart, and for the moment, no one enters my office except me."

Pearls eyes got wide, but she didn't argue.

I made my way to Daddy's lab, Marc was busy working on some electronic doohickey when I entered, and I asked him where Daddy was.

“He’s getting some sleep. He’s been working on this almost nonstop.”

“Oh, no!" I exclaimed. "I really needed to talk to him."

“It’s okay, Rosie,” I heard his voice as he stepped out of the back room. He looked very bedraggled. I was sure he wasn’t sleeping very well without Mom. “What’s up?” he asked as he tried to wipe some sleep out of his eyes.

I didn’t really know what to say. I collapsed onto a chair in the corner where Daddy and Mom frequently took breaks when they were working on something together.

“Is it your mom? Is she alright?”

He was starting to get concerned, and I guess my frustration wasn’t helping anything. “She’s alright, Daddy, but she told me something that she’d found in Amos’ memories that is disturbing.”

“I’ll make myself scarce,” Marc said as he exited the lab.

Daddy watched as Marc exited, then asked, “What did she say?”

It came out a garbled mess. “Mom says that John’s mom had twins, and one was Amos, and one was John, but John’s father was actually Amos’ father, and Amos’ father was actually John’s.”

I figured I’d have to repeat myself, but apparently, he was able to decipher what I was saying.

“So the two of them were switched at birth? Was it a hospital mistake, or something else?”

“Mom says that John’s parents knew about it, but that Amos’ parents didn’t.”

He sat down beside me, leaned back, and pulled me into him, something he had done many times when I was a child. For some reason, Daddy never had a problem thinking of me as his daughter instead of a son. "It seems to me, Rosie, that this is the type of thing you'd normally go to your mom about."

“It would depend on what type of counseling I needed,” I told him.

“And what type do you need right now?” he asked.

I shook my head. “Is this the truth? Has she lost control to Amos? If it’s true, how does this affect me?” I paused for a moment as I realized the real question was, “How does it affect John?”

Daddy pulled me in close again. “Is it true? I don’t know, but I can tell you this. It doesn’t matter.”

“Why not?”

“Oh, come on, Rosie. You’re smarter than that."

I stared at him, and he laughed. "Don't get your tail in a curl, my dear. Let me put it another way. If this is true, is he still the same John you married?"

"Well, of course, but..."

He held up a hand that stopped me. "But what?"

I think I was going on inertia when I said, but. He was right. But what?

I had actually been planning on saying something about who his parents would then be. Why? It made no difference in who John was. I had been married to him for over a millennium and a half. I had been bonded to him for that time. So what difference did it make who his parents were?

I spent the rest of the day wandering around the bays on the upper side. I went over how I had felt regarding my initial feelings about my mother's revelation. Then, I mulled over what Daddy said.

I had been married to John for over a millennium and a half. So what did it matter that knowledge of his parents had changed? He hadn’t -- not in the slightest. So what was I worried about?

I wondered what kind of relationship John would have had with the Goodwins, or for that matter, Amos with the Carlsons. Maybe, if Melody Carlson had not given the wrong child to the Goodwins, none of this would ever have happened.

Then again, maybe this wasn't her fault. Maybe George Carlson was to blame. Perhaps it was him who decided he didn't want his own child. Maybe Melody would have kept Amos, and given up John to Ron Goodwin. A mother's love is something not a lot of men understand. No. I didnt' think that was the case. I think a father's love for a boy is shown in his pride. As a man, he doesn’t dare show the same form of love he would show a girl. I saw what my own father showed to Paul. It was so different than what he showed to Carla and me, but it was clear that he loved Paul as well.

I also saw the love, the pride, that George had for John. It was difficult, if not impossible, to relate that to what Mom had said. Maybe, this confusion on my part was what Amos was intending. Perhaps he wasn't related to John in any way, except through the twists and turns of marriage.

I was back at my home, sitting on the grassy bank by the lake. I had kicked my shoes off and had my feet hanging into the icy water. I kept pulling handfuls of grass and throwing them into the water. The little lake had the appearance of being a mountain stream that formed the lake, then took off from a little creek, so its water was freezing.

I knew that I didn’t want to tell John what Mom had said. At least not right now. That just seemed like it would be more stress than he needed at the moment.

While I was sitting there, I heard footsteps behind me. It was John. He took off his shoes and sat beside me, his feet dangling in the water. He picked up a small, one-handed fishing pole, and handed it to me, then picked up one and cast across the lake. I looked at my rod. It was already baited, as was his custom. He knew I’d be willing to fish, but ever since that time we were kids, he always baited the hook for me.

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I’d been so worried, and here was John, still being John.

We were the perfect pair fishing together. He was right-handed, and I was left, so we could sit right beside each other and cast without any problem. I sent my line zinging across the water, almost to the other side of the lake. It landed with a plop. The little red and white float bobbed up and down for a couple of minutes.

I didn’t say anything for a long time. Finally, John broke the silence. “I hear I have a half brother.” Well, so much for not telling him. Damn you, Daddy!

Again, I didn't answer. “Do you think it’s true?” He asked after a bit.

“I don’t know,” I finally answered.

“Does it matter, Hon?” He asked.

“No,” I told him. “I’ve been thinking about how horrible it must be for you to be related to him that closely,” I lied.

He eyed me for a moment. “That’s pretty good. You’re getting better at lying, but I can still see it.”

I blushed, naturally, as I never could lie to him. I think he knew I was a girl all that time we were growing up. “Okay. Would you believe I was wondering if we’d have gotten together if you’d been raised by the Goodwins?”

“Yeah, I'd believe it." He cast again. "And the answer's yes."

”How can you say that, John? Things would have been so different."

“Sure, they would, but I’d have still loved you.”

“Would you? I wasn’t a girl back then.”

He laughed. “Yes, you were. I wouldn’t have dated you all those years if you hadn’t been.”

I started to laugh, then stopped as I wondered if he really did consider all those outings to be dates. If he did, he got my attention!

“Does it change anything for you, if what Mom said was true?”

“No,” he said simply. “Even if he’s my brother, or rather, half brother, it doesn’t change the fact that he needs to go.”

“But he’s your brother!” I said.

“So, you believe it?" His tone wasn't accusative. I think he really just wondered.

“I really don’t know. Mom didn’t sound like she was lying, but then again, that hardly sounds like your parents.”

He chuckled. “You didn’t live with ‘em.”

I forgot about reeling and turned to look at him. “What do you mean?”

“Dad was always opinionated, and Mom wasn’t the most loving person in the world.”

“That’s not what I saw.”

“Like I said. You didn't live with 'em. You saw what they wanted you to see. I told your mom once that I didn't want to be like 'em. That turned me off just slightly, ya know?"

“Mom told me about that. I was dressed as me, and you got there early. I had to run to change into 'boy mode'."

“Yeah. Saw you hurry away through the window. I liked your hair that way. I almost told you that I knew that day, but I didn’t want to scare you away.”

I stared at him. “You realize that there will be dire consequences if you’re lying!”

He cast once more, then said, "How about we compromise. I'm lying when I say I'm lying."

I giggled and punched his shoulder, then I felt my rod pull. What? “I thought there weren’t fish in this lake!” I exclaimed as I jerked the rod to set the hook.

“There weren’t, but I thought I’d stock it to make things more interesting. Besides, I’ve missed the way you always cooked our ‘date fish’.”

“I would have done something more fancy if I’d known they were ‘date fish’.”

“Well, then I'm glad I didn't tell you."

“Uh-huh," I said as I pulled the trout out of the water. It was a nice looking rainbow trout, about fifteen inches long. I almost hated to cook it. It was the first fish I’d caught in a very long time.

“What’s the limit on this lake?” I asked.

“As many as you can catch, plus one,” he quipped.

“So right now, it's two?" He jerked his line as it pulled away. "Uh, three, I mean?" I quickly amended.

“I’ve re-baited your line. Let's see what it is."

We stayed there, fishing, and just enjoying each other's company for a long time that afternoon and into the evening. I cooked the fish in the simple way I had long ago, and he paid the consequences later that night. Wow! Did he pay!

Chapter 3.8

John and I had a fantastic night. I got up in the morning and sat down at my piano. I hadn’t played in some time, and just let my fingers go, regarding all the feelings I had been experiencing with this crazy situation we found ourselves in.

I felt terrified for my husband. Amos had already killed one half brother. What was to stop him from destroying the other?

Daddy had turned off the radio contact for the computers to control Amos’ memory unit. I wasn’t sure what that would mean for the ability to change himself into something else, either.

After I had played for a long time, I stopped and was surprised when John came into my studio and sat down beside me. “That sounded great, Hon.”

With fifteen hundred years together, John knew all of my repertoire by heart, so it was no surprise when he asked, “Emotions?”

I nodded.

“Last night?” He asked.

Immediately, I jumped into a lively, happy song.

“Yeah. That's about how I figured it too.”

I stopped playing and gave him a big smile. “Okay, buster. We never did settle whether you were being truthful when you said all those things we did when we were kids were dates.”

“Is that so hard to believe?”

“I guess I have trouble with it because I knew you were straight.”

“And I will always wonder why you never transitioned when you were a teen.”

“Because I didn't know how you’d react. I decided that I would rather remain a male friend rather than risk losing you completely.”

“You never would have lost me.”

I nodded, and he pulled me up. We went out to the porch swing again, and I leaned against him as we gazed out to the water. It was perfect. An absence of the tension we had both been feeling for so long.

Until Amos walked around the side of the house again.

”Well, I suppose I’ve given you enough time.”

“Time for what?” I asked.

“Be quiet, Eugene. I want to speak to my brother.” My old name was spat out as if it was something vile.

“You killed Fredrik,” John told him. “Also, I don’t take kindly to your speaking to my wife that way.”

“I don’t give a damn what you think of my way of speaking to your wife, and you know perfectly well that you’re the brother I’m speaking of.”

“Say what?” John acted utterly shocked.

“You are my brother. My birth mother was your mother, as well. Not that she gave a thought to what happened to me after I was born.”

“Where the hell have you come up with this fantasy?” I asked, taking my cue from John.

Amos was up the steps and ready to swing at me in a heartbeat, but his fist never moved from being cocked. John’s hand was holding his in place.

“If you hit her, I swear, I will take you apart piece by piece, and your precious bots won’t be able to put you back together.” John let go of Amos’ hand and patted his right cheek. “Besides, Amos. I still owe you for all you did to us downstairs, so get your carcass off this porch, state your business, then leave, or I’m gonna kick your lousy ass all the way back to Earth. Got that?”

I couldn’t define what emotion flitted across Amos’ face, but it seemed to have an element of fear in it. Then, it was gone, and he laughed. “Very well, John. I’ll let you have your fun for now,” he said lightly as he moved onto the grass.

“As to my business, it is, as I stated. You have my crystals, and I think you have had time for someone to go into my memories and see what happened when we were infants.”

Once more, I challenged him. “And you expect us to believe this?” I was curious if I’d see more of his emotions. I wanted to know if he was afraid.

“I would never expect someone of your feminine persuasion to understand what I’m saying. Perhaps I should explain a little more. Your husband’s mother fucked my father the same time she was fucking his. When she went into labor with me, she gave birth to him as well. Why she wanted his inferior genetic makeup in her son is beyond me, but she sent me to live with his father while he got to stay with our mother and my father. He got my place in life.” His loathing for me was apparent, but he didn’t try to strike me again. That was something, at least.

He turned to John. “It is your fault that this has happened to all those people down there. You and your taking my place.”

“Assuming we were to believe you, which is a huge stretch,” I said, “None of this would be John’s fault. You have always had a choice how you treat others. You have made your choice. You have to live with it. Not John.”

“Wrong, dear sister-in-law. You, and everyone else, has to live with my choice.”

“No, Amos. We will beat you. You will be the one who cannot live with my choice. I will not allow it.” I stood up and moved to the edge of the porch and gazed down at him. Even on the same level, I was taller than him. Standing on the porch, I towered over him. “And then, you son of a bitch, right before I kill you for hurting my people, I will show you that a woman has beaten you. And I will laugh as I kill you for the last time.”

I knelt, so my head was almost down to his level. “Now,” I said sweetly, “Get your lousy ass out of our yard before John kicks you all the way back to Earth.”

“Just one second, Amos,” John said as he descended the steps. Without even a hesitation, he gave the smaller man such a powerful blow to the chin that Amos was lifted entirely off the ground and landed sprawled on the ground a few feet away. “Wow. I don’t know what happened. I must have slipped on that last step. Oops.”

He turned his back on the ‘emperor’, climbed back up the steps, took my arm, and we walked inside.

We sat down in my office and turned on the direct feed from our security system to my screen. We watched as Amos lay there, on the ground, for several minutes, unmoving.

"Do you think I killed him?" John wondered.

"I don't think so," I answered. "He's breathing."

It took another few minutes, but finally, he stood up and walked back to the door, which led to Heaven's Rose and downstairs.

I turned the screen off, then turned to my husband. "That felt good."

He nodded but said, "I wish I had killed him."

"It would have been nice, but do you really think it would have accomplished much? We would still have all those people downstairs who need to be returned to themselves."

"Rose, you don't think he's gonna change them back, do you? He isn't that cordial. Or smart."

"I suppose not. John, I want him to change. I know he won't, and maybe I'm still holding out some hope that he was telling me some truth when I dove into his memories. I felt those emotions in there, and they seemed real. It was devastating!"

He gave me a sympathetic look and nodded. "But you know he's gonna have to die."

"I know, but that doesn't make it any easier."

He moved his chair right beside mine and put an arm around me. "I don't want to sound like I don't trust you, Rosie, but do you want me to take over this operation?"

I shook my head. "I appreciate the offer, John. I really do, but I don't think I would forgive myself if I backed out now."

"Fair enough, " he told me.

Later that night, we were in my office, with the same command staff we usually worked with. We showed them our security system’s recordings of the incident.

While we were watching, Paula asked me to pause the video and then back up. I did and then stepped one frame at a time until that emotion flitted across his face.

“There!” she exclaimed in triumph, and I left it sitting on that frame.

“He’s scared,” Daddy said.

“Very,” Marc agreed.

John stared at the screen for a while. Finally, he asked, “Why?”

I wasn’t sure what response we’d get, but Mom was watching on her screen at home. “Mom?” I asked.

“I’m checking into it now. Very interesting. He doesn’t seem to know about me. He was bluffing. He also isn’t sure we have the belt buckle.”

“That’s if you’re telling the truth," I stated, needlessly.

Mom didn’t answer. I know she was upset, but I had to say it. She had pointed out that I needed to run with my gut instincts while in command, and I was taking her advice.

Finally, she said, "This is something that we haven't had to deal with before. When we left Earth, we ended up in a horrible situation. It was a war, but with a computer. Not with a real person. Now, we are dealing with someone who can think for himself, not a machine that has no free will."

"What are you getting at, Mom?" Paula asked.

Mom looked at me in sympathy. "When I injected these bots, I was trying to spare you the burden of command. I'm sorry, Rosie. I shouldn't have done that. It wasn't my call."

I nodded. "But you're right, Mom. We've never had to deal with this type of thing. I've never commanded in this type of situation. For fourteen hundred years, we've had an almost paradise here. No crime, people getting along. I wasn't prepared. I'm still not."

"What are you saying? You're not stepping down, are you?" Daddy asked.

I nodded. "Earlier, John asked me if I wanted him to lead this operation, I said 'no,' but the more I think about it, the more I think he's right. Even through all the things that have happened to me, I still can't seem to let go of the hope that Amos will change."

"That's a commendable attitude, " Paula said, "but you know he won't."

"I know, Sis. But because of that... irrational hope, I think there might come a time when I can't make the right decision. For this reason, I think I should give command to someone else."

No one said anything for a long while. Finally, Marc asked, "Who? No one else is any more prepared than you."

"You're wrong, Marc. Paula is. She beat him once. She can beat him again."

I saw Paula's head snap up at my declaration; then, she shook it. "No, Sis. It's your ship now. I gave it to you a century ago. I don't want it back. I would run the operation, and no offense, John, but I think I'm better qualified than you for that, but I won't take command. I just lost Fred to that asshole. I'm not qualified to lead."

"We've all lost someone to him, " John said.

"You haven't," said Rashda.

"Yes, I have. I just lost my parents. Again."

"You believe Mom," Paula said as a statement rather than a question.

"Yes, I do."

Mom gave a sad smile.

"I'll do it, " Daddy suddenly said.

"You want to take command?" Paula was incredulous.

"Why not? I've lost several people, but I think I'm pretty level headed." He turned to look at Mom. "Bernie, I was mad before, but I know why you did it. You saw what none of us did. We may end up sacrificing many more of our friends before this is through, but we could be the last remnants of our people. Amos has to be stopped whatever the cost."

Now was my most significant command ever. I thought about it, and he was right. "Okay, Daddy. You are in control until you choose to give it to someone else."

"Now wait a minute, Rosie..."

"I'm tired, Daddy. I want to cook. To play music. I'm done being in charge of, as you said, 'the last remnants of our people.'"

He sat, staring at me for several minutes, then finally said, "Alright."

For several weeks now, Mom reported that Amos had been searching all over the downstairs for his memory crystals. He wasn’t convinced that we didn’t have them, but he wanted to cover any bases. It was conceivable that Bob had left them somewhere downstairs, and resisted the persuasion of Freddie. As unlikely as that seemed, it was possible. What was more likely was that Bob had handed off the item to one of his friends, and that person made it back upstairs. He knew it was somewhere on board, because he could still access it, but he couldn’t tap into the computer.

"Vern," Mom alerted Daddy in a meeting one day. "I'm afraid the time has come to act."

"What's wrong, Bernie?"

"Amos has decided to adapt a computer to interface with his crystals in a similar way to his buckle computer."

Daddy snapped his head around. "Are you sure?" he asked, but I could tell he already knew the answer.

She nodded, and when he turned his head to face us, he looked much older than just a few moments ago.

"Okay, everyone. It's time. What are our options?"

"We're not finished, " Winston told him. "It's not even usable yet."

"Why isn't it usable?"

"It takes a power supply the size of the generator in this bay to run it!" Trent was aghast.

"Hold that thought," Daddy told them.

"Paula, can you have some of your people in invisibility suits at the ready?"

"How many?"

"This is it, people—all of them."

He went on to explain his plan, and I don't think any of us were thrilled, but he was our commander, and we had all been ready for this, just in case.

We worked hard for the next four days. So many of the population helped. Most of us helped Winston and Trent with their invention. Every access tube to the other side of the ship was covered by it.

I spent hours in my kitchen, preparing food for the workers, as Heaven's Rose was cleared out. As the last of my tools were removed and taken to the bay, I took one last look at what had been my favorite hangout for centuries. I started up to my house where I knew I was going to have a good cry.

Once everything was ready, we met in the center of the town near our house beyond the lake and the woods. We had talked about it, and the town was now referred to as Freeman City. It wasn’t a city, as the population was just a little more than two thousand. The total population of Neo22 was approximately five times that many. About two thirds of that were downstairs, in the part ‘owned’ by Amos. We were about to make a proposition to the self made emperor of the ‘underworld’ as it were. I was there for two reasons. One, I had been the commander of the ship for several years previously, and two, I was the daughter of the new commander. I had taken myself out of the chain of command – well, not really out of the chain, but a few links down. The chances of me becoming the commander again, were about as much as the secretary of Education suddenly finding herself President. Not impossible, but very unlikely.

Paula was second only to Daddy, now. Our confrontation with Amos was Daddy’s plan, but Paula was responsible for its execution.

We moved to the passageway down, and made sure that the field Winston and Trent had built was in operation, then we made our way to the giant opening into the center ring.

We had had an ace that no-one but four security men and Doctor Jack knew about. I told Daddy right after he took command, and he had now made use of it. When Doctor Sylvia, Bob, and two other security men went downstairs, Bob and one of the security men had died. Sylvia returned with Amos’ belt buckle, but the last security man had remained behind, keeping an eye on things, while we, in turn, had two people keeping an eye on him at all times.

Now, he had made his presence known to Amos, and was extending our invitation to come upstairs via the command center.

We waited. Mom had come out of her home for this final ‘showdown’ and stood beside me. She announced that Amos and Ralph, the security man, were on their way up, through the command center. She kept us informed of their progress. When they were almost to the access point into our inner ring, she told me, then stepped forward to Daddy's side. John took my hand, and we watched as the absolutely white-skinned Amos stepped into the ring across the way from us. That ring was nearly a quarter mile across, and he and Ralph started crossing. Partway to us, Ralph turned to his left, and made his way toward the next bay, and then through the door into it.

Amos stopped walking, and looked somewhat surprised, as a sound like a horrible windstorm erupted behind him, and then to the sides. Finally, it sounded between us, and stopped. He was at the opening, and he started to move again.

“I wouldn’t, if I were you,” Daddy told him.

“You’ve managed a force field,” Amos said, nodding his head appreciatively. “Impressive.” He reached up. “Can I touch it?” He asked. He honestly sounded curious.

“Well, you can, but I’m not responsible for what it does to you.”

Amos chuckled. “That bad, is it?”

“I don’t know. No human has touched one. We tested it with a cow. It walked right into the field, and flew back fifty meters. We didn’t even have to grind the hamburger.”

Amos withdrew his hand a bit. “Is that why I feel a breeze near it?”

Daddy nodded.

“So it would appear that the larger the mass, the harder it is repelled.”

“So it would seem,” Daddy agreed.

“Is this what you wanted to show me, Mister Richards?”

Mom held up her hand, in which she held the buckle.

“It appears you have me in check,” Amos observed.”

“Not mate?”

“No. I still have a few aces up my sleeve.”

“Chess, poker. Why don’t you stop with the metaphors,” Paula said disgustedly.”

“It’s alright, Baby,” Daddy told her.

“Baby,” Amos laughed. “The man who had me tortured and killed is called ‘Baby’. How ironic.”

“In thirty seconds, this half of the station will be blown loose, from the rest. We will sacrifice those in the downstairs section, but we will survive. You, however, will not, as the field behind you will release and you will be ejected.” Daddy showed no emotion at all as he informed Amos of his near future.

Amos showed no surprise or fear, as he turned to Mom. “Mrs, Richards, I suggest that you search my memories of when I was using Carla’s body. When I first came aboard this ship.”

Mom dove, and when she came out of it, she told us, “He has placed a fail-safe device in the command center. If he gets more than approximately ten and a half miles from it, the command center will explode, taking the entire downstairs, and probably us with it.”

“Checkmate,” Amos said to Paula.

“No, Amos. it’s not.” Once again, Daddy showed no emotion. “At this point, I don’t give a damn. You can blow up the command center if you want. We may live, or we may not. I don’t care.”

I believe Amos could see that Daddy was dead serious.

“Very well. I’ll make you a counter proposal. My life, and freedom from you, for your daughter, Carla.”

I gasped in hope, and I think Mom did as well.

“Where are her crystals?”

“Very intuitive, Mister Richards. They are buried in the bottom of the lake. Their computer is turned off. Turn it back on, and she’s all yours.”

“You know this isn’t over, Amos,” Daddy told him.

“I wouldn’t expect it to be,” Amos replied and turned to walk toward the command center. The field opened and closed, then he was gone.

Five minutes later, Daddy quietly told John, “Do it.”

John gripped my hand tightly, and pulled a remote out of his pocket with his other hand. He turned it on, then pressed the single button.

BOOM!

The sound was like six thousand souls crying out to us for our betrayal.

I agreed.

The End

---

Author's Note: This is the end of the first book. The second is in the works.
The station is now split into two sections, and flying side by side. Now what?

I'd like to thank Malady for his help editing this.

To Return Home

Chapter 1.1

I dove into the water, alongside my sister, Paula. Neither of us wore any of the diving equipment of old, except for a pair of goggles each. I hated trying to see underwater without them. Many people didn’t worry about them either, but I had hated blurry vision since I was a kid. Before I was injected with nanobots, I was myopic, but the bots had cured me of that problem almost immediately. My vision had been perfect ever since then. To dive into the water and not be able to see was too nerve-wracking. Perhaps since it took me back to the time before I was female? I wasn’t sure, but nevertheless — I wasn’t willing to do it.

Now, Paula and I started to descend to the bottom. Mom and Daddy were already there and had been for quite some time. Probably for over half an hour. We rarely thought about it anymore, but under normal circumstances, we would not drown. I’m not sure how they would do it, but the bots were able to keep us oxygenated.

I was a bit freaked as I dove, not because I had never done it before, but because I was fearful that Amos might have planned for this eventuality. When he told us he buried Carla's crystals in the lake, it seemed too quick.

I suppose that is one of the reasons John offered to drain it. He felt Amos had been too quick to provide a compromise.

Daddy, however, wanted to try it this way first. Mom had seen where they were buried from Amos’ point of view, so hopefully, she would be able to find it quickly.

It wasn't to be, however. For two days, they had been searching and had found nothing. I tried to get Daddy to agree to Paula and me helping, but he was very reluctant. Both he and Mom didn't want to lose another daughter, but we wanted to save help our sister. It was a tough call for Daddy, I'm sure, and even tougher for us to obey, but I had given the command of Neo22 to him. I couldn't suddenly decide that I wasn't going to follow his direction.

Finally, halfway through the third day, Daddy agreed to let us help. So, now, we were diving in to help. I wasn't sure we would be useful, but it was well worth a try.

We reached the bottom, and though I could feel the pressure of thirty feet of water over my head, it wasn’t painful. I was glad I wore the goggles, however. I was able to see it fine.

I’d heard some people say that the bots changed their eyes after a significant time underwater. They supposedly created some external lens on the eye that allowed unhindered vision. I didn’t want that. They had altered me enough, thank you very much.

Perhaps that sounds hypocritical of me. After all, the most significant change the bots made to me was the most beautiful change I could have had. The fact was, however, I didn’t trust Amos, and allowing his bots to change my body anymore, went completely against my grain.

We searched the area around where Mom and Daddy were, digging in the lake bed a significant distance -- no luck. Finally, as we began to widen the search area, I heard a triumphant explosion of sound from Paula’s direction. I looked her way and saw her holding up a chain with a pendant and the familiar, turquoise-colored crystals in it.

Happily, I followed the others as they headed for the surface. John handed me a towel as I walked onto the shore. “You know, we’re going to have to go swimming here more often. I love your outfit, Hon.”

I blushed with the others hearing what he said, even as I was pleased with what he said. I glanced down at my swimsuit and smiled. In truth, I had asked a friend to make it, specifically for John's enjoyment. It was a two-piece and left very little to the imagination. Usually, wearing it with my parents around would have been out of the question. In fact, when Daddy approved Paula and me helping, both of us hurried home, and returned in similar outfits.

Daddy turned crimson and looked like he was about to explode, but since the only other people there were my husband and daughter, and Paula’s fiance, he decided to let well enough alone. He started to say something about skinny dipping, and Paula acted like she was going to remove what little she was wearing. Daddy held up his hands and said, “Forget I said that. What you have on is perfect.”

“Why thank you, Daddy,” I said, and he blushed all the more. I watched as Paula smirked as she turned away from Daddy.

Marc snorted, and Daddy turned on him. “You were saying?”

“Absolutely nothing, Sir.”

“That’s what I thought.”

He and Mom entered the water again, and Paula and I discussed where we wanted to search. We decided to add to our parent’s efforts and went in after them.

Once we had found them, Daddy and Mom took the crystals back to their lab, and the next day, they started working to see how to turn them back on.

-=#=-

John and I went back to our home, happy that the crystals had been found. I felt like celebrating, and I made a lovely dinner for the three of us.

Pearl, however, had other ideas. When I called her for dinner, she came out of her room, dressed to the nines.

She looked at the table and seemed chagrined as she told me, "Oh. I'm sorry, Mom. I forgot to mention that I was going to see Rashda tonight."

I was prepared to be mad, but John said, "That's okay, Pearl. Your mom and I have some things to do tonight. We'll be okay."

I started to respond; then, I saw Johns face.

Once Pearl left, I told him, "There will be severe consequences for approving Pearl going out tonight."

"You do realize, Rose, that our daughter is a few decades older than we were when we left home, right?"

"Is she? Then how come she's still living here?" I asked, all innocence.

He stared at me for a moment, as if trying to figure out what I was doing. "I'm not gonna win this, am I?"

"Do you want to?"

A smile started at the corner of his mouth. "Let's eat, then take this up in the bedroom."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea, husband of mine."

When I finally got to sleep, it was with a beatific smile on my face. I think John had one as well.

The next morning, we made our way to my parent's house, holding hands and reveling in the glorious morning. It had rained, complete with thunder and lightning, during the night, and the smell was beautiful. I had always loved the smell after a thunderstorm. I think John had programmed the storm when we planned our night. He knew I loved them, and I believe he wanted to keep me in a chipper mood during our walk.

The silly but wonderful man loved to act like he was somewhat clueless where women were concerned, but I knew better. He was very skilled in taking me to the top and keeping me there—multiple times.

In return, I knew exactly what to do to get him almost to the top several times before finally letting him relax.

Last night had been incredible for both of us.

Now, walking together, hand in hand took me back to our childhood. I had wanted to do this so many times, to be his girlfriend. Had I known that he wanted me to be as well, my childhood would have been so much better.

We didn't say much, which was fine with me. Just being together was enough. I think John felt the same way. He didn't seem to want to talk about our sex life. It was something that both of us left in the bedroom except for the inuendos that we enjoyed using to get each other in the mood.

We weren't hurrying, and I let my mind drift as we strolled along.

The fact that we found Carla's crystals thrilled me. I was so much looking forward to being able to talk to her. To sit down and discuss things.

I had no idea if she would remember all the time Amos controlled her, and I had no intention of reminding her of it. My main desire was to build a relationship with her.

Subjectively, I was now the youngest of all three of us. Neo22 had been constructed from material found in asteroids. While Centaurus waited for N22 to return, the people on board designed and built it.

Centaurus waited ten thousand years for N22 to return, but for us, only two hundred passed from our exile to our return.

That ten thousand years was after several centuries passed on earth between our leaving and Centaurus being launched.

I was only born seventy-five years before Carla was, and now she had millennia more experience than I did, as did Paula. To be fair, both of them were millennia older than Daddy and Mom as well.

The perils of space travel at high speed, I suppose.

We arrived at my parent's lab after a long walk. Marc and Paula were there, and from their demeanor, I suspected that they spent the night much as John and I had. Interestingly, Rashda and Pearl were also there. Was last night a celebratory night for all of us? It seemed so.

On a hospital bed, being tended to by Doctors, Jack and Sylvia was my little sister! She was completely thawed, and I saw that her body was alive.

We gathered around Daddy's workbench and waited for him to go into teacher mode. He looked up at us, and my elation quickly dissolved.

“Something’s wrong?” I asked.

“Yeah, Rosie. Something is very wrong.”

My throat went dry, and I felt my chest tighten. “What is it?”

“It appears as though Amos is up to his old tricks again.”

“How so?” Paula wondered.

“Carla is alive and will stay that way, but Jack and Sylvia tell me that it is all autonomous brain function. I've studied the bots in her body, and every one of them is dead."

“What?!!?” I almost screamed.

“So, she could get an infraction at any time!" John exclaimed.

“Infection, yes,” Daddy agreed. “That isn’t the worst of it, however. I can replace her nanobots. I can even reprogram them for the correct frequency, but her crystal computer shut down once it lost connection with her living brain.”

“But what about the information stored in her brain?” I asked.

“She is alive, Rosie. But her brain has short term memory, but it can’t access the long term memory.”

“Why?”

“I’ll show you, Rose,” Doctor Sylvia said to me.

She motioned me over to a portable scanner that she had and told me to lie down. She pulled the scanner in place and took several pictures of my head.

When she removed the scanner, she showed all of us the pictures as a moving, 3D image.

“Here is the problem, and as you've probably guessed, it is a problem all of us have." She pointed at a section of the picture. "This is where the short term memory is stored, and here," she said, indicating most of the upper parts of my brain, "is where long term memories are stored." Once more, she pointed to a section. "Notice that this section of Rose' brain seems to have very few connections going through it..."

She was cut off by Pearl. "I'm sorry, Doctor Sylvia, but I just know this is in my brain. Other than that, I'm lost."

Sylvia nodded and touched a control. We seemed to rush into the image in a heartbeat. I felt vaguely ill, knowing I was looking at what was inside my head.

She pointed at what looked like an incredibly complex network of cables. "Notice how all of these are interconnected?" I nodded as did my daughter. "This is where your short term memory is stored, Rose."

I watched as some of the connections disconnected and reconnected elsewhere. "What's going on?" I asked, alarmed.

Sylvia smiled. “You’re thinking.”

“The connections change?" I asked mystified.

“The brain can rewire itself, and that's how you think."

“Essentially,” Marc supplied, “That’s how a computer thinks as well.”

“Now, let's look at your long term memory."

Dizzyingly, we seemed to fly through my brain until we stopped somewhere else. It was very similar to the complex connections in my short term memory, but nothing was moving.

John speculated, “No connections are changing. I’m assuming because these longterm memories are set.”

“No,” Jack told us. “Even though these are stored in a much more permanent manner, they still rewire, to connect certain memories to others. If something has the same sound, or smell, as something else they will interconnect.”

“Why aren’t they?” Paula asked, looking around.

“Because this part of the brain is essentially dead.”

I felt faint. Thankfully, John was beside me, because I think I would have fallen if not for him.

“Explain that,” John said, sounding dangerous.

“Well, it's not really dead," Sylvia supplied. "but it's completely inactive."

“That’s not much of an explanation.”

“Let me continue, John.” She waved a hand, and we sped back toward the short term, but we stopped before we got there.

“The picture zoomed in a bit, and we saw something startling. Many of the nerves going through the area were fine, but others seemed to be cut off, with gray cells connected to them. “Those are nanobots,” Daddy said somberly. “They are intercepting your thoughts before they can be stored in your long term memory. Some of your nerves are still intact, but others…”

He took a deep breath and went on. “We looked in your mother’s and my heads. We have no interconnections left.”

“So, what are the nanobots doing?" I asked, chilled to the bone.

“I understand,” Marc said in wonder. “The crystals are taking over. And the computers act as the file server for our memories.”

“Exactly,” Daddy nodded.

“But what about the interconnections?” Paula asked.

“Once something is stored in a crystal, it is there to stay. However, connections can be made in the lattice, much like they are here. The difference is, all of the original connections are still there. That’s why your memory is crystal, no pun intended, clear. We literally can’t forget anything.”

“So all those people over there...” I began.

“All their memories are there,” Marc said. “They have to be.”

Something was bothering me, and I finally figured out what it was. “I was being programmed to forget that I was a human. Those people have completely forgotten their pasts, yet you say none of us can forget anything.”

“Well, we don’t know that they've forgotten their pasts. They might know of them, but be unable to act on them. Remember how we were with the fear of each other.” Marc said, “It would be possible, I suppose, if the computer were programmed to ignore anything saved beyond a certain point. Then it wouldn’t get through to the person’s brain.”

“Wouldn't someone younger have some connection to their old self from their brain?"

“In theory," Jack agreed, "unless Amos sped up the degradation of the connections artificially."

“I’d say this is all artificial,” John growled. “We should have killed that bastard when we had the chance.”

“Quite right,” Jack agreed. “Quite right.”

“So, we would have to build a new computer to communicate with her crystals and bots?” I asked.

“Yes,” said Daddy.

“Marc,” I asked, “Could you duplicate the computer in Carla’s necklace?”

“Sure. I might have to build a new case for it all. I can get a Kris to do that.”

“Do it,” I said. I turned to Jack. “Get her ready to wake up, and Daddy; give her new bots that will interface correctly.”

I realized everyone was staring at me. I had just given several commands, one even to the new commander, and it wasn’t my place.

Daddy was smiling at me. "You should never have given up command, Rosie." He turned to the others. "You heard her; get going!"

Marc grinned and turned to me. “Yes, Ma’am!”

“Sorry, Daddy," I said as I turned bright red.

“That’s okay, Sweetheart. I think you should take command back, but I understand you don’t want to.”

He paused for a moment, then asked. “Would you be willing to head up this project? Bringing Carla back to us? You’re absolutely passionate about it.”

“I spent time with the real her in my dive through Amos' crystals," I thought about it, then told him, “You’re right, Daddy. I’m very passionate about this. I’ll lead the project.”

“Good, Rosie. Do your best. I want all three of my girls, Okay?”

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