I can't believe I'm doing this.

After Friday's performance I had asked Kim to remove the forms and hair things. She just looked at me funny and asked me why since I was gonna wear them again anyways. Seems nobody told me that the play was on for four days. Two shows on Saturday, two on Sunday and a final one tonight.

Sleeping with boobs is ...not fun. If I wasn't exhausted I would probably have had insomnia by now. Saturday's showing was if anything more popular than Friday's. Mr. Sams the production manager/director/school teacher from drama department made sure to get me to sing the ballroom scene just like Friday's accident.

Some idiot on Friday soaked the machine with cola and it blew a breaker killing the sound system. Our band has had to rush to learn all the pieces for the production instead of just a few. One of the stage girls said it was my fault for being so drop dead beautiful. I laughed and told her no guy would even like a guy like me dressed like a girl. When I look in the mirror I sure as heck don't see a girl.

Still I was kinda proud of the way I have done most of the shows. I did miss a few lines on Friday after that idiot kissed me. Oh that, well you see the final part of the play has me being seen kissing, or so the audience was to believe, our lead prince/beast Jason. Don't get me wrong he isn't ugly or anything I just don't swing that way. My sister is kinda crushing on him big time though.

Anyways he was to grab me for the final kiss and the curtain was to close on us prepping for the final scene of marriage and how the kingdom released from curse and all that where Belle says a few words here and there. Then we all take a bow and that's it. Well the curtain didn't close and I got kissed. Deeply kissed by that that... asshole!

I mean really what did he ... Grrr! It still pisses me off! I spent a fair amount of time and toothpaste that night at home washing out my mouth.

Jason of course grinned like an idiot at me the whole time while I was struggling to not deck him. Mr. Sams wanted us to repeat it. I literally put my foot down, and through the floor. Weak plywood, got my point across though. I may sorta look like Belle but I'm not, I'm a guy and damn proud of it!

My sister got to see our performance from the news Saturday night. Apparently someone sneaked in a really good video recorder so I was displayed being Belle for everyone who watched the local news to see. Samantha is tickled pink at having a famous sister. The worst part for me is that the dolt on TV reported that I ... well you see.. Oh hell his exact words were." What really makes this performance so unusual is that Belle is really played by Belle Thorn a young transsexual who has hastened her transition from Bill, her birth name to the lovely young lady she is all to help her older sister Samantha Thorn. Samantha Thorn was injured..."

Me a transsexual, like get serious! No way do I want to lose any part of my maleness no way no how I'd kill myself first. I remember looking to mom and seeing her face bone white while dad was laughing his head off. Actually he wasn't entirely laughing as he was crying at the same time. He eventually stopped got up and left the house. I saw him the next morning with a very bad hangover hugging the toilet. He never made it to church.

I should mention that Sunday church was not a good time for me. With what happened in the news and such I made sure to dress as much like a boy as possible. Mom said I looked like a girl in her brothers clothing and made me change into something more androgynous. I wore my sister’s slacks that zipped in the back, her flat black shoes, and a white sleeveless sweater. Okay so not that androgynous but it was as close as my sisters wardrobe would allow. My clothes tended to the baggy grudge look or my one good suit. I had tried the suit at first it didn't work. I flatly refused to put on a dress or skirt.

I want to say that at the church we go to there is something of a dress code. All women, and girls, wear dresses as a rule. Men can get away with golf shirts and dress pants but most wear a nice suit. So into this mix walks little ole me the supposed transsexual. I'm male so I should wear pants but the looks we got were deadly to say the least. After the service was the usual reception out back where mom tried valiantly to explain the mistake on the news, the minister's wife actually took me aside at one point to a group of older ladies.

Now this is something I have never encountered before and gods help me never want to encounter again. The group of older ladies, along with the minister's wife, grilled me alive. I was told in no uncertain terms that as a woman I was expected to arrive next weekend dressed appropriately as a proper young lady in a suitable dress. Actually not just suitable but, "a proper white virgin dress of a young lady for confirmation." In other words, one of those lacy things with the lace gloves and all that, so I could be reconfirmed as a daughter of the church.

Of course I apologized and politely agreed to their terms. Not! I told them they were all bugging nuts! I was only doing this as part of a play to help out my sister. I ended up screaming out loud, loudly enough for everyone to hear, that I was not and would not be a girl, I was a guy. I may have put in some light cuss words. This earned me a trip outside by my ears. Both of them, Old ladies are really not the best people to piss off. I was made to wait standing in front of the statue of the Virgin Mary till my mom was allowed to come rescue me.

When she did she was visibly upset. I somehow don't think we will be going back to that church anytime soon. After church we did go to visit my sister in the hospital. Word had gotten back to her of what had happened in the church. She was vastly amused! However it was just my luck that some little girl in a wheelchair insisted on seeing me. It was obvious that she was in pain and with the bald head not quite covered by some wig she was still overjoyed to see Belle. I'm not that much of a bad guy really and soon found myself in the children's wing singing that song to the girls. I actually cried at how happy they were. It was a very touching moment and my little acting skit along with my singing was all it took to brighten these poor little girls from their gloom.

Heck even Mom and my Sister, who is now almost ready to leave the hospital as she can get around in a wheelchair, were openly weeping. My sister is not in shape to do a duet with me yet but maybe by next weekend she will be.

That afternoon the play was not as popular as it was Saturday. Don't get me wrong there was lots of people there it’s just that my stunt in the church had toned down a fair amount of people's attitudes towards me. There was also the disturbing part of the other half believing I was a young trans-woman transitioning.

Last night at 6 pm before the 7 pm showing however the news was on and once again I made a splash. "Although she is still in denial and scared to show her true colors in church yet. Young Belle made a huge difference at the hospital wing today as she sang beautifully to the children. For some of these children it may be their last happy memory and to this we give our thanks. Thank you Belle for being a Princess to my Daughter."

Dad had another bad hangover this morning and Mom put some blankets over him by the toilet. Thankfully we have three bathrooms. Mom said she and dad, when he was functional, would go to the solicitor’s office to see about any legal repercussions. I am of mixed thoughts. While the news guy was jumping the gun calling me a transsexual my heart still goes out to him and his sick daughter. I think Mom feels the same way but he still is making my life more than a bit difficult.

Today I'm still in the corset, for the very last day although its loose but I'm not gonna tell mom that, and will be free of "Belle" tonight. Mom came in with me to the office to explain the situation to the school but we got a bit of a surprise when we were told that the roster already had my name as Belle. It kinda stopped us both when the Principle asked us to bring in a doctors letter stating my need to transition and a formal declaration of gender identity disorder along with any legal information regarding such. I was told to use the unisex washrooms or staff washrooms to avoid problems. While this is good it does cause yet another problem. I'm not a transsexual and will not have such a letter. I tried to explain it was for the play but apparently even the Superintendent had seen the news.

I should mention I'm in jeans and a hoodie. No it’s not my sisters although I'm wearing her bra the rest is mine. It just sorta looks like a girl is all. So far today many of the girls have been surprisingly very friendly. That is a good thing for me and a bad thing. My little guy has been standing at attention a lot today. Unfortunately though, the guys are a different story. I'm being viewed as meat. Some have made it known to me in no uncertain terms that they .... Well freak was one of the nicest words they mentioned, so I was dead meat. The others are undressing me with their eyes which creeps me out majorly.

The things I do for my sister! Going into a cafeteria looking and apparently being more than accepted by some, as a girl. In eight hours Belle will make her last appearance and I go back to being Bill. I can't wait!

Comments please.

"I can't believe I'm doing this!"

How many 15 year old boys accompany their moms shopping for new bras for him to wear since he is gonna be wearing them for a bit again. Mom is getting a bit too enthusiastic about it though. She is now picking out lacy bra and panty sets.

"Mom"

"Oh just look at this one Belle it will look so cute on you don't you think."

"Mom"

"Oh and this one would look just great under a nice dress and make you feel just sexy.

"MOM!" That finally got her attention. Along with a few other women with their daughters in tow also shopping. I'm now being giggled at by a few girls.

"I'm sorry honey. I got carried away. You make such a convincing girl it's hard not to." mom said after putting down said items and she had her hand on my soft and smooth cheek. The hand felt so nice. Mom always had such soft hands that just her touch always calmed me down.

"Oh my GOD! Your Belle that transsexual girl that sang for those poor kids!"this from some young woman. She said it loudly enough that now everybody is staring at mom and myself. Too bad these racks have no hiding spaces I sure could use one right now. I thought for sure I would be attacked for being a boy in the lingerie section but that was not the case. Quite the opposite actually. I got complements on coming out early to help my sister.

I didn't understand that at first and must had an expression on my face as to such. She said coming out of the closet as a girl. The others agreed, I was a very brave girl for doing so. Then it sank in. These total strangers really believed I was a girl or at least a transgirl.

"Mooommmm" I was getting a bit freaked out actually. Mom understood and she took me out of the mall as quickly as possible before I lost it. By the time we got into the car I was openly crying hard and if I had had makeup on it would have been totally ruined. Why that thought occurred to me I have no idea but it did which didn't help my tears any.

"Why am I supposed to be a girl? Is there no hope for me to be Bill again?"

"I don't know sweetie."she pulled me into her arms and hugged me with my breasts pushing against her own."you will always be Belle, I mean Bill to me sweetie."

"Even your doing it!"

"I'm so sorry sweetie but at the moment you feel and look like my daughter. You are just so naturally pretty that it is very hard for me to see you as my son. I'll tell you what as soon as that solvent comes and we can remove the forms I'll take you out somewhere just as mother and son okay."

I just nodded it wasn't really her fault as I did look way more like a Belle than a bill at moment. The extensions may be gone but my hair has been styled into a feminine do. The forms however are still stuck to my chest. Last night after the final play was done and we were getting ready to go to the after party Kim came up to me with this horrible look in her eyes.

Somehow the solvent for the forms got lost. She and her mom had searched their house all day for it before going to the shop that loaned out the forms for the school play. The store manager tried to find the solvent for the glue that was used but they were out of stock. A quick phone call told them that a new supply should be here in 2 days barring problems. A second phone call was made to the actual store owner. The forms I'm stuck in are expensive forms, like over $400. The owner was less than thrilled to be called while on his vacation and told the manager that if the forms were not paid for and got damaged someone would be sued for triple. $1500 is a huge cost.

Kim and her mom had offered to pay for the forms but they could not afford the $400 price. They are going to see if they can find a way to come up with some cash to pay for them just in case. I know we are a bit on the broke side. No not that bad but spending that much on a pair of forms is just not in our budget. They are not covered by a clothing clause either so we found out. For now I'm kinda stuck with them and they to me. I just have to take proper care of them for now.

My sister's bras turned out to be a bit too tight so that is why mom and myself were looking at buying a simple plain bra to support, and protect them. Nothing expensive but functional. Mom had convinced me it was best to be there to test the fit to make sure it was right. I wish I had just gone to school.

My original idea was to dress in my hoodie and baggy pants. Mom... well let just say that the skin tight skimpy tee exposing my midriff and the jeans that are way to tight in the crotch are not my idea. Mom kinda went overboard when she saw what I was gonna wear. I am NOT wearing panties thank you very much. The panty girdle is not that much of a panty. It does fill out the hips and butt area and leaves my crotch a bit to ...flat for my taste. Don't worry in the car is a change of clothes. We only got the morning off to do a bit of emergency shopping. Well that and we are visiting my doctor to see if he can safely remove these these... things.

We pull into the parking lot of a smaller store. Mom says this is a good place for lingerie. I'm thinking it's like wall to wall girlland and I try to root myself to the doorstep. Did I mention I'm a wimp before? Well guess who got pulled in easily enough?

"Sally! It's been so long! Come here you. Let me look at you ...Hmm put on a few pounds I see don't worry we have this shaper that will flatten out that in no time here go try this on." This worldwind of a woman pretty much accost's mom as we enter the store with some tube like garment and a small push towards the back of the store.

"And you must be the Belle I have heard so much about " Oh shit! " So glad you joined the fair side my dear. Hmm lets have a look at you. Not bad shape quite cute actually. Hmm a panty girdle but with a waist like that you would hardly need the padding." I try to escape via the front door but I am pulled back by the waist of the jeans I'm wearing.

"Oh yes you have lots of room in the waist!" I do? These things are tight what does she mean by lots of room? Mom is walking towards the back in a sort of daze just staring at the tube like garment she is carrying.

"MOM" as in plea for help. Save me please! Shoot this lady! Tell her I'm really a boy in a spot of bad luck for a few days!

"Oh sorry Belle. Edna we are here to get her a plain simple bra that will protect her.. I mean him for a few days."

"Nonsense, pretty teen girls like her don't want drab old plain bras they want pretty feminine things just like these over here. They are imported from China and made of the finest..." and off she went. We eventually exitted the store $200 dollars poorer with the both of us in a bit of a daze. I was now the proud owner of 5 sets of satin and silk bikini panties, with a bit extra to err surpress my male bits, and seven lacy bras. Mom did not get off lightly either. She now has two matched sets and 3 shapers. Today's bonus gift was a set of silk camisole and half slips for the both of us. I'm also now wearing a black skirt over the slip the same top as before. No panty girdle and I'm not entirely sure where my old running shoes went.

As we got to the car mom stopped me and made me sit, knees together and then slide my legs in. Well I knocked my ankle but good on the car door sill but I didn't give anyone a show of my new underwear. When we finally got in and drove away I turned to mom.

"Mom what just happened?" I was in a bit of a shock that it happened at all. Worse I was a part of it. I vaguely recalled agreeing to the prettiness of the colors and fabric at one point.

"Edna...can be a bit overwhelming. I'm so sorry Bill I never thought she would do that to us. She was a bit pushy before but never like this with your sister." she said this to the steering wheel not once looking at me. This is a bad sign meaning she is way more embarrassed than she let on. I tried to reach into the back seat for my bag with my change of clothes but all I felt was the bags we had just gotten and couldn't seem to find it. Having little choice I sat in my seat on the way to the doctor's appointment. I would just have to wait till we got there to change out of this costume.

The car ride was boring but mercifully short. Finding some parking turned out to be a bit of a chore. We circled the block a few times before I spotted a parking spot opening up. Mom is not the best parallel parker. While she was busy maneuvering the car back and forth to park next to the curb I got out and fed the machine enough coins for an hour and a half. Took the printed ticket and the recipe back to the car to give my mom as she was just getting out locking the doors. It was only as we walked away and I felt the breeze on my legs that I realized I was going to my doctors for the first time ever in a skirt.

For a one time help for my sister for a play I sure seem to have a hard time trying to return to being Bill.

"I can't believe I'm... Ohh forget it!"

Yes I'm sitting in a doctor's office filled with people, some of who I know from school, that seem to enjoy my predicament. Okay the boys are just looking at me funny while the girls are half smiling half sneering at me. Getting a date after all this is gonna be an exercise in pain.

The way to tight top showing off my new lingerie, at least it feels that way, and the black flary skirt... What did mom call it something like inline? Anyways the blasted skirt is not helping. I wish I had gotten my school bag and gotten changed before the appointment. My baggy jeans, tshirt and flannel would be way better than this skimpy thing. Warmer too, the waiting room is like ice cold. I even complained as much to mom she just replied to get used to it as a price of beauty and continued reading her cosmo magazine.

I really wonder where waiting rooms get their reading material from. Town and country houses? Vogue? Cosmopolitan? Reader's digest? I mean really who reads these things like ever? The Reader's digest are all about 7 years old and yes I read all of them before. I wanted a Gamers, Hotrod, Mopar muscle or something at least vaguely boyish you know! Just once I would like that but noo I get stuck with a choice of kiddy books or Town and Country houses. I just won't touch a girly magazine.

Even the Town and Country I picked is about "How to decorate your house with $20" It is obviously aimed at women. How can I tell? Well the opening line of "That's right ladies! You can too!" is a bit of a giveaway. I was about to put it back when mom put her hand on my knee which is under the skirt right next to the other one and I'm trying to not give all the guys a show of my light pink lacy panties. I'm so embarrassed! It was a sign from her to stop my fidgeting.

"Belle Thorne?" announces the nurse. She could have at least called me Bill!

The look on my doctor's face the entire time we explained what had happened was cute. He openly laughed a few times, I tried to pout but I giggled instead. He did some checking of the forms on my chest and was surprised they were not real he said they were very convincing. He did try a few small tests of some medical adhesive solvents he had but they remained stuck. He admitted that use of glue vs stitches was still very new so he didn't have all of them. After a call to the pharmacy though he found out they did have something that would work, without eating the forms. It just takes about 40 minutes to work and then they would come off. Not really enough time for me to do that before mom returns me to school today.

The pharmacist was a little puzzled when she saw who it was picking up a prescription. She said she did not seem to have my prescription for estrogen and spirolactone on hand. She apologized that it was not ready for me and would fax my doctor for a request to fill it. Which I found really strange since the pharmacy is right next door to the doctor's office. She did have the prescription for the solvent though. Maybe one day I will found out what she meant by estrogen and spirolactone. I asked mom and she said that estrogen was what women had. She said it was like birth control pills. I just about turned around to correct the pharmacist but didn't. I wasn't a girl and I sure didn't need birth control pills!

The drive to school wasn't that long and I was bothered by the pharmacist wanting to give me the birth control pills. We were about a block away when I yelled "STOP" to mom. There was no way I was going to go to school dressed as I was!

"Belle your being silly! You look perfectly fine."I could tell she had something on her mind."I'm going to be late for work let's just get you to.."

"Mom I'm Bill remember? Your son!"I interrupted her.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry Belle I forgot you make such a pretty daughter!"

"Moooom!"

"But your quite right. You are my son and should perhaps change to reflect that. Lets pull in here but make it quick I only got the morning off and lunch is almost over."

"I'll be right back no problem"

"Better yet lets both go in you give me those clothes I'll just take them you get changed and walk to school."

"That works." my mom is a great. She and I calmly walked into the ladies washroom at a gas station about a block from school. It was only once I was in the handicapped stall that I realized my err... well error? With these boobs still stuck to me and the only undies I had were pink well I did kinda fit. I handed mom the skirt, top and slip and she handed me a backpack and left before I even had the zipper open.

"WHAT THE F***K!"

I ran out of the stall in just my undies to the bathroom door and peaked outside hoping beyond hope to yell mom down before she drove off. I opened it and saw the car pull into traffic and she was gone. I closed the door and slid down the bathroom door crying. It just wasn't fair. She gave me the wrong backpack! I sniffled for a few minutes before walking back to the stall.

The school right next to our school is a private girls school. We share some of our sports fields with them. It's a very good school but only for the uh smarter girls. They have a err uniform that is a bit. Well its sexy as hell for us boys to look at. The super short pleated plaid skirt, white blouse with puffy sleeves that has open v neck and the pullover sleeveless cardigan school sweater all combined really get my ... motor running. Little Bill would normally get quite excited just watching these girls walk by. For sports they had this tight tennis shirt and skirt combo with frilly panties.

I'm a guy remember! I would spend a long time every other day just girl watching these girls. Some of the guys would tease me about it but my saying 'if the package looks nice no harm in drooling' usually shut them up for awhile.

"This is just not fair! What did I do to deserve this shit?" I was still sat on the closed lid in the handicapped stall trying to figure out how to get out of there without putting on that that.. okay its a uniform but still its..so degrading. What was mom even doing with this in the first place! I know Sam never had the smarts to get in and I sure as hell couldn't! I checked the rest of the bag for any sign of something else. Heck if the gym uniform was in there I would have worn that home if nothing else. School be dammed! Actually...

It really didn't take me all that long to put on the outfit minus the stupid sweater. I figured without the sweater I could at least pass enough to walk a mile home even those these ballerina flat dress shoes would give me big blisters. Yes I would still look like a schoolgirl but at least not one of those schoolgirls. While I was in there I did my business. I just finished wiping up and was pulling the handle to flush when the bathroom door opened and a few girls walked in chatting away. It was far to late to stop and the toilet went whoosh! Ever notice how restroom toilets are not the most silent of things?

I debated on trying to hide in the stall but I knew I was stuck and would have to exit. From the sounds of it I didn't recognize any of the voices. This was a good thing. Opening the stall door revealed that not only was I not alone. Nor was any of these girls from my school but.. well...

"Your Belle aren't you? That transsexual girl that did the play?"

"Really is it her? Oh it is! Cool"

"Hey love your hair girl! Are you sure your a boy cause you don't look like one even in our school uniform?"

Yep the girls were from that school. This just was not my week! Somebody up there really hates me!

I can't believe ... I really gotta stop thinking that. It's happening deal with it girl! I can't believe I just thought that!

So yes here I am in a ladies restroom at a local gas station surrounded by girls, in there uniforms just like I'm wearing, from St Marys Catholic Girls Academy. Well the summer cute uniform. The pink winter one isn't so nice to look at. The girls names I'm not so sure about I caught a Crystal and Sara, not too sure about the rest though.

They of course insist that I should put on the sweater as it's 'shameful' to wear the uniform incorrectly. Whatever I pull it out of the bag and look at it, then look at theirs, then look at it again. They are not quite the same. I show them this and they are just as puzzled by this as well. Before long we leave en mass to go outside where I have all the intentions of going home. When of course I find out they came by bus and they have a teacher with them!

I finally find someone who doesn't seem to watch that idiot on tv and wouldn't you know it she believes I'm one of the girls from her school! I tried to explain who I am, even show her the sweater as proof I'm not one of her girls. It takes her a minute before she phones someone, another picture of me as Belle navigates the airwaves, and she talks for a bit. She is still suspicious but says she will drop me off at the school instead. I thank her and say I can walk... home anyways but I didn't tell her that.

I should know better as "It's not safe for a young lady to walk by herself". I insist a bit too much, okay swearing was a really bad idea. As you may have guess I arrived at my school dressed in that schoolgirl uniform complete with sweater just as lunch was finishing. So everybody was outside to see me get off the bus, it has their initials all over it, to my surprise was a group of girls, a large group, wearing a uniform just like I was.

It would seem that without trying I was helping my sister again. The original plan was for my sister to dress up in the uniform as a protest, apparently the school was thinking of enforcing a dress code. I was all for it or would be but now I'm stuck as a part of the protest in my sister's place.

"Belle you are such a sweet sister I wish I had one as caring as you."

"Thank god your not trying to be a boy anymore! You just are not one this is so you!"

"I still think your a freak so stay away from the girls bathrooms!"

"Does she have to wear it! She makes us look bad she is far too cute!"

The comments as you can see were varied. School was not fun. That skirt is way to darn short and you have to sit on the seats pantied bottom only. My new panties got exposed to the girls a few times as I was not paying attention and spread my legs open a few times. Why did I have to wear pink of all colors! I was given a note that mom would pick me up from school just before last period. I was fine with that as walking home trying to keep the skirt held down would have been a pain.

Mom was not impressed at all when I got into the car. I explained that this was her fault, or tried too, as she gave me the wrong bag. The teacher from the other school had contacted mom about my shameful language.

"Bill you have no idea how close you came to being a girl at the school after you finished this school for detention in a deportment class! My son at an all girls school! I just saved your hide mister and you better be thankful for it!"

"I'm sorry Mom it's just that I'm tired of everyone trying to make me a girl! I just wanted to go home and she wouldn't let me."

I originally thought we were going home but we went to the hospital instead. Apparently mom was to drop off the bag for my sister this morning before we got sidetracked. Today she would have been released to my mom in her two casts and she was to have come to school. However things didn't work out quite as planned. I was never so happy to visit my sister in her hospital room and get changed. Sam did thank me for doing my part to help the cause. Even though she did pout a bit that her 'sister' would disappear later that night.

After many forms and much maneuvering via a wheelchair we got Sam into the back seat of the car. She got belted in laying on her side. The rest of the ride home I spent reading the directions for the solvent. Leave on for 20 minutes and then put fingers in to separate. Additional solvent would have to be applied as necessary. I couldn't wait to get rid of these things and back to being Bill.

I should mention that before I got changed I was ambushed by the girls from the ward. I still do not know the official name of the ward. The nurses just called it the ward and that was that. Still those cute little faces and pouty eyes turn me to mush. It was that reason I had read part of the Harry Potter and the sorcerers stone book. Now many people have seen the movie but never read the first book. The first one was aimed at children and was not very thick. I prefer the movie myself so part way in I added stuff from the movie.

I am an actor of a sort and do have my wacky voice so I not only read the parts from memory in a close approximation of the actors voices but did some of the movements from the scenes as well. The girls were so thrilled they clapped, those that could, and gave me many a hug for being 'such a nice girl to read for us'. What really put tears to my eyes was the one girl in her wheelchair who said she wanted to be just like me when she grew up. Her assistant broke out into tears at the mention of this and with a bit of hand waving I got the idea she would never make it. In my pocket I have a small paper where there is a golden stick figure with the name Belle holding hands with a much smaller but upright girl in pink named Trisia. I haven't told mom or sis about this. It's a private memory I will keep.

We made it home before 5 and I was put to work helping mom make supper. Sis was helped to her wheelchair and she was positioned to see and talk with us. The meal was fairly simple leftover roast warmed up and the potatoes were chopped into a frying pan with a bit of butter. Our roasts are not beef they are tofu. We just cook them in a vegetarian beef broth which isn't that bad. Dad says it's almost as good as the real thing. Still roast sandwiches with fried potatoes and onions makes a good meal. Sam tried to put out the small pill containers herself on the table. When we have supper we also have these vitamin pills to go with it and everyone has their own pill box. She fumbled a few and burst out crying. I helped her by picking them up and giving them to her to try again while wheeling her around the table. It wasn't much but I guess after the hospital feeling like you helped with supper was a big thing.

While we waited for Dad to get home from work mom told us about her day at work. She works for a charitable, not charity, organization. A charity has volunteers where a charitable people get paid... sorta. The pay is lousy actually little more than enough to cover gas and a few expenses. The big plus is the clothing allowance card. It some stores it gets us a huge discount in others we get stuff which is totally covered. Underwear is one of those otherwise I would not have 4 bags upstairs with my new lingerie. I still don't know what I'm gonna do with them. I have to admit though the panties do keep me supported better than guys tidy whites.

Dad arrived soon enough and we ate our meal after saying the usual grace. Oh that well we all just say GRACE hands together and that's that. As to what faith we are.. its either christian or catholic I don't really know which is which. After supper we all carried the dishes into the kitchen to put in the sink. Even Sam brought hers, with me pushing the chair. We leave them soak in the sink before bed mom or dad puts them in the dishwasher to wait for a full load. None of this hand washing dishes everyday. Still dad and mom can relax, usually infront of the tv. I sometimes join them other times I go read in my room.

Today I ran upstairs and stripped off the bra so I could put in the solvent. It felt a little weird but not burning or anything so I sat at my desk doing the bit of homework while the solvent did its trick. I waited about 20 minutes or so before I checked them most of the form was ready to come off except around the nipples. I added some more solvent goop and this time it actually did burn but since I was so close I just did the grin and bear it thing. !0 minute later and a bit of skin I was free of the forms. I left them on my desktop with the gooey stuff still on them gooey side up and went to wash off the remainder on my chest. My skin felt really sensitive as I washed and I'm sorry to say got little Bill a tad excited.

Putting on a shirt after having the forms on so long felt weird. It was almost like I was breaking some rule not having anything so I grabbed a camisole and put that on. I gotta tell you a satin cami almost got me excited again on my oversensitive chest. Still it was better than a bra. Homework done I went downstairs just as the nightly news was finishing.

"In other news today our local t-girl Belle made an appearance in her St Marys Catholic Girls Academy uniform, for those who don't know St Marys is a exclusive private girls only school for talented young ladies. Our Belle entertained the girls at the hospital with an entertaining rendition of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone."

This was followed by me on screen in that uniform doing my skit of Hagrid telling Harry "Your a wizard Harry". Dad stood up from the couch and walked by the closet grabbing sis's coat from the closet and went outside. We didn't see him till the next morning where he was asleep on the couch. This left mom to answer the phone call from a certain Academy that wanted a certain girl by the name of yours truly to ah.. visit for deportment lessons. I do not know all the details but they settled on the deportment lessons. I do know mom sent me to get 'my uniform' apparently I just inherited it, so she could have it clean for me to wear after school tomorrow. At first I thought she said for school itself but I heard it wrong. Thank god there was no way I wanted to go to school again as a girl no way no how.

Sleep that night was not easy as my chest itched fiercely and my flannel pj's were not helping. Out of desperation I changed into the cami again leaving on the pj bottoms which seemed to do the trick. It seemed like I had just fell asleep when my alarm blared telling me it was time to get up for breakfast. I passed dad on the couch on my way to the kitchen to grab a bowl of cereal. Mom and sis were busy upstairs trying to get her ready for school so I poured myself a bowl and sat to eat. Dad stumbled into the kitchen not long after for his morning coffee. Neither one of us was all that awake yet when he sat down.

"Morning Belle."

"Morning dad." I continued to munch away on my cereal for a bit when I realized what he had said. This also coincided with my dad choking on his coffee.

"I thought I would see Bill my son this morning?"

"It was the solvent dad my chest is all sensitive or something this morning." When I looked down I noticed that not only was I wearing a camisole but my nipples and surrounding tissue had expanded overnight. So much so that it really did look like a girls chest. One just starting to bud!

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!"

After a quick phone call to the pharmacist emergency number, I think we got her out of bed, we found out I had a slight reaction to the solvent. My swelling should reduce to normal in a day or so. Till then and maybe a few days afterwards I would be sensitive in that area. I pleaded with mom to let me stay home from school but she said I wasn't sick. After telling me to just wear a camisole, unless I really wanted to wear a bra which I didn't, and nobody should notice. Still she said she would talk to the doctor or make an appointment for me just in case. I love my mom she called me Bill the entire time.

The bad news was that this had made me late for school. I ran upstairs and quickly grabbed a change of underwear from the bags I had left on the floor. I had my feet into my pants when I realized I had put on the panties without thinking. Since I was wearing a matching camisole I hoped nobody would notice. My pants were a bit a trouble to put on before I realized they were Sam's from the other day. Too late to change I put on a tshirt and ran to the bathroom. A quick smooth over with some mouse and hairspray into my 'Bill' hairdo. I just sorta slick it back none of the previous days fluffing and stuff for the Belle look. It was still damp as I ran downstairs with my flannel shirt over my shoulder one shoulder and my bag in the other, I made sure it was mine, out the door I went only to be met with a huge gust of wind that twirled around the front porch area.

With a sigh I knew my hair was a total mess now and would have to wait till we got to school to fix in the mens room. I just made it to the bus ontime to get on when I realized I had slipped my sock covered feet into those ballet flats from the day before. I still don't know where my running shoes are. Still I was Bill and not Belle today. I got on to the bus and one of the girls from the day before waved me to sit beside her.

"Morning Belle oh nice cami! Where did you get it?" I looked down to see that yes you could just make out the camisole through my tshirt. You could also make out that I had the beginnings of breasts too or at least it looked that way. Still my hair should have...

Nope in the mirrored reflection of the bus window Belle's hairstyle stared back at me. Looks like Belle is going to school again today. This is not fair! I pouted all the way to school my flannel shirt forgotten over my shoulder.

I can't believe this ....

So not gonna go there again.

The bus ride was thankfully short like maybe 20 minutes tops. Unfortunately I took the bus ride as Belle. So everybody on the bus saw me going to school as Belle and not Bill which was my intention. Still is if I can make it to the mens room before class. Getting off the bus in a group of girls, many of which like Belle but loathe Bill. One or two are wearing the same skirt from yesterday but with a tighter, and sexier top. Little Bill is trying in vain to come to attention in these too tight, at least in the crotch, jeans. I wish I could reach down and rearranged things but the waist is to darn tight for me to do that.

About my waist it would seem my stint in the corset has left me with a smaller waist. For the most part this wouldn't be a bad thing IF the rest of me was inline but noo my hips and butt look bigger instead. Okay not really that big but in Sam's jeans it does to me.

Anyways as I get off the bus I see mom is not here with Sam yet so I assume they are still getting her ready. No surprise there really, she usually takes 40 minutes to get ready on a good day, so with the two casts, and a few diminishing bruises to cover up I really don't expect her before lunch. The girls all expect me to tell them all about the Harry Potter episode from last night. I really don't want to talk about it as it kinda pisses me off really.

Besides I'm a guy we don't do things like that. None of this chatty chatty thing girls seem to expect. I just move forward as best I can towards the washrooms. The Principal still thinks I'm Belle I think. Not sure if mom got that straightened out yet so I should use the unisex one. This has one problem I didn't forsee. The girls just follow me in there. The washroom has 2 stalls and no urinals. It does have a large two counters. The lower thinner one is for those who use wheelchairs. The taller one is for those who don't. I'm not sure what it says about us kids when there is also a baby change station here. Beside that is the condom/tampon machine, lowered of course. For some reason the image of a teenaged girl changing the diaper on her little baby sucking on a tampon tube enters my head. Wisely I refrain from mentioning this.

Yes I know what they look like! I have a sister and a mother, who for some strange reason seem to go through these things at the same time. Okay so I was curious as to what it was when I was younger. I still have no idea how they get those big things out of themselves. They expand alot, I dropped it in the toilet. Isn't amazing what thoughts go through your head just by looking at something?

So there I was waiting to use the sink, the girls had an amazing amount of makeup across the counter for some reason while others occupied the two stalls, I needed to pee since I hadn't had a chance this morning either, I kinda got sidetracked a bit. I got bored really quickly and leaned over towards the counter for a look see at what all the makeup was for. This turned out to be the wrong move as the makeup was apparently for me to wear!

10 minutes later Belle exited the washroom with mascara, eyeliner, lipstick all done and a different top. Not sure where my flannel went too either. I seem to keep losing stuff its not fair! The top I had on now was more of a sweater, pink fuzzy but not uncomfortable. The puffy looking sleeves I could have done without though. It was also alot tighter which just happened to show off my not quite flat chest and a bit of the lace from my blue satin camisole. I did manage to change my shirt in the stall, it was the only way I could use the stall and I really really needed to go. Stupid toilet seat does not lift up so I had little choice but to plonk myself down and do my duty. Sure I could have peed all over the seat but why bother?

For the first 2 periods the guys kept trying to undress me with their eyes. I so wanted to deck them for it. I figured I was already in trouble for swearing, fighting might just get me in that stupid uniform 5 days a week! Speaking of uniforms I managed to leave it behind this morning. I wonder how they will react to me showing up dressed like a bo....oh wait I'm Belle again sheeeessh. Still I was hoping to at least loose the girly stuff during gym in third period. I know my tshirt is in my backpack. The flannel would have helped but I do not know where that is at the moment.

Gym is like my favorite period. I was anxiously awaiting as today us guys were to play football, not that flag thing real football tacking all that stuff with pads and stuff. Not sure what the girls were supposed to do after its girls who cares! Sitting through second period, at least the last half was...painfully slow. I watched the second hand on the clock for the last five minutes. Once the bell rang I was up and out of class in a flash. Books were in my bag and I was off to the gym as fast as these ballet flat shoes would allow.

I walked into gym same as normal and headed to the boys locker room to change into my normal sweatpants and hopefully get rid of this stupid girl look. I remembered the panties and was thinking about changing in a stall when I got stopped by the gym teacher.

"Bill Thorne."

"Sir"

"I'm sorry I suppose it's Belle now isn't it?" Not a good sign. Please no not this again...

"About that you see."

"Belle while I don't pretend to understand what your going through. I have been notified to treat you just like the other girls except I cannot let you change with them."

"Excuse me?"

"I had thought you were looking forward to playing tackle football just like the other boys last week but I guess your a good actress and had me fooled. It's okay though you don't have to pretend here okay?"

"Uhhh okay I guess" I was not sure where this was going. Ms. Brandy our physical..oh forget it gym teacher, we do not know if that is her first or last name there is a pool going on, is a nice lady. She is about 6 feet tall and rather plump so most do not want to bother her. Do not mistake it for fat as most of it is muscle, not all but most of it. Her name ehh we'll find out eventually. It could be a last name. Some parents are cruel. We have Bob Mellow whose older sister is Marsha. Then there is Theron Meynard Hailey. We call him Stick, he prefers it too. I hear he has a form for legal name change filled out.

Speaking of names one of the girls was teasing me the other day asking where the midget was. I had no clue to what she meant and told her so. She gave me a piece of paper with some name like Lois Master something on it. She also said that if I go to a dance with a short guy by the name of Miles she would lose it. I wonder if she means Brent Miles? He is like 5'2" while I'm 5'4"? I still don't get it. I do know mom and dad could have named us Rose and Ben.

"Belle are you listening to me?"do I really have to answer that?

"Sorry I was oh nevermind you were saying?"

"I said you can't use the boys locker room to change. So to change in my office shower instead. Here you can change into these that some students left here don't worry I washed them as we cannot go get your stuff from the men's locker room right now."The bundle she had given me was not very big. I took them into the small shower stall with its own door and closed it. The sealed floresence light was on as well as a small fan. It was not too small so changing wasn't that tough. Standing in just my blue panties and camisole I looked at what she had given me. There was a pair of satiny shorts in red, a pair of white tights, and white sweater. Much like what the girls wore for volleyball the shirt even had the school logo of a cat of some type. I longed for my normal track pants and thought about putting on my tshirt when I realized I left my bag outside in her office. Sighing I put on the tights and shorts. Then the sweater. The small but very feminine in white but with pink edging running shoes fit alright. It was better than the old ones I had lost. I wondered if I could buy them and then dye off the pink?

"Well well well. I'm surprised at how cute you look Belle. Are you sure you were ever male? Cause that is no male crotch I see down there." Ms. Brandy was actually staring right there. With the panties and its special gusset designed to keep a guy flat, the tights helping to keep it all in and smooth out any other bumps the shorts, which were also a bit tight, all made to give me a very smooth front. I just hung my head in defeat, why do I even bother anymore.

"I'm a boy." I muttered close to tears. I was about to get depressed even more when the one teacher who almost always yelled at me before to go faster. Knelt down and hugged me. I really needed that hug and returned it. It helped it really did. I dunno why but it did. Maybe being Belle did have some good points, I'm still a guy and will be one again tomorrow even if I have to shave off my head, but for today maybe I'll just try to enjoy it. After all how different can it really be? Or I should run screaming from school and seek asylum in a small white padded room.

Walking out of her office I started to head over to the doors leading outside where the football coach was working with the guys when I got pulled back by some of the girls coming out of the change room. Nuuuuu! Let me go please I don't wanna be a girl! I should have said that last bit out loud. Will it make a difference? Looking at these girls and their smiling faces. There pert breasts bouncing infront of me, their cute asses in the tiny shorts... Uh what was I thinking about? Sure I'll follow you...hope I'm not drooling!

As I walk up to the group of girls one of them is showing off her lovely assets in a white lace bra to another girl. Football... doesn't seem the least bit interesting to me at all anymore. The other girl sees me walking up and grabs the other girls shirt and pulls it down.

"Hey why did you do that?"

"Suzie it's him."

"Huh what? Oh her she is growing her own why would she care?"

With that Suzie let go of Diane's tshirt. Not that it mattered anymore. I was not growing boobs I just had a reaction to some glue solvent! I'm gonna go back to football.

"Girls in today's class I am required by the school board to instruct you on ..I can't believe I have to do this since most of you know it already. But proper feminine hygiene." Okay so maybe football is a waste of time after all. Strangely as Ms. Brandy's words are finished all the girl's eyes turn to me.

"What?"

I can't...I really have got to get a better line I can't believe I keep saying that. I just did it again didn't I?

My name is Bill Thorne NOT Belle. Yet here I am walking down the school hallways looking for all the world like one of the girls from the volleyball team. White tights in running shoes that have pink here and there. Red shorts that show not a single bulge. A tight school sweater with the demented cat on it, white, that shows me having puffy chest around where a girls breasts would be. Okay lets be honest it looks like I'm growing my own.

In my hands I have the stack of papers where all the girls signed that they took the sex ed feminine hygiene thing in gym class. I was of two opinions of that. One I was sent out with the forms because I'm male, at least someone sees that. But on the other hand my mind is playing pictures of scantily clad girls showing off all their privates too me. At least I hope they would.

Still tackle football would have been more fun than walking down a hall dressed like this. I keep getting eyed by boys all over the place. Heck even those same jerks who last week were teasing me about being a dweeb and learn to use a razor are eyeing me. It makes me feel like ants are crawling all over my skin. I would love to say the walk to the school office from the gym was mercifully short. It wasn't.

Probably took me the better part of 15 minutes to walk across the school to the office all decked out as a girl. I hated every second of it. So much so that as I approached the office I got goosed. A girl would have spun around and slapped the offender at worst. I'm a guy so I made a fist to hell with the papers and spun around with a haymaker ready to pound in the offender. My fist was caught by none other than Jason. Yes that guy from the drama class. The guy who kissed me on stage infront of everybody.

"That's no way for a lady to act Belle." My momentum of a moment ago was stopped.

"I'm no lady!" I'm not even a girl so what does it matter what punch I throw at another guy. He pulled me close so that our faces were not that far apart the only thing separating us was my other arm holding the papers to my chest.

"Maybe not yet but I'd be happy to break you of your tomboy habits and become the lady you are meant to be if you would honor me with a date." His eyes are ... uhhhhhh.... think!...

"Are you out of your fucking mind!"The nerve of this jerk! First he kisses me infront of everybody on stage then he gooses me and now he wants me to d...dd....ddd I cant say it.

"You make me that way Belle."

"Jason, Belle 2 feet apart at all times on school property. Mr. Glason do you need time in detention to think of your actions? Ms. Thorne I believe you have some papers to deliver?" Our principal Mr Haward, not Howard, Haward had come to my rescue like I was some helpless girl. I was embarrassed since this drew attention to me. Jason let me go and stepped back. My fist fell to my side but didn't release yet.

"Tomorrow night 7. Movie okay?" The nerve of this guy! I just stood there with an open mouth as he walked away. It took me a bit to get my head together as I prepared to yell at him that it was not okay. I never wanted to see him again and to stay away from me! I took a deep breath ready to yell when I got spooked by a hand on my shoulder. I actually jumped a little from it. I did not squeal, boys do not squeal!

"Sorry Belle, but I believe those papers are for me."Mr. Haward said while leaning down, okay I'm short so what,his face not really all that far from me which caused me to step back a step as he was in my personal space.

"Yeah.. Here these are from the gym teacher Ms. Brandy." Why is he looking at me with that stupid grin?

"Belle it's amazing how in just a few days you have become quite the girl. But I think you should slow it down a touch with the boys you might get hurt."

What the? I'm not a girl or a trans girl! This is all just a big mistake. I tried to come to school as Bill! All those things went through my mind and as I was about to reply he interrupted me.

"Anyways young lady I believe that that is your mother and sister out front maybe you should go help your sister like a good girl." It was not really a request more of a better do it suggestion. Of course as a guy I could tell him to go f... well you get the idea. But I did need to help mom with sis I already knew that. Free of the papers I walked out the front door and was well on my way to the car when a wolf whistle reminded me of how I was dressed. I just hung my head down and continued on through the stares my sister and mom were pinning me with.

"Just don't ask! I'm having a really bad day!"I stated before mom even opened her mouth. Samantha was just giggling. I'll get her later somehow.

"I....See. And here I thought I was meeting my son Bill at school today... Uhmm Belle is there something you want to tell me and your father? Maybe that t.v. reporter was not so far..."

"MOM it's not like that! I'll tell you when I get home!" Mom and I wrestled a bit getting Sam out of the car and into the wheelchair. She was in a long skirt that covered most of her leg cast and a sweater. No I don't know or care about the colors. Her remaining bruises were nicely hidden though. We had just got her settled and mom was adjusting her skirt to drape just so, its a girl thing I didn't see a problem, when three of Sam's girlfriends walked up. One of them sorta ticked a warning in my mind but couldn't figure out why.

"Sammie!" Squeals hurting eardrums followed. The three girls descended on mass to my sister with hugs while mom and I stood by. Sam smiled back at them and it was soon a rapid speak fest. I've been around the rapid girl speak before, while I do not really understand it I am used to it, more or less. I was grabbing the handle thingys that Sam uses for the short term to get in and out of the car for mom when ...

"So Belle what are you gonna wear on your date with Jason tomorrow night? Do you need to go shopping for the best outfit?"

"Of course she does numwit she probably doesn't have all that much for clothes yet she has only been out for a week."

"Oh good point but Den is right we should take her shopping for the right outfit and retail therapy is just what Sam needs as well. Imagine helping her little sister pick the right outfit to go out him!"

"How did you get so lucky Belle? We have been trying for ages to get him to notice us and you come along and steal his heart."

Blink Blink Please tell me that did not just happen infront of mom! I turned to mom to see if she had heard that. From the pure white look of her face I would say that this is a yes.

"I...I...I think I'll be going now. It would seem I will have to get Dave to look at some new paint for Belle's room after all. Oh here Belle don't forget your uniform you will need it for your deportment class after school." With that mom calmy gets into her car and tries to restart the already running engine. I think she is in a little bit of shock. Then again she is not the only one.

So there I stand a girls school uniform in one hand while I'm wearing makeup, a schoolgirls volleyball outfit. I have 3 girls all trying to get me to go shopping with them for an outfit I don't need for a date I never even agreed to. My sister is in her wheelchair and her eyes are the size of goose eggs one minute and narrowing to slits the next as she looks at me. Am I dead meat with my sister somehow? You bet! Mom is driving away thinking that her son is now really her daughter and she is talking about paint?

I wanna go back to being invisible as Bill!

I ...I....I really got to think up a new thing. I can't believe I keep.. This is so not fair somehow.

So there I am. Standing outside of the school with girls school uniform draped over one shoulder while my mom drives away thinking.. Actually I really don't know what she is thinking. I mean paint? I like my white walls thank you very much!

With a sign I start walking back towards the school leaving my sister and her entourage to do whatever they normally do. The walk back in seems much shorter than it was going out to the car. I'm inside the school and walking to my locker before I know it. The class bell goes as I'm walking letting all the kids in school see me 1) wearing a girls volleyball outfit and 2) carrying a girls school uniform over my shoulder. If any of them believed I was still Bill its probably all shot to hell now. This is just so depressing.

I arrive at my locker and after a few cuss words, spoken under my breath, a small hit and bang and my locker comes open. I really don't know why this locker works that way but it always has. Worse yet I seem to get assigned stuff like this alot. Heck even my gym locker for my guy stuff is the same way. At least its a full locker where we can store winter coats, boots and stuff like that. Still it does have vent holes so things get slipped in from time to time. There is a shelf just under the holes so most of it gets caught there.

Instead of the usual junk, condoms, nasty letters, or some persons idea of a joke is a stack of letters...in pink! That is definitely a new one on me. I store my uniform in the locker and start to look at the envelopes. There is an invite to a sleepover at some girls house, an invite to a girls only birthday party, two really bad love letters. I mean really guys some of this poetry is in our English class at least copy it correctly!

Two are from Jason, one asking me out the second telling me to wear something nice like a dress for our date. One is from some unnamed person telling me how they are just like me but to afraid to come out of the closet. I have an invite to a lgbt meeting as well. What is with people! I toss them all into the nearest garbage and walk back to the gym which should be just about finished so I can get changed back into my clothes. I'm so looking forward to wearing the jeans and tshirt, screw the stupid sweater!

I walked into the gym and go to the office to get changed but find it locked with a note.

Dear Belle:

I had to bring one of the girls to the hospital. Do not worry about the clothes you can keep them I should be back before lunch is over.

Ms. Brandy

I read the note twice before I feel tears threatening to come out of my eyes. This is just not fair what am I suppose to wear! Of course my useless brain informs me that I have a perfectly clean uniform in my locker to wear. I just can't seem to get a break today. It's like fate hates me or something! With a sigh I head back to my locker and retrieve the uniform before heading to the closest unisex bathroom. 5 minutes later I leave the washroom still wearing the tights and sneakers but have the blouse ,skirt , and sweater on. I don't like it but I just tell myself it will have to do till Ms. Brandy gets back.

I'm a hungry boy, even if I look like a girl right now, and I need food! The saying the best way to a man's heart is through his stomach holds a fair amount of truth to it. Mom says I get moody when I'm hungry so even though I never really eat that much in one sitting I do eat regularly. I also didn't grab a lunch this morning as I was in a bit of a rush.

Our school has a cafeteria of a sort. It's really called the canteen where a student can go to pick up something to eat from the assortment of vacuum sealed burgers that are more tofu than beef, Lays or Old dutch chips loaded with salt, non diet generic brand cola, or vacuum sealed balony with cheese submarine sandwiches. Sometimes there is baked goods or hotdogs. There is a microwave, industrial, that heats anything up to boiling hot in less than a minute.

Its not much as the school encourages a student to bring a lunch, preferably healthy or they can spend 8 minutes of their lunch walking to the local yellow arches to buy something. Today there is something new at the canteen. Under a heat lamp there sits a deluxe pizza. 2 bucks for a slice and its not vegetarian but considering my other options that would come with me. I reach for my pocket to put out my spare cash, I keep some twoonies in there for emergency's when I realize that the stupid skirt I'm wearing doesn't have pockets and that my jeans are in the gym office with my change.

"My treat!" says a voice as a hand passes a $10 infront of my eyes to the cashier. The lady loads up the 5 pieces of pizza onto a single white paper plate and hands them over to the arm. The arm in question turns out to belong to a grinning Jason. Can't this guy leave me the fuck alone! I turn to face him to tell him just that.

"Did I tell you how cute you look in that uniform it really suits you Belle." He says before I can even open my mouth. With that he walks away to a table with my pizza leaving me no choice but to follow. Along with every female eye in the room. The lunch room is a fair size to accommodate all the kids in the school. Nothing super special about it just a tile floor, grey, with bland walls, beige surrounding it. There is tables and plastic orange chairs for the tables for us to eat at.

I follow him to a table that has only 2 chairs around it and sit down facing him across the table. I try not to squirm to much in the chair as I pick up a slice of pizza and eat it. I don't have pizza as much as I would like. Mom and dad have this thing about meat even something as plain as peperoni so this is a huge treat for me. Sitting across from this this okay well he isn't that bad I guess because he did pay for the pizza but still I don't like him. Worse he doesn't eat he stares at me which makes it really hard to eat. With a sigh I put down my slice of pizza.

"Can you stop that please."

"You look so cute when your eating do you know that Belle" eye rolling follows his statement.

"See it's stuff like that. Look Jason you might be a nice guy and I'm sure that lots of girls here want to go out with you..."

"But none of them are as beautiful and as feminine as you Belle." Is he for real?

"Look can you quit with the .. what I'm trying to say is it's wasted on me. I'm not some girl you can pick up because I'm flavor of the week. I'm not really a girl you know." there I said it.

"I know. Your a girl trapped with a male defect. It's alright I understand that it's not something you wanted this is just who you really are. I have a cousin just like you and she is just as much a born woman as any, just like you Belle. You really are born to be a woman." he says with with a smirk kind of smile on his face.

Normally I enjoy pizza and would be stuffing my face silly but today this pizza taste like cardboard. Well not really it's pretty good actually its just that I feels like I'm eating cardboard with him staring at me the whole time. I turn myself to the side to have somewhere else to look while eating, which may not have been the best idea as Jason is not the only guy staring at me. It would seem half the boys are too. Oh yeah the uniform. Well shit. I try to give them the "what" look while eating pizza. It doesn't seem to go over well as they just turn away with smiles, even the girls are looking at me in this weird way.

"Look everyone," I'm actually standing now" I'm not a girl! Get it my name is Bill! I do NOT want to be a girl period end of story so stop treating me like I am one!" I'm screaming at the end. Enough is enough! I turn back to Jason who is still smiling at me.

"Thanks for the pizza I'll pay you back later." With that I walk from the lunch room. I waited for maybe 20 minutes before Ms. Brandy showed up and I changed back into my regular clothes. After a hasty washing of my face and a bit of hand work, no brush or comb, my hair resumed it's normal boyish look.

The rest of the day people were quiet around me and didn't say much. Of course I was quite pissed off the whole time since the teachers still called me Belle from time to time. At the end of the day I got changed into the uniform again for my deportment class and was ready to walk over to the girls school for it when the school guidance counselor stopped me.

"Belle a minute if you don't mind." more of a stop now command than a question really.

"I understand you had a bit of a problem during lunch?" figures.

"Look Ms. Hendel no offense but it's been a long day and I have to get to a deportment class for my punishment."

"I see... Well Belle I know you need to talk to someone. I'm reading about people like you" guys stuck in dresses against their will?" and I think I might be able to understand some of it. But please Belle don't try to go into hiding again just because of a bad day okay. Can you promise me you will think about this and see me tomorrow?"

"Ms. Hendel I'm not what you think. I'm a guy not a girl, not a trans girl, not even a pretend girl. Guy Gee you why get it?"

"If your such a guy Belle why have you talked and acted like a girl all week then?" with that Ms Hendel leaves me standing there as she walks away.

I reserve the right to make changes to this as I'm not satisfied with the chapter the flow feels wrong somehow.

I can't believe this she...

"But I... That's not the way... It just happens! I'm not doing it on purpose!"

The walk to St. Mary's wasn't all that long but the skirt flipped up, or tried two at least 5 times. I hate skirts. Still it gave me time to think. Was I really acting like a girl? No not really I was my normal self, shocked silly half the time into situations that make fiction look tame. It wasn't like I was trying to be a girl, still it does explain why people assume I'm a trans girl right away even though I'm not. Gonna have to work on that tomorrow.

As I walked onto the Academy's grounds I was met by the headmistress Ms. Bain. Okay its not really Ms. Bain its like Barnes or something but I think of her as bane as in bane of my existence. She escorted me to the room for Deportment class. I was not alone, it would seem three girls from my school were also there, in the same uniform that isn't quite the uniform. At a guess St. Mary's took offense to the protest.

Now most would think, like me, that a deportment class is all about walking around with a book on your head. How to sip tea with your finger out and so forth. All that "proper young lady" stuff from tv. Well it's not. It's more about how to be a woman and not be a fake man actually. Let me try that again.

In many situations women have a tendency to behave and/or dress like the men around them in order to be accepted as an equal peer. This is more of how to be a step above the men around you, while still being clearly a woman and proud of it. Kinda like how a woman will show up in a power suit of a yellow top and black skirt and be taken as a women in charge vs a secretary. The class is spent showing us various screens, on an impressive overhead display of very good quality probably a samsung with his ress and a gnarly system to back it up as there was no lag, what was I saying again?

Oh yes how the screens showed one women vs another who had same jobs but by their dress you could tell one was more serious than the next. This changed to how a bearing also made a difference and so forth. Sam would get a kick out of this stuff she always slumps her shoulders.

The one thing they did make us do was sit with our knees together and backs straight on the edge of the wooden chair the whole time we sat. That was hard work especially for me. The girls giggled at me a few times when the teacher would come stand next to me until I put my knees together. And here I thought I acted all girly before, apparently not.

By the end of the class my back was aching along with my thighs. I would need a hot soak in the bathtub tonight to be able to move tomorrow. At the end we were to get up and curtsy, yes curtsy, to the teacher and thank her for the class. I just about, I didn't but I seriously thought about it, tell them where to shove the curtsy.

Some of the girls stuck around to chat with me asking me all these questions about being trans. Questions I had no answers to since I wasn't. I answered as best I could even said that the pharmacist was looking for my prescription of birth control pills. Not sure why they wanted to know that or why they offered to give me some pills in the meantime, I refused of course. I did find out the girls from my school had actually been caught wearing skimpy clothes to school which was why the protest got them sent here. Something about making a real lady out of them or something.

I did manage to extricate myself after a bit and get to the front doors. Waiting to pick me up was not mom that I expected but dad. When did he start smoking cigarettes? I got into the car and sat down for the drive home. I forgot my bag with my normal clothes at school so there I sat in the car with my legs closed in a short skirt with my dad smoking.

"When are you gonna stop this shit Bill? Your a guy for christsakes."

"Tell me about it. I keep trying to be a guy and somehow end up being a girl instead. It's not my fault dad."

"Then why are you still wearing that costume!" he was getting mad.

"School is locked and my bag is in there. You want me to go around naked?" I would too if he kept this up.

"No! No. It's just ... Look Belle this is ... I'm not all comfortable with this. Is this like.. uh how do I say this. Do you think your a girl or something?"

"What no! Dad it's not like that its just clothing."I don't know why but I looked over at dad. I wish I hadn't for the first time ever I saw tears in his eyes. Tears I know I had caused somehow. The rest of the ride home was silent.

Once I got home I ran upstairs and got changed out of every piece of female garb possible. I even scuffed up my eyebrows so they didn't look so feminine. Once I had on my regular clothing, yes I wore a hoodie they are comfy and the pocket is nice for holding stuff, I returned downstairs. Supper was subdued, the lasagna was good even if its just store brand with extra cheese. We watched the regular stuff on tv and thankfully I was not mentioned in the news today. I think the guy had the night off, or got fired.

I was waiting for the shoe to drop from my parents and they didn't disappoint. They came into my room, both of them, after I had taken off my shirt to check my chest. It doesn't look like it has gone down if anything its bigger. So right away mom started in on me.

"Belle put on a top or something!" which I did before I even thought about why.
Dad just had big eyes. He didn't say anything he just stood there which was worse than him saying anything.

"Dad! Say something to me!" i shouted at him.

"I I...I'm going to go to the store." and he left! I don't know why but that hurt. I started to cry it was like my own parents wouldn't believe me anymore. Mom just pulled me into her and I cried.

"It's snot fair! Mum I try and try to be a boy but things just keep happening to me and it's like nobody believes me to be a boy. Why can't I be a boy? Why tell me why!"

"Oh honey it may be you try to hard. I don't know but it makes things so hard for us honey. Right now all we seem to see is our daughter Belle with no sign of our son. Even tonight you made an effort to appear boyish but really you looked like a girl trying to be a tomboy. Your father is upset as he doesn't know what to do. He wants you to be the son he has believe he always had. But like me he sees a daughter he didn't know he had. We both know your our son and you have told us that you are not a girl but we don't see it. Nobody seems to see it. Seeing you up on that stage in that gown you were so beautiful. And after you seemed so free and natural. It was like seeing a butterfly released from a cocoon."

"But mom I'm not a girl, I'm not trying to be a girl it just keeps happening. Today the counselor told me I act and talk like a girl. But I don't! I'm a boy and I just wanna go back to being Bill. God must hate me!" mom's sweater was soaking up my tears.

"Oh honey god doesn't hate you. I believe this is a test for you. I believe that what is happening will somehow make you a better person in the future."

"You said person not man. I'm supposed to be a man mommy!" I hadn't called her mommy in years.

"Belle Honey look at me!" It was hard but I sat up from her and looked into her eyes.

"Whatever you are boy, girl, or something else. We will love you! Do you understand?" I nod through my tears.

Now take off your top again and let me see your breasts.

"Mooooom!"I do the pouty kid roll eye thing.

"Well what else do I call them? They looked like a young woman's breasts to me." I hate to admit it even a little but she is right. Reluctantly I remove my hoodie and let her touch them. They are very sensitive and her hands are ice cold. Just feeling her touching them sent something inside me going wow. Yep I moaned.

"That's not right. They don't look swollen like a reaction they look like breasts to me. Even your nipples are bigger than they should be. We will have to let the doctor look at this. This is not right. Stay here I'll be right back." mom padded across the carpet and from the sounds of it went to her sewing/craft/storage room. It doesn't take her long and she returns after a few minutes with her sew tape measure and the Sears catalog. These she puts on my bed and goes to my dresser where from my sock drawer she pulls out one of my new bras.

"But mom I'm not wearing the forms I don't need that!" I want to put on a bra like a hole in my head.

"It's to help me measure something sweetie you can take it off after." she is talking in that light nice voice. It takes me a moment but its the same voice she used with my sister the day she started her first period. It...creeps me out more than a little.

She helps me put on the bra and she puts it on the smallest setting so that it's fairly tight. Then she kinda pulls up my flesh a bit here and there and I almost fill the cups, not full as there is some loose material but more than I bloody well should be able too. Next she takes the tape measure around my chest where the bra band is. Then she does another measurement across the biggest part and looks in the catalog. I do not know what she is doing and out of curiosity look as well. She turns to the back of a catalog and after some flipping comes to a chart by Wonderbra for young ladies. She reads and after a few moments gasps.

"Mom your scaring me what is it?"

"Belle your an A cup."

No no no no this can't be happening to me! Hey I can't believe I didn't say..... awww crap.

Did I freak? You bet who wouldn't. I'm a boy for christ sakes with breasts. Breasts! NO this can't be happening. My breathing was fast. Is this a heart attack? Why can't I see anything? My eyes are open but it's all white.

"Bel..." static all I hear is the thump of my blood in my ears. Wait its sorta grey now with blurs..

SMACK!

I see mom and she she...

"You slapped me!" I hold my hand to the side of my arm where she slapped me hard.

"I'm sorry honey but I didn't know what else to do you were freaking out."

"You slapped me."

"Honey cry, yell do something!"

"YOU SLAPPED ME!" now that was a yell.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU KEEP MAKING ME A GIRL! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT ME TO BE BELLE ALL THE TIME! IS IT! WELL ANSWER ME MOTHER DEAR!" I tried to grab the bra and rip it off. A side note of me is amazed at how strong they are they don't really look it. I eventually take off the damned bra and fling it at mom.

I grab my hoodie and shove it on backwards in my anger and have to bring it up again when my arm brushes across my nipple and it sends signals surging through my body. I finally get the dam thing straight and stomp out of the house. I do not know where I am going but I'll be damned if I'm going to go back into that house and be a girl for mom.

It takes me awhile stomping around and crying, yes crying like a damn girl, before I tire out somewhat and calm down a bit. I make my way to the old park where I used to play as a kid. There is still the old tire swings on the bar. I sit ontop of one and sort of swing and twirl around a few times alternately crying or screaming till I just put my head against the rope and really think of nothing.

I was there for probably half an hour or so before something told me I was not alone. When I opened my eyes I saw not my mother, who I expected, but of all people Kim. She is sitting on the edge of the bar that, at one time years ago, held seesaws. I think kids nowadays use it as a sort of goal post or something.

"Hey Kim."

"Hey. So is it Bill or Belle?" she asks me, but it's a funny ask.

"Does it matter? It seems god or fate is making me be Belle when all I want is to be Bill again. Why do you care anyways?"

"It matters to you."

"Should it?"

"I don't know Bill. I do know that for years I have been playing with makeup and stuff. I have made girls look like guys for halloween. Ive made friends look like zombies. I have even helped a guy dress up as a maid, not a french maid but a real one. One thing I have learned is that coverings aside people under the skin are what they choose to be."

"That makes no sense to me at all."

"Does it? Does it really? Or do you just not want to hear it?"

"I ... when you look at me Kim what do you see?"

"I see a person who is neither a boy or a girl. I see someone who is in alot of pain. But mostly what I see is a person who believes so much in what a covering is that they do not even see themselves underneath." she lets me think on that in silence for a few minutes.

I can sorta see what she is saying I have been so caught up in what other people think or think they see of me this week that I haven't really looked at myself. When I look in the mirror I see myself. Not myself as Belle. Or myself as Bill with makeup on or off. I just see me. The same me I have seen for years. Does it really matter all that much what people think of me? No not really the important thing is if I see me.

Surprisingly this gives me a focus of a sort and I realize I'm neither angry or sad anymore. I turned around to thank Kim when I noticed that she was gone. When I look around I see no sign of her. I get off the swing and go look at the seesaw bar. There is loose sand around it that would leave footprints if someone had been right where she was sitting not 2 minutes ago. The ground is strangely undisturbed.

All the way home after that I couldn't shake the feeling that something weird had happened but in a good way. My sister was on the couch when I got home and she was not in the best of moods. From the moment I got into the house I felt her eyes boring into me. She didn't say anything to me at all that night and when I went to my bedroom I saw the bra I had thrown at my mother on the ground. I picked it up to examine it. While stretched in a few places it didn't really look all that bad. I know next to nothing about women lingerie and for some reason I had to find out if I could do anything to save this poor bra. I spent some time online reading about it. Actually I fell asleep at my computer reading about it clutching that bra.

I woke the next morning in my bed in the same nightshirt of my sisters that I wore Monday. I felt surprisingly good. I took my time that morning in the shower washing myself and my hair. I got out and looked at my options for my breasts. I decided against the girly lingerie and eventually settled on an old small tshirt. It was a winter tshirt so a bit thicker than a summer one but just thick enough for what I needed it for. I didn't fuss over my clothing. I didn't even fuss over how my hair looked I just did what I had always done before and combed it back while wet and left it to dry.

As I entered the kitchen for breakfast before school I found dad sitting there. Mom was strangely absent. I poured my usual Shreddies breakfast and sat to eat.

"Your mom was crying alot last night." oh one of those mornings.

"Bill I'm not gonna tell you what you should do. However a real man would admit to his mistake and apologize for it." sighing I put aside my spoon.

"I know dad. I went a little ballistic and took it out on her. Is she still asleep?" I didn't think so but one can hope.

"No she left early for work. She has taken alot of time off to help you lately. Time it seems you never even once thanked her for." Okay now I feel less than human thanks dad.

"Do you know if she made that doctor's appointment?"

"No but it being Friday I doubt she would be able to get you in until Monday or Tuesday at the earliest."he said while sipping his coffee.

"You should go help Sam get ready. I'll drive you both to school this morning." and that was dad's father son talk. It's never alot but there is meaning in the unsaid words.

I went to my sister's door and knocked on it before entering. She was at her vanity table already dressed in another long skirt and sweater, not quite matching, but otherwise nice looking. I watched her brush her long hair repeatedly for a few minutes thinking about what I should say. She however beat me to the punch.

"You hurt mom last night."

"I know."

"Dad talk to you Bill?"

"Yeah."

"And?"

"I fucked up. It's just that the whole...Belle thing and the breasts it was too much. And...I think I took it out on mom." brush brush brush.

"She still loves you you know."

"I don't deserve it."

"No you don't. But she still put you to bed even after all you did to her."

"Oh"

"Yeah oh."

"Uhmmm. Do you need me to do anything?" I asked her. Surprisingly she allowed me to help her finish getting ready. I got a lesson that morning on how to apply makeup, or more specifically how to hide stuff with makeup. She wouldn't let me near her eyes and my hands got covered with foundation and powder but at least her face looked all one color and the yellowish bruises were covered up. She did teach me how to apply mascara to my own eyes along with eye shadow.

It was a closeness of a sort when dad came to her room and found us giggling at how stupid I made my eyes look. I used her makeup remover to clean my face before I washed it in the bathroom sink. As silly as it was the ice that morning was broken and we got along. Not as brother and sister but more as big sister to little sister I guess. She smiled as I pushed her wheelchair around to the car.

One thing she didn't tell me nor did I notice was that mascara leaves a dark stain behind on the actual lashes. So my normally lightly colored lashes were darker than usual. Not alot actually you would have to look closely to even notice it at all. The subtly of it was enough to change the way my eyes looked just that tiniest little bit that make my face look just an itty bit more feminine.

School seemed to have returned to normal for me. I still had to use the unisex washroom as the guys made it clear mens rooms were off limits to me. Still people were calling me Bill. Sorta anyways, it was more like 'uh yeah uh Be...ill'. It was a far cry better than Belle that's for sure. I wasn't really obsessing over it, I just noticed it.

All seemed well till lunch time came around and I had gone to the lunchroom to eat. Or I was going to anyways, when the posse of girls that had ambushed me yesterday morning with makeup were waiting for me as I exited the stall. I tried to ignore them and just wash up but as you would guess they had other ideas.

"Belle stop this nonsense."

"Excuse me?" what nonsense?

"Look Belle your an attractive girl,more than any boy has any right being, which just proves your really a girl...with a bit of a plumbing problem."

"Hello Bill not Belle!" like give me a break with this crap.

"Look Belle, who is NOT Bill, it's okay to feel scared. Jason was pushing your limits and we understand that. Still it's no reason to run to the closet because your scared."closet? What closet? What is she talking about?

I tried to just ignore them and continued to wash my hands. A few of the girls said pretty much the same thing before leaving. They think that me being Bill is a costume and me being Belle is the real me. How? Why? What is it that people see in me that screams Belle. I stopped washing my hands and looked at myself in the mirror for a long time after they left.

All I see is me.

No not gonna say it... I .... I ... can't....be..beee...believe I can't stop saying that!

Sitting there on the edge of the counter, the lower one, is a gym back. A pink gym bag. A bad sign if I ever saw one. I know I should leave it alone and not touch it but there is a paper and well curiosity...

Dear Belle

We kinda figured you may try to hide after your outburst yesterday. Inside is a change of proper clothing, makeup, and jewerly for you to wear.

Barb

So that's her name. I should have not opened the bag but again curiosity got the better of me. It was worse than I thought it would be. There was an acid wash denim skirt, the flared kind that changes at the hips. A light blue camisole,panty,stuffed bra set. And a white blouse with puffy short sleeves. A denim purse with makeup in it as well as some wrist bangles. I immediately stuffed it back in and was partway to the door when I stopped.

I went back to the counter and put down the bag and looked at myself again. Was I Belle? Or was I Bill? Some part of me was curious to see how I would look in the outfit. I know really bad idea. I hesitated for awhile going back and forth between the counter and the door.

I'm really no good with makeup of any type I thought about it but just the clothes was more than enough. A part of me was reveling in the feel of the lingerie. I knew it was bad but I couldn't help myself. The tshirt I wore this morning to cover my brrr...breasts wasn't working out at all. The lingerie was like heaven against my sore and sensitive nipples. I stepped out of the stall in the outfit I really didn't want to wear but I needed to see what I looked like. I stepped up to the mirror expecting to see myself Bill wearing girls clothes. What I saw was unquestionably Belle. The skirt was a little tight in the waist. Somehow this made me look like I had very girlish curves.

I almost ran back to the stall where my normal clothes where and quickly changed out of the skirt. My pants fit fairly well if a bit loose at the waste. No it wasn't a pair of my super baggy jeans that fall down all the time. It was a pair of my newer jeans. They fit past my hips and thighs alright, left me room the crotch for junior, but the waist was loose. With my yfronts they would sorta grab and hold for a bit. The panties on the other hand are made to slide by and the pants were always falling down. I was so preoccupied with my pants as I walked out of the stall that I didn't notice Barb and the gang were there watching me till I heard a giggle.

"The skirt would have been better Belle." It was then I realized I had not yet taken off the cami and blouse.

"It's not what you think. I was just curious to see what I looked like is all I'll put it back." I turned to walk back and change when I felt a hand on my arm.

"Belle why are you fighting this so much?" Barb said it in a soft voice loaded with concern. I turned to face these girls who less than 2 weeks ago would not have given me the time of day.

"Look girls I know you mean well and all. But this is not who I see myself as."

"Soooo... you see yourself as Bill then?"it was a good question.

"Actually that's part of the problem. I'm not sure that I'm Bill either anymore." I could tell by their silence they didn't get it. I don't blame them.

"This is something I need to find out on my own I guess. Sorry." With that I went back to the stall and removed the blouse and camisole. I was very tempted to remove the bra as it was wrong for a guy to wear one. If it wasn't for the sensitive nipples I would have not had hesitated. Then again I should know better and have locked the damn stall door too.

"Belle?" It was at that point my hand slipped on the sink edge and I woke up. I was still infront of the bathroom mirror where I was staring at myself till I sort of fell asleep. I looked for the bag of girls clothing and it wasn't there. I breathed a huge sigh of relief. I ran the tap on the sink for some warm water and splashed my face to help wake me up a little.

Lunch was as subdued as the rest of the morning had been. Even Barb and her posse seemed to stay away from me as I ate my peanut butter and jam sandwich in peace. The dream I had in the washroom did make me distracted and I didn't notice a certain someone come to my table. I looked up into the face of Jason sitting on the other side of the table.

"Belle I..." I held up my hand as soon as he started.

"Save it for the girls in the school Jason. And the name's Bill." with that I got up and tossed the remains of my sandwich into the garbage. It would have been a perfect moment if some jerk hadn't ruined it.

"Jason zero Belle 2" which got half the lunchroom either giggling or laughing.

My afternoon classes passed fairly quickly except math where it was a chore to stay awake. Our teacher Mr. Newcastle teaches in a monotone. It's the one class I prefer to get quizzes in or homework.

My last class of the day, and the week, was home economics. It was the one class mom insisted I take. Her idea at the time was to learn how to cook for myself when I became a successful scientist or lawyer. Yeah she has these big dreams for me.

Still I was happy that I had managed to remain Belle free for one day. Being called Belle doesn't count as I got called that all day by teachers anyways. We had all settled down into our seats when our teacher Mrs. Anne came in. Anne is her first name she doesn't like to be called by her last name of Shilt. Ill give you two guesses why.

Now for most of the semester we had been working on stuff like sewing pillows or cooking but today when she came in, yes I'm the only boy, she was pushing a cart. I stood up to help her but she waved me down so I sat. It was a bit of a shock when she pulled out babies and put them on her desk. Four of them with baby bags for each.

The babies were actually baby simulators that had a key you had to insert into them when they cried or pooped or did something that you had to pay attention. I spent most of the class dreading being assigned one of those things for the weekend. Thankfully 4 girls in the class volunteered to take care of them for the weekend. I guess my relief was a bit to noticeable as Mrs. Anne called me to help her with something in the one change stall we had.

Since it wasn't a baby I was thrilled to help. She asked me to remove my shirts, which I did and then she had me hold this latex thing infront of me while she pulled on some straps and junk. She then used some tube thing to put water into the latex thing and did some checks. I was then told to put on this blouse with a pullover jumper thing in blue. I didn't quite understand any of this as the changeroom has no mirror. It wasn't until she had me stand infront of the class that I got the clue.

I was wearing a pregnancy simulator! Oh how embarrassing, and yes I did get openly laughed at in the class. Here I was avoiding trying to avoid Belle and now I'm not only Belle again but pregnant Belle! I kinda listened to what she was talking about as she explained what the simulator would do. I didn't catch all of it as I figured at the end of class I would be able to remove it for some girl to wear. Boy was I wrong.

At the end of class I found out that , just like the girls with the babies, those of us in the pregnancy simulators would be graded in part by how we responded to the simulators. They would record what we did and so forth. After we were done come Monday we would write an essay explaining our experience.

Really it wasn't that bad. During class I got kicked twice by my baby. Not fun. Mrs. Anne did provide for the pregnant girls though. Each of us got, in a bag, 3 stretch maternity dresses and tights to wear. I found out that jeans, even my baggy ones, didn't work well with the belly especially trying to sit down. It was a relief to actually put on the tights and dress as they allowed for far more maneuvering. I didn't think women needed this kind of freedom until this. Gave me some respect for what mom went through with Sam and I. Mom yeah.. Gonna have to say something to her on the ride home as well.

I walked outside or more accurately waddled outside that belly was just too much in the way to be able to walk properly. And of course the stupid baby thing kicked me in the stomach. Worst part was it was a low hit and for some reason made me really want to run to the bathroom. I didn't since mom would be... where is mom?

I was standing outside the front doors where mom should have been picking up Sam and myself but there was no sign of mom's car or Sam for that matter. I just stood there wondering what the heck was going on. It wasn't until I saw my school bus pass by that I realized that unless mom was late I was screwed!

I did see Denise, Sam's friend and waved to her frantically. She came running and laughing as she saw my uh condition.

"Oh Belle! That is so you!"

"Ha ha very funny where is Mom and Sam?"

"Oh! Didn't you know? Your dad came early to bring her to hospital for her leg scan." she said with this worried look on her face. It was then I remembered a vague reference from dad about leaving early for Sam. I thanked Den and started the long waddle home. I passed up a few offers from Jason, he followed me for 2 blocks, to let him drive me in his puny Geo Metro. I was fairly sure I couldn't even fit in sideways without trouble. Besides the dress was not something I wanted him to get a close look at especially with me in it.

I got a number of stares but then again so did Jason. I knew exactly what they were thinking. Preggers girlfriend being followed by boyfriend after a fight. I could almost hear the 'that poor girl' or ' serves them both right'. I kept my head down and waddled along. Even though I was wearing my sneakers my feet were not accustomed to the weight or the waddle for the couple of blocks I walked. Still opening my front door while drenched in sweat was a godsend as my feet were really overheated. I dumped my schoolbag, the bag with the dresses, my shoes all in the front hall and waddled to the couch in the living room.

I was the last one home and had made a fair amount of noise coming in. Not the best way to hide from ones parents.

"Hey sport how was...OH MY GOD! Belle what have you done now!" Dad was a bit on the surprised side as his eyes were really open wide.

"Bill what did you do to your fath.... Belle! How? Why? Your pr...pre... ohhh... " and mom faints! Sam is wheeling or trying to anyway, to get too mom past dad. She is not having a lot of success so I got up and waddled over to help. Dad reached down and put a hand on my fake belly. I don't know why but the thing decided to kick at that point. Dads face went very pale very fast.

The last we saw of dad that night was him walking out the door with one golf shoe on and one rubber boot with the lawnmower keys.

Do I really need to say it? What! FINE! I can't believe this keeps happening to me!

Saturday morning dawned bright and sunny. Ha I wish it was cloudy and cool. Getting up was a necessity as I really needed to go to the bathroom. Waking up to find yourself in a really oversized nightie when your a boy is...well lets say till the fog disappeared I was a little shocked.

Last night when mom woke up Sam explained what happened, amid her laughing, to mom. Mom figured it out soon enough and while giggling a lot helped me by finding some of her old maternity clothes. The stretch pants and large tshirt top were a godsend. At least it gave me some semblance of masculinity anyways. She even got me her old maternity nightie as well.

In some ways I got closer to my mom as she pulled out the photo album and showed us the previously banned pictures of her pregnant with Sammi. It was weird to see a young mom in clothes very much like what I was wearing. She and Sam could easily be sisters they look so similar. What was worse was how much like my aunt, dads side, that I look like. Aunt Peggy is one of those aunts you get presents from but never see. She is somewhere in Europe with her air force husband.

Not a huge deal but this was the first picture of her I had seen that didn't show a woman who was ...overweight. Oh yeah she is fat with a capitol f. The last picture she sent us for christmas she took up most of the picture. The idea that I could one day look like her was there. As mean as it may sound I vowed then and there to stay in shape somehow for the rest of my life. The small fact that at the moment with the belly thing I looked like she did a few years ago didn't help.

Sleep didn't take much and I did have a weird dream with me running with a baby while wearing a denim skirt running from girls armed with very large cosmetic products. The large mascara even glowed like a lightsaber. The baby was demonic as it's head, I never did find out its sex, turned around to face me calling me mommie before I woke up.

After I got up washed, yes I had to shower with the darn thing on not fun at all, and dressed I went to help Sam get ready. It was a Saturday and we were going to the hospital to visit those girls in the ward. We did sort of agree to it. My choice in attire was limited. I was loath to wear a dress. So a pair of Mom's stretch jeans and another tshirt. Sam was sitting at her vanity waiting for me and after a comical time of making my face look like a clown first we got her face done up. I even managed to get the mascara on her without poking her, I only needed to use a Q tip twice.

Mom came in at one point and commented on my "darling face" before she fell off the bed laughing. I took it in good nature and used the remover before we left. As we were driving away mom did comment on how good my eyes looked. Sam spent the rest of the ride apologizing for forgetting about the staining factor of mascara. I pouted, here I was trying to NOT look like Belle, belly aside, and I was in fact making myself look even more like a girl. I just can't win it seems.

One thing I was not expecting was to see dad on the mower cutting grass. We stopped the car and mom made dad get in. Seems he spent the whole night cutting grass boulevards. Mom explained what the belly was and dad relaxed in the front. By the time we got to the hospital he was snoring, loudly, against the side window. We locked up the car leaving a window open. He never even moved. Poor dad.

We went into the hospital proper via the parking tunnel because of Sam's wheelchair. Mom inquired about maybe seeing a doctor when we found out that my doctor was doing a stint in the emergency. His face when he saw me was priceless and worthy of a picture. It took a bit to explain things to him before her broke out in laughter I'm sure they heard in the waiting room. After removing the top of the belly he examined my breasts. Checked a few things and pressed here and there gently with the old."Does this hurt?" it didn't really which was nice.

He had a nurse take vials of blood to do some checking but he believes, as the pharmacist said, that it was a reaction to the solvent or the glue. The nipples were anyways. He said it did not appear that I had any glandular breast tissue just an accumulation of fat. He did prescribe me some cream to help if I got any itching in the area. I was to keep it covered and to avoid use of the forms especially the glue for them if possible.

Mom helped me to reassemble myself, I feel like a barbie doll, and we made our way to the foyer/waiting room. Who do we run into but the jerk from tv. Complete with camera. And it was on! I wanted to tear him a new one but Sam and mom kept a tight grip on me and I just sneered at him the entire time. Mom did have a few terse words with him. I don't think he believed that I was not a trans girl at all. I mean here I was standing with mascara stained eyes, in maternity clothing with a pregnancy simulator on. Mom did mention something about possible harassment charges or slender or something.

When I think back on it as mom was talking with him I don't remember his face once showing anything but amusement. I suspect him of doing something to me later but I have no idea what. As we approached the ward we heard a piano playing and I assumed the kids were getting some music played to them. The tune was familiar but I couldn't place it. The jerk followed us the whole time with that camera of his.

As we got introduced to the ward, not that I really needed it, we and I do mean we, got cheered on by the kids who were suspiciously all lined up in their chairs off to one side. The electronic keyboard explained the piano and it was played by the same lady that plays at our church too. I just knew that she would gossip about "Belle" to the church before tomorrow was over.

Before I could really start my visit the nurse pushed forward the one little girl with the bad wig who presented me with a card that all the ward had signed. It was touching and brought tears to my mom's eyes, Sam was making a mess out of my mornings work. I got some dust in my eyes. But that wasn't it either. The children had spent the week learning something just to play for me. Darn dust.

They had watched an older film called Sister Act. I remember the film with that actress Whoopi... ermmm Goldburg? They sang as a choir, which was fairly impressive from 8-12 year olds btw, the first part of Oh Maria (Hail oh holy queen) till the lady really goes ape on the piano. Mom and Sam were already singing along so was some of the nurses. I have no idea why or how but at one point I did join in with my wacky mimic voice.

I did a few of the parts that were close to what the movie had. The solos part you know the Mary Roberts and the one that sings to the rafters and the hard nun? Oh just watch the movie I don't remember all their names. It was fun and the children were jumping up and down in there seats. Did I remember about the camera? Nope nor did I see the cameraman leave. The reported that had my life hell for the last week did go hug his daughter. Yep the one in the bad wig. She was happy to see her Daddy and me.

I just about lost it when she claimed to her daddy that she would but just like me when she grew up. The tears standing in his eyes as he assured her that he would be proud of her when she did told me volumes. She never would. I waved mom over and we left to freshen up. What else was I gonna do I mean here was a proud little girl fighting for her very life and making all these plans for something that wouldn't happen. It hurt and I bawled my eyes out in the hall a ways away from the ward. We were joined by her father not long after. The jerk of a hour before was gone, in his place was the father of a little girl he loved very much. Her name was Bethany. He treated us to lunch in the hospital cafeteria, Sammi was apparently reading all the kids a story or something and had Bethany sitting on her lap.

Bethany it would seem had inoperable leukemia. Stage 3 or something. He explained how it started one morning with her unable to walk. They had thought at first she was trying to get out of going to school but quickly realized that was not the case. The doctors didn't find out it was cancer till 2 months had passed. They tried various treatments to cure her. His small career at the station didn't pay much but what he did make was used to try and save his daughter. Her mother, his wife, was not taking it well and had withdrawn or something. He would go visit her after he got through here he said.

Do you have any idea how hard it is not to cry when a grown man, especially a man who is a minor celebrity, breaks down infront of you crying? No well trust me the three of us used a lot of napkins. Amazingly enough I was the only one not wearing makeup. He was using some to hide the dark bags under his eyes. I could see that this was a man who didn't get a lot of sleep. I may be young but even I'm not that stupid.

After he left to go to the men's room or something I asked mom about him. She said she believed he hid himself in his work to try and deal with it. I asked her if it had affected his judgement and she agreed that it probably had. She left me sitting the cafeteria as she needed the ladies room she said. Really I think she needed to go and cry badly. It left me with time to think.

I walked back to the ward to find Sammi all cuddled up with a sleeping Bethany in her lap. The children had signed her casts with crayons. I lifted off Bethany who woke up briefly to tell me she loved me with a very weak hug. I handed her off to a teary nurse and pushed Sammi, who was crying silently, and we got out before I started sniffling. Sammi gave me a hug as I kneeled beside her telling her how hard it was and she agreed. Samantha is a lot stronger than I it would seem. I never expected that from her.

We eventually made it back to the car where we found an awake dad holding a sleeping mom in the back. He told us, quietly, to give them a few minutes. Seems mom had gone to him in the car. While he was in no shape to drive being exhausted he was still our dad. The love in the air was thick. I don't think we have ever been closer.

Samantha and I went for a walk, err well waddle, around the hospital. Not inside but outside. The overcast day gave us spots of warm sunlight but I doubt either of us felt the temperature at all.

"Bill you really don't want to be Belle do you?" she asked me after we walked for a bit.

"No."

"If you had the chance to do everything over and not be Belle would you?" it was a pointed question and it took me a surprising amount of time to answer.

"No"

"If I didn't say it before. Thank you for being my lil sister Belle for me."

"No problem" I wasn't really in the talking mood much. On one hand it was true that while causing me a fair amount of grief the past week it was not all that bad I had learned a lot. I even got closer to my older sister Samantha.

We eventually got back to the car to find mom and dad both cuddled up in the back seat totally asleep. Samantha whispered to me that she had the key to the house in her purse and we pooled our funds together. The cab ride home in a wheelchair van was interesting. If your in a wheelchair its great. The booster seat, as its called, is not all that fun to sit on for the short ride.

Sam did what she could but mostly bossed me around, friendly but still bossy, into making us some sandwiches for supper as we didn't think mom and dad would be home anytime soon. That night there was nothing on the news even though we knew that the cameraman was there.

The baby kicked me out of my sleep twice that night.

I can't believe... They got to be kidding...

"No I'm not going!" he has got to be nuts. There is no way I'm gonna leave the house in...that!

"Belle Anne Thorne. You will do as your father says and get dressed this instant!" Huh? When did I inherit a middle name?

"My name is Bill Thomas Thorne and there is no f**king way I'm gonna wear that any..." I didn't get to finish as dad got that angry look in his eye and started to remove his belt. Oh shit!

Apparently a girl is not supposed to use bad language. Even a temporary puesdo girl such as myself. Yeah I got in serious trouble for that slip. No I didn't get the strap from dad's belt. The threat was more than enough to put me in tears. Come to think of it I don't ever remember him doing more than pulling off his belt. Something not fair about that.

Mom got me into that ..dress. It's a flower and lace thing that older ladys wear, or pregnant ones apparently. Why because we are going to visit my grandma. Granny Smith is like really old 50 I think, and has never, to my knowledge, seen or heard of Belle. I was all prepared to wear the stretch jeans and one of dad's dress shirts but oh no that wasn't good enough. Didn't help that it was also my fault for something bad that I really still don't get how it was my fault in the first place. Don't ask me to explain it cause I really don't get it all.

Yeah I know I look way to convincing as a girl. The dress doesn't help but that was only part of it. I know Grandma. She loves going to church and last week well... Lets just say I want to avoid all old ladies till I look like myself again. Even Samantha is dressed very much like me but she has this black thing on the back of her hair just like mom.

Oh that uhm Grandma is a Mennonite Woman. To her women ONLY wear dresses, dresses they make themselves. Add the black thingy on the back of the hair and absolutly no makeup and you get the idea. The one thing that makes me shudder every time we visit is she never shaves her legs either. As the younger sister My hair is in a plait down the back of my head. It's a Mennonite thing.

Yeah mom was raised as one but she escaped as soon as she was able and wore pants. This got her uhm well not disowned or banished but shunned more like. It was not till Grandpa's death that a peace of a sort was made. It was viewed that as long as she and her family were presentable during a visit her satanic ways were overlooked. Oh we got frowns like you wouldn't believe but people were civil at least.

I got the impression that mom doesn't like this anymore than I do. Actually she was pretty mad all morning even before I threw my little fit. Dad is not comfortable exactly either. I know exactly why too. Those suspenders make ones pants ride up badly. Imagine a permanent wedgie and you would be close.

The whole reason we are going now is because of thanksgiving. It's actually next weekend not this one. However since we live in sin and all that we have to go this weekend. First its an incredibly boring 3 hour sermon in the parish church. Mostly filled with all the sins those who do not follow the ways..etc etc. Is it pointed as us? Most likely. That is followed by the church gathering for another hour and half. The women are separated from the men as soon as one walks into the church. I have never been to the women's side before so this should be a learning experience.

The drive out to the country was uneventful. I fidgeted a fair amount in the back seat since my baby was having a gale old time kicking me. I know its not really a baby but the experience is less than fun. The pantyhose I'm wearing is slowly sliding down my legs as we speak and there is not a darn thing I can do about it either. I hate dresses!

As we arrive and park the car I get a sudden total case of fear. I crouched down as much as possible in the back seat as I really did not want to get out of the car. These people are religious nuts to begin with. Having me enter as a fake woman is just so not gonna go over well.

"Belle come on out."

"No! I'm gonna stay right here! They will kill me if I get out!"

"Suit yourself since they already have seen you and will no doubt come over to wonder why you are sitting in a car all by yourself." dad can be so cruel sometimes. He is right and I know it. Doesn't mean I have to like it. Sub vocally uttering a few choice words I manage to get myself out of the car using the hand holds and grabbing the door.

As I stand up I can feel myself being peeled by everyone around us. A few shake their heads as I shut the car door. It took me two tries since the first time I got the skirt caught in the door. I put my head down to avoid looking around and joined my family walking to the door. I pushed Samantha's wheelchair for her. I may look like a girl but I'm a guy it's just something I do without thinking.

"Stupid girl" is said to me as I'm pushed aside by Jarod, my retarded cousin. I never liked him anyways. Mom catches my hand before I can let fly.

"Belle behave" it's hard but I let him push Samantha into the church ahead of mom and myself. Dad has been pulled aside already. Of course as soon as we enter the church there is Grandma looking daggers at mom. I suppose if you think about it really here is her heathen daughter being followed by her oldest daughter in a wheelchair with casts on her leg and arm and another very pregnant younger daughter.

It takes her at least a full minute to figure out that the youngest granddaughter is really her grandson. I could actually see the emotions play across her face as she realized it. I actually enjoyed this for a few reasons. One women do not speak during church so she can't make a scene even if she wanted to. Second I can see mom and Sam smile as they realize that she can't make a scene at all. The other women look at me with confusion but again can't say anything during church.

I made a few mistakes during the service when I started to speak amen and so forth and got hissed at as soon as my mouth opened. I was so tempted to try to speak with a deep voice like dad. I didn't but I was fairly sure I could make a few of them faint. By Sam's expression and mom's laughing eyes I think they got the same idea. Grandma sat right next to me though and gave me with worst dagger looks the entire service. I just smiled back as I watched her face get redder and redder. I was having a ball.

The service following with all the women going into there own room off the church was interesting. Mostly since I went to the men's side, amid many hisses, before I followed mom. She was trying to keep a straight face. Sam wasn't doing so well as she had her hand over her mouth as grandma pushed her into the room.

The church itself is sparten in decoration. White painted walls. No windows a few crosses and the wooden pews. The back room for men has some leather couches and chairs. The women's on the other hand has like lots and lots of painted scenes, all biblical, of how a woman should behave in reguards to her husband and family. I fully expected to get chewed out by Grandma or the women for my costume. It didn't happen they were all very polite. I was introduced simply as Belle Anne. It's a pregnancy simulator for school.

The simulator got more attention as many of the women had to feel the belly after they found that it kicked. The fact that a boy was wearing it never registered to them. I think Jarod's mom and sister figured it out but they didn't even come close enough to talk to. They never do so no loss. I did explain what the purpose of the simulator was and how it counted for a grade. A few of the women started to talk with me of all things how if feels to really be pregnant. Grandma was conflicted as she joined the conversation when she forgot about who I was until she remember then she would shut up.

Samantha had her own group after it was explained about her idiot boyfriend doing the whole Dukes of Hazzard thing. This was overheard by the parish priest and he favored Samantha with how if she was proper young lady she would never have been in such a position to be hurt. A young couple should be chaperoned at all times. An unwed pregnancy, a nod towards me, would be the result with bastard children. Mom myself and Sam all gave him the look. Grandma actually snickered at that one. The priest carried his Bible around a bit before he blessed the food waiting for the women to nibble on. Then he left to go back to his office. I suspect he went to get drunk but I could be wrong.

After the service was over and we were finally allowed to go back to the car to sit down my feet had swollen. Dad met us and let us into the car where the purses were. I didn't have one but it would have been left in the car as well. Dad told me about the fun he had in the men's side explaining about what happened to his son Bill, namely me. We had a bit of chuckle as he explained it after he was asked more than once who the cute younger daughter was.

Grandma's house was not all that far from the church. It was the same house mom and her brothers grew up in. So it was a fairly large house what I didn't expect was that it seemed every Uncle and Aunt seemed to be there ahead of us. Usually we are lucky if one of them shows up to say hi to us.

Now unlike Amish or Omish people Mennonites are only overly religious. They are not seperated from the world around them. Tv computers etc are quite common. Its just how one acts that is different. I was pretty much ambushed as soon as I walked into the packed house by the girls with questions of how it all happened. My male relatives on the other hand gave me a number of sneers. One of them looked at me with avid interest. This was probably the first time I had seen all my cousins as I didn't even recognize most of them.

The whole story was retold a few times to all the women with me as the centerpiece. Many complimented me on how I well I behaved as a woman in the church and were surprised at my wacky voice. I even did a good imitation of Grandma scolding myself for my shameful behavior. That got most of them including grandma cackling away, much to the confusion of the guys who didn't know it was me.

Thanksgiving supper was also much different than I remember. Instead of the bone dry turkey with acidic gravy we usually had, grandma seemed to have lost her tastebuds but we were always polite, this one actually tasted good. I found out later that one of my Aunts had , accidentally, dropped grans turkey on the ground and offered her turkey instead. I was of course seated with the women at the separate old wooden table. These tables have been in the family for generations. They collapse to small tables and aside from one or two catches are made entirely of wood. They open up with a number of sideboards that can be installed to a really long table. Hmmmm..

In their normal position they are maybe 4-5 feet long. But they extend to about 12 feet each. All with polished lacquered tops that usually gleam. They are really quite impressive. Mom hopes that she will one day inherit one of the two tables. They were built by my great great grandfather back in the early 30's

One of the tables is used to hold Grans ever increasing display of plants and crystal figurines. But today those figurines are in a box in the basement. The meal goes surprising well and I actually enjoy myself. My deportment lesson comes in handy as I display my ladylike charm at the table. Okay not really my elbows got knocked off more than once. But I did sit straight in the chair which grandma noticed.

Grandma does love us grandchildren. She shows affection and gives us presents every year even when mom and her were not talking. After the supper we spent some time in her sitting room looking at pictures of past family members. It was pointed out how Samantha looked like mom and apparently great grandmother as well. While I had some of grandma's features. It took a picture of her when she was young for me to see it. Her eyes and her nose. A quick comparison also showed me I had inherited another feature from the female side with my small feminine hands. Grandma assured me that it was not uncommon in the family for some of the boys to look like I do until they got to age 30. Although, she said, I was probably the first to actually look and act like a girl.

It was the first thanksgiving dinner that I ever remembered enjoying with my extended family. I can't wait to get rid of the fardling baby thing tomorrow. If I ever get a woman pregnant I'll make sure she gets lots and lots of hugs for these annoying ..uggg.

Id like to know how women go to the bathroom with this thing in the way!

"Success! For once I didn't say I can't believe... aww crud!"

Monday started off alright for me. Got up at my usual time showered got dressed in moms stuff again for the last time. Grabbed my bag, after checking to make sure it was my clothes and not something of Sam's not doing that again, and went for breakfast. Mom told me she would go during her lunchbreak to visit Edna to get me some smaller bras. I made her promise to only get me one or two as I wouldn't wear them for very long at all. I still remember how Edna can railroad you.

Since it was a nice day Sam and I decided to walk to school. Or more properly I waddled while pushing her. I did help her with her makeup again. I tried to escape the makeup on myself this morning and did for the most part. Sam used the mascara brush to give me a dot on my face and we giggled again. My lips were dry so I chose her lip balm to prevent chapping. It looked clear but had a strawberry taste to it.

The walk to school was nice even though my feet in there white running shoes with the pink bits were a bit warm when we got there. Surprisingly we made good time and I was actually early for school. Sam wanted to go to her first class where I pushed her and then I went to the home ec room to get rid of junior. Ms Anne was just unlocking the door the the room when I waddled up. I was not the only one wanting to get rid of junior as two of the girls who had also had to wear them were there along with the one girl with the baby, who I might add, didn't look all that well with a punk spiked hairdo on the doll.

Ms Anne frowned at the girl with the doll. We followed her into the classroom where Ms. Anne hooked up a cable to the doll before relieving the girl of it. Next she did the two girls in the simulators with the cable as well. It was just a network cable hooked up to a computer to pull the record of it. Ms Anne told us then that each of the straps on the simulator would record if they were removed at any point. One of the girls went beat red at that. My turn came soon enough and junior was gone. I did tell Ms. Anne about the doctor having me remove the top part for a breast exam. She told me that it was fine as I had also gotten a note saying such from the doctor. It took me a bit to get used to not having junior around and I actually felt flat. I continued to waddle around until Ms. Anne pointed that out to me. The girls giggled at me and I blushed. I held up the pants with one hand and left to use the unisex bathroom to change as the girls were hogging the one changeroom in the home ec room.

In the bag was a pair of my jeans, the better ones, a belt that I think is really Sam's as it is thin but plain. I don't actually own a belt. The red tshirt is a bit old but has no holes and my usual flannel was replaced with a grey hoodie that zips in the front. I didn't mind it at all. What I did mind was the note from mom in the bottom with one of Sam's older bra's. It was a size smaller than I am band wise but being old and stretched a bit fit okay. The slightly padded cups helped to prevent any unwanted irritation of my nipples. I resigned myself to wearing it since it would only be for a few days at most. Looking in the mirror you could tell I was wearing a bra and that I had small breasts. I tried zipping the hoodie then moving it side to side to hide the bra as much as possible. Finally I just left it open as with my bag over my shoulder it distracted enough.

Besides it's not like the kids haven't seen me wear girls stuff before. What I didn't notice at home or in the bathroom mirror was that my hair had not been slicked back, nor did I remember to remove the gold studs from my ears that I wore the day before. The 'beauty mark' if you haven't guessed was totally forgotten about as well. The jiggling from my chest was distracting at first but I soon forgot about it as I made my way through the first couple of classes.

Word of my temporary pregnancy had made rounds at school so inbetween classes I was buttonholed with questions about my experience. The snob girls gave me sneers all day and I didn't have a clue why since I was dressed as a boy. Aside from the belt and bra, oh and the shoes, I was wearing guy stuff not girls stuff. Sorry girls no Belle here today. Not that it helped as everyone called me Belle anyways.

Lunch was largely uneventful as Jason was sitting in a corner by himself and seemed to be pouting. Barb and the girls sat with me though. One was wearing a low cut top that exposed a little bit of cleavage. I think I didn't even taste my sandwich as I inhaled it. I was kinda distracted since the girl was sitting right opposite me. I think her name is Dawn but I'm not sure as most of the conversation was lost to me. Yes I stared at the piece of flesh for the lunch period. I may look like a girl lately but I'm very much a guy who is attracted to girls.

Amazingly enough Dawn, Barb and the gang didn't notice that I was staring at her cleavage. She removed her necklace and had me hold it instead thinking that was what I was looking at. Yeah the dolphin is quite detailed and it is real gold and all but my mind was thinking about how it was dangling over her breasts instead. You don't really need to know more than that.

Barb and the girls followed me to the washroom again, it seems I somehow and don't ask me why, had become a part of her group. They offered me some makeup which I turned down a few times.

"Belle it's not a big deal to wear more makeup than a light pink lipgloss. We know you have been playing with makeup as your eyes gave you away last week. Oh like the beauty mark by the way really makes you look cute." It was then I noticed I had not washed it off.

In the mirror I saw Belle once again. The hoodie had settled over my chest and actually enhanced my breasts instead of taking away for it. The belt pulled my waist in just enough to give me an illusion of curves slightly hidden. The beauty mark changed my face enough that there was little doubt I was a girl and not a boy. I sighed and used the offered lipgloss on my lips as people had already seen me as Belle today anyways. The tiny gold studs I hadn't noticed combined with my loose hair that fell naturally into a feminine look if you did one or two little things with it didn't help either.

To my utter surprise though Dawn noticed that a few whiskers on my face had sprouted up overnight. You could barely see them and I was gonna leave them but the girls had others ideas. My struggles were ignored and the 6 or 7 hairs were plucked via some tweezers. Once again I had a baby smooth face. I wondered if I would ever have my manly hair back. I actually mourned the few now dead hairs left behind on the counter.

When we walked out we got verbally assaulted, okay not really but this one girl did a rapid fire girlspeak to Barb and the gang. I caught one word out of three that it had something to do with Jason. After she left I asked and they told me what had happened to him over the weekend.

After he had left me on Friday when I made it clear I was not going to ride with him he had gone to the local teen hangout to shoot some pool. By the time he returned home his Aunt had already told his parents about his shameful behavior. Apparently he spent most of the weekend being grilled over by his visiting Aunt on his responsibility to honor the girl he got pregnant by offering to marry her or something. I'm sure there is more to the story than just that but that was what the girl had told us.

School being school the word got around fast and my locker had a few handmade wedding decorations on it. Not a big deal as Jason's was far more detailed. Serves him right for trying to pick me up. I grabbed the now laundered clothes from last week for gym along with my own and went to gym class. Again I had to change in the office and she was not thrilled with my gym pants and loose t shirt. It was the same stuff I had worn previously so I didn't see a problem with it.

Jason was waiting outside the office when I walked out. He actually looked depressed when he saw what I was wearing. I thought he was going to apologize to me at first but he walked away instead. I didn't get it but joined the rest for our 12 lap around the gym floor class followed by badminton. The girls told me a few times that I was tripping myself up in the gym pants and that was the reason I was doing so badly. I put up with it for a number of minutes before that competitive spirit in me got me angry enough at losing that I was willing to try something.

I walked back to the office where Ms. Brandy was waiting for me with the shorts, sweater and tights in her hand. The condescending smile on her face didn't improve my mood any. I thought for sure that my y fronts would show through the tight shorts and they did. I searched my bag and found a pair of panties I had worn last week. I actually felt happy to wear them as my juniors two partners had been bouncing around earlier. I resolved to ask mom if there was a guys version of panties available later and finished getting dressed before heading back to the gym.

I did fairly well in the girlie outfit without the pants and shirt tripping me up. What I found strange was that a number of the guys seemed to miss the stupidest shots though. I guess they were already tired from playing. My teammates for gym Sue and Debra did the hug and jump girlie thing with me in the middle everytime we won, which seemed to be fairly often. I actually enjoyed the last part of the class and openly laughed a few times. I had built up quite a sweat during gym class so Ms. Brandy let me use the shower stall in her office to clean myself up. I had not brought any shampoo or conditioner or even soap with me as I usually waited till I got home to shower.

Her soap was scented along with her shampoo and conditioner. It was subtle really not overpowering like some so I didn't really notice how it made me smell just that tiny bit more feminine. I was clean and that was all that concerned me at the time. I hesitated over the y fronts vs the panties. I chose the panties telling myself it was for the support and nothing else.

As I exited I handed the gym outfit back to Ms. Brandy. She gave me a look and handed it back.

"I think you should keep these Belle. Consider it a present from me for your wardrobe. Did you want me to get rid of your old ones?"

I looked at her in confusion I didn't really need the girl's outfit my gym clothes were perfectly fine. Even though I had to admit wearing them seemed to improve my game in badminton it wasn't like we played it that much. Still I took the offered clothes and put them into my bag.

I was still puzzling out why she had asked me if I wanted to get rid of my old clothes though. They didn't have holes in them. My thoughts got interrupted by Sue and Debra thanking me for being myself to play the game. Once again I didn't quite understand the comment about being myself. I was going to ask what they meant when we were leaving the gym but Jason was waiting outside for me and they abandoned me to him.

"Belle can we talk?"

Lil Jaci got up from her Barbie laptop giggling to herself. She was ready to post her latest chapter all it needed was a bit of tweaking here and there. She had already written three chapters of her story on her Barbie Laptop and her small delicate fingers were a bit sore from the typing.

She walked to the kitchen and pulled out a glass for some orange juice. She drank her juice and was reaching for some carrots when she stopped and giggled more before she shut the door on the fridge and went back to her barbie laptop. She opened a new window and it was the work of a moment before she started yet another chapter.

In the hallway outside her room a smiling Dottie had in one hand her barbie and the other her small bag of barbie clothes. She had heard Jaci stop and wanted to see if she would play barbies with her. She had gotten halfway to Jaci's door when she heard the click click click of the keys.

Poor little Dotties face fell and her eyes filled with a few tears. Her hand on the barbie didn't slip as it fell to her side. The small bag with the few barbie clothes and outfits slapped her side and a tiny plastic purple barbie shoe fell out. Dottie all but ran back to her room tossing the barbie stuff on her vanity table and jumped onto her bed.

In the hallway a forgotten tiny shoe was the only witness to hear the silenced sobs from Dottie into her pillow as her sister giggled away while the rapid fire click click of keys was the sounds emanating from her room.

"Previously in Belle of the ball" I can't believe I wrote something so cliche.

"Belle can we talk?"

"There is nothing to talk about." with that I turned and tried to leave him behind. He made a try to grab my arm though.

"Belle..."he started. I snatched my arm away before he could grab a hold of my arm or hoodie.

"No! Jason there is nothing going on. There never was and never will be just leave me alone! And my name is Belle! I mean oh nevermind!" the nerve of him I mean I'm a guy for crying out loud. I left him standing there and walked to Barb and the girls who were waiting for me with these grins all over their faces.

"What?" I was mad.

"Nothing!" they said as a group. Girls! For the rest of the day I did my best to avoid Jason inbetween classes and he was always trying to get me to speak to him. The "Lovers spat" comment didn't improve my mood any.

After the last class of the day I had to go to Sam who had my uniform for deportment class. She giggled as I came up and asked for it. Well more demanded it Denise and the girls didn't help with all the giggling either.

I had just gotten the uniform from Sam's locker when one of her pack mentioned not letting my boy see me in or something. I saw red and turned around fast.

"Jason is NOT my boyfriend! We are not even remotely a couple!" I thundered out before I ran to the closest unisex washroom to get changed. I heard the door open while I was in a stall getting changed into the stupid uniform amid many curses. In my anger I was not having alot of luck with the buttons.

"Bill" called Sam's voice from the other side of the cubical door. I opened the door to allow her in. The stall was a little cramped with her in her wheelchair. She pulled me to her. I don't know how but she calmly fixed the buttons on the blouse with one hand and tucked the blouse into the skirt for me.

"Want to talk about it?" she asked while tugging here and there on the skirt.

"It's nothing."

"It's so not nothing. So spill."

"He just never gives up! I want nothing to do with him and he keeps chasing me around!"

"I kinda figured but that is not how the girls in the school see it."

"What do you mean?" I asked while trying to figure out what she might mean.

"Don't be offended Bill but they see you as Belle well..."

"What?"

"Your playing hard to get." I started to sputter incoherent words as she said that.

"But..I... You..."

"I kinda figured you were not into boys Bill."

"Gods! What am I supposed to do shave my head and walk around with heavy metal band tshirts on and punch everyone in sight!"

"Maybe do you think it would work?" Sam finishes whatever she was doing with the skirt and we leave the cubicle.

"Honestly sis I'm not sure anymore. Every time I try to get away from Belle it's I'm Belle again before I even recognize it. My luck Barb and the gang would view it as another being in the closet thing or something."

"That or..." and she bits her bottom lip.

"What?"

"Well... Don't take this the wrong way but some of the girls have been asking me why my little sister was trying so hard to be a mega tomboy before."

"WHAT! I ... that's not... I had a beard for crying out loud!"

"Yeah about that... they thought it was fake."

"Oh my god! What did you tell them?"

"That you were definitely my little brother."phew thats a relief.

"Thanks."

"They didn't believe me. I'm sorry Bill I tried but they wouldn't believe me."

I put my hand to my forehead as I could feel a headache coming on. This is just not fair.

"So everybody believes I'm a girl that was pretending to be a boy now?"

"No just a few girls from your gym class. What did you wear that they are so sure your a girl anyways?" visions of my flat front because of the tights panties and shorts flash through my mind.

"Oh gods!"

"I take that to mean you know what convinced them then? Care to enlighten me about it?"

I told Sam about the gym outfit and how it flattened my front and then had to help her get back into her chair as she slid partway out of it from laughing so hard. I had to admit when I looked at it as a whole even I found it kinda funny.

"Oh Bill you ...its just... I'm so gonna tell mom about this!"

"Yeah yeah so is your little sister Belle all ready for her deportment class?"

"Well you could use some makeup" I glared at her" but I think you'll do nicely. Here give me your clothes and school bag I'll take them home with me as the school will be closed when you finish. Dad or Mom?"

"Huh?"

"Who do you want me to ask to pick you up Dad or Mom?"

"Oh! Uh mom would be best I think. Dad doesn't seem to be taking this too well." she opens her arms for a hug after I pass her the schoolbag.

"Do I have to?"

"Yes it's a girl thing Belle." with a roll of my eyes I give her the hug.

"See you later champ."

"Yeah later sis." with that I walked out the door leaving Sam behind to encounter Denise and Sam's posse while by the lockers was none other than that pigheaded fool Jason waiting for me. His face lights up as he sees me which doesn't improve my mood at all.

"Belle please can we talk." again he reaches for my arm. Again I pull it away only to have him catch my hand and not let go.

"I don't want to talk to you. Don't you get it yet? Now leave me go I have to get to class." I tried to pull back my hand but he has a really strong grip. I pulled back my other hand into a fist and let swing but once again the bastard caught it. With both hands now trapped he pulled himself forward into my personal space.

"We had this conversation before remember? That is no way for a lady to act."

"Yes and I told you then I'm no lady. Now let me go asshole."

"Not till you listen to me."I struggled but it was no good.

"Fine I'll listen but don't get your hopes up."

"I need your help Belle, with a family matter."

"I'm not your girlfriend, I will not be your girlfriend, nor do I even care a wink about your family. Let me go."

"Please Belle it's my Aunt."

"Fine it's your Aunt and I still care less I have nothing to do with you or her. I listened now let me go."

"Even though it's partly your fault?" that took me by surprise.

"Come again?"

"If I release you will you listen now?" He looked at me directly in the eyes. I don't know why but I stopped struggling and he let me go.

"My Aunt has gotten it stuck in her head that I got you pregnant months ago. The only way I can convince her your not is to bring you to see her. It will just be one meeting of my aunt and then I'll leave you alone."

"Why me why not some real girl"

"She has a picture of you being very convincing in the maternity outfit, which I should ad you looked very pretty in."

"Stop" I held up my hand to his face.

"Let me get this straight. One simple meet greet and goodbye to your aunt and you leave me completely alone? No pretty remarks, no lady shit nothing?" It was tempting but I somehow felt this would not be the end of it and needed time to think and maybe talk to mom and dad about this.

"Oh thank you Belle you have no idea.." he made to hug me. I stepped away.

"Stop! I'll think about it." I could see his smile disappear and his whole body just sagged.

"Uhm Okay I guess. But please Belle I really need this she.."I held up my hand again and he stopped.

"I said I'll think about it. Ask me tomorrow or something."

"Okay" but his smile returned and before I could react he moved around and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"NO KISSING!" I screamed at him and tried to punch him but he dodged and walked down the hall as I stood there seething. I felt dirty and rubbed my cheek to rid me of his germs.

"By the way you look beautiful in your uniform you should wear it more often" he said while when he poked his head around the corner. I took off my running shoe and threw it at him as hard as I could. It missed of course I can't throw worth a beans anyways. This meant I had to walk to pick it up much to the amusement of Denise and the girls. I picked up my shoe and turned to give the girls my best glare. They just laughed even more. I jammed my foot into the shoe and worked my foot into it before I used my hand to get the flap out.

"Nice panties Belle." I stood up so fast I had forgotten about the skirt. I hate skirts.

I tugged on the back of the skirt to hide my panties as I walked out of the school. I then realized that that would only draw more attention to my ass and stopped. That jerk who does he think he is? I guess I stomped all the way to St Mary's, not that it was all that long a walk. But Ms Bain was waiting for me... again.

"Belle a proper young lady does not stomp. Now walk properly and follow me please."

"Yes Ma'am" I sighed. It was gonna be one of those days.

I can't believe how hard this is.

Did you know that women walk by moving their hips side to side while guys walk more by doing the same with their shoulders? I didn't and walking with a book on my head while having some teacher follow me holding my shoulders killed my thigh muscles something fierce. I got it but it took me far longer than anyone else in class. And the book still falls down. It's not anywhere easy as it looks trust me.

My natural walk was moving more of my whole body than just either my shoulders or waist. And to think next week they want us to try this in heels! Yuck! Part of the class was training in how to speak too. Now that I was good at..sort of. I got into a bit of trouble when I mimicked Ms Bain. Half the class was in fits of suppressed giggles. Ms. Bain was NOT amused hence the walking lesson.

I think come hell or highwater, where does that saying come from, she is bound and determined to make a lady out of me by months end. Id rather peel onions than do this stuff. I'm a guy for crying out loud! Still some of it was interesting though. The speaking infront of a crowd that is next week should come in handy. By the time class ended I was sore but according to Ms. Bain I walked less like a scurvy seadog and more like a young woman. I think she watches too much Pirates of the Caribbean.

Was I ever glad to see mom walk in at the end of class. She just stood their watching me make a fool of myself. I kept hoping she was here to rescue me from the evil clutches of deportment class. Ms. Bain and Mom did chat for a bit though while I was walking with the stupid book. When the teacher finally signaled class was at an end and we all curtsied we were allowed to leave.

When I walked up to mom she had this look on her face. It was a look I had never seen before. I'll try to describe it. Her face was tilted just a bit to the side and she had her eyes squinted while her face had a hint of a smile to it. It was like she glowed somehow. When I walked up to her she wrapped me in a hug that was a little tight.

"Belle you make me so proud." She whispered in my ear.

"Okay mom can you let me breath please!"

"Sorry honey. It's just.. Oh nevermind!" and she put one of her hands to the side of my face. She actually had some tears in her eyes. This was starting to get me worried.

"Can we go mom?" I asked while trying to not hop up and down on my feet I really really wanted to get out of the whole Belle outfit. The walk to the car didn't take all that long and I started to get in foot first as usual when mom stopped me.

"Belle a young lady sits first and pulls her feet in with her legs together so as not to show her panties." I really shouldn't have but I grinned from ear to ear and got in just like normal. Mom just shook her head.

"Belle.."

"I'm Bill remember mom." she looked at me and nodded her head. She was a little disappointed when I said that not much but the hint of a smile was gone.

With my legs together and the skirt giving me a minor wedgie we started the drive home. She didn't speak to me until we got to the stop light.

"Bill. I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have but seeing you as Belle in a deportment class with other girls also dressed in the same school uniform was very touching for me. It made me so proud to see my daughter in a school that I could only dream of when I was a young girl."

"But I'm your son, mom, not your daughter."

"I know and that is what makes this so difficult. Still I'm very proud of you for behaving in the class. Please don't mind me but I'd like it if I could take a picture of you with the girls in your deportment class." She had this faraway look on her face again.

"Yeah whatever mom." As if I didn't have enough problems. Speaking of problems I looked at mom and wondered if now was the best time to talk about Jason. Perhaps not. For the rest of the ride home I mentally review possible ways of bring up Jason and what he had asked. I knew I was far and away out of my depth with him and needed the advice.

Without thinking as we parked in the driveway I got out in a reversal of what mom had tried to get me to do the first time. It wasn't until I saw the smile on her face that I realized what I had done without thinking about it. Nor did I notice how I was walking by swinging my hips. After we got inside I kicked off my shoes and ran upstairs as fast as I could. Once in my room off the blouse and skirt came as fast as I could do it. I hadn't worn the sweater that day.

Dressed in a pair of comfy old sweatpants with a few stains here and there from grease or paint and an old one piece hoodie I went downstairs to supper. It was not till I noticed dads look that I looked down and realized that I had sat with my legs together and back straight while on the edge of the chair.

"Sorry" and I changed to my normal open legged slouched position. It felt wrong to do that and I can't explain why. Mom gave me a look as I put my arms on the table though so that I was still not allowed to do. Sam was amused in her wheelchair but said nothing and we had supper. I did on occasion slide to the side of my chair knees together to help Sam cut her tofu and pour some of the gravy onto it. We did our usual Grace and ate in mostly silence before Mom and dad started the usual chat about work. Things had returned to normal and I was happy. I was Bill at the supper table not Belle even though my bra poked out my breasts I was still Bill.

"Mom what did Ms Bain ask you?" I said while eating my tofu steak.

"Who is Ms. Bain oh you mean Ms Barnes. That's not a nice thing to say about her Bill you should be ashamed of yourself." I would have been if dad didn't start choking on his milk as he got the joke. Mom gave him the look.

"Your not helping Dan! Nor you young lady!"I saw that Sam was trying hard to not laugh as she was shaking.

"Sorry hun but what Bill said was kinda cute. Ehemmm so you were saying she asked you.." Trust dad to diffuse mom. I took my knife and tried to cut some more steak for Sam. So I missed any facial expressions mom might have had.

"Well.. she asked if I would give my permission to have Belle attend a charity fundraiser for the children's ward of the hospital on Thursday."

"That doesn't sound to bad it would be a good experience for Bill.." dad started to say.

"As a maid." mom finished. In my shock I knocked over Sams glass of water a bit and it splashed on the table and dripped down on her lap so she hastily used a napkin to soak it up. Dad stopped chewing his steak and swallowed audibly. I don't think he chewed it much.

"But mom I'm a guy."

"Sally Bill is a boy" We said at almost the same time.

"I know I know" mom said " She explained how they could use the help as more parents had accepted than she had anticipated. Your partly to blame for that apparently Bill." I looked guilty at that.

"But he's a boy Sally." dad repeated himself. His fork still had a piece of steak on it but it wasn't moving.

"Yes but I was thinking that maybe he could help out some other way and not as a maid."

"Oh like a butler maybe" Sam chirped up. I liked the idea immediately of being a suave butler that was clearly a guy.

"Yes... that would work he would be able to help. Do you think she will go for it Sally."

"I think so Dan. Hold on I got the form in my purse with her phone number." Mom got up and rummaged in her purse for a piece of paper and took the handheld off the charger before returning to the table. We all waited anxiously as mom dialed and waited for the rings. I took a little before she started.

"Hi Ms Bai...rnes" Mom gave me a dirty look" Its Sally Thorne calling. Hope I didn't catch you at a bad time. Oh yes Belle's mother. Yes Yes fine thank you. Actually we were just talking... Oh I see well we were wondering if it was possible for Bill to be a butler instead. Oh I see. Okay I'll be right here. No it shouldn't be a trouble we were not planing on going anywhere tonight. Thank you. " and she pressed the button to hang up.

"She is going to see if she can get a hold of the costumers who are providing the uniforms for Thursday and see if they have a butler costume as well. She will phone back."

"Very well. About time we started to put our foot down on this Belle nonsense." And that was the end of the matter as far as dad was concerned. I ate the rest of my supper in silence as I was worried that I might have to wear some maid uniform as a girl. We were well into the strawberry shortcake desert mom had gotten earlier when the phone rang. Mom picked it up and was silent for a bit.

"Yes.. I see .. Well yes Bill has breasts but .. Oh yes I can see how that might .. alright would tomorrow be...oh I see I believe we have a fax machine here somewhere ... alright I'll get them to you as soon as we can then. Thanks again. We would love to its for charity after all thank you."

"Well" I asked dad gave me a look I think he wanted to say it first.

"She can get a butlers uniform for you but she needs your measurements tonight as they will have to alter it. The maid's uniforms are mostly for size but the butler requires a bit more to fit she says."

"See Bill all you have to do is put your foot down and be a man." Dad says with a grin. I hope he is right. But... doesn't seem like I have all that much luck lately. Still its for the children's ward.

Taking my measurements was easy really mom used her measuring tape on me to fill out the form that Ms Bain had given her. It took awhile as there was a lot of measurements on the form. After I was done mom made me a bubble bath. I had not had one since I was a kid and for some reason I really enjoyed it. Mom even came in to wash my hair, I didn't need her help and I splashed her playfully. She returned the splash and after a small water fight in the bathroom we were both wet and laughing. All my tension of the day had gone. How do mothers do that anyways they just know what to do. Once I finished washing up, it didn't take me long, I helped her dry the floor.

Mom followed me into my room after she changed into her bathrobe and had me sit on my bed while she played with my hair and a brush. It felt nice and I really relaxed for the first time in days.

"Feel better kiddo?" She asked me.

"Yes mom I do thanks" I gave her a hug before she tucked me into bed in my borrowed sleep shirt. It's not a nightie.

"Your welcome sleep well sweetheart. I'm so proud of you." she said as she flipped off the light and closed my door.

I went to sleep that night with a smile on my face as I thought about how this might help poor Bethany. My dreams were filled with a small running girl with pigtails holding my hand.

For some reason I was in that darn golden dress and couldn't find my pants.

"OUCH! SON OF A ..." I can't believe this..

I wake up Tuesday morning to find I slept on one of my boobs and IT HURTS! It takes a few minutes for the pain to pass and it feels swollen a bit. I hope the doctor finds out what is going on so I can get rid of these. I eventually walk downstairs sort of massaging the stupid thing which earns me a look from mom. I drop my hand and sit down in the nightshirt at the table. Breakfast of cereal and milk. Nothing special same old same old.

It was after when I went upstairs and brushed my teeth that I found mom waiting in my room. She was concerned about me rubbing my breast and wanted to take a look. I told her how I slept on it and I woke up in pain. She had this look on her face but didn't say anything. I pulled out one of my new bras and put it on. There was no room in the cups, no not the bras I got before just some smaller ones from Edna with a bit of padding. I did not grab panties however I have been in those far to much for my liking lately.

Today I was gonna go with a Bill look. Boxer shorts and baggy camouflage pants that were tighter on the hip where the waist band sat. I didn't design them but all us kids were them. I looked through my assortment of tshirts for a white tshirt first and then a much larger Metallica concert one over top. You know grudge skater look. Well almost. I used some mouse and hair gel to get my hair slicked back into a non girly hairstyle. Some shades to hide my lack of eyebrows and I was ready. When I looked in the mirror I didn't see any Belle there body wise as my breasts were mostly hidden. Top of my head definitely Bill. Face...okay not much I can do about that its still a girly face but no makeup today!

I checked over my school bag and emptied it of the clothes from yesterday. These got thrown ontop of my stupid uniform. As funny as it may sound I actually liked that though I know mom would complain about how messy I was at least they are in the basket...mostly.

Downstairs I caught the old man as he was leaving for work. He gave me a once over and aside from how my face looked, he grimaced, the rest passed his inspection. I think he was happy to see me dressed entirely like his son again. He even gave me a "Have a good day son" in way of passing out the door.

Even mom was happish as she saw me dressed as Bill for school. She said she was gonna help Sammi finish getting ready and drive her in. I thought about hitching a ride but decided not to. I wanted the time to think of what I was gonna do about Jason on the way to school.

I paused at the front door schoolbag over my shoulder and looked at it with a small sense of pride. Our front door has a bit of story behind it. It is actually two doors combined together to make this one. The original door where the oval stained look glass is from was busted around the door latch from a break in. The rest of the door is a discount door that had a good sized dent in the middle. One weekend dad and myself spent a fair amount of time cutting out the oval in the new door for the window. After that we had sanded the door down and painted it before gluing the window frame in with some contact cement. The next day we had managed to get the window glued in place with some uncured rubber stuff that set over the week and installed it with its new brass door latch in place of our old peeling one.

It looks really fancy and makes me smile every time I think about it. We have gotten a few compliments on it from a few visitors, mostly dads work buddies, on the door. Yes today was going to be a good day for me. I opened the door to find it had rained early this morning. Shades of cliche's from movies about getting soaked by passing cars ran through my head.

I did manage to think about Jason while watching out for evil cars and muddy puddles all the way to school. I didn't know what I was going to do about him. On one hand it was the perfect opportunity to get rid of him permanently. On the other hand I was scared he would try to turn it into some sort of Belle date. And what was the big deal with his Aunt anyways. Something there was just not right. I think I needed to know more before I really made a decision on the whole mess.

With a grin I thought that at least today there was no way he would see me as Belle. I put a hitch into my stride as I continued my walk to school. It was not completely uneventful as I did manage to soak one shoe a bit with water that was deeper than it looked but otherwise remained clean and dry.

When I got to the school mom was working at getting Sam into her wheelchair so I put my bag on the trunk and helped get her in it. All was well as it could be and Sam and mom thanked me for my help. I started to push Sam towards the school when I remember my bag on the trunk. I turned to see mom pulling away from the curb with my bag on the back and ran after her. I just got the bag handle and pulled it back before I lost my balance and did a minor jig and two step towards the grass. I made it mostly but the grass was still very wet and I hit the ground hard on my ass. The worst part was the small breeze I felt from my crotch.

If you have ever split your pants before you know exactly what kind of breeze I'm talking about. I looked down to see that yes I had done a very good job of splitting my pants crotch open wide. More than I could possibly hide. I knew my choices in my locker consisted of my gym clothes or that .. short outfit. What I didn't notice was that my boxers shorts were also very wet. At least until I got up and could feel them firmly sticking to me. I confirmed this by feeling with my hand yeah they were sopping wet along with the rear of my pants.

Still all was not lost I would just have to wear my gym pants. Commando was not really an option so I decided to wear the red gym shorts under the pants. The nerve racking trip to my locker trying to avoid the kids in school was bad but I managed. The trip to the closest washroom was a little better and I made it in without too much trouble. The pants and boxers went splat once I got them off my hips. I used some tissue paper to dry myself off not that there was really that much but it felt better. The shorts went on followed by my grey sweatpants. I still had my two tshirts on and mostly looked like Bill just not so grudge anymore.

Back at my locker I hung up my soggy clothes to dry on the little hooks till third period when I would have my Home ec class. I hadn't completed the essay portion of the weekend and didn't really want to. The thought of telling people, we were supposed to read them to the class, of how I spent Sunday as a Mennonite pregnant woman was something I wanted to avoid. I closed my locker to a few looks from people. Considering how they have seen me over the last week somehow my wearing gym pants didn't phase them. I got a few snickers as I guess word had gotten around already of why I was wearing them but this is highschool and with text messaging they probably know about me in china.

My first few classes were uneventful. Math followed by Modern Lit, both of which are mind numbing to begin with, it didn't surprise me in the least. On the way to Home ec with my pants over my shoulder I walked by Barb and the gang. Barb of course had to have her say even though I kept walking.

"Oh Belle..." with a hand over her face. I snickered couldn't help myself.

For once I was glad mom and dad had signed me up for Home ec as it meant I could at least repair my pants. I thought I had gotten one over on Ms Anne but she told us on entering that we had until next class to complete the essay, she didn't look at me but I gathered I was not the only one, to complete them with a terse word or two about failing a major grade point.

I showed her what I had done to my pants. She laughed at me and told me to pop them into the dryer for a few minutes before trying to sew them on a machine. I put them in to dry and was walking back to my desk when Darma asked me for help. Being a nice guy I said sure before I even asked with what. I really should pay attention to these little things. Now on sewing days like today most of the girls were working on their dresses for the fall/hallowseve dance at school. Some worked on costumes of one sort or another while Darma and one of her friends were working on skirts. Darma had taken an older and larger jean skirt she found at some thrift store and was altering it into a more modern jean skirt. In this case instead of a front zip a rear zip skirt that hugged the hips and flared out with soft fold pleats.

I may not be into skirts but considering what she had done it was impressive. What she needed help with was for someone to check the hem length all around and pin it as needed so she could finish the hem. Well me and pins don't agree so, temporarily, Belle made an appearance in her skirt to be hemmed. The skirt just happen to show off my legs to full advantage much to the jealous looks of some of the girls.

Now I never did find out for sure but I think one of them pulled the fire alarm. All I knew is that I had barely been standing in front of Darma for 2 minutes when the fire alarm went off. As you can imagine everyone in school got to see Belle with a jean mini skirt, they are still called that even if they come to mid thigh, out front of school while we all waited for the fire department to come and give us the all clear. Barb was thrilled as she passed me with a "Much better Belle" to her line behind her classroom teacher. So there I stood with everyone watching as Darma continued to fuss with the skirt around me. She batted my hands away when I tried to at least release my t shirts from the knot she made exposing my midriff along with the waistband of the skirt. This also just happened to show that I had small breasts at the same time.

Wolf whistles yes got a few of those while I stood their blushing as red as the fire engines we were waiting for. And let me tell you they took their sweet time getting there all two of the trucks. Then went inside and did whatever they did while my poor legs developed goose bumps on goose bumps.

They finally gave us the all clear to return to school and everyone broke up to mingle or return to class. I was one of the first to try to get in but was stopped along the way, first by Barb and the gang who wanted to ask me why I was wearing the sweatpants before. Before I could answer Jason showed up and took me aside, I was mixed feelings about that. I was saved from answering Barb but now I had to talk to Jason about his situation.

"Wow you look incredible Belle! So did you think about our date?"

Date? What date?

"I can't believe.... that ...you ..of..."I was so mad I was stuttering.

Barb and the gang noticed this and interfered. This was a fight between two guys and they butted in. They grabbed my arms and held them so that that jerk wouldn't get what was coming to him. He just stood there expecting an answer too. I'll give him an answer and but good too.

"Why you dirty rotten...mphhffff"and someone's hand covers my mouth.

"She'll get back to you on that." I'm not sure exactly who said that and I really don't care. The girls dragged me away from him as he stood there with this stupid grin on his face. I wanna pound that grin off his lying dirty sneaky face with a tire iron!

"Let me ...go! He needs his face rearranged with a baseball bat!"

"Belle calm down you don't want to get into a fight."

"Oh you bet I do! I'm gonna tear out his lying throat with a dull fishhook!"

"Belle you have to.."

"I don't have to do anything! My name is Bill! Bee Eye El El! And I'M NOT a g..." Smack!

"Belle Thorne! Enough of this .. God's girl can't you see that we your friends are trying to help you! Do you have any idea at all how all this is making me feel! Do you?" Barb was staring at me with tears in her eyes. I noticed then it was just Barb and myself left as everybody had moved inside or off property to the yellow arches.

"Look Barb I didn't ask you too.." I started but she wouldn't let me finish.

"No you didn't but dammit girl I ... I ..." I could see the tears falling down her face and then she did something unexpected. She kissed me full on the lips and walked away. What just happened? My anger at Jason was totally gone in an instant. I stood there for a full minute at least and put my hand to my lips.

I probably would still be standing there if Darma had not come to retrieve her skirt when she noticed I was not going back to the class. I followed kinda numbly with a sway to my walk. I felt amazing and totally weird. Barb kissed me. My first kiss from a girl. Wow!

Darma all but pushed me into the changeroom to remove her skirt which I did and put back on my sweatpants. My camouflage pants were dry and after a bit of setting up with black thread, courtesy of Ms Anne, I started to work at fixing my pants. It wasn't too bad as it was mostly just threads that broke once I cleared away the rats nest of thread. Ms Anne was nice enough to give me pointers on what to do and how to fix it. My experience with sewing pieces of cloth together to make the pillow, it was that or a dress or skirt I chose the pillow, and I started to mend my pants. It was actually easier than I thought it would be and just 5 minutes into my lunch period I returned from the changeroom wearing my pants again.

As I was leaving I thanked Ms. Anne and with my sweatpants over my shoulder walked back. I did manage to catch myself from doing a curtsey as I left but just barely. Darn deportment class. I released my tshirts from the side knot they were in and they fell back to mostly covering my waist the pants must have shrunk a bit in the dryer as they were not sitting in the same place as before. Not much but they were just a little higher than before.

I tried to talk to Barb about what happened but she wouldn't even let me come close. Jason would just look at me with this sick smile on his face and he seemed to be everywhere I went that day. I didn't want to talk to him at all the ass. For some reason people kept calling me Belle all day even though I was clearly dressed as a boy. I only caught on when I actually listened close. Belle and Bill really don't sound that different if they are said fast.

At one point I really had to go to the washroom. I made it most of the way to the closest boys room when the principal made it clear that the washrooms were not for girls like me. I really gotta talk to mom about that. Since he waited while I used the staff washroom, outside of course.

"Belle we are still waiting for those forms to be filled out and sent to us."

"Mom faxed them last night I think." I replied without thinking. I did wonder why he asked about the measurement form for the costume.

"Oh those were ...I see no problem." and then under his breath but I overheard anyways "Got to convince the super to get us a new fax machine this piece of junk causes more problems ..." the rest I didn't hear as he was walking away. I did make it back to history but got a frown and a Ms. Throne from the teacher but no detention. The homework assignment was punishment enough. Chemistry was my last class of the day thankfully and that was spent with figuring out amino acid chains and how to draw them with the proper number of little lines. It's interesting to know some of the stuff. I still like the dancing sodium on water thing.

Sam and her gang were waiting out front for me. Denise gave me a strange look but I chalked that up to leftovers from this morning. Or lunch with that stupid skirt. Sam just had a smile from ear to ear. It's nice to see a real smile on her face after all she has been through. Now if I could get her to take my place with Jason...

Since the afternoon had turned out nice I pushed Sammi all the way home. The girls chatted with her about this or that and I didn't pay to much attention. I was just happy that for once I was going home the same way I left as a boy! A block from our house the last of her friends peeled off and it was just the two of us. I decided to ask for her advice.

"Sam."

"Yeah Bill?"

"What do I do about uhm you know? I mean he won't leave me alone and I want nothing to do with the ass."I started to get a bit upset at just thinking about it.

"I never thought I would be giving my little brother big sister advice on how to handle boys as a girl." She started laughing

"That's not fair Sam!" I tried to not chuckle as it did sound funny.

"Well its true!"

"Sammi..."

"Fine but for this I'll talk to you as Belle okay?"

"But I ... I mean .. same person you know?" okay I totally flubbed that part.

"Well Belle when a pretty girl like you refuses a hunk like Jason, who I might add can have the pic of any girl in school, he finds them like forbidden fruit that he has to have them some way." She started " Follow me so far?"

"Sorta. I'm not trying to be pretty or anything I'm trying to be a boy for crying out loud."

"Your doing a terrible job at it Ms. Thorne who speaks like a girl all the time now even at home!" Blink blink.

"Still Jason feels he has to have you so he keeps asking and asking till he wears you down and you say yes... or charge him with harassment." Oh goody legal stuff again.

"Uhhhh.."

"Yeah calling the cops on a schoolmate is not the best idea. So you have to get him to lose interest. One get a boyfriend."

"No way no how! Not even gonna consider that..."

"Two go out with him once to satisfy him but make it a horrible date." I think even my brain sputtered at that one.

"Or three talk to him and treat him only as a friend which deflates it." huh what does she ohhhhh....

"So that why I got those 'Let's just be friends' comments when I asked out girls before."

"Exactly"

"That works?"

"Did it work on you?"

"I guess.." dammit. "So do I really talk like a girl all the time?"

"Yes you do although I don't really hear it unless I look for it but you do."

"How about if I talk like this" I tried to talk in my normal deep range. It was a little harder than I thought. Sam just started laughing really really hard.

"What?" I asked dropping back to the higher range.

"You...you... oh gods Belle you sounded like a girl trying to talk like a boy and doing a really bad job at it."

"I guess I need to practice."

"Just a bit! Let me get my keys. Hold your history book" She fumbled with her purse and put the key into the lock only to find the door already unlocked.

It didn't take me long to get her chair over the threshold as our front door sidewalk comes up pretty close to the bottom of the door. It was something we did years ago. A few years ago dad and I, along with a much younger and tomboyish Sammi had moved around a bunch of dirt so that the lawn would slope away from the house instead of towards it. We also had to pour some concrete over the original front sidewalk so that our new sidewalk would be over the grass and not a foot under it. I think we may have made it a bit steep as the new sidewalk actually comes about an inch below the doorsill. Although you can't tell there is actually a number of big stones in that concrete. We kinda needed filler for it and Dad went a little overboard with the metal bar stuff.

After pulling off my pink and white sneakers, gotta find a way to dye those as they are really comfortable, I pushed Sam past the living room where dad was ensconced doing his accountant bit with the bills. Dad has this thing where he sits on the couch with this old adding machine from like the 90's or something and types away at the keys with all the bills and receipts for groceries fuel etc. I never figured out what he does or how it is supposed to work but he takes it very serious.

"Hey dad."

"Hi daddy!" yeah shes a daddy's girl groan.

"Hi girls" and he just waves without looking up and goes on punching the keys. I once suggested using a computer. It was a bad idea apparently even mom gave me the look at that one.

Did he just say "Hi girls?"

Lil Jacilynn pushed herself back from her vanity and stretched. Her arms barely held high enough as she was still in her uniform from school. It was a bit of a pain having to go to school on a Saturday but it did allow them to have another month off school over public kids so it did have it's good side.

She moved out of her room still without changing as she wanted something to drink. As she neared the kitchen though she heard Tante Andrea with lil Dottie talking in the kitchen. Curious she tried to listen without being seen.

"You can come peel the carrots Jacilynn."

"How did you know I was.."

"Magic" Said Andrea Dimaggio with a grin.

I can't believe he said that.

"Hi girls?" I said as I pushed Sammi towards the kitchen.

"Told you." was all Sammi said.

"But.."

"Here peel the potatoes." Sammi may not be able to move around much yet but she is still the same old bossy big sister. I started to peel the potatoes that mom had left out on the fridge shelf while Sammi was busy putting the spices mom left out on the counter into the chicken. Well it looks like a chicken..sort of. It's brown instead of white but it's shaped like one. There is even bamboo bones in it for the legs.

Being a vegetarian has its drawbacks. There is this store that mom and dad buy groceries from with these premade meal things. Like the steak from last night that is beef flavored or the chicken that is chicken flavored. While not real meat it tastes like it. Supposedly healthy too according to dad.

Mom grew up in a household with meat as a main staple and by the time she met dad had grown really sick of meat. Something about a pet cow or something. Dad on the other hand grew up in a household were veggies were a main staple and meat was a treat because of Granny Thornes Diabetes. Grandpa Thorne died in the early days of the Gulf war and raised Dad and my 2 aunts by herself. Not that they needed much as all of them were teens at the time. Still the meals became largely out of the expanded garden in the back of their house. We also have a small garden, dead now, which is where our potatoes are from. There is also a box of tomatoes to be canned yet. I check the box for any that are ripe enough to use and grab two. Most of the rest are starting to get red instead of green. I also grab some cabbage, green pepper, red pepper, and turnip which I will use with the lettuce in the fridge to make a small salad.

Sammi is busy stuffing bread and bits of spices into the chicken that is wedged against the cupboard. I know she could be faster at it but with only one arm she is doing a good job anyways. Sam mostly tells me what to do as I go about getting stuff. She chops up the veggies for the garden salad with the chopper. It's supposed to be for onions but works on other veggies as well. After we finish getting the supper ready and in the oven Mom comes in from the front as she just got home from work. She puts her seal of approval on everything we did. Which is kisses on cheeks. Dad is pretty much banned from cooking anything in the kitchen after the pot incident. I do not know exactly how but one of mom's antique pots is used as a flower pot because of dad.

While supper is cooking mom helps us clean up. Sam gets to put the lower dishes away while I dry. Not a big deal and doesn't take long. It does however give me a chance to ask mom something that is bothering me.

"Mom when do we find out about my breasts?" She momentarily stops washing before she starts again.

"I tried to call the doctor today but couldn't get through to him. Your next appointment was supposed to be Thursday but I got it changed to tomorrow night. We may not get a lot of time with him as it's after hours for him tomorrow." she paused for a bit" so how was your day at school?"

"Not bad same old same old." Please don't say anything Sammi.

"Belle got asked out by Jason again mom." Doh! Thanks a lot Sammi.

"Belle? But I thought you were at school as" then she looked at me head to toe. What?" I see... So Belle is there something you should tell me?"

"It was nothing mom. He is just being a pest. I can take care of it." shut up Sam!

"You know Belle if you like boys I... We would still love you... Boy or girl your still our daughter. I mean child!" oh this is just getting better and better.

"I'm Bill your son mom! It's just that with the skirt on today Jason saw me as Belle and he asked if I had thought over our date."See not my fault.

"Skirt? What skirt? Young lady if you don't tell me the whole story right now I swear.."

"It wasn't my fault I was helping Darma in class by modeling her skirt so she could fix the hem while my pants dried so I could fix them and then the fire alarm went off and I froze in the skirt before the firemen came. I wasn't trying to be Belle it just happened."

"Your pants? What was wrong with your pants?"

"Well I kinda split the crotch rescuing my bag from the trunk of the car as you drove off."

"Your bag? What was your bag.. nevermind. So you were wearing a skirt because your pants had split and your teacher was mending them?"

"No mom I fixed them she just helped me do it. The skirt was while my pants were in the dryer as the butt got a little wet."

"I see so your saying you were not trying to dress as a girl behind my back at school?"

"What no mom! It just happened I didn't want to do it!"

"I .. it's just... lately Bill...you seem to end up as Belle a lot even though you say your Bill. It's hard to understand or believe. I .. uhmm .. do you two have homework?"

"Well yes but.."

"Fine! Lets finish here and you two can go get started. I .. Your father and I.. need to discuss things." We finished the dishes fairly quickly and it would be awhile before supper was ready so Sam and I went into the living room to do our homework. Dad looked up and saw mom. Somehow they communicated without speaking and he put aside his papers, in a neat pile so we wouldn't disturb them, and took her outside. They were going to sit in the back of the car for their discussion. What I wouldn't give to overhear it!

I was sitting there doing the bills my bi monthly duty when the kids came into the living room with their books. Poor Samantha it hurts to see her in that wheelchair. What I wouldn't give to get her out of it. Then there is Bill. That kid I hope Doc Brown can figure out what is happening with the poor kid. Everytime I see him lately he looks more and more like a girl. I can see it tearing him apart but again, like with Samantha, I'm powerless to do anything. This is something he really has to overcome himself. He has a good head on his shoulders if he would just use it correctly.

What alerted me I couldn't say but one look at Sally and I knew she was barely holding it together. Gods she is so beautiful even now after all this time together it still amazes me that of all the men she chose me. I put my papers together even though in today's computer age there was rarely mistakes "It always pays to check" my da used to say. Hate to say it but the old bugger was right. I know its antiquated to use his old calculator but it gives me that little piece of him when I do it. I followed Sally out to the car and with a grin got into the back with her. Oh the memories I'll never tell the kids about.

The door was barely closed behind me with Sally leaped into my arms and started sobbing with powerful shakes. I didn't yet know what this was about but I was sure I would need a change of shirt afterwards.

"Oh Dan!" I put my arm around her and held her as she cried. "I'm such a horrible mother!" Oh oh bad sign. I just gave a hmmm noise for her to continue.

"I'm trying to be there for Bill and Samantha but it's just so hard. I can almost see our son disappearing and being replaced by this daughter I never knew I had. And she is so beautiful and this is our son and and ..ohhh" and here comes more tears. So its that old ghost again.

I remember the first time I saw Sally following her mother around like a good daughter of a proper Mennonite family. She was beautiful even without any makeup. It hurt to see her folding into herself to be what they wanted her to be.

"Do you remember our first time in the back seat of your dad's Pontiac?"

"Gods yes! I was horrible in that mini skirt and low cut tank top. The heels I must have tripped over a dozen times! And the makeup I should have never let Dolly talk me into that."

"I liked it. It was like watching a butterfly opening from her cocoon to see you finally relax."

"I looked awful!"

"No you didn't Sally. It was the first time I saw the real you and fell so deeply head over heels in love with you."

"Dad was not impressed when he caught us."

"Yeah the old fart blamed me for turning his daughter to heathen ways."

"I wore pants just to get back at him when he ordered me to not see you again."

"Do you remember what you swore to me when I picked up you sweetheart?"

"That I would never judge or force my children to ...oh oh Dan. That's dirty pool!"

"Maybe but ...well you have been obsessing over Bill a little more than you should."

"But he is our son and he should not being doing this stuff. It's not right its..."

"That's your mother talking."

"God please don't tell me that! Dan...I wish I hated you right now."

"Hated me why?"

"Your right you big jerk! I wish I hated you but I love you. What did I do to ever deserve a guy like you."

"If you ever find out let me know cause I feel the same about you."

"So what do we do about Bill?" she asked me. It was a good question.

"I think. I think we should let things play out it may be a passing phase or exactly what he says it is. I don't feel like he is lying to us."

"Dan you should have heard his story today. Did you know a boy has asked him, as Belle, out on a date twice now?"

"Should I break out that old shotgun I was keeping for Samantha's suitors for Belle now?"

"That's not funny!" she giggled so it really was.

"Cute thought."

"Yes. Still everytime I see that boy all I seem to see is a girl. He doesn't even talk like a boy anymore. And his manners are better than Sam's."

"That may be from that deportment class you got him in."

"That was not my fault. That Ms. Bain"Giggle" Sorry Ms Barnes is the one who wanted to take Belle and make a proper woman out of her. It was all I could do to get her to relent on the deportment classes for a month instead of fully enrolling him."

"That still doesn't seem right to me."

"I know but with people thinking that Bill is a trans girl transitioning it's really hard to fight that when he keeps coming home as a girl more and more."

"Speaking of the transgirl thing. Did you hear from the solicitor about the case?"

"Yes they feel that they can settle this out of court. However it will be hard to prove with Belle around day after day."

I just sat there holding her as she composed herself once more.

"Dan what do you really think about this whole Belle thing? Do you think maybe we should get him to a therapist." ewww that t word again.

"You know how I feel about brain farters messing with peoples heads."

"Dan!"

"But.. I feel that this will somehow make a far better man out of Bill if he can get through it." I paused" I also think that we should give our son all the support we can. I do feel that under all that he is still our son. I believe in him." Sally sat back while still holding me and looked at me with those wonderful eyes of hers.

"How did I ever get a man like you?"

"So all better?"

"Yes now come here you!" It would seem that we have some energy to get rid of. Eventually we came up for air. My head was all tingly from the kiss.

"At least he gets to be a butler Thursday night."

"Yes there is that. Now kiss me again you idiot"

And I did just that for quite awhile.

Ha for once I don't start off with that saying. Yes! I'm sure people are tired of hearing "I can't believe"...darn it!

Mom and dad came in after about 2 hours long after we had finished our homework. They had this look, so did Sam and I actually, and we knew that they had not only discussed things in the back seat. That night as I got ready for bed mom stopped by and tucked me in again. She didn't say anything but then again she didn't have to I could feel it. She loved me without condition. It was enough. Dad waited at the door just leaning on the frame and I saw him envelop mom as they closed my door.

I slept pretty well even though I had vague memories of a dream where the doctor was chasing me with a scalpel as large as a baseball bat and Barb beside him with a mascara brush of the same size. Strangely the dream didn't bother me till I thought about it afterwards. I did wake up with junior calling for attention. Glad to know I'm still very male where it counts.

Mom came into my room and picked out a white bra for me to wear today because of the uniform blouse being slightly see thru. I looked at it and seriously thought about trying to tear it before I sighed and just put on the stupid thing. It is still disturbing that I a boy have to wear such a feminine garment with purpose.

Mom did ask me if I wanted to wear the blouse to school with the sweater overtop and my one single black skirt and flats. I just looked at her and she said "perhaps not. Just checking." It was like some sort of test that I either passed or failed, if only I knew what the test was. I grabbed a pair of black panties to wear though as I seem to end up in something Belle often lately which is perhaps why she suggested the outfit. I grabbed a pair of my black jeans with the holes in the knees with threads hanging out. A new tshirt and the same Metallica tshirt as yesterday.

I did help Sam with her makeup today and for once manage to not get any on myself. I did seem to be getting the hang of it, not that I wanted to, and could get her face done in a few minutes. Mom shooed me out to help her get dressed. At school I helped unload Sam making sure to keep my bag and the uniform garment bag free of the car. Wasn't gonna have a repeat of yesterday.

As we approached the school doors I saw Barb and Dawn ahead of us and waved. Barb took one look at me and ran inside the school. Dawn was waiting for me as we got there. She had a small bag in one hand. As I approached she tossed the bag at me before I could ask what it was. I caught it but didn't know what it was and wanted to ask.

"Dawn wait a minute. What is with the bag and why.."

"If you know what's good for you you will fix your face before coming near us." and with that she walked into the school. I had no idea what she was on about but Sam took the initiative and opened the bags little zipper. I know I shouldn't but I was curious.

"You've got to be shitting me!" yep its makeup.

"Mmm nice shade of lippy. Oh this eyeshadow pack is totally your color!"

"Your not helping!"

"Relax lil bro I'm just messing with you."

"But what does it mean?"

"It means that they will only allow you to be Belle around them. Not that I would suggest actually wearing it but you could at least find out what is going on."

I knew what she meant. But this would mean purposely being Belle just so that I could talk to them. Did I want to do that? The memory of Barb's kiss told me I had to know why. But I'm a guy. This is way over my head!

I spent most of the day in classes not really paying attention as my mind twists around that tiny bag in my backpack. Should I wear it just to talk to them? Should I toss it back and tell them off? But then what of the kiss? My mind supplies all the details in torment of the good or bad of doing one or the other all day. I try at lunch to just give it back but neither Barb, Dawn, or any of the girls are there. I guess they went out to the yellow arches.

Before my last class I rush off to my locker as we got out 5 minutes early. I open my door and think I must be nuts to do this but I have to know. A few minutes in the washroom and Belle is back. Just not wearing any makeup it will have to do. I have the deportment class after school anyways so getting changed into the girlie uniform isn't that big a deal really.

Sitting in my last class with my thighs sticking to the plastic school chair I contemplated if this was a bad idea. The guys in class are of course seriously trying to not watch me and watch me all in the same way. I mean yeah the skirt is short and the blouse leaves no question that I'm wearing a bra at all. The blazer manages to keep me warm but just barely. I forgot the sweater as I really don't find it that comfortable. The class bell signalling the end of the school day finally happens. I make my way out of class totally missing that I walk with the wiggle and manner from deportment class.

Waiting outside for me is the two people who have so far kissed me. Jason with this lost look in his face and Barb who is smiling like crazy. I do not know why these two only see me as Belle and not Bill but there is things I have to know. I ignore Jason and grab Barb's arm for a walk. The idiot follows like a lost puppy. At least he gives us some room.

"Barb I have one question. Why the kiss?" as I say this I reach into my backpack and remove the small bag of makeup. I try to give this to her but she hides her hands behind her back.

"Belle that is your makeup we got it just for you. Keep it. Please!"

"Barb despite appearances I am a guy. Belle is not a real person. I can't wear makeup just to make you happy. It's not who or what I am."

"Your real to me."

"But..."

"No please listen Belle. I noticed you the first day of school hiding behind that facade of Bill and it hurt. When I finally saw you emerge from your Bill cocoon it was like watching sunshine envelop you. You are so beautiful as the girl you are and yet..."

"Go on" I have no idea why I just said that.

"I knew that a part of you was boyish and I ..feel for you."

"Feel for me? As in you have feelings for me?" like lust, puppy love, want to have sex.. drool ... wait head in the game pay attention!

"I .. don't know. I do know that everytime you try to hide as Bill again it hurts me. But seeing you as Belle like you are right now.. It's so right. Oh I'm babbling."

"Oh I don't know babbling is kinda cute from you." Lame!

Barb stops me and turns me towards her and she steps up on her tip toes and kisses me again. Not on the lips this time just the cheek but still.

"Thanks for being beautiful for me Belle." and she walks away with this sway to her hips that gets junior revving up. I'm still standing there when the idiot walks up.

"That was hot Belle! So have you thought about our..."

"F**k off Jason!" junior has retreated so far now that I'm in danger of changing sex spontaneously. I walk away from him as fast as I can towards the opposite doors leading to St Mary's.

"Love you Belle Throne!" He yells behind me. When I look up yes everyone in school heard it. I just put my head down and plod on while my face turns brick red not from shame but anger. Sam is waiting for me at the door with her coat on over her skirt and blouse. Yes she wore something not too different from what I'm wearing right now. Mom and dad are supposed to pick us up from my deportment class for the doctor's.

I'm still very mad as I grab her chair and push it with some force. Actually just pushing it across the lawn, which is not all that easy before I get to the cement path allows me to work of some of the frustration. Once we are on the path again I stop pushing as hard and it is then I notice that Sam releases her deathgrip on the chair.

"Should I ask?"

"Jason."

"Oh no what did he do?"

"'I luv you Belle Thorne' infront of the whole school." I said it mockingly and Sam started to giggle at it.

"Sam that's not nice."

"Oh Bill you sure do ...this will be a hot topic tomorrow at school."

"I know believe me I know. Can I kill him or something?"

"No but you should do the lets be friends thing."

"I was going to but well things with Barb happened."

"Yeah.. So...?"

"Barb has.... feelings for Belle. But loathes Bill." That sent Sam laughing hard all the way to deportment class where Ms Bain was waiting for me again. She took over pushing Sam for me, which I was actually grateful for as these shoes, I wore the black flats, have no grip and the sliding was killing my calves.

Sam sat on the side of the class watching me make a complete ass of myself with the stupid book. I hate that book with a passion now. She did seem interested in some of the other stuff discussed during the class on bearing and how speaking like a blonde bimbo, their words not mine, and speaking like a lady is just a matter of choosing the right words.

That part of the class was interesting and even when I am just Bill I think it will help me. The rest of the class goes by quickly and even Sam makes the little curtsey bob in her chair at the end. The girls in the class linger as they want to talk with the Thorne sisters, groan. Which Sam is more than happy to do while we wait for mom and dad to show.

Mom eventually shows up looking rushed as she thanks the girls for watching us as they got caught in traffic before she pushes Sam out amid many a small hug and waves goodbye. Seems Sam has made a few new friends which is nice it can't be as easy as she makes it look being stuck in that chair. Dad is parked right out front with the blinkers on waiting for us and smoothly picks up Sam and deposits her in the back seat while mom and I crawl in from the other side. I actually got my feet in together without hitting anything. I then I groaned to myself as I realized I was proud of getting into the car like a lady.

The drive to the clinic was frantic as dad was doing his impression of a race car driver all the way there. I was glad for the seatbelts. Sam wasn't doing so well for the ride as from the look of it her former boyfriend had done something close to this when she got hurt. If it wasn't for mom telling first, then yelling at him to slow down I was sure Sam was going to toss cookies.

We parked quickly as most of the lot was empty it being after hours. Mom and I got a wiff of burnt rubber as we got out and the look on mom's face was priceless. I just knew dad was in so much trouble tonight. I did not giggle. Boys don't giggle it was a cough. After we got inside and mom did something to dad with a touch I saw him suddenly go from a grin to that look he gets when mom is pissed at him. Again I did not giggle though Sam did. We didn't have to wait long at all before we were called up by a slightly confused nurse. She started to mouth a Bi sound, stopped did a double take, and then started again.

"Thorne?"Mom nodded"Follow me please."

Not gonna say it. Not even gonna think about "I can't..STOP!"

The nurse showed us into the usual looking doctors room. Table with the leg things that I'm not entirely sure what they are used for. She pulled the paper over the top while Sam did her best to read a cosmo one handed. Dad paced back and forth while mom sat beside me on the thinly cushioned fake leather bench.

The walls of the room were plain white with a 4 in black rubber baseboard around the edge while the floor itself was speckle patterned tile with metal lines. In other words this was one of the OLD exam rooms. The shelves in the cabinet had lots of different stuff piled almost to the top through the glass sliders. Some of it probably dated back to the 1980's. In place of the normal desk with a flatscreen monitor was an archaic looking monitor and keyboard. I didn't see a tower or desktop computer anywhere.

The only new looking item in the room was the chair itself. Even the old no flipping weight scales were old. The new ones can flip between metric and standard but these, there was two of them, were only standard. One at least seemed accurate. The other was at its min setting and was pointing down. The wait for Doctor Brown, no his name isn't Emmett, was longer than I would have expected.

He did come in and click off the button on the wall for a patient waiting and hit the other one say in with patient. Before he sat down at the desk and unloaded the folder onto it. He examined the folder for a few minutes before he looked at me and Sam. He motioned Sam forward and gently took of her shoe before pulling out a small hammer with a pick on one side. He used the pick on each of her toes and did the whole "Can you feel this?" thing. Sam has ticklish feet so she was giggling almost steady as he did it. He even smiled and did a small quick tickle to her foot which caused her to laugh before he had her squeeze his hand.

"Good good Samantha seems we might be able to switch your arm cast to a light cast and give you crutches soon. Your leg is going to take a bit longer to heal though. Lets give it another week and an xray to check the fracture on your arm first." He then turned to me. He did the Spock eyebrow at the way I was dressed. He like does it so perfect it's scary. Mom on the other hand has to put her hand to her mouth each time he does it. There is this book mom says were someone says to Spock "Don't point that thing at me it might be loaded" or something. While its kinda funny she finds it really hilarious.

"Well young la... uhh.. Bill can you take off your coat and shirt please." Its a blazer and blouse you ...why am I arguing? Mom helps me with the blazer and I unbutton the blouse while mom pulls it out of the skirt for me. She neatly folds each of them onto her lap. The doctor then motions for me to remove the bra. Dad has already turned his back on me once I started to unbutton the blouse. I understand as it's that whole I look like a girl thing.

I hand my bra to mom, gods I never thought I would think that, and he takes his cold fingers to my left nipple. He does some prodding that doesn't really hurt but it's still cold so I flinch at first. He continues poking and then he squeezes in a few places asking how it feels. I say its fine till he gives the area behind the nipple a gentle squeeze. That one I felt and it hurt as I jerk back and cover my breast with a hand.

"Interesting" and there goes the eyebrow again. Mom stifles a giggle but just barely. It makes it really hard to not laugh at mom's antics. Doc Brown looks at me from side to side as he has me turn this way and that before motioning me to get dressed again. I was never so happy to put back on the blouse, mom gave me the bra first which I reluctantly put on then the blouse. I didn't tuck it into the skirt though. I sat back down when most of the buttons were done up and I put on the blazer to get warmed up. I was cold!

"So?" Dad's a man of few words.

"So I would like to send Bill for an upper and lower body scan. The blood test came back with some anomalies. His testosterone level is low but in the normal range for a boy of his age." He stopped as he was writing something into some notes.

"And! Oh sorry!" Sam covered her mouth with her hand. I guess she is just as impatient as me.

"His estrogen level was much higher than it should be. Not enough to cause breast growth by itself."

Mom gets this look on her face and so does dad before they both say "And"" simultaneously.

"I wish to run a few tests to identify the source of the estrogen level before I can proceed with a treatment. If the cause is from his body producing it then I can issue a blocker. If the source is a growth the regular blocker wont work. The third is that he may be ingesting estrogen of one form that a blocker would not work on."

"Are you saying my son is taking medications behind our backs!" mom is getting really upset at that.

"Quite the contrary actually. You are vegetarians are you not?"

"Well yes but that should have no effect on..."

"Some of the products vegetarians use can cause an increase in estrogen levels in the body. Soy for example has an amount of phytoestrogens that a regular blocker would not work on. The best way to reduce them is by using a low dose form of regular estrogen for a short time. However if Bill has something producing estrogen already this could cause him to have a higher than current level and may produce breast growth."

"So now what?" I'm so confused it's not funny.

"We do more tests before I prescribe anything."

"But what about these these ...things!"I'm getting more upset by the second.

"They should go away with time once we know the exact cause."

"But I look like a girl!" Dammit there is even tears forming in my eyes.

"Bill honey the doctor is trying.." mom starts as she tries to hug me. I twist away and stand up.

"This is all your fault! You and your dammed diet and you keep making me being a girl and you you.. Eyah!" I'm so frustrated I'm just yelling at her to hurt her to ohhh nevermind. I walk to the door and open it slamming it against the small grey rubber stop in the wall and storm down the hall and out of the clinic.

I walk till I have blown off enough steam. A convenient bus stop bench soon has my behind sitting on it with my legs spread open a little as my arms are draped over them. I know its not the least bit ladylike at the moment and I really don't care. It does not take too long before I feel a presence beside me that sits down. I do not even have to look up to know its dad. He waits without saying anything.

"Hey dad." once I'm calm enough I mumble out.

"Hey son feel better yet?"

"A little."

"That was a boneheaded thing to say to your mother. She is not to blame."

"I know it's just."

"Go on"

"It's so unfair! It seems like everytime I turn around people only see me or want me to be Belle. And I'm not Belle!"

"Ah that."

"Yes that."

"You know what I think." I hate that question because of course you have to say no.

"I think that your being Belle has in some small way made you a better person. You spent so much energy before trying to fit in with everyone but as Belle you stand out so much that you can't fit in. I think that people see Belle as the real person because you guarded yourself so much before that,to them, Bill was invisible."

"So?"

"You tell me son."

"I guess I should maybe like try not so hard to fit into groups and maybe relax and be myself whoever I am?"

"Sounds good to me but there is a more pressing issue."

"Oh?"

"Yes. And young lady if you do not go and grovel to your mother I will flip that skirt and spank your pantied behind till you can't sit for a week."

"Daaaddd!" I say as I sort of grin at him. He meant it in the nicest way. I should go say I'm sorry to mom and I feel really bad about that. Like really really bad.

Dad offers me his hand and I use it to pull myself up. We start the walk back to the clinic.

"Just to let you know but Samantha had a small issue with keeping her legs apart. Your mother and her had an argument that resulted in Sam wearing a tube top under a long skirt for days."

"Okay and the point is?"

"Unless you want the same treatment young lady I would suggest you never let your mother catch you with your knees apart while in a skirt." That catches me offguard and I look to his face to see a grin there. Message understood. Still..

"Daaadddd!"

The rest of the walk back takes time and we chat about small little things which helps calm me down till we get to the parking lot. In the lot you can see Sam trying to help my mother who is sitting on the car seat with her legs out. I can not only see her shoulders heaving as she cries but hear her too. The sound lets me know just how much pain she is in. It's so much that even I start to cry as I run towards her. At the sound of my feet, stupid shoes, she looks up and sees me. She opens her arms to me and I run into them for a bone crushing hug.

"Mom I'm so sorry I never meant.."

"Can you ever forgive me for being such a horrible.."

"No mom it's all my fault..."

"No honey it's my fault for telling making you take .."

We continue on that vein for awhile each letting out our frustrations and failings while liberally soaking the other with water in the form of tears.

It's a girl thing, and for once it doesn't bother me in the slightest.

I can't believe how this feels.

Although its actually not legal I was curled up in moms lap for the ride home. Imagine my surprise when we did not stop at home but at the local tv station. I was sorta fuzzy asleep and warm in mom's lap and did not want to move at all.

"Come on sweetie we have a surprise for you."

"mfpfhtt" I said while my face was implanted into moms chest. I really didn't want to move. But she pushed me up where I felt my hair brush the sun-visor.

"This isn't home." I looked around with some confusion. I reluctantly got out of the car with some trepidation. And yes I would have flashed someone if they had been standing next to the car and got a look. I hate skirts!

I was still waking up, crying takes a lot of energy, and I believe so was mom as we walked to the station. She held my hand the entire time just like she used to when I was much younger. I don't know why we ever stopped. Still it gave me a feeling of her loving me and kept me calm.

Once inside the front glass doors mom went to the ladies room with Sam to freshen up while I walked right into the men's room for the same thing. I know that girls have to sit on toilet seats to pee and felt a little guilty as I let go in the urinal. Not really guilty as I'm really a guy I just happen to look like a girl at the moment. And judging by the mirror a really really bedraggled one. I unzipped the skirt to put my blouse back in when the door to the bathroom opened.

"Oh sorry young lady my mistake!" and some guy shuts the door. I waited for it and sure enough he opens the door again.

"uhm miss this is the mens room the ladies is next door." I waited again."Miss did you hear me?" and the door shuts again. I finish tucking in the blouse and redo up the zipper. I check in the mirror and I don't really look that bad. A quick one two on my hair without hairspray doesn't do wonders for it but it looks somewhat better. I wash my hands again, I washed them a sec ago before I tried to fix myself, and pull down more towel to wipe myself. With a quick twirl to make sure nothing is sticking up in the back I head to the door. Outside I can hear mom and that guys voice. With a grin I listen in.

"Ma'am I don't care if your daughter is a boy. She looks like a young lady to me and should be using the ladies room. Kinda remove her from the men's room please." Oh oh trouble. I open the door and walk out calmly right to mom. She looks better than a few minutes ago. Agitated but better. She grabs my hand again and pulls me towards the waiting room. The guy has to get a word in though.

"Young lady I hope you learn your lesson." and disappears into the men's room. I guess he really needed to go. I can't help but smile a bit which mom notices and gives me a look. Alrighty then I'm still in trouble with mom, sigh. Dad is with Sam who looks a lot better than I do at the moment. How does she do that? It's like she disappears into a girls room a total mess and 4 minutes later comes out looking like she is perfect. That is so not fair!

To my surprise Nathan Peters, the father of Bethany and the man that has made my life very difficult greets mom and dad. There is a few words exchanged by way of greeting. The nice to see you and whatnot before he turns his gaze to me. I don't know why but I flinched back for some reason.

"You young lady, or should I say man? It's really hard to tell when you look so much like a young woman of maturity in your uniform."

"uhm it's not a uniform." I mumble out.

"What did you say?"

"It's not a uniform" I say louder.

"Certainly have me fooled. Still my daughter could not stop talking about how much she has enjoyed seeing Belle at the hospital. I can't thank you enough for how much it has helped her..."

"Nathan we are not hear for you to thank my SON for HIS actions at the hospital." dad cuts in with some force.

"What? Oh right sorry. It would seem that I owe you a rather large apology young lady...errr man. I received some erroneous information regarding you and am guilty of not checking the facts before I announced it over the airwaves." He takes a breath. I give him a nod to let him know I follow him so far.

"As such I'm really sorry for any inconvenience it has caused you thus far. I intend to use tonight's broadcast to tell our viewers of my mistake. That is if your willing to allow me to do so?"

"Uhhhh" I'm speachless. I was only expecting maybe a good handshake and be a sport thing but this. Wow!

"We are also having our station manager sign a statement, via our legal department, stating the error was entirely our fault." Blink blink. He looks to me for an answer and seems a little nervous when I do not reply right away.

"I can also bring you on tonight's show to apologize over the airwaves to you."

Me on Tv! Oh wow and I'm not even in trouble for it! "Yes!" I shout out before my brain fully processes what that means.

"Excellent! I'll get Judy to give you a quick makeover for the camera and we will be all set!" What? Wait a minute! Makeover? Oh no! I got too. No don't walk away! And before I can open my mouth he is gone behind a door that says Station personnel only. I turn to mom with a worried look on my face.

"Mom what did I just agree too?"

"Oh Belle!" She sighs and puts a hand over her face. Samantha is jumping up and down in her chair in excitement and Dad is trying very hard to not laugh. Why me?

Judy it turns out is the station makeup artist who fetches me rather quickly and shakes her head. Before I know it I'm wisked off to a small makeup room that smells really weird. There is a long counter with two mirrors with lights screwed into sockets all around them. There is a barber's chair at one of them and along one wall is racks of different outfits from mens suits to womens formal gowns and all the accessories one would need tucked into every available space in the room. The counter has so many small bottles, brushes, powder buffs, cans of various hair products that I can not even identify half of them, some wigs on stands and hair pieces. Even the ceiling has small hooks for some latex looking item.

Once the door is closed Judy has me remove my skirt and blouse so she can quickly iron them on a board that folds down from a wall. While the iron is heating she sits me in a chair and starts to apply various cosmetics to my face.

"Sit still honey this is stage makeup so you don't look like the walking dead behind the camera." I try to sit still but its really hard and start to bounce my leg up and down. She doesn't take all that long with the makeup then she turns me round in the chair and attacks my hair with brushes and two different hair irons. She is really good at this as in no time my hair is pronounced done. She comes from behind me and goes to work on the skirt and blouse with the iron. This gives me a chance to use my tip toes to turn the chair around so I can see myself in the mirror. Do I look like Bill? Not a farting chance in hell. I look very much like I did the night of the performance in the poofy dress. Belle yes but a very very pretty Belle if a touch sharp on some of the colors. I didn't even notice the lipstick being put on.

"Her Belle put on your blouse and skirt."Wow is she ever fast." If I remember right St Mary's uniform requires a sweater and blazer. We don't have time to find yours and I think..hmm." I barely have the blouse buttoned up and she is diving into the racks for something. I only get to see her butt sticking out of the rack. It's like it swallowed her. "The Rack from Planet X" Film at 11. Okay that was a bad idea as it causes me to laugh a bit. I did not giggle. The blouse is done so I work the skirt up my legs as she returns. She grabs the skirt from me and has it zipped up in seconds while at the same time stuffing me into a sweater of some sort that is a bit on the tight side and a school blazer. She turns me around and works at fixing the hair mess that is really not messed up but it does give me a chance to see myself in the mirror.

The sweater and blazer are the real thing from the school and there is no way anyone will not see that. Ms Bain is gonna kill me for sure come Friday! Judy pushes me out the door once she is satisfied everything looks correct. I walk slowly down a hall that has an orange line on the floor. While I do this I mentally rehearse everything in my mind of the "proper lady" things I have so so learned in deportment class as it's my only hope of not being stuck in that class till I'm old and wrinkly, you know like 45 or so.

I pull my shoulders back just a little and try to walk with my back straight and move the hips, which are doing a good number of making my thighs raw. One of the station personnel with these big grey ear muffs comes and grabs my hand in a tight grip. Is this person a Key Grip? The grip part is right I feel like my hand is getting squeezed to death as he/she drags me into a room that has this framed light saying on air but isn't lit.

The room I'm lead into has tons of electronic equipment on one wall. There is 4 or 5 of the camera's that mount on the shoulders in some sort of charging rack. The floor is occupied by two camera's that look a lot like those Dalek things from the old Dr Who. The one wall is painted a blue. I guess this is a blue screen of some sort and off to the side is a mass of cables going through a wall into another room that is separated by a glass wall. In there is more electronic junk and more computers than a store has. From this viewpoint it looks like some of that is older than Grandma and has never moved.

As I try to stay out of the way of people running back and forth with pages of paper, drinks, cue card blanks, and other stuff I cannot even recognize there is people on their knees with rolls of duct tape covering yet more cables on the floor so they don't get moved or people trip on them. There is a few folding tables along one wall where there is a few people, Nathan being one of them, using a marker on the cue cards while on another a person is fiddling with some sort of light thing. The ceiling is a mass of steel girders lights and there is even a moving crane of some sort. All in all it looks very much like organized chaos.

Now if you have ever watched the news you can see that Nathan and Wilma have these nice balzers on with little tiny microphones on them. They sit behind wide desk and in the background you can see the city moving behind them through a window. Well the Desk is only about 3 inches wide max. Their seats are metal stools and the mics are totally fake as the big old foam things are hovering over them instead. The background is apparently done by a computer. Same goes for when she walks away for the weather report it's not a tan wall it's jsut the computer and there is no weather map thing. She does this all while looking into this flat screen off to the side of the camera.

Nathan does not have a new desk it's the same desk as before you just see one side of it with a different background. I get to see this all being done live. The news broadcast is actually being broadcast as you watch it. There is no retakes or redos or anything. I'm really impressed and I'm positive I'll make a complete fool of myself when I do go on. There is Judy beside me make me sip water as I watch all this go down. I don't even notice that 20 minutes has gone by when I'm pulled off to the side and told to walk calmly to Nathan for my introduction.

I manage to walk to him, as a proper young lady, without tripping over anything and landing flat on my face. My legs are freezing cold but my arms are soaking my blouse and blazer. I smile like I have seen in deportment class as he introduces me. I even shake his hand and try to not look at what is apparently going on behind me. From what I can see the view has changed, for viewers, of a brief history of my accomplishments, even the little singing thing on Saturday.

I know the next part to come is for Nathan to apologize to everyone and me for the mistake he made as soon as the video cuts out. While standing there out of the corner of my eye I see someone come through the doors where it is painted in big bold letters. Do NOT open this door while filming. The receptionist from the front hurries to us tripping over a cable in the process but catches herself as she hurries to us. I can see some pissed off looks from the camera men as she grabs his ear and starts to talk to him.

I watch as his probbaly patented smile totally vanishes in a moment and is replaced by anguish of the worst kind. He drops everything in his hands and puts his hands to his face ruining his makeup. It takes me a moment to realize that he is crying as his shoulders start heaving. Three of the grip people come and take him on his rolling stool off to the side. The receptionist turns to me.

"Belle a terrible thing has happened. Stand right here please I'll get Mason." and she walks to the one guy in the room whose face was red as a tomato. I see her whispering to him and his face goes very pale. He motions over another person and talks to them but I can't make out what they say from where I'm standing. Wilma is also informed of whatever just happened and she bursts into tears. Mason shakes his head and look around finally focusing on me. He raises and eyebrow and comes to speak to me.

"Your an actress right Belle?"

"Well yes but its Bill and actor of a sort..."

"Fine whatever. I need you to help us out of a spot as our two anchors are not in any shape to help. I need you to read from these cue cards that I'm going to hold up. Can you do that for us? I'll make it worth your wild."

"Yeah I suppose." Sounds simple enough. I'm already toast as it is nothing is gonna save me from deportment class anyways.

"Good girl. We are on in 10 seconds. Good luck." He steps back and is handed some cue cards which he reads and shuffles really fast. The camera man helper motions to me and displays his hand with fingers. Show time.

"Welcome back ladies and gentlemen. Due to unforeseen circumstances I Belle Thorne"mental groan" Have an unfortunate announcement to make. Bethany Margarette Anne Peters, Daughter of Nathan and Denise Peters passed away from respiratory failure 25 minutes ago."NOOOOO..

"Tonight's movie will begin shorty after these service announcements." I finish as I can feel the tears fall silently down my cheeks. The lights go off and I stand there still. I do not hear anything at all. It's like all the sound in the world has ceased.

Authors note: Bethany is not based on a real person however I felt that this chapter should be dedicated to her anyways. Thank you for reading.

The sun was shining from an odd angle as I woke up. I was warm but felt cramped. I struggled with a thicker comforter and arms before I was able to see that I was in my parents bed. Sam was on one side of me with daddy on the other side of her. Mother was on my other side. I do not remember how I got here nor how I got into my lavender silk pajamas. I did know that my bladder was calling for immediate attention. I padded out of bed being careful not to disturb any of my family.

It did not take me long to get to the washroom and with relief I sat after pulling down my panties. They were the same ones I had put on yesterday and it was more than time for them to be changed. I wiped myself before getting up to wash my hands. A quick trip to my room to retrieve my bathrobe and to put my laundry into the hamper then back to the washroom to begin the morning ritual of a nice bubbly bath.

Unlike some of my friends I prefer to sit in the tub while it fills up as the bubbles tickle me but in a good way as I lay back and relax. I like how the warm water relaxes muscles that you didn't know you had knots in and almost drift off to sleep in the tub before I shake myself awake. I grabbed the bath sponge and lather it up with some cucumber and aloe body wash being careful to wash myself all over thoroughly. Once my body is nice and clean I shampoo and condition my hair being careful to rub the conditioner into each hair and pore softly. I rinse myself twice in the tub water before pulling the drain. When most of the tub is drained I turn on the shower for another rinse before I get out and pat myself dry in certain sensitive spots.

I turn to the mirror and inspect myself all over where I can see. Looking good so far at least I'm not flat anymore but the doctor did say something about soy milk helping to fill me out and I think about maybe drinking more of it than usual before I notice to my horror that my eyebrows have sprouted a few dark hairs along with my chin! Shaking slightly I use the tweesers to restore my looks to their proper glory and start to relax a little. I try to not think about the doctor and his reveal about my hormones being mixed up. I do hope he can figure it out soon.

After I'm sure there is no surprises on my face I lotion and powder myself before slipping into my bathrobe. A quick silent paddle across the hall leads me to Sam's room where I can at least dry and fix my hair. It takes me longer than it should and I do not know why but before long my pretty curls and bangs are back. A bit of hairspray and my hair is done enough. I find it best to not totally dry my hair with a hair dryer and let it naturally dry after spraying it this way it seems to hold up better throughout the day. Satisfied I run to my room for my makeup. It takes me a bit to find my little bag in the bottom of my schoolbag. I'm so grateful to have best girlfriends like Barb and Dawn. Their gift of my very own makeup makes me giggle with happiness as I paddle back to Sam's vanity to do my face.

I have to be careful to not put on as much as I want too. Aside from the fact mother just let me start to wear makeup the school doesn't like us to be "made up like tarts". It takes me a bit to get it done right as I'm still new at this, though I do silently thank Sam for her help in showing me how to do it properly. Before long my pretty face stares back at me and I smile at how pretty I look with just a little makeup. I carefully pack away my makeup and toss the wipes I used into the trash can beside Sam's table. I wonder if I can get daddy to buy me my own vanity now that I can wear makeup.

My thoughts are filled with ways in which I can get daddy to get me my own vanity as I return to my room and grab a fresh pair of panties and a bra before donning a fresh pair of nude tights. I do not want to take too much time getting ready for school and rush a bit getting into my uniform blouse, skirt, sweater and blazer. I wish I had a full length mirror in my room as well as I adjust the skirt and tuck in my blouse. Once I'm satisfied I cross into the bathroom and check myself in the mirror there. I do a few twirls back and forth as I'm so happy to be a St. Mary's girl. Pity my nails do not have any nail polish but alas I'm still to young for that.

Since I was now ready for school I headed downstairs for breakfast. Nobody else was yet awake so I pulled out some eggs and started to cook a few soft yoke eggs in the non stick frying pan we keep on the stove. Most people think you have to have a clean frying pan all the time but actually its best to just keep it covered with a slight coating of grease/oil/butter instead. You also never cook on high with a frying pan that causes troubles. I set 4 eggs cooking in the frying pan and got some bread going. I had removed my blazer to a chair and was wearing mom's frilly apron that ties in the back. The puffy sleeves of my school blouse were on display and reminded me of my uniform the whole time. I giggled to myself as I set about cooking breakfast for everyone. Once the eggs were done I put one each on four plates along with some slightly golden toast with real butter melting on each. From the fridge I removed some sausage and cooked that. I do not know what is in each sausage but it's not meat and it really only needs to be just slightly warmed up if you cook it too long it becomes hard.

As I was wiping out the pan with a paper towel to remove any leftover bits but not the grease daddy came into the kitchen with his hair all over the place. He was barely awake this morning as he reached for his morning cup of coffee. He had just had his first sip when I ambushed him from behind with a quick hug.

"Morning daddy!" I say in my best girly girl voice.

"Smorning princess" daddy mumbled out of his coffee cup as he was taking his first drink. Then he turned around after I let him go. I stood back and put both my hands behind my back and gave him my best smile. It was a bit of a surprise to see his eyes widen enormously. He even coughed a bit when he inhaled his coffee from the cup. I was very lucky to catch his cup before he made a mess on the both of us and led him to a chair where I slapped him on the back till he was able to breath normally. I knew I looked pretty this morning but I was mystified as why he was reacting this way.

"Daddy is something wrong?"

"B..B...Belle you look uhh.." I smiled since I knew he thought I was pretty and preened with my arms behind me even though I was still in the apron.

"I even made us breakfast like the good girl I am daddy." tell me I'm pretty please..

"Well yes and you are a good uh girl..I .. I ...I'm going to get your mother and sister to enjoy your wonderful breakfast before it gets cold.... you .. I'll.. SALLY!!" daddy thundered out the last part which kinda spooked me a little. Something is wrong, I did something wrong. I couldn't help it as tears formed in my eyes. I had tried so hard.

"Oh sweetie don't..just stay here and uhn.. just stay." and with that daddy almost ran out of the kitchen and flew up the stairs. I heard a few words as he was not that quiet and neither was mother with her "WHAT". I knew I did something wrong. I was sitting in a chair sniffling as mother came into the kitchen in just her nighty without her usual robe. It was a pretty nightie but it felt so unfair. Sam and I would have gotten into so much trouble to come down to breakfast like that. Still...

"Morning mother. Look I made a nice breakfast for us before I have to go to school. Did I do something wrong daddy seems funny this morning?"

"B...Be... Uh....Yes you did very well young m...lady.. oh god.. it's uh.. your going to go to school? Dressed like that? Whaa..."

"Mommie your scaring me." again my tears started again. I can help it I'm a girl they just start and stop for no reason.

"Oh sweetie" and she hugs me tightly. I feel better almost instantly. As we hug I hear daddy come into the room with heavy steps. I notice that Sam is in his arms with big eyes too. Daddy places her in a chair so I release mother and get her some utensils before sitting down beside her to cut up her egg and sausage. Soon they are enjoying my breakfast, with a few compliments on it, but they are staring at me the whole time. I must have done something wrong with my makeup this morning. When breakfast is finished, I didn't eat everything weight you know, mother helped me do the few dishes. While we did the dishes in the kitchen daddy got Sam her chair and placed her into it.

"I should finish getting ready for school. Ms. Barnes won't like it if I'm late." I said this while folding away my apron, which seems to take me far longer than normal.

"Belle honey I don't think you will be going to school today."

"But Mother! I have to go and help the other girls to get the school ready for tonight's charity function!" I pout as I say this. It's really important that I go. Why is she saying I should stay home?

"Belle honey come to the living room and sit down. There is a few things we need to talk about."

All characters, the story and or parts there of are the sole property of the author.

"I know I did something wrong" I muttered to myself under my breath. I can't believe...now where did that come from?

"Here Bi..ellle have a seat on the couch beside me." I sat beside mother being careful to keep my knees together and not show off my panties.

"I'm sorry."

"Oh honey this is not your fault. If anyone is to blame it would be me."

"No Sally I am just as much to blame.."

"Dan not now."

"Yes dear." wow dad is so cowed. Awesome mom strike one for our side!

"Belle honey what do you remember from yesterday?"

"I went to school and Sam came to our deportment class where Ms Barnes as trying her best to get me to walk just right. There was a interesting lecture from the teacher on... I can't remember her name! Why can't I remember her name she is my teacher!" I started to panic.

"Easy Belle sweetie! It's okay don't worry about Mrs. Reacher's name for now. What happened after school?"

"You and daddy came to pick us up and took us to Sam's appointment with the doctor Brune...no that's not right... Doctor Brown yes that's his name. After the appointment we came home." It was hard to think and my head was starting to hurt. I just need to go to ...

"Mother I really should get to school to help the other girls..." I started to get ready to stand when mom pulled me into a hug. Hugs are nice I missed them. Why did I miss them?

"Easy Belle. The appointment was for you. What happened at the appointment?"

"I... He said... that my hormones were all mixed up and...he said something about maybe cancer or our diet... He said it was.." I pulled away from mom."This is your fault?" My head is getting worse I need to go to school I got gym today...

"What else happened?"

"I ...we... I yelled at you and left the clinic.. Dad came to rescue me I think. He threated to spank me on my panties for being a bad b...girl.."My head is really throbbing now..

"Go on please."

"We came...to find you in the car ..I realized I hurt you and we hugged and ..I fell asleep in your lap.. Please I need to go to school!" I almost shouted the last part. My head is really bad and ...

"Continue honey."

"We ... you took me...the tv station and we met with Nathan Peters father of ...what is her name?"

"Bethany there is more."

"Yes there is but my head really hurts now mom. He was to apologize to me publicly over the tv and him , the station would write me a formal letter.. I guess I was taken to this neat room with makeup and costumes and.. I was returned my now neatly pressed uniform and she fixed my makeup. I never looked so girly before she is really amazing." My voice had changed it had gone down a level or something.

"What happened in the broadcast room Bill?" Dad asked me.

"I was busy watching them get ready. Did you know they did the show live each time? I didn't and that's not a real window its all done with a blue screen and.."

"That's nice dear but something happened." It did? My head feels ready to explode now. Tears from pain started to spill from my eyes.

"The receptionist lady came and spoke to Mr. Peters just before I was to move to the duct tape. His face went white and he almost passed out before he burst in the worst tears I have ever heard. The the evil woman told the other girl Wendy and she burst into tears. The manager talked to them both and a few others before writing on some blank cue cards. He ..." This must be what is so bad. I hold my hands to my forhead to somehow keep my head from exploding. "He asked me to read from the cards. I guess since I was the only guy left with stage makeup on he was desperate or something. It was just a few cards so not really that hard.." The cards are blank I can't see them .. owwwww...

"We saw it from the waiting room. You said to everyone.."

"She ...NOOO!" I wailed as the tears gushed forth. Not her no please god not her!

"Bethany died sweetheart and they made you tell everyone."

"I know! God it hurts, why her? She was so sweet and caring. No girl or boy that young should.." I wailed with yelling trying to get the pain out. Mom shifted and Sammie who was also gushing tears held me with her one arm and we cried and cried. I did not see either mom or dad leave.

I lead Dan out of our home to the car. We really needed to talk. My baby is in so much pain! The walk to the car helped as it usually does. I can almost feel that stupid mini skirt and the dumb heels. Pop goes the doors and we slide into the back seat. My my..now this is the perfect time for a nice cuddle. I so want him..down girl! Bill remember!

"Dan we need to get Bill some professional help." I know this is uncomfortable for him. I wish he would tell me why.

"Sally! You know how I feel about those fuckers. Bill seems to be over the worst of the shock now. He just needs.."

"Dan! That was not my son this morning! That was a girl through and through! This is wrong it's killing him!" it's doing a good number on me too come to think of it.

"Sally it will be alright you'll see.."

"NO! Daniel Matthew Thorne! I love you with all my heart but this ..this is my Baby your talking about! He needs real help! I'll take him if you wont!"

"NO don't...I can't.. she will hurt him even more and I don't want to lose him.." He is really shaking. I have never seen Dan like this ever. There is..

"Dan..DAN!! Look at me honey! What happened? You have to tell me as your hurting our son!" Tears fall from my eyes and to hell with the neighbors. Of course in just my naughty nightie with no panties on and .. Down girl focus!

"I...Haven't thought of this.. It's been... it's amazing how I can still feel it like it was just yesterday.." he started. I got close to him and wiggled into his lap. He needs this.

"Tell me."

The old man was supposed to come home next weekend. Ma and both my sisters are kneeling around me with pins and sewing needles while my younger brat sister Patty sat at the Kenmore waiting for them to take the stupid dress off me. I was so gonna kill her for that smile.

"You look so pretty Daniella!"

"JUDY!"

"Sorry momma." at least her smile disappeared. It was bad enough that I was standing there with a bra over my tshirt stuffed with socks so that the women could get the finishing touches of the dress they were helping mom make. I knew she was excited about going out with da for their anniversary. I even offered to help as Tabby almost killed herself standing on the books last weekend.

Judith was still pouting about not being able to be with Rick. Women! She acted like it was life for death for her to go out with him! Patty is not able to with that brace still on her left leg. The doctor's say that her leg is almost long enough to not need it so maybe soon one day my baby sis will be able to walk without a limp from one leg being a little shorter than the other.

I had sat there reading my comic book while my computer was still out being fixed. I guess that shareware version of Wolfenstien 3d was bad for it. Still it's like the coolest game ever! I don't think anyone will be able to top that for a long long time.

So there I was sitting in my old jeans with my leg over the side of the chair when in storms Judith followed by mom. Judith is wearing an even shorter tight black skirt that leaves nothing to the imagination at all. Kinda sexy when I think about it. Her stripped topless tube top showing all her sexy delicious curves to the world. The gogo thigh high boots don't thrill me. Now maybe if she wore some of those stick high high black strappy heels like Melissa does on page 14 of my Hustler under my matress..

"You are not to set foot out of this house dressed like some hooker young lady!"

"Mom all the girls wear this now! And I'm not dressed like a hooker!"

"You are dressed like a cheap call girl and all our nieghboors will think I have raised a tramp! You go to your room and get changed this instant!" ma is really hitting the high notes now. Judith go change or when da gets home your gonna need a pillow to sit down for a week. She didn't of course but they had moved to the hallway. The screams actually rattled the lamp beside me as I tried to shut them out.

Judith is the closest of my sisters to ma in size but she is pouting. I don't blame her really the little girl pink dress is not something I would be caught dead in if I was in her shoes. Where ma got that I have no idea but she has one for each of my sisters. It's funny as when da gets home and sees one of them in the poofy dress he gives them a look and they turn to pieces and cry for hours. He rarely ever spanks any of us but really once is all that was needed with that military hard belt of his. Ive had it twice and never want to have it again.

I got tired of the argument about the stupid dress and stupidly said "Fine ill wear the dammed thing just get it done!" hence why I stand here with my pants rolled up my legs. The old belt holding in my waist is a little painful but not too bad. Not sure where mom got that and really I don't want to know.

So there I stood while they worked at the dress when the doorbell rang. I almost ran out of there to my room but since the dress zips in the back I couldn't very well get out of it myself. Of course we all looked to the front room window were we would vaguely see someone standing at the door through the old curtains mom put up while the normal ones were in the dryer. From the orange color to the plaid hem you can tell they are from the 70s. Even mom hated them although Grandma loved them. We could all make out something of a sound from mom though.

Tabitha the smart one in the family if a little overweight was closest to the door and it was she who caught mom. We rushed to help me included. In the doorway was two military brown dress uniforms. I knew instantly what that meant. Anyone who has ever watched tv knows what that means. Did I accept it well no. I mean da was a mechanic for crying out loud! Not a front line man. I almost missed the woman in the similar uniform standing behind them and to this day wished that she had missed me.

Her name was Doctor Pamela Wisen. She is a military psychologist that specializes in grief counseling. Or so she thinks. She somehow got the worst idea that I was in the dress on purpose and had been getting a talking to by my family for being caught.

It was a very hard time for me dealing with the loss of da and this bitch who kept referring to me as Daniella for all 6 sessions. I refused to see her and wanted someone else. Which I got but he thought the same thing as her but tried to cure me of my cross dressing. I eventually ran away before I got sent to another brain farter. I swore then that I would never let a child of mine ever be hurt by one of these quacks ever.

"Oh Dan! I'm so sorry but not all of them are like that. They can't be!"

"I know you should be right but I can't shake the impression and well with what Bill is going through it awoke what I thought.." I couldn't help it I had to get him to stop. So I kissed him! Gods that feels so good!

"I'm sorry Dan I love you more than I can bear but I'm still gonna take Bill to see someone. Maybe Doc Brown knows some qualified person. You trust him don't you?"

"Yeah maybe, it had gone a bit far I guess. I just don't know what to.." And for the first time in a long time I saw my strong husband become that young man that got hurt so much. I just held him as he cried.

Lil Jaci stopped typing on her pink Barbie laptop. She pushed her chair back to get up her little brown skirt had a crinkle or two but she didn't care. Once in the bathroom she sat on the toilet and cried.

I can't believe this happened to me.

From what Sam was telling me I was acting like a very girly girl without a trace of boy in me all morning. Strangely I have no memory of some of what she said. I had to believe her as the makeup on my face was a total mess if a bit crude. The fact that I was in the uniform again was a bit of a eye opener as I hadn't noticed it.

My first instinct was to run upstairs and wash the crap off my face along with putting on some normal clothes. I did but for some reason I did not wear socks nor did I change my hair or underwear. A comfy pair of jeans and a sweater, no not one of those itchy wool things, a simple university sweater of some type. The uniform was laying hell bent all over the floor of my room and I didn't care a wink. Not that I would need it today. The butler's costume was on the back of my door. Black pants, white shirt with buttons on the wrong side, offwhite bow tie and a tan vest. There was a tailed blazer as well but I could not see any sign of buttons.

Aside from the shirt whose buttons were hidden anyways by a flap of fabric the rest looked perfectly normal for a guy to wear. Add my black and uncomfortable unbending dress shoes and I would be a dashing male butler. I thought about trying it on before hand but decided against it. One thing I did notice was that the black fabric was a dead on match for that black skirt I acquired at Edna's. Spooky to say the least as it made me believe that although cut in a male pattern the costume may be made of more feminine materials.

As I walked by my dresser to the door I saw the makeup that Barb had given me and had this really strong urge to put on some mascara and lippy. I resisted it but the urge was there. I got me to thinking about what Sam had said. Along with what others had been saying to me last week and this one. Was I really that much of a girl naturally? I knew I didn't want to be one. That I was certain of. However was Belle a real part of me that had developed somehow into a person all on her own? Was I going completely nuts? I couldn't answer these questions. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I needed to know.

The strangest question was did I really have to be male or female? Could I not be some sort of both as needed? Why not. Really why couldn't I be? Yeah mom and dad would be freaked a bit not to mention my extended family but now that my Belle side had woken up I had the strangest feeling that it would not go back to sleep either.

I contemplated this all the way back to the living room couch where Sam was trying to reach a cup of juice on the table. I rushed to help her and gave her the cup.

"Feeling better?"she asked.

"Yeah a little. Sam I don't look to girly do I?"

"Sorta." she said while looking at me.

"Sorta?"

"Well from the hair, face, and breasts you do, however your movements are all male. Then there is your voice."

"My voice?"

"Yeah it's like neither one or the other right now."

"Huh?"I'm confused.

"Well this morning you were doing my little girl happy daddy voice. Now its passable as a boys voice since its flat."

"So my normal voice." phew that's a relief.

"No."What!

"Bill your voice is more in the middle. I can't explain it more than that. Somehow it really suits you."

"What do you mean it suits me?" I think I knew the answer to this but I hoped it wasn't that.

"Well it's more like it used to be before it changed." Shit it is that.

"Uh.. well.." stupid mouth shutup!

"Okay now that begs me to ask. Spill it already." Sam is not one to wait.

"That's because this is my.. oh nevermind it's not important."

"What's not important young man?" oh shit when did mom come back in.

"Bill..." Dad has that look in his eyes.

"I just wanted to fit in." see all said all done now leave me alone.

"Continue." dad man of few words but you get it quick. Come to think of it Sam is the same way.

"Well I kinda sorta learned to speak with a more manly voice to not get left out."

"So your voice never changed?" mom asked while looking at me with her head tilted slightly to the side.

"It did! You and everyone just didn't notice. Nobody noticed! I was getting treated like a little kid and had to do something. So I tried to speak like dad except that didn't work. Eventually I settled on this voice." which was the one I normally used while not super deep like dad it was deep enough so that people knew I was male. I guess all that practicing with working my voice is what led to me being able to mimic people.

"Bill we would have loved you the same there was no need to put on.." amazing how parents can speak the same words at the same time.

"That's not it! Don't you get it people were thinking I was Sam's little sister! I'm a guy dammit not a girl!" There now leave it alone! I glared at my parents. I should have glared at Sam too.

"How's that working for you Belle?" she said with this smirk on her face. I knew she said Belle just to get my goat. I hate to admit it but she is sorta right. Okay she is right dammit! This has not been working out. Instead of people sometimes mistaking me for a girl, they now thought it all the time instead. I crumpled against the back of the couch I hadn't realized I had sat down on again.

"Why can't I be a normal boy? Is that just to hard to ask?" I brought my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them.

Mom's whole face changed in an instant from one of puzzlement and anger to one of love. It hurt but in a good way as she glided towards me and hugged me. Sam shifted on the couch and also gave me a hug one armed. Dad well he wanted too you could see it but he held himself back.

"Bill I.. Let me try that again." mom was trying to talk to me about something but I wasn't sure what yet."God gave each of his children free will but he also set each of us a task to overcome. For each of us that task is different. It may be that you are meant to, sometimes, be Belle for certain things. I'm not saying you should or should not be Belle but it seems that Belle is a real part of you. I.."she looked down at this"I think you need to see someone like a therapist or even a psychologist maybe." She looked to dad when she said this. Which happened to make me look and I caught a glimpse of something in his face. I don't know what this is but it's something. He turned and left to go outside with a mutter of paper or something. We do not have a subscription for a newspaper so it can't be that.

Mom showed me how to wash your face and pat it dry before putting in a drop or two of Visine in each eye to reduced the tender swelling from crying so much. Which helped and soon our eyes were back to normal..mostly. She kept me busy with little things like once again helping Sam get ready. However instead of just makeup she and Sam also showed me a few things about choosing an outfit. I know deep down this is more of a girls thing but I can also see how this would help me as a whole. My first pick of a plain black tshirt to go with Sam's long wrap skirt didn't award me brownie points. We kinda laughed about it too after I got it, it took me over an hour I'm sure, but get the idea I did.

Dad came home with a lunch treat for us all of two veggie meat pizza's. There is this pizzeria in town where the Italian guy, he really is from Italy, makes his own sausages and sauces with his Grecian wife. They had us try a number of their veggie peperoni sausages along with a number of other customers till they got the recipe just right. It's made with soy meal and a couple of plants that I cannot remember the name of. It tastes pretty good, and from what I'm told, better than the real thing. He says it requires him to cook a pizza a different way but then again his pizza's are like nothing else around either. The only part of the pepperoni sausage that has just a touch of meat so to speak is the wrapper. If you don't know sausages are made in intestines from animals. I have heard of non animal versions that are tried, usually paper of some type but these are only good for smoked sausages.

Still it makes a very good pizza and we all chow down. Mom starts to correct me to eat more like a lady before she says sorry and we laugh a little. I did slow down and not inhale the pizza but that's about it. Dad had gotten a paper while he was there and was flipping through it reading when his pizza slice slipped from his fingers. This made us get up to look at the paper on the table infront of him. I could see even upside down a picture of a St Mary's school girl from where I was.

"Hey who's the babe in the skirt?" I asked dad. He looked up and turned the paper around to show me a better view. I can see why he dropped his pizza. That cute babe was in fact me!

Local schoolgirl steps up to plate on small screen

The young actress Belle Thorne made her television debut when the cast and crew of our local station received shocking news. Bethany Peters, daughter of Nathan and Mary Peters, died yesterday after a long hard battle from Leukemia. Funeral services are to be held tomorrow on the 14th for little Bethany on her 10th birthday. Friends and family have reported that she was quite sad in the hospital where she had been staying under care until young Belle had brought joy into her small life. We do not know yet if young Ms. Thorne will be attending the service. The service is to be done by invite only and is not open to the public.

Continued page 11. I finished my drooping piece of pizza but it tasted like cardboard.

"Well it's a good thing I don't have an invitation to go to it as I don't have a single decent dress to wear." I said in light humour to lighten the mood.

DING DONG! Nuuuu it's the front door!

"I can't believe I'm doing this...again!" I sighed.

"You've gone dress shopping before?" asked Sammie with a tilt and puzzled look on her face. Come to think of it mom does the same thing.

"No! Last time it was bra shopping and I ended up in a skirt and flats." I looked down at the floor of the car as I said that.

"I'm sure you looked so pretty Belle!" Sam teased as she sat beside me in the back seat. Dad had elected to not come. I wanted to stay with him but..

"Mom why do I have to wear this junk? For that matter why am I even coming? You have my sizes you said just run in get a stupid black dress run out."

It started yesterday when a telegram, yes you can still get those, guy rang the doorbell. Turns out he was from the family of the Peters. I still remember that guy as I stood there with my mouth open.

"Is this the house of one Ms. Belle Thorne?" he asked me as I stood there. Since the only two people in the house dressed decently were Sam and myself. Mom had on her robe and dad was still wearing his sweatpants that he wears to bed.

"I..I..I...I.. yeah sorta maybe."smooth words I know. I should have slammed the door in his face.

"Belle who is it?" Mom called totally ruining it for me. The guy who never gave me his name put a small whistle into his mouth then did that me me me thing. He didn't sing but he had a great voice.

"Ms Thorne and family are hereby invited to attend the wake of Ms. Bethany Peters on the morrow at Kalstien's funeral chapel at 2 pm. Semi formal attire would be appreciated." with that said he gave me a salute before giving me the card with that exact thing written on it. I stood there in a daze as he walked to what looks mostly like a postmans truck and drove away. I finally got my head together and shut the door before bringing the card to the table. On the back was listed our family's names except mine was Belle instead of Bill.

Immediately mom and Sam started to discuss what they would wear while dad pour himself a cup of coffee with a little extra courtesy of the locked china cabinet. I don't know what the bottle was but it did say cream. I just sat there looking blankly between the paper where a very girly me was in the news and the invitation. Dad interrupted mom at one point about what I would wear when it suddenly got quiet.

"Uhm Bill dear what do you want to wear?" Id rather not go period but I guess that isn't really an option. I looked at the paper then down at my chest where even under the loose sweater you could tell I had small boobs. Not a manly chest at all. I looked up again and held up the paper with my picture.

"Do I really have a choice?" Sam looked guilty. Dad winced. Mom opened and closed her mouth a few times before she decided on an answer.

"Soo...we need to do some quick shopping. Dan check the car while I help get the girls ready."

"Mom! Son remember!"I whined.

"Are you sure?" She asked me with the look. Yeah that look that makes you feel about the size of a bug with something all over you. Point taken.

"Fine but don't make me look stupid."

"Fat chance of that lil sister. We will have so much fun you'll see!" Sam gushed while pulling on my arm. Meaning take me upstairs to my room. I couldn't wait till she could use crutches.

"Belle.. pssst Belle knees.. Belle!" my reverie was broken by Sam who was hissing at me. I looked down at my nylon encased knees to see them apart in my normal relaxed position. Ie a foot apart. I shifted and put my knees together. The loose denim skirt wasn't bad nor was my makeup, I never thought I would say that and mean it was makeup of my own not .. forget that. Where was I oh yes, it wasn't the skirt or my flats that bothered me. It was the stupid top with the wide neck that exposed one bra strap letting everyone know I was wearing a black one. How embarrassing. Mom and Sam had conned me into it. They said it would be easier to take on and off between stores as we shopped since I was looking for a dress. Gods how many boys have to go shopping for a dress for a funeral? Really I want to know! Wonder if there is a internet sight that keeps count?

I guess I'd been lost in thought longer than I guessed at first because we were pulling into the huge parking lot of the mall. I thought briefly of trying to hide in the backseat before anyone saw me then thought about the stupid tv thing, everyone had already seen me as Belle in one form or another so there was no point. Did I have a scowl on my face? You bet! Mom pulled the car into place after driving around the lot a few times to find the closest parking space to the doors available. I never understood why women do this everytime. Just park in the first spot you see that's open and get out. By the time you find a spot you could have walked into the bloody mall already.

No sooner had she parked that I got out. No I did not swing my legs first like a lady I was far to upset for that. I stood at the back of the car to get Sam's wheelchair out of the trunk waiting for mom to pop it. She did finally and I reached in to grab it overbalancing myself in the process and almost falling into the trunk when I fell someone steady my hips from behind. I looked over my should to thank the person when I saw who it was.

"What the fuck do you want? And why are you not at school?" it was Jason.

"Fii haff a fenfal affoinffenf." he replied with this lopsided grin on his face.

"A what?" blink blink go ahead and tell me if you understood that. I sure as heck didn't. I could see him strain his face a little.

"I fad a fental apfointment at the fentist. Fozen fip." Ohhhh. Yeah the frozen lip makes it hard to speak.

"Fet me gef fat." Translation Let me get that.

" I don't need your help thanks." Thus saying I reached in again, somewhat better and lifted the chair to the edge of the trunk for a better grip when Jason just pulled it out of my hands and opened in up.

"Four fairyot afate mifady!" He gestured with a flourish and a bow. I slammed the trunk closed and wheeled it to the side of the car where mom was already getting Sammi out.

"Thanks but its for Samantha now piss off." the nerve of that guy! I mean really he just pisses me off so much!

"Young lady no language like that! Say your sorry to the nice gentleman!" mom was mad. In more ways than one.

"But mom...."

"No! Apologize right now!" I looked down at the ground and turned around to see that the asses shoes were of course right behind me.

"Sorry about the you know. And uh thanks for getting Sam's chair out."

"Fo foblem"and he is still going with the half frozen mouth grin from ear to ear. It was then I realized that I probably looked way to Belle for him. The realization also sent me hiding behind mom before I knew I did it. Why was I hiding from him to begin with? I'm a guy! I shook my head and helped a very amused Sammi to get set in her wheelchair.

"Not a word! Not one word Sam I mean it!" I growled under my breath at Sam.

"But you look so cute as a .."

"Shut it! Not one word you can keep him! Actually..." lets try this Belle thing on the poor smuck. So with a coy look and a bit of body movement ,courtesy of watching Sam do so with dad a few times, I gave him a pouty look.

"Jason would you be a dear and push Sam around for us while we shop please." I laid on the drippy girly gushie voice while I did it. Mom and Sam both snickered with barely kept giggles as I did it. Well it worked I think he stood there with his mouth open and his eyes wide before he nodded his head. Somehow I think this may come back to haunt me but what the hell these darn flats will kill my ankles if I have to push Sammi around all afternoon. Why do I feel so guilty then as he takes the handles of Sam's chair and pushes a giggling Sam all the way into the mall.

"So what store we going too? Lets get this farce over and done with." I snarl to mom. She smiles back at me with this smile that is just weird.

"We will start at the first and go along till we find the right one of course."she smiles at me.

"But I only need one simple dress for one time funeral after that Belle is gone mom."

"Silly girl! You have a lot to learn young padawan." with that she takes off leaving me standing there with my mouth open.

"I'm not a girl!" I yell after mom before I move after her swing my hips back and forth with a straight back as I follow her into what I just know will be hell.

Lil Jaci pushes herself back from the barbie laptop giggling to herself.

"Oh this is gonna be sooo good!"

"What's gonna be good Jaci?" Dottie asks as she walks into her room barbie case in hand.

"Just a story I'm working on. Oh shall I get my barbie out too?"

"Please Jaci I.. I .. let's play please?" Dottie says with tears at the edges of her eyes. Jacilynn gets up after posting her story quickly and goes to her sister and gives her a hug.

"Sure lets go play in the living room. I get to be the princess this time though and you the maid!"

"Uhh uhha I'm the princess!" Dottie says to Jaci as she grabs her doll case from beside the vanity and goes to the door. She doesn't say anything as she steps out of the door. Leaving Dottie standing there for a sec before she moves after her.

"Jaci I wanna be the princess!" She says again.

"Naaa naaah I'm prettier so I get to be the princess!"

"Tante! Jaci is not playing nice!"Dottie yells.

I can't beli... sigh nevermind.

I never had any idea that girls had this whole routine on finding the 'perfect dress'. I have to think of it more as a planned pursuit of the fox the dog can't catch. We started at one end of our mall. The mall is a single main floor with Sears at one end and The Bay at the other with various stores and businesses in between. The basement has 2 more retail places, an insurance place and a medical doctor. Beside that is the bowling alley with the archaic arcade. No really its old they have pinball machines that work, a Mrs. Pacman, some cd shooting game with the one controller always broken all in a room that is smaller than my bedroom. Beside that is another room with 2 pool tables then the bowling alley that does not rent out shoes. Ive played the games there more times than I can count.

The main concourse has one restaurant that used to be a Salisbury House but got bought out years ago and is now just called Sals. Yeah so original. The most popular place in the whole mall is the comic book/ gamers paradise called Geeks. They frown upon people reading comics before you buy them. Spent a fair amount of time in there as well as sitting outside at the folding tables where you can get into a good game of Magic The Gathering if you got a good deck. I wish I had my deck and could play as it would be way more fun than this.

We started in Sears and didn't find much as the store is kinda small being mostly a catalog store. You order from a catalog and pick it up later. There is a few clothes mostly underwear, mom says I need more after we get the dress though I have no idea why. The Bay had a few nice dresses and I thought we would be done but nope apparently not. We tried some of the smaller stores but the dresses they had were more for other looks. Sam tried to get me to try on a khaki skirt but I refused. This didn't stop the one sales lady from trying to get me to purchase some other outfits. Mom mollified the girl saying we may be back later to get the outfits.

I hope she was just saying that and not meaning it. I really don't need any girls clothes though the black jeans I saw in the boys isle at one store I thought would be good but the salesman there said they wouldn't fit a girl like me properly when I looked and instead directed me to the same thing, mostly, on the girls side. This didn't stop mom and Sam from trying on this or that outfit, and putting me in some even though I had no interest at all, it was like mom was a kid in a candy store.

Eventually we made it Clara's boutique. It's a mostly fancy dress store, bridal, prom, ball gowns that sort of thing which is why we passed it a few times. Off to the one side was a selection of somber dresses. I guess that even for a funeral women want to look fashionable. Mom and Sam attacked the racks pulling out dress after dress as Jason and I stood back. Even though the dress was for me to wear I was quite happy to not get involved. Mom did call me forth to lay this or that dress against me along with Sam. A few I said no to right away. The skimpy black skintight dress with a single shoulder strap was a definite no although from the look I caught on Jason's face he would now dream about me in that stupid thing. Thankfully the sales lady kicked him out of the store after that. It was just creepy the way he kept looking at me.

After Mom and sis had picked out 6 or 7 dresses for me to try and two each for them we were led to the back of the store to the larger changeroom. Thus I got to see my mother and sister in there underwear while we helped each other get changed. Mom and Sam found that they liked the one dress style they found that was in both their sizes. The one they decided for me was similar enough. I stood there with my arms folded over each other. I made it plain I was not enjoying this at all. Not that mom put up with it for long as she slapped my arm to put them down at my side and twirl. I felt so stupid it was not funny. They tried to get me to try two other dresses on but I put my foot down.

"This one will do right?"

"Well yes Belle it's nice but you should really try.." mom began.

"Fine lets get it and get this done with I'm tired of this crap."

"Belle language!"

"I'm BILL remember mom!"

"Oh ...right.. we are done." she said sheepishly. She forgot again. I just rolled my eyes. Sam giggled of course. I took off the dress and tossed it at mom before I turned and walked out of the changeroom. The saleslady who had been outside the entire time stopped me before I had walked more than three feet out of the change room.

"Ms. Thorne you seem to have forgotten something." she said while holding up her hand in front of me. I looked down to see my self clad in black bra, black panties, and tan nylons. Opps forgot to get dressed first.

"Uh..thanks."

"Not to worry my dear but if it was not for the news I would swear you are an regular attractive girl Ms. Thorne. Welcome to the fair sex my dear. Have you decided on a dress for the Peter's funeral?" I went a little pale at that revelation. Being recognized has it's downside. I said yes so she followed me back into the changeroom where Mom was helping Sam who was leaning against the wall being supported by her good leg to check the fit of the dress they had decided on. The saleslady, whose name happens to Ms. Smyth with a Y not an I thank you very much, call me Pam, walked over to help mom and Sam. I got told to support Sam and they did a few remarks of take in this or that. I zoned out truthfully before I was directed to put back on the dress I had tossed to mom earlier. I was also twirled around and had the dress pulled here and there. They talked behind my back as I stood there with my arms held out straight from my sides.

When I was finished I got changed back into the skirt and top while they got a very tired Sam changed and into her chair. I pushed her out into the store proper while they finished with whatever they were doing back there with Mom's dress this time. We waited for mom and Pam to make an appearance.

"Thank you Bill."

"Sure no problem. Uh what am I being thanked for?"

"Retail therapy is just what I needed." Sam said as she yawned and melted into her chair. This gave me time to ponder what retail therapy was. Nope no clue.

"What is retail therapy?" silence.

"Sam?" still no answer so I walked around to the front of her chair which took a bit as I had to go around a rack of bridal gowns. When I did, I saw a site I rarely get to see. A smiling Sammie with her head tilted to the side. Of course the arm cast and chair kinda ruined the picture but still it was a genuine Saskatchewan Seal Skin Binding smile. Now where did that saying come from. I pondered this with my finger under my chin for a bit. Oh well it will come to me eventually. Still she looks so cute like that its hard to not smile in return, darn dust in my eyes again.

Mom and Pam eventually emerged on the far side of Sam's chair deep in conversation before I could navigate back around the racks of dresses, I got lost, and found them.

"...be ready at about 5 pm. I'll put a rush on it for you as I know you and your girls wanna look perfect for tomorrow."

"Thanks Pam. Are you sure though I feel I should pay you for your time.."

"Think nothing of it my dear! Having you Belle and Samantha advertizing for me is more than thanks enough." Advertizing? What advertizing?

"Moooooommm?"

"Hi Belle you wouldn't believe our good fortune. Pam here has agreed to give us a discount on our dresses because your so well known! Isn't that wonderful! Say thank you to Ms. Smyth dear for your dress. Sam?" She just did a little snore so I put my finger over my mouth.

"Uh thank you Pam."I blushed while looking at the floor. Why did I just do that? I'm a guy! Why would I even thank someone for a dress I shouldn't need or want to wear? I need some serious gaming to cure me of these girly habits. Maybe a buzz cut? Nah last time I got a sunburn on my head.

Mom paid for our dresses and said she would be back around 5 to pick them up. I was still puzzling the thoughts when I pushed a sleeping Sammi out of the store falling into old habits. I was surprised when there was no Jason waiting for us. Not that I have feelings for him, well bad ones, but I figured since he was all but drooling earlier getting rid of him would be a lot harder. Thank goodness for small miracles. Mom of course wanted to go shopping for more stuff ie shoes and lingerie. I asked why since these shoes would be fine, meaning my flats, when mom gave me this look like I was insane or something. With a sigh I followed her into the Payless shoe store where after trying on 6 different pairs of black shoes with heels in various heights, and warding off mom and the saleswoman's insistence on extra shoes we left with a still sleeping Sammie. Us a bit poorer and mom looking a little put out that I only got the one pair of black velvet 1 in spike heels. I'm sure I broke some sort of girl rule by doing that but hey I'm not a girl.

Sammie did wake up when we hit the bump in the doorway of Sears to go get some lingerie. The looks I got when I asked why I couldn't just wear one of their slip things was bad, really bad. I hung my head and followed along as I knew at that point whether I wanted some or not I was getting more girly underwear. Mom even bit her lower lip when I asked how we were paying for all this stuff. I didn't get a real answer but I somehow got the impression that this could cause problems in the future.

"Felle!"

"Eeeeeek!" I so did not just scream like a girl! It was just a reaction to being surprised any guy would do the same. So much for being rid of him.

"Well hello again Jason and uh?" mom started which made me turn around. Standing beside Jason was this expensive looking woman. I mean she looks expensive, her clothing fit just so and everything about her just radiated class. I felt like I was dirty somehow just looking at this woman.

"I'm Jasmine Striker. Young Jason here is my favorite nephew and godson." I could almost see her grabbing his cheek with her hand but she didn't.

"Fanty fiss is Felle's mofher and fif is her fister."

"Hi"

"Pleased to meet you" mom has this look like why are you talking to us. I can sympathize really!

"An fiss is Felle." that rat said while pointing at me.

"So this is the girlfriend you got pregnant?" Oh shit!

I can't believe the nerve of that woman!

"I'm not his girlfriend!"I'm not even equipped to be his girlfriend. I stood there fuming and folded my arms across my chest, well under it but you get the idea.

"Oh so your his fiancee then! At least you have a head on those shoulders Jason. So have you picked out a dress to wear yet? I know the perfect place to find you the best wedding gown, my treat even! A pretty girl like you needs just the right.."

"He is my son!" Yeah mom you tell her!

"Who is your son? The best man? Oh well I'm sure we can find just the right suit for him too..."

"No Belle is my son."Mom has this look on her face like she wants to cut this woman a new one. Woot girl fight all we need is some mud and white t shirts! Maybe not this is my mom. Then again it always looks so interesting on tv. Jason's Aunt gave my mom this look like she is crazy.

"Madame Thorne while you may think your daughter wishes to be a boy I can tell she is still your daughter, a bit of a tomboy maybe but still very much a girl. I do not follow all that trans crap and believe that a girl born should remain a girl. Belle is your daughter no matter how much you may want to believe that she is a boy she is a girl." I have to say something this is going nuts.

"But..."

"No Belle you have to accept the fact that you are and always will be a girl."

"But..." this time even Samantha tried.

"Fanty.." as much as I hate it even Jason is trying, what he is trying to say I have no idea.

"Belle since your my godson's fiancee I will let the matter pass for now. I see you had an abortion, pity I do not condone that either but you are a little young to be a mother yet..." this woman is completely nucking futs!" Come along Jason talking to her mother has left me with a distaste." with that she walked away. I'm sure my jaw was dragging the floor at this point.

"Forry Felle" Jason said with a sheepish look, I never got that before but I do now, before he turned and ran after his fast departing bitch of an Aunt.

"Mom."

"Yes Bill."

"What the fuck just happened?"

"Watch your language young lady, and I have no idea."

Needless to say shopping for a black slip suitable enough for the stupid dress was a blur. All I could think about was that now instead of being his pregnant girlfriend I was, apparently, his fiancee who had an abortion. I seriously wanna go back to being just a guy if for no other reason than to just pound Jason into a brick wall with my fists until I get some answers. Actually forget the answers I just wanna pound on him maybe with some of those brass knuckle things.

The ride home was filled with my thinking of various ways to take out my frustrations on Jason. Thanks to television I had plenty of different methods I found quite entertaining. I have no idea if mom or Sam said two words in the car I was so self absorbed. We got home and unloaded the bags with my new shoes and underwear after helping Sam into her chair. Mom carried the garment bags with the dresses in them that I do not even remember her going back to get. One thing though that was strange was the smell coming from the back yard. It smelled good really good whatever it was. So with bags in hand I reached over the top of the stained wooden gate going to our back yard and unlatched it.

Years ago a friend of my dads, who is a real nut about fences and all the stuff you can get for them, convinced my dad we needed to build a fence around our back yard. It's a nice wooden fence, all stained cedar wood that goes up about 5 feet where it changes into lattice work. This fence goes around the whole back yard but in the back its a section that has this huge slanted roof. The wood is cut different on the exposed beams for the roof the ends are not square cut but have a small angle on the bottom. Under that roof supported by 8 x 8 posts is a small finished deck of the same wood as the rest, all nicely stained, built around a cast iron pit that we sometimes uses for fires. There is even a black metal Chimney over the pity with one of those old v cone hoods over it at about 4 feet.

We have our gas barbeque in there for when one of dad's friends comes over. There is no tank for the barbeque as it is hooked directly into our house gas supply. The barbeque itself is an older model dad got for a deal somewhere, the grill itself is made out of cast iron in intricate patterns. The outside is made of some heavy duty stainless steel. I know the h shaped burner inside is also made out of cast iron. The heat deflector plate dad replaced with one that a friend of his specially made out of thicker metal. Basically it will last for years and never need replacing which is a good thing since the base was remade out of heavier steel, courtesy of the same guy that did the deflector plate, and doesn't move.

Dad is sitting before the grill where the delicious smell is wafting from with a beer in his hands. I try to not trip over the raised walkway we have that is made out of some salvaged limestone blocks. Dad once mentioned that a friend in a demolition company got him the blocks from some old building. A few are polished and murder in winter when you slip on the dam things. The once lush thick green grass, dads pride and joy, is now mostly brown and dying for the winter. In summer you can sink your foot into the grass and the ground under it dad waters it so much. Gone were the days when I was five and our back yard was open and grass was mostly weeds. Where the deck is now is where my old sandbox used to be. I miss that sandbox like you wouldn't believe.

The box was a box my dad made out of some railroad ties and a lot of sand. By the time we buried it I had dug up half the mud underneath into the sand so it wasn't that great anymore. Still I made roads, buildings, tunnels and forts in that thing for years. I actually shed a tear or two every time I think about it. I may not seem like much to some people but just 5 years ago I was a very happy boy who would come in every other day covered head to toe in dirt or sand. The amount of times mom yelled at me for dragging in the backyard I couldn't count.

Now look at me. I'm walking along a limestone path in a skirt, flat shoes, with makeup on and a bra that has real breast tissue in it. Off to the right side behind a half fence that the barbeque is in front of is a slightly hidden shed, also built out of the wood, where the lawn stuff is. That is where my moms small garden is as well. Our weedmachine has attachments to change it to a small tiller or edger. There was a snow broom thing that swept the snow but that broke. Looking at the garden reminded me we were supposed to dig out the potatoes last weekend but with things we all forgot. The poor plants look sad and droopy.

"Hey dad." I call out to him when I'm close enough.

"Hey cham...uh princess." Dad switches his reply as he turns to see me.

"Princess? Dad..."

"Well you don't look like a boy so calling you champ doesn't seem right Belle. Did you have fun shopping?" he tries to change subject and damn if it doesn't work too.

"No I hated it! Girl shopping sucks big time!" I sit into one of the wooden chairs with the cushions on it. It's comfy if a bit cold.

"Knees" Looking down I see my knees are apart and slam them shut, skirts are a pain in the ...

"Hey! Not you too!" traitor!

"You wear the skirt you behave the part."I think he used to say the same thing to Samantha a few years ago.

"Whatca making?" It smells so good.

"Deer ribs" oh goody..wait what?

"As in real deer? As in real meat?"

"Yep the real thing." dad doesn't turn around but he doesn't need too. Real meat like wow. A treat in a hundred different ways.

"Can I have some?" please please please.

"I dunno if my daughter should really have some as it might hurt her figure."Bummer"However my son on the other hand.." Message understood!

I ran back to the house, okay not really but moved quick stupid skirt, and tossed the shoes across the back entryway into the closet where I hope they get lost. Bags in hand I head to the stairs so I can get changed into normal clothes before mom stops me.

"Belle no running. Walk like a lady!"

"But mom! I have to get changed as dad is cooking.."

"I know what your father is cooking. Go try on your butler uniform I want to see if I need to make any adjustments before you stuff your face."

"But mom!"

"Now young lady!"

With a heavy head I head upstairs to put on the stupid costume. The skirt and top get tossed onto the bed and I get runs in the nylons as I take them off. At least it is still boy clothing I'm trying on.

The black pants take me a minute to figure out as the almost invisible zipper is in the back instead of the front. They fit a little snug especially in the crotch. The waist was a bit higher than I expected though. The shirt with the buttons on the wrong side goes on next. It's a soft finer material than my normal dress shirts. The bow tie is simple since there is a Velcro fastener in the back that goes under the starched collar. Add the snug fitting tan vest that only has loose spots around my breasts and the jacket over top and I'm done. I head downstairs to show mom.

"Mom is it supposed to be this snug?" I ask her as she starts turning around.

"Oh my!" she puts a hand to her mouth.

"What? Do I look that handsome in it?" cools Belle takes a backseat for once. Mom doesn't say anything but motions me to the mirror on the hall closet. It's a full length mirror sliding door closet that makes the entryway look a little bigger. I fully expect to see myself look like a dashing male butler.

"Ah fu..."Well the butler part is right.

I can't believe this keeps happening to me!

Here I thought that being a butler would make me look like a guy but no instead I look like a girl even more! The butler suit was tailored to hug all my curves even with the coat open like it is supposed to me. I just collapsed to the floor and started to cry I couldn't help it. It wasn't fair! Every time I try to be a guy lately fate steps in and I look more and more like a girl. I was sitting on the floor wearing pants that were far to tight to move in. I guess if I was a real girl it wouldn't have been a problem but I felt something go phweep on my lower back.

This was like the second time I ever wore girls pants that zipped in the back so I didn't notice anything till I all but ran upstairs to my room to take off the costume. I mean what else could I call it? Uniform for a guy no way! Uniform if I was a girl maybe but I'm definitely not one nor do I ever want to be one. I'm a normal guy and I like it that way!

Err almost normal the breasts, and yes I had to admit that they were breasts even to myself but don't let mom know that, gave away that I wasn't exactly like other guys. Of course having to wear a stupid bra doesn't help either.

So anyways after my panic attack I started to remove the stupid costume which I angrily tossed about my room. I couldn't seem to get the zipper to go down no matter how hard I tried. I really wanted the stupid pants off and I'm sorry to admit lost my temper and just tore the stupid thing off. The fabric is really strong so all I did was make a rats nest out of the zipper. It turns out the cheap plastic fine zipper had split on me. I wouldn't have even know that much had mom not followed me upstairs. She had been reaching to help me when I tore it. I got a bit of a lecture on that one.

"Belle how could you?"

"What mom? The stupid thing wouldn't zip down and I wanted out of this costume so I pulled."

"So typical of men!" Yes a compliment to my manhood!"However, young lady, you should be more careful with your clothes!"

"Mom I'm your son remember?" She looked at me from head to toe as I stood there in only my bra and the panties that gave me a smooth front. She did this twice before she moved to my bed and sat down. This was a bit strange even for her so I was curious and went to sit beside her.

"Be..Bill. I'm sorry! I have a bit of a hard time with all this. I was raised that girls were girls and boys were boys. Right now honey you look so much like a girl it's hard for me to see you as anything but my younger daughter. I know your really my son but I.." It was at this point I noticed that she was crying. I reached over and hugged her from the side. This had the effect of pushing my small boob against her arm.

"It's okay mom." Why did I say that? It's not okay, actually I should be totally freaking out that mom sees me as her daughter and not her son.

"No its not!" she exploded." Your my son and as your mother I should be able to see that and treat you as such. It's just everytime I see you lately all I see is a very pretty young woman. I have a really hard time to see you as a boy. I want too so bad but I can't! I have failed you as a mother!" Oh boy she is going emo. Time to get dad I'm way out of my depth here.

It did not take me long to put on a hoodie and loose jeans while mom sat on my bed sobbing away. She was using the pants as something to block me from seeing her. She didn't seem to move much otherwise except the shoulders where I can tell she was heaving in silent sobs. I hurried out of my room and down the few steps into the living room at speed, mostly because I missed a step and had to tuck and curl into a ball at the end. I didn't seem to have hurt myself aside from my tramped pride so I hurried to the back door not caring what was on my feet as I ran out to see my dad make me a small paper plate of meat.

"Hey sport nice to see my son again... Whats wrong?" He asked me as he handed me the oh so delicious smelling plate of meat. There was not much on the plate as eating real meat when your a vegetarian causes one to spend way too much time in the bathroom later when it has passed through your system. Trust me it's not a pretty sight or smell for that matter and your better off not knowing details.

"Moms freaking out in my room."I casually said while grabbing the plate of goodies.

"Fuck" Dads a man of few words. He hurriedly removed the last of the dead meat into a plastic container and closed the lid of the BBQ but left it burning. Its a good way to clean off the grill while at the same time it will keep me warm since it is a bit chilly out. Probably the last few days of warmer weather before it turns freezing cold. I sat there and enjoyed my meaty treat savoring each and every bite eating it slowly and sucking on the pieces till they fell apart in my mouth.

By the time I got back into the house with my sticky fingers dad had returned and turned off the grill while grabbing his plastic container, mom hates the smell of real meat, so he had to seal it away in the garage. Mom was a bit pale in the kitchen as I walked in, she was sipping on a cup of tea. She has this thing about tea it always has to be in a cup that looks like a flower, sorta I know bad description, but really it looks like a flower the way it curves upwards.

"Hey mom."

"Bill about earlier" clink goes the cup of tea into its saucer" I'm sorry honey. I'm so sorry.."

"Mom you once said to me" I can't believe I'm gonna give her words back to her. Then again cool!"it's water under the bridge or over the bridge or whatever. Lets just move forward. For me right now it seems to be the only thing I can do. If I think about it all too much it's overwhelming."Oh lets throw this other one in there too." After all it's a little thing that we shouldn't waste energy on."

That brought a smile to her face as she remembered how she had once told me that worrying about the little things is stupid and that all things are little things. With that she walked up to me and pulled me into a hug.

"How did you get so smart."

"Good jeans from dad though they are a bit loose on the waist."that cracked her up.

"Oh you..."another pull in for a bone crushing hug.

"Can't breath I wheezed." I didn't really have trouble but it fit to say it.

"I'm positive one day you'll grow to fill your dads jeans. Till the doctor can find out what is causing this I guess I have a part time daughter."

"Does this part time job pay well?" she cracked up again.

"Oh your so bad! But I believe my part time daughter is to make an appearance tonight in her butler uniform and should get ready with a nice bath with lots of bubbles and lotion."

"Aww mom do I have to?"

"Yes dear girls bathe more often than boys do and truthfully you stink of meat. Now hop to it young lady!" she said with a grin while giving me a pat on my behind. I didn't really want to learn or experience even more of girlhood even if it is temporary but what the hey I was kinda curious about having a bubble bath anyways. Last one I had I was a kid like maybe 5 years old.

Mom did come into the bathroom at one point and washed then conditioned my hair while I was surrounded by bubbles. The conditioner smelled faintly of some flowery scent. She left me a bottle of lotion to put on before she reminded me to wrap a towel around my chest. I had seen Sam do this a few times but I'm terrible at doing so. I eventually used my arm to keep the thing from dropping as I hurried into my room. I almost killed myself putting on the panties as I sort of tripped in them. The stupid bra was a fight that I eventually won... mostly. I'm not used to them and truthfully never want to be. Mom came in and with a few minor flicks here and there it was sitting much better. Then again she has had decades of getting to know all the tricks of bras.

Mom and even Sam spent time on working my hair into something I can only call poofy. My normally flatish hair on my head became something that looked bigger. Add the my makeup, can't believe I say that and mean it, and the pretty girl in the mirror by the name of Belle stared back. Because of what I did to the pants we, meaning mostly mom and Sam, decided that I would wear my one black skirt with black pantyhose underneath it. I also got to experience a silk slip. I got to tell you that experience was thrilling. If little bill had not been trapped behind a stiff panty panel and then pantyhose overtop he would have totally been standing at attention. It took me a while to get used to the feel and not have to run to the bathroom to try to relieve pressure if you know what I mean.

Sam insisted that I should wear heels with the outfit. I argued that I didn't need them. I lost the argument and ended up wearing a pair of Mom's sky high heels. They said it was a simple 1 1/2 heel and to stop being a baby about it. Still feels to high for me. The look on Dads face when we all come down eventually was priceless. Oh that well mom and Sam also got all dressed up in fancy dresses for the fundraiser. I didn't help them put on the dresses just helped with makeup. I did get to carry the dresses from Sam's overflowing closet back and forth a few times while she was still sitting on her vanity chair in a robe though.

Samantha's dress is a blue strapless thingy with a skirt that sticks out a bit from the hips but sitting down covers her knees. She called it fusia or something like that. Mom wore a two piece off white suit that is made of a shiny material with some faint flowers all over it. The suit pulls in at the waist and then flares out a bit to the sides over the skirt but the skirt looks fairly tight to walk in. Okay so I'm not an expert in woman's fashions or the names for them. I'm a guy what do you expect?

"Ah my three lovely ladies" dad said while raising his lower arms a bit. Mom walked up to him and gave him a peck on the cheek pushing a giggling Sam ahead of her. I was busy looking around for the third lady though before I remembered me Belle ugg.

"Are you ready for this son?" Dad asked me with a hand on my shoulder.

"No but how hard can it be?"

I can't believe...I can't believe I still can't stop saying I can't believe!

As we left the house it started snowing and worse it was snowing heavily. For some reason I had a old song going through my head. I know it's an old song cause we watch the video of it every Christmas. White Christmas, the song sung by Bing Crosby and the others I can't remember the name to at the end of the movie. I actually like the movie and the dresses the girls wear at the end. I wouldn't really want to wear one, being a guy, but they still look very fancy.

"You're Belle Thorne that did the news thing the other night aren't you?"

"Yes sir"

"Excellent and quite the pretty young lady so well mannered."

"Thank you sir Elise will show you to your table in a moment."

Here I was Bill Thorne male with a bit of a hormonal problem who by circumstance was stuck in a female butler's costume complete with skirt and black pantyhose that were slowly rolling down my stomach as the night progressed and couldn't do a darn thing about them until my break. My family was seated at one of the tables in the St. Mary's school cafeteria which had been transformed, mostly through lacy tablecloth's, into a tea/dinner room we were hosting. There was a meal to be served later but for now I was the person stuck greeting everyone. The small fact that there was a sign next to me with Little Bethany's picture glued to it proclaiming to all that the dinner, at $56 a plate, was to raise funds for the children's wing of the local hospital. The girls at the school had spent all day making the poster. It was even surrounded by a nice goldish looking wooden frame.

The girls voted that since I was the butler and they the maids, I had no say in this, that I would be the person to greet everyone. Add to this my small fame as Belle on TV and well every other person that walks through the door compliments me by name on my appearance and manners or seeing me on TV. It's actually quite embarrassing. What surprised me more than anything is people actually stopping in front of me to phone other people just to tell them where they are and who is there, namely me, I get the horrible feeling that the expected turn out of 30-40 people has already been exceeded as some of the girls are putting out additional tablecloth's over the remaining tables in the cafeteria.

Everyone is also very fancily dressed up. Women and their daughters are wearing very revealing and expensive gowns. Men are usually in suits of one sort or another. One guy was even in a tuxedo. There is people waiting white I'm at a wooden podium thing I suspect was taken from a church as its wide. There is another smaller one with a guest book where people sign in while the Head Mistress Ms. Bain is busy taking peoples money after they write down the donated amount and giving receipts, apparently for tax purposes, where she stuffs the donations into a nice oak box with the label "Donations" on it.

Now where was I? Oh yes the snow was coming down fast and in thick flakes as we left. Mom had commented that if it got worse people might not come to the charity event tonight. She also made us stop at the mall as my tiny little useless shoes were not something a girl should wear in this weather. I protested this of course since I had a perfectly good set of winter boots in the closet at home. Snowmobile boots in dark blue but good boots for winter. Sam and mom gave me this look in the car like I was insane to pass up, or try to , the chance to go shoe shopping. Women!

Dad and I followed along after mom who it seemed was hell bent on finding the best possible boots for me in the shortest amount of time. Samantha was in the car listening to the radio and probably draining the battery dry on Dad's cell phone playing games. Mom vetoed my first place of boot shopping as bad since it was Footlocker and not Ladies Footlocker. Payless shoes was fine by both of us but she gave me the look as I went towards the mens side. After trying on 4 different pairs of boots that seemed to fit just fine to me she settled on one pair that was thankfully on sale as Dad was a bit concerned about the price. I didn't care a wink about them being velvet lined or that they had fur at the top where the leg goes in. They were knee high boots that zipped on the inside of the leg with a raised heel. A wider one so that I could actually walk and not kill myself but a heel none the less. They were also white leather with a small scuff mark on the one side. Already waterproofed too. I wore them out of the store, mom insisted, and back to the car where Sammie let me in. Mom and dad followed not long after.

Said boots were currently under the watchful eye of mom. She was of the opinion that someone may steal them in the cloakroom. I had no idea why since there was way more fancy boots there but then mom was being a little weird today. Even the coat I borrowed from Sam was in the cloakroom along with everyone else. Just the boots were hidden under the table where my family sat. During the actual dinner I wouldn't even be able to sit with them cause I would be sitting at the table with the rest of the girls from the deportment class, although they did make an allowance for Samantha to sit next to me since she is in the wheelchair. First I had to get through standing here in the stupid 2 in black shiny heels that mom insisted I should wear with the uniform as it was only proper. Grrr my feet were already sore after an hour.

"Belle how nice to see you here! Such a lovely girl you are in your Maitre'D hostess uniform! Only the best for my future niece in law!" Oh gods not her!" Why don't you be a good fiancée and give Belle a kiss Jason!"

"Thank you for coming but I'm kinda busy. Go donate over there and then join the others to wait for a table please." Drop dead while your at it bitch!

"Nonsense! We will take the best table available and you will join us of course." She doesn't seem to get it. I had little choice but to look to Ms. Bain who got the point and came over to talk to Jason's aunt.

"Madam this is a charity event fundraiser for the children's hospital. Everyone is entitled to the same table and meals as there is no best table. I'm afraid you will have to.." she didn't get to finish as Jason's aunt pulled a large roll of money out of her purse which she handed to Ms. Bain. Her eyes went wide and eagerly accepted the bribe, and that's exactly what it was, before she continued in a much different tone.

"Belle show Ms. ahh I didn't get your name?"

"Striker, Jasmine Striker and its Mrs."

"Show Mrs. Striker and your fiancée to the reserved table please." The reserved table was actually the table set aside for the teachers and kitchen staff for supper. I turned to lead them to it while seething inside.

"Ms. Thorne. A lady glides and does not grind her teeth."

"Yes Ms. Ba..rnes." Close one! Bitch! I hate this if it was not for the whole charity thing in memory of Bethany I would have so made a scene. I wonder if kicking Jason's ass with a baseball bat would be considered self defense? I led them to the table "gliding" the whole way. Stupid lady like shit. How do I get into these situations? Isn't there supposed to be a fairy godmother or something that is supposed to make my life easier? I was like I had an evil one that made my life harder instead. I arrived at the table and bent forward slightly with my one hand pointed to the table. I had my eyes closed counting to ten, temper you know, when I got kissed on the cheek. I opened my eyes in shock to see Jason leaning back after apparently kissing said cheek. Worse the jerk had this huge smile on his face. I just about turned and ran out then and there. I didn't but I did make haste back to my desk for the other waiting guests who were now all smiling at me with this stupid grin.

I went by Ms. Bain instead and asked to be excused for a minute or two to freshen up. She nodded giving me her permission and I moved to the mens room door inside the cafeteria. I still find it strange that a private girls school has a mens room door in the cafeteria. I guess they would get the occasional man for teaching or kitchen staff. I almost made it in the door as I had my hand out before I was rudely interrupted.

"Miss. Miss that is the mens room. Miss!" and my outstretched hand was grabbed by one of the guests in a fancy white even dress with a side slit and plunging neckline. To bad for her that at her age it was the wrong thing to wear she was old, maybe 40 and her figure had seen better days. I turned to look at her and tell her to let me go when she did a double take at the look on my face. She waved to someone before leading me to the girls room door on the other side. I should have put up a fight but I didn't.

I was so not gonna cry like a girl.

"I can't believe the nerve of that that ..Jerk that asshole ...that creep.. I'm gonna kill him!"

I went on in that vain for a few minutes inside the girl's washroom. All the while the lady in the white dress just stood hips to one side and her arms folded under her breasts. I vented for a few minutes and not just about the fact that Jason had kiss me on the cheek. I was upset and most of what I was saying probably didn't make sense to anyone anyways. When my heaving from being out of breath started to get under control the woman came over and hugged me. That was somehow worse and I burst into tears.

I was in that position crying when my mom came in. I immediately went into her open arms and sobbed into her chest. She just hugged me and slid her hand up and down my back. This felt better but every time she passed her hand over the bra strap, not my bra as only girls can make that claim, I would cry more. So I did cry for quite awhile. Stressed? Me? Not a chance!

Eventually I cried myself out. I never understood that saying before but I do now. It was like I was empty, calm, but empty. All the stress I had been carrying and hadn't notice for the last week just was gone. I hate to admit it but I liked it. I was comfortable and protected in my mothers arms. I didn't want to move. I didn't want to be the girl everyone thought I was. I just wanted to stay and feel protected and most of all loved for being me. Not me Bill or even me Belle. Just me. I know that doesn't make sense but that is how I see it.

The lady in white whose name I found out is Emily also gave me gentle pats on the back. If this is what girls get when they break down and cry I could get used to this. Not the being a girl part but the being comforted part. Mom and Emily brought me over to the counter and had me sit on the counter like a little kid. I did not even complain about the injustice of it. It felt to ..right to object to it. Mom quietly and patiently used some damp paper towels to wipe off my face under my eyes. Emily had me tilt my head back and put some drops into my eyes to help with redness she said.

"Where is your purse dear?" Emily asked.

"She never carries one."thanks mom, like I need one to begin with!

"Tisk tisk, oh is this hers?"I felt something being applied under my eyes. Makeup aww common.

"Mooomm."

"Oh hush it's to cover the redness you don't really want everyone to know you were crying do you?" well when put like that I guess I really don't want everyone to know I was crying like a girl. I next felt something pass over my eyelashes and knew before I saw the brush someone was putting mascara on me.

"Hold still."Haven't I suffered enough? Guess not as lipstick was applied to my lips before I could let my head down. In the mirror was undoubtedly a girl. Unfortunately that girl just happened to look like me. How depressing Belle is all done up and it wasn't my fault. Still if people don't know a guy like me cried like a stupid girl then it's a small price to pay. Then again this morning I had put on my own makeup. That still makes me want to cringe. I hopped off the counter to go outside when mom and Emily fussed over making sure my skirt was straight and what not.

"Are we done?"

"Yes unless you do actually have to do your business?"

Which I did. A bit of a fight with pantyhose followed as I tried to get the hose and panties down at the same time standing before the toilet. I was about to start when I heard mom say "Sit". Groaning inwardly I turned around and sat to pee which is so annoying. I stared at the ceiling while I did so.

"Is Belle going to the funeral tomorrow?"

"Yes we went shopping earlier for dresses earlier."

"She seems to be having a hard time with transitioning. What time is the funeral?"

"It's at 2 in the afternoon."

"Here this is a card with my address. While I do not have everything I used to have, I can give her a spa day in the morning. My treat."

"Oh I'm sure she would love that. Are you sure it's not to much trouble?"

"No trouble at all! Just remember to bring her dress and lingerie and I'll have her all ready to pull boys for miles around."

"Uh I'd rather he not do that."

"I was only kidding."

Interesting conversation you overhear in a girls bathroom. They were speaking in low tones but I could make it out before I had to fight with the toilet paper holder. What is it with these things you can maybe pull off half a sheet before the huge upper roll jams the lower roll and stops? After lifting the thing and getting enough to actually wipe myself, it's just so gross to have pee anywhere on you, they had stopped talking. I quickly washed my hands under my mothers stern gaze before I presented myself for inspection again. Mom pulled up the back of my costume and pulled the slip a little then patted me down before giving me a gentle shove to the door, smiling the whole time which creeped me out somehow.

As I returned my eyes had to blink. The cafeteria has more light than the bathroom does so it took me a few blinks before my eyes adjusted. You don't really notice such things normally. It's not that it was like sunlight bright from a dark house blinding thing more of a slight discomfort thing when moving to a brighter room.

The rest of the night passed without any major incident on my behalf. I did annoy Ms. Bain when I sat with the girls from my class and NOT my fake fiance. I enjoyed that immensely for some reason. Jasmine, Jason's crazy aunt, did not look happy with me at all. I just smiled at her from my seat as I attempted to eat my cordon blue chicken with brown rice. The rice tasted bad and the funky cheese thing in the middle of the chicken didn't smell good to me. Everyone else seemed happy with the meal. I could have killed for a descent veggie burger but made do with eating salad. The tiny square of white cake that followed the meal was very light and tasted somewhat okay. If there was more I could have maybe enjoyed it.

After the tiny meal a speech was made thanking everyone for coming to the dinner fund raiser. A total raised was given by Ms. Bain and she did have this cardboard check thing to present to the representative of the children's hospital. I was surprised I was not called up to do give the thing away, considering how much I seem to be in the limelight these days. I was quite glad to sit the whole thing out. I did do some mingling around with a bottle to fill the glasses with apple cider. Nothing major although Jasmine did try to get me to 'spend time with your fiance'. At least he had the good sense to look guilty when she said that. Maybe running him over with my bike at speed would be a good idea.

At the end the girls in their waitress uniforms, and me, thanked everyone in a line for coming as they all filed outside. We had to stay for a few minutes to clean what little there was to clean which wasn't that much. Mostly grab the table clothes and rearrange the tables and chairs back. Mom was waiting for me with the boots and coat, she even helped me to get into the coat, which was nice. The boots kept my feet warm on the drive home. I think I fell asleep before we even got a block away. I vaguely remember being dragged into the house and someone undressing me before sleep reclaimed me.

I woke the next morning in my bed still in panties pantyhose slip and bra. I had drooled all over my pillow during the night which smeared what makeup I had all over the pillow too. Not the best thing to wake up to. I got up emptied my bladder and took a shower scrubbing my face extra hard to get off any makeup remnants. When I got out I wrapped a towel around my waist and left the bathroom. Dad was walking by and happened to look at me. It was his stumble that made me look down and realize my chest was poking out like I had breasts. I hurried to my room quickly to get dressed.

I didn't spend a whole lot of time getting dressed basically just a pair of old sweatpants with a few stains that I have no idea where they came from, sport socks, strangely baggy y fronts, and a simple old faded red hoodie. I refused to wear a bra or anything on my chest although it was a little uncomfortable after wearing one for the last few days. Having something rubbing my nipples seemed strange. Still I had to get used to regular guy stuff again as I fully intended to be a guy for the rest of the day.

"Belle what are you wearing?" mom asked me as I sat for breakfast causing Samantha to choke on her Cheerios.

"Mom my name is Bill and I'm your so..."

"I know your my son but today you need to be Belle for the funeral remember." Doh! Knew I forgot something.

After breakfast I went upstairs to get changed but before I could that mom came into my room and opened my drawer with the girl stuff in it. Amazing how in such a short time that one drawer was now quite full. She pulled out various items from it and folded them into a bag that I had not even seen before. From the closet, and don't even ask me how it got there, she extracted a garment bag and some shoes.

"We don't have time for you to get changed. We have to get you to Emily's for your spa day."

"Do I really have to go to a spa mom?"

Apparently this was not something I should ask as she turned towards me with this blank shocked look. I just shuffled my feet and shut up. I knew at that point I was going to experience a "spa day" whether I wanted to or not.

Why me?

Lil Jaci giggled to herself as she clicked send on this story chapter. Although she was still technically in trouble for wearing Tante's makeup her snowsuit, like Dotties, was very wet from their impromptu snowball fight.

It didn't seem fair that Dottie could make better snowballs than her. Jaci's snowballs tended to fall apart long before they got near the target. This ended up covering the target, Dottie, with a fair amount of snow while Dottie's snowballs tended to stay together. Evidence of such could be seen on the front of the house as there was snowball bumps of white all along the one section. The good thing was Dottie's aim was horrible otherwise Jaci would have a few bruises from the snowballs.

Still sending her and Dottie to their rooms as punishment did not seem to be that big a punishment. She watched the hour glass on her computer before it came back with a screen that said (Error 404 - connection to host not found) totally destroying her unsaved work!

Lil Jaci went off to sit on her bed hugging her fluffy teddy bear to her chest and cried.

Author's note: This one may hit close to home for some people be warned.

'I can't believe how nice this feels!'was my last rational thought.

I had come into Emily's house earlier this morning after mom dropped me off on her way to a half day of work. Samantha was home with dad while mom had to put in a half day. But for me it was off to a spa day. The first spa day, and hopefully last ever, I had ever had. Emily's house was different from other houses I had seen before. The first being that in the middle of the living room area was what looked like a hairdressers chair along with a full counter of various items that I cannot identify. The kitchen looks normal with its dinning room all in one thing. The counters are clean as well as the table. There is a chair that tilts back by the kitchen sink but its on some sort of wooden platform raising it's height.

The bathroom likewise seems normal as well. The first bedroom is an office of some sort with computers, two of them, as well as some other sound system and an actual filing cabinet. The big black cheap wood desk where the monitors sit on is covered with neat stacks of paper.

The second bedroom, where I was led looks like your typical older woman's bedroom. Vanity table made of brass and glass, black dresser with a large oval mirror on it, There is even another full length mirror in chrome on the floor. Black closet doors with one opened to reveal a profession women's wardrobe of suits, both skirt and pant suits, a few dresses professional of course. There is room in that side on the hanger where my garment bag now sits. She had me change out of my clothes into a white satin or silk robe that does not come far down my thighs.

My hair, although not long for a girl, was released from its plain elastic prison at the bottom of my neck. I was lead from the bedroom to the basement where I was put on a table in a small wooden room. She removed my robe after having me lay down and put that outside. She removed her robe to reveal a sexy one piece bathing suit. I got really bad ideas that had junior trying to react into the table I was laying on. It was a little painful as he was pointed straight down at the time.

The room turned out to be a steam room that quickly filled up with steam which I found relaxing. She rubbed oil into my skin after letting me sit for a few minutes in peace, thank god. The oil was slightly fragrant but not really and she rubbed while giving me a massage that quickly turned all my muscles to jelly. Emily is very good this. She never once tried to pry into what had happened or even made a fuss over it. I believe she was trying to get me to forget about it all actually. Instead she told me her story.

She said she was like me, that lost me for a bit actually it wasn't until later when it was far to rude to correct her that I understood. She had come from a middle class working family. Her father and older brother ran a business building homes for people. Custom homes, not houses I didn't know there was a difference... right shut up, that to her work works of art in themselves. When you walked into one, which she did from a young age, it was instantly warm. Her mother was the interior decorator who did all the furnishings and little things so that when a couple moved in it was like coming home.

It was a successful if small business that employed maybe 10 people full time and subcontracted another 40ish small businesses. Her older brother and sister had gone to college with courses specifically for helping build the family business. It was expected that she would follow in the footsteps and join the labor force after highschool doing the actual building of the houses to make a man out of her. Emily had other ideas. When she was young she had accompanied her mother to a salon where her mother got pampered. The look of her mother at the end had so enthralled her that at her young age she wanted to one day be a cosmetologist.

For years she studied every scrap of information, makeup magazines and books, various skin treatment options and so forth. I can tell you she really knows what she is doing. At a young age she even helped her older sister, in secret, get ready for her prom with a home based massage and oiling, much like what she was doing to me. I did wonder why they wanted a girl to go into manual labor when she was obviously much better at doing more feminine stuff. It was then she told me that she was born male. What little excitement I had was gone in a second. Not from disgust but shock. Emily was the first transsexual I had ever met and until she told me I would have never guessed.

She told me that growing up had been hard as she tried very hard to be the boy her family expected. She admitted to even bullying any weird children in school even though it hurt her so bad inside. It was something her family expected. She did go to university on scholarship from highschool instead of working building houses. She learned to do virtual designs of the houses by programming it all into the computer. She even set up such a system at her families small office for customers to see the finished product.

During university she tried hard to date other women to the point she even convinced herself she was in love with a woman that she set up a fancy dinner just to propose. She says she totally screwed it up from the first moment when her, then girlfriend, walked in in a dress to die for. She complimented her on the dress and let slip she loved it so much she wished she had one. During the following dinner she could not take her eyes off the dress and realized at the end of the dinner that she was not in love with her girlfriend but in love with the way she dressed and looked.

She says it was the beginning of the bad times for her. She went to a psychologist about the problem she had. After 5 sessions she found out that she was really a she trapped in a man's body. The thing was she had learned to deny herself over the years and had hid it. She walked away from that doctor thinking her was nuts. The next 4 therapists and doctors came to the same conclusion and helped her to peel off the male costume a piece at a time. She did manage to finish her university degree in design with a minor in small business management. Her elective courses were all makeup and or cosmetology but nobody but her knew about them.

She had convinced her family to allow her to apprentice under a well know firm for 5 years. Which she did but in another city far from home. While she was in the city she came out of the closet and after 8 months started to live as herself. She calls it transitioning. After 3 years she had saved enough and got her surgery done to correct her birth defect, as she calls it. She never told her family what she had done nor did she tell them about her legal name and gender change. By the time she did return home she was scared but she went anyways. It was to a family barbeque with there above ground pool. She had come dressed androgynously as she could with her limited wardrobe of clothes that could belong to a guy no makeup or jewelry or even had her, now long hair, in a low ponytail.

She said that walking out of the childhood home in a bikini that left no doubt as to her gender was the hardest thing she ever did. The reaction she got was even worse. I felt the tears on my back as she told me. Her brother and father got very upset. She was yelled at before her brother manhandled her removing her bikini with force. Not to embarrass her but to see with his own eyes that she really was completely female now. He had apparently thought it was some trick. Her family covered her up as soon as possible and rushed her into the house before someone else saw her. Her mother and sister performed a examination of her at close range.

The family let her dress in chosen male clothing for her to wear before they rushed her to a hospital for the mentally insane. It took her months to convince the people at the hospital that she was not only sane but should be free from harming herself. She believed that her family would not hurt her. When she was released in a dress her family turned and walked away from her. They did meet with her one last time via a lawyer who informed her that unless she was willing to return to being male she was legally disowned from the family and even requested that she legally change her last name.

I can tell it was hard for her to say that too me as the sobs and tears were hard. Still she continued. Her family made sure to ruin her chances of returning to firm or even seeking a job in the field. This did not really bother her too much as she found a salon that she could work at. Within a year she even bought out the owner who was retiring. She worked hard and built up the business from a salon into a spa. The spa itself became even more of a success and she had to employ more and more people.

Eventually however her former family found out, or more specifically her brother. It was her brother who one day barged into the spa and confronted her infront of all the employees and customers. He called her by her male name and yelled at her to get serious help as she was a guy and always would be a guy. Although the police came and charged her brother with verbal assault nothing was really done to him.

The business took a turn for the worst though as less and less people came by. It was 4 months later that her then business manager Patty had offered to buy the business from her under the understanding that if she laid low for 6 months until it all blew over she would sell the business back to her. She agreed that it was best for the business and did just that. For 6 months she took an online course in professional makeup along with a few updated cosmology courses. Her business flourished and she would watch from afar as to how well it was doing.

6 months later when the business was to open it's second location she went back to Patty to take over her business. It was a surprise when she showed up at the meeting to see a lawyer sitting with Patty. When she sold the business to Patty it was done under a verbal agreement that was not witnessed. Because of that she was informed that there was no proof when Emily demanded that Patty return the business as per their agreement. She even pleaded that she would accept to be the owner of the second location. In the end Emily was left with nothing. Her savings that she had lived on for the last 6 months were all but gone. She ended up losing her house at the time as she had to sell it off.

The few items she still had from her spa were now in her house her in our town. They were older models from when the spa was really a salon but they were hers and she had moved them from the storage locker with her when she moved across country to here. She is quite happy being a simple hairdresser part time while also working part time for the town municipal office.

It was a very sad and heartbreaking story. At the end I knew I should tell her that I was not really a male to female transsexual but my throat was all closed up from unshod tears. She had also waxed me everywhere but my face. So maybe some of the tears were from that as well. She put some masks on my face. Mud mask first followed by an egg white mask. Then some herbal stuff. All the while she talked more. She was afraid of telling anyone she was trans till she had seen me on tv one night.

She told me how brave I was and how happy she was for me that my family was so understanding. When she had seen me last night her heart went out to me and for the first time in a long time for her she offered to give me a spa day. She even got excited about it. I could tell that her spa that she lost was her dream. She seems determined to one day reopen a spa here. She told me she had only begun to think about it after seeing how well things were going for me. To her I was an inspiration that maybe here she can live her dream without her past hurting her.

I had no idea how I was gonna tell her I was a guy!

Lil Jacilynn pushed herself away from her laptop and shed tears for the character she had just wrote about. She couldn't believe how hard it was to type that.

Still she had to finish getting undressed from watching the Skyfall movie with Bradly. It was not a date, like Dottie teased her about, just too boys going to see a movie.

With her black embroidered dress hung up in her closet, her little bit of makeup removed via a cleansing pad. She crawled into her bed in her nightie. She fell asleep with the almost kiss that had occurred as Bradly dropped her off in front of her house, well his parents did but he walked her to the door. She had waited hoping he would lean forward but he looked really embarrassed as soon as his dad honked the horn. In her mind the honk never occurred and the longed for kiss that would have made it a date happened.

I can't believe how hard it is to say this.

"Emily."

"Call me Em Belle. I think we are past the awkward stage. Just two girlfriends with a shared past."

Gods she makes this so hard to say. I want to tell her I'm nothing like her but I just know it will hurt her so much. I mean, from what she just told me, her life has been so hard already. Can I really take her last hope away from her.

"Thanks for everything Em."

"Your welcome sweetie! Now why don't you go get your lingerie on while your hair sets."

I hadn't even noticed that she had put my hair into curlers. I guess my thoughts were a bit distracting. On automatic I went to the master bedroom where she had laid out the lingerie mom had chosen for me to wear today. There was a black strapless bra/girdle thing that was tough to put on. The bottom part of the garmet came to just over my belly button and managed to also shrink my waste just a little. It was far more comfortable to wear than that corset ever was. Next I put on the panties, which were a black lace that matched the bra thing.

The sheer black stockings felt delicious as I pulled them up my legs one at a time. So much so junior was struggling to come to attention inside my stiff panties. Lastly came the garter belt that fit snuggly against the bottom of the bra, also in black lace. The assorted straps with the metal and rubber ends confused me. I remember mom putting one on me last week but couldn't remember for the life of me what do with it so I just hooked up the straps to the stocks as best I could. The straps were elastic, and quite painful when they released as I found out, so they stretched. It seemed a strange garment to wear but I have to admit that I made me feel different. Not feminine or sexy, but different. I put the robe back on one more time and walked out the door. Emily was waiting and took a quick look at me up and down.

I recieved a small education on garter belts and how to put one on correctly. Good thing too as going to the bathroom with the straps over instead of under the panties would have been difficult. She even told me a trick she used was to attach all the straps to the stockings before putting them on and then put it all on and in place with the straps all lined up perfectly. Then just slip on your panties and your done. She even gave me a pair of black slippers. The slippers she had to dig out of her closet. She gave me this package that read Tender Toosies. Inside was a pair of satiny looking black ballerina slippers with a tiny satin ribbon bow at the arch. The bottom was made with leather of some kind. They fit perfectly and actually felt really good on my feet. Em said she got them on sale and had grabbed 3 packages without looking. Her feet are bigger than mine and this smaller pair would not fit her feet.

I thanked her for them before she led me back to the living room with the chair and the table of bottles and stuff. She worked on my face with various powders, foundation, and a weird cream that she put on my lips. The real pencil she used caused me to blink at the wrong time and she had to wipe and restart that one spot. Then she spent a great deal of time brushing and spraying my hair. At times I pulled a bit much and I yelped. She wouldn't even let me see myself in the mirror before she ushered me back to the master bedroom to finish getting dressed. From the garment bag she extracted a full slip I had not seen before. The slip was shiny and seemed to flow.

Em told me how jealous she was of me having a full silk slip. I could see why as the material just lit up various nerve endings all over me as she draped it on me. It felt wonderful in a way I had never before experienced. The black velvet dress came next. She helped to get it over my head without snagging anything on my head before settling it into place. The bra had effectively pushed up my chest giving me noticable cleavage. The deep wide v groove neck exposed the skin of my chest just barely covering the slip. The slip itself was held in place by the tiny spaghetti straps over the edge of my shoulders. The short sleeves of my dress, gah I can't believe I said that, were not tight on my upper arms and had a little bit of lift to them at the seam. not much but enough. The dress and its long open back tied behind me with a little cross pattern into a large bow thanks to Em. The skirt of the dress flared out at the hips enough to give my hips a very feminine curve. The skirt of it came to just above my knees. Em extracted a set of black velvet pumps from the bottom of the bag. I had not seen these before as they also had a bow on the toe. They only stood about 1 1/2 inches high but on an itty bitty tiny heel.

They were not the shoes I had gotten with mom yesterday! I do remember seeing them in the store and trying them on but I vetoed them because of the heel. Mom must have switched them at the checkout on me. I did complain to Em about them being a little loose as my heel popped out of one when I took a step but she told me that was a good thing as feet tended to swell a bit as the day wore on. From the matching black velvet purse Em extracted a silver necklace I vagely remembered from somewhere. It took me a few moments to realize that it was mom's. My ears had tiny silver studs in them as well. When I did get a look in the mirror I just about passed out. No passed out NOT fainted. I'm not some girl... okay well you .. oh nevermind!

In the mirror was Belle but Belle was gorgeous! I don't know how she did it but there was not even the mearist hint that I was actually a boy. My hair was in waves all over my head but pulled back from curled bangs coming just over my eyes. At the back was a black velvet bow with long wavy hair that spilled down from it that reached the bottom of my shoulder blades. I almost freaked that Emily had put extensions into my hair again but she assured me it was something called a drop or fall or something, that clipped in and could be removed easily.

Emily corrected me to sit properly after an aborted attempt to sit down to change back into the comfortable slippers. I thought I had sat okay I had even remembered to sweep my hand under the skirt. The second time, thanks to her unwanted guidance, I sat more gracefully. Yuck like I wanted to be more graceful! Deportment class already had damaged my walk now this.

Once I was ready to her satisfaction she brought me once again downstairs for the final touch as she put it. I carried my bag of normal clothes in one hand while the other clutched the offending shoes. I sat down into that chair again where she had made my eyes look inviting and very pretty with dark makeup somehow. She tutted me over the shape of my fingernails but after a small argument pronounced them saveable. She filed and sanded them before applying 2 coats of clear something before a layer of dark red followed by something called pearl pink that barely showed. Into the wet nail polish she inserted tiny little plastic crystals. The final effect was that I had nice oval feminine nails. Not long at all but some just turning my hands into delicate things.

My hands were still drying when mom walked in to Em's house. At first she didn't recognize me at all. I had to say "Hey mom" before she did. At which point she squealed and cried at the same time. So much so that Emily gave mom a touchup job on her face. Even mom looked way prettier when Emily was done. Emily is very good. She also sprayed our faces with hairspray. She said that this would prevent runny makeup from tears at the funeral.

Although Emily first refused any money from mom she eventually gave in and accepted. Mom was ecstatic about how I looked the whole time. I just put on a smile and played my part while they continued to do what women do when excited. I got bored and slipped on my heels, gah, before going outside in one of Sam's spare coats. I walked to the car where dad and Sam were waiting while mom was still inside. As I got in I noticed that both dad's and Sammies faces had open mouths.

"What?" I asked in an angry tone.

"Nothing." dad drawled out.

"Fuck me! Your gorgeous sis!"

"Samantha!" that was dad.

"Sorry daddy."

Samantha was done up nicely and I did tell her such before mom came back to the car in a bit of a run. The car ride to the funeral home was not very long but it felt that way in the silence of the car. Sammie just kept looking at me with big eyes the whole time. I never felt so uncomfortable before.

"Mom can I get a spa day too? If Bill can look like that after one imagine what I would look like!" she said.

"I can just see it now. You would walk out as the handsomest boy ever!" I replied. I couldn't help it.

That got mom giggling and dad having a hard time steering through his laughter. Even Sammie was giggling while trying to hit my arm with her one good one.

"Mom.. Sammie is hitting me." I whined in a little girls voice.

"Am not"

"Girls behave!"

It was a family moment of laughter and it helped to break the ice so to speak before we pulled into the home. The funeral chapel was built on a stretch of land with wrought iron fences. Each grave was visible with a stone of black granite or marble or whatever the heck they use. All those stones, with flowers here and there, all on lush green grass. I knew dad was envious of that grass. Even now when it was dying it still looked really good. Each path through the graveyard proper was made of cut stone. I knew they had machines to dig holes and stuff but I had no idea how they got them to dig without tearing up the grass.

The actual chapel was different than others I have seen. For one the doors were all glass with shiny brass handles. The other was the building outside was covered in finished wood. I don't know what type of wood it was but I was impressed. What wasn't covered with wood was finished stone. I was impressed. I think mom, dad, and even Sammie were too. Dad drove the car up to the entrance where we got out. Sam shifted to get out while dad got her chair. I was busy trying to get out of the car without killing myself in the stupid heels. I even lost one swinging my feet out that mom had to retrieve for me.

Eventually we all got out and straightened ourselves up. Mom even retrieved Sam's purse for her along with the one I didn't want for me as well. Thus with our purses over our shoulders we waited for dad to finish parking the car. I know mom frowned when she saw that dad picked the first spot he could find. Almost at the far end of the lot. She gave him the look as he walked up in his black winter business coat.

"What?" he asked.

"You couldn't have parked closer?"

"Why?"

"MEN!" and with a huff mom turned to go inside pushing Sam in front of her. I shrugged and followed leaving dad behind to mutter curses under his breath.

If I thought the outside was fancy the inside was incredible. From the outside it didn't look that high but here in a funeral home was cathedral ceilings with exposed wooden beams in arches. Every 30 feet or so hung glass chandeliers by heavy chains. The whole place echoed with haunting pipe organ music from unseen speakers. It was also cozy warm. Too warm for our overcoats and with reluctance I removed mine. The uh usher? or whatever her name is in here took our coats and purses, yes, and took them out of sight while we were greeted by Nathan and his grieving wife. She was also dressed in black but it was a very fitted black skirt suit in a fabric that was both shiny and dull at the same time. It made her waist look small. All in all she was very attractive for an older woman. The similarities between her and little Bethany were amazing. I could almost see Bethany being her double when she grew up. Make that if she had..

For some reason the thought of Bethany being dead hit me while I was starring at her mother and I started to cry. That got Sammie and Mom going as well. Before long Mrs. Peters was also crying and for some reason all of us were hugging at the same time. Dad and Nathan looked decided uncomfortable and moved away. Take me with you please don't leave me trapped in this wash of female hormones! No luck.

When we all finished crying, it took a few minutes, I was escorted by even more women into the ladies room to "fix ourselves". In the ladies room surrounded by women ,who all knew me only as Belle Thorne the young transgirl, I was told about how well I was doing and congratulations on joining the correct side and such. It made me decidedly uncomfortable as it was not really the case. I almost spoke up to correct them a few times but was interrupted each time so I never got the chance.

After everyone had fixed themselves, more or less, we were led to a front pew as honored guests for the actual funeral stuff. You know someone stands behind a podium while pictures of a healthy Bethany go by on a screen. Well not all healthy as there was, embarrassingly, a few of yours truly in that dratted school uniform. This is followed by prayers that nobody seems to really know and we all bow our heads down. This was a bad mistake as it also allowed women to whisper "Belle knees!" whenever mine started to drift apart.

Once that was done a viewing of the casket containing poor little Bethany in a very angelic little dress with a very lifelike wig on her tiny sleeping face was something we had to look at. This was made hard as each woman saw her they broke into tears. Hence by the time we got to it I was already shedding water so all it took was a choked sob from Sammie and I was off. I guess that was why they left it towards the end so that all the women, and some men so I wasn't alone, were led into a small reception room to cry. Every table or ledge had tissues in fancy boxes so nobody was without one. Even dad was sniffling as he led us to seats. Samantha was not doing so good and I ended up hugging her tightly while she emptied herself out on my shoulder.

Her whispered "thanks Bill" was followed by a louder "Oh my look what I did to your dress!" which got me another escort by Mrs. Peters to the ladies room to salvage my dresses edge on the shoulder from makeup.

"Belle I hope I'm not being to forward but I know that Beth.."sniffle" wanted you to have something. If it would not be too much of a problem I would very much like it if you could come visit sometime." She said this while using a small washcloth, don't ask me where she got it I have no idea, to wash down the corner with some soap and yet more water before patting it dry with paper towels. I was very uncomfortable and may have made a mistake but I accepted the invitation.

The rest of the funeral was mostly just a gathering of people munching on tiny sandwiches and itty bitty paper cups of some juice. I think the sandwiches were either tuna or chicken. There was also a tray of vegitables, which I grabbed a few sour pickles and carrots from. I happen to love sour pickles. I happily munched away, while keeping my knees together, while listening to inane chatter from women and a few girls ranging from Bethany's age to women just into college. Her cousins and surprisingly one Aunt. The rest of the woman were older and of various states of courtship. Her grandmother, Mrs. Peters call me Abby, was also there and I could also see a strong resemblance to little Bethany in her. Not like her mother but oh well hard to explain.

I did break away once to chat with dad and a few guys my age but the guys kept getting really shy around me or were hostile so that didn't last long. The one group of guys were even talking about the latest game coming up for release, Halo 4, which I had a vested interest in. Unfortunately they saw me as a girl and I was told to go back to my makeup and dolls instead. That hurt more than I care to admit.

The ride home I wanted to fall asleep but couldn't even though both mom and Sam were snoring. I just stared out of my side window as the scenery passed us by. I don't even remember thinking about anything just starring away. I just about killed myself once more getting out of the car on those heels before the door saved me. Once inside I kicked off the shoes into the closet, much to mom's dismay, and all but ran up to my room. I had to get out of the dress and all the stuff as soon as possible. I don't know exactly why I did but I just knew I really needed to. I even got the hair thing out without much trouble before I ran into the bathroom and took a long hot shower.

Mom silently unlocked the bathroom door on me and retrieved my crying self from said shower after it had gone cold. I just couldn't see to stop I don't know why. She lovingly caressed me as I sat in her lap with her similar black velvet dress, with full sleeves and a smaller neckline not to mention a straight skirt, getting soaked. She made soothing noises and it was from there I fell asleep.

I woke much later in my bed. It was dark outside and I could not hear anything from people in the house. A quick glance at my clock told me it was 3 am so that explained it. Still something had woken me from a sound sleep. I left my nice warm bed to find out what it was. Not the best idea I admit but something was almost calling me. Eventually I made my way downstairs and to the back door of the kitchen. I saw someone sitting outside in our deck. I couldn't tell who it was from the house as it was sorta half snowing and raining at the same time.

I don't remember how I got there dressed in one of moms long winter coats and my rubber boots but I did. I found Kim, of all people sitting there. It appeared she was waiting for me so I wrapped myself as best I could to go sit down beside her.

"Hey Kim wassup?" lame but it works.

"Not much Bill. So how do you like being a girl?"

"Hate it."

"But not all of it."

"Well.."

"Don't lie!"

"Alright it wasn't that bad, at least some of it. But I really want to just be myself now."

"Nothing stopped you from that before. You did all this on your own."

"Well I tried.."

"I know you tried but you really didn't try all that hard."

"Yea I guess. But what was the whole reason I mean really?"

"When a person makes a small decision. That choice can and will effect other people. Sometimes for the better. Sometimes not so much."

"I guess. Your not really Kim are you?"

"No,"

"Who are.." and my last words were spoken to empty air. There was no trace of any footprints other than my own. I gathered I would never find out all the answers but perhaps one day. I went back to bed confused and thinking.

You know for the first time in a little over 2 weeks I got a good nights sleep. I wish I could say that that was the last time Belle Thorne ever made an appearance in my life.

But that is another story.

The End.