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I have been thinking about why I write and wished to respond to some of the comments made about what I have written, so here goes.
I have written stories because I imagine characters, sometimes myself in situations that I enjoy taking them to and seeing how the character develops, and where the story goes. There is rarely a planned end when the story starts which I know is reflected in how the stories often peater out or get rushed as I loose interest in the ideas.
I do not write for others really, I write for myself and enjoy reading what I have written when I come back to the stories after a certain length of time has past so they are not quite so fresh. I am however happy to post my stories so others who wish to read them can enjoy them if they appeal to their interests. I do not write to please others, if readers want my characters to do something different why not write their own story using my story as a start, I will not object as it will be their story, not mine.
I do apologise for my poor english and spelling, this has always been a problem since I was a small child when I spent many playtimes writing out spelling mistakes a hundred times, only to find that I still got it wrong next time I wrote the words.
If I can use a running analogy, I run but I shall never make the olympics, my strength, my bio mechanical make up is not right, I lack dedication to train that hard, I am too old, but basically I don’t care. I can watch a top athlete and enjoy seeing the race unfold, but I shall never be there. This does not stop me from enjoying my own running though, I can enjoy a hard training session, I can feel the freedom of a mountain run, I can even know the pride of finishing a marathon faster than the time before.
I will never make a great published author, mostly for reasons some people are only to happy to express about my skills, but I still have an imagination, even if others can't understand what I am trying to say, some do and most importantly I do. So I do not really care what others see, I shall write my stories and get my own pleasure and maybe give pleasure to others, and if you don't like them, no one is forcing anyone to read anything I write, I recommend those people look else where for their amusement.
I hope this explains and expresses some of the nature of writing for me.
Thank you for reading, but most all don’t loose your sense of humour and keep smiling.
Lauran
Comments
Writing
Writing for you own pleasure is good thing,because writing should give most pleasure and happines to autors first.They should fell good about what they write. Continue with writing your stories.
It was theraputic
When I was writing, it was more like journaling. I was expressing my grief and anguish at a situation in my life I did not like and did not want. I felt as if I was being dragged off by daemons to the fires of hell. It took me years to realize that what was happening was literally saving my life.
Another aspect of it is that some jews have a thing called Tickun, and the way it was explained to me was literally "shoe on other foot". The theory was that I had done such a poor job as a man, perhaps I could do better as a woman. And, I will emphatically state that living this other life has certainly been educational. Were I to return to life as a man, I would be ever so much more kind to women. Not that I was abusive to women, but I just did not understand cold feet in bed, or open windows in the car screwing my hair up, or turning my sox out the right way, or putting the lid up, or any number of things that I never GOT!
Another aspect of this is really made clear to me when I visit a web site I just found. http://www.viewzone.com/bicam.html
I don't really know if they have much expertise or not but but just the left brain, right brain thing explains so much to me. I find I am totally right brained, to a fault. It makes me wonder if this is a common trait of T folk. Some of this may also relate to my diagnosis of "Borderline Personality Disorder".
Hmmmmm, much to think about.
I've been working on a couple new stories, but in a very different voice than you have seen here. Will I ever publish them? I don't know.
Khadijah Gwen