My question is purely rhetorical, for you would be unlikely to be here if you didn't.

Well, just because you want this, doesn't mean I'm going to go easy on you.

This first assignment may not make a bit of sense to you, but it is important to your final results so please attempt it regardless of what you may think of either the assignment or of me at this time. This is a course in Bondage and you will be playing all the parts, simultaneously. How's that for an image???

While it is fairly straight forward, but for those who have never written, it will be difficult, for many of you will not likely completely understand this assignment.

The only nice thing about it is there are no failing grades, except not to attempt it.

Most people have had a pet at one time or another, if not then you may "borrow" from someone you know or the family down the street. Any animal, preferably common, such as a dog or cat, Horse, bird, etc.. Generally I would prefer legged warm blooded animals because it must be something to which other people, upon reading, would be favorably disposed.

I would like you each to produce no less than a one page short concerning this animal and it's relationship to the humans around it. Now for the hard part... Write from the perspective of that animal. Attach human feelings and terms to it's actions and relationships, so that those who read may understand those feelings and terms.

That is lesson number one in this bizarre and sordid path on which we are all about to embark.

Don't be afraid to try. There will be only two who will read this short, you and possibly myself.

There must be no less than one page of three paragraphs nor more than two pages, give or take a few sentences. The object of this lesson is to begin to stretch both your ability to place thoughts into words, and to bring your imagination from a black and white image scheme into the realm of glorious technicolour.

Colour attracts attention and the only way an author may produce that colour is by using words.

For example,

"The cat walked into the living room, jumped up onto it's favorite chair and curled up, going to sleep."

Descriptive? Yes. Notifies the reader exactly what is going on to that point? Yes. Interesting? Not in our wildest imaginations.

"The small yellow/orange and white Tabby, whose pet is a human named Alice, examines the room carefully before entering. The smells are of the minutes old presence of the humans she has decided to permit in her life and that of that mouse which she has yet to catch, but undoubtedly shall one day. Patience always pays. Again checking for anything out of the ordinary, she enters the living room and notes that her favorite chair is in the sunlight bringing a warmth which she will happily share as it is somewhat colder now due to the first snows of winter. She cautiously walks across the living room floor, making not a sound, in the event that mouse might be near enough for her to pounce upon it, and silently leaps up onto her chair.

The mother of Alice, her pet, thinks this chair is hers but our Tabby knows better. The warmth returning from the chair, as well as casting in from the sun, is welcome and she curls upon the chair, one ear listening for the slightest sound as she closes her eyes and dozes off."

Now, what is the difference in the two events?

Both are descriptive of a female cat walking over to a chair in a living room, jumping up and going to sleep.

Why would people prefer to read one over the other? How were words used to paint a picture within someone's mind that allows them to empathize with the cat? Granted, I could have easily written two or three more paragraphs about this short event but that would simply be more than is necessary either to convey my intent (and that of the cat) or to bring those reading into some acceptance of the cat's needs and desires.

Writing is not just an art at which you all shall, with a little effort, become proficient but it is akin to a disease... It begins to circulate in the blood, permeating the very essence of your being and slowly but certainly captures all your fiber and existence until you no longer have a choice but to rush to pen and paper (I know, old examples — all right) to rush to the keyboard and begin to pound out that Epic which is flowing around in your veins just screaming to be allowed to delight, entertain, and captivate your audience. Note I said "your audience", for that is what they shall be when you have gone from, "The cat walked into the living room..." to, "The small yellow/orange and white Tabby, who's pet is a human named Alice..."

Do you have these images firmly implanted within your minds???

Now for the twist...

Yes, there are times when the shorter of the two descriptions is the most desirable. Most specifically if the event is of lessor importance to the scheme of the overall story or if that event is something which you wish to impart as being very short in time as opposed to some other concurrent event in which you have more interest. The more important event would necessarily capture our interest rather than the sub-plot of a cat crossing a room.

For example,

Jason Partridge and his wife Mabel (well, all I could think of spur of the moment — may I continue?) ... and his wife Mabel are having a heated argument. A small cat, the family pet, watches for a moment before crossing to an overstuffed chair sitting in the sunlight, where it jumps up and goes to sleep.
Their argument is once again concerning their young First Son and of the military boarding school to which Mr. Partridge wishes to send him. "I attended that school and it did nothing to harm my abilities. It taught me discipline and command."

(We are quite able to discern that "little" fact....)

At any rate, back to the cat... See the difference? When we are discussing the cat as a more central topic then we produce more information about that cat. When it is an event in passing with another more central event pervading the scene then we use fewer words. Either way the information about the cat must be imparted to the reader. If they were there watching the scene or if it was upon a stage then they would have noted the actions of the cat but the importance is wholly determined by the number of players upon the scene and the importance of their actions within the scene itself when taken in consideration with some future plot development.

Clear as mud???

Ever onward...

While this is a short lesson, it is important, and we will build upon it in the future.
I am taking a great chance here, for just as has been described in Air Force Sweetheart, large classes are counter productive.

I shall endeavor to make my lessons short, to the point, as obnoxious as possible (people tend to remember them that way) and the actual participants who are receiving my personal attention shall be limited in number (VERY limited in number).

This does not mean others may not participate... It simply means I cannot offer them one on one assistance. I reserve the right to remove this direct assistance in favor of a more general approach with which everyone, hopefully, may partake.

I shall try (I have always been very trying, just ask anyone who knows me) to produce lessons which are concise and which shall allow for anyone to begin the course... Whether I survive it is another matter altogether.

Please remember I am an older lady and VERY set in my ways.
Those who are recalcitrant shall find my ruler across their knuckles.
I have had one young person discover that already and I hadn't yet begun to teach.

The style of writing I use is, while not unique, very different to that of most and makes for both easy and difficult reading. (WOW, how is it possible for diametrically opposed points of view to exist simultaneously?) Well, that's how the world works, girls and boys...

I do not intend to teach you to write. I intend to attempt to introduce you to the shadowy realm of alternate means of expressing your views and thereby drawing in that ever elusive monster you seek called "an audience".

Back to your assignment. This short you are about to produce is not intended for human consumption unless you wish to place it there. I would prefer you save this your first attempt, however good, and each subsequent attempt at the various assignments I shall hand out. The reasoning is thus, when we finish these lessons you will once again be writing about this cat. The difference between this work and that of our indeterminate future work WILL at that time be published together for others to read and judge.

Wow, talk about the hot seat...

The change in your abilities are what we want to see.

NOW STOP before you write anything!!!

When you write each of these assignments REWRITE is NOT permitted, except for spelling corrections. The first words you use in your attempts will be those which are your final usage in each assignment, so choose carefully.

"Oh, now she's making it a little tougher." What may I say? I'm a bitch (no, not a dog) and I know it.

The reasoning behind this approach is to expand your mind's usage of words such that it will gradually reach out to find words to place into your creations which more properly convey that which you really wish to have known. Did I thoroughly confuse everyone here?

Vocabulary... Without it, one may not express oneself. Without the ability to express oneself you shall have a difficult time capturing that elusive beast, an "audience". You don't need that vocabulary overnight... but as you desire more and more to tighten your control of that which you convey, you will expand your vocabulary and your grammatical capacities until you will hardly recognize this your earliest work when compared to your final work of the future similar assignment.

Good Luck
God Bless You, and I'll see you in four weeks to hand out your first assignment's gold stars.

Teddi

PS.

I ask that anyone "taking this course" notify me that they are participating through a private message. No great literary comments are needed... I don't want to clutter my mail-box (or Erin's server) with excessive verbiage.
I shall maintain a list of all who so wish to participate as well as how many lessons they take the time to produce. Please bear in mind... The doctors are still working overtime to try to learn why I am fainting and otherwise being a "pain in the neck," amoung other places, to them.
Spell correction may be made with a competent spell checker and those of you who have a built in gramatical checker, please use same.
The object here is not to produce literary masterpieces of proper spelling but to widen your minds to methods of expression, not to mention learning to attract your audience. If you don't know who your audience happens to be then how may you attract them?

Well, this is all very nice but now I'm tired again so, I think I shall have a nice little nap curled up on my chair in the warm sun.