I just wanted to touch on my love of Mary Janes since it was such a big part of my life, especially when I was very young and even into my life as a adult, I will cover it all and I hope it’s not too boring since I’ll probably be mentioning events that I have talked about before.
I remember being fascinated about my sister’s black patent Mary Janes and she being 3 years older they were a prefect fit at least in my mind they felt that way, I would sneak into my sister’s closet and check them out picking those beauties up and checking them out more than not I would take them back to my room to get a closer look, this only happened when my sister was not home but anyway I would even pull the bed sheet over us too check them out thinking to myself they are so pretty even on one occasion that I can remember I gave the pretty little toe a quick kiss nothing sexual I was to young for those kind of feelings and I really don’t know why I did it and it was the only time that I can remember and as a side note I never told my mom, I guess even being that young I thought it was a little too much to share and I kinda felt a little embarrassed about it.
And if nobody was around next door or at the grocery store I would immediately go into her closet and gently pick them up and off to my bedroom and slip them on my feet then buckling that little strap over the top of my feet for me this was the best time of my life being five or six at that time, heaven was only seconds away walking around in the house was a feeling I really can’t explain exactly because I wasn’t sure what I was feeling, I guess it just made me feel extremely happy with a little bit of amazement and excitement thrown in especially when I would look down at those beautiful little girl shoes and hearing the clicking sound they made I just loved them.
It was building inside of me to tell mom about my secret and one night it did, mom indulging me with one of her black patent big girl purses which I love too and then introduced to lipstick and finally a slip which mom gave me to use as a nightie, when that nightie slid over my little body at that moment for the life of me out of the blue and with no thought I blurted out I want a doll mom, I was surprised mom was surprised too but for some reason I truly wanted a doll, I truly believe that I didn’t want to be a girl I just wanted to experience a few things that happen to be girl things and kinda overtime it did bring a little bit of my girl side out which mom liked and didn’t mind being I kinda liked it too.
So the I want a doll out of nowhere was a surprise to me and mom, she looked at me saying let’s see in the morning and yes I receive my one and only Barbie doll which I loved very much and I have a secret to tell you which you won’t believe as a adult.
But anyway sorry I get so sidetracked, so one night I just had to tell mom about my secret love of sis’s Mary Janes I couldn’t even look at her as I told her that I love them and being very shy doesn’t help either, mom asked how do you know that it seemed like forever before I told her about going into sis’s closet and checking them out, followed by is that all and of course me saying no mom I took them back to my room to check them out and play with them but I never ever told her about kissing the toe and of course she said anything else and funny thing at this time I think she was enjoying it or at least intrigued by it all, well it was time to let it all out… to be continued