The story of Tocarra, a transgendered girl in an alternative high school in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, is told by her teacher in the publication, Rethinking Schools. It's a tragedy, but like all tragedies it shows the triumph of spirit. The opening paragraphs of the story follow. Click on link to read complete story.
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"In the fall of 2005, a group of teachers opened the Alliance School of Milwaukee. Many of us on the planning team had witnessed the discrimination and homophobic harassment of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning (LGBTQ) youth in traditional schools, and it was our intention to create a place where it would be “OK to be black, white, gay, straight, gothic, Buddhist, Christian, or just plain unique.” What we didn't know was how far outside those doors we would have to go in standing up for our students.
"Tocarra was one of my students at the high school where I taught before starting Alliance, and she was one of the reasons I felt so passionate about the mission of the school. A transgender student who was just starting to transition when I first met her, Tocarra was lucky to have great family support, and she was very proud of who she was."
Comments
One of my biggest fears...
is that my family will try to do that to me after I pass. My son has sworn he will not let it happen. Bless that teacher who spoke up for Tocarra and all the friends who also spoke on her behalf when she could no longer do so.
Thank you for sharing this.
The impression I get is:
From the family's reaction I would say they simply did not make any custom arrangements and simply let the Funeral Home do the default, which is really sad, but understandable, otherwise they would not have been so receptive to the teachers speaking and then joined in.
The Minister was doubly wrong, not only the TG issue but also that, you do not put someone down at their funeral, it is not right is not right, no matter what. I suspect that Tocarra will receive a more ready welcome in the after life the a Minister who preaches hate, but maybe he will find redemption.
Although it was short, and she had to go through some hardships first, she had a good life it seems, and will be remembered fondly by many, in the end that is all that really counts.
May she rest in peace!
Must Reading
A sad tale in so many way; however, I see hope. I'm not sure going on that TV show was the right thing to do; however ...
Portia
Springer was a blight
I am surprised any T person would appear on such a venue.
Thing is, he will NOT invite on a show someone he cannot make do some tawdry or ridiculous behavior. A transsexual woman who has poise, class, presence, beauty etc would NOT be invited on. I heard at least one story of Jerry saying flat out to one who transwoman saying that she belongs on the cover of Vogue and there is no story (way to exploit her) here.
I am sad for all those who could not withstand the tide.
Edit: Well I thought it was in the past but apparently he is still crawling along. God there is so much trashy people out there :(. I suggest we amend the expression that only cockroaches would survive a nuclear holocaust to only cockroaches and Jerry Springer.
Kim
An Oddly Uplifting Post
I wonder how often this sort of thing happens? Here are a couple of extracts from Mark Everett's 'Things The Grandchildren Should Know'. (For those of you who may not recognise the name, Mark is the songwriting genius behind the band Eels.)
[My mother] decided that it was time to plan her funeral...her last wish was for the organist to play the old Roy Rogers song 'Happy Trails' at the end of the service, as everyone walked out.
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People awkwardly held their hands up and told anecdotes about her, even though it was against her wishes. I didn't get it. As the minister signalled that it was time for us to stand up and leave, I didn't recognise the music the organist was playing. Where the fuck is 'Happy Trails'? I thought. I got to the church entrance where the minister was standing, and with tears welling in my eyes asked him: 'What happened to "Happy Trails"?'
'Oh yes. We couldn't find the sheet music for it.'
I felt like punching the motherfucker right there in his church. The last thing my mom asked for, someone that never asked for much, and you couldn't find the sheet music? How fucking hard can it be? You could have started by calling me, because my mom had the sheet music sitting right there on her upright piano. Her last wish, and what would have been a great moment for her and the rest of us, went ungranted.
When it's my turn I want readings from Lucretius, Omar Khayyam and Christopher Hitchens. At the end of the service I want Frank Zappa's 'Blessed Relief' played at full volume. And I want a banner unfurled with the message TO BE CONTINUED.
http://youtu.be/fTrZAq7Q8Wk
Dream on, Nicki.
But this was an oddly uplifting post nonetheless. Thank you for taking the trouble to link to it.
Disappearing
What happened to Tocara is inexcusable, and that they would use a fucking Baptist minister, what the hell were they thinking?
This winter I am changing my name, again, for the purpose of keeping my family from touching me or even knowing when I die. I have had enough of fuckers who just can't adapt.
Poor kid, I am sorry for the shit she experienced.
Gwendolyn
I found the story to be bittersweet.
While I found the desecration of Tocarra's body to be disheartening. I found the story before that to be bittersweet.
Her life was not taken by violence, like so many transgendered. Nor, was it suicide. She had heart problems, she knew it ahead of time, and she died of natural causes.
From what I have read, she was a wonderful person. Her soul is likely in a better place, and she did not see the embarrassment of what was done with her body. So, let us take that for what it is worth.
Let us hope and pray that wherever her soul is now, she can finally be herself.
A sad story
...
But I am glad the teacher and students fought and made the service something special to remember in their lives, rather than letting that minister ruin their last shared experience with Tocarra.
xx
Amy
In Defense of the Family and Tocarra
I think, dear friends, that while I certainly would not go onto that show either, we must remember she was in her teens. Sometimes at that age, none of us made the wisest of decisions.
Yes, the family should have prepared for the funeral in many ways, but as one who has had to bury a daughter most unexpectedly I know families not prepared for making good decisions then either.
It was indeed a heart-wrenching event.
Being in Milwaukee, I am aware of the Milwaukee Alliance School and know students who had gone there and benefited from the school. For more information, go to: http://www5.milwaukee.k12.wi.us/school/alliance/