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There once was a fellow named Lance,
Who could not find a date to a dance,
So he put on a dress,
Strapped some boobs to his chest,
And went with a buddy named Chance.
Melanie E.
Yeah its lame, but I was bored. Got a better one?
Comments
What about?
A quick, off the cuff, alternative ;
There was a young fellow called Lance,
Whom all the girls looked at askance,
The butt of cruel jest,
Were the boobs on his chest,
And God knows what he had in his pants.
Or the Arthurian version...
A upstanding knight named Lancelot,
Discovered he liked to dance (a lot).
Found while attending a ball in France,
That he looked better in gowns than in pants,
So he became Guinivere of Camelot!
and the continuation...
Our faux lady monarch will fondly recall,
How Arthur was quickly drawn into her thrall.
While there seeking Knight Lance,
Asked "her" for the next dance,
Then forgot him and quick-wed in Gaul!
Limeresque
A cute guy from just down the block,
had proposed and then went into shock.
He got thrown for a whirl,
when he learned that his girl,
had been hiding a rather large trust fund.
Switch and bait or is that bait and switch?
Jennifer,
that was ... funny.
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
John (in W) might appreciate…
Here's one you might like, John, that my Mum told me when I was a teenager.
There was a Carthusian monk,
Who went to sleep in his bunk
And dreamed that fair Venus
Came and tickled his… toes
And he woke up all covered in… perspiration.
Hugs
Gabi
Gabi.
THAT
is the best rhyme EVER.
Doin, great, Fleurie yours was better than mine by far, Edeyn love the twin poems, keep 'em comin'!
Melanie E.
A young girl who was quite big around,
Found her clothes thrown about on the ground,
What a sight to behold,
Was her ninety year old,
Grandpa Wilbur dressed up in her gown!
Badger, Badger, Badger
There once was a gaoler named Locke
And a watchman who was called Tock.
But no poet in time
E'er made-up a rhyme
Like the one by our Jenny Brock.
- Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
My grandfather's *from* Limerick
A young lad from the town of Bugtussel
Found his grandmother's gown (with a bustle)
It was tight, but he forced it:
Squeezed into a corset,
And slipped in with nary a rustle.
o.O Really?!?
So was mine! He immigrated at 12 with his parents to the U.S. (1931).
... and there's a town in Kentucky named Bugtussle in Kentucky (right on the KY/TN border, straight south of Louisville) where I have relatives... and so did the Beverly Hillbillies.
So maybe we're related
Mine emigrated when he was older...
But Bugtussle, on the other hand, is only a name to me.
An emigrant lad from Old Eire
Had a glorious full head of hair
"Are you boy? Are you girl?"
He was quizzed for his curls...
... and his kilt! which was hemmed up to *there*!
Whoa Nelly!
Canny auld Roy loved the gels
And took them to his place in the Dells
One gel 'neath her kirtle
Was Martin, not Myrtle
Said Roy, "Ye've ane and twa like my Nell's!"
- Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Kaleigh, possibly you might like these
The smuggler was tall and well-built,
And he smiled and he spoke with a lilt,
’Cause the customs could not tell
That he had two bottles
Of fine old malt Scotch ’neath his kilt!
Or this one
There was a young lady of Tottenham,
Her manners she'd wholly forgotten ’em
While at tea at the Vicar’s
She tore off her knickers,
Because she said, "I felt hot in ’em!
Hugs,
Gabi.
Lots more where those came from!
Gabi.
Can't Resist Adding THIS One!!!
A "Burley-Q" dancer, a pip,
Named Virginia, could peel in a zip,
But she read science fiction,
And died of constriction,
Attempting a Mobius Strip!
I learned that one from a math teacher more than 45 years ago. Amazing what clogs up the old brain after all that time
Recycled limericks
I wrote these a few months back for my own amusement, out of sheer boredom. For some reason it didn't occur to me to post them here at the time. Better late than never? You be the judge....
A Nantucketer said to his wife,
"I'm sick of it. All of my life
"Every lim'rick I hear
"About people from here
"With sexual content is rife."
His wife replied, "I know. What's worse
"Is that though you know chapter and verse,
"Not once since our wedding
"When we've been a-bedding
"Have you done so much as rehearse."
(I've always wanted to write one about Nantucket that didn't use the obvious rhyme.)
And one more, continuing the theme:
There once was a man from Nantucket
whose balls would have filled a large bucket.
Though he was transgendered
his leanings were rendered
impractical; he couldn't tuck it.