I wrote this post this afternoon at the FM Hyperboard
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But the Task Force's concern for upsetting comments or posts to this hyperboard are a recent phenomonon. One I would a causation of the Noah Veil controversy of a few years back and then the website being shut down by its ISP. The Task Force is still smarting from that and rather than have another storm that happened like the NV one, are deleting anything that comes along that threatens another one. No dissent means they won't ever be made to look bad.
Just this morning a TF member deleted a post that linked to a insensitive comment made by Mr. Ram. That can't be allowed apparently. Mr. Ram has never apologized for it BTW.
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Mr. Ram sent this reply.
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Daniel,
As I remember, you posted at Big closet that you were still mourning a miscarriage that your wife had years ago. That you named it and buried it in a cemetery and you go there annually to mourn.
I think I said that I thought that it was a sick thing to do and that you and your wife should not dwell on it and get on with your lives.
I still think that naming and mourning a miscarriage is not normal and is not a healthy thing to do.
The fact that you dwell on my remarks and have brought it up on message boards from time to time over the years makes me question your sanity.
I will not apologize for something I said that I believe to be true.
I will do you a favor and continue to delete any of your posts that dredge this up, you are embarrassing yourself by refusing to let it go.
Mr. Ram
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This character is a very sick individual. A living baby is never an it.
Whether he or she lives for 14.5 hours or 100 years.
He thinks I'm sick for going to the cemetery with my wife and family
regularly.
My son was alive and breathing. Not a miscarriage.
He won't apologize even though everyone who responded two years ago to his
post though his sentiments were misplaced. Misplaced is a nice word. Some
people used much stronger language. No one supported him.
Read what he wrote about deleting stuff. A conflict of interests if you
ever saw one. Where is the rest of the task force?
My son has been dead for 9 years and this person thinks he is an inanimate
object. Mr. Ram thinks I and my family are sick.
The Post on Daniel is here.
BTW The FM TF may or not be overly sensitive now. Noone else has chimed in .
Comments
I think this is a classical
I think this is a classical case of an individual who doesn't want to see he is an ass. If he doesn't like the fact that you mourn your child he's free to ignore you.
He probably thinks he gave you good advice "to get over it", but didn't consider it might not be so easy. Don't take his words to your heart. Where you can find people, there you can find asses - and wise asses.
I recall when this arose...
...I cannot begin to say how sad I am for your loss. We lost four to miscarriage; one very late in the term, requiring my wife to undergo a very painful procedure which made our loss all the more hard to endure. And we named them; Anthony, Angelina, Fiore and Marie. Joseph turned twenty-three on Saturday, thank God. Not to diminish my own loss, but how much more painful and horribly sad for you and your family to hold a child in your arms and say goodbye?
But even if none of that had beset us, I would still feel sad for your loss. Dreams left unfulfilled and the attachments that go on even if life has ceased; making the loss that much more painful though still precious and dear. I cried for Daniel then and I weep now, dear heart. May your son rest in peace and may you and your family receive solace and comfort. Much love to you and yours.
Love, Andrea Lena
Misanthropes
Clearly there is something wrong with this person, but you will never get them to admit it or apologize.
I know two people who can be incredibly unkind and cutting in a similar way, and though neither has been unkind to me, I've tried (at length) to talk with them about the harm and hurt they cause.
Each of them try to portray themselves as being quite rational and reasonable, and won't admit to being hurtful.
And worst of all, they use any remarks by their target or about their offense as a pretext for more abuse.
Unfortunately, all you can do is walk away.