Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 834.
Author:
Audience Rating:
Publication:
Genre:
Character Age:
TG Themes:
Other Keywords:
Permission:
(aka Bike) Part 834 by Angharad |
 |
It was our wedding night–if such a title would be appropriate? In a literal sense we were newlyweds, but after the encounter earlier, Simon seemed frightened of me. We went to bed and after a polite goodnight, we settled down to sleep facing away from each other. I felt very guilty, I did love him very much but I was still mad at him–or maybe I was mad at myself and had nowhere to dump it.
“Do you regret marrying me?” came a very quiet voice after we’d lain there for probably twenty minutes.
“Do you regret marrying me?” I threw back at him.
“I don’t know–I seem to have misunderstood you–I was trying to make your birthday special.”
“It was that alright.”
“But not in the way I meant it to be.”
“How did you mean it to be?”
“I thought you’d enjoy the surprise–I mean, what can I give a woman who has everything?”
I resisted the urge to say, penicillin, “Probably anything else would have been a lovely surprise.”
“I made a huge mistake, I’m sorry.” He rolled back over away from me, and I think he was crying.
I turned towards him, “I’m no longer cross with you, but you have to understand that you took the initiative away from me.”
“I know, I thought you were frightened of it.”
“I was.”
“So I tried to save you that fear.”
Now my eyes were filling with tears. “I was terrified, I wanted a quiet affair with just family and a few friends–but I wanted to organise it.”
“Did I get it that wrong?” he sniffed.
“No, you did a very good job considering.”
“Considering what?”
“Considering I had no input to my own wedding.”
“I said sorry.”
“I know and I accepted your apology.”
“So what was that about a big wedding blessing–if you were scared of it? It makes no sense to me.”
“Three or perhaps four little girls want to do the bridesmaid thing with long dresses and bows in their hair.”
“Do I know the fourth? I didn’t just marry her did I?”
“No, Simon, there was a little girl I did some healing with who wanted to be a bridesmaid, I promised her she could be one of mine–assuming she still wants to of course.”
“You’d go through a formal rerun to please your kids, but you wouldn’t do it to please your husband? I don’t know how I feel about that?”
“Simon, before you go off on one, can I finish?”
“Alright–but I think I know where I stand already.”
“Before you prejudge me, please listen. Almost all young women want the whole shebang for a wedding. I say almost because I’m not one of them. Yes, I’d like to wear a lovely dress and make my vows with you, much as we did. But I assumed, with your family tradition, it was going to be an Elizabeth Daniel dress, and cast of thousands all gawping and filling their faces. I didn’t want to feature in Country Life or Brides IIlustrated, I’m a woman with a past and I didn’t want that aired, partly because it would embarrass us and the guests.”
“How would it embarrass us? I’ve known all along–pretty well–about your past, and love you despite it.”
“I know, darling, and I respect and love you for it. Maybe it’s my own embarrassment or perhaps I just don’t like a big fuss about things.”
“We could have dashed up to Gretna Green, or anywhere if that was how you felt?”
“I know, Simon, but then I’d have felt guilty for depriving your family of their tradition.”
“They are excited because you said you’d do a formal blessing ceremony up at Stanebury–but they weren’t expecting it.”
“The girls were.”
“Cathy, haven’t we got this all arse about face? Shouldn’t we be doing what we want for our wedding, not living up to the expectations of others?”
“Isn’t that what you tried to do?” I felt a fresh tear run down my face and into my ear as I lay cuddled into the back of him.
“I thought so, but I should have spoken to you–I should have talked to you–told you what I wanted to do–but it would have lost its surprise element. I wanted to give you a lovely surprise–that was all.”
“I realise that now–Oh, Simon, I wish we could start my birthday again, with the benefit of hindsight.”
“I’m afraid even your blue light stuff can’t make time reverse can it?”
“I don’t think it can do very much at all.”
“If there was any real miracle, it would have turned you into a genetic female and we’d be making babies right now.”
“I’d have settled for it making Trish a real girl, but it isn’t going to happen, so she’ll have to learn to cope with always being second best, like me.”
“Second best? When are you going to stop all this stuff? It’s you I love–I don’t care that you can’t have babies, everything else seems fine to me–that’s why I married you.”
I dissolved into tears–I really did feel like jumping off a cliff. I’d acted like a total fool. Because I don’t feel that I deserve things, I suppose I tend to avoid them. The whole idea of me–a pretend woman–marrying into a titled family in a big society wedding, would be like something in a very poor TG story. Almost like the Cinderella fable with a twist. Maybe it’s me who’s twisted.
I felt his arm around me. “I don’t deserve you,” I sobbed and trembled in his arms.
“Isn’t that for me to decide?”
I nodded and sniffed.
“Cathy, will you be my wife and the mother of our adopted children, and stop worrying about what others think?”
“Yes.” I felt him kiss my eyes. “Will you forgive me for being a silly woman?”
“Yes, of course I will.”
“Will you make love to me, my husband?”
“All night, if it’s what my wife wants.”
I hope I remember my meeting in the morning, and I’ve got to get the girls to school on time...