Yesterday, while out doing retail therapy, on my way home, my car died on me. I managed to coast into a somewhat secluded parking lot, tried re-starting the car...no joy. I went inside a nearby business, called a tow truck, and went back out to wait in the car.
I had the hood up, hoping that, when the truck got there, it'd be something quick and cheap to fix. While waiting, an SUV stopped and the two guys inside it asked if I needed any help. I replied that I was fine, and that there was a tow truck on the way. They then offered me a ride if I needed one, to which I again replied, no...re-iterating that the truck was on the way and I'd get a ride from the driver.
One of the guys got out and approached me, looking at the open hood of my car. I thought he was going to look under the hood to see if he could fix whatever was wrong. To my shock, when he got close enough, he grabbed my arm and tried to force me to get into the SUV.
Well, I guess the guy still in me reacted, because I yanked my arm out of his grip and, when he turned to face me, I kneed him in his groin. When he bent over from the pain, I again kneed him, this time in his damn face! He went down like he'd been shot, and his pal got out of the drivers side of the SUV and started in my direction. I put my foot on the downed jerk's neck and told the other one that if he took one more step, I was going to kill his pal.
He stopped, cursed at me, and got back in his SUV. I lugged the other idiot to the passenger side and shoved him in, and they took off. I wasn't harmed at all, but I was mondo angry and scared at the same time. I was way too worked up to think about license plate numbers until after they were long gone, so I didn't report anything to the police, who weren't called. I did find, after the two would-be attackers left, three teeth where the one guy had fallen.
I haven't reported this incident, partly I think, because I am too shamefaced that I let myself be set up for something like it. Standing outside, next to a disabled vehicle, looking vulnerable. I know I'm very fortunate that neither of them showed a weapon, and my reaction was so quick and decisive. It could have been much, much worse for me.
After I got home, I guess reaction set in and I started shaking, and crying. I called my dear friend, Grover, who listened to me and helped me calm down enough so I could finally think straight again.
I'm only blogging about this to send a warning to everyone out there. NEVER assume that you are totally safe!!! I never, in a million years, thought that something like this could happen to me, but I know now, that I was just as vulnerable as any other female in that same position. A dead car, in a semi-secluded spot, all alone. I've gotten so used to having no trouble through my RLT that I allowed myself to think I WAS safe.
I'm okay, and I don't think there will be any repercussions from this incident, legally or otherwise. They didn't know me, I didn't know them, and I had no descriptions to give to any authorities. I imagine that the one I downed had to go to a hospital, or at least a dentist, but I can't see either of them admitting that a woman beat him up.
I am still a bit shook up, but not overly so. What I AM still, is angry. Angry at myself that I allowed myself to be put into such a situation, and that I didn't think about license numbers or anything else like that. I survived what could have been a very bad encounter for me, and I am grateful for that.
By the way, I wasn't dressed provocatively either. A below the knee jeans skirt, a sleeveless top, and running shoes. Very light makeup, and minimal jewelry. I was dressed for shopping...not hunting.
Please, please, PLEASE...never assume that you are totally safe. I did, but I never will again. Be aware of your surroundings, and the people around you. Keep space between you and anyone you don't know. Above all, don't make yourself look like a victim, but if the worst happens...react quickly and strongly. At that point, there is only ONE consideration, and that is your safety.
It's taken several hours, and a semi-sleepless night, before I could talk or blog about this, except to the aforementioned Grover, and to my sister, who I called sometime after I got home. I'm okay, like I said, but still scared and angry.
IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU!!! IT HAPPENED TO ME!
Huggles 'n love,
Catherine Linda Michel
Comments
Shall we..
Shall we begin the discussion about being armed or is that too political?
Not too political at all.
I carried a .45 much of the time when I had that job. There was never any doubt in my mind that I would know what to do with a predator. Of course, if I had been in THAT situation, I'd be sitting in Jail now.
I try to be only in situations that any life time woman would be in, so if the SUV had pulled up with me there, perhaps I'd have gotten in my car and locked the door; not to second guess anyone at all.
I worked construction most of my life, and a long thin screw driver is the #2 murder weapon in the work place. So, if I get caught in a risky situation, I either carry the .45, or the long screw driver. If I am traveling after a dance, at 2:00 AM, I either Cab it, or I ride my bike; reasoning that I can be past most dangerous people before their neanderthal minds can think of mischeif.
It is hard for us who have transitioned to get into the same mind set that Genetic Women have grown up with. They are extremely cautious and wary in how they conduct themselves.
On the other hand, Cathy, if I had found myself assaulted by that man, you'd be reading my obituary. You aquitted your self admirably. I have never been in a physical confrontation and not gotten beat up. I freeze like a rabbit, or I worry about really hurting someone with my hands. For some reason, the .45 is different. Hopefully it will never misfire. Went to the range yesterday and hit the guy 40 out of 50 times at about 60 feet. When I brought him up to legal kill range, I was absolutely lethal.
Have I ever killed? No. I don't think it would be an issue though. Twice I have faced someone down, but they turned tale and ran before I had to find out. It is not legal to put holes in the back of a predator, no matter how much they deserve it.
M'salama
Khadija
Honey, Don't Beat Yourself Up
Honey, don't beat yourself up over this. You are feeling what every other woman has felt in that situation. You actually did prove that you are definitely a woman by the way you reacted. Kneeing that S.O.B in the groin was the natural reaction of any woman. I agree with you about being more aware of your surroundings. That goes for women everywhere. I feel the anger along with you. Maybe that jerk will think twice about doing it to someone else. I can only imagine how he will explain his injuries. I seriously doubt that he wants to admit to being beat up by a girl. If you did any real damage to his family jewels then someone will figure out that he wasn't beaten up by a guy. I guess his partner will have to keep his mouth shut too. Look on the bright side. You might have done the human race a real favor if you took him out of the Gene Pool. I certainly hope so! Talk to a counselor if you need to.
Hugs,
Jen
There's a Reason Concealed Carry is So Popular
I also had a breakdown on a country road and found myself relying on the kindness of strangers. Fortunately, I have concealed carry, so I was able to be patient and confident.
And in case you might be wondering, when applying for my concealed carry and submitting my personal information for the state police background check, I submitted all my past history. Here in Virginia, there wasn't a single hick-up.
Nancy Cole
P.S. One thing you need to remember if you do apply for concealed carry. You need to be willing to follow through if and when the situation calls for it. I know, I know, some of you are saying 'That's terrible,' or 'violence never solves anything.' If that's you default position, please go back and re-read the blog entry. As the old song says, "I'd rather be a hammer than a nail.'
"You may be what you resolve to be."
T.J. Jackson
Glad you are safe.
RAMI
I glad that you came out of this safely, that is the most important thing. In a dangerous situation you acted intelligently.
Being aware of where one is is important for all people, men and women alike. While women are more vulnerable, the creeps of the world, will attack a male if they think he might be an easy target. It was two against one.
Because of the injuries you inflicted on the scum bucket, you should reconsider reporting the incident to the police. Three missing teeth are unusual, and if the bum was seeking treatment he would have to give some explanation to the dental/medical provider. The police could put out the proper bulletins to hospitals and dentists in the area. Since I am not in your shoes, I will not claim I understand what you went through or fully comprehend your fear in reliving this and going to the police, but perhaps doing so might save someone, from a similar attack by these guys. Your infliction of damage, might not be enough of a deterrent to stop them from acting again.
RAMI
RAMI
Right back at ya!
Huggles and love, Cat! You need them!!!
Faraway
Faraway
Big Closet Top Shelf
Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!
I've often thought about
I've often thought about stuff like that happening to me. What can I say, I'm paranoid! ;) I've thought someone was following me on multiple occasions, though I don't think in retrospect they were. I tend to encourage those paranoid tendencies (within reason), for safety's sake. I also think it's a good idea to be aware of your surroundings, that was one of the things the instructor really harped on in the self-defense class I took a few years ago.
Things like this make me want to carry a weapon around with me but knives require getting too close, swords are too conspicuous (and possibly illegal?), and guns are too dangerous. I could use a bow, though, I know how to shoot those... ;)
You handled that situation a lot better than I think I could have, I'm a bit of a wimp! I'm glad you're alright.
Saless
"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America
Carrying a weapon is not the answer.
Being aware of your surroundings and not GETTING yourself into those situations, is. Besides, unless you ALWAYS carry a weapon, the question becomes, "Can you GET to the weapon in time?"
Cathy
As a T-woman, I do have a Y chromosome... it's just in cursive, pink script.
True. Then there's the
True. Then there's the problem of hitting what you aim at, and nothing else. That's a problem the police have to worry about all the time; is there someone on the other side of the person I'm shooting at? And even a practice arrow could go right through someone and on into someone else. I was mostly joking about the weapon thing. Besides, having a weapon can give you a false sense of security, allowing you to get yourself into a situation you wouldn't normally where you're outnumbered and the weapon is no longer as effective.
You're absolutely right, Cathy, not getting into the situation in the first place is the best way to go!
Saless
"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America
Double Tap
As I said in my previous post, you have to be willing and able to follow through with your threat to use deadly force to protect yourself. Though I am far better with a rifle, in a pinch I can put two rounds, center of mass into a half sized target, (or anything else for that matter), at 25 meters without a problem.
The only thing I don't much care for in regards to a concealed carry is the weight of my 9mm and the eleven round mag. It makes my purse heavy when I'm out shopping for cute tops and shoes.
Nancy Cole
"How can you kill women and children?"
"Easy. You just don't lead them as much."
From 'Full Metal Jacket'
"You may be what you resolve to be."
T.J. Jackson
I was lucky
Both times, I knew it was coming.
The first time, I had this very strong feeling and it got stronger the closer we got. The man jumped at us over a concrete wall, but before then the alarm bells were about to make me deaf. I had my hand in my pocket on the pistol with the safety off. I had to do was pull it out, chamber it, and point. My X had no idea I was even carrying it. For the non religious, lets just say that based upon the available data, the statistical probabilities stacked up to the height of low earth orbit.
The second time, I was being sexually assaulted by a woman who I had given shelter to. She was on drugs and went to get more. I had a surprise for her when she came back. The Police cuffed me but later took her to jail. She'd just gotten out from a 7 year hitch on a drug offense.
You dun good girl!
Khadija
Actually...
You could carry a sword around if you wanted, you just need a license for it (just like a gun). Oh and you *must* carry the license around with you wherever you take the sword. I've actually seen people do it. Mind you that's the law where *I* live (Ontario). It could easily be different elsewhere.
I suspect it might be legal
I suspect it might be legal here (California), too, but I'm not sure. I remember someone (A policeman, I think) saying that a knife of less than six inches could be carried in a pocket or purse, but that anything longer had to be in a sheath and clearly visible. Maybe that applies to swords, too, I don't know.
Saless
"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America
CA and swords
Yes, it is legal to carry a sword in most places in CA, if it's obvious you are carrying it, or it used to be. I was an SCA herald in the 70s and we had judges and lawyers in the group that researched the relevant statutes and made them known to everyone. I don't think you can carry one into a commercial establishment where the principal business is the retail sale of liquor by the drink. There are some other restrictions, too.
One of those lawyers (a county assistant D.A.) once stopped the holdup of a convenience store. He was on his way to an event and discovered the robbery in progress. After determining there were no guns involved, he pulled the sword from the back of his car and shouted something like, "Begone, varlets." And they be went.
Or maybe it was the arrow his passenger put into the ice machine that persuaded them. At sixty feet even a blunt shaft, minus the soft plastic safety-tip, will go through sheetmetal-covered foam.
They told that story for years and I have no idea of just how true it is but I did go to the convenience store and see the neat arrow-sized hole in the door of the ice machine. :)
Cathy, I am so glad you are okay.
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Carrying weapons
concealed or otherwise, would get you into more trouble with UK law and order, than the attempted abductors.
Angharad
Angharad
For people on low income
There is https://www.safelinkwireless.com/EnrollmentPublic/home.aspx
I don't know if it is available in all the states or not, but it is a 100% FREE cell phone for people on limited means or who receive government aid. I have one and receive 42 minutes a month and the minutes rollover. Anyone who can't afford a cell phone should look into this as it can be a lifesaver if you are in a bad situation. You can also buy additional minutes if you choose but never need to if you don't want to.
Glad Catherine's situation turned out okay!
Hugs
Frank
Wow
I'm glad your okay Cathy. Maybe those idots will think twice the next time they try something stupid.
Jessica Marie.
Please, everyone!
This blog isn't about carrying weapons of how to use them or how good anyone is doing that. It's about keeping yourself OUT of situations that might need the use of weapons!
I don't want this warning to devolve into a discussion about the best way to kill an attacker, Please!
I appreciate all your responses, but the warning is the important thing here. Let's please stay on that track? Thank you.
Cathy
As a T-woman, I do have a Y chromosome... it's just in cursive, pink script.
Wish I was a fly on the windshield
Not to make light of the situation..I am glad you are safe, Cathy, HOWEVER, I would have loooooved to see the look on those @$#%holes' faces when you pounded the snot out of his buddy! You can certainly bet they'll think twice before trying that with another woman.
All I could see in my mind's eye was two goons trying to pick on a lady they thought to be vulnerable only to have the tazmanian devil go to town on 'em. LOL GOOD JOB CATHY!!!
Love ya,
Paula Y.
Paula Young
A life lived in fear is a life half-lived
So glad
to read that you are safe Cathy but for your alertness the outcome could have been so different, And while i abhor violence sometimes attack is the best form of defence!
Hugs Kirri
Hugs
Maybe you should have a squadron of fighter planes on standby.
But seriously I'm glad you're physically ok (I'm guessing it'll take a while for the emotions to level out).
I've had a couple of car issues recently and never even considered my surroundings for a second. Luckily both times I was in a reasonably public place but that truly was luck not planning. Something to bear in mind for the future.
Hugs
Cat
-
You can't choose your relatives but you can choose your family.
Safety
I'm also glad you are ok Cathy, and you to Cat!
Knowing your surroundings and keeping yourself safe are always good things.
I will admit to keeping myself suitably armed from time to time, but that is not the best option ever. But sometimes, it just helps me feel safe.
Here's to everyone staying safe always.
-HuGgLeS-
-P/KAF/PT
My 2 farthings worth.
One time my alternator blew out on the highway. I did not know it was the alternator until I stopped and cooled it down with an extinguisher just to be on the safe side.
I made sure I stayed on the shoulder and made sure people could see me. Plus I had a hand-held walkie talkie (CB) with me. I suggest you can substitute a cell phone in this situation but this was a while back and I did not want the expense. It doesn't matter whether you are actually in contact with anybody - just give the impression you are.
Anyway, when the inevitable car with 4 guys stopped and offered me a lift, I declined and showed them my CB, indicating I am already getting assistance, and they left.
Anyway, by the time a state trooper stopped to give me help by getting a tow truck for me, two more vehicles had stopped to offer assistance.
The point of all this: ... Getting into a SECLUDED parking lot is a mistake. The best protection for a woman in this situation is visibility ... even if it means blocking the road if necessary. Never accept a ride. I am only a 110 pound woman and there is no way I can fight off most guys so I am more cautious then most. Finally, keep your car in good repair and don't try to 'stretch' the life of a car too long as break downs may leave you in an untenable position.
Kim
Here's Why You Need To Report This
Cathy, I know it's going to be nine dozen ways unpleasant, but I think you have to report this to the police.
Here's why: Do you SERIOUSLY believe you're the first one they ever did this to? They may have abducted other women before. In fact, from the way you describe the incident, it seems they were following a recipe they had used several times already.
Not for yourself, but for other women, either ones these two vultures have preyed on before, or ones they'll try again in the future, after they get over the shock of this little setback you handed them.
By the way, Good On Ya! for the way you handled things. Your adrenaline did just what it was supposed to do, get you out of trouble and then leave you shaking like a leaf afterwards. Hey, it's better than the alternative!
Here's another thought to leave you with. If they had abducted you, and tried to rape you, you'd be dead now. Even if these guys had never killed one of their victims before, you can bet they'd make an exception for you. No one would even know where your body was.
Report this. These are really bad men, and your paltry clues might just help the police solve some other case from the recent or not-so-recent past. By the way, teeth have DNA.
A word of warning!
Guns, Knives, swords, is not the answer, who ever tries to attack you will have all of the above most of the time!
I believe the best defence is to have at least one other person or more with you at all times, preferably more?
Keep your vehicle maintained so it doesn't let you down!
Unless you can effectively use a gun and want to, and are skilled in it's use, you will find it used against you in a blink of the eye!
Why give someone the gun to shoot you with??
Rule no.1 dont go out by yourself, the more the better & look out for each other
LoL
Rita
Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!
(Mark Twain)
LoL
Rita
Krav Maga and women's self defense
Weapons are the answer. Situational awareness is the answer. Simply being street smart is the answer. These are all pieces of the puzzle.
The advice to always have someone with you, to avoid secluded places, and to dress for fight and flight are all obvious AND useless. Life gets in the way. Should you not go grocery shopping alone? You won't always have someone with you. What if you need to go somewhere in a bad part of town? What if your car breaks down? Being in dangerous places is sometimes beyond our control. And what if you're either going to or coming from a fancy dress and are wearing heels and a gown that get in the way? Should you always avoid fancy dress?
I highly recommend Krav Maga for everyone here, especially if it's a women's Krav Maga course. It's hands-on and practical, focusing on slight modifications to your body's natural reflexes to flatten the learning curve to get you to 80% proficiency as quickly as possible. (Surviving 80% of encounters without harm.) Women's Krav Maga focuses on situational awareness, especially in how to detect grooming. Grooming is the way in which predators, both strangers and acquaintances, habituate you to their presence to keep from triggering your alarms. It also has a huge focus on real world drills: what to do in a car, what to do in an alley, what to do if you're in an evening gown and have reduced mobility. There's a lot on grappling and holds, which is essential for women since attackers seek to gain control over us. Finally, there's a lot of attention paid to disarming knives, which is the favorite weapon of sexual predators.
Krav Maga also has a great set of core assumptions: Always assume your attacker is better than you. Always assume he is not alone, even if you don't see anyone else. Always assume he's armed even if you don't see a weapon. Because of these three assumptions, the focus is to get away, not to "win" or inflict punishment.
I practice Yang style Tai Chi. It's billed as the ultimate martial art, and with 25 years you will win every fight against every other martial discipline. The learning curve is insane, though; anything less than 10 years and you're useless in a fight. Krav Maga got me to 80% in less than 4 weeks. Granted, I had prior martial arts training, but still. I highly recommend it.