It may be my asperger's, but being in the wrong body didn't really make sense. I knew I had the wrong genitals and I knew I was a girl since I told my parents "but, I'm a girl!" after they yelled at me for wearing the little girl next door's clothes. It must have been a few months before my 4th birthday. Liz and I traded clothes sitting on a bedspread in her back yard while her mother put wet laundry on clothes lines to dry. Her mom walked over to us, then my memory quit. The next thing I remember, my parents were screaming at me that I had to wear boys clothes, that only girls could wear girls clothes, so I said, "but, I'm a girl!"

I always wanted to be and fantasied being a girl then a womyn. As an adult, I was pretty athletic and sort of butch; I was in denial that I was TS and just thought I was a het crossdresser. I think I had normal T for 4 or 5 years after my puberty started at 16 1/2. Before and pretty soon after I was hypogonadal. It was funny, I was just this medium sized chunky kid with weak muscles, then, all of a sudden, I gained 6 or 7 inches in a year or so and got much stronger. I was on the light weight rowing team at MIT and developed to be one of the 8 best. I got stronger until my senior year when I started to get weaker, while all around me kept get stronger with bigger muscles. I was measured as below the normal range in T at 25.

I hated my balls because they had distorted my body. I was/ am my body, including my brain, etc. so I never thought it was a boy's or someone else's body. My body was misshapen, but not too much (I'm moderately passible) and it was all the fault of having testes. I have long legs, proper sized feet for a woman of my height and an inbetweener width pelvis. My face never got very masculinized, but my shoulders are kind of large, arms long, but hands and wrists narrow. My waist was never small enough and I keep collecting excess fat over my intestines (luckily not over my stomach) as I age.