For those who've been reading my stuff, they know I'm a big fan of Lilith Langtree's The Center, and I was quite disappointed (a case of understatement there) when she disappeared from the writing scene here in Topshelf.

The readers here, as well as in other similar sites, often take to task the people who write the stories that they read, for many reasons - perhaps for bad writing; perhaps for limited imagination; perhaps for atrocious grammar; perhaps for misusing sayings or for misunderstanding a saying, an expression, an aphorism, an idiom; for selecting the wrong font; for something you think the writer will do or won't do even though she hasn't done it yet. So many reasons - as may reasons as there are stars in the sky. And I am afraid I do this, too, on occasion. Like any normal reader, I feel a kind of entitlement, too - I feel I am entitled to have good stories, and therefore I feel I am entitled to berate or dress down a writer for these infractions, that I am entitled to bully the writer.

But that isn't right, is it? Whether the one logged on is a reader or a writer, no one is entitled to bully someone else.

There are six things here:

One - We feel we are justified or entitled to bully someone - the justification for this bullying being these "egregious" writing "crimes" that aren't really crimes the weight of these things are only crimes in our heads. These are just stories! Why are we getting so bent out of shape enough that we want to be hurtful? Which leads me to Number Two;

Two - we feel we can bully someone here because there are no repercussions or consequences, We are in the internet, after all, where we can hide in our anonymity, which allows us to be the biggest a$$holes in the universe and we won't be held accountable simply because we are anonymous;

Three - We take things too personally! Especially for those of us who have very little else going on in our lives, we believe that the stories we read we own - that these are our property, and, as such, we can do what we want, and believe that what happens in these fictitious universes are real and are happening to us - not necessarily a bad thing because, after all, that is usually what the writer is going for - for her audience to be transported to her fictitious world, and for her audience to identify with her fictitious characters. The thing is, when she is successful in transporting her audience, there are some that identify too much, or assume that these fictitious things are happening to them personally, or the words of the writer are directed to them personally, and would be incredibly hurt if the writer's words weren't just so. And any wronged person would want to get satisfaction, and get back at the writer in some way, forgetting that it was just a story. Which brings me to number four;

Four - Our pride gets in our way, that, even though we realize we have done someone wrong, we cannot own up to them and actually apologize. But then, why should we - no one knows us on the internet, right? So why should we? Why should we admit that we did something wrong when no one knows it's us? What is integrity, after all, right? and;

Five - we have a need to be involved, to be seen and be acknowledged by others. But if we have nothing to bring to the table, like some great insight, some fabulous idea, or even a funny quip or anecdote, then we make do with yelling at people, or insulting them. It's sort of like someone who wants to be noticed, but if they're not pretty or they don't have nice clothes or a flashy car, or a new idea, but still wants to be noticed by the cute boy or pretty girl in the class, they make do by making an ass of themselves. That does get them some attention, but much, much later, that's the only time when they realize, when it's too late, that the attention wasn't the kind of attention they wanted, and, connected with that -

Six - that what we do, it has to be out in public, because, if we do it via, say, a PM or Private Message, it will not do - it has to be out in public. So people will notice. It's like, why send a PM - you have to put it out on twitter or facebook so people will know it's from you.

 
There are some others, however, that are psychopathic enough that want attention - any kind of attention - good or bad, so long as he's noticed. It's like those people who paint graffiti on brand-new buildings, or destroy a statue and put the video up on Youtube, or spit on a cake so no one else can have any. For such people, there really is no solution - they're just plain old SOBs, and there's really nothing to be done for SOBs...

As for the others -

There's one thing I learned: writers are held accountable for so many things - grammar skills, composition skills, knowledge about her subject matter, et cetera. They're even held accountable for having good taste. So many things, and because it is an article of faith that writing is not a skill that is easily pigeonholed, anyone and everyone can hold the writer accountable for anything. So anyone can put anything in a comment, and fancy themselves as some kind of blameless critic, or someone righteously taking down a bad, bad writer for whatever-it-was-that-she-did-that-was-totally-unforgivable-and-must-be-told-off.

But here's the thing - critics, like writers, must have skills as well. Being a critic, or even if you don't fancy yourself as a critic but "just some reader who wants to put up a comment" - there are things you are also held accountable for. You aren't entitled to just vent your spleen or indulge in shouting or insults, for one thing.

And I can quote many things that you have to be to comment or to be a critic, like being constructive, or being relevant, or not taking things personally, or avoid being insulting, et cetera. But, after all, you are anonymous in the internet so no one knows you so you can do any old thing you want and escape blame. You can even have dozens of user IDs and you can indulge your id and say anything you want. No accountability.

But really, all it takes are two simple things:

one - Review your words: consciously control your words, meaning, do what most people who are avoiding hurting people do when they write - before you post, review what you've written; think about your words first because, once posted, it'll be out there already, and you can't take them back.

two - Be considerate. Think of the other person - the writer. Think of what she'll feel after you've posted your comment or your PM or your email or whatever. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. It's what's called empathizing.

But then there are the psychopathic in us that says, so what? I don't care. I don't care if I spray graffiti all over the walls, or spit in the cake.

I keep on saying there's no consequence. But there is - maybe not a big one, but there is.

If one doesn't try to be a good Bigcloset resident, then we will lose more people like Lilith.

So, please, don't spit on the cake. I, myself, am avoiding this - why do you think I don't comment on the stories I've read?

So, don't spit on the cake. 'kay?

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