I am a Co-Facilitator of a 'Vet 2 Vet' Peer Support Group at two of the VA Hospitals in the Boston area for Transgender Veterans and other LGBT Veterans that wish to join us also. I have not super active with the group for a while, because I was in school for 9 months and had to miss meeting due to classes. Then I became homeless and entered a program myself at the VA to deal with some of my own personal issues. Now I am missing the groups, because I am taking a Certification Program, offered by the state. to be a Certified Peer Specialist, which could lead to work for the VA or other work.
While I have been missing the groups, I have been attempting to keep in contact with the Veterans that attend the group and still helping the other facilitator the best I can, along with answering emails and phone calls I get from VA staff and Veterans from all over about options at the VA for us, along with pointing people to the right people to see at there local VA.
I had become friends with one member of our group and knew, that she was having problems. With my busy schedule and trying to take care of myself, I lost track of time and did not keep in contact very well. Back in July I was planning on going to a ball game one night. I got in early so I stopped in to see her and we talked for a while.
Every since then, I have been trying to get in contact with her. Her phone had been turned off and I was checking with different programs and people to see if they had seen her. Of course with HIPPA rules and reg's they can not say a lot.
I learned tonight that in early Aug. She passed away from an overdose.
2 months ago, another veteran I was talking with that was dealing with issues and trying to work through them with him. We lived in the same place run by the VA, I left to go do some shopping and to pay a bill. Think everything was ok and he was safe. While I was shopping the person I was with got a phone call, that that person had passed away. I learned the other day it was also from an overdose.
Right now I am just having a hard time dealing with how to do my job of helping people and supporting them. Being there friend, but not seeing what is about to happen to them.
I feel like I let them down or I did not do something or there was more that I could have done.
I am starting to question if I should take my certification test in a few weeks and if what I am trying to do is the right thing?
Comments
guilt
please do not take on this guilt. you can only do the best you can. you are not responsible for other peoples lives, you can help them live better lives but not live it for them. if you take on this guilt you will reduce the amount of help you can give others in the future. you can give more to others if you give to yourself first. i wish you the best.
I think that you are asking
I think that you are asking the question shows you care, and you should take the test.
You can not take on other's guilt
You have to take care of yourself first and some of these other people need to take on the responsibility for their own shit. What you are doing is being Co-dependent. Being trans, and coping with the loss of family and a million other things is really hard.
I'm dealing with that all the time, and trying to figure out a way to just say to hell with the family. Other than them, I live a very happy life.
Chin up there girl
Gwen
It is impossible to foresee a suicide.
How many times have we cursed our blindness or inadequacies because one of our sisters or brothers has killed themselves almost before our very eyes. AND WE DID NOT SEE IT COMING!
To see it one would have to be clairvoyant! Do not blame yourself, do not beat your self up about it. It just happens - and we lose another friend. We have not failed them. Those that abuse and condemn are the ones that fail them. And there are many more of them,