As I begin my 7th month in RLT, I thought I'd pause and reflect on the past 6 months.

I don't know if anyone was ever so frightened as I was, when I started down this path, and yet I feel certain that many have felt the same fears. Can I do this? Do I present feminine enough? Am I going to get beat up? Will I be humiliated? Will my friends really stand by me? I questioned my motives, I examined my alternatives, and came to the realization that this was what I HAD to do.

So...could I do this? Yes!

Do I present feminine enough? I don't know, but it no longer concerns me.

Will I get beat up? It hasn't happened yet, and as long as I stay reasonably within safe guidelines, it won't.

Will I get humiliated? Again, it hasn't happened yet.

Will my Friends really stand by me? Unquestionably, YES! My friends and co-workers have stood up, to a person, and supported and helped me adjust.

I owe so much, to so many, in this slow trek toward femininity that it would be impossible to list them here. Suffice it to say that there have been NO untoward incidents and, from friends, to co-workers, to sales people, to casual meetings of strangers in the course of the day, everyone seems to follow the simple tenet of: If I mind my own business, they are perfectly willing to mind theirs.

I have found that, for the most part, people are much too wrapped up in their own lives and errands, to bother with me just trying to fit in and be unnoticed. I enter each place with a smile on my face. I don't avoid eye contact, but I don't seek it either. I deal with people on a one to one basis, never judging and always friendly. If I feel the least bit threatened, I simply continue on my way, never acknowledging what I sense, but aware of a possible threat.

I know I've been "read", but it's never brought me into a situation of conflict. Maybe because I simply refuse to allow myself to lose my temper, or escalate a situation. In this case, discretion IS much the better part of valor.

Had I known that things would go as smoothly as they have gone, I would have done this a long time ago, probably to my benefit. Trying to cover up the ravages of 61 years of weathering on my face, is a trying, and often fruitless, task. Nonetheless, I now know that this IS the right course for me. I have never felt more at ease, more sure of myself, or happier than I have in the last 6 months.

I have gained new friends who only know me as Cathy, I have retained old friends, I have not only kept my job, but actually gained the respect of my co-workers for my alleged courage, and I have found the love of my life. All in just 6 months. I can only imagine what the next 6 months will bring, let alone the rest of my life. What I DO know is that now, for the first time in my life, I am looking forward to the rest of my life. before, I dreaded it. Now, with a new improved me, with the respect and support of my friends and co-workers, with the love and support of my online family, YOU, and a new love, Ariel, I have many, many reasons to live, and I intend to live every day to the fullest.

To you, my online family, I send out my profound thanks and appreciation for all of the support, understanding, comfort and compassion, that you have showed me. It's a debt I'll never be able to repay, except by passing it forward, which I will do to the best of my ability.

To my new love, I pledge my heart and my life, for as long as I live.

I am, and will always be,
Catherine Linda Michel, thanks to all of you.