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Well we had one against Dan Brown a few years ago, now JK Rowling and her Harry Potter empire are under attack.
I suspect an example of money hungry lawyers exploiting the legal sytem - in this case the Statute of Limitation.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/8522291.stm
As far as I can tell, no one has yet linked Bike to a previously undiscovered copy of 'Velocipedes - a guide for the etiquette for young ladies using said form of transport,' (or How to ride without showing one's bloomers)by Jane Austen's second cousin three times removed (once forcibly), Lancie Headstrong.
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A few jokes about Lawyers
An older gentleman, wearing a suit and tie, carrying a leather briefcase approaches the court house security officer. The officer asks, "Are you a lawyer, sir? The old man says, "Hell no! My parents were married when I was born!"
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As the lawyer slowly came out of the anaesthesia after surgery, he said, "Why are all the blinds drawn, doctor?" "There's a big fire across the street," the doctor replied. "We didn't want you to think the operation had been a failure.
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How was copper wire invented? Two lawyers found a penny
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Kirri
Another Joke
Four surgeons were sitting around a table arguing about who was the easiest to operate on. The first surgeon says "Librarians are easier to operate on because you open then up and their parts are in Alphabetical order". The second one say "Math teachers were easier because you open them up and their parts are numbered". The third surgeon says "Engineers are easier to operate on because they understand when their are parts left over at the end". The fourth one says "I have all of you beat. I think lawyers are easier to operate on. They're heartless, spineless and gutless and their heads and rear ends are interchangeable"
In desperate need of punchlines!
I am going to ask a few questions inspired by this joke, so I need people here think of witty answers. Here goes:
What happens if you put a spine in a lawyer?
What happens if you put guts in a lawyer?
What happens if you put a heart in a lawyer?
And a few others.
How does a mathematitian know his days are numbered? His internal organs begin to stop in a countdown.
How do you make a mess of a librarian? Change the alphabet.
Also, I did not quite understand the engineers' line.
Faraway
Big Closet Top Shelf
Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!
Faraway
Big Closet Top Shelf
Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!
Answer To Your Questions
A human being!
The third surgeon says
>>> The third surgeon says "Engineers are easier to operate on because they understand when their are parts left over at the end".
No, no. That would be a mechanic.
The engineer would redesign his system and issue a change notice to eliminate the left over part from his blueprint and list of materials.
Kris
Kris
{I leave a trail of Kudos as I browse the site. Be careful where you step!}
Call me stupid, but...
I don't get the second or third one. Could someone explain it for clueless me?
Saless
"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America
the fire joke
I didnt get it at first either, Saless. The lawyer would see the fire and think he had died and gone to hell.
The copper penny was fought over and neither lawyer would let go. They stretched it into wire.
(last time I heard this one it wasn't about lawyers but had an unfortunate racist message.)
~~~hugs, Laika
"Government will only recognize 2 genders, male + female,
as assigned at birth-" (In his own words:)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1lugbpMKDU
Thanks
Thanks Laika!
Saless
"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America
Having a sister-in-law (ten in all) who's a lawyer...
...I suppose I should tread lightly?
Q: Why do they bury lawyers 10 feet deep instead of 6 feet deep?
A: Because deep down, they're not all that bad!
Dio benedica la mia bella amici
Love, Andrea Lena
Sad :-(
RAMI
I am hurt to the quick! I am sad;-(! I am devestated :-( ! All of these mean, mean, mean, anti-lawyer jokes on this wonderful site. I protest!! Erin help, please!!!
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Okay, I am over that. I forgive all of you mean people. Have a good night. :-).
RAMI
For any Canadian's out there - Do you really enjoy the "Sport(?)"
of curling.
RAMI
RAMI
You Have To Admit
You have to admit that so many in the legal profession haven't endeared themselves to the public. Look at how screwed up Congress is? They are almost all lawyers. I also don't appreciate being bombarded by TV ads every five minutes wanting people to sue for every thing under the sun. It gets to the point of being ridiculous. I believe that a lawyer who is any good should not have to advertise. I realize that not all lawyers are bad, but there are just enough bad ones around to tarnish the profession as a whole.
Not nearly all
RAMI
I am not sure what percentage you consider all, but the percent of congress people that are lawyers is in the range of 40% for the last few years.
So if you do not want us terrible lawyers to occupy those seats, convince others to run for office. Perhaps the desire for public service is lower in people who work in other areas. (It could also be a power trip).
So it is okay for others to run ads, but lawyers can not. I do not know what state you live in, but in mine, lawyer ads are regulated by our bar.
What examples of "bad" (what does bad mean by the way?) lawyers can you site. How does the number of "bad' lawyers compare to bad electricians, plumber, dentists, etc.
Hopefully, my reply does not start a flame war.
My original comment was done tongue in cheek. Most lawyer jokes do not bother me, and I laugh at them.
RAMI
RAMI
I know a lawyer and a judge
They both know more lawyer jokes than I do and the judge knows the best ones. :)
Law and lawyers have helped make this country great but it's simple to figure out why lawyers are easy to hate; just by the nature of what they do, someone is not going to like them, either their client who didn't get what they wanted or the other guy. In the UK they separate lawyers into two types, solicitors and barristers but it doesn't seem to help their reputation much. :)
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Canadian's and Curling....
... yes ....
PB
When it comes to curling
I never done it, rarely watch it though it looks interesting though, if curling is/was a sport it should be hair curling, time limited etc...it would be a fun and interesting program to watch and pursue
And yes, I live in canada
lol!
With Love and Light, and Smiles so Bright!
Erin Amelia Fletcher
With Love and Light, and Smiles so Bright!
Erin Amelia Fletcher
Doesn't surprise me in the
Doesn't surprise me in the least. It is all about the money, No court case, just want a LARGE settlement to get them "to go away".
Having a daughter who is in her last year of law school; I can say this with a smile on my face. "why won't sharks eat lawyers"? "Professional courtesy". Overall, I respect most attornies, but I have dealt with some real "duds" in my professional career.
Jan
LAWYERS AND CHICKENS
My father, who practiced law for 60 years, really liked this joke. He told it to two lawyers who were friends of his and then had to explain it to them.
Question: what's the difference between a lawyer and an angry chicken?
Answer (in part): The angry chicken clucks defiance!
Tune in tomorrow for the rest of the punch line (if you need it)
Lawyers & Chickens
Good one, but don't give the rest ;)
Curling
I have been watching it during the Olympics and trying to understand what is going on. I guess it is my Scottish heritage that draws me to it. I think that some people might get the idea that Curling involves women getting together to fix each other's hair. I think that may have been my first thought too until I actually saw my first match LOL! I can see it now The TG Olympics! Events include Curling and Drag Racing. This event involves doing the one hundred yard dash in 3 inch heels and a pink feather boa.LOL!
Curling
The only curling I would be interested in is long, toe curling kisses and cuddles