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Well. Tomorrow, the 15th of April, tax deadline day, is my 62nd Birthday. I'm of a couple of minds about this 'event'.
First, I never thought I'd live this long. I will now be drawing on my Social Security Benefits, for GOD'S sake!
In the last year, I have begun and almost completed my 1 year Real Life Test, published a book, done interviews on TV and Radio (local only) lost my Mother, my cat, my relationship with my family, a budding relationship with a wonderful woman that just didn't work out like I wanted, and it seems, some of my mind.
I've tried to be a decent person, maybe more so in the last year than in my whole life prior to it. I've tried to help wherever, whenever, and however I could, but I've still alienated some people I think the world of, and lost the one person I wanted, more than anything else, ever. It almost seems as though I have a reverse "Midas Touch."
I've been diagnosed as clinically depressed, yet I feel relatively okay...most of the time.
Tomorrow should be a happy day for me, surrounded by friends and family, and the one I love. Instead, I have to go to work, my family doesn't want to see me, my friends will be at work, and the one I love...doesn't love me. It's not her fault. I wanted more than she was able to give, and we simply weren't right for one another. It's not my friends fault. They have to work to keep food on their tables, roofs over their heads, and keep the bills paid. My family...I have no excuse for them except their closed-mindedness.
All in all, a very confusing, disappointing, troubling time in my life. What the hell is wrong with me?
My friends out there in cyberland...I thank you for all your past kindnesses, your help, your encouragement and your friendship. It's more than I deserve.
I'm not going to do anything dumb, or crazy, have no worries about that. I'm just very confused in my feelings right now.
Well, thanks for hearing(reading) my confused little mini-rant. I wish you all, joy and love.
Catherine Linda Michel
Comments
Everyone DESERVES friendship when they offer it in return!
Hey Cathy,
I had a birthday when my own mom and dad didn't wish me B-day greetings and though I was in my twenties at the time I was still living with my parents. They had had a celebration planned for at the cottage on the weekend and had other things on their minds on the day. People do have slips of memory. Friends who care are the ones to place your attention on. The rest are acquaintences at best.
I wish for you that each day might bring you a blessing of some sort, that you might anticipate each new day with wonder and excitement. Blessings be upon you tomorrow and every day of your life.
with love,
Hope
with love,
Hope
Once in a while I bare my soul, more often my soles bear me.
Thanks
and happy birthday to you. Hip hip.
It's a funny thing, life. Breathtakingly drab and somber at one time, wonderfully beautiful and invigorating the other.
I hope you have a wonderful day, tomorrow, and the day after that, and than, and than. :)
Truly, I do.
Maybe, while I imagine myself that you're having a heck of day, I'll have one too. Or in part, at least. And maybe that goes the other way around... I'll do my best ;)
Jo-Anne
Happy Birthday Cathy
Cathy, I wish I could wave a magic wand and give you the perfect birthday and the perfect life. Unfortunatly I pissed of the wand maker and he won't talk to me any more. Lord knows that if I had a magic wand I would have used it on my self by now.
Cathy I want you to remember all those things in the blog above that you acomplished this year. Dispite all your trials and hardships you achieved all that. You are doing well with your RLT. I wish I was so lucky, and half as curagious.
When you think about all that you have endured, please remember all that you have achieved.
You'll be okay Cathy. Things will work out in time.
Happy Birthday.
Love ya
Jessica Marie
P.S. Your my insiration. Thank you.
Happy Birthday!
Hugs!
Scott
I cried for me.
I cried for a world that wouldn’t let her be.
-- from Luna by Julie Anne Peters
Bree
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
-- Tom Clancy
http://genomorph.tglibrary.com/ (Currently broken)
http://bree-ramsey314.livejournal.com/
Twitter: @genomorph
Yer shur Cary'd me tru sumat tuffin's
And if you had not been around then, well, I'd not be writing this. Humans are not evolution's shining triumph in my opinion. We are much flawed, weak and sometimes quite shameful, actually.
I've hurt much about the loss of my family, and recently came to the conclusion that I am ashamed of them; though some of their conduct is what I taught them during the height of my denial. I wonder if some of them will wake up; regretting what they have done?
Same for your family, and hopefully in time there will be sufficient public education that we stop acting less than human toward each other other. You are not alone in your suffering and I certainly feel for you. I hope that things begin to feel better to you in time.
Many Blessings and Happy Birthday.
Gwendolyn
Need you ask?
Happy Birthday Cathy! Sometimes we get dealt some strange and perplexing hands but I have faith you'll work it out.
Big Birthday Huggles!
grover and Paula!
Happy Birthday to You!
Many happy returns!
Happy Birthday Cathy!
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
...
lyrics courtesy and copyrighted by Natasha Bedingfield - Unwritten
BigCloset TopShelf
Happy Birthday
Catherine
There is nothing wrong with you, it is the others that have something wrong if they can't see that the real you is the same person that you have always been.
Hugs, Fran
Hugs, Fran
Remain open
to the prospect of better things, but keep true to yourself - things will change, it's the only certainty in life. Oh, and happy birthday.
Angharad
Angharad
Happy Birthday
Whatever else happens, I hope you at least have a happy birthday.
Hug
- Terry
Happy Birthday !!!!
Congratulations on another successful year.
When life throws tomatoes at you, make spaghetti sauce.
When life throws tomatoes at you, make spaghetti sauce.
Hi Cathy Hope you have a
Hi Cathy
Hope you have a great birthday, Looking on your comment page i can see you have a lot of friends here on Bigcloset! and we all wish you the very best for next year and please please keep smiling.
Hugs Kirri
Happy b-day Cathy :-)
Happy b-day Cathy :-)
I'm sure that the universe has some built-up good karma in store for you ~_^ Keep going, to 102!
-Christelle
"Fun-loving geek-chick looking for someone who doesn't give a damn about her past"
-Christelle
"Fun-loving geek-chick who's addicted to sunlight!"
May your day be better than you expect...
Happy Birthday. They seem to continue to happen. I had my latest a short while ago (I have it on good authority that I'm 38 yet again... Had a lot of practice turning 38.) They're milestones, but are they the milestones we normally want to count? Seems to me, counting our friends and blessings are far more important. When they combine, that is nice.
Best wishes to you,
Annette
BIRTHDAY HUGS!!
I think Erin & Sephy might excuse me for SHOUTING that...
~~~love, Laika
"Government will only recognize 2 genders, male + female,
as assigned at birth-" (In his own words:)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1lugbpMKDU
Happy Birthday, Cathy
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Thank you all, so very much.
Your kind wishes have made my day a bit easier, and helped me see that I am not alone...not completely. I've yet to see or hear from one special person, but I kind of expected that she might not want to post publicly. I'll hope for a phone call tonight.
Once again, Thanks to all of you. I hope your Birthdays garner as much support as you all have shown me today.
Hugs 'n love,
Catherine Linda Michel
As a T-woman, I do have a Y chromosome... it's just in cursive, pink script.
Hope you've had a great Birthday
Mine started out with my first real sign that spring is finally here: I was able to make coffee this morning ( at 5:30 ) for the first time this year, without turning on the kitchen light. Hope your day was as bright and warm.
Jamie
Tax Day...
...keeps being my birthday every year too! Happy (now belated) Birthday! :-)
-Liz
Successor to the LToC
Formerly known as "momonoimoto"