I just got a call this afternoon that the last of my immediate family is dying.
My sister fell out of bed in the care facility, broke her ribs and is in extreme pain. When they went to change her clothing, they found she was bleeding out internally.
Its just a matter of time now. Waiting for the Dr. to arrive and give her some potent pain meds. She is unable to swallow or talk now.
I am SO thankful I drove all the way to see her, over 500 miles, a week ago. While I didn't tell her good bye, she did tell me she wanted to die.
At 93, and in extremely poor health from previous extremely sub-standard care, she was ready to let go of life.
Its just a matter of time. And it might be for the best. Her quality of life was extremely poor.
(The thing that really makes me and a grand child of hers mad) is we can't prove elder abuse. if we could, I'd spend every last penny I have seeing that a certain people would go to jail for as long as they could send them.)
Its hard to put this into perspective, as I watched helplessly as my fiancé Jillian was crushed to death almost 2 years ago, another friend of 40 + years died in April, and I am really emotionally tired and spent of losing my family and friends.
I know when its your time, that's it. Its just hard for me to accept though.
I thought about leaving tonight to go see her for the last time, but with the bad weather, mountain pass construction, little sleep, and night time conditions, it is somewhat fool hardy of me to attempt. I do know my limits. I feel bad about not heading to see her, but in reality, there is little I could do except be there when she passes over.
She knows I love her and care about her, (which is more than some of her offspring can say.)
This is really hitting me hard, but I will get through it.
LynnaB
Foot Note;
My sister died on the evening of 10/27/15. may she Rest in Peace.
Sis, you will be sorely missed.
Comments
Just got a call. She is under
Just got a call. She is under morphine for the pain and is bleeding out. No one can tell how long.
Was told nothing I can do to help right now.
This so sucks!
LynnaB
Death is never easy or fair.
My Grandmother passed away 2 years ago at age 97, she started feeling bad one day, my mom went to see her, the next day me and my brothers are there to see her, her organs were already failing and she was in and out of coherence, Here Little brother 85 also came to see her. Her other 2 brothers died in world war 2 one buried in France the other in Belgium. And my grandfather her husband died over 25 years ago. Death is not fair to anyone the only mercy of it is that at least they are no longer in pain. I am only 32 and sometimes fear living to such an old age. The care system sadly is not all equal my grandmother managed to find a small facility where they took very good care of people. But she was not there long she lived independently until 95, and then she just started wearing out quickly, firsts needing a walker, then innocents products, a wheel chair, mechanical lift to get out of bed. she had not driven a vehicle since in 10 year. she had developed night blindness and did not want to attempt driving with the possibility that she could be impaired in some way. She bruised from the slightest touch and her skin would easily tear. Some people live until the body gives out, others are injured, some simply pass in there sleep, etc... But for those that are in pain I mourn there loss but I try to live remembering who they where and what they ment to us.
I hope you survive this emotionally painful time without too much scaring and come out to try and pass on what you knew of her to those that will listen.
"Cortana is watching you!"
That is news.
It is good that she is not in any pain.
And Lynna, I wish you only the best in such a trying time.
not much I can say
but have a huggle, just in case that helps
You have my sympathies and love.
Can't say that I know how you feel because I can't, but I do know from your words that you are suffering and I am sorry for that. I wish you all the comfort that others and your belief system can give you. May you have comfort.
Gwen
Passing on
We grieve not for those who go on, but for those of us who must learn to live without them. I know it's hard, but if she was ready to go then try to find joy in your heart that she is not in pain, and remember those things that made you love her. My thoughts and best wishes are with you.
Waterdog
so sorry to hear
in way know what your going though. my dad died back in 1961. than about 15 years ago in lost one of my brothers to cancer he was 53.than in 2008 I lost another brother he was 58.than a few after he past away my mother at the age of 87 past away. it leaves me and my older sister that's left. she just turn 73. so yeah it's hard you but knowing that the lord is watching over you. i'm sending prayers to you.
Last of my immediate family- Rant
It has been a long while since I blogged.
I managed to visit my sister just 2 weeks before she died. OMFG!
She looked like she was a survivor of one of the death camps. Her children were to be taking care of her. They did not to all appearances. The staff at the rest home informed me she had been eating more and putting on weight. ?? Jiminy, I could have picked her up with one arm. She was maybe 75 lbs. of skin and bone, tops. I am still SO angry, after these years of the horrible treatment by her children.
If I had solid legal proof of elder neglect- Well, I would have filed charges.
What really made me mad also was that I was to be informed on any major changes in her health.
I was never even notified they had put her into a care facility. She had been in there 3-1/2 months to the best I remember.
I called my relative who was to have kept me informed and received a total crap excuse " Things were so busy" .
For 3 & 1/2 months? It would have taken under 20 seconds to call (Even collect,) & tell me she was in a rest home.
It became obvious, IMO, that they neglected her and were afraid to tell me. I did express my opinion of what I thought of them all and broke off all contact with them because of this.
She was the last of my immediate family. I sure miss her and my brother.
LynnaB