Darkness Is Not My Thing

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Musetta' Waltz was an experiment that I guarantee you I will never venture into again. I wanted to write a story about the transgendered prisoner that Richard O'Donnell fell in love with and eventually married. The problem was she was a three time loser, and that was the reason she was there in the first place. As I said somewhere before, I was painted into a corner, after all pleasant events, supportive family, acceptance are not going to get someone in jail. In defense of Musetta's Waltz, it does get better, a lot better for her. That was one of the reasons I added three more chapters.

When I first started posting here (the only place I've ever posted by the way), I might have had the wrong impression about what was acceptable, what was desired by the readers. The fact that I was depressed and suffering from prostate cancer might have had a lot to do with it. Anyway, I've tried to make Musetta a bit more upbeat, although the ending is the same.

The stories since Musetta have, I hope, been considerably more upbeat. That is not to say there are some dark moments. I think you will find, those of you who care to, my next story considerably more upbeat, even if it is a bit weird and unplausable.

Okay, what started me writing this? When I read the bitter, bitter flaming and screaming that was posted here earlier, and then find out the results, it kicked in my depression big time. Life is too short and painful as it is without having some people taking themselves too seriously and reacting in a thoughtless way. If we were all great authors, we wouldn't be publishing here in the first place. Bob and Erin created two pleasant shelters for us to write about and vicariously (for some of us) to live out our dreams. None of us should go off like that. Take a breath, two, three breaths. Step back, get a soft drink or something. Write a private message. Get the answers you need before flying off the handle. I had the same question the other day, and Erin quietly answered it for me. I wasn't even mad. I just had to do something a bit differently than I had originally planned.

I love this site and the friends and authors I've met here. I don't want to lose them or this place. It's much too nice a place.

Portia

Comments

Same Here

Too much darkness and I get Seasonal Affective Disorder. Truth, but also sort of a joke?

Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee

Ready for work, 1992. Renee_3.jpg

Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee

You got flamed???!!!!

Why shucks Portia, people don't even like my stories well enough to flame them, so please feel honored. LOL

I think that writing is excellent therapy and decompression, and I had always assumed that at least some of our authors are in stir. Nothin agains them, I hope that they do their time and can get a fresh start. I sometimes wonder how I avoided prison? I never got in trouble for anything, but there were times when my anger was absolutely murderous, and I carried a gun much of the time. Thank god, I never got confused about the purpose of said weapon or my reason for carrying it.

I like your work a lot, though now that you mention Musetta's Waltz, I will probably not look at it since it does not take much to get me dangerously depressed at times.

Much peace.

Gwendolyn

It is what it is

kristina l s's picture

I suspect most that write, here perhaps especially, do so to explore something, exorcise a demon maybe or play with the what ifs. Time and place sets the feel and style and you run with the idea and see where it leads. Maybe not straight up but certainly after a few goes you develop a personal style of sorts and no longer dwell in the same places you might have. I'm not really a fan of revising, because it said something at the time and later it may not feel right, but there it is, growth maybe. I do get why people feel the desire to do so though.

The hardest thing for any 'manager' anywhere is dealing with people, because people are not cutouts and every single one somewhere sometime is a prima donna, so hissy fits such as seen earlier while OTT perhaps are a pain to deal with and emotions run rampant. Time and place... I just do my best not to judge too harshly. It's also possible maybe just sorta that a TG website is a haven for drama queens with the odd mugger lurking about. Write on but take a breath and step back now and then too, I mean go at it too hard and... well, breaking a nail is a real bitch.

As fer hits and the like, well, I dunno, you just gotta do what you do and hope. I have one little piece, somewhat emotional maybe, that for some reason has got several hundred hits in recent weeks, a few kudos but not one comment, I guess it's all too hard. But it's never all been said and something as simple as thanks is nice, or hey that line... I'm trying to get back into doing just that right now after months semi away, so..

Write on Portia, it is what it is and the why is yours to share or not. Then it's out there and...hey the odd invocation to whoever couldn't hurt eh.

Kristina