TopShelf TG Fiction in the BigCloset!
I cant decide how to start this
points are
waking up on a wooden boat/at sea
the sound of wave
the motion of the boat
the smell of the sea
on a cot btw
my tries
I awoke to the sound of waves and the sensation of rising and falling
Still half-asleep I was startled awake
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Comments
writers block
I can visualize this im my mind but icant put it into words
In an onrush of strange sensations I awoke>
I awoke in a myriad of unfamiliar sensations, not the least of which was the subtle rocking and swaying motion i was experiencing
hugs :)
Michelle SidheElf Amaianna
Keep trying...
Don't necessarily have a long spell trying to formulate the words. Go away, do something else, perhaps even take a few days. You know the scenario, so at odd moments mull it over in your head, visualise it, try and work out what's going on - not just the events but the sights, sounds, smells, feelings etc.
If the worst comes to the worst and you have ideas for the next scene, do that and come back to the start later on. Or if you're really truly stuck, scribble down your ideas in a word processor document or text file, and try something else; retuning to 'Afloat' when you next hit upon an idea for it.
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!
Concentrate on the scene
You have a lot going on here, but I would want to know more. For example, since the sound of waves is present, one must be fairly close to the shore. Otherwise, you wouldn't hear that.
You said something about a cot and a wooden boat. This must be a boat of some size... large enough to allow the use of cots for sleeping (though cots aren't really very practical as in rougher seas they would likely slide along the deck.)
I would start with the action and move to my perceptions...
"The rocking of the boat rocked me slowly to consciousness..."
That may be kind of passive, but you've given no clues as to whether this is a routine situation or something new... whether it is comforting or frightening.
Don't worry about it, though. Just write beyond that point and come back to it. What you write will help you refine how you want to introduce it.
Janet
Janet
Mistress of the Guild of Evil [Strawberry] Blonde Proofreaders
To be or not to be... ask Schrodinger's cat.
Don't
Pick at it, let it pick at you. In time things will firm up.
Maggie
Writing it down helps, I've
Writing it down helps, I've lost plenty of story ideas because I didn't write anything down. Eventually it will firm up and you'll have a story.
Samantha
Put it all together
Throw in a couple sensory verbs and it all pulls together nicely:
"Still half-asleep, I heard the sound of waves and felt the sensation of rising and falling. I was startled to full awakeness by..."
ill give it a shot.
I awoke to the sound of waves crashing against wood. The gentle rocking motion of a boat was mixed with the feel of a soft bed. The salt tang in the air let me know I was out to sea. I was not fully awake but this was not how I remembered going to sleep last night.