Yup, today's the day I take another step further into old-gitness.

I'm fifty-one for fuck's sake, I never imagined reaching twenty-one and after a really odd year, I look back in wonder as whilst some of this year has totally overshadowed the rest - the car accident and all - I've now got a house in France, published my first book and wonder what fifty-one's going to be like.

I'd heard lots of stories about reaching thirty and the same with forty, but all I've managed to ascertain is that life disappears faster the older you get. Weeks just fly past in a blur of nothing much and less seems important or certainly not as important as it used to. That one thought brought the following to mind and I apologise to anyone who's already seen it ...

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.

The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have this green thing back in my earlier days."

The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations."

She was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day. Back then, we returned milk bottles, soft drink bottles and beer bottles to the shop and even got paid for doing so. The shops then sent them back to the plant to be washed, sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over again. Isn't that recycling?

But we didn't have the green thing back in our day. We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every shop or office building. We walked to the supermarket and didn't climb into a car that does five gallons to the mile every time we had to go two minutes down the road.

But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day. Back then we washed the baby's nappies because we didn't have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up heaven knows how many kilowatts -- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.

But that young lady was right. We didn't have the green thing back in our day. Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of a football pitch. In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. I wonder if that girl even knows what whisk is?

But she's right. We didn't have the green thing back then. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not purpose-made polystyrene chips or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn petrol just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

But she's right. We didn't have the green thing back then. We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.

But we didn't have the green thing back then. Back then, people took the bus, and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their parents into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical socket in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest takeaway.

But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?

I remember all of the above and I'm sure many of you out there do too - if anyone actually reads this, that is, but today, I'm not thinking. I'm going to go to the shop and that's about it. It's my birthday and to hell with the chores, to hell with France and our poor lonely house, I can deal with all that tomorrow.

Happy birthday to me!