Today we rented Cloud Atlas.
I know, I'm a bit late to getting around to checking it out, but nevertheless, I was excited to check it out, given it's connection to our community and all, not to mention simply having heard good things about it.
One scene, however, was enough to ruin the experience for me.
Not because of the scene, mind you, but because of my mom's reaction to it.
Perhaps I should have looked up more information on the film or something, but (SPOILERS, sorta) near the beginning there is a scene where two men -- lovers -- wake up in bed with one another. Nothing more naughty than a naked bum and an affectionate kiss is seen, but nevertheless my mom's reaction was an "ohmigod!" and a following rant concerning what kind of movie I had rented us to watch.
This embarrassed me to no end, and ruined any chance I had of finishing the movie after that.
I get embarrassed very, VERY, easily, moreso around my family, and even moreso when it's honestly something I don't think should be embarrassing to me, if that makes sense. The scene was fine to me -- nothing particularly wrong with it, and I've watched enough LGBT cinema that it really was a non-issue regardless of my own orientation, which is shall we say "undecided." But my mom's reaction... it made me feel as though by not being bothered by it, I was somehow guilty or wrong, and that caused me no end of embarrassment.
It also, I might add, scares me about her reactions in the future should I ever bring home a boyfriend of my own, given that regardless of my gender presentation at the time I'm not altogether sure her reaction wouldn't be similar.
Does this kind of thing ever happen to anyone else here? One person's reaction, even outside of any reference to you or your own situation, being enough to cause you so much discomfort you simply can't deal with the situation any more?
Melanie E.
Comments
Welcome to my world.
Oddly, I'm in a really happy time in my life, my circle of friends are all Mormon churchies here in Portland. They are extremely loving, kind and absolutely accepting. Recently, complaining to my Bishop about my loneliness, he said that I should date and perhaps get married.
How will my friends accept this? I would not do it because my sex drive is tormenting me, but simply for companionship. Will the churchies in my life accept that? Only time will tell. And, yes I have seen a couple guys that are extremely appealing to me ... How is this going to work out?
Even more oddly, there is a gay man that likes to do drag all the time that is coming to the church also, and trying to advance GBLT issues, and asking for, and getting food from our food stores, asking for and getting rental assistance, bus pass help, and help with bills, and then on Facebook and Youtube criticises the church. Talk about a puppy wetting his own bed... Sigh. Why do some people think it is OK to bite the hand that feeds them?
As to "Cloud Atlas", I did not make it past that scene either. Let us know if you ever watch it. :)
More on the news at 11:00 PM
Gwendolyn
I made it past that scene
As far as the android sex-scene part, which was weird on its own but nothing that I haven't seen in movies before. By that time, though, my dad was passed out in his chair and my mom had stormed off to her room muttering under her breath.
It made me feel like I shouldn't have been watching the movie, which was worse than leaving in the middle of the narrative.
Maybe later I'll put it in in the DVD player in my room and just watch it on my own, where I can't offend anybody. Until then, I'm still trying to deal with just feeling hurt, and trying to figure out exactly why I feel that way...
Melanie E.
Cloud Atlas
OK, well I watched the trailer just now, and off hand, a Tom Hanks movie is not going to offend me, just saying.
By the way, it is 3 hours long ...
Another day perhaps.
Gwendolyn
Not quite... but...
Similar.
I get embarrassed of them and their OTT reactions to things that really don't freaking matter. Would that same scene have been between a man and a woman those same people wouldn't say much more than maybe a lament about the loss of innocence in today's media or something.
Make it a homosexual couple and it's "WTH!!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!" And I'm just embarrassed to be around someone doing that.
I also will watch very adult films these days and not think terribly much of it although those people would even if the adult nature isn't pornographic. Just because people are realistically being portrayed without clothing in scenes where they wouldn't have clothing it's porn to those people.
I won't watch porn though. No real interest and I find most of it disturbing to an uncomfortable degree.
Abigail Drew.
Not recently....
However, when my ex-wife and I were still together, we couldn't watch anything that had either cross dressing or transgendered people in it - not without her getting upset and giving me some very accusatory sidelong glances.
At the time, she knew that I had cross dressed previously, but that was the extent of it. She suspected more, and lo and behold, she was right. The funny thing is that she was certain of it long before I was.
In answer to your question, yes, she was extremely uncomfortable with it, and made me very uncomfortable just because she was there looking at me. It even got to the point where I didn't even need to be there. If she watched something that had cross dressers or transgendered men or women in it, then she would treat me with extreme suspicion for days afterward. Even though at the time I was completely innocent. She would search through my office, my clothes, my car, etc. when I wasn't around. All because watching something on TV had aroused her suspicions.
So, you are not alone in that.
Dallas
D. Eden
“Hier stehe ich; ich kann nicht anders. Gott helfe mir.”
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus
Women have dragon blood.
I once read a series of book by Elizabeth Haydon, a fantasy author, where some of the characters had dragon blood and were extremely possessive.
As much as I wish it were not so, I will never think completely like a genetic woman, though I most certainly do not think like a man. Having been immersed in women's culture now for 8 years, I've learned a lot about them. Women are really possessive and will not compete with anyone else for her place in the home. A cross dresser of any description is a threat to her basic nature, and any woman who will stay with a husband who does this deserves saint hood.
This is not saying anything against the who T culture, but given a woman's nature, we just can not expect them to stay with us. I just had an exchange with my son on FB, and I can say without reservation that families generally do not take to the activity either.
I well know that the need to change is not resistible, but there is a heavy cost.
Gwendolyn
I find most
scenes with cross dressers or transsexuals embarrassing because mostly they don't represent me or others that I know, they tend to do stereotypes.
As for parents; if you live in their house they have some sort of right to set the rules.
Angharad
Yes, but...
This wasn't even about cross dressers or ts. It was an intimate scene where the lovers just happened to both be male. And it wasn't even THAT intimate.
Abigail Drew.