Time doesn't stand still. Moving toward a transition, while still with ones family does contribute stresses. Sometimes these stresses can become more than a person can take, when combined with everything else going on.

What the heck am I talking about?

Perhaps I should back up a little.

I think I've mentioned I have a wife and two kids. The youngest is an attractive 14 year old. She's had her first dates after the first of the year... And then a messy break-up with the boy. (He didn't seem to know what the word NO meant. Luckily my daughter recognized this, and ended things, but he didn't appreciate being "dumped"... See, he's always been the "dumper" not the "dumpee" before.) In any event, it got messy, but she dealt.

Meanwhile - periodically, the family would go out together - four ladies. Shopping, dinner, theatre (they took me to see Spamalot), etc. My kids almost all the time (and wife more often than not) call me "Momma Anne" at home (when there are no visitors) and when out (when dressed or around strangers). They call me "dad" when appropriate as well. They've been amazing about this, and only once have either daughter made a mistake (and that time it was okay - the person didn't notice).

The down side of this back and forth - besides stress on me, was apparently stress on the younger daughter (remembering what to call me when). It got too much, and at her request, we took her back to the therapist she saw last summer. To cut things short, she's clinically depressed. (There's a bunch of other info you don't need to hear about, but they added up to this.) At her therapist's recomendation, we took her to a Psychiatrist who specializes in adolescents, and he agreed with the diagnosis and suggested that she might well benefit from meds (the first therapist thought so as well) for a while - to get through things.

See, there's several generations of documented depression on my mom's side of the family... The Psychiatrist said that there does seem to be a genetic predilection. It doesn't FORCE depression - but, when you have it, excess stress that isn't dealt with can trigger it. IF you don't have it, no matter how much stress a person is under, no depression.

What's all this about? Oh, yeah, my daughter's depression. Well, when it was first diagnosed, we decided that the mom of one of her friends should know too (she's a professional counselor). So - I clued her in... And, being the profesional, she asked questions and eventuailly I had to out myself in order to explain it all. TO no reaction. The next day, my wife got a call - that she just wants to know when we're going to tell her daughter (some time before the end of the summer) so she's ready to help her daughter deal with it. An unexpected, but welcome Ally! (The Silver Lining I referred to in my title.)

Beyond that, things are moving along SLOWLY. Little (nice) things here and there. Like, last week at church, our outgoing Pastor (he's only here a few more weeks) offered to anoint anyone in the congregation - with oil... (He was surprised that most everyone got up for the bit.) When I got up (dressed as a guy - mostly)... He anointed me - and prayed for Anne, using all the right pronouns. (He prayed quietly over everyone - As I couldn't hear what he said over anyone else, I doubt anyone could have heard this. But, believe me, it did feel good! :-)

I'm also in the process of learning about all the LGBT benefits/policies at work. I believe I mentioned that I joined the LGBT Advocacy group (a diversity group within the company), and was elected to the board last year... I was just asked, by the board president, to find the stuff out - summarize it, and provide references to the board so we are all better informed. (They think I'm a straight ally... And, I guess "legally" I still am. But, it feels like a lie to have them believe such. Not much longer!)

When will I transition (start RLT)? Not sure yet probably within the year (I can hope!)... Obviously, there's still quite a bit of work to do before that point (coming out at work and developing a plan, for example).

I'm hoping that things work out well for my daughter and family! I wish I didn't need to put them through this, but we've had that conversation before, more than once, and they are still behind me! Dunno how I came to deserve this.

I see I've rambled on quite a bit and I've probably lost at least half of those who started by now. Sorry about that. Perhaps there'll be interesting news, next time.

Thanks for listening (okay, reading).
Anne