Hmmm... I'll have to give that one some thought. The protagonist will be named Alexander, of course. I haven't decided if he (she) will move to Australia or not.

By the way, why no magical transformations? (Not that I mind. I'm more likely to use technological techniques, anyhow. Nanites, anyone?)

Ray Drouillard

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

I hate oversleeping and being late. I also hate others to be late. I tell them that they should just stay home. I mean after all, the work assignments have been given out. When a person shows up late, then every one grumbles about the inevitable changes. So, maybe I should take my own advice and not go in today. Yea, guess I will. Practice what you preach and all that.

So, now that I'm not going to work today, what'll I do, hmmmmmm. Oh, yea, haircut and I need new shoes. Haven't had a good cut for a couple of months and nows the time. As for the shoes, I guess one of the Marts will have the simple style I like. Breakfast first.

Making my way into the kitchen, I see I'm out of coffee. Dam. That's terrible. I'm a hardcore Caffiene junkie. Gotta get my fix. Ughhhh! Back to the bedroom to change and then off the the Coffee Shop.

Good weather, bright sky. Nice day for a pleasant walk. "Hey, watch out for that car!" I scream, but it's too late. The driver of the car ran up on the curb and hit the little boy on the bicycle. I was trying to console him when the Policeman arrived. "I saw what happened, Officer. That car just came up on the sidewalk and hit the kid on his bicycle, knocking the kid into the wall. I tried to talk to the kid, all he said was Mommy, then he died. Right in front of me. How horrible!" I was crying and I don't usually get emotional like this. But, God, a kid. The Officer thanked me for my atatement and I was told I could go. The officer had my name and number and said that if they, meaning the police, needed anything else, they'd call me. I staggered off on unsteady feet.

I got to the Coffee Shop and waited in line to place my order. And, yea, it actually is called the Coffee Shop. Not one of them buck places, you know. I waited for my order to be filled. So far my morning wasn't the highlight of my day. It could only get better, I mean, Right! My number was called and I retrieved my drink. I went to the table to fix it like I wanted. A little of this, a little of that, stir, then HAPPY TIME. So, maybe I get carried away with coffee, at least it's not crack or coke or some other shit. Coffee is 100% legal. I blew across the top of the cup and I smelled the enticing aroma. Then I raised the cup as I opened my mouth slightly to take that first taste of the aromatic brew. Closer to my lips the cup edge came as my anticipation increased. Finally the cup and my lips were together in that moment when everything is just perfect and I tasted my first sip of the day. Yuck, Pfew, Uggh. NO GOOD, this coffer tasted like crap. I was so suprised by the taste that I let the cup slip out of my hand and it splattered all over the floor. That can come to no good as I saw the look of the patrons and the staff. I make weak appologies and left sans nectar of the gods. My morning was off to a wonderful start. Think God was trying to tell me something?

I just aimed my feet down the sidewalk. So far today I was a few strokes behind and I didn't think I was gonna make par. Oh, well, keep walking. I found a Mart and went in. I wandered around, looking at this and that. I was looking at a pair of pants when I noticed someone looking at me. Some guy I don't know. Maybe he was waiting for me to put the pants back cause he wanted to buy them. I put them back, I was just looking. I went to a different part of the store. I saw that shoes were on sale, buy one pair, get second pair half off. The ones I usually wore were covered by the sale so I grabbed two pair in my size. I made for the register to pay. Near the register, I was bumped by the person I saw earlier in the clothing section. We both said excuse me and apologized for running into each other. I picked up my shoe boxes and continued to the register. I paid and picked up my bag to leave the store.

Outside the store, I stopped for a moment and to my suprise, a police officer stepped up to me and said, "You are under arrest for Larceny." He continued with the rest of the Miranda rights. I must have looked silly standing there with my mouth open and no sound coming out. The officer just used his shoulder radio to request a squad car. I was still speechless and waited as the officer opened the back door and told me to get in. He had already put handcuffs on my wrist.

The officer driving smiled and drove me to the jail. I was helped out of the squad car and taken thru a small door into a room with mirrors. I was told to sit in a chair at the table and the handcuffs were taken off. The officer that escorted me said someone would be here in a few minutes to talk to me and tell me what was what. I just nodded my head and he left.

A while later, a female officer came into the room and introduced herself. She said that she was going to search me and if necassary do a cavity search. She said that if I just surendered the item I stole, it would be a lot better. I was confused and confessed my innocence. She smiled and said, "Have it your way."

She stood and opened the door then motioned for me to accompany her, took me to another room. She told me to take off all my clothes. She was smiling as I unbuttoned my shirt. Then her smile turned to a frown as I took it off. I kicked off my shoes and infastened my pants. I steped out of my pants and she frowned more. Then, taking a deep breath, I hooked my thumbs into the waistband of my underwear and pushed them down. I was bright red with embarassment. She let out an audible gasp, then said, "You're not a girl. We got the wrong one. Shit." I was having a very bad day.