This is from Everybody's Scrapbook of Curious Facts, compiled by one Don Lemon and published well over 100 years ago. The author is unknown and the story line alas is not beyond criticism although it could be read as an early manifestation of feminism!

I came across it in a newspaper article by a Robert Richardson many years ago. He remarked that it may lack Maupassant's humanity and Maugham's style, but it is a story in a class of its own.

I think it is quite remarkable and should be known to a wider audience. Judge for yourself. I was reminded of it on reading the alliteration in Jezzi's sparkling 'Bimbo Bread'

Winnie and Walter.

“ Warm weather, Walter! Welcome warm weather! We were wishing winter would wane weren't we?”

“ We were well wearied with waiting,” whispered Walter wearily. Wan, white woe-begone was Walter, wayward, wilful, worn with weakness, wasted, waxing weaker whenever winter's wild, withering winds were wailing. Wholly without waywardness was Winifred, Walter's wise, womanly watcher, who, with winsome, wooing way was well-beloved.

“ We won't wait Walter; while weather's warm we'll wander where woodlands wave, won't we?”

Walter's wanton wretchedness wholly waned. “ Why, Winnie we'll walk where we went when we were with Willie; we'll weave wildflower wreaths, watch woodmen working, woodlice, worms wriggling, windmills whirling, watermills wheeling; we will win wild whortleberries, witness wheat winnowed.”

Wisbeach woods were wild with wild flowers, westerly winds whispered where willows where waving; woodpigeons, wrens, woodpeckers were warbling wild woodnotes, Where Wisbeach water-mill's waters, which were wholly waveless, widened, were water-lilies waxen white. Winifred wove wreaths with woodbine, whitehorn, wallflowers whilst Walter whittled wooden wedges with willow wands.

Wholly without warning, wild wet winds woke within Wisbeach woods, whistling where Winnie wandered with Walter; weeping willows were wailing weirdly; waging war with wind-tossed waters. Winifred's wary watchfulness waked.

“ Walter we won't wait”

“ Which way Winnie?”

Winifred wavered. “ Why where were we wandering? Wisbeach woods widen whichever way we walk; where's Wisbeach white wicket; where's Winston's water-mill?”

Wistfully Walter witnessed Winifred's wonder. “ Winnie, Winnie we were wrong, wholly wrong, wandering within wild ways. Wayfaring weather-beaten waifs, well-nigh worn-out.”

Winifred waited where, within wattled woodwork walls, waggons, wheelbarrows, wains were waiting, weighty with withered wood. Walter warmly wrapped with Winifred's well-worn wadded waterproof, was wailing woefully, wholly wearied. Winnie, who worn with watching, well-nigh weeping, was wistfully wakefully waiting, wholly wished Walter's well-being warranted.

With well-timed wisdom, Walter was wound with wide worsted wrappers, which wonderfully well withstood winter's withering whistling winds. Wholly without warm wrappers was Winifred, who. with womanly wisdom, was watching Walter's welfare, warding Walter's weakness.

“ When will Willie wend were we wait?” wearily wondered Walter.

“ Whist, Walter,” whispered Winnie, “ who was whooping?”

“ Whereabouts?”

Welcome whistling was waking Wisbeach woods when winter's windy warfare waxed weaker.

“ Winnie! Walter!”

Winnie's wakefulness was well grounded. “ We're well Willie; we're where Winston's waggons wait.

Without waiting Willie was within Winston's woodwork walls.

“ Welcome, welcome, Willie. “ Winnie was weeping with weariness with watching Walter, weak with wayfaring.

“ Why Winnie! Wise watchful warm-hearted Winnie.” Willie whispered wheedlingly. “ We won't weep, Walter's well. What were Walter without Winnie?”

Wholly wonderful was Winifred's well-timed womanly wisdom, which well warranted weakly Walter's welfare. Whenever wandering within Wisbeach woods with Winnie, Walter would whisper “ What were Walter without Winnie? Wise, watchful, warmhearted Winnie.”