Freedom: Another Dream by Lynceus All I had ever wanted was to become a woman; surgery and drugs had given me the form, but there was one thing I wanted so desperately, I'd do anything to get it. And then I met Dr. Deidre Wentworth...

A Tale of the Comics Retcon Universe!: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/20577/comics-retcon-universe

Prologue: The Mysterious Y-Women!

You know, when I look back at my life, it's funny how one decision leads to another. I mean, I never intended to become a hero. Don't get me wrong, I loved comics when I was younger. My favorite, although it took me a long time to figure out why it was my favorite, was Lee Stone's Mysterious Y-Women. Now at the time when I started reading it, it was pretty controversial stuff.

In retrospect, I think Ms. Stone was simply ahead of her time. Back in the late 60's, I imagine it was hard to be a woman who read comics, let alone wrote them! But the things her and Jackie King created were nothing short of incredible. At first, they didn't reveal that they were women, but used masculine-sounding pseudonyms.

It wasn't until their comics hit the world by storm that they 'came out', so to speak. Anyways, the Y-Women. It all started when a scientist named Dr. Charlemagne discovered his amazing formula, that could unlock the hidden powers all men possess. “Inside each of us, is another person, another being, who possesses talents and abilities none of us could ever imagine!”

Of course, like all great scientists, Dr. Charlemagne couldn't test this stuff out on anyone, no, he chose himself. The formula killed the man known as Dr. Charlemagne, but then, an amazing transformation occurred! Like alchemy, the formula transmuted Dr. C's body...and from man, was born a woman!

Specifically, a young girl who called herself Charlotte. She possessed all of Dr. C's memories, but considered herself an entirely different person. Due to some imperfection in the formula, however, her legs were weak, unable to support her weight.

Thus, in her early appearances, she sat in a wheelchair. It wasn't until the 80's that she underwent intense physical therapy to let her walk (although even then, she required a cane), but...that's another story.

Anyways, Dr. Charlotte was a strange character. She had this really long, I mean super-long hair that she was always fussing with. It looked great, but she had to spend so much time dealing with it (trust me, long hair is high maintenance!) that I always wondered why she didn't cut it.

It wasn't revealed until much later that her beautiful Titian hair wasn't really hair at all; it looked and felt like hair, but each strand was actually a sort of nerve ending that extended from her brain, allowing her to perceive the world around her in ways no man could ever know! In fact, it turned out that those 'piercing stormy grey eyes' of hers were actually blind! In addition to her incredible sensitivity to her environment, Dr. Charlotte was a 'counterpath'. She had incredible telepathic abilities, but they only functioned when she was subject to a mental attack or contact with another; she lacked the ability to open a psionic channel into another mind. But look out if someone attempted to open a pathway into her mind! Once they revealed the truth about her 'hair', it was discovered that she could use her telepathy on anyone who touched her hair with their skin.

So yeah, very offbeat character, but because of all the increased sensory input, she came off as tripped-out of her mind, but incredibly wise, drawing some unfair comparisons to the Free Love movement. (Ms. Stone admitted in later years that she had indeed based Charlotte on a young woman she met on a college campus, who serenely watched over a flock of stoned out-of-their minds young people while handing out flowers).

Anyways, Dr. C would go around recruiting great men who were nearing the end of their lives, who were reborn as young women possessed of bizarre powers...and thus the Y-Women were born! The Y stood for the Y-chromosome, indicating that each of these young women was once a man. It wasn't until the mid-90's that it was revealed all of the Y-Women were still chemically male, and unable to have children, a revelation that caused one team member, Beatrix, to attempt suicide, as she had always longed to become a mother.

Powerful stuff, I know. I always felt sorry for Beatrix, she was usually the one team member who had the hardest time fitting in. Reborn from a genius-level chemist, she had this strange blue hair, and came off as the slowest team member, mentally, as well as being physically the smallest (when Dr. Charlotte started to walk, despite being frozen at the age of 12 since her rebirth, it was revealed that she was actually an inch taller than Beatrix!). The other team members would often poke fun at how much of a clutz Beatrix was, and she was constantly fumbling or tripping.

It wasn't until I was older that I got it though. Beatrix was simply the most feminine of all the Y-Women. She had tiny hands and feet, and she was very petite. Ms. Stone created her to exemplify all the traits women were expected to have at the time.

Traits that made her seem useless for being a hero! Even during the 90's, when all women were drawn with tiny waists and large breasts, Beatrix remained somewhat feminine. You might wonder why they kept her on the team at all, but Beatrix had the power to bring a creature from her nightmares to life, a powerful, bestial savage woman called 'Beastrix'. Beastrix was basically the opposite of what women were supposed to be like. She was tall, and powerfully-built, physically aggressive, and didn't care about her appearance much (that didn't really hide the fact that she was really hot, and basically ran around in a bikini to fight bad guys)!

Beastrix was, bizarrely enough, a fan favorite, to the point that they toyed around in the late 80's of having Beastrix become her own character, rather than be summoned by a total girly girl. But without the counterpoint of the kind, gentle Beatrix, the character fell sort of flat. Like a female Sabertooth or something.

So why am I going on about obscure comics history? Well, it was the Y-Women who made me realize that I wanted to be a woman. When I was growing up, guys were expected to act like, you know, guys. But where my friends were all buff and muscled, I had a slender build, more like a dancer, I guess.

Although I could outrun any of them in track. I guess that's how I escaped being picked-on for being 'gay' or, as much as I hate the word, a 'fag'. God! Just thinking about the way other kids like me got treated! But no, I was an athlete, a borderline-Jock myself, so as long as I kept my mouth shut, they wouldn't bother me. The fact that I was also on the soccer team didn't hurt either.

But the truth was, I did have a feminine build, and delicate features. The girls called me cute, but they had no idea. When I turned 18, I moved out of the house, so I could work my way through college. My family would never understand me, and I grew tired of Dad's homophobia.

It was around this time that I finally did it. Oh I'd fantasized about it, but I never dared to, for risk of being caught. I started to wear my hair long. With just a little styling, some makeup, and the right clothes, I wasn't Cash Webster any longer.
I was Cathy, and I was beautiful. Oh sure, maybe I had no breasts to speak of, but that didn't matter. The girls all treated me like a little sister, and the guys were fascinated by this cute girl who could talk comics and movies (and beat any one of them at Street Fighter).

This was the life I wanted! Unfortunately, I had a choice. School or becoming the real me. So I was forced to put off college. I worked long hours, and rarely had time to be myself. Trapped in this cursed male body. If only there was a real Dr. Charlotte; I would give up this life in a heartbeat. But somehow, I did it. I barely ate, I barely slept, but I began taking hormones and estrogen and any other weird chemical the Doc gave me.

I started growing small breasts, which I had to tape down at work (and wear two shirts, which got HOT as hell during the summer!). My waist seemed to narrow, my hips widened. And finally, I was able to fly to Europe, where they surgically reconstructed my genitalia.

I changed my name legally, and Cathy Webster was truly born.

Now, being a post-op transsexual isn't all fun and games. Sure, I looked the part (although I did have some faint scars that were hard to explain), but I wasn't really a woman. And I never would be. This would be the best I could ever hope for.

Don't get me wrong, I know a lot of people who would kill to be like me. Any time I met with others like myself, they always seemed awed by my presence. Like I was some kind of transsexual Goddess. Heh. Little did they know how intensely I still envied real women.

So I started college later than most. I still looked young, but I knew it would be years before I had the degree I wanted. When I could finally start living my true life, would I be young enough to enjoy it? God, I sound so shallow and superficial. I'm not, really. I just worry about stuff that doesn't matter.

When the whole metagene thing was announced by Earth's first superhero (superheroine, excuse me), the mysterious (and very hot) Jade, there was a lot of buzz, especially when the rumors about transgendered heroines started to fly. It so wasn't fair! Somewhere out there, some kid will get the body I always wanted, just for winning some genetic lottery?

Which is how I fell in with Dr. Deidre Wentworth.

Chapter One: How I Spent My Summer Vacation

Being a grad student when you're a few years older than the others is no picnic. I busted my ass, and I was starting to get kind of waifish-looking. I mean, I was still really active; I ran every morning, I worked out, and there was my martial arts class at night, but I was really running myself ragged.

I needed extra credit, and I needed it bad. So when the Summer Semester started, I tried to get an internship. A new teacher had recently joined the college, a tall, Nordic-looking blonde named Deidre Wentworth. She was really tall, over 6', and she didn't hide her physique, she flaunted her well-toned muscles. And I had to admit, she was beautiful.

She also looked pretty darned young to be a teacher, but hey, I wasn't going to hold that against her. Dr. Wentworth had a few problems though. First of all, she was a total misandrist. She had little use for men, and she didn't bother candy-coating it.
Second of all, she was openly lesbian, and while she never hit on her students, the girls were always kind of weirded-out by her interest. So, as you can tell, there weren't many people willing to work for her.

I still remember the day she looked me up and down (all 5' 6” of me). “You're pretty enough, but I don't think you have the strength for this job, why should I choose you?”

I didn't care for her tone one bit. “Strength, or courage?”

She blinked. “What?”

“What would you rather have, strength, or courage? Because maybe I'm not as strong as you, but you don't intimidate me.”

She gave me a long glance. “And what have you done that is so courageous?”

“I'm a post-op transsexual asking a man-hating she-bitch for a job.”

To my shock, her features seemed to soften, and there was something unreadable in her eyes. “Your surgeon does excellent work, I never would have guessed.”

“I'll make sure to send him your regards. The job?”

She laughed then. “Oh yes, you have the job. You remind me of someone...I used to work with. Everyone thought he was weak, but he turned out to be the strongest man I ever met.” She sighed. “Very well, when can you start?”

“Right now.”

-

Somehow, we got along pretty well. Apparently there were some men she could tolerate, she just hated the way most of them were programmed to behave. “I mean, it's not as if we are inferior to them in any meaningful way. Yes, men tend to be taller and can build muscle easier, but physical strength isn't everything.”

I snorted. “Says the valkyrie. Pull the other one.”

She laughed. “Oh Cathy, you're a treasure. I only wish Damon could have met you.” She sighed.

“Damon?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Never you mind. Now, where was I?”

“Women being superior to men in every way, I imagine.”

She shook her head. “Am I really that bad?”

“Pretty much.”

She sighed. “No wonder I'm not very popular. Tell me something, Cathy. If you were offered a magic potion to make you strong, would you take it?”

I had a strange flashback to my comics-reading days. “Actually...” My voice choked up.

“Cathy? What's wrong?”

“You're my friend, right? We've gotten past the whole evil boss/cute employee thing?”

She put her hand on my shoulder. “Of course we're friends. I don't have many, you know.”

I tried to smile, but I shook my head. “If you're peddling potions...I'd rather have one that could turn me into a real woman.”

She blinked. “Cathy, you're one of the proudest examples of womanhood I've had the pleasure of knowing.”

“But I'm not! Even with all the drugs, and the surgery, I'm not! I'm just pretending, it's a lie....” I trailed off.

“Cathy. It's not as if there are any real differences between us. No PMS, for one. Well, maybe the sex would be better...”

“I don't.”

“What?”

“I don't have sex. I can't really explain the scars.”

“I didn't know. I'm sorry. But if not sex then...” And her eyes got very wide. “Oh Cathy...how could I be so blind?”

I shrugged.

“You want to be a mother.”

“It's a thing I can never know. To feel a life growing inside me. Something that's a part of me, but isn't. I'd do so much for that...”

Her eyes seemed to flash. “What if I told you that there was a way? And I'm not teasing you, there is.”

“What? But how?”

“I didn't always look like I do now. Would you believe that I'm 38?”

I goggled at her. “No way!”

She smiled. “Yes way. My real name is Amy Zhan.”

“Wait...the biochemist? The one that died?”

She nodded. “Except that I didn't die. Dr. Zeul and I, we created a compound that could enhance physical strength. And I improved on it. I created something that could give women a true equalizer. Look at me! Youth, beauty, height, strength...I am superior to any man. And I'll tell you something else...this is just the beginning.”

“But would it...would it make me a woman?”

She smiled. “Yes. Yes it would.”

“Please, I'll do anything. Anything!” She had me.

One blood test later, and her smile was all the answer I needed.

-

So the next few weeks were spent taking her 'mutagenic compound'. At night, I would sleep in a special deprivation chamber. Deidre...Amy...had told me that I tested positive for the metagene. Of course, I knew damn well that there is no test for it that works yet, and I told her so.

“You would be surprised, Cathy. I didn't think it was possible either, until I was shown the notes of Dr. Josef Reinstein. Highly classified, of course.”

“And you got those, how?”

She frowned. “I made mistakes, which is why I had to pretend to be dead, and take on a new identity. One of those mistakes was going to a man for funding.”

“That man being...?”

“Lex Luthor.”

I sucked in a breath. “You really did make a deal with The Devil, hon. He's everything you hate!”

She nodded.

I snapped my fingers. “Hey! Those valet girls he's always with...your formula gave them those amazon bodies!”

“Yes! He stole my work outright. But he will pay...”

Sometimes, the Doc got scary. I let that one go.

-

I started to grow taller. My muscles became more pronounced, my weight skyrocketed as my body became more dense. I was having strange dreams, but I chalked that up to sensory deprivation. I had so much energy now! I worked out constantly.

And the most amazing changes of all were going on inside of me. My scars faded, and my faux-vagina became incredibly sensitive. I started getting aroused a lot more often. My breasts grew larger as well. I was starting to resemble a young model who was serious about physical fitness!

And by young, I swear, I had the body of an 18 year-old! I had to work out constantly to burn off excess energy, and I ate like a damn horse!

“We're nearing the final phase. I wish I could have gotten more growth and muscle on your frame, but I think this is about your peak level. Tonight, I'll administer the Herakles and some adrenaline so we can try to awaken your metagene fully; what I've done so far is only a fraction of your true potential.”

“A fraction? God, I feel more like a woman all the time!”

“When this is over, there will be no difference between you and someone who was born female. I promise.”

I was so excited I felt giddy!

-

“So Herakles, I thought you said that was the basis of your Athena to begin with?”

“Yes, but I realized I had gone about things a bit backwards. We developed it first, so I took it first, before Athena. But if it was done in the reverse order...I think the effects will be much more dramatic.”

“Let's do this!”

She injected me with the serum, and then adrenaline...right in the heart, ow! My heart was about to pound out of my rib cage, I felt like I was going into arrest! I was going to die...oh fuck...

“I am sorry, Cathy. But one day, you will thank me.” She got out a taser and she shocked me...and everything went...

Chapter Two: In Woman We Trust

“Jade, I need a sitrep.” The young woman known as American Dream raced down the crowded street on her monster bike.

“Looks like a hostage situation, some kind of female supremacist group, if you can believe it.”

Courtney blinked. “Oh for the love of...please tell me they're not called Valkyries or something?”

“Dies Walkure, actually. Day of the Valkyrie.”

“I told you not to tell me that! So ok, women with guns?”

“And some kind of nonlethal nerve gas.”

Dream groaned. “Great. Girls with guns and nerve toxin. What's your ETA?”

“About ten minutes, I swear though, if you can buy me that much time, I have an atom bomb with me.”

The young woman smiled to herself. “You mean there's something scarier than you around?”

“I'm not scary...am I?”

“Hold that thought, I'm going to engage in nine seconds.”

“Good luck, Dream.”

-

A busload of college football players. As choices of hostages go, that wouldn't be Dream's first choice. They had used the bus to form a barricade, blocking the entrance to the subterranean parking garage. The police had already been notified to make an opening for her. The bike would take some damage, but Uncle Sam owed her quite a bit, so...as long as it got the job done!

Dream cut sharply to the right, the bike skidding along the ground sideways, scraping away it's paint job. She leaped off just before it hit the bus, narrowly avoiding gunfire. Not that she really needed to avoid the gunfire, but old habits die hard.

Flipping in mid-air, she threw down a pair of flash-bangs, and landed on top of the bus in a crouch. Replaying the stunt in her mind, she had to admit, she made this look good!

She unslung her MP5, slid a clip into it, and switched of the safety. She hated using lethal force, but these women were armed with Soviet bloc stuff. AK-74's, mostly. She lay down some suppressing fire, and the women (mostly college age, if you can believe it) took cover.

She wasn't sure how she was going to move the bus, they had damaged the tires and probably ruined the engine block. Just then, she heard the tumble of an object landing on the roof, and only her metahuman reflexes allowed Dream to react fast enough to kick the grenade off the bus!

“Jade...where are you?!”

“Look up!”

Courtney did, and to her suprise, saw Jade carrying a stunning redhead. Who she then dropped. To Dream's amazement, the redhead grew as she fell, and when she landed on the street, her body cracked the concrete with such force that a shockwave knocked all of the terrorists on their derrieres!

Dream had trouble standing, even with her agility, but then a green light struck her, and she was floated safely to the ground. “You weren't kidding about the atom bomb! So that's Giganta?”
Jade used her ring to disarm the women. “Oh yeah. Doris, think you can move that bus?”

Giganta swelled to the height of a four story building and crackled her knuckles. “No problem, Boss!”

She grabbed the bus, the frame twisting in protest, and casually shoved it to the side, revealing the entrance to the parking garage. There was a sign saying MAX HEADROOM 12'. “Oh doesn't that figure.”

She shrank down to about a fourth of her current height. “This is the best I can do, Jade.”

“It'll do just fine, Doris. Let's do this!”

-

The three heroines knew they were heading into a trap, but what choice did they have? Still, only years of intense combat experience gave Dream the warning. “Move!”

A grenade launcher fired a canister of rapidly-spreading greyish mist in their direction; while Giganta and Dream moved aside, Jade held her ground, a green light from her ring surrounding the mist in a translucent emerald bubble. Gas will be neutralized in 13.6 seconds.

“Jeez, thanks for the update...stupid ring...”

Dream didn't wait to listen to Jade's complaining; she'd worked with the Green Lantern before, as much as she grouched, she was very competent. She moved ahead, Giganta keeping up with her easily with her longer strides.

A woman dressed like some kind of Norse warrior stepped into view. She was tall, over 6', with short blonde hair, and striking features. She carried a very large axe as well. “You have done well to come this far, but you will go no further!”

Giganta gasped. “Amy?!”

The woman frowned. “...do I know you?”

“But...you died, I saw it!”

The neo-valkyrie's eyes widened. “No...it can't be...Damon?!”

“Sorry ladies, this isn't a good time for a reunion.” Dream pulled her Colt out of it's holster and aimed it at the woman's head. “Put the axe down, or else.”

The tall woman chuckled. “The American Dream. The government's feeble attempt to improve on my work! Well, prepare yourself to meet....Miss America!”

A woman stepped into view. She was wearing a blue bodysuit with a star emblem on the chest, red gauntlets, and red and white stripes along her midsection. Dream noted idly that unlike her costume, this one covered almost all of the woman's body. Her cowl had a large white 'A' on the forehead, and she was carrying a large, disc-shaped shield. Dream raised an eyebrow? "A shield? Really?"

Dream fired at the woman, who casually ducked into a crouch, using the shield as cover. The bullets bounced off as if the thing was a piece of tank armor; the red and white paint on it's surface wasn't even scratched! Then, in a fluid motion, the woman tossed her shield like a discus, and Dream could barely roll to the side to avoid it! Ok, maybe I shouldn't have insulted her weapon choice!

“Miss America. She is better than you. Stronger, more mature. And unlike you, a real woman, not some piece of dressed-up jailbait!”

“Amy, you're seriously twisted.” Giganta threw a punch at 'Amy', who barely blocked with her axe. The handle of the axe, despite being metal, bent in response to Giganta's blow, even as the cement beneath her cracked.

That's right, Giganta could increase her density. Useful, that. 'Miss America' charged Courtney, who casually picked up the woman's shield and threw it at her. “Here, you dropped this!”

Stupid, I could have shot her when she didn't have the cover...I must be getting soft!

Miss America grabbed her shield in mid-air, and reversed it's momentum with such speed that Dream couldn't dodge, it hit her in the shoulder, and it immediately went numb. No joke, this woman was really strong!

But Courtney wasn't done yet, ignoring the pain with gritted teeth, she raised the gun. “Take another step, Missy, and I'll put a bullet right through that big A of yours.”

Meanwhile, 'Amy' was wrestling with the taller Giganta; it was evident that while she wasn't as strong as the giantess, she was a much better fighter, and got some savage blows in. Dream couldn't be sure how hurt Giganta really was, but she couldn't move to help.

She had to think of something! “Whoever you are, is this really what you want to be? A lackey for a terrorist? If you really believe in America, you'd be helping us!”

The woman looked confused, uncertain. Almost like she'd been drugged...Courtney saw green light behind her. “Jade, can your ring counter mind control?!”

“That's what the tech manual says!”

“She's under some kind of hypnosis, I think!”

A green light fired out of Jade's ring, as she attempted to bolster the willpower of the young woman.

-

“What...where...” I held a hand to my head. Idly, I noticed a pair of women behind me with guns. No time to think! “Give me the shield!”

American Dream tossed the shield at me. I couldn't remember when I'd learned to use it, but it felt like an extension of my arm. How long had Deidre been controlling me while I slept? I charged forward, using the shield to block the weapons fire. I shield-bashed the first gunwoman, and threw it at the second, taking both down. Then I grabbed one of the fallen rifles.

Giganta had finally overpowered Deidre, and had her pinned to the floor. I saw Jade hovering nearby, using her ring to create a large broom, of all things, which she was using to quite literally sweep up the other women. I walked up and put the gun to Deidre's head. “You used me. You turned my dreams against me, tried to turn me into your pawn!”

“No, Sister, I freed you! This is the way it has to be!”

“Put the gun down.” Dream was at my side.

“You don't understand! All I wanted was...I didn't want this! She got into my head, made me into a terrorist!

“Yes! I did, but it was a necessary sacrifice! The metagene is the prophet! The day will come when women will rule the world, and men will become a sad footnote in history!”

Giganta sighed. “Amy...what happened to you?”

“Amy Zhan is dead. I am Superia now!”

The gun shook in my hands. “Damn you! Damn you!” I wanted to pull the trigger. I really did! But I couldn't. I wanted to be a mother...could I nurture a child inside of me, if I became a murderer?

I dropped the gun, and sank to my knees, crying. “I...I can't!”

American Dream put her arms around me. “It's ok. Everything is going to be ok.”

Chapter Three: To Live Free

Jade was kind enough to give me a lift back to my apartment, concealing my costume with her Power Ring. She promised to pick me up later, as she had to get Doris back home. I was burning to ask Giganta more questions about Deidre, but I guessed it would have to wait.

As I walked up to my door, I realized my costume didn't have pockets, or even a belt to store things. Not only was that a silly oversight, it meant I didn't have my keys. I walked up to the door. “What are the odds I left the door unlocked?”

I felt very strange for a moment, and then I turned the handle. It opened! “Weird...”

Tossing the shield on my couch, I walked into the bathroom and stripped. Wow, is not the word. I held my C-cup breasts with a big goofy smile on my face, and busted out the measuring tape. 36-26-36, my my! Even though I wasn't as buff-looking as Deidre was, I could feel the firm muscles under my skin. “Honey, you are so hot!”

I sat down on the toilet seat and cried, unable to believe that I had finally become a real woman, and a beautiful one, at that! “Ok, come on you big blubbering bitch, let's get cleaned up.”

The shower felt so good, and I marveled at how tall I was now. For the first time in recent memory I really explored my womanly parts, and if my arousal and burning face were any indications, everything was in perfect order!

My hair had grown longer, but I really didn't know what to do with it, so I just tied it back in a ponytail. I really did have a striking resemblance to American Dream, looking a lot like her older sister. I barely resembled my old self at all; I could walk up to Dad on the street and he'd probably check me out, the old bastard!

I giggled at the thought. Of course, I had nothing that really fit me, though I was loath to put the costume Deidre had made for me back on. It wasn't bad looking, I actually liked how it didn't turn me into cheesecake, but it was hot, and I had felt pretty sticky taking it off.

I rummaged in my closet until I found an oversized Seattle Seahawks shirt I usually used as evening wear; where once it had fallen to about mid-thigh, it seemed to fit me just fine now! I fit into some cutoff sweatpants I had as well, but I hoped Jade didn't mind me going sans brassiere...mine didn't fit me at all!

Shoes were out as well...my God, I was going to have to do some serious shopping! The thought excited me more than a little, although I really didn't have the money for it. It occurred to me that I wasn't going to get my extra credit either.

Then again, I looked and felt years younger, so maybe I could afford to take some time off from my grad studies? Heck, forget Biophysics, I was a superhero now, right?

I sat down and got out my pack of cards and started playing Solitaire as I thought.

Deidre...Superia...she may have turned me into a weapon. But a weapon can protect as well. She gave me a shield, not a sword. I guess she understood me better than I thought. Miss America...what a joke.

Even as she ranted about the objectification of women, she named me after a damn beauty queen? No, if I'm going to be a hero, a protector...I need to keep an open mind. America has a lot of different kinds of people. Different thoughts, different ideals. But we all hold one thing sacred.

Freedom. Freedom to choose any path in life we cared to. Superia had tried to take my Freedom away, but I vowed to never let my judgment be clouded again.

So I would be Free Spirit. I liked the sound of that.

I then noticed that I'd won every game of solitaire, which never happened. Weird. But before I could think about it more, the doorbell rang, and I knew my ride was here.

-

Flying is one of those things you just have to do in order to appreciate. The physical closeness to Jade made me realize just what an attractive woman she was, and I started feeling those crazy urges again. Urges I no longer had any real need to deny myself! Well, then again, if I was going to work with Jade, I should be professional, right? Oh man, was it hard though!

How to describe going into space? Or visiting a spacecraft parked on the moon's dark side? God, I can't. I was terrified, but also awed beyond belief. It took me a few moments to realize Jade was talking to me!

“Oh, um, sorry!” I blushed.

“It's ok, it has that effect on people. And you've had a rough day.”

Now that she mentioned it, I was feeling a bit on edge. “Ugh, maybe I should have napped or something.”

She smiled. “It's ok, why don't you go lay down for a bit, we can talk later.”

“Thank you, I'd like that.”

And so I lay down, on a bed, the thrumming engines of the starship helping me drift off to sleep. I could really get used to this...

To be continued...

Free Spirit-1 by Lynceus Cathy Webster once only dreamed of being a real woman. Now, her dream has come true, but what will the future hold for Free Spirit?

Chapter Three, Continued:

I woke up feeling a whole lot better. It's a strange thing, to wake up on board a space cruiser, but my life hasn't exactly been devoid of weird stuff lately; after awhile, you just start to go with the flow. I stood up and stretched. I couldn't get over how much I'd changed; I was tall and athletic in a way I'd never imagined I could be!

I got down on the floor and began doing push-ups. I work out a lot, and I normally do fifty push-ups every morning. I barely felt any exertion after the first fifty, so I did another fifty. And another after that. Around 250 push-ups, I realized I could do this for an hour, easily!

The world record for the most push-ups in one hour is something like 1,900. I wasn't sure if I could beat that record, but I was sure I could at least get close to that benchmark! Still, that was enough for now. I still had my kata, the next part of my morning routine.

Not that I had any idea what time it was, mind you. Being in space does that to you, I guess. I flew through my forms, and I felt like I'd improved here as well; I didn't remember it, but there was no doubt in my mind that Deidre had been forcing me to train while I was under her influence.

I carefully re-ran my kata in my mind, and realized I had adopted some new techniques, that I knew weren't considered to be part of my style, the Eight-Step Mantis. I'd been fortunate to find a Mantis instructor not far from the college; what had attracted me most to the style was it's emphasis on movement. The kata I used didn't really showcase that; just like my home, the compartment of the ship didn't have much free space. But when you put it all together, you're almost constantly in motion, using your momentum for attack and defense.

I wasn't really sure how to incorporate my shield into the style, however. I'd seen some Mantis sword demonstrations, but Mantis shield? I'd need some help. But from where? I couldn't really just walk up to Sifu and say: “Hi I'm Cathy, I know, I look totally different now. Hey can I get some pointers?”

Thinking about that made me realize that my life had fundamentally changed. I didn't really resemble my old self enough to convince anyone who I was. Which meant my campus ID was useless. My driver's license as well...

I wasn't Cathy Webster anymore, and I wasn't sure what to do next. Well, take that back. I knew what my next move was. Find the bathroom, get a shower, and then, breakfast!

-

Like any other kind of vessel, fresh water isn't something that you can easily waste, and so I found myself faced by a Sci Fi convention; the sonic shower! I like my showers hot, so it didn't heat up my core temperature the way I like, but on the other hand, it does feel pretty good, like a full-body massage. The effect on my more sensitive anatomy was also quite pleasant; only my inability to figure out how to increase the intensity of the sonic vibrations kept me from my first real orgasm as a woman!

Sadly, I was just left aroused but unsatisfied. But clean, at the least. My skin felt very smooth, and I noticed that, as a side effect, it had neatly removed my body hair. Even in places I would be very leery about shaving, if you get my meaning!

It hadn't done anything to my lashes, brows, or scalp that I noticed. Which was good, full-body baldness probably wouldn't be a good look for me! The shower had to be programmable, and I guess I'd just experienced the 'Jade' setting.

After getting dressed, I stepped out into the corridor, and smelled something really good. Sniffing the air, I followed the aroma, eventually finding the dining room.

“Well look who's up!” Giganta waved to me. Her name was Doris, I recalled. “Pancakes?”

I only recognized a few others in the room American Dream wasn't there, but in addition to Giganta, there was a dark haired girl sitting next to Giganta, and a pair of girls who greatly resembled one another, save that one was a blonde, and the other had dark green hair.

The green-haired girl was wearing a variation of Jade's outfit, and I realized this was the second Green Lantern.

“Um, hi everyone. I'm Cathy.” I sat down, feeling a little nervous at meeting the other girls.

The raven-haired girl smiled. “I'm Lena.”

The blonde seemed to be...I don't know, I think she was checking me out, which was both flattering and a little weird, since she couldn't be much older than 16. “Alison, very pleased to meet you.” She grinned.

“Jeez, Ali.” The Green Lantern sighed. “Please forgive my sister, she's impossible.” She held up her hand, and a green light came from the ring she wore. Using it's power, she glided a plate of food over to me. “Coffee, milk, or orange juice?”

“Milk will be fine, thank you.” It was definitely a novel way to be served!

“I'm Alena, by the way.”

“Please to meet you...are you all heroes?”

Alison laughed. “Oh no hon, I might have powers, but you won't catch me rocking the spandex. Even if I would look good in it.”

Lena shook her head as well, and I noticed she was leaning against Doris, implying that they were very close. “I wish, but no, I'm more-or-less normal.”

“Yeah, her DNA doesn't have powers, it's just evil.” Alison quipped.

“Ali!” Alena frowned, but Lena just giggled.

“Oh lighten up, Sis! Funny, I thought I was the older twin.”

“Older doesn't make you more responsible.”

I smiled, thinking of my own sister, who I hadn't talked to in years. She just hadn't been able to accept her big brother wanting to become a woman. Still, she took it better than Mom had, and, well, I'd never even bothered to tell Dad. No point in it.

Thinking about my family put a damper on my mood.

“Cathy? Are you alright?”

I looked up and noticed Alena was staring at me intently. For the first time I realized her eyes were glowing with light green light. Her expression was deeply concerned.

I blushed. “Can you read my mind or something?”

She shook her head. “No, I just...pick up on things. It's alright if you don't want to talk about it, but you're with friends here.”

“Too bad you missed Dream and Terra though. Although I think Dream's kind of a prude.” Alison, I realized, was the kind of girl who spoke her mind. Always, whether you wanted her to or not. I couldn't help but like her.

Doris chuckled. “It was probably the way you were leering at her. You're just a little aggressive, Alison.”

Lena looked up at the taller girl. “I thought you liked it when girls are aggressive?”

Doris put an arm around Lena, kissing the girl's dark hair. “I do, but I'm also spoken for.”

Alison sighed. “Jeez, you two...”

Alena gave her sister a wry look. "You might want to quit while you're ahead, Sis."

Alison frowned and didn't reply. There was a story there, I was certain of it!

“Wow, there's still food left?” Jade walked into the room.

Doris pushed her plate away. “Sorry. My powers seem to require a lot of calories.”

“You and Alison both! I don't know where you put it!” Alena shook her head in amazement.

Alison patted her (quite flat) tummy. “One of the advantages of being a shapeshifter, Sis. Unlike you, I don't have to eat like a damn bird.”

Alena shrugged. “I just don't need as much food, that's all.”

“I take it you've been introduced to everyone? I don't normally have so many visitors at once, only a few of us are capable of space-flight.” Jade sat down next to me.

"Speaking of which, I better get Ali back to London before you-know-who escapes again."

Alison glared at her sister. "It was just the one time! She promised she'd stay put!"

Her twin shook her head. "Uh-huh. You might be soft in the head, but I'm not..."

The door to the room closed, cutting off the rest of Alena's sentence.

“Nice girls.” I smiled.

“Yeah, they're really good kids, and despite appearances, they do care about each other a lot.” Jade nodded.

“Oh, I know. I have a sister of my own.” I sighed.

“You haven't talked to her in awhile.”

I turned and looked at Lena. “I thought you said you didn't have powers?”

Lena favored me with a soft smile. “Don't need them. I haven't seen my sister in months either.”

“Years, for me. I guess I'll tell you the whole story.”

-

No one interrupted me, which helped; some parts of my story were difficult to talk about, even now. Jade seemed more withdrawn than before, however. Something I'd said had definitely made an impression on the young woman, although I wasn't sure what it could be.

Doris stood up and walked over to me, giving me a hug. I was surprised at first, but then I accepted it. “Thank you, Doris.”

“I'm sorry Amy used you like that. She..she isn't a bad person. I don't know where that anger comes from. That drive to prove she's better than any man.”

“She called you Damon.”

“Yeah. I used to be a man. Kind of.” She chuckled ruefully. “I was born intersexed, and even though I looked more like a girl than a boy, my parents decided to try and make me into a man.”

Ouch. I could relate to that!

“I used to work with Amy, I'm a geneticist and a biochemist, although not as brilliant as she is.”

I put two and two together. “She said I reminded her of you. How did she put it...she said you were the strongest man she had ever known.”

Lena laughed. “Now that's ironic.”

“Ain't it though? I thought she was dead, I had no idea she was building an army!” Doris shook her head.

“I didn't either, and I was working with her all summer. Although she was doing something to me at night. Just to use that shield, she would have had to train me for weeks.”

“Which reminds me, that's kind of why I'm here. If you don't mind, I'd like to draw some blood and run a few tests, to see if I can get a handle on what she did to you.”

I nodded. “I...want to find something out as well.”

Doris squeezed my shoulder. “I know.”

Chapter Four: The New Deal

I was laying on a bed in the starship's medical bay. It wasn't very large, but the equipment was very advanced. Lena seemed to understand how it worked better than anyone; that girl is so smart it makes me dizzy trying to keep up with her!

Doris had me wait a few minutes while she examined her findings. “Ok. I have some good news. Double-X chromosomes, you're definitely female. You also have a uterus and a womb, although it looks a little small. That may change over time, but as your Doctor, I advise you be careful testing out your new equipment.”

I blushed. “I want to be a mother, but not quite yet.”

“Also...” She coughed. “Your vagina is fully formed, including the hymen. You're a virgin, so take that into consideration as well.”

“Ah. Uh, yeah, I will.”

Lena laughed. “Jeez you two, this is perfectly natural, and you're both acting like a couple of boys!”

“Dear, biology aside, we are a couple of boys.”

Lena just chuckled. “At least you're not a virgin anymore.”

“Argh, too much information!” I really did not want to know about their relationship!

“It bothers you, doesn't it?” Doris looked at me.

“I...a little. And that bothers me more, because it shouldn't. It really shouldn't!”

“It bothered me too. Lena's very mature and a bona fide genius, but...I'm like twice her age! Chronologically, at least.”

Lena walked over to stand next to her lover. “It took me awhile to get her over it, it's okay if you don't approve. I was surprised too, really. I thought it was just, you know, infatuation! But...what I feel for her is too deep for that. I can't say that it's love, but I think it is.”

“We try not to be blatant about our relationship in public.”

“I...don't feel that you have to hide from me. You're in love, I can tell that, and it's...a wonderful thing. I wasn't lying when I told Alison I was jealous of you both. I guess even becoming a woman, the hard way, hasn't completely de-programmed me. It's an ideal I've always embraced, the freedom to live the life you want to....well, as long as nobody gets hurt. But I can't see how your relationship has done anything but make you both stronger.” I paused. “Ugh, I must sound pretty pretentious.”

“I don't think so.” I turned to see Jade standing in the doorway. “You have strong beliefs, and you're passionate about them.”

“I don't know how strong they are, if Superia was able to control me like that.”

Jade walked up to me and, after the briefest hesitation, put her hand on my shoulder. We're about the same height, and she looked me dead in the eye. The determination in her eyes was both compelling, and a little scary! But I also felt that she understood me on some level.

I realized her secret then. I wonder if any of the others knew? It wasn't my place to say anything; I hadn't earned her trust yet.

“Cathy, she used your emotions against you. It took her a long time, and it's horrible what she did. You had one impossible dream, and she warped it into a way to control you. But once I added my will to yours, you were yourself again. Think about that for a moment. No residual effects, no psychological damage. You shrugged off her influence, completely freeing your mind, and becoming your own person. Most people wouldn't be able to do that. I know that.”

I smiled. “Thank you, Jade. I guess I knew that, but I feel so ashamed that I let myself be used like that.”

“You know, there was something I noticed.” Doris spoke up.

I looked to her.

“You focused your attacks on Dream, who is very hard to hurt. You could have helped Amy beat me, for example, but you never even gave her a second glance. I think on some level, you were trying not to hurt anyone.”

I frowned. “I don't know...I didn't know what Dream's powers were. And Superia put me in that costume just to taunt Dream, right?” What I was saying was logical, but I wasn't so sure. Maybe there was something to what Doris had said. “I'll have to think about it. I just want to know that I can be trusted. I mean, in the comics, people get brainwashed all the time, but this is real life...I think.”

I laughed. “It's hard to be sure anymore, I mean, in real life, people don't have superpowers.”

“Those powers will just make your life more difficult. Trust me on that.” Jade spoke again.

“She's not lying, I can vouch for that.” Doris nodded.

“I know. I can already see how it's going to be hard for me. The person I was doesn't exist anymore. I don't look anything like Cathy Webster. I don't have a job, so I'll lose my place, I can't pay my student loans...and, well, I can't even attend classes now!”

“I can help with that, Cathy.”

I smiled at Jade. “Thanks, but it's alright. I can make a clean break this way, and try to build a new life for myself. I still want my Ph.D, but it can wait. I'm a teenager again, so it's not like I don't have time, right?”

“So what do you want to do?”

“I want to help people. Now, not some day off in the future. And I can do that now, with the powers I have. Even Superia couldn't change who and what I am, and I think she knew that. Why else give me a shield, and not a sword? A shield is used to protect people, and that's what I want to do now.”

Jade nodded slowly. “That won't be easy, you know that, right?”

“Yes, I know. But you made that choice. And so did you, Doris. And Terra, and Alena, and all the others. I could be selfish with what I've been given, but...I wanted to be a mother. And a parent, a good one, has to be able to put her family, the people she cares about, above her own life. Or his life.”

I shrugged. “Yes, I want to be a hero. I guess you could say you've inspired me. But I'm not just blindly following your lead. I want to inspire people too! Because I used to live in fear, not knowing who and what I was. I sacrificed so much to be free, to be the person I wanted to be. To live the life I wanted to live. If I can show other people that it's possible, that dreams can come true, if you're willing to fight for them, then I can make the world a better place. The kind of world I'd want to raise a family in.”

I stopped, but I realized no one was saying anything. I'd gotten up on my soapbox again. Great. But before I could apologize, Lena started to clap.

And then Doris joined her. Jade just smiled, and gave me a thumbs up. “That's the kind of hero this world needs, Cathy. More than anything.” She then held out her hand, palm up, holding a ring that looked a lot like the one she herself wore. “I want you to have this. It will let us all stay in contact with one another, and, as a side effect, it can disguise your appearance. Create costumes, clothing, and even let you be Cathy Webster again. Although I will warn you, it can only do so much about your height.”

I slowly took it from her hand, and slid it on my finger. “How does it work?”

“Just will the changes, and they'll happen.”

I concentrated, and changed my clothing, until I was wearing the costume Superia had given me. Although, this one was a lot more comfortable. “Free Spirit, reporting for duty, Ma'am.”

Jade grinned. “You don't have to be a soldier. Honestly, I don't think you'd be a very good one. And that's fine. I don't need someone who follows orders blindly. With the kind of powers we all have, it's easy to fall into a trap, thinking you're a God and can do no wrong. I know that you'll keep us honest.”

“I'll do my best.”

“That's all I will ever ask.”

-

Jade was able to use her ring to alter some of my records. My Driver's license, for example, now has my correct height and weight, and a new picture. I dropped my classes, and gave my landlord notice; it was time to move, and make a new life for myself.

Lena even gave me a loan. Well, she tried to make it a gift, but I will pay her back one day. Somehow. I'm not sure where I'll go yet, or what I'll do when I get there. For now, I realize there's something I need to do.

As much as I talked about making a clean break, I need closure. Which meant it was time to go home again, if only long enough to confront my family. It's the only way I'll ever be free.

And from here on, freedom is what I'm all about.

To be continued...

Free Spirit-2 by Lynceus Determined to move forward, Cathy decides to confront her past. But can you go home again?

Chapter Five: Small Town Girl

Macomb, Illinois. As I drive into town, I can't say it hasn't changed, because it obviously has. New businesses have sprung up, and old ones I remember are long gone. But at it's core, a small town remains a small town.

I'd driven all night to get here, and I was looking forward to getting some rest; one of the big advantages of my van is that I just need a place to park, and I can crash in the back. It's a late-model Chevy, black and slightly weathered, but she runs just fine. Dream can keep her monster motorcycle, if I ever get a Spiritmobile, I think I'll go with a van.

Maybe it's because I'm tired and hopped up on caffeine, but the idea of a riding around in a van with a patriotic paint job makes me giggle. I pulled into the parking lot of the Hampton Inn, grabbed my bags, and walked in to claim my reservation. I'd only made one modification to the van so far; my shield is stashed in a smuggler's compartment in the back.

Even if it came from Superia, I'm pretty attached to my shield, but it's not the thing you can carry into a hotel without incident. I had to give the staff credit; they had me in my room in under ten minutes. I set my stuff down, got undressed, and crawled into bed.

I was out in minutes. I keep having strange dreams of being weightless, unable to feel anything around me. All those nights spent in Deidre's sensory-deprivation tank, subjected to whatever brainwashing method she'd employed, had left their mark, I suppose. What bothers me the most is that I simply can't remember what went on when I wasn't 'awake'. It's quite literally lost time to me.

Morning comes all too quickly, and I roll out of bed. I'd been following the same routine for so long that I stopped using my alarm clock a year ago. Three hundred push-ups, and my morning kata, as usual. The sonic shower was interesting, but I vastly prefer hot water; and thankfully, the hotel's water heater didn't spazz out on me.

Speaking of the sonic shower, the body hair I'd lost in it still showed no signs of regrowing. I was starting to think maybe it never would, either to some property of the shower's settings, or maybe my mutation. There was definitely something funny going on with my body. In almost every respect, I appear to be a normal human female in superb physical condition.

Except for the fact that I can press about six tons of weight. Yeah, you hear that right. My muscles shouldn't be able to do it, and the caloric burn should be immense, but it isn't really. Doris is convinced that what's going on isn't psionic, however. I need to properly brace myself to apply my strength, and most things that actually weigh six tons aren't designed for a human to lift, even a superstrong one. I remember the first time astronauts on the space shuttle attempted to move a satellite by hand. It wasn't the weight that was the problem, it was the mass.

I'm far from the strongest metahuman, of course, but the stronger ones tend to cheat. Jade has some kind of telekinesis with her ring, and Doris can grow to about 70' tall (and that number is increasing all the time). I'm educated enough to know all of this is impossible, but like the Bumblebee, it flies anyways.

Although in the case of the bee, it's just that the math is wrong. I don't know how I feel about the science itself being wrong in the case of metahumans; I spent too much time learning this stuff for it to be all wrong!

I get a free continental breakfast that leaves me peckish; I don't eat as much as some of my fellow metas, but I do have a healthy appetite. I swipe an extra danish when no one is looking. I know, hardly heroic of me, but who can resist a good cream cheese danish? Not me, that's for sure.

My sister still lives in town, and she's the one I figure I'll try to see first. She and her husband Greg have a realty business that does rather well. I just hoped I could catch her before she left for work! Judging from the pristine state of their front lawn, I guessed they didn't have any kids yet.

To say I felt apprehensive when I walked up to the front door is an understatement. I'd used the ring Jade had given me to change my appearance; now I just looked like a taller, healthier version of my former self. I hated the deception, but this would be a lot harder if Sis didn't even recognize me!

I rang the doorbell, this cold pit of fear forming in my stomach. There were a million ways this could go wrong, and my inner voice was screaming 'Abort! Abort!'. But I'd come too far to back off now.

Greg answered the door. He's not the kind of guy I expected my sister to go for; when she was younger, she always went for the tall, buff guys. Greg is about 5' 9” and wears glasses, making him look a little nerdy. But he's not bad looking at all, with grey eyes that I always compared to Professor Charlotte's, and this brown hair that seemed to naturally resist any attempt to style it for long. He's also one of the sweetest guys I've ever met.

“Hey, can I help you...” He trailed off, taking a good look at me. “Cash?”

“Guilty as charged.” I forced a smile.

“Sweet Jesus..” Oh man, here it came.

Then he hugged me. “You look great! Come on, let's get you inside! You've been working out, huh?”

Greg had always been nice to me, but the hug had taken me completely off guard! Like a zombie, I simply followed his lead. “Honey! Get down here, we have company!”

He turned to me. “Have you had breakfast?”

“Uh, yeah, actually...” My stomach chose that exact moment to growl at me.

He chuckled. “You're as bad as Rose. I'll fix you an omelette, and no, you don't get a choice. Rose likes ham, cheese, green peppers and pineapple, you?”

I licked my lips. “Sounds...strangely good. I'll try it!”

“Get whatever you want to drink out of the fridge.” He put on an apron and busied himself at the stove. Aha, so that's why she married him. He can cook!

I heard footsteps enter the room. “So who's our mystery guest, hon...oh my God.”

I turned and saw Rose for the first time in years. She used to one of those pencil-thin types, but I could tell she'd filled out some. Married life must definitely agree with her. Her facial expression was one of total shock.

“...Cash?” Her voice sounded really young.

I nodded. “Hi Sis.”

“I...I need to sit down.” She reached for a chair and almost fell into it. “You're..”

“Tall! I guess she had a late growth spurt or something.” Greg chimed in, seemingly unfazed by, well, anything.

Rose shook her head, as if to clear it. “...I thought I'd never see you again.”

I sighed and got myself a glass of milk, sitting down. “I know you have a problem accepting me, Sis. I don't blame you, I just...I needed to come home, if only for one last time.”

“I just can't believe it...you really look like a woman!”

“Feels like one, too. Not that I was trying to uh...er...” Greg had this rather perplexed look on his face, and I couldn't help but laugh.

“I'm sorry, it's just...please, don't worry about it!”

Rose giggled. “He's really cute when he does that. Relax hon, I don't think I need to be jealous of my own br...sister.” She paused. “Sister. It seems strange saying it.”

“I'm sorry, Rose.”

She glared at me. “For what? For being who you are? God, not a day hasn't gone by that I don't kick myself for not accepting you! I knew all along that you weren't like other boys. We used to talk about everything, even girl stuff, and you...you...” She started crying.

“Oh man. Rose, please don't cry!” I stood and went to her. It's the one part of being a girl I've never mastered; how to handle a girl when she's crying.

She threw herself into my arms, and I held her tightly. She looks a lot like I used to, I realized. And she was so tiny, only coming up to my chest. Which is probably why she looked up at me with a frown. “Cash. Seriously, you're wearing flats, why are you so damned tall?”

I sighed. “Uh..well..about that. Are you ready for another shock?”

“I...um...no, not really. But I do want to know.”

“How about we let her eat first, hon?” Having recovered from his faux pas, Greg set down our plates.

“Oh! Food is a good idea.” She smiled and we sat down to eat.

-

“Ok, it's weird, but I really like this omelette!”

Rose giggled. “Thanks. Greg teases me about it all the time.”

“I don't! Just some of the time.”

“I can't tell you guys how happy I am that you didn't throw me out on the street.”

Greg waved that off. “That'd be pretty hypocritical of me.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“Greg's brother, Frank? He came out of the closet a few months ago. The family wasn't very happy about it. Greg's the only one who accepts him.”

Greg actually looked angry for a moment. “It's not right. He's my brother, damn it! Mom said he was dead to her, can you believe that?!”

I sighed. “Yeah, I can.”

“Oh. Yeah, sorry, I guess you could.” He sighed. “I don't care how he lives his life, he's still my brother.”

Rose looked down. “I...it got me to thinking a lot about you, Ca...Cathy.”

“Wow. You actually said it.”

She looked up at me, more than a little bashful. “I'm so sorry, Cathy. I treated you so badly.”

“It's ok. You took it better than Mom did.”

“I know this is hard for you to believe, but she really regrets that. Right around the same time Frank came out, the pastor at our old church had this sermon about gays...and Mom walked out. She hasn't been back since.”

“Woah. Mom not go to church?” I'd never known her to miss Mass, even when she was sick!

“I know! The end times are here or something. Are you going to see her?”

I nodded. “I want to. I need to talk to Dad, too.”

Her eyes bugged out. “Dad?! Are you crazy?”

“I'm not afraid of him anymore. I've met people a lot scarier than he is, and I've stood up to them. Funny, it took losing my balls to get me to man up.”

Greg laughed at that. “You got more guts than I do! I couldn't go through with that, and I know I'd make a damn pretty girl.”

“Oh yeah, you'd be a real cutie.” I smiled.

“Ha, you see? I told you!” He grinned at Rose triumphantly.

“Fine, fine, you win. But I like you the way you are.”

“Don't worry, babe, not planning on changing a thing. Unlike Frank, I'm perfectly happy liking women.” He got a funny look on his face. “I did it again, didn't I?”

“It's ok, Greg. You're not out of line. Honestly..I've been so afraid of being with someone that I never really figured out if I'm into guys or girls.”

“Oh Cathy, what are you afraid of? You're beautiful!” Rose seemed shocked by my statement.

I sighed. “Well, the surgeon did a very good job, but it leaves scars. Ones that are hard to explain.”

She got up and hugged me. “My poor sister, that's not fair! Isn't there something you can do?”

“Uh...well, yeah. There was.” I frowned. “I guess I can't put this off any longer.” I removed my disguise.

“Woah.” Greg had a kind of awed expression on his face.

Rose gasped and took a step back. “You...but...how?!”

“Sit down Sis, I have a story to tell.”

-

“That's incredible. A metahuman? Cathy, you look so young!”

I nodded. “Yeah, I know. I'm sorry for not being honest.”

“Are you kidding? If you'd showed up looking like that, I'd have tried to buy some Thin Mints off of you!” Greg winked at me. I was really happy for Sis; Greg was definitely a keeper!

Rose giggled. “Oh, couldn't you just see her in a Girl Scout uniform?”

I held up my hand and showed off the ring. “Watch this!” I changed into a scout uniform. I was a little mature for it, I thought, but I had no doubt I looked pretty hot in it.

“Oh man, and I thought you schoolgirl outfit was sexy.” Greg grinned at Rose.

“Greg!” Rose giggled. “So you can change into any kind of clothing you want?”

I nodded as I shifted into a French Maid outfit. “Of course, Mistress.”

Rose laughed so much she snorted, holding her sides. “Oh I want one of those!”

“I wish I could give you one, but this came from Jade. The Green Lantern.”

Greg raised an eyebrow. “You're one of the new heroes, then?”

“Technically. I haven't done anything heroic yet. I...needed to face my past.”

“I get it, to move on. So can we see your hero costume at least?”

I nodded and changed.

Rose blinked. “Don't they already have an American heroine?”

“American Dream, yeah. I know people will probably confuse us, but...” I shrugged.

“It's alright, I think you look awesome. So what do you call yourself?” My sister smiled.

“Free Spirit.”

“Oh, I like that. It does suit you. My sister, the superhero.”

“...it doesn't bother you that I might be doing something dangerous?”

She got up and put her arms around me. “It probably will, but right now, I feel very proud.”

-

We talked for a bit longer, until Greg gently reminded her that they did have work to do. I promised them I'd come back later that night for dinner, and Rose kissed me on the cheek as we left. I got into my van and drove off, only to park a few blocks away. Tears came that wouldn't before. I never imagined that I'd get my sister back. I wept, but with joy.

My ring glowed softly just then. “Yes?”

“Hi Cathy, is this a bad time, I just wanted to check on you.” It was Alena, which I hadn't expected.

“Oh, Alena, um...I'm fine, but thank you.”

“Are you sure, you sound like you've been crying.”

“I have, but they're good tears.” I told her everything. I don't know what compelled me to share my life with a fifteen year-old girl, but Alena listened patiently, not speaking until I was done.

“I'm so happy for you, Cathy! I'm glad that you were able to reconcile with your sister. As much as she teases me, I wouldn't trade Alison for the world, so I understand how you must feel.”

“Thank you, Alena. I...it's just so overwhelming. But now...I have to confront my Mother.”

“I got lucky. My Mom accepted me as a girl right away. I can't tell you how much I appreciate that.”

I blinked. “Wait, you used to be a boy? Are all metahumans transgendered?”

“Not all, but a lot of us are, for one reason or another. Even Doris can't explain why, what makes us change is different from person to person. Although I don't think I'm really a metahuman. I'd love to tell you the story, if you don't mind listening, but maybe it can wait for now. You have important things to do.”

“Yeah, I do. Thank you for calling...it means a lot to me.”

“Hey no problem. I'd like it if we could be friends.”

I smiled wide, even though she couldn't see it. “I could use a good friend.”

“Then you have one. Call me later if you need someone to talk to...or just to give me an update, ok?”

I wished I could hug the younger girl. Definitely, the next time I saw her. “I will.”

-

I couldn't get over how mature and thoughtful Alena was for her age. It gave me a new perspective into how Doris and Lena's relationship could work. Being an adult may have less to do with physical age than I'd previously thought.

I put the van into gear and I headed for the bank where Mom worked, making sure to re-disguise myself as 'The Old Cathy', or as close as I could be to her. According to Rose, Mom had recently become the bank manager, and I really wanted to congratulate her. If I got a chance to.

I heard an alarm as I rolled into the parking lot behind the bank. I heard police sirens in the distance, and I realized with horror that it was being robbed! I ducked into the back and got out my shield, transforming into Free Spirit.

Yeah, I know, the odds of the bank being robbed exactly as I showed up are pretty outrageous. But just then, I didn't really have the time to question it. People were in danger!

Mom had worked at the bank for years, and I knew the layout very well. I forced the rear door open (it was pretty sturdy, but it couldn't even begin to stand up to my strength) and entered the building. There were three robbers, all armed with guns, and they had the customers and employees on the floor. Henry, the security guard, was laying on the ground, bleeding. One of the young tellers was trying to help him, only to get slapped for her trouble.

“Leave him, he's dead al...” Whatever else the thug was going to say was ended by his sudden yelp of pain as I hit him with my shield, knocking him over. The other two criminals just gaped in shock as I stepped into view.

“Put your weapons down, and nobody gets hurt!” I tried to sound brave, but I knew this was a bad situation. They had guns, and hostages, and I'd just thrown away my only weapon!

“Holy fuck, it's American Dream!” Sigh.

Like morons, they both raised their guns and fired at me. Despite the fact that Dream is bulletproof. I'm not, by the way, so I was forced to move quickly to avoid being riddled with holes. I actually tripped on the carpet (something about the boots the ring made, I later realized. They don't seem to have the traction you'd expect), but as I fell forward, I did a handspring, and performed a series of forward flips, dodging the weapons fire.

If you saw the feed from the security cameras, you might think I did that on purpose. I didn't, I just got lucky; I hadn't done any serious gymnastics in years!

As luck would have it (I bet you're starting to see a trend), I ended up within reach of my shield. Grabbing it, I held it in front of me to deflect weapons fire. The bullets, thankfully, didn't hurt anyone as they ricocheted off the titanium alloy surface.

“I warned you!” I advanced on the thugs. One of them tried reaching for a hostage, but I threw my shield at him. It struck him in the arm, and then, to my amazement, bounced off and struck his partner in the head!

Both of them went down, groaning in pain. How the hell had I done that?

“Ok, that was impressive, I'll grant.” I looked ahead and saw a well-dressed man wearing a mask. He was next to the vault, holding a woman hostage, his gun aimed at her head.

Mom!

“However, unless you lay down on the floor, your hands on your head, I'll kill this woman. Can you live with that, I wonder?”

Damn it! As soon as I did that, he'd kill me anyways! But I had no choice. “Okay, just don't hurt anyone else.” I got down to my knees, and he turned his gun to aim it at me.

“Catch!” I jerked my head to the right; the young bank teller had gotten Henry's gun out of it's holster and threw it at me. The angle was all wrong, the weapon wasn't balanced for throwing. I would need a miracle! I leaped into the air, diving for it, and...I caught it! Without even worrying about the fact I was still in mid-air, I aimed the weapon and fired it at the man olding my Mother hostage. The bullet struck him in the hand, and he dropped his gun, screaming.

My Mom didn't waste any time, she knocked the man over and got his gun. “Alright everyone, please remain calm, this robbery is over! Trisha, the first aid kit is in the break room, Meg, apply pressure to the wound, the police are on their way!”

I had landed on the floor, surprisingly unhurt. As I got up, my Mother walked up to me and held out her hand. “I'm Dana Webster, and I can't thank you enough. That was an amazing shot, young lady.”

My hand started shaking in her grasp. “I...I've never fired a gun before. I could have...”

She looked up at me, her eyes kind. “Shh. You could have, but you didn't. We don't always succeed at what we set out to do...”

I smiled, and without thinking, finished her favorite saying. “...but as long as we try, we never really fail.”

She blinked at me. “Who..?”

And then the police arrived. “Freeze!”

Mom sighed and looked at the lead cop. “Steve Rogers, you lunkhead! It's over, thanks to this young lady.”

I blinked. That was Steve Rogers?! When I'd known him in high school, he'd been skinny as a rail, picked on for being weak! Wow, had he gotten seriously buff! Blonde hair, blue eyes, and those muscles...I found myself licking my lips thinking about it.

Ok, I admit it. I find both guys and girls attractive. It just makes my life that much more complicated.

“Oh, well, um, thank you, Miss. Say, aren't you American Dream?”

I had to bite my tongue not to groan.

-

I agreed to go to the station to give my statement to the police. Everyone seemed really surprised to find a superhero in their midst. Technically, what I'd done was vigilantism, but the police didn't seem to mind. Lucky me! Steve was a perfect gentleman, and unless I missed my guess, he was seriously attracted to me. I couldn't remember the last time a guy had shown an interest in me, so I admit it, I did flirt with him a little.

God, he was so dreamy, I could just eat him up! Down girl, down! He had to have a girlfriend, and I really couldn't afford a relationship at this time in my life.

He also apologized for mistaking me for American Dream. Which, really, I can't blame him for; the only time Free Spirit had seen action before now was as a villain!

When I finally got out of the police station, I found Greg and Rose waiting for me outside...and Mom!

She shook her head. “We really need to talk.”

I shot a look to Rose. “You told her?”

Rose looked away. “I...I had to.”

I sighed. “Ok, let's go.”

-

I rode with Greg, not quite ready to deal with the female members of my family just yet. Once we were away from any witnesses, I changed out of my costume into something more casual. I didn't bother assuming my old appearance. The cat was out of the bag, after all.

“Hey. Don't be mad at her. It was my fault.”

I turned to look at Greg. “How do you figure?”

“She wasn't going to tell you Mom anything, you know how stubborn they both are. But the healing has to start somewhere. I apologize if this goes badly, but...Cathy, you deserve so much better than you've gotten.”

I wanted to be mad at him, but I just couldn't. It's like being mad at a puppy. Or a stuffed animal. That's also a puppy. I sighed. “I appreciate that you tried, Greg. It's my own fault anyways.”

“Hey! You saved people today! No matter what happens, I know Rose is proud of you, and so am I. We never had a chance to get to know each other before, Cathy. But you're my damn sister-in-law, and I want to see you happy. Because if you're happy, then Rose is happy. And if Rose is happy, she'll get dressed up for me.” He grinned.

I lightly punched him in the arm. “You're such a jerk!”

“A loveable jerk, though.”

I nodded. “Very much so. I'm happy that Rose found a good man.”

“Me too.”

-

Mom and Rose were in the kitchen when we arrived. Mom looked ready to say something harsh, but Greg held up a hand. “Hold it right there. I don't often invoke my rights, but my house, my rules. If you're going to say something hurtful to Cathy, you can leave right now and never come back, Mother-in-law or not.”

I swear, both Mom and Rose got this funny look on their faces, like Greg had just grown a second head or something! I had all-new respect for him, that man has balls of steel!

Mom suddenly looked very ashamed, unable to look me in the eye. “Maybe I should go, then.”

“Can't you even look at me?” God, my voice sounded so young!

She looked up, something unreadable in her eyes.

“I know I'm not the son you wanted! I know I've been a disappointment to you! But I came here, hoping that we could try to move past that! I've cut myself off from people for so long, I don't even know who I am! I don't care if you can't accept me, or you hate me, but at least acknowledge that I exist!”

“Oh Cash...I could never hate you. Please, listen to an old, bitter woman for a moment. I've always been proud of you, you were never a disappointment. You were such a bright child, so loving. When you told me...I...I blamed myself. I thought that I had done this. That I hadn't encouraged you enough, or that I should have stood up to your father more. I...I couldn't help but think I was losing my son forever. And then I pushed you away. When I saw you earlier today, I couldn't help but think...'what an incredible young woman, her mother must be so proud!'...I'm so sorry!”

I just stood there in shock, unsure what to do. Greg gave me a little push, and whispered. “Hug her, stupid.”

I walked up to Mom and kneeled next to her, and we clung to each other. Rose joined us, and I don't know about them, but I cried for a long time.

-

Rather than cook dinner, Greg had just ordered a pizza. Mom sat on the couch, and I was on the floor at her feet. She kept playing idly with my hair. The physical contact felt really good. “I really wanted to yell at you for taking such a big risk with that gun, young lady.”

I shivered. That still scared me. Dream is the firearms expert, I'm just a girl who got lucky. Really lucky. “I'm sorry...I just...”

“Shh, oh honey, don't. I would have done the same thing, at least, back when I was young and athletic.”

“You're not that old, Mom.” Which was true, she was only 52, and looked younger.

“Thank you, dear. Oh, why was I so blind! I should have realized that I never had a son, instead, I had two beautiful daughters.”

Rose snorted. “I can think of a good reason why. He's about 6' 1”, short grey hair, and the attitude of a starving bear.”

Mom sighed. “Yes, I know. I always turned a blind eye to his faults, because I love him so much. I know he's an impossible, stubborn old bastard. But he has some good qualities.”

“I need to see him.”

I felt her fingers clench in my hair, but she immediately relaxed her grip. “I understand. But I don't think he can accept you, honey.”

“I know. That's not why. I spent my whole childhood living in fear of this distant father-figure that only rarely showed any kind of affection. I tried everything I could to get his approval, even denied what I really was. And nothing was ever good enough. I didn't run away from you guys, I ran from him.”

“I'm sorry I wasn't a better parent...Cathy.”

I turned to look up at her.

“It's your name, isn't it? I may be a fool, but I can learn from my mistakes. You're a beautiful, intelligent, and brave young woman, and maybe you always were one. I just couldn't let myself see that. If you can forgive me...I'd like to be proud of my daughter again.”

-

I didn't get back to my hotel room until late. My mind was in a daze, and I felt exhausted. Between the emotional rollercoaster of dealing with my estranged family, to the sheer terror of dealing with the bank robbers, I couldn't take any more. I needed sleep.

But one thing kept nagging at the back of my mind. The way everything had fallen into place for me today was simply unreal! The more I thought about it, the more impossible it sounded, like this was some weird dream, and I'd wake up any minute.

Was it possible for someone to have mutant luck powers?! I'd have to ask Doris...later....but right now...

To be continued...

Free Spirit-3 by Lynceus Cathy has learned a lot about herself this trip, and she's about to learn a lot more. And finally confront her greatest enemy...her own father!

Chapter Six: To Live Without Fear

“If we take the generally accepted definition of bravery as a quality which knows no fear, I have never seen a brave man. All men are frightened. The more intelligent they are, the more they are frightened.” -George S. Patton

Morning again. I sit up and yawn. It feels really good to stretch. All night I kept dreaming about the robbery. In my dreams, I wasn't the hero. I shivered, thinking of what could have happened if I had missed when I fired that gun. I could have been shot. I could have shot my mom.

I quake with fear, gasping for breath, it's like my blood just turned to ice water. I do the only thing that makes sense, I give myself a good, hard slap. Well, not too hard. I'm super-strong, not invulnerable. It's one of those little paradoxes that I've come to live with. If I'm not careful, I can really hurt myself!

The pain brings clarity, and I stand up, slowly stretching my limbs. No push-ups today, I need to find my center. I move through my kata slowly, reaching for the warm ball of qi just below my center of gravity. Slowly, I wake that fire, and let it flow through my body, warming my muscles.

My sifu once told me that anxiety is a poison that gathers in the heart. You must force the poison to flow out of your body. Harmony between mind and body must be maintained, as your own doubts are more deadly than any opponent.

I crouch down and slide my shield out from under my bed, running my hands along it's flawless surface. I know I shouldn't have snuck it into my room, but having it comforts me. That's when I notice my ring is flashing.

I look at it oddly. “Uh...missed calls?”

You have two messages. Neither are marked urgent.

I blinked. That was the first time I'd ever heard the ring speak! I didn't even know it could! “First message, please?”

Message from Jade: “Hey, I heard about the bank robbery. I'm impressed, no lives were lost. If you need to talk about what happened, let me know, ok?”

I smiled. It was good to know that Jade cared about us. I might talk to her, later. Maybe she could understand why I kept dwelling on what could have gone wrong, instead of what had gone right?

Next message, from Alena: “You didn't call me, but I'm guessing you had a long day. Jade mentioned something about a bank robbery, and a hostage situation. Those are really scary, the first time it happened to me, I kept tossing and turning that night. What if? What if someone had gotten hurt, even killed? What if it had been my fault? Hang in there, Cathy. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try...” I distinctly heard her choke back a sob. “Sorry. I know you're doing your best. It's all any of us can do, right?”

I was pretty concerned, what was wrong with Alena? “Is Alena available right now?”

Affirmative. Opening communications.

“Hey, sorry about the call, it was pretty late.” Alena sounded pretty tired.

“Sorry nothing, are you ok?”

“Isn't that my line? Yeah, I think so. I was just having...there's this nightmare I keep having." She sighed. "A few months back, Jade called me out to help with this terrorist situation. They put bombs on these ferries, and...oh god...”

“Alena?!” I vaguely remember hearing about the incident in the English Channel.

“...I tried to save everyone, I really did. But so many people died, and there was this little girl who drowned inside a car...”

“Oh honey. I feel so stupid, I've been having bad dreams all night about the people I did save...”

“Don't feel stupid, Cathy. Never feel stupid. You can't stop thinking, 'what if I screwed up?', am I right? Well you didn't screw up, you did the best thing you could do. You acted. Sometimes, yeah, people die no matter what you do...and it hurts so much!”

“Alena...I wish I was there. You really could use a hug right now.”

“I...thanks. I feel better knowing you care. I know Mom is worried about me. I just...I don't know what to say!”

“You don't have to say anything. They love you, they know what you're going through. Alena, you're very bright and mature for your age, but you're still a kid. It's okay to be shocked by death, especially when it happens right in front of you. But this is why you became a hero, isn't it? Not to have fun with super powers, but to help people! And you have helped people, a lot of people. Just think about how many people wouldn't be alive today if not for you, even in the short time you've been doing this. You have a big heart, honey, and I know it kills you that you can't save everyone.”

“It does...but you're right. It's not all fun and games. I wish it could be. Nothing feels better than rising above the earth, flying under my own power.”

“Then fly, like the angel you are. It'll help you, I swear.”

“I think I will do that. Just as soon as I let Mom and Sis know I'm ok. Thank you so much, Cathy!”

I smiled. Already she did sound a little better. “Anytime. I promise to call you later and tell you how things went with my family.”

“Oh, jeez, I totally forgot! Are you ok?”

I chuckled. “I have a mother and a sister again.”

“I'm so happy for you, Cathy! I..I don't know what I'd do without Mom or Alison.”

“I pray you never find out. I was so lonely, to the point I didn't realize how bad off I was. We'll talk later, you need to worry about you, now. Plus...I still have to talk to my Dad.”

“Oh.” She paused for a moment. “You know, I think I need to do that as well. Ok, we'll talk later then?”

“Definitely.” Hm, that was the first time she'd mentioned her father. I wonder why?

-

I took my shower and got dressed before I made my next call, to Doris.

“...ello?”

Oh man, did she sound tired! “Oh, sorry Doris, is this a bad time?”

“Cathy? Ugh..one second.” I heard the sound of rustling in the background. “Shh, it's okay honey, go back to sleep.”

“Ok, I can talk now. Sorry, Lena isn't a morning person.”

“Sorry.”

“Relax honey, it's fine. I need to get moving anyways. So what's up?”

“Well, some weird stuff happened yesterday. Actually, it's been happening for awhile now, but this is the first time I really noticed it.” I sat down on the bed, idly touching my shield with my fingertips. “My shield is made out of a titanium alloy, according to Jade. The more I think about it, when I throw it, well, it acts like it's a lot more aerodynamic than it should be. I shouldn't be able to throw it with the accuracy I do.”

“Hm, Dream said something about that, too.”

“Not only that, but I've been shot at more than once, and there's not even a scratch on the paint. The bullets just seem to hit it at the right angle to bounce off harmlessly. And then yesterday...”

I gave her the whole story about my day. I'd only meant to talk about the robbery, but once I started, I couldn't stop! To her credit, Doris didn't interrupt me; she really is good people. “Sorry, I guess I just needed to talk about more than just the weird stuff.”

“It's okay honey. I haven't seen my family in a long time either. And to be honest...the idea of facing them now terrifies me. My Dad wanted a son so badly...he hated how small and weak I was. Mom was terrified of him, so she wasn't much help either.”

Something about that revelation gave me pause. “That sounds pretty familiar.”

“Mhm. We were different before we ever got powers. In fact, I'm not sure I've met a totally well-adjusted metahuman yet. Even before we change, everyone seems to have some baggage. There might be a connection, emotions play a huge role in how the metagene...or whatever it is, changes us.”

“You don't think it's genetic?”

She sighed. “Well look, I'm a geneticist. And I have to tell you, if Jade's ring hadn't called it a 'metagene', I'd swear on a stack of Bibles that it has nothing to do with DNA as we know it. I'm actually starting to think it used that term just because it'd be easier for us to understand; I really haven't had a chance to sit down and talk with the damned thing.”

“Can't our rings contact it?”

“Yes...and I've had it jump in on conference calls...another fun feature the rings have, but only when Jade was involved. You have to remember, this thing is an alien AI. It's priorities are more than a bit unusual. I think it's programmed to educate it's wearer as much as possible, which is why it tends to chime in a lot.”

“Huh, I don't think I've heard it talk yet. When my ring squawked, I about had a heart attack!”

Doris laughed. “Oh you'll hear it, don't worry. It's a matter of when, not if. Anyways, while it freely shares it's information with Jade...and even then, on it's own time table, it only answers us because she wants it to. If she's not actually in on the conversation, it's not a lot of help. It constantly goes on about 'restricted access' and what-not. Lena says she's compiling a program to figure out how to better interface with the thing, but, well, as smart as she is, she's pretty much self-taught when it comes to computers, and I can only help so far.”

“Hm. I'm afraid I'm not an expert either. I can program a bit, it was kind of necessary, given my major.”

“Biophysics, wasn't it?”

“Yeah. Ironic now, really.”

She laughed. “I hear you. At least we have The Little Mermaid now!"

“A mermaid?” I blinked.

“Yeah, poor kid was on that ferry that exploded, got dropped into the ocean. Lucky for her, she turned out to be a metahuman, and was able to adapt to survive underwater. Me and Lena took her in, she really needed help starting her life over, plus, she happens to be a computer expert.”

“And of course, you get to study her up close.”

“...am I that transparent?”

“Relax, Doris, you're trying to help her, I'm sure she'd love to know how her powers work. Which brings me to my story...”

“Oh, duh, yeah. Ok, let's try an experiment. I have a coin here, I'm going to flip it, call it for me.”

“What?” I blinked.

“Humor me. Ok, tossed it.”

“Heads.”

“Mhm. Again?”

“Heads.”

“And now?”

“Uh, tails, is this...?”

“Please hon, one more time.”

“Heads again.”

“Incredible. Right all times.”

“Wait..what?”

She chuckled. “You ready for this? Psionic manipulation of probability.”

“Please say that again. In English?”

“Ok hon, it fits everything you've described. Look, some metahumans seem able to warp physics around them. Like me, for example. I can add or subtract mass, even alter my own density. But where does the mass come from? I have no idea! I'm actually breaking down science as we know it around me!”

“Wait, subtract mass?”

“Ah, yeah. Not a lot, but I can get smaller. I managed to get down to about 4' 1”, but going further, I can't really explain, it feels uncomfortable.”

“Wow, I bet you're adorable when you get small like that.”

“That's what Lena says. It feels nice to sit in her lap for a change.”

I smiled. “I'm really happy for you both, you know that?”

“Thanks hon. Me too! Anyways, I'm not completely immune to physics. A lot of the stunts I pulled off against the Dies Walkure, for example...not that you got to see a lot of that...”

“Just the aftermath, you did a number on that street!”

“Ugh, don't remind me, my powers make me a menace. I really wish I could invest in some kind of superpower insurance!”

I snickered. “Not a bad idea, that.”

“Where was I...oh yeah, anyways, physical laws still apply to me, and it's the interactions between my powers and them that let me pull off some of my more interesting stunts. I mean, you haven't met Stefani yet, but the way she flies is pretty wild. She does this thing sometimes where she hovers upside down, but her hair and even her clothes fall up, not down! Good thing, too, Alyssa likes putting these short skirts on that girl...”

“Uh..”

“Heh, sorry Cathy. You'll meet them eventually, I'm sure. But yes, she's somehow in command of her subjective gravity. And then there's The Lightning...she's got some weird gravity powers as well.”

“Oh you mean that Japanese hero? Is she one of us?”

“Mmm, if by metahuman, then, most likely. If you mean, is she part of the J-Force, then no.”

“J-Force?!” I snorted.

“Well Jade hasn't given us a name yet, and I have to call our little outfit something, even if we are pretty disorganized. The government more or less supports us, but we're naturally kind of resistant to going to work for them officially. So far, our main contacts are Dream and Mr. Faraday.”

“Mm, I'd forgotten that, Dream is actually military.”

“Yeah, but they give her a lot of leeway to work with us. Though I'm sure she does some other work on the side. And King Faraday, well, he's one of those Cold War types. Nice enough, really, but don't play poker with him. Well, actually, you can play poker with him, but I sure wouldn't want to.”

“So I adjust odds in my favor?”

“Something like that. That's why bullets bounce off your shield, you somehow alter their trajectories in flight. And then when they ricochet, they don't hurt anyone but, presumably, the bad guys. You have lucky accidents, when you toss your shield, it tends to fly in the direction you want it to, and from what you said, even the way it bounces off objects can work in your favor! Plus, how you happened to show up at just the right time to save your Mom.”

“..so wait. If I hadn't become a metahuman...oh wow.”

“Try not to think about it too much. I believe you can try to control this ability, but you need to be careful; quantum theory states that everything, at any moment, is subject to chance. The number of ways you interact with the universe are nearly infinite. It's quite possible that the more you bend these possibilities to benefit yourself, the more likely that there could be some kind of backlash.”

“...ugh, first you tell me not to think about it, then you say that.”

“I'm sorry hon, to be honest, I could stand to take my own advice. If I gain mass or density, where does it come from? Where does it go? I have no idea, and that's a bit scary too; it has to come from somewhere, or pretty much centuries of scientific thought go down the drain.”

“Like the Hawking paradox?”

“I hadn't even considered that. There's no information loss with my ability; if I shrink two inches in height, when I grow again, I'm exactly the same was I was before, the matter 'remembers' how it fits in with the rest of me. Plus, there's no decay when it's not a part of me, so...ugh. I'm not a physicist!”

“Neither am I, but maybe you're looking at it wrong. Maybe it doesn't 'go' anywhere. Maybe it's always connected to you, you just..oh I almost had it...maybe you just choose to ignore it? Wait, that sounds lame.”

“I...I think I need to talk to some people. You might be onto something.”

“Really?!”

“Yes, I believe so. Anyways, about your powers, think of it like this. Any time you affect your environment, your powers will try to set up the best possible result to your actions. By best, meaning, the one that best benefits you. But, and this is the important part, it's based on your perceptions of what is the best result!”

“Uh. Hold up, I think you're a step ahead of me, Doris.”

“Ok, it's like this. Bullets hitting innocent people is bad, right?”

“Of course...oh! So if bullets hit my shield, my power tries to guide each bullet away from hurting anyone. When I fired that gun, my powers tried to minimize any casualties.”

“Mhm, but back to the example of your shield. Given it's composition, if it were struck by a bullet, the shield should absorb the impact, instead of deflecting it. Yes, bullets will bounce off, but with greatly reduced force, making them less likely to cause injuries. However, you're too used to movies and comics showing bullets bouncing off of things. So this is the important part. Bullets glance off of your shield because you believe that's what should happen!”

I didn't know what to say to that, so I just stared at the ring on my finger in shock.

“Sorry hon, I just needed to stress that fact. You're warping physics out of shape simply because you don't fully understand how things are supposed to work. You're pretty attached to that shield, for various reasons, so your powers work to protect it as well. But hon, it can be repaired, even replaced.”

“So what you're saying is, I'm damaging reality because I don't want to scuff the paint job on my shield?!”

“I'm no psychiatrist, but I think the shield is a symbol to you. Of something important. You equate the shield being damaged with the ideal being tarnished. But that's not the case. The ideal is more important than the object.”

“I...oh jeez, Doris, now I have to be worried about what I believe?”

“It's subjective reality. The world is as you perceive it. But don't think of this as a limitation. The more you understand the world around you, the greater the possibilities you can grasp.”

“You make it sound like I could do anything.”

“Maybe you could. I mean, look at Jade or Alena. Their powers are pretty much only limited by their own minds. I think, on some level, all of our powers are the same way. The more we understand them, the more we can do. Why does there have to be a limit?”

I thought really hard about that. “Because if there is no limit, then we are like God. And I don't think we're ready for that kind of power.”

“I agree. But again, that's only our belief in action. We don't think we should be that powerful, so we're not.”

“I have such a headache now, Doris.”

“I know, and I'm sorry. But hon, all I'm trying to say is, your ideals literally are the source of your power. The stronger you believe in something, the more powerful you are. I can't explain it with science, it's simply how I feel. When I hear you talk about something that you are passionate about, I believe in you. And I believe that you can make a difference.”

Even though my head was spinning at the possibilities, I felt better for some reason. As long as I believed it was possible to save someone, and as long as it was possible, even if I only had a 1% chance, or even less than a 1% chance, I could do it. Or at least, have a better chance of doing it than I had any right to. Just like I'd saved those people at the bank. Henry, who'd been shot.

Even the bad guys, though injured, had lived!

“Wow. This is..pretty mind-blowing, Doris. But...it helps somehow.”

“Good, I'm glad I could help. I should get started on breakfast, I can hear my Princess starting to wake up.”

“Princess, huh?”

“She's everything to me, Cathy. I hope that one day you get to have someone that special in your own life.”

I placed a hand on my stomach, and imagined a life growing inside me one day. “I will, Doris, I know I will.”

-

I was famished, and I skipped the free breakfast, instead driving to a buffet in town. Sneaking my shield out was a little tricky, but I think I escaped notice. Or so I thought; imagine my surprise when I saw a police car flashing it's lights from behind me!

I pulled over, and then realized something. My Driver's license had been updated with my real appearance, not my 'old Cathy' disguise! I immediately shed my disguise, and started hoping that my weird luck powers hadn't decided to wimp out on me now!

My heart skipped a beat when Officer Steve Rogers appeared at my window. He smiled at me. “Hello again, Miss Spirit.”

“What?!”

He chuckled. “The van. You left it parked at the bank, and didn't come back for it until later.”

“You were watching?” I got a sinking feeling in my stomach.

“I'm afraid so. I ran the plates, too. You've changed a lot, Cathy.”

Oh God, I was so screwed!

“Hey, it's alright. I'm on your side, really! You saved a lot of people yesterday, that makes you a hero in my book.”

“One of those people was my mother.”

He nodded. “Sure, but you did your best to save everyone, including Dana. Look, I'm on duty, but I'd really like to talk to you more later. If you think you can trust me.”

“What did you have in mind?”

He gave me a dazzling smile that made my stomach do flip-flops. “How about dinner?”

I smiled at him, and without even thinking, “It's a date!”

-

I pulled away, still in shock. How lucky can I get? I totally screwed up keeping my identity secret, and the one guy who figures it out not only wants to help, he's taking me out to dinner?! Hell, I couldn't even believe I'd accepted! I hadn't been on a date since the 10th grade! And I was still a guy then!

I nearly hit a parked car as I realized that. He knew who I was! He knew who I was! I'd gone to school with Steve! He knew I was really Cash...and he wanted to go out with me anyways!

“Jesus Christ, Cathy. You're either a total moron, or a fucking genius. Or both!” I shook my head. This day was really screwing with my head, and I knew the worst was yet to come!

-

The house hadn't changed much. I could see some minor repairs and additions, but nothing that really contradicted my memories. This had been my home. And also, my private hell. Why was I here?! I sat in the van for several minutes, unable to shake the doubt in my gut. I wanted to run away so badly!

There was a light knock on my window, and I nearly died of fright! I rolled it down. “Oh God, Mom, you scared the hell out of me!”

She gave me an odd smile. “Watch your language, young lady.”

“Sorry Mom.”

She laughed. “I guess I still got it. Honey, you look pale, are you ok?”

“No, it's been...one heck of a morning so far.” I could hear the sound of power tools. “He's in the garage already?”

She sighed. “He spends a lot of time in there now. Things haven't been all that good between us, since Rose stopped talking to him, and he lost his job at the factory. I think it bothers him that I'm supporting us now.”

I got out of the van, towering over my mother, who's only 5' 2”. I gave her a hug, and she returned it. “I'm sorry Mom. I guess I never thought of how things must be rough on you.”

“It's okay, angel. It really is.”

“Hey wait a minute, what about that money he had saved up? And his pension?”

She frowned. “...you know that money was supposed to be for you kids, right?”

“Yeah, but I told him to give it to...oh hell. Cathy didn't take it either.”

Mom nodded. “It's still sitting in the bank, collecting interest. Stubborn old bastard won't touch it.”

I sighed. “I better get this over with.”

She hugged me tightly. “Good luck, Cathy.”

-

I put on my disguise as I walked to the garage. The door was open, and I could see Dad inside, taking a break with a 'cold one'. Still drinking Heineken. I shook my head. “Permission to enter!”

“...Rose, is that you? Come on in.”

I did and he turned to look at me. His jaw went slack. “...you're not Rose.”

He looked shorter than I remembered. Still taller than me, but by a lot less. And older too. This was the man I used to think was invincible? His eyes looked tired, even weary.

“No, I'm not, Dad.”

“...Bullshit. I only have two kids, and you ain't one of them.”

“When I was eight, you decided to teach me how to work like a man. I lost my grip on the hammer, and I put that dent in your car.” I pointed to his '67 Bel Air. “You refused to hammer it out. Said that could remind me of my mistake.”

He took a step back. “...you can't be Cash.”

I moved closer to him. The fear fading, replaced by anger. “I remember you used to joke with your buddies about how you should have named me Sue, because I was so girlish. You know, I used to like Johnny Cash, but now? I can't even hear one of his songs without remembering that. First chance I got, I changed my name.”

“Stay right there, don't get any closer! I'll call the cops!”

I grinned. “The cops? Go ahead. Mom let me on the property, and, you'll love this, I have a date with Steve Rogers tonight!”

His mouth opened, and then closed. Ha, let the homophobic son of a bitch chew on that! “That's right, Dad, I'm a woman now. My new name is Cathy, by the way, not Sue.”

His features went hard. “Do you enjoy being cruel, son? Is this how you repay your Mother and I?”

“Screw you, Dad! Mom is proud of me! She doesn't care that I'm a girl now!”

He sneered. “Your mother is weak. She'd forgive a dog for biting her. Look at you, you're a freak!”

I shook my head. “Sorry, that isn't going to work anymore. I'm not afraid of you, and honestly, I wonder why I ever was. You hear about that bank robbery yesterday?”

I changed into my uniform, although without the cowl. “Take a good look, Dad. A really good look. I'm not a freak, I'm a hero!”

“Get out of here! I don't know who you are, you're not my son!”

I shook my head. “No, I'm not. I'm your daughter, as much as we both hate that fact. But hey, I'll leave you with something so you can remember your mistake.” I walked over to his car and gripped the bumper. I left an imprint of my hand in the steel, and then I left the garage.

I shifted out of my costume, but I was never going to pretend to be 'Old Cathy' ever again. This is who I am now. Now and forever. Mom met me in front of the house, looking sad.

I sighed. “I'm sorry, Mom. I couldn't forgive him.”

“You did the best you could, honey. Do you feel better?”

I shook my head. “I'm not afraid of him anymore. But better? I bullied him. The same way he used to bully me. I really am his daughter.”

She hugged me tightly. “No honey, you're better than he is. I know that.”

“Get away from my wife, freak!”

I turned, and saw my Dad with his old M14 rifle, aimed right at me.

“Raymond Webster! Put that gun away!”

“I'm sorry Dana, but that's not your son. I don't know what that...thing is!”

“Mom. Let me handle this.” I gently pushed her aside. I could tell she wanted to argue, but she moved back. “Ok Soldier. She's safe. Take your shot.”

“Get out of here!”

I grinned. “Clint Eastwood was way better at this. 'Get off of my lawn'!”

“I mean it, I'll kill you!”

“Sure go ahead. Will that finally make you happy? Will you finally be proud of me, if I die for you?”

He blinked. “Shut up, you're trying to confuse me!”

I turned my back to him and opened the side door of my van. I carefully got out my shield. “You see this, Dad? You always preached to us about the values of this country. How you and your friends fought for it. Bled for it. But you never understood what it really meant, did you? America isn't about shooting people you don't understand!”

I held the shield out. “It's about this! It's about protecting people! It's about Freedom! Everyone is free to make their own choices, to live their own lives! Freedom of speech, Freedom of religion! You don't even know what America is! People like you, they believe their own bullshit, until it poisons the very spirit of this country!”

“Shut up! I'll kill you! America isn't about fags and freaks! It's about good, decent people!”

“Do good people kill other people for being different? Is that what decency is? I'm sorry, Dad, but you're wrong. And when I have children one day, I'll make sure to tell them about their grandfather. How he couldn't accept what he didn't understand. How he couldn't change. And how he pushed away his own family. I won't be like you, Dad! I won't!”

He sneered. “You're a freak, you can't have kids.”

“You're wrong there. I can have children. It's a miracle, and I don't think you can understand how grateful I am that one day, I'll be able to feel a life growing inside me. To have a child of my own to love. But I have to wait. As much as I want to be a mother, I have to wait, because this country is sick! This isn't a world I want to raise a child in! I want it to be a better world, and I'm going to make that happen, whether you like it or not!”

He fired the rifle. The bullet hit the shield, and while it did ricochet off, it left a dent. I threw the shield, and knocked the gun out of his hands. Then I walked up to him, grabbed him by the shirt, and with one arm, lifted him off the ground.

I was so mad I almost forgot to brace myself; I don't think I would have been as intimidating if I'd fallen over!

“Congratulations. You just shot at your own kid. Guess you feel like a real man now, huh?”

“Cathy! Don't hurt him, please!”

I sighed. “You see that? Even my own Mother is afraid of me. How do you think that makes me feel, Ray?” I lowered him and dropped him on the ground. I picked up the shield. “You see this dent? I'm leaving it here to remind me of my mistake. Not in coming home.”

I turned and started walking away. “But in not being able to forgive you.”

“Cathy...” Mom reached for me.

I turned to look at her. “I love you, Mom. I really do. But I won't be coming home again.”

I hurt her badly with that comment. I could see the pain in her eyes. And the guilt, before she looked away. I'm not proud of it. I think I'll regret it for a long time.

One thing I've learned; children are a reflection of their parents. The good and the bad. I know in my heart that my parents needed to take a good long look at me. Because after today, I was going to become someone new. Someone better. Because one day, I want to look at my own child, and have no regrets. Only pride and love.

-

I managed to make it to Rose's house before my hands were shaking too badly to drive. Greg and her found me when they came home for lunch. Somehow, they got me inside, and onto the couch. Rose stayed with me for the rest of the afternoon while I cried my heart out. Despite everything, deep inside me, there was a child who wanted her parents.

And they were gone now, maybe forever.

To be continued

Free Spirit-4 by Lynceus Having faced down the demons of her past, Cathy is ready to face her destiny as a hero...right after her date with Steve Rogers, that is!

Chapter Seven: The Price of Freedom

Finally, there were no more tears to shed. Maybe I could have handled it better, but I no longer felt that I had failed. I'd done what I'd set out to do; I had faced the dragon in it's lair. And found an old, bitter man, who had long ago closed his heart, and his mind.

I pitied him. And my Mother, who could accept me as a woman, as a hero, but not as a metahuman. I gently stroked Rose's hair. “Thank you, Sis. For everything.”

She snuggled close, and it brought me back to happier times. “I've missed you so much. Do you really have to go?”

I sighed. “You know I do, Rose. But I won't be a stranger, I promise. You let me back into your life, I won't forget that.”

“Cathy...you got it backwards. I didn't let you back into my life. You let me back into yours.”

I kissed her hair. “I think it was a little of both. Either way, I won't lose you again.”

“So, I heard you have a date.” She turned and smiled.

“What the hell?! How did you..?” I blinked at her.

“Small town, Sis, you know how it is.”

I frowned. “I don't really feel like a date. Besides, the whole town is going to find out who I really am, and that won't be good for Steve.”

Rose snorted. “Steve Rogers can take care of himself. There's talk of electing him Sheriff, you know.”

“All the more reason he shouldn't associate with me.”

“Cash Jackson Webster!” Rose tried to glare at me, but instead she broke out into a sheepish smile. “Sorry. I guess using your full name doesn't work anymore.”

I grinned. “No, it does. Let me guess, I'm being stupid?”

“Steve fought for this country, and risked his life. He's handled drunks, punks, thugs, and bikers up and down this town since he got back. I think he can handle some tight-assed bigots.”

“Sis! Such language!”

She giggled. “It's not my fault, Greg corrupted me.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Greg?”

“Trust me, when his patience wears out, his language gets a lot more colorful.”

“Mm, well you would know.”

“So what is your middle name now?”

I scratched the back of my neck. “Uh..I don't have one.”

“Oh that won't do. No, not at all.” She got a thoughtful look on her face. “Cathy Beatrice.”

“Beatrice?! Do I look like a Beatrice to you?”

“It means 'blessed voyager'. As in, a voyager through life.”

I shook my head. “You could have just said yes, you know. Ok, fine. Cathy Beatrice.”

“Catherine Beatrice.” She grinned.

“Don't push your luck, Sis.” But I smiled back at her.

-

I was still unsure about the whole 'date' thing, so I called up Alena, mostly to stall for time. But once she asked me to tell her about my day, I found myself doing so, not skipping a single detail. Like she was a close, trusted friend! Fifteen or not, the more I got to know Alena, the more I was impressed by her compassion and, well, wisdom.

She'd be the first one to deny it, and granted, she's made her share of mistakes. But for a young woman her age, she's simply remarkable, and I'm glad to count her as one of my friends. She listened to everything I had to say, and when I finally trailed off, she was quiet for so long I wondered if I'd bored her to sleep!

But then she started to talk, slowly. “Cathy...you deserve so much better. Parents are people who are supposed to protect you, love you. Try and guide you to become a better person. My Dad failed to do that. Not as badly as yours did, but he never tried to understand me, like Mom has. I think you need to give your Mom another chance. Maybe not now, but soon.”

I sighed. “I think you're right, hon.”

“You're strong enough to get past this, I know it. But I don't think your journey is over yet. There's still more for you to learn.”

“Huh. Like what?”

“Well, first of all, I think you should go out on that date. Yes, I know, you're still not sure where you stand on the whole sexuality thing, and believe me, I can so relate! It's so damn confusing to me, and I can't imagine it's much easier for you. But he sounds like a really good person, and someone who would make for a good friend.”

I smiled at her words. “I was getting hung up on the whole boy and date thing, wasn't I?”

“Yeah, I think so. Not that I'm an expert; I should really have you talk with Mom sometime.”

“She sounds like a remarkable woman.”

“She is. I wouldn't be who I am now without her, in more ways than the obvious. But you need to find more teachers, too. You have the courage and the will to be a hero, but you need to know how to fight like one.”

That comment threw me for a moment. “Alena, I don't get it. You became a hero without knowing a thing about fighting.”

“Sorry...I didn't say that right. It's not knowing how to fight, it's knowing how you can fight. With me, it's saving people. I don't want to fight or hurt anyone. I'm afraid of what my powers could do to someone. Even when Jade was trying to take my powers from me, when I first met her, I had a hard time fighting her directly. But the minute I see people who need my help...everything changes.”

“I want to help people too, Alena. I don't understand what you mean.”

She sighed. “I'm sorry. It's just that...when you're out there, it's hard not to hesitate. I..I hesitate. A lot. It isn't until I realize people could get hurt that I can push my doubts aside and be a hero. I hesitated recently. I came across a problem so big and massive, I didn't know what to do. I snapped out of it, but I keep asking myself how many people died because I didn't ask sooner?”

“Alena...”

“No, let me get this out. You and me, we're not soldiers. We're not wired to be! But to do what we have to do, we need to learn how to be soldiers. And you've really inspired me. Tomorrow, I'm going to visit my Dad, and try to resolve some of my fears, the way you have.”

She paused a moment, then continued.

“Cathy, it's something we both need to learn. And, well, Steve, he's a soldier, right?”

“Alena, I really want to hug you right now. Thank you so much. I understand now.”

“You're welcome, Cathy. I'm glad someone does. Most of the time, I don't understand myself either.”

“I guess I better ask Sis what I look good in.”

“Well, I'm not my sister, but...how about a long dress? Maybe slit up one leg? Black would look good.”

“You sound like you have one in mind.”

“Ah..yeah. It's from a video game.”

I smiled. “So you're saying I look like a video game character?”

“Well, uh, yeah.”

“Tell me her name, I'll look her up and decide if I should be flattered or not.” I sat down at Greg's computer.

“Aya Brea, she's from the Parasite Eve games.”

I opened a browser and typed in 'aya brea dress'. My eyes rose. “Oh wow. You think I'd look good in that?”

“Why not? I sure do.” I turned to see Rose smiling at me.

“Ah..Alena, that's my sister, Rose.”

“I'm very happy to meet you, Rose.” I'll say this much for Alena, she has good manners!

“It's my pleasure, Alena. Which one are you?”

“I'm the Green Lantern. Er, the other one, not Jade.” I could imagine Alena blushing, poor kid!

“You mean the cute one, right? Well I hate to cut this short, but if I'm going to help Cathy get ready...”

“Oh yeah, good thinking. Good luck Cathy!”

I smiled. “You too, Alena.”

-

I cheated and used the ring to replicate the dress. I wasn't sure about the heels, though. “They make me too tall.”

“Quit complaining, Steve's a tall guy!”

“I hate the shoes the ring makes. I never feel like I have enough traction. Besides, it throws my balance off!”

“Cathy. Seriously. I've seen ballerinas who aren't as graceful as you. Besides, if you fall, at least you'll have a cute guy to catch you, right?”

I blushed. Somehow, the idea of being held by Steve gave me goosebumps. It was so hard to reconcile my memories of him from High School with the major hunk he'd become! “Does Greg catch you?”

Rose snorted. “I'd be lucky if he didn't drop me! When we danced for our wedding, he stepped on my feet like five times!” She shook her head. “But I wouldn't trade the clutz for anything. Now, turn for me.”

I did as instructed. I still didn't like the shoes, but as long as I didn't need to run (apparently Aya Brea can run and even fight in the damn things. Which was really impressive, if you ask me!), I didn't really think I'd have a problem. “So what's the verdict?”

“Well, if I say anything, I'm going to end up sleeping on the couch. For a week.” Greg chimed in, having poked his head into the room.

I grinned at him. “That good? Thanks Greg.”

“Greg, are you having thoughts about my sister?” Rose teased her husband.

“Right now, I'm having thoughts that involve living to see tomorrow! But seriously, you're going to knock poor Steve flat, Cathy.”

Rose smiled. “I concur. I'm actually jealous of how good you look!”

“Thanks guys. I guess I better get moving, then.”

“Take my car. It wouldn't do for you to show up for your date in a beat-up van.”

“Hey! I like that van, Greg!” But he had a point, and I was grateful to him.

It's good to have family.

-

I was fairly nervous when I arrived at the restaurant. I'd gotten there before Steve, so I was standing in the lobby when I heard his voice behind me. “Wow.”

I turned and saw him giving me a once-over with a smile on his face. I felt my cheeks burn. “Hi.”

“Hi yourself.” He smiled. “You look stunning.”

I lowered my head slightly. “Thank you.”

He offered me his arm. “Shall we go get dinner?

I took it graciously, and the hostess led us to our table. All eyes were on us (or at least, me as we walked past the other patrons). Were they wondering who this beautiful young woman was? Or did they already know, and were just staring in shock at the freak? I wasn't sure wish, but I found the courage to hold my head high. I wasn't going to let them ruin my night!

Steve pulled my chair out for me. “Thank you.”

“It's my please, beautiful.” He pushed the chair in for me before taking his own seat. “You really do look incredible.”

“...Steve...” I didn't know what to say!

“I know, I'm sorry. I can't help it, it's been a long time since I've been on anything like a date. And never with someone as lovely as you.”

“You know the truth about me, how can you say that?” I didn't mean to blurt it out like that, but it had been the main question burning in my brain since this morning!

“I don't really know you. The person you used to be, back in school, was pretty distant. No one could figure you out. I understand now, you felt like you were living a lie.”

I blinked and bit back a retort. Old habits die hard; when you've been persecuted by others, it becomes hard not to persecute them in return.

He held up a hand. “I know what you're thinking. How could I know that? Well, the truth is, back then, I couldn't. But when I was in Iraq, I really had my eyes opened. I mean, here we were, interfering with another country's government, trying to force the people to change their entire society, and I started to wonder. What gave us the right?”

He shook his head. “Fighting to free an oppressed people is one thing. But we crossed a line there. We were afraid, our country had been hurt, and badly. So we hurt people right back. I just hope that, someday, when the history books look back at the whole mess, we'll be seen to have done something good. Sorry, I'm rambling.”

“No...I want to hear this. I never used to think of myself as being patriotic, but I've been looking around lately, maybe for the first time, and realizing that the ideals of this country are good. But something has gotten lost along the way.”

“I was wondering about your costume.”

“I'll get to that. But for now, let's order.” I smiled at the waitress, who, to my surprise, smiled back sweetly.

-

After we got our drinks, I asked Steve to continue.

“I made some good friends in my company. Two really good ones, in fact, Clint and Andrew...we called him Andy.” He smiled, but there was a sadness in his eyes. “Only Clint and I made it back. Andrew died during an insurgent attack. We'd been separated from the others, him and I, and pinned down by gunfire for at least forty minutes. Andy was a little guy, he got teased a bit about how girlish he looked. It didn't help that he was the youngest guy in our company. But he was a fighter, if you messed with him, even if you won, you'd pay for it. Of course, once Clint and I started hanging out with him, that stopped. We were like brothers, if one of us was in trouble, the others would have their back.”

“You used to be a skinny kid yourself.” I noted.

“I used to know this guy named Cash who fit the bill as well.” He smiled. “But yeah, I know. Maybe that's why I felt so protective of Andy. I didn't stop growing until I was almost 20, and I got serious about physical fitness during the last year of school. I knew I wanted to join the Army, and I knew that I'd have to push myself to the limit to get in.”

“You did an amazing job. I mean, look at you, you're a serious hunk!”

He chuckled. “Thanks, I try to stay in shape.” He looked away for a moment. “Andy at some point decided we were going to die. That's when he finally admitted to me that he was gay. It floored me, but I knew him. He was my brother. And I realized it didn't matter to me.”

He took a slow drink. “We got to talking, I know, a strange time to open up, but I didn't have much more hope than he did. Then something got tossed into the abandoned house we were holed up in. A grenade. Andy got up and dove for it. I couldn't stop him in time. He landed on it...and it went off.”

Steve closed his eyes, old pain surfacing. “He was still alive, but barely, when I rolled him over. My ears were ringing, but he kept trying to say something to me before he died. I...I took it hard. He died to save me! I didn't want to be a soldier anymore. What was the point? I was really contemplating doing something stupid to get sent home...and Clint would be right behind me, I knew that. And then, one night, I had a dream.”

He stopped again as our food arrived. We ate in silence for a few minutes, and I wondered if he would continue. And then he did.

“I was reliving the whole thing. Just like before, I couldn't stop him. But this time, when I rolled him over, I realized what he had been saying. 'I love you'.”

I reached over and placed my hand on his, squeezing it gently. “I'm sorry Steve.”

“I should have known!”

“Shh. How could you have? You saw him as a little brother. He hid what he was.”

Steve just frowned. “No. You should be able to tell when someone loves you.”

“You haven't seen anyone since you got back, have you?”

“Busted. No. Because I realized, I loved him back. I don't know if I could have...you know, been in a relationship...it's hard, to change your thinking. But I would have given him as much as I could.”

“Not many men would admit that.”

He shrugged. “They already think I'm gay, since I turn down all the girls. That's why we're getting all the stares.”

“I thought it was me!”

He laughed. “Well, yes, you are a stunning young woman. Probably too young for me, actually.”

I glared at him, but I guess my blush offset that a bit. “You know what I mean.”

“I heard about what happened at your parents house. Your Dad called the police, and Joe Kelly went there.”

“Uh oh. Dad and Joe have been friends for a long time.” I frowned.

“Not anymore.”

I blinked. “What?!”

“Joe told me about it. Since apparently my name got brought up.” He winked at me, then sobered before continuing. “Your Dad was ranting and raving about some 'mutant freak girl'. Joe sat down and had a beer with him, and finally got the whole story. And who the girl really was.”

“Looks like I have good timing.” I turned, and saw Joe Kelly himself walking up to our table! Nearing retirement, his hair was thinner and his gut a bit larger than I remembered, but this was the man I grew up calling 'Uncle Joe'.

He stopped and shook his head, looking at me. “Unbelievable. I know it's you, Cash, but my God...you look amazing.”

I blushed again. Gah, why must I do that whenever someone pays me a compliment? “Uh..thank you?”

He put his hand on my shoulder. “It's Cathy now, right? I just came by to tell you how sorry I am. I've known Ray ever since we were kids. I turned a blind eye to his prejudice, but never in a million years did I think he'd try to shoot his own son...er...daughter.”

I sighed. “I could have done it better.”

“I bet! I saw what you did to his car...although he did have it coming! Anyways, once he told me everything, I finally had it. I told the old bastard he'd just thrown away the only people who would ever love him. And then I punched him.”

“Uncle Joe!” I gasped.

“I'm sorry Cathy, I should have done it years ago. When I realized how scared you kids were of him. But I let it slide, because you weren't my kids, and he was my friend.”

I stood up and hugged the older man. He stiffened a bit at first, but relaxed, and held me back. “I'm going to so get it from Alice when she finds out I was hugging a pretty young lady!”

I kissed him on the cheek. “Really?”

“Probably not. I'll understand if you don't drop by before you leave...but you're welcome. Always.”

It was all I could do not to cry. Life is strange like that, you never really know who your friends are until you need them.

-

After dinner, Steve and I went for a drive in the country. After I dropped off Greg's car, that is. Steve had a truck, of course, an '08 Silverado. It was nice, and I chuckled when I saw the American flag emblem painted on the hood. “Still a patriot, Steve?”

“Until the day I die. I may wonder if we're in the right, but I still love my home. It's easy to forget how much freedom we enjoy, when it seems like everyone, even our own government wants to take it away from us. But if we turn on our own country, it won't get any better.”

“When I was a kid, there was a young guy who painted a Confederate flag on his truck. My Dad broke his jaw and spent a night in jail for it. Two days later, someone stole that truck and it was never seen again.”

“They fished it out of the old quarry a few years back.” Steve chuckled.

“That's what bothers me about Dad. He could have been a good man. A better father.”

Steve reached over, never taking his eyes off the road, and placed his hand on mine, squeezing it. “It's not your fault, Cathy.”

I squeezed back. “Thank you, Steve. For everything.”

He pulled over on the side of the road and parked. Out here, so far from town, the night sky was lit up by countless stars, so many more than you could see in the city.

I looked at him. “Is this the part where we kiss?”

“I'd like that. A lot. I could fall in love with you, and you could make me the happiest man on the planet. But I couldn't do the same for you.”

“Steve...”

He shook his head. “You belong to the world. Someday soon, you're going to be out there, fighting for a better future against who knows what. Monsters. Aliens. Other metahumans. I'd just hold you back.”

“I...maybe I'd be happier that way?”

“No Cathy, you wouldn't. You're young again, you have a new life to live. And you can't be tied down. You're the Free Spirit, remember?”

I sighed. “I know. But part of me..wishes I could just enjoy my life. I got into this mess because I wanted not just to be a real woman, but to be able to have a child of my own one day.”

He leaned close to me. God, he's so handsome! My heart actually skipped a beat, or at least, I think it did. “And you will. I know that. But you have to make the world better first.”

“Kiss me. Please.”

He did, and it sent electrical impulses down my spine, and I wanted him very much. I told him so. Half an hour later, I was laying on a blanket in a meadow, and I had sex with a man for the very first time. And lost my virginity as a woman.

I can still feel the warmth of his body, the strength of his hands, his gentle touch, when I close my eyes. Letting go of him was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but he was right. I wasn't ready for this. Steve said it best himself.

“To stay with me, you'd have to change. Change who you are. And I don't know that I'd love that new person the same way.”

-

I stayed in town three more days. I did go to see Joe and Alice. And even visited my Mom at her work. She held me tightly and cried, begging me to forgive her for being such a fool. Which I did, once she agreed to forgive me. I promised to stay in touch; our relationship was fragile, but with luck, it would survive.

And I saw Steve a lot during those few days. And he made love to me more than once. I'm still not sure how I feel about my sexuality, but I know this much; with Steve Rogers, it doesn't matter. He's just that good of a lover.

I prayed someone right for him would come along. Because right now, I wasn't.

Which is why I'm on the road again, heading north. Steve had given me the address of someone who he thought could train me to fight. He'd given up on being a soldier, for the most part, but he had a friend who hadn't.

Which is why I had come to Detroit.

-

I rang the doorbell. The warehouse was old and dingy, and all the windows were boarded over. A single bulb lit the area near the door, which was reinforced. It opened, and a tall, powerful-looking man stood there, as if challenging me. He had blonde hair, and was handsome, a lot like Steve.

But where the resemblance ended was his utter lack of warmth. He was made of ice and steel, a man made hard by the life he lived. “What do you want?” He sneered.

I looked him right in the eyes. “Steve Rogers said you could teach me to fight.”

There was a flicker of humanity in his eyes. “How's he doing?”

“Still a cop. They're talking about making him Sheriff.”

The man actually cracked a smile. “Best idea that podunk town ever had. Well, Steve's never wasted my time before, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. Come on in.”

He led me into the warehouse. A good chunk of it was devoted to what looked like a cross between a boxing gym and an obstacle course, complete with some impressive exercise equipment. I saw an actual Army-issue Humvee parked next to a black GTO, and stairs leading up to what I assumed were living quarters.

Not to mention the firing range, which included, of all things, archery targets! Who was this guy?!

Just then, he grabbed me by the arm, no doubt intending to throw me. I managed to brace myself in time, and he actually grunted as he failed to move me an inch.

His eyes narrowed, then he smiled again. “Sorry, I had to see for myself what Steve had sent me.”

I smiled back. “I understand. Which is the only reason I haven't thrown you through the damn wall.”

He snorted, then tried to move me again. His eyes widened. “Uh...you're not joking, are you?”

I shook my head.

“Huh. Well.” He smirked. “I guess I can help you then.” He handed me some keys. “Bring the van in. For the duration, you'll live here. You'll do what I say, when I say it. Can you handle that, soldier?”

“Yessir.”

“Belay that noise! I'm Clint Barton, but my friends...and friends of my friends...call me Hawkeye.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Last of the Mohicans?”

“Nah, actually my Grandfather started calling me that when I was a kid. He was a big fan of M.A.S.H.. It kind of stuck. But I am a pretty good shot with a bow. And other things.”

I unslung the shield from my back and removed the tarp covering it. “How about this?”

He took it carefully, flipped it in his hands. “Hm.” Without warning, he half turned and spun the shield towards one of the archery targets on the far end of the warehouse. It damn near broke the target in half!

“Not much accuracy to speak of. But I think we can improve on that. Metahuman, huh?”

I nodded.

“But you're not running around in spandex just yet. Guess you want to be ready first. That says a lot about you. Don't get me wrong, I don't think badly of these new heroes. It's about time people started stepping up and fighting for what matters. But you don't want to fuck this up. You want to do it right.”

“Yes. Very much so.”

“Good. Then we should get along just fine.”

And that's how I became Hawkeye's newest student. Well, actually, there were only two of us, at the moment. Me and another girl, a younger teen named Kate Bishop. She was kind of surly, and I don't think she liked me at all.

I could deal with that.

To be continued!