I held my wife close when she started sobbing again.

The police officer turned to me and asked, "Can you tell me what happened, sir?"

"Her armpit hairs are missing," I answered.

The officer's hand froze. He stared at his notes as if they'd suddenly changed into a foreign language, then looked up at me and said, "And?"

"And?!" I screamed in frustration and anger. "She was growing it for years! Now all that's left is the scent of shaving cream."

"What are you saying?"

I took a breath to calm myself, then said, "Officer, someone shaved my wife tonight."