Well, I emailed my coming out letter to my mother's email address, I heard back from my mother and her initial response was pretty hostile and well not exactly ideal. She actually called me back a short time later and apologized, which shocked the hell out of me.
I had intended to tell my father after he got home from work... well... right about now, but I think I'm going to wait. My mothers turnabout seems very encouraging and I think I may be able to turn her into an ally. That'll make coming out to my father much easier. He's a Pro-trump conservative and very transphobic.
I do appreciate those who wished me well. Have a delightfully deliciously evening,
Comments
Father
All I can do is wince.
It is amazing how radicalized those people are.
I have a house nearby that, still, now that the election is over, the fence on the house still has a big ol' Trump sign on the very top of it, a Trump flag on the flagpole and the Trump sign has its own lighting floodlights.
OMG
All I can say is that your bravery humbles me.
Not all
Not all Trump supporters are the way they are portrayed in the media or fit the generalization that seems to be used to describe them. I have many pro Trump friends that know and support the fact that I am trans and have been for over 20 years. I feel it is wrong to lump them together like that when WE dont like to be treated as a single lump that is seen as bad by some. I even know some pro Biden supporters that dont like me because I am Trans. So please treat them the same way you would like to be treated, and follow the golden rule. Treat others like you would like to be treated, give them the benefit of the doubt, PLEASE. I dont mean to offend any by this post but GENERALIZATIONS are bad for both sides, they keep us apart and dont allow us to come together as a country.
Charlotte
opinor ergo sum
Charlotte Van Goethem
I agree in theory........
I am a Republican, and have been for over four decades. I am NOT a Trump supporter, and never have been. I voted against him in two elections now, not just one. He does not epitomize the party that I joined - nor does much of the current party leaderships or many of the party hacks most prevalent in the news. The only reason I have not changed my party affiliation to date is my fervent hope that by working from within the party I can help to get it back to it’s true roots of small government and fiscal responsibility - from which it has strayed ridiculously.
The reason I mention that is that I know what it is like to be painted by many liberals with the broad brush of stereotyping. Just because I am a Republican does not mean that I believe much of what the party has espoused recently - and next to nothing that comes out of the Orange Asshole’s mouth. I am extremely liberal socially, but I am a fiscal conservative. I believe Thomas Jefferson put it best when he said that one man’s rights end when they infringe on another’s. In other words, everyone is entitled to their own route to hell - as long as they don’t take anyone else with them.
But, having said that, I have NEVER met a Trump supporter within the last several years who was either a reasonable person, or willing to admit that I, as a transgender woman, had the right to exist.
D. Eden
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus
I agree with you Charlotte
I'm a Trump supporter. I classify myself as a far right wing Republican. I'm so far right wing that moderates a so liberal that I can't understand their thinking.
I don't have a Trump sign or flag, but that doesn't mean that I'm not more than a bit radical, (fervent) in my political views. Yet, I'm trans. It's possible to be politically conservative and socially liberal.
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
Ich bin eine Mann
I should have never
I should have never mentioned that man. I generally try to avoid mentioning politics here, but my nerves were raw and I was feeling very exposed last night. Forgive me. I make no secret of my political views for anyone who follows me on twitter.
I was merely trying to illustrate what sort of odds I'm up against with my father. I'm not saying all of his supporters are anti-trans but certainly in the case of my father, it is true. I have heard him say some rather distasteful things.
Have delightfully devious day,
You Can't Pick Your Family
But you can pick your friends...or they can pick you. You will get lots of support here.
An award for bravery is due to you for coming out to your family, whatever the result. It's more than I could ever do.
Arduous
A very long day fraught with frustration, but with a glimmer of hope. It's painful enough to deal with the broad rejection by strangers and such, but it hurts that the ones on should treasure you most might not.
I have the same daunting task in front of me. My plans, tentative as ever, are to come out to my son and daughter-in-law by was of introducing them to my write, with the hope of telling the this summer. I know they love me, and in some way they might see their way to accept this part of me, if not come to appreciate Andrea.
My hope for both you and me is that we would be loved for who we have always been.
Love, Andrea Lena
Thank you Andrea, I do hope
Thank you Andrea, I do hope they come to accept you. It is difficult not knowing who will, but if we as a community uphold and support each other, I think it makes our burdens a little lighter.
Move love and hugs!
Have delightfully devious day,
Coming out
The first family member I came out to, some time back in the Cretaceous, was my late brother. His response was that he had always known. He was the one who broke it to my mother, whose initial response was "Couldn't you have waited until I was dead?"
She did make one effort after a few years, which needs putting into perspective. Her normal conversations with me had always been "Well, -deadname[, what it is [deadname] is that I need to go down the shops [deadname]..." and so on. She made what was clearly a conscious effort to avoid using my deadname, or any name, and that was a huge step for her. I never got a 'daughter' birthday or Christmas card. but I stopped getting ;son; ones.
I still got niggle from older family members at both their funerals, but with my transition being so long ago, I could deal with it. I am listed on all the legal probate documents as "sister" and "daughter", so they can swivel. Watch that first step, though: it's a big one. If you have read my ("Cyclist") work, you may remember my comparison of coming out to swimming in the sea: you really want to get in, but the water's cold, and then you take that dive and suddenly everything is a delight.
Good luck.
Thank you and though I know I
Thank you and though I know I have a uphill battle ahead of me I feel as if some weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I know I face a lot of push back from my father's side. I have an aunt who believes gay people are pedophiles I shudder to think what she'll think of me.
Have delightfully devious day,
Good to hear
Good to hear your mother might become an ally. You deserve to have a family that supports you, and this is the first step in that direction.
Hopefully
She's still got a way to go, but hopefully she'll come around. :)
Have delightfully devious day,
Taken that first big step
And it's really big. Well done. You already know "what's the worst that could happen" next, which I hope will prepare you for that or one of the many better outcomes above it. Take heart.
Writing this on Tuesday, events may have moved on, please share here when they do.
Teri Ann
"Reach for the sun."
Yeah
Thanks
Yeah, not a lot to update right now. She's still trying to grapple with it, and she really does not understand. She has at least told me she would never disown me which is something.
Have delightfully devious day,