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Finally!
I've finished and posted the Nightingale's Song.
It is the longest story I've written to date; no doubt a bonanza of typos. The story is long and bittersweet, but far more sweet than bitter at the end. I was even kicking around the idea of following it with a short, called The Death of Captain Catoriel. Where at the funeral, Tanya and Gale appear (ethereally) and escort the old warrior away from the mortal world (all the while giving Sasha gibes about how stubborn her soul was to be staying in her old dead body for so long when she could be playing with the poet and singer).
-A
Comments
The Nightingale's Song blog
Love the pic
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Thank you Stanman
As always, thanks for your encouragement.
-A
My comment says-
how much I loved the story! However, do you have an idea for which one you might be working on next? *cough*cough* A Djinna Tale. :)
hugs
Grover
Poor Azura
I know, Grover! I've let A Djinna Tale languish for far too long. And poor Azura! You would not believe what happens when Jacob figures out she is a genie, and...
I really should finish that one, shouldn't I?
-A
Yeah... you should ^^ Poor
Yeah... you should ^^ Poor guy... his girlfriend transforms him into a genie by wishing her other friend healed and that one will probably enslave her.
And she can't even use her wish power for herself. Azura really got the short end of the stick.
Beyogi
And those were the good things-
that happened to poor Azura! Number One important safety tip! Never forget to wipe memory of magic words that changes your brother into a Dijina from bystanders.
hugs
Grover
I wonder what they can order
I wonder what they can order the djinnas... I mean he might try to turn Azura into his sex slave or something. There are limitations that they can't do damage to humanity, but then Djinnars aren't human. I wonder if they can commit suicide.
I wonder what her ex? bleeding hard girlfriend will do now? Hook up with the healed guy and abandon her, or change herself?
hugs
Beyogi
Problems with male characters
It seems to me like you have some problems with male characters. The Nightingale's Song didn't really have any except for the transformee and the rapist. That was probably for the better, since your stories are pretty much an examplar case for stereotyping male charaters in TG stories.
1. The transformee: A male to female transformee who has an actual character with a backstory that influences "her" actions.
2. The rapist: Male antagonist, general evil male. Will rape the transformee, some other helpless female, or a whole country.
3. The stupid: Males are stupid, everyone knows, don't they? A plot device NPC that has no brain and only learned behavior that fits his stereotype.
4. The white knight in shining armor: If the transformee isn't a lesbian she needs a love interest. That person needs to be what every female dreams of her mate. He doesn't have any real flaws.
5. The plot device: If one needs a character that can't be female but needs to fullfill a role he'll step in. He has no character, but then he only needs to say some sentences and disappear.
Armond, you're not the only one who does this, but pretty much every male character you ever used fell into these criteria. I finally read duty and destiny and I just couldn't stand it anymore. Your female characters are as diverse as they can get, but your male ones are like NPCs in a computer game. They have their lable and have to fullfill their role without own ideas.
Maleness becomes a fatal disease that leads to critical brain malfunction. That's bullshit and rather misandric. I doubt that this is your intention, and you might want to give your male characters more dimensions. They're intelligent and can do everything a female can, except for giving birth.
Your stories could be so much more if the male characters weren't so utterly predictable.
You mentioned Jacob in djinna tales... He'll probably be the sterotypical rapist. Getting power over poor Azura and abusing it until someone stops him. Why can't he for once realize that what he does is cruel and morally wrong? I mean sure if I'd be about to die I'd probably be egoistic too, but that doesn't mean that this is his only character trait.
Well maybe it won't happen, but it was the first thing that popped into my head when you mentioned jacob. Armond Story, male, egoistic, possible power position = rapist.
You tend to use mostly female casts, so it isn't that obvious, but improving your male characters would really improve the stories.
I really like your stories, you write some of the best TG stories around here imho. The awesome thing it that those are stories that have a real plotline, drama and an end. I know once I see Armond on a story, that it'll be a full story and not something that is screwed up somewhere on the way. Thank you for providing these great reads,
Beyogi
Poorly written villains, yes, but no anti-male bias
Interesting thoughts, Beyogi,
Though I agree my villains typically are 2-dimensional, (I do need to work on this) I've actually been very careful not to make rape a standard of my stories. So I will have to take issue with you on that. I do think you are right that I tend to populate my stories with far more females than males. But it is not an anti-male bias. Other than the main TG character, my stories (both at BC and FM) can be summarized:
1. The Stone of Lao Tzu
Female antagonist. Male mentor (Lao Tzu, no less). No rape.
2. The Summerland Path (unfinished)
Male antagonist, male supporting protagonist (Scalia, who is definitely not stupid). No rape. (Well, the Wild Hunt does have its way with the main character, but that's more of a force of nature than a stereotypical 'evil male', and is completely 'off camera').
3. Duty
Male antagonist. Duke Gyges. Not stupid but 2 dimensionally evil (and fun to write that way. If I could have had him twirling his mustache, I would have). No rape.
4. Silver Apples
Female antagonist (Sort of, she exits early) Supporting group of male and female characters (The psychiatrist is male, and is a well-developed character). No rape.
5. Redemption Song
Male antagonist, attacks Tanya, but never in the story. Attempted rape.
6. Assor esse Rosa
No true antagonist. No rape.
7. Black Orchids
Male antagonist (demon possessed vampire). Strong male protagonist supporting character: Conall Gadfaol, oldest living werewolf. Also, the vampire Barnaby (did no one get my Dark Shadows reference with this character?) is a strong supporting male character. No rape.
8. The NicBrig Chronicles: Connie and Seanna
F-M Antagonist. Rape (of main character by F-M antagonist).
9. Lake Lady
No antagonist (unless you call the Saxons the villain). Strong male supporting cast Duke Gorlois (final love interest of Uther/Ygrayne), and Merlin, no less. No rape.
10. Second Chance
Female and male antagonists. No rape.
11. Once Smitten, Twice Shy
Female antagonist. Male supporting cast (The lawyer and the centaurs). No rape.
12. Found in Translation
Female antagonist. No rape. Also, I would point out the main character stays male throughout the story.
13. After Winter
Male antagonist (Amangons) who is actually a villain from Arthurian literature. In the early Arthurian literature, Amangons was the king who ended the service of the Well Maidens, by ravishing them and encouraging his men to do the same. I portrayed him accurately, I think. Lily is attacked, by Amangons, but not raped.
14. To Make A Frittata, You Have To Break Some Eggs
Rewrite of Second Chance (see above)
15. The Necessity of Winter
Amangons again antagonist. No rape.
16. Fragrance
Male and female antagonists. Rape.
17, Lilim Tales
Non-human Male and female protagonist/antagonists. Hard to categorize this one.
18. Duty and Destiny.
Male antagonist. No rape
19. The Case of the Perfect Picture
Male antagonist (Satan, no less). No rape.
20. Moon Harper
Male and female antagonists. No rape.
In only two of my stories does an actual rape occur, and one of those rapists was the F-M antagonist.
Just my thoughts,
-A
It wasn't rape it was character sterotypes.
Sorry, it wasn't really rape what I meant. That's actually one of the good things about your stories that you use rape pretty sparingly. The problem is you use character clichés for your male characters.
1.Lao Tsu is an old Master. The dumbledore, Yoda type of the story. But then what else could he be? Ok doesn't really count ^^
2. I don't know about the summerland path since you have two versions and they're not really finished. I fear that your male side character will fall into the white knight categorie.
3. Yeah duty was kind of fun. That there was no rape was only due to devine intervention though. So the antagonist was a rapist, but one that didn't succeed.
6. Asor esse Rosa. The male knights are way too stupid. Nobility can lead to inbreeding, but that doesn't mean everyone of them is dumb.
7. Black Orchids: The Vampire wanted to rape, but Conall is a really cool character... He has flaws and is not a white knight in shining armor.
8. Nic Brig: Awesome story, but it was kind of sad what you did with the f2m guy. He united the TG fiction stereotypes of rapist and stupid.
9. Lake Lady: I don't really remember this one, but it is kind of normal that the characters are stereotyped here... I mean you use an old legend, so it is justified.
10. Second Chance: If I remember correctly there was a rape attempt due to the curse.
11. Once smitten: I need to reread this one, I can't really remember what happened ^^
12. Translation: Doesn't he end up female? But then he was "the transformee" and thus had to have a character.
13,15. The Winter stories: Yeah, Amagons doesn't really count, he's a psychopath and mad of his own evil. He would also work as a female character. The only thing that could save him was death.
14. Frittata: One of your best stories, but it lacked a male cast again. Why don't you post it here?
16. Fragrance: I have kind of a splitted opinion about this one. On one hand, the male antagonists are all rapists, Their reasons are pretty much stupid and they make most of the male cast. On the other hand the protagonist is transformed voluntarily and teases the stuck up female cast.
17. Lilim Tales: Well it's a horror story and the protagonist gets mind raped. The male lilim seems to be something between retarded and master manipulator and in the end I didn't know if he manipulated them all, or if he'd been just the stupid pawn. He's actually kind of an interesting character.
18. Duty and Destiny: Male antagonist that is a magnificent bastard. Male antagonist that is naive and stupid. Rape is relative... I mean the magician slave is beeing mindraped and force transformation is not what I'd call nice. They wanted to sell Calen to Arcurus. Everyone can guess what had happened.
Calens male friend is stupid, the council is stupid, the general of Parasia seems to be a plot device.
20. Moon Harper: Utter lack of male cast again. There is the transformee and the antagonists and the knight. The knight starts out kind of cool as an asshole "stfu stupid child" character, later he becomes the white knight in shining armor. With sacrifice and everything. The male characters in Boston fit into the stupid category and we have the dude that applied the tatoos, who would fit into the rapist theme.
4,5,19: Yes you're right here...
So in the end what am I complaining about? It'S not the actually occuring rape. But there are way more attempts and threats. It would be cool if the antagonists had good points. Maybe one of them is a mysoginist, but he fights against the discrimmination of colored people. (for example) Even if he is an asshole, he might have a line that he won't cross.
Give your positive male characters some negative personality traits so that they don't become the white knight in shining armor, the perfect mate. He could be easy to enrage or disdain transgendered or be lazy or too rash in his decisions. He might be stunted and need help.
Truth to be told, the last chapter of Duty and Destiny was the thing that started this comment. The male characters were just way to stupid. I just thought if this was reality there would be no way that they'd act this way.
Thank you for writing all these stories... How long do you do this already?
*hugs*
Beyogi
Duty and Destiny
There is a reason I stopped writing Duty and Destiny, Beyogi, and it was because I didn't like where the characters were going. I liked where the plot was headed, but the characters, except for the main three or four, were completely formulaic. I understand why you didn't want read it any more; I didn't want to write it anymore. I need to take the story down and rewrite the entire piece, from beginning to end (I don't even like the title anymore).
Sometimes I get a good story idea in my head, and in my rush to get it out, I cut corners with poor character development, to rush the story along. That's where an editor would be really helpful, to give the advice that you have provided in your posts.
Thanks again for your thoughts, they are appreciated,
-A
The character developement
The character developement stuff is something that one realizes after reading the story. When the first rush of awesomeness fades one realizes the flaws ^^
I have some questions about your stories though... Is "a life worth living" finished or work in progress? That seems kind of a sad story that still worked out somehow. I wonder if one can get a new soulmate...
I looked on your webblog today and it seems you've started djinna tales again. That would be really awesome ;)
Thank you for your beautiful stories and the time you invest in them.
Beyogi