I’ve been out on a lot of dates…with a lot of gorgeous girls. But Samantha has me bewitched! I can’t keep my eyes off her. And I can’t keep my urges under control. It gets worse every time I get a whiff of her heavenly scent…it’s like the aroma is turning me on. Literally!
I barely make it into the restaurant, without giving in to the desire…to just stop and kiss her…on the spot. At least, with the table between us, the overwhelming desire lessens. But it doesn’t completely go away. It’s just more manageable.
I force myself to focus on trying to settle Samantha’s obvious dating concerns. And on showing her that I’m not a bad guy. I mean…I’m not! I’ve just never had…such overwhelming…desires. She’s so hot…it hurts! Literally!
We make it through dinner…without incident. She’s just so cute…wanting a steak! But then I have to really fight myself from eating her for my second dessert… The drive to the movie theater is excruciating! After we finally get there…with me sticking my head out the window, the whole way…we go in. I lead her to the perfect little spot that I reserved for us…and we settle in. And there we are…sitting together…so close…to one another. Her scent overwhelms me. And I can’t help myself.
I try. I really do! I mean, sure, I had every intention…all along…of trying to sneak at least one kiss. And my ploy of bringing her to an ultra-long chick-flick is working…too well.
She starts crying at the “emotional” scenes…as predicted….
I pull her into a hug “to comfort her”…as planned. But that’s when I get a deep breath of that heavenly perfume of hers…mixed with her angelic body aroma….
Like I said, at that point…I literally can’t help myself. I start nibbling on her neck and ear. It’s all I can do to not go further!
She hisses for me to stop.
I can’t though. And I can tell she really wants me to keep on…deep down.
And…finally…she just gives in.
After the first kiss…it’s all I can do to remember we’re in the movie theater. We kiss intensely…and passionately…until the movie is over.
I want more! I want it so much…it actually hurts! I’m near panting…. I have to get her someplace after…the movie…and get some relief! We need to go all the way!
On our way out, I’m considering where we should go.
That’s when she breaks free from me to go into the girl’s room. She finally comes back out…after at least ten long minutes….
And my head has cleared a little.
She’s fixed her makeup and once again looks like an angel. She reluctantly lets me take her hand…but keeps as far from me…as she can…without breaking my hold. She has a mix of…desire…and disgust on her face.
I want to kiss her so badly! But…I also want…more…! It’s worse again…now that she’s back with me. I get her into the car and steal another kiss…and lean in to continue. I can tell she wants to keep on!
But she pushes me back…and makes it very clear that she has to get home.
I start to argue with her, but the fresh air helps clear my head…a little. It’s enough that I remember her mom’s warning. That dire memory somehow cuts through the fog in my brain…and it sinks in that I do have to get her home.
I force myself to get into the driver’s seat and take off…looking straight ahead. Her perfume once again fully assaults me in the enclosed car, so I concentrate as much as I can on my driving. I lower the window and drive with it down to keep my head clear of her intoxicating scent.
As soon as I pull into her driveway, she jumps out and runs into the house—without a word to me.
I yell after her to try and get her to commit to another date.
But she’s gone…the door firmly closing behind her.
I can almost feel her mother glaring at me through the solid wood.
I would be pissed…but I really need to get somewhere…fast! I need to give myself some relief…ASAP! I’m about to die! Talk about blue balls!
I get up bleary-eyed. I didn’t sleep much at all, last night. And when I did…I had…unnerving dreams. Like, I had been fully transformed into a girl…as in having…a girl’s…“equipment.” I was out on a date with Gerome…and we went all the way…. And the most frightening thing is…I was really enjoying it.
When I woke up, after that dream, my heart was pounding. My nipples were like rocks…and I was actually panting! And now…on top of that…there’s also this suspicious looking…spot…on my sheets.
I sigh and go to my bathroom to take a shower. I debate on whether it should be a cold one! I’ve long gotten used to daily showers…since I started this whole ordeal…even on Sundays…. if I don’t shower and do my makeup…every day…I just don’t feel right. I mean, literally. It’s probably just in my head, but it’s not only a matter of looking forward to the tingle…. I seem to get all jittery and have a slight headache if I try and go without. And to be totally honest…anymore…I feel…well…kind of naked with no makeup on. Like…I’m…unfinished…or something.
I soak up the steam in the shower…having decided against the cold one…. Even so…I shiver when I accidentally brush my nipples with the scrubby…and wish it was from cold water…. The sensation causes last evening’s events to come crashing back to my mind.
I have no idea what got into me! I have no desire to be with another boy. Well…with any boy…. I mean… any boy. I shake my head in confusion. But what about my dreams then? What do those mean?
When I got home…and ran inside without a word to Gerome…I almost cried myself to sleep in Momma’s arms. That was after somehow convincing Daddy that Gerome didn’t hurt me…so he didn’t have to go hunt him down. He just threw his arms up in frustration…and went out back…on the patio…where he and Momma now always go…to smoke…. He just doesn’t get me anymore…but…then I don’t get myself!
After confirming that I wasn’t somehow physically hurt, Momma sent me to bed with a promise that we would talk through it all…today. I noticed her going out back, too…as I climbed the stairs to try and get some sleep. The last thing I heard, before closing my door, was Momma and Daddy arguing loudly…but I couldn’t make out what they were saying.
I shake my head at the fact that they voluntarily let themselves get addicted to something as stupid as smoking. Then I remember her “promise….” That we would “talk….” I’m sure they were down there smoking and hashing out what we will “talk” about…. I have that to look forward to…when I go down this morning. Oh joy! Maybe I can just stay up here all day!
I sigh and pat myself dry. Then I moisturize…all over…and sit down to do my makeup. As bizarre as it sounds…doing that is…strangely therapeutic. I still have no actual desire to be a girl…or to wear makeup. But putting it on makes me feel better—and it’s fast becoming…well…just a part of me.
I shake my head. Who am I kidding? I love the feeling of the makeup…and how it makes me look. But that doesn’t mean that I want to wear it…. I think…. But…then why do I feel naked without it? It’s all so confusing!
I finish perfecting my face and get dressed. Then, on my way to the stairs, I peek in Gemma’s room, and see she’s up…sitting on her bed…and with a deeply reflective look on her face.
She startles when she notices me and motions for me to come in.
It looks like she was just getting ready to take a shower…and thinking hard about…something.
She puts on a hopeful face. “Do you think we can talk to Momma, today…about my makeup situation? I don’t want to run out of product…and not have any sort of backup!”
I shake my head. “I’m not making any promises, Gemma.” I sigh. “I had a really bad night, last night…and Momma and Daddy want to talk about it. We’ll have to see how that goes. You really shouldn’t have gotten yourself into this pickle! Like me…you’re just going to have to live with your choices…for better or worse.”
She hangs her head and bites her lower lip…obviously fighting tears.
I wordlessly hug her…but I have my own demons to fight. So, I leave her to take her shower and reluctantly go on downstairs…not looking forward to what is to come.
Chad is just getting up from table…having finished his breakfast…and he gives me a funny look. “How did the date go, Sis?”
I think he’s actually being sincere. I shudder and give him a glare. “Chad, I’m not your Sis! I mean…I’m…. Oh! Never mind.” I shake my head. “Anyway, it was a complete disaster!”
He gives me a concerned look and purses his lips. “Do I need to go beat this guy up? I mean, I know he goes to that fancy private school…so I don’t really know him…but I can certainly find him!”
I smile and suddenly feel a warmth spread through my body. For all the crap he’s given me, he does care! That’s so sweet! I shake my head and sigh. “No. That’s not it, Chad. He didn’t really do anything…wrong. I mean he didn’t…force…me to do anything…. I just did some things—wanted some things—that have me all confused. I mean I let him….”
Now he really looks concerned…and…repulsed.
It hits me what he’s probably thinking.
His eyebrows have climbed up his forehead and disappeared under his hair. His face is a little green.
I feel my face turn sour and show my disgust. “Ewww! No, Chad. He just kissed me! Nothing more!”
He shakes his head and gives me a stern warning. “Be careful, Sis! ‘Just’ kissing can lead to a lot of other things. I don’t want to see you hurt!” He gives me a brotherly hug…like I’ve seen him give Gemma…a thousand times. Then he turns to head out the door.
I just splutter behind him. “I love you, too! But I’m not your Sis!”
He keeps just keeps walking…but waves off my protest. And he simply laughs as my words ring hollow…even to myself.
Right then is when Momma comes in…with Daddy right behind her.
So…I “get” to spend my breakfast telling them the whole story…about the whole “date.” And I readily admit to how I’m all…confused…about so many things.
Daddy looks totally green…like he wants to throw up. Then he turns red. Then he turns green again.
Momma just shakes her head and puckers her lips. “So, do you like boys…in general? Or is it just…Gerome?”
I shake my head and shout in frustration. “Neither! I…I…I mean….” My voice falls to barely an audible whisper. “I…don’t know…anymore.” And I have to fight…really hard…not to tear up.
“How much longer is this trial supposed to go on?” Daddy looks at Momma in desperation. “When can Sam get out from under this? School’s going to start soon. I know you said that he had to take those…supplements…whatever they are. But maybe it’s not too late for him to…you know…go back to being a normal boy? To being my son!”
Momma shakes her head and sighs deeply. “First of all…I don’t know that I understand everything in his damned contract…it’s different than mine. I suppose I could ask Lissa…or Ginny. But that won’t get him out from under his modeling contract. We’re both past the thirty-day trial. So, I would assume it would be for at least a year…. Mine’s an open-ended contract…subject to renegotiation every five years. I just don’t know about Samantha’s…it’s probably the same…. It got all confusing with the modifications. I’m not a lawyer. Maybe we should talk to Roger? I know we should have done that before signing, but here we are.”
Daddy turns a deeper shade of green. He finally admits what we has been up to. “I have been talking to him! He just says we’re stuck with the contract. I’ll have to ask about a termination clause, though. I’m not sure what the stipulation was around that infernal thousand you…we…took up front. And then there’s all of those clothes that you let them talk you into ‘giving’ Sam. No matter what…I’m sure it won’t be cheap!”
Momma just glares at him…and I figure they will be “talking” again later…out back….
I sigh. “It doesn’t matter.” I shrug. “I can live with the modeling…and the makeup.” I shake my head and beg. “But Momma, just please don’t let them set me up on any more ‘dates.’ Please! I don’t know what came over me! It was embarrassing! And I don’t think I like the thoughts it’s causing me to have…about…boys…. I don’t even know who I am…anymore!” I fight the tears that want to start.
She hugs me tightly and has a hitch in her voice when she answers. “I’ll do what I can, Hon. You know I can’t control them, though. And it’s supposedly in your contract, as part of the marketing piece, that you’ll go to ‘business meetings.’ They can’t force you to date…but going to…dinner…? They can direct you to do that…and there’s not much difference in a boy’s mind….”
I just sigh and nod my head…ready to throw up at any minute. It’s the “business” part that I’m afraid of…in those “meetings!”
Daddy just swallows his bile and exclaims that he’s going to the back porch…. I notice he grabs his bottle of whiskey and a new box of cigars.
I look at the clock. It’s just 9:04…a.m.!
I walk into the kitchen…just as it looks like a seriously intense conversation between Sis, Momma, and Daddy is just ending.
Momma is squeezing Sis…who has tears in her eyes.
Daddy looks…sick…and throws his hands up, as he gets up in a total huff, and leaves the room…to go out on the back porch. I can’t believe he’s taking a bottle of whiskey with him…and those stinky cigars! Ewwwww!
I look at Sis, just sitting there…with a confused look on her face. I’ve started thinking of her as my sister…it’s just easier that way. I know Chad thinks the same way. There simply isn’t anything “boy” left in her—despite her protests to the contrary.
I fix a bowl of cereal and sit down. I take a bite and slowly chew it…then decide to push my issue a little. I swallow my mouthful and look across the table. “Momma, Sis’s been teaching me all about makeup. I mean…you said that was alright. I think she’ll agree that I’m doing really well, right Sis?” I smile sweetly…hopefully.
She jerks in surprise when I say that.
But I push on. “So, can I please start wearing full makeup, Momma? Please?”
Momma looks at me, then looks hard at Sis. Finally, she sighs. “Samantha, do you agree that Gem has learned the lessons you’ve been teaching her?”
Samantha scowls and exclaims in a huff. “What is it with everyone calling me ‘she’ and ‘her’ and ‘Sis’ today? I’m not a girl!”
Momma slaps the table hard with the palm of her hand. “Enough! Samantha, you have to get used to the fact that as long as you’re under that contract…and taking those supplements…that you agreed to…that you are a girl! You look like one. You act like one. You walk like one. You talk like one. You sound like one. And…you want like one.”
I have no idea what she means by that, but Sis looks like she slapped her…not the table.
Tears start streaming down her cheeks…and she just sits there with a shocked and utterly miserable look on her face.
Momma goes over and hugs her again…then kisses her cheek. She finally shakes her head. “Look, Hon. I’ll go in with you to talk to Lissa in the morning. We can find out how soon the trial will be over…and then we can talk to Greta about the modeling contract. Maybe we can get you out from under it…but you need to think hard about whether that’s what you really want. I’m not so convinced it is, to be brutally honest.” She sits back and quietly waits.
Sis takes a shaky breath. Then she dabs her eyes with tissue. She nods and bites her lower lip before responding with a sniffle. “Thanks, Momma.” She shrugs. “I…I…I…simply don’t know…anymore. But finding out what…my options are…can’t hurt…right?”
Momma hugs her again, then nods. “Now, about your sister. I’m not a fan of letting a thirteen-year-old wear full makeup. But there are two…members of this family that are currently being paid to promote the use of said makeup. And since the girl’s fourteenth birthday is next week…I maybe could be persuaded…if I can be convinced, she’s up to doing it correctly…and is taking it seriously. So…how is she doing? I trust your judgment, Hon!”
My heart skips several beats! This may work out!
Samantha just numbly shrugs and smiles wanly. “She’s doing great. Although, it still seems weird for me to be teaching her…and that you trust my judgment on how she’s doing!”
“It’s what big sisters do!” Momma smiles and shrugs. “It’s odd that you asked about this, though, Gem. Greta just came to me on Friday…and offered me free samples…specifically for you. They’re thinking of a junior line for young teens…I think their calling it WunderTeen…or something. She said all I need to do is bring in a few pictures…so they can put together the proper palette. There’s also something about a teen body spray….”
She winks. “If you like them, I can get the usual discount on the product line…if and when it goes on the market. You would have to, of course, brag to all your friends about using it. And show it off to make them jealous! It seems you can thank your sister for making it all happen. I guess she’s talked you up at WG. Well…and taught you how to properly wear it.” She grins.
I hop up and give Momma a huge hug and thank her profusely. Then I hug Sis and whisper in her ear. “Thank you, Sis!”
After that, I hurry back upstairs to brag to my BFFs…that I’m going to get to use makeup! A full palette! All of the time!
Of course, I’ll leave out the part about the tingles—but I’m already looking forward to both using the makeup and having the tingles! It all certainly makes me want to use WunderGirl products. And use them exclusively…from now on! The fact that Momma and Sis work there doesn’t matter…it’s awesome stuff! Why wouldn’t I?
The whole conversation with Samantha is concerning. That date went horribly wrong…and could have gone even worse. I honestly wasn’t expecting her to kiss Gerome once…let alone lose control and have a full-blown make out session during the movie! I mean...what if Gerome had…. I shake my head and shudder.
It’s clear that Gary is bothered by it all, too. But I’m not so sure it’s for the same reasons as me. He still sees Samantha as his son…and is not thinking about from the proper perspective. The thing is…I don’t Samantha is even thinking that way. Like Gary…she’s still thinking like a boy on this whole thing…that kissing Gerome is…“gay.” Neither one is thinking about what would happen if Gerome had…tried something…. That Samantha has something that he would not be expecting…and finding that would be catastrophic. For all kinds of reasons.
But Samantha is clearly confused…her dreams are a testament to that. Do I need to get her to a shrink? I think she may actually be transgender…and not realize it. But what do I know? I don’t even know where to begin on that…. I’m not going to talk to Lissa about it. That’s for sure! I guess I’ll just wait…and see where things go…. I mean if Samantha goes back to being Samuel, then…what’s the point?
I understand her distress about the date…and the fear that she will be forced on more. I just don’t know how to stop it from happening. I just understand her contract well enough. We really need to talk to Roger about this whole thing. I mean I know we should have well before now…before we even signed. But hindsight is always twenty-twenty…. I finally hug my clearly distraught child….
Gary storms out to the patio…to smoke.
I want to follow him…for several reasons….
But Gem comes in and obviously wants to talk about something…and that something doesn’t take long to come out.
I should have known this was coming. It’s hard to believe my daughter…well…my other daughter is turning fourteen next week. That has been my family’s “coming of age” birthday…for starting to use makeup. Of course, she wants to go further than is “traditional” for the family “values.” I take a deep breath…I was planning on letting her start next week anyway…and she’s really been learning a lot from Samantha. Then…there’s the whole teen makeup line at WG…. I’m still not sure about that…something seems…off…but I’m probably just being paranoid…because of everything else.
So…I give in. I’ll probably end up regretting it…but…it’s hard to stop her from using cosmetics when Samantha is so fully into them…even though she’s nearly two years older.
Gem hurries upstairs to brag to her friends.
Samantha goes next door to Faith’s…those two have become nearly inseparable…especially since Mark is being an ass and not returning any of Samantha’s emails.
I take a deep breath…and go out the patio.
Gary is sitting in a recliner, smoking a cigar…and staring at the bottle of whisky in his hand.
“Don’t even think about it, Gary! You’ve been way too much, to begin with…but you’re not going to start drinking this early in the day.” I light a cigarette and blow out my smoke in exasperation.
“I’m…not…. I know…. I just don’t understand my son, anymore!” He puts the bottle down and puffs on his cigar.
I shrug. “I’m not convinced she is your son, anymore…if she ever was.” I shake my head. “We’re in over our heads here, Sweetie…in everything. But…you need to be more supportive…no matter how this goes down. I don’t have any intention of being married to a drunk. Do we understand each other?” I give him a serious look.
He sighs…and nods. “I have no intention of being a drunk…and I’ll…try….”
I sit in the kitchen and listen to my son talk about his “date” from last night. He’s sitting there…back straight as an arrow, with his legs crossed, wringing his hands folded in his lap…and perfectly made up. That alone still blows my mind…he looks like a perfect little lady. But when he starts talking about kissing that other boy…I nearly lose it…literally!
At least he admits that he’s confused. I know that it confuses the Hell out of me!
I finally can’t take it anymore…I grab my cigars…and my bottle of whisky…and go out to the patio. I sit down and light a cigar and puff on it…and stare at the bottle of whiskey. It’s just after nine in the morning…and I’m seriously contemplating pouring a large glass of whiskey. I think I need help…. Sam needs help…. We all need help….
Jules comes out and gives me shit. I can’t blame her…not really. But she’s as much to blame on this whole sordid mess, as anyone. So blaming me is so…hypocritical. I watch her smoke her cigarette in frustration.
I promise to try. “But Jules…I want my son back. We did this to him…both of us.” I don’t add that she’s the one that pushed hardest. I don’t have to.
She knows it.
I look up as Samantha comes into the kitchen. She let herself in…which is normal. I do the same at her house. Our mommas are best friends…and so are we. I can’t deny that since she’s…well…become a “she”…and there’s no doubt in my mind that she has…that I wouldn’t mind it being more than just “best friends.” But…that’s not something that I’m prepared to divulge…just yet. I know that some at school suspect it…but I’m still firmly in the closet.
“Hi, Sam! So…I take it from your text that the date went…unexpectedly….” I look around. Mumma’s upstairs…but I doubt Sam wants her to overhear. “Let’s go to my room and we can discuss it.” I take her hand and lead her to my room…and close the door. “So…dish. What happened?”
She takes a deep breath and looks like she may cry. “It was…terrible, Faith! He kissed me…and…I kissed him back! We…like…made out…the whole movie. I couldn’t stop myself!”
I feel…deflated. “So…you liked it?”
She shakes her head. “That’s just the thing! I was…like…disgusted with myself the whole time I was doing it! But…I couldn’t stop…he just sort of…turned me on…. If I could have…I think I would have even…gone further. I know he wanted to…he was rock-hard. I could tell. It was disgusting!”
I sigh. OK…so maybe not all is lost! “So…what happened?”
She takes a deep breath. “Other than kissing…nothing. After the movie…he wanted more…I could tell. I was afraid…. I was finally able to break through…and convince him that I needed to get home. I stormed off when he got me home…and have no intention of ever talking to him again! I’m afraid of…what might happen…if I do.”
I so want to hug her…console her…as more than her friend. But I just give her a tight hug and swallow my emotions. She smells so good! “It’s OK, Hon. It’ll be OK. It’s over! But…are you saying you’re into guys, now? There’s nothing wrong with that….”
She takes a shaky breath and sighs. Then she shakes her head on my shoulder…then speaks into it. “No! I mean…I don’t think so! Oh! I just…don’t know!”
I stroke her hair. “It’s OK, Hon! I’m here whenever you need to talk….” And I’m here for when you need more than talking….
She finally pushes back from my hug. “Thanks, Faith! You don’t know how much that means to me! I…I…I don’t know what I would do without you, right now! You really are my BFF!”
All Rights Reserved.
(Cover image designed by Shauna Rousseau & Joyce Melton.)
(Image Sources: Androgynous Man & Football Field
Melissa
* * * * *
I sit and listen to Samantha prattle on about her “traumatizing” experience with Gerome. Of course, the fact that Gerome would react that way to her pheromones is no surprise. Any more than that she would “respond” with her special hormone mix…combined with the high dosage of aphrodisiacs. The whole package is designed to make her irresistibly alluring to boys…and her…well…“amorous.”
I would’ve been disappointed if it hadn’t been the case. She needs to learn what it means to be a girl, in today’s world. And what boys will do…or at least want to do. She’ll just have to learn to deal it…like it or not. Especially if she’s going to be a WunderGirl…and be of any use to me in my endeavors.
Julia stays quiet throughout his whole sob spiel.
Samantha actually weeps…so I know the hormones are affecting her. She finally finishes her sob story and shuts up.
“I don’t know Lissa.” Julia finally speaks up. “Maybe this has gone too far. How much is left on the trial? I don’t know about what we would have to do to fully satisfy the M&M part of the contract, but I wanted to start here. Maybe it’s time for Sam to go back to just being the boy he was…before all of this.”
I can tell she’s on the fence about that. But I think there’s more to it than just her…or Samantha’s…contract.
I give Julia a disappointed look. And then I look pointedly at Samantha and purse my lips. “So you want to quit? The trial is not over. You signed up for a minimum of a year…with the option of an extension…or until the trial is over, in the unlikely event it would end before the year is out. But I have gotten some good data from you….” I fake a sigh. “If I were to let you out of the trial, it would be up to legal to determine the full penalties for breaking the contract. Some are specified in the contract…others are more…flexible. You do understand that would mean no more special product. For you…or your sister.”
Julia looks confused. No surprise there.
I ignore her.
Samantha looks totally conflicted…. I can see the struggle in her eyes.
Finally, she answers. “I…I…I don’t want to quit the trial. I…like using the products…and the makeup….”
I smile.
Julia doesn’t look surprised at her admission.
Samantha looks at Julia in confused determination and whispers. “Please don’t tell Daddy! I’ll keep on…with the trial…and modeling. I…I…I want to.”
“We’ll get back to your sister in a minute.” Julia seems exasperated. “But as for you…if you do this…it will be long-term. Do you understand? The full year…at least. You will have to go to school…as Samantha. Greta will expect you to continue your development…both physically…and mentally. And meeting all M&M and WG expectations. She may even offer you an extension…if your contract is similar to mine…on that point. Are you sure? We’re not going to keep going back and forth on this. If you commit, it’s for the long haul. And I expect you to honor that…with everything that goes with it!”
I get the feeling that Julia is just testing her resolve…and not trying to really talk her out of it.
Samantha chews thoughtfully on her lower lip…and finally nods.
Then the whole thing with her sister comes out. Oops. My bad! OK…not really. I don’t care! But I can tell there will be further discussion when they get home.
Julia eventually agrees to have me continue to supply the products for her other daughter. She doesn’t have a clue what that actually means, since Samantha didn’t explain that part. And I’m not saying, either. Yes, I’ll continue to provide the products. For a price…yet to be determined. None of them know that part, for now.
I consider Samantha’s further trials as they leave. I decide I’m now going to have Ginny continue her special hormonal mix and maintain her high concentrations of aphrodisiacs and pheromones. I’m intrigued now to see how far we can push her…with long-term sustainment of the effects. I might be able to use that data for something in the future. Who knows?
I also consider what to do about the internal cosmetics she’s on. For now, her altered hair, eye, and nail colors are temporary. If she were to quit using the products, then everything would go back to normal. I do have an experimental product that I’m about ninety percent certain will make the changes permanent. At least it’s worked on mice…and…more or less…on a few early human guinea pigs.
I make a note to have Joyce use the setting hair rinse at Samantha’s next appointment. Red is such a lovely color on her. And those eyes are beautiful…so, I will have Ginny add the setting drops. I’ll have to think about the nails. I may want to change the color to test that some more. I also need to think about her lips and eyelids. Any of the extended wear makeup can theoretically be made permanent…if the setting products work…it should be interesting to see how it turns out.
All in a day’s work at R&D!
Greta
* * * * *
“I see. I’m sure he’s sorry, Adam. And, of course, I’m sure that Samantha will be glad to give him another chance. But…let’s maybe give her a couple of days to recover? We could shoot for Friday or Saturday? I will also have to talk to her parents. Jules tells me that Samantha’s father is against her dating…at all…until she’s sixteen.”
I’m on the phone with Adam. He called to apologize for Gerome’s behavior. He’s also promised his son will be nothing but a gentleman…moving forward. But it’s all completely unnecessary!
I don’t know exactly what happened on their date. Or why either Gerome or Adam feels like they need to apologize. But I’m sure Gerome was just being a teenage boy…out on a date with a beautiful teenage girl. Certain things are to be expected when teenage boys’ hormones rage…it’s just…natural! Something Samantha’s going to have to get used to...all girls do.
“That sounds great, Greta.” Adam sighs. “Just let me know. I’d also like to talk to you about getting Julia and Samantha back on another shoot….” He pauses briefly. “It’s in…ummm…three weeks. Armanio Juliette has a fashion show coming up and I’m his go-to photographer. He needs a couple of fresh, new faces…and I told him I have just the ticket. It would be a substantial payout for all involved. I mean…this is big-league stuff. I also think it could lead to some possibilities for some TV commercials…at least for Samantha…together with Gerome…if she plays her cards right. I know the shoot is after school has started, but it would only require missing a day and half…it’s Friday through Sunday. So…she would need to miss Thursday afternoon and all day, Friday.”
I gasp—this is huge news! I nod into the phone and smile. “I will talk with them. Please go ahead and get them signed up…and send me over the contract. It won’t be a problem to get them to sign, at all…I can assure you of that!”
We talk a couple more minutes, then I disconnect and purse my lips in thought. I’m both elated at the shoot and frustrated at my newest teen model. I’m not sure what Samantha’s hang up with Gerome is…but she better get over it. Pronto!
Ginny
* * * * *
I receive near simultaneous messages from Lissa and Greta.
Lissa wants me to maintain…and possibly even augment…the feminizing components of Samantha’s products. She suggests including some of the same components we’ve been giving Ronni. With what she’s outlining, the poor girl…like Ronni…is going to be awfully…well…needy…to put it mildly. Boys will be flocking to her…and chasing her everywhere. I have no idea what her sexuality is—but I hope she’s into boys. They’re certainly about to be into her! Maybe literally! I shake my head in wonder at her situation.
At any rate, it seems she may very well be into boys, since Greta told me that she’s going to be going out with Gerome…on another date. It’s in a couple of days and she wants me to do everything I can to make that go well…. Poor Samantha. It seems she’s being hooked up…for the good of the company. At least it’s with an up-and-coming actor. I hear he’s really moving up in that realm. And his Dad is already filthy rich. So…she could do a lot worse.
I continue to shake my head and make the prescribed tweaks to her products. She’s going to become quite the little sex bomb…if she stays on this formulation for any significant length of time. And it seems that Lissa plans on keeping her on it…for the foreseeable future…and maybe longer.
I finish reformulating the “love potion.” Then I get out the special eyedrops that I will have to administer myself. She will be one of the first humans to get them. I already know they’re safe…and I’m pretty confident they will actually work. So far, they have worked well in mice…and in the couple of humans they’ve been used on…well…after the first mishap…that we don’t talk about! It’s too soon to tell whether they will actually be permanent, but they are at the very least going to be very long-lasting.
Now…if we could only figure out how it works…it was just a fluke that we discovered the setting compound. We have no idea what makes them tick…my bet is on some sort of genetic-level change. But we don’t have the equipment to test that hypothesis. But the changes do seem to carry over to the next generation of mice…so that seems to support my theory.
Samantha comes in and I smile. I’m not totally sure about the ethics of giving her the spiced-up products. But she did volunteer for the trial and voluntarily sign up…and she did tell Lissa that she wants to continue. That it’s because she wants to continue having access to the products…is beside the point. She wants to continue using them…and no one is forcing her. It’s not like she was put in a corner. And she is going out on another date with Gerome…. I shrug. I guess it’s not unethical when you look at it that way. At least that’s what I’m going with!
“OK, Samantha. I’m fixing up some new products for you. Make sure that you get rid of your old ones. In other words…don’t let your sister get ahold of them this time!” I wink and giggle.
Lissa let me in on that little story…so that I can properly prepare the appropriate products for Gemma. She has a particular plan in mind…for her…and it will likely turn into a boon for our research. M&M will surely be onboard, too.
Samantha turns red in embarrassment at the ribbing.
I grin, then turn serious. “I need to put some drops in your eyes. Then you need to go see Joyce. By the time she’s through with you, I’ll have your new products sent over to Brea and you can pick them up there.”
She’s awfully quiet and seems sort of resigned to her fate…like she’s given up fighting who she is. It’s about time she accepts it.
“Come on!” I smile encouragingly. “Let me put these in—it will sting, though. I’m sorry about that!”
I put three drops in each eye…and know that it will be close to “molten lava” on her lava scale.
Her reaction confirms that it hurts…a lot. After a count of then, she just hops around and cusses…in a very un-lady-like manner. But she doesn’t ask what they’re for.
I don’t tell her that her green eyes are now almost certainly a permanent part of her. After a minute, I clear my throat. “I know that stung, Hon. But…on the bright side…you won’t have to use the daily drops, anymore. You might have slightly blurry vision for an hour or so. Don’t worry your sweet little head, though…it will clear right up. And after that…you should be no worse for the wear.”
Joyce
* * * * *
I’m taking a quick smoke break, when I get a message from Lissa. I get it at nearly the same time that Greta comes out to the Smoker’s Corner to join me. I shake my head. Smoking may be out of vogue…in mainstream society…but it certainly is still a staple in serious models’ diets. Nearly everyone here does it to keep their figure. Well…the older models…. The young ones seem to be more resistant to its allure…although…many of them will take up vaping, instead…. Not that it helps…they then later just start smoking…. The vaping just seems to lead them down the inevitable path….
I read Lissa’s message as Greta lights up. The content comes as quite the surprise to me. But I’m thrilled for Samantha! I put my phone down and smile.
Greta blows out her smoke, as she speaks. “Joyce, Adam just called me and wants Samantha to go out with Gerome again. It seems their last date had some…complications. I don’t have all the details, but I want all of us here to do…whatever we can…over the next couple of days and remedy the situation. We need to make sure that Samantha is ready for a more…enjoyable date. I am setting it up for Friday…or maybe Saturday. I still need to confer with Jules on that…so it’s still to be determined.”
I nod. I’m still getting used to everyone calling Julia “Jules.” But I like it.
Greta inhales deeply and continues talking while exhaling her smoke. “Samantha doesn’t know about the date, yet.” She shrugs. “If it’s enjoyable for both, it would be great…but our customer always comes first. Gerome is not our customer…but Adam is…so our curtesy extends to his son. And I don’t want Gerome to think he has to apologize for being a boy—or that his father has to call me to set up another date. If Gerome wants to go out with Samantha, then Samantha needs to go out with Gerome…and be happy to do it.” She puts out her cigarette and quickly lights another. “And just think of the publicity for WG!”
I nod and light another, myself. “Lissa just sent me something that falls right in line with that. Don’t worry, Greta. I’ll get with the girls and we’ll work on her. She just needs to loosen up…and start enjoying being a girl. She needs to stop pretending to fight it! Have you noticed? She has really taken to…most…of it quite well. This is basically the last hurdle to getting her over her own false blustering.”
“Yes.” She nods. “I do think she’s protesting too much. She may not be into boys…I don’t know. But from what Jules was saying…I don’t think that’s a given….”
We finish our extended break by putting out our cigarettes and quickly go back inside to get back to work.
I get ready for Samantha, since Greta let me know that she should be finishing up with Ginny right about now. She will be on her way right after that and I want things to go smoothly.
A few minutes later, Samantha finally comes in…and looks like she’s been crying…a lot! There are huge tear trails running down her cheeks.
“Oh, you poor doll!” I rush over to grab her shoulders and hold her tight. “What’s the matter? We need to fix your makeup! Oh, never mind! You’re going to see Brea after this, anyway. And I’m actually going to wash your hair this time…not just style it. But let’s at least wipe off that mess, first. OK?”
She doesn’t really say much…or react at all, for that matter. She just keeps switching between rapidly blinking her eyes…then holding the tightly shut for a few seconds…like they hurt. She also seems to be having trouble focusing…like everything is all blurry.
I sit her down at the sink and quickly wipe off her makeup with some disposable wipes. Then I wash her hair with the special shampoo that Ginny sent over to me. Before I can even get to use the cream rinse, she startles me.
She starts jumping around in the chair like mad! She just keeps muttering something about fire ants crawling in her scalp.
I guess it must sting a little. I shrug…I had no idea…. I wait the prescribed time and then condition her hair…ignoring her outburst…. I repeat the process…with the same results. Then I take her to my chair and give her a new wonderfully girly-girl style. There’s nothing ambiguous about this style. It screams “femininity.” And it will certainly help cement her in that mindset. And if I do say so, myself…it looks lovely on her…especially with her gorgeous red hair.
By the time I’m done, it looks like she’s having better luck focusing. Her lovely eyes are a little red from crying, but her irises are such a lovely bright shade of emerald green…and they go perfectly with her shiny, now permanently coppery-red hair. Well, permanent if the setting solution works as planned. We’ll know in a week…if her hair continues to grow red without using the temporary products, then it works.
“Oh, Hon!” I gush in genuine enthusiasm. “Your eyes and hair are lovely and go so well together. Isn’t it exciting that they’re both now your permanent color?”
What happens next, is something that I would never have anticipated. Not in a million years!
She slumps over in a dead faint! Poor Dear! She must be totally overwhelmed with excitement! The enthusiasm of her increased status as a WunderGirl must just be too much for the poor girl to process!
Yes, she’s going to make a very lovely young lady…and do the company proud!
Samantha
* * * * *
I think I just screwed up…big time!
How could I have just agreed to continue this whole thing? I mean, I could have gotten out of it! I had the bird in my hand…and I let it fly away…voluntarily. Or was it?
I shake my head. I do like the feeling from the products. Does that mean I’m “hooked?” Could I live without the feeling? I think more about it…and know I could. I just don’t want to. The plusses outweigh the minuses. But that’s the whole problem! The minuses are just so fricking huge!
I mean…I will have to live as a girl, for Chrissake! I know I’m not a girl. I mean, well…I think I’m not a girl… I mean. Shit! I just don’t know what I know anymore! Other than the disaster with Gerome the other night…I think I…like…most of what I’m doing…. I can’t even imagine going out in public without makeup anymore…. Tingle or no tingle… I know that doesn’t really drive my…vanity. And looking good…is vanity. But…a guy doesn’t want to look good…with makeup. So…what does that make me?
I guess none of it matters, anyway…not anymore. I just signed the deal with the Devil…with my own blood. I slit my wrists and let it flow…and happily used to sign the contract. I get product for myself…and for Gem. And along with that…life as a girl…for the rest of the year that is still left on my contract.
That the deal is with the Devil, becomes ever more apparent, when Ginny nearly melts my eyes out with some sort of new drops. I thought “molten lava” was the top of the scale…I was wrong. This was more like “evaporating lava…!” And, then Joyce lets loose a hoard of fire ants…and they bury into my scalp…biting and stinging…and chewing all the way to my brain! It’s all I can do not to scream loud obscenities…at both of them! Not that I didn’t let out a bunch of choice words under my breath. If they heard me…well then…it just serves them right!
All of that was bad enough. I mean…torture seems like it might be a nice vacation compared to what they just put me through. But…then Joyce gleefully informs me, that I should be “ecstatic” about the fact…that my hair and eye colors…are now permanent. As in…here to stay. Forever.
It’s too much for my fragile state of mind. I simply shut down…and everything goes black….
I faintly hear someone calling to me…. It’s like they’re miles away…. But someone familiar is trying to find me in the foggy darkness…calling out to me….
“…antha! Wake up, Hon!”
And I’m suddenly awake again!
I look into Momma’s eyes and can’t help but cry. There’s no holding it back. It’s just all too much. The gravity of what I’ve agreed to, is finally starting to sink in…all the way to the inner depths of my subconscious. It all comes out in huge sobs…and torrents of tears.
She hugs me and coos. “It’s OK, Sweetie. I know…it’s a lot to process. But you did agree to it. It’s too late to change your mind, now. But…something tells me that you really are OK with it. It’s just sinking in…really hitting you….”
It takes a minute for my brain to once again fully begin processing what’s going on…. It all comes back to me…and I feel the paralyzing confusion rise to the surface, again.
Finally, I sigh and bite my lip.
I don’t see the point in fighting it now…any of it…the damage has been done. If I can make it through the rest of the year, then we’ll see what I can do about going back to being plain old “Sam”…and making “Samantha” just go away. Or…maybe she won’t…. I just don’t know….
Greta looks at me and nods resolutely as she senses my resolve…to not quit… Then she smiles. “Oh! Good! You’re coming to your senses! It’s about time! Because, I have news….”
Rhonda
* * * * *
I sigh and furiously chew on my gum. I squirm in my seat. I don’t know what’s happened to me, but my sexual desires have been increasing, over the past weeks. They’re nearly unbearable…it’s like I’m going through puberty all over again…with super-steroids.
And the guys have been after me…thick as thieves! It’s become increasingly more difficult to beat them off…not even with the proverbial “stick!” It’s worst at our after-work “recruiting” events…and the weekly girls’ nights out. My “Goth” look hasn’t deterred any of them, in the least…. For some…it almost seems to be a turn-on. And it’s become increasingly impossible to ignore my off-the-rails ever-rising lust.
I sigh…again. Now it’s time to pull the trigger on Lissa’s new plan. I’m loath to do it. I really don’t want to…but…she’s made it clear that she expects me to follow her orders…and I’ve gotten to the point tht I just don’t fight them…anymore…. So…reluctantly, I dial…Jimmy Rollings’…number.
Jimmy spent a considerable amount of time chasing me…last year…my senior year in school. I was a cheerleader…and he was the starting quarterback...which is somewhat unusual…for a junior.
I had no interest in him. Period. Nada! Not even in the least. I still don’t.
Well, it’s not as much him…as I really didn’t have an interest…in any guy. Now, Stacy…the head cheerleader…she was cute! I let out another deep sigh. It’s not that I had…have…anything against guys. There are some really cute ones. But Jimmy…he’s never been anywhere near the top of my list of potential…datable material…. Actually, he’s never even been on my list. Period. Nada! Not in the least…not even like at the bottom.
But I may as well kill two birds with one stone. I still have no idea why Lissa wants him specifically…in the trial…. Or why she wants him so badly. She just said she would let me in on the rest of the plan…when I have him “hooked and landed.”
He’s pretty much convinced he’s God’s greatest gift to women. But, like most guys, he never had that appeal to me. Even if he is totally buff…and in great shape…and does have a cute butt….
I shake my head hard. Why am I thinking about him like this, all of a sudden? My damned hormones have gone crazy! I force my pulse to slow down and to stop thinking about his butt…but then his tight abs come to mind!
“Hello?” He answers his phone and pulls my thoughts back to the business, at hand.
I steel my resolve…. “Jimmy, Hon!” I say it in a husky voice. “It’s Ronni Brown. How about we finally go out on that date?” Not that I even have to try for “husky”…anymore…it seems to be my new “default.”
Trying not to throw up…I push the bile in my throat back down into my stomach and set up the date with Jimmy. Then I hang up, and sigh. I rub my forehead and grimace, in frustration.
I always thought that I’d be a virgin for my wedding. Whether that be with a guy…or a girl. I’m still not sure, where I’ll wind up…on that little detail. But either way…this was not my plan!
Now Lissa has other ideas…all in the name of her trials…. She is the Devil, incarnate!
I really don’t want to do what she’s demanding of me, but…I have to show her my…loyalty. I shudder and fight the tears that want to form. I have to give up my virginity…to prove my…fealty, to her.
She has made it clear that she can destroy my professional credibility…not just at WG…and I believe her. My career would be over before it even begins. She also has a lot of ties to the academic world…and could make or break my attempts at getting into college…the good ones, at least.
On top of that whole issue, I’ve been getting to the point that…I’m…well…having…undeniable…needs.
I’ve never had issues with popularity, but lately boys have been chasing me…more than usual. It doesn’t seem to matter that I am now completely immersed in this infernal “Goth” mode…another of Lissa’s requirements to prove my fealty. I don’t know why, but it’s like I’m somehow irresistible to them…what that has to do with the look, I don’t know. But the really weird thing is that I can’t deny that…they’ve been looking…good…to me, too. And like I said…that’s just not normal for me.
I check and make sure that my makeup is perfect…and that I look pretty…well, pretty for a “Goth.” I don’t even really notice that I’m doing it…not even the shudder that I still get every time I see my pale face, in the mirror…. I mean, I had quit worrying about my looks, after school…and my cheerleading “career” where I had to be little “Miss Perfect.” Not that my current look would have gone over very well with that crowd.
And…now, the girls at work…especially Dharma and Joyce…have been after me, to play my part as the “bait,” for recruiting. Lissa is fully on-board with that…as a collateral duty to my PA role. But the whole thing has really intensified my…desires. And the boys are really eating it all up…and it seems to encompass the whole table…like there is this radius of desire around me. While mostly I have been fighting the boys off with a stick…the girls have been looking for prospects to sign up for the next trial…whatever that is.
I pop in a fresh piece of gum and chew it frantically. It used to be more…calming…. Now, I just seem to have this irrational need, to chew it…. I groan, as I feel myself flush…and squirm…with a strange anticipation.
Tomorrow evening can’t get here soon enough!
Jimmy
* * * * *
I’m getting ready to go to football practice. School doesn’t start for another two weeks, but Coach has us practicing early…as usual…before classes start. I’m going to be the starting quarterback, again. If I play my cards right, I may get a football scholarship out of it…and go pro.
Not having to take over at the lumberyard, wouldn’t hurt my feelings. Not saying that it wouldn’t break Dad’s heart. But I don’t want to waste my life away at the sawmill, like he did. It’s bad enough, that I’ve had to waste my summers…and weekends…there!
And…well…Dad’s proud of my football progress, too! I think he would be OK with me making a few million in the NFL! Then I could just hire someone to run the mill for me. I grin and shake my head at my own far-fetched dreams.
I’m about to get into my car, when my phone rings. I jump when it goes off, since I rarely get any calls during the day…everyone knows I usually have to work. I look at the caller ID…and nearly drop the phone. It’s Ronni Brown! I didn’t even realize that I have her number in my phone, anymore!
I have no idea why she would be calling me. I had more than just a small crush on her, last year. I was head-over-heels in love. She’s such a babe!
I nearly fumble the phone, when I answer, but catch it…just in time. “Hello?” I sort of blurt it out, like an idiot. I pause…not wanting to say anything stupid…until I know if she just somehow butt-dialed me, or something.
“Jimmy, Hon! It’s Ronni Brown. How about we finally go out on that date?”
My heart beats faster when I hear her breathy voice. And this time…I actually do drop the phone.
“Jimmy? Are you there? Jimmy?” Her voice is coming from the floorboard where my phone landed.
I quickly locate it under my feet and pick it up. “H…H…Hi, Ronni!” I’m stuttering like a nervous idiot! Pull yourself together, Jimmy! “This is a surprise! Yes! I would love to go out on a date, with you! When? Where?”
She takes a deep breath and I hear her smacking on gum and popping it. “Awesome! How about Jackson’s at 7:00, tomorrow night? I’ll meet you there?”
My heart is still beating hard…like a tom-tom! This is really happening! “Sure!” I croak and I have to clear my throat. “That sounds great! I…I…have to run to practice, but I’ll see you at seven o’clock, tomorrow night!”
She makes a kissy sound into the phone and her voice gets even more sultry. “Seven p.m., sharp! Don’t be late!” And she hangs up.
I start the car and am so nervous, I accidentally put it into drive, instead of reverse. I almost drive into the pole in right front of me. I shake my head…to clear out the cobwebs…and put into reverse, then carefully back up. I take a deep breath to steady my shaking hands and wait for my heart to slow down…then take off towards school in a daze.
Coach Reynolds
* * * * *
I watch Rollings throw a deep pass to Brinkley. These two have what it takes, to go the distance! If they can keep from self-destructing…. So many great prospects do, before they get their shot. They let it go to their heads, or get a girl pregnant, or any number of bone-headed things.
I pump my fist in celebration, as Rollings steps out of the pocket, to complete another pass to Brinkley…while avoiding a sack, that would have cost him a loss of twenty yards. He made it look easy!
I shake my head. He’s in perfect shape. He’s a significant triple threat, on the field. So, I don’t get why he’s lost his confidence, off the field. Ever since that cheerleader, Ronni Brown, shot him down last year, he’s just…moped…around. He needs to get over her! But he does seem to have more spring in his step, today…something that he’s been lacking. So, maybe there is hope, after all!
I look at my watch. Six o’clock! I loudly blow my whistle, to signal the end of practice. “Good job, everyone! Now, hustle to those showers!”
All Rights Reserved.
(Cover image designed by Shauna Rousseau & Joyce Melton.)
(Image Sources: Androgynous Man & Football Field
Samantha
* * * * *
I feel completely drained. Things have turned so weird in my life! I shake my head. “I just don’t get it, Faith! I don’t know how I feel about any of this…. Do you think I look…OK? This is the look that WG wants me to…keep….”
I am next door at my best friend Faith’s house. I’ve been spending a lot of time over here, the last couple of weeks. She’s always been a good friend…and was my first “best friend”…despite being a girl. But then Mark took over…especially after she went to Oakwood. Now…I guess she has taken back that role. I still haven’t heard back from Mark…and I have no idea how he will react to any of this. I don’t even know how to begin to explain it to him…I’ve started to put it into an email a million times…with more detail…. But I don’t know how. Besides…he seems too busy to respond anyway.
Today is my “day off” at WG. I never really know what day I’ll get off during the week, since it depends on modeling schedules…and whatever practice schedule they put me on. So, I make the best use of them I can…when I do get them…like catching up with Faith. I came over early…before Claire…I’m still getting used to calling Mrs. Beaumont that…rode into work at WG…with Momma…so we have the place to ourselves.
We typically meet over here. Even when Chad is at work at the lumberyard…and Daddy is at the car dealership…Gem is usually at home…so we have more privacy here.
I look at Faith…who is intently studying my “look.”
She shrugs. “I don’t see any difference. Am I missing something?”
I sigh. “No…there’s no difference in the overall color…it’s what they’ve been making me go with…for weeks now. But…I don’t know if this is…me.”
“So?” She shrugs again. “You can always change it…right? I mean it’s just hair color and some colored contacts. Stop coloring your hair and take out the contacts…when you’re not at work.”
I shake my head. “You don’t get it, Faith. This is my hair color…not dye. And there are no contacts. The products they have me using at WG changed my colors….”
“Really?” She looks dubious. “Even if that is true…then stop using the products….”
“That’s just the thing!” I whine. “Yesterday…they supposedly…somehow…made it…permanent. I have no idea if it’s true, or not…but the way it hurt…I don’t really doubt it. They did…something. I’m losing grip on ‘Sam’…whether I want to, or not!” I fight the tears that want to start pouring down my face.
Faith looks stunned. “Can that even be true? That sounds like some sort of bullshit science fiction stuff. Changing the color of your hair and eyes? I don’t know….”
I shrug. “There’s all kind of weird stuff that goes on in Lissa’s labs.”
“Lissa?” She looks confused.
“Dr. Melissa Greene. She’s the Director of R&D.” I forget that Faith doesn’t know everyone there…like her mother. “I think she may actually be the Devil!”
She giggles.
I don’t.
“Wait! You’re serious? Is she really that bad?” She looks concerned.
I nod. “Don’t say anything to your momma…but that woman is evil. The others kind of go along…I think they’re scared of her. I know I am! Terrified, actually!”
“But she didn’t…turn you into…“Samantha”…. Wasn’t that…Joyce…? Isn’t that her name?” She screws up her face as she tries to remember the name.
I shrug. “Well…Joyce, Dharma, and Greta have all played a part in that…. But Lissa is the one that talked Momma into signing up for the modeling thing…to begin with. Then that convinced Momma to sign me up for the trial…with the modeling modification. So…somehow…it all goes back to Lissa. After they started me actually modeling…then Adam Ansel got involved… I don’t know how much Lissa had to do with that….” I shudder as I remember the last thing that Greta told me, yesterday.
“Sam? What’s wrong?” Faith is just about the only one, anymore, that will call me “Sam.” But not because she sees me as my “old” self…it’s just a shortened version of “Samantha” to her.
Daddy is the only one that seems to hold onto “Sam” as a shortened version of “Samuel.”
I feel sick. “I have to go out on another date with Gerome…on Friday….”
Faith
* * * * *
I’m not sure what to make of Sam’s story. She’s…once again…become my best friend. We used to be best friends before I had to go to stupid Oakwood…not that I ever wanted to go to private school. But it was really easy to settle back in with her…and I can relate even better to her better…that she’s…well…a girl. There’s no doubt in my mind…and my heart…that she is. I blush at that thought…and quickly put it aside. Anyway…I know she still doubts her status as a girl. I also wish there was some way to get her into school with me…or to convince Mumma to let me go back to “regular” school.
Then she brings up an upcoming date with Gerome. He’s not a bad guy…not really. I don’t really get her hang-up with him. Well…I mean I wouldn’t want to date him, either…but I don’t want to date any…guy. I once again put that thought aside. I need to support my best friend…I mean I do understand her hang-up…with dating guys. But…I can’t let her…anyone know that.
“What do you have against Gerome, Hon? I think he was kind of sweet at the Country Club the other day. I mean…I guess I get you’re still confused about your sexuality…but give him a chance. It would be different if you knew you weren’t into guys….” If only…but she needs to be sure….
She shakes her. “Other guys…. Despite what everyone keeps saying…I’m not a girl.”
“Are you sure about that, Sam? I give her a pointed and very doubtful look. “I don’t see a guy sitting in my room.” I giggle. “As a matter of fact…there better not be a guy sitting in my room. I’m not allowed to have guys in my room…especially when Mumma’s not home!”
She makes a sour face. “You know what I mean, Faith! Besides…they’re pushing me to date him. It’s like an arranged marriage! How would you like that?”
“I suppose I wouldn’t be happy with that either.” I sigh. “But what I know of Gerome…he seems nice enough. He’s always polite at the Country Club. Trust me…there are some real slimeball members there! And…he seems pretty…OK…at school. Of course, I don’t have a lot of contact with him there…only during breaks and over lunch….”
She shrugs. “Yeah…I know…he hasn’t been…terrible…. I just…lost control…last time…. I wanted to do things…things I shouldn’t…want to.”
I shrug…not really shocked…but disappointed. “You make my point. You wouldn’t want those things…if you weren’t at least open to the idea of liking a guy.”
She shudders and abruptly changes the topic. “I don’t want to think about it…not right now. I just wish you were back in school with me. I’m going to miss having you around for moral support!”
I smile. “It’s not like I’m going anywhere. I am just next door! But…I do wish we were back in school together, too.”
“What’s it like…there? Is it as snooty as I imagine?” She grins. “You just don’t fit the mold of who I picture going there!”
I shrug. “Yeah…it’s pretty much what you would expect an old-fashioned private prep school to be like. It started out as an all-girls school…but turned co-ed right before the turn of the century. Even so…us girls are still segregated from the boys in class. At least they are loosening up some on the girls. It used to be a ‘finishing school’ and taught girls to be ‘perfect ladies.’ There still is that ‘traditional’ track…but most girls are in the more contemporary college prep track. Surprisingly…there are still an astonishing number of girls in the finishing…or ‘traditional’ track…mostly girls from rich families…that come in from all around and board there. I guess there aren’t that many schools left that offer such an ‘opportunity’….”
She screws up her face. “What do they have to do? It sounds misogynistic.”
“No…” I sigh. “There’s no hatred of women…at least not systemically. It’s just pure old-fashioned sexism. It’s totally weighted toward home ec, deportment, and other…‘feminine’ things…even ballet. There’s enough of the basic stuff sprinkled in to have the credits to graduate…and get into a good college…. But only as long as it’s for something that’s in a ‘woman’s’ realm…. Girls from that track would really struggle academically to catch up in…say medicine…or another ‘male’ realm.”
She has a sour look on her face. “That sounds…oppressive! And…a lot like the crap that Joyce and Dharma have been drilling into my brain. It wouldn’t surprise me if they went there!”
I shrug. “Yeah…. And that’s only underscored by their uniforms…. You’ve seen mine…what you would expect…a boring pleated, beige tartan skirt, white blouse, green blazer, and black Mary Janes. Theirs is also a tartan skirt… but in mauve, lavender, and periwinkle…and made of the finest silk…plus it’s an extremely tight knee-length pencil skirt. They have silk blazers…also mauve…and matching five-inch suede stilettos. Their silk blouses are a pale lavender. I mean…it’s pretty…but I’d break my neck in that skirt and those heels!” I look at the designer clothes and the shoes she’s wearing and giggle. “You…on the other hand…wouldn’t have an issue!”
She sticks out her tongue at me and gives me a raspberry. “I guess I can be thankful that we’re poor! There’s no way I would want to go there! I feel sorry for you, Hon!”
Chad
* * * * *
I get into my car and shake my head. I just met up with Alice at the Quick Stop. It’s the first time we could hook up for days…. And her first question to me is if I can have Samantha show her how she did her makeup the other night at the Country Club. I guess she saw her there when she went with Claire and Faith Beaumont. Alice’s family has a membership….
It’s just weird…Alice is a varsity high-school cheerleader and drop-dead gorgeous…and she wants makeup advice from my…former brother…. Of course, that was a whole other discussion…explaining “Samantha” to her…. I hope Samantha is OK with being transgender…it’s all I could come up with…I mean it has to be true…right? How else do you explain it?
I pull into “my” parking spot at the lumberyard. I park way out…where no one ever parks…but me. I don’t want any fucking door dings!
“Chad! What’s up, Bro?” Jimmy cheerfully greets me. Something’s up! He’s in too good a mood…this close to school starting. But it is our last school year…so maybe that’s it. I didn’t get a chance to talk to him after football practice yesterday…but come to think of it…he seemed in a good mood there, too. Yeah…it must be senioritis!
“Hey, Jimmy! Wanna go over to Fred’s after practice?” There’s just not a lot of time to hang out before school anymore. “Alice and I are going…. I mean…I know you’re not currently serious with anyone…but maybe LuLu would want to hang….”
He shakes his head…but grins wide enough that I think his mouth is going to split. “I can’t! I have a date, Bro! I’m in love!”
I haven’t seen him this goofy since his failed attempts at seducing Ronni Brown.
“You’ll never guess who called and asked me out!” It doesn’t seem possible…but his grin gets even wider!
I shrug. “Ronni Brown?” Of course, I’m just fucking with him.
He seems shocked…but then nods dreamily. “Wow! Fucking good guess! We’re going to Jackson’s after practice. I nearly passed out when she called!”
I shake my head in my own shock. But something’s not right…. She didn’t want anything to do with him, last year. But…I guess everyone has the right to change their mind. I just never would have thought that Ronni would…not on this. “Well…congrats, Bro! After you get the whole first date thing out of the way…we can go out on a double.”
He fist bumps me…and we go our separate ways to get to work…. We both have a lot to do, since we have to leave early for football practice.
Gemma
* * * * *
I shudder as I finish up in the shower. The tingle isn’t anything like it was…but I’ll fix that with the other products…that I’m now officially allowed to use…. The creams and lotions will certainly give me the tingle I want. I smile…and I can always get a piece of gum…that always helps!
I finish drying off, then take the towel off my head to start drying my hair. I comb though it with my fingers, as I blow it dry…and startle. Something doesn’t look right…it must be the steam doing something to my reflection in the mirror. I point the dryer at the mirror to clear off the fog and inspect my hair more closely in the mirror…. I drop the dryer in shocked dismay…and shriek…loudly! The roots…about half-an-inch of them…are not my normal blond…they’re neon pink!
“Sis!” Fuck…fuck…fuck! I pause to make sure I didn’t say that out loud…then shriek again. “Samantha!”
“What is it, Gem? Claire is going to be here any minute and we’ll need to leave right after that. Your sister has already gone over to talk to Faith.” Momma pokes her head in my bedroom door, but doesn’t come into the bathroom.
I yell out to her. “Nothing, Momma! I just have a question for Sis. I’ll ask her later.” Thankfully, my long hair…mostly hides the pink…when it’s brushed out…and hanging down. I have to figure out something…and quick. I think furiously…and remember that can of spray-on hair chalk that I got for last Halloween. It’s pink…and I still have half a can. I quickly get it and spray it into hair…and brush it out into streaks… It does a good job camouflaging the roots.
Lilly’s mom is picking me up in thirty minutes…and we’re going to the mall…. Lilly has been my best friend…forever…and she’s really jealous about my WG gig. She’s working on her parents…well her momma…to let her sign up, too. Anyway…Lilly just called me and surprised me…and so I won’t have a chance to talk to Sis before tomorrow, since she’s going with Claire to the movies this evening…. And I definitely want to talk to her…before I go to Momma with this. This totally sucks! WTF? I shudder and finish getting ready.
Julia
* * * * *
“Good morning, Claire! I’ll be ready in a sec! Do you want a coffee to go? The pot is fresh…Samantha got hers…and took it with her over to your house and Gary has his, too…so there’s plenty.” I finish putting on my heels and check my hair in the hall mirror.
Claire pours herself a coffee in one of the spare travel mugs and adds some sugar and creamer.
I sigh…I hate it when people mess with perfectly good coffee…like Gary…otherwise we wouldn’t even have creamer!
“Thanks, Hon! I was running a little late…and didn’t have time. I was going to ask if you stop to get one on the way…but this is much better!”
I nod and we get in the car. I fight the urge to light a cigarette and take a sip of coffee instead. I really don’t want to smoke in the car. “I’m glad to get out of the house…it’s a madhouse! Gem just started on the new WunderTeen products…and is going to Samantha for advice on things. I would be upset…but it’s kind of cute. I’m glad they’re bonding…I think it’s good for Samantha.”
Claire nods. “I agree. It’s cute. But tell me about WunderTeen. I haven’t heard of it.”
I shrug. “I don’t know much, either. It’s a new line that WG is testing…for young teens. Lissa’s involved…somehow…which worries me…. But Greta says it’s legitimate…and safe. At least there’s no real contract involved…Gem gets the product…and tries to sign up more friends to help promote it. If she signs up two people, then the product is free…or she stays on to promote it for a year. Otherwise, she has to pay for the product…which can’t be that much…it’s just the typical body, skin, and hair care products…and a line of makeup.”
“Sounds like a teenage heaven! Not only getting to wear makeup at that age…but promote it, too!” She giggles.
“I though so, too. I was going to let her start wearing it next week on her birthday, anyway…and this way we get free product! Win-win, in my book!” I giggle back…and pull into my parking spot. “Well…here we go! Another wonderful day ahead of us! I actually love my job, now!”
Claire squeezes my arm. “Me, too! I’m so glad it worked out so well…for both of us!”
I look at the clock on the dash and nod…with a grin. “I’ll see you later! We better run!”
Jimmy
* * * * *
Practice is finally over! This day has just crept by…in anticipation of what is coming this evening. My heart still beats a hundred miles an hour, whenever I just think about it!
I hurry to the locker room and shower off. I swiftly rid myself of my sweat and grime…and hurriedly towel off. Then I run to my car and jump in. After a quick drive home, I bound to my room and get dressed in “nice” clothes. Jackson’s isn’t the absolute fanciest restaurant, in town…but it’s way up there.
Then it hits me…. “Oh, fuck! The bill…!” I can’t help but swear out loud…something I’ve been doing more of lately…to my parents chagrin. No matter…I go downstairs to hit Dad up for some cash. What else am I supposed to do? It’s not like he really pays me for working at the mill. It’s all supposedly going to my “college fund.” The little bit he does give me is a pittance…nowhere near enough for the likes of Jackson’s! I have no idea how he will react….
Thankfully…when he hears that it’s for my “dream girl”…he simply forks over a hundred-dollar bill and grins! He doesn’t say a word….but he does wink.
I smile back at him. “Thanks, Dad!” I take the bill and pocket it. “I’ll pay you back! Or take it out of…something…. No time to chat…I’ve gotta run! I don’t wanna be late! This is so f…ummm…awesome!”
I hurry back to my car and drive the short distance to the restaurant. I’m so nervous when I get out that I’m sweating. I do my best to settle down…and walk semi-calmly into the restaurant. I don’t want to stink…or be all sweaty!
“Good evening, sir?” The hostess is a cute little Asian girl, who is smiling a little too much to not be fake. “May I get you a table? Do you have a reservation?”
I nearly choke. “I…well…ummm…I mean…. Well…I’m meeting someone. But I don’t know whether she’s here? I don’t…think we have a reservation.” My heart is pumping hard in my chest…like after running for a touchdown and evading a huge tackle, in the process.
“What’s her name?” She keeps smiling…but looks a little…aloof. “Maybe she’s here…?”
I sigh. “Ronni…Rhonda Brown?” I can’t help but shrug in impending defeat. Throwing a touchdown is a million times easier than this…even out of the pocket and under pressure!
She looks at her pad. “No…no reservation under that name. And she must not be here, yet…. Normally, I shouldn’t…since your party is not complete…but we’re not terribly busy tonight…. So…I can seat you…and let her know you’re here, when she arrives? I would just need your name….”
I jerk. “Yes! Thanks! Jimmy Rollings! Do you have something…intimate?”
She giggles. “So…it is you! I’m just a sophomore…and not a cheerleader…so you probably don’t recognize me…. Anyway…only the best for our special quarterback! Follow me…Mr. Rollings.”
She takes me to a secluded table…set up for two. “Thanks…?”
“Kameko…but everyone calls me ‘Kim.’” She smiles…genuinely, this time.
“Thanks, Kim. This is perfect!” I sit and take a nervous sip of the ice water she pours into my glass, from a nearby pitcher.
She places our menus on the table and gives me one of those fawning looks the younger girls always give me at school…then she goes back to the front.
After what seems like an hour, I check my watch…but it’s only been a couple of minutes. It’s 7:00, on the dot.
I look up and see Kim coming towards me…with a Goth Goddess. I’m not usually into that type of girl, but this one is…exquisite. I shake my head…I’m here for Ronni…. Then, I recognize her…and sharply inhale. I actually hear myself hiss.
“Jimmy! Hon! It’s so great to see you!” She comes over and gives me a hug and a kiss…on my cheek…but sort of brushes my lips in the process. I’m not sure if it was by accident…or not….
“Ronni? Wha…?” I get a whiff of her perfume…and…and her…aroma. And instantly get hard. My heart is about to pound its way completely out of my chest!
She giggles. “I wanted to rebrand myself…. Being labeled as a cheerleader, was just so…boring. What do you think?” She twirls.
I can’t take my eyes off of her.
She looks like a luscious vampiress.
“You’re…beautiful!” I don’t add that she’s an absolute wet-dream!
She smiles with lips that are so dark red that they’re nearly black. Her deathly pale skin and raven black hair just emphasize the beauty of her smile. The shiny hoops in her lower lip are gleaming…and I’m ready for those “fangs” to sink into my neck…any time she wants them to!
I’m hopelessly in love…once again!
Rhonda
* * * * *
I follow the girl, Kameko…no…Kim, into the restaurant. I remember her from school…she’s cute! Much cuter, than my current…prospect. I sigh…and resign myself to my fate. But I can’t help wonder if I might be able to sneak her number? She’s not that much younger than me.
I see Jimmy sitting at a secluded table, just large enough for two. It’s a romantic spot. And he has no clue that I am…well…me. Of course, he wouldn’t be expecting a girl in all her Goth glory…especially not…me.
Then, his eyes suddenly light up. It seems he finally recognizes me and quickly stands up. After the initial awkwardness, he shakes his head. “Ronni? Wow! Look at you! You’re…stunning!”
I can’t help but blush…although, I have no idea what his definition of “stunning” even looks like. My appearance is certainly not my definition of anything even remotely close to that…not with my bleached-out complexion. I go give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I honestly want to barf as I gently…but purposely…brush his lips on the way to his cheek. “Hi, Jimmy! It’s about time we got together!” Of course, I’m lying through my teeth. “It just would have been so…cliché, in school. But we’re past that awkwardness, now!” I break the hug…and nearly choke on my…feelings…and force a smile as I step back. He smells…delicious…and my nipples are hardening.
He pulls out my chair…obviously playing the gentleman.
I sit and “coyly” smile at him, over my shoulder, as he pushes my chair in. And I can’t help but notice that he has a very large…tent, himself.
He quickly walks around the table and takes a seat. “I’m really glad you decided to give me a chance, Ronni! I was…crushed…when you wouldn’t give me the time of day, last year. Not that I thought I was anything special…but you certainly are!”
I choke on my water.
Thankfully, I’m saved by our waitress. “Hi! I’m Jenna, and I’ll be serving you, tonight. Can I get you anything to drink…besides water?” She smiles and refills my water glass.
“Iced tea, please….” I nod. “Unsweetened.”
Jimmy shrugs. “I’ll have the same….”
Jenna nods and quickly leaves to get our drinks while we look at the menus.
The rest of the dinner is pretty mundane. We catch up, which is really boring…. I mean, he’s a high school quarterback…and he works at the lumberyard. So, nothing’s changed…or become any more interesting, in his life. What was I expecting?
I give him a little background on working at WG…but not too much…. I still need to reel him in…and a little mystery is good…to help get him hooked.
I’m thankful when we finally finish dessert…signaling an end to this part of my ordeal. Although…a part of me doesn’t want it to end…because now we go on…to the next.
He quickly pays the bill…without flinching at the cost. To be honest, I wasn’t sure he would have the funds.
“This was lovely, Jimmy! Now…why don’t we go somewhere, more private…for a little…alone time?” I wink seductively. But I really want to puke!
Lissa is pimping me out! She knows that Jimmy just turned eighteen. He was in the “late starter” group in school because of his birthday.
I’m still seventeen…I was in the “early group” and on top of that, I graduated early…when I was just sixteen. I pop in a piece of gum and chew it frantically, hoping with all my might that he’ll refuse. If he doesn’t…he’ll be committing a crime, tonight. And…I technically will no longer be able to wear a white wedding gown. But the more I chew, the more I want him…not to refuse. I curse…whatever…this lust is!
“Are you sure? That sounds great, Ronni! There’s a really great spot at the lumberyard…” He smiles…and is nearly drooling.
I shake my head. “I have my own private apartment above my parent’s garage. Just follow me in your car….”
Mr. Rollings
* * * * *
I sit back and relax. Days are always longer when school starts…and leading up to it…when football practice starts again. I’ve come to rely on Jimmie at the yard. I know he will likely get a football scholarship to college…then…hopefully come back and help run the business…and ultimately take it over.
I guess there always is a chance he could go pro…but I don’t really think it’s very likely. According to Coach Reynolds…he’s good…really good! But slots for professional quarterbacks are hard to come by…and he doesn’t have the physical…constitution…to really take another position. He’s in really good shape…but wiry…not beefy. And he’s not a receiver…like Chad…. He’s definitely not a blocker…or anything…that requires bulk. I mean…I suppose he could bulk up…but I don’t think that’s the type of position he’s looking for…and even bulked up…he’s just not a hulk. No…he’ll be back!
I smile at Martha, my beautiful wife of thirty-five years, as she puts down my plate with dinner on it. It smells wonderful…and I’m starving! “Where’s Jimmie? Isn’t he eating with us?”
She shakes her head. “No…he has a big date, tonight….”
Before she can say another word, he comes bounding down the steps…and asks me for money to take his girl to Jackson’s. That surprises me…not that he asks for money…but where he plans on taking her. He’s never asked for anything like this…and he impresses the fact on me that this is the date. His “dream girl.” I remember taking Martha on our first…and very important…date. It was life-changing.
I just wink and hand him a Franklin.
When he rushes back upstairs, Martha just giggles. “It’s Ronni Brown…she asked him…finally! After all that mooning last year…it looks like she’s giving him a chance.”
“Well…it’s about time! I hope it works out for him! The last time I saw her…it’s been a while…she was still really cute. She would be quite the catch.” I smile at her and tuck in.
Gary
* * * * *
I sit on my lounger and light my cigar. I puff on it and pour a glass of good whiskey…neat. I lean back, blow out a cloud of blue smoke, and peer through it at the pile of unopened mail on my lap.
One of the envelopes looks interesting…. I open it and nearly choke on my smoke.
“Jules! Come here! Do you know anything about this?” I reread the letter.
Jules comes out and sits next to me. “What are talking about? Know what?”
I shrug and flash the letter at her. “We’ve been invited to join the Country Club…and our family’s lifetime membership has already been paid for!”
She shakes her head. “I have no idea…. Claire is a member…I can ask her if she knows anything. I’ll talk to her about it in the morning.”
I nod…completely taken off-guard. But I’m not looking a gift-horse in the mouth! I’ve been drooling to get back out on the links…. I used to play all the time…before…well…family happened. But…maybe it’s time to get back out there…the fresh air would do me good…and maybe take my mind off of some of the…weirdness…going on in the family.
I just have no idea where this could have come from! Maybe a happy customer…that really likes their car…?
I shrug and happily continue puffing on my cigar.
Roger
* * * * *
I’m worried about Ronni…she’s my only daughter…well…my only child! I don’t know what’s gotten into her…with this whole…Goth…thing. Belinda went ballistic! But…even though Ronni’s only seventeen…and living in the apartment over our garage…she is practically a genius…. She could have graduated even earlier…but we discouraged it…the same as going to college early. She has a fulltime…paying job…and with all of that she is technically on her own.
The problem is…the job she has. It’s well beneath her potential. Being a glorified secretary is not the type of job that she deserves…or will keep her satisfied for long. I understand it’s good for her resume…but I don’t understand why she thinks that she needs it to help get into college…not with her grades. I just don’t trust this Dr. Greene…or Lissa…as she likes to be called…she may be a genius, too…but I’m not sure she’s the best role-model for my daughter. I’m not sure I buy that it was completely her that made Ronni take on her current…appearance…or that it’s somehow permanent, as Ronni claims. But…I do buy that she somehow influenced it…at the very least.
So…I finally bit the bullet and will start working for WG, on Monday…as a corporate lawyer. It’s not something that I had planned…but they’ve been courting me for several weeks now…enough so, that I’ve been letting my clients know there could be a potential conflict of interest. At least, this way, I can keep an eye on Ronni “from the inside.”
I just hope I’m not too late.
All Rights Reserved.
(Cover image designed by Shauna Rousseau & Joyce Melton.)
(Image Sources: Androgynous Man & Football Field
Rhonda
* * * * *
I wake up with a jerk from the most bizarre dream. Or was it a nightmare? My mind is still foggy with sleep…but I dreamt that I had slept with Jimmy Rollings. It was both wonderful and disgusting….
Then I move my legs and feel the slight discomfort between them…and come fully awake…only to realize that it wasn’t a dream….that my living nightmare actually started last night. I don’t even really remember Jimmy leaving. I was in such…euphoria…and caught up in the lingering ecstatic feelings he had given me…at least for that moment. It’s certainly not how I would describe my feelings now! But…then again…it did feel good…really good.
I shudder and get up to take a shower. Maybe I can scrub the “disgust” off…and just be left with the “euphoria.” After the water turns steamy hot, I step into its welcoming warmth. I scrub myself…hard…then even harder. But it doesn’t help…the memories of last night…all of them…are indelibly imprinted on my mind…
After our dinner at Jackson’s, he followed me home…in his car. One of the perks of having good grades and graduating early…plus getting the job at WG…is that my parents let me move into the studio apartment…above the garage. It’s completely separated from the house, since it was originally meant to be rented out. Well…that’s what the former owners of the house intended. It sat empty for years…only occasionally used by us…as a guest room. Until now…now it is “home.” It has its own entrance…and it couldn’t work out more perfectly for me. It gives me privacy…but I still technically live at home. That solves the whole legal issue of me still being underage…but allows me to be semi “on my own.” Sometimes it pays to have a lawyer for a daddy…although…that can have its downsides, too!
Of course, my parents would never condone what happened last night…. When we got here, Jimmy parked around the corner and followed me up the outside stairs to my apartment. By then, I was no longer able to control myself…and neither was he. I still don’t know what has gotten into me, of late.
I shudder at the memory of the things we did. Thankfully, the apartment is well sound-proofed…since we were quite loud. The feelings he invoked in me…and my body’s responses…were wonderful...in the heat of that moment. And even if he is a guy. But my emotions…in the aftermath…were ones of pure disgust. I’m no longer a virgin…and it was not by my choice. Not that I blame Jimmy for that…that’s Lissa’s doings…. But that doesn’t help me…or Jimmy. We’re both screwed.
I sigh and turn off the water and wrap myself in a towel. I still feel dirty…both from what I did last night…and what I have to do today. I suppose I could talk to Daddy…but…I want to handle this on my own…I’m a big girl...and I need to start acting like one.
I quickly get dressed and do my makeup, then take my daily vitamins and birth control pill. I had no idea when Momma made me get on the pill…last year…that I would actually need it…. I just assumed that any sex I would have would be with another girl…but being on it has helped my complexion, so I’ve religiously taken my daily regimen of them…along with various vitamins and other supplements. Now…it was my saving grace. The last thing I need is to get pregnant! I shudder at the thought.
I take a deep breath and decide to grab a coffee and bagel on the way to work…instead of having my usual breakfast with Momma. I just can’t face her this morning. I feel crappy enough about what happened last night…and I don’t want to get into it again with her, on the whole “Goth” thing. It’s become a morning ritual to argue about it. She just doesn’t buy that Lissa insisted on it…or that it’s permanent….
I sigh and grab my purse. I need to get on the road…my meeting with Lissa…and Jimmy…is in an hour. I pop in a piece of my gum and lock the door behind me. I close my eyes and shudder…I’ll wash my sheets later. Once I’m in the car, I call Jimmy.
“Good morning, Ronni!” He answers on the first ring. “I still can’t believe last night! It was great! Do you want to get together again…tonight?”
I sigh. “Actually, I was hoping you could meet me at work…in say…an hour. My boss has this weird thing about meeting her employee’s family and…significant others.” I put more “husky” in my voice. “After last night…I think you qualify. Don’t you?” I fake a girly giggle.
He’s quiet for a minute. “You mean…we’re a real item? Sure! I can be there!”
“Meet me at the front entrance at 7:50 and we can walk to her office together.” I make a kissy sound and hang up. I groan…I want to puke!
Melissa
* * * * *
I open the envelope and pull out the stack of official-looking papers. I shuffle through them and giggle…maybe just a bit maniacally. My “Samantha” problems are solved…my contact came through! All the paperwork to officially identify her as transgender is in my hand. I put the papers back into the envelope and put it in my top drawer. I take out the documents for my next meeting before closing and locking it. My contact helped modify the standard contract, as well. I scan back through the modified contract, then send Julia and Claire a message to come over to my office at ten o’clock.
I’ve just refilled my coffee when there is a knock on the door, and I grin in anticipation of what is to come.
Ronni comes in with my newest guinea pig. She has a sour look on her face, so I know she did my bidding.
I don’t care about her feelings…I know she had to have enjoyed it…whether she wanted to, or not. Her special gum wouldn’t allow her not to. And she’s happily chewing on more….
Our guinea pig certainly looks smug. I’m assuming the reason for that is Ronni gave him the cover story we “agreed” on.
I motion for Ronni to close the door behind them and smile brightly. “Well, hello there! I assume this is our newest guinea pig. Jimmy, right?”
He gets a confused look on his face.
“Yes, Lissa.” Ronni nods. “Jimmy…meet Lissa. My boss.”
He still looks confused. “Hello…Lissa? Ummm…Ronni said you would want to meet me…since we’re an item….”
I actually laugh. “An item? That’s an interesting way to put it. But…I suppose it would be accurate…based on what I know. At any rate, I have a responsibility to look out for my P.A.! So…an item…. Hmmm…. Tell me, Jimmy. Just how old are you?”
“Umm…well…I just turned eighteen. Why?” He obviously still doesn’t get it.
I suppose he really doesn’t have a reason to…and nod. “Ronni tells me that you and she slept together last night…as in…had sex. Is that right? Was it good?” I laugh at his face. “Oh…come on, Jimmy! We’re adults here, right? We can talk about stuff like this! Was Ronni any good?” I ignore the look of disgust on her face.
Jimmy grins. “She was awesome…but I still don’t get….”
I break in. “You do know how old Ronni is? Tell me you do, Jimmy.” I smile menacingly.
He shakes his head and looks at Ronni…more confused than ever. “I…I….”
“I’m seventeen.” She shrugs.
I nod. “Seventeen. Have you heard of statutory rape, Jimmy? It’s when someone ‘of age’…an adult…has sex with someone that’s ‘underage.’ A minor. It doesn’t matter if it’s consensual, or not. It’s illegal. Very illegal.” I tap a fingernail on my desk.
He pales. “But…but…but…” He looks at Ronni. “You set me up?” He looks like a whipped puppy.
She shakes her head. “I….”
“Whine…whine…whine….” I break in. “Ronni called to let me know that she was bringing you by…and why. She was excited. You know…since you two are now ‘an item.’ Now, let’s get to the meat of this matter. Jimmy, you broke the law…and I can’t just ignore that.” I nod at the camera recording the session. “And…you just admitted to it on camera. Just to be clear…Ronni’s motives for hooking up with you are completely beside the point. You like her, right? She likes you. Like you said…you’re an item. And I’m happy for you both….” I give Ronni a pointed look. “I’m sure you’ll continue to be a very happy couple. Yada…yada…yada….” I look back at Jimmy. “But you still broke the law…and I have to look out for my employees. We’re a very close-knit family around here.”
I sit back and pretend to mull it over. I want to laugh at his discomfort. “Now…I could be convinced to handle this differently…if you also become an employee…like Ronni….part of the ‘family.’ Then I could handle this as an…internal matter…between two employees.”
I’m pretty sure he’s not smart enough to know that’s totally illegal, in and of itself. Just because it’s “internal” doesn’t mitigate the crime he actually committed…. And…with their close proximity in age…it’s unlikely he would get much of a sentence…although…with her father…I’m sure he would get convicted. Anyway…I’m counting on his ignorance. Once I get my hooks into him, it won’t matter….
He looks dumbfounded. “I don’t get it. You want me as an employee? Doing what? Sweeping the floor? This is a cosmetics company…and I’m no Sam Brinkley!”
I smile dangerously. “Well…you can either tone it down…or I can call the police, right now!”
He pales.
“Now…. Let’s be clear, Samantha signed a contract to be a model with WG…as a WunderGirl. You would not be expected to do that. I don’t see you as WunderGirl material. But just to be sure…you’re not transgender…like her, right?” I feign embarrassment. “Oops! Damn! I shouldn’t have said that. Please keep it to yourself…it’s not widely known.” Of course, I fully expect them both to spread my “slip-up.” I need to cement Samantha’s “status.” I pretend to sigh. “Anyway…she has her reasons for being who she is…and doing what she does.”
I pause briefly to let it all sink in. “If you sign up for the trials…you will be contractually required to test certain body care products…like Samantha…but not as a WunderGirl.”
He shakes his head. “This is crazy!”
“Well…you can take your chances with the law. I think you should expect around fifteen years in prison…something like a hundred thousand dollar fine…and mandatory lifelong registration as a sex offender. You can kiss any kind of college goodbye. Or…you can sign up to test a few products…designed specifically for you.” I shrug. “It’s completely up to you….” I know those are the maximums…and like I said…he likely wouldn’t get the maximum. But he doesn’t know that.
He looks over at Ronni.
She knows to play along with this…like a good girl…and a supportive girlfriend. “Look, Hon. I don’t blame you…. I didn’t know about this…legality…either! But Lissa’s right…you need some protection…. This can give it to you…to us.” She looks like she’s going to throw up. Luckily…that can just be attributed to her normal Goth look…even though I know better.
He sighs and nods…then he looks at me. “Where do I sign? It’s only for body care products, right? And you won’t turn me in?”
I pull out the documents and don’t answer his questions. “Here’s the contract. Just sign here, here, here…and here. We’ll backdate it to yesterday…no one will ever know. That way you were an ‘employee’ when it happened….”
He signs everything…without even pretending to read it. At least the Brinkleys sort of knew what they were signing. This idiot just signed. Well…blackmailing an ignorant kid does have its perks, I guess!
I take the contract and put it in an envelope. “Ronni. Be a dear and take this over to HR for them to process. You can bring his copies of the contract back with you…then the two of you can go celebrate…however you want.” I wink. I know that gum has to be working on her. “In the meantime, I’ll take care of our first WunderBoy.”
Ronni takes the envelope…giving me a totally pissed off look…and quickly leaves….
Jimmy looks at me in confusion. “Wonder boy? What do you mean?”
“Well…” I shrug. “The contract you signed includes the standard WG marketing clause…. Well…almost standard. It is standard in that it says that you can be pulled in to help market our products…. But…since I assumed you didn’t want to market the WunderGirl. products…I asked for it to be modified to specify WunderBoy. products. Don’t worry…that product line doesn’t actually exist…but you’ll be first up to market it…when it does. I had the modification made for male participants after signing Samantha up…when it became clear to me…back then…that it would be an issue for a real man.”
He looks visibly shaken.
“I tell you what….” I give him something akin to an encouraging smile. “Let me take you over to see Ginny. She can explain your test products to you. I’ll send Ronni over there to pick you up when she gets back from HR.”
And this time…I know the psych test he’ll be given is valid.
Julia
* * * * *
I get Lissa’s message to meet her at 10:00. I’m instantly nervous…then I see that Claire is included on the email. That quickly settles my nerves. There’s only one reason that Lissa would want to see both me and my next-door neighbor, slash WG finance supervisor, slash best friend. It must have to do with Samantha and the Ansel Award.
Claire and I were just talking on the drive in about the strange invitation to the Country Club…and she let me know that it likely came from Adam Ansel. She also let me know after our initial discussion on the award that Lissa was working on getting the paperwork in order….
That alone is enough to scare the bejeebers out of me…knowing that Lissa is even involved. She is a snake…and a venomous one, at that.
I’m still not sure how I feel about the whole award idea. I’m especially not sure how I feel about it…with this whole membership thing…it just seems…off. I know that Adam wants Samantha to get the award…and Claire has moved mountains to make it happen. But…it means declaring that Sam is transgender…and basically forging documents to prove it. Knowing Lissa…the documents will be in order...but at what cost? And what does Adam get out of it?
Then…there is the bigger issue…Samantha has no idea…nor does Gary…about the award. And how do I explain the membership? But…for Samantha to have the opportunity to go to Oakwood…even if just for a year…is too good to pass up. So…she’s going to get a surprise later today…when Claire announces the winner. And…I guess we can celebrate at the Country Club.
I shake my head…at least that’s what I think the meeting is about. It’s all I can think of. I guess I’ll know for sure…in about an hour. I go outside to take a smoke break, in the meantime…and am surprised to find Claire already in the Smoker’s Corner.
“Hi, Claire. Ummmm…this is the second time you’ve been out here this week…. Is it becoming a habit again? I know how that is….” I grimace.
She nervously laughs. “God! I hope not! That’s the last thing I need…but Lissa sent a message to meet her…. Well…you’re on it, too. That woman scares me!” She inhales deeply on her cigarette and rolls her eyes.
I nod. “I assume it may be about the Ansel Award? I’m still not sure how I feel about that…especially after you told me Adam likely paid for our Country Club membership.” I light my cigarette and blow out a cloud of smoke. “Samantha still doesn’t know about the award…or its implications…nor does Gary.”
She shrugs. “Look. It’s a great opportunity. We can all go to the Country Club together. Gary can play some golf with Adam. And Samantha can go to school with Faith…and sidestep a lot of questions that she would have to deal with at the public school. Sure…she has to ‘admit’ to being transgender…but I’m not so sure she isn’t. Are you?”
I sigh. “No…. I don’t really know what to think anymore….”
She grabs my hand. “It’ll be OK, Jules. Samantha will love Oakwood.” She takes one final drag and stubs out her cigarette. “We just have to survive our meeting with Lissa. I’ll meet you there at 10:00!”
I nod as she leaves me alone. I finish my cigarette and light another. I will be glad when this is all over….
Claire
* * * * *
I meet Jules outside Lissa’s door at 9:58 and we go in together.
Lissa looks up from the pile of papers on her desk and motions for us to sit. “Hi, girls. My contact came through.” She pulls a manilla envelope out of her top drawer and hands it to Jules. “These are the papers you will need for Oakwood…and anyone else that needs ‘proof’ that Samantha is TG. She’s even covered if anyone gets the bright idea to check up on the papers. It cost me a lot…in terms of owing a favor…to get these. So…I will be collecting from both of you, in return.”
Jules pales and takes the envelope. Then she slowly pulls out the papers with a sigh.
While she’s shuffling through them, I look at Lissa. “So…we’re good to announce that Samantha got the award?”
Lissa nods. “Does she know, yet?”
“No…I haven’t told her. Have you mentioned anything to her since we last talked?” I look over at Jules.
She shakes her head. “No. She has no idea. I know that there’s a lot to do to get her enrolled…and everything. So, it’s good these came in…there’s not much time left before school starts. I just don’t know how she’ll do there.”
I nod. “Well…Faith can help her…and Gerome, too. He may not be in her classes…but he will be in the same school.”
Jules pales. “Gerome goes there? Is that why Adam wants her to go so badly?”
I shrug. “It seems to be part of it…yes. Is that a problem?”
“I guess time will tell.” She sighs. “Samantha is not Gerome’s biggest fan, right now….”
Lissa grins. “Ahhh… Young love. I just had to deal with some of that myself…between Ronni Brown and Jimmy Rollings.”
Jules looks shocked. “Ronni and Jimmy? Really? When did that happen?” Jimmy is Chad’s best friend…and he hasn’t mentioned anything about it. And I’m still shocked at the change in Ronni, since she became Lissa’s P.A.
Lissa shrugs. “Last night, it seems. Jimmy is also a now participant in our newest trial… He signed up yesterday…and is finishing up with Ginny, as we speak.”
I smile. “Well good for them! I don’t get Ronni’s new look…but who understands kids these days? I wonder what her mother thinks? But I’m glad she’s found someone that likes her…in spite of her…uniqueness. Anyway…I need to let Samantha know about winning the award…and send out the notification to everyone. I will also let Dr. Henderson at Oakwood know that Samantha got the award. She’ll likely want to meet with Samantha…and you and Gary…tomorrow, Jules.” I quickly leave them to go back to my office.
Samantha
* * * * *
I’m on my second round of the morning. Dharma has me in six-inch stilettos, this morning…and the heels are as pointed as an old-fashioned ice pick. I only know that because I saw one at the lumberyard….
I don’t know why they keep making me practice walking in heels. I think I could play basketball in them now…well…if I could play basketball…. Anyway…they don’t even really kill my feet…or calves, anymore…not even after walking in them all day.
I round the corner and enter the main R&D hallway. I see Ronni and some guy entering Ginny’s lab. I still can’t believe the change in Ronni…I never would have pegged her for a Goth! It just doesn’t…fit her. Then I nearly trip as the guy turns his head slightly on his way in. It’s Jimmy Rollings! What in the world is he doing here? And with Ronni…going into Ginny’s lab?
I don’t get a chance to ask. I’m about to call out to them…before they disappear into the lab…but my phone goes off and distracts me. I stop and pull it out of the small crossbody purse I use when “making my rounds.” I see that I have a “work” email. I rarely get anything like that…so I’m curious. I see that it’s from Claire when I open it. Then I nearly choke when I read it.
“Adam Ansel Award? What the Hell is that? Wait…! Distinguished female model…? Scholarship to…Oakwood?” I’m muttering to myself as I read through the lengthy notification. Then I scream when the implication hits me. “Gerome goes there! Arrrrgh!!!”
I pivot on my heels…I’m surprised that I don’t drill right down through the marble with the sharp points…and head to where I’m pretty sure I’ll find Momma. I have to know if she knows anything about this!
Sure enough. She’s with Claire in the Smoker’s Corner. It’s a filthy, dirty habit…but it does make finding her easier…the lure of nicotine must be something terrible.
“Momma! Claire! What is this? How can I win an award for a girl? That’s not right! And…I don’t want to go to school with Gerome!”
Momma chokes on her smoke.
Claire looks at me and smiles. “It’s a wonderful honor, Samantha. And don’t think about going to school with Gerome. He’s in the boys’ classes, anyway. Just think about going to school with Faith. You’ll have many of your classes with her. Although…your curriculum will be much more heavily weighted toward the ‘finishing school’ aspects than Faith’s is. You’ll be in the ‘traditional’ track…not the ‘modern’ one.”
I sigh.
Momma finally gets over her choking. “Hon, just think about it. You’ll be going to school as a girl…no matter what. Don’t you think it will be easier to go somewhere you’re not known? You can always go back to public school…if things…change.” She shrugs. “But for now, it really is your best option.”
Other than Mark, I really doubt anyone at school would care…and I don’t even know how he will ultimately react to my…changes. He’s still in Europe…Italy, I think…with his parents…and still hasn’t responded to any of my emails.
Thankfully, Faith has been there for me. It will actually be kind of nice to be back in school with her…I guess. But…I’m still not sure about Oakwood.
“Maybe so…I don’t know.” I shrug. “Anyway…I still don’t get how I can win an award meant for a girl! Won’t they have to know at school that I’m not? And…if so…how will I get put in with the girls? Won’t I have to be with the boys? How is that any better? That would be way worse!”
Momma looks embarrassed…when she admits the truth. “Well…Hon…I have some ‘official’ papers that certify that you’re transgender…that you’re really a girl…on the inside. You will be with the girls…since you are one…at least in the school’s eyes.”
I feel faint.
“It also makes you eligible for the award.” Claire smiles wanly.
“B…b…but…doesn’t that take a doctor…a shrink…or something…to certify it? Aside from it not being true…how did you get these papers. I’ve certainly never seen a shrink!” Suddenly…I’m starting to see the appeal of those cigarettes…or maybe a heavy-duty drug of some sort! Heroin sounds good, right now!
Claire clears her throat. “Well…Lissa was able to ‘remotely’ get you the appropriate statements…kind of like tele-medicine. You have a meeting with Dr. Henderson…the Headmistress…in the morning, at eight o’clock. It’s important that you…stay in your role of ‘Samantha.’”
“But why me? I don’t deserve this award! I don’t even qualify!” I cross my arms in front of my chest and huff. I don’t realize just how much that makes me look like the girl that I’m protesting being.
Momma smiles. “Are you sure, Hon? That was a completely girlish reaction! Are you really sure that you’re not a girl? Give it a shot. What can it hurt?”
“Other than my sanity? My…entire life?” I shake my head. “Oh…I don’t know….” I let it drop. It’s clear to me that I’m just along for the ride. But…I do have to admit…it is kind of cool to win the award. “Wait! Does Daddy know about this?”
Momma sucks deeply on her cigarette and shakes her head…she’s bright red…and coughing again.
This should be interesting!
Jimmy
* * * * *
I meet Ronni in front of the factory and give her a kiss.
She seems kind of…nervous…or something. I’m not really sure what it is. She’s just acting kind of weird as she leads me into the building.
I nervously take her hand and look around…at all of the women walking in the halls…. They’re all perfectly made up and provocatively dressed. It’s every man’s wet dream…the way they look. But this place gives me the creeps…it reeks of estrogen. I think I’ll steer clear of the drinking fountains…they probably add it to the water in high doses…. I wonder if they can somehow pump it through the air? I shudder. How long can I hold my breath?
My frantic thoughts are thankfully interrupted as Ronni stops in front of an office and knocks on the door…before entering without waiting. I nervously follow her in.
A menacing-looking woman is sitting behind a desk and motions for Ronni to close the door behind us.
Scant minutes later…I fall down the rabbit’s hole. This woman drops an atomic bomb on me. When I can in here…last night was the best night of my life! Now, I can only pray that it was a dream. Because…otherwise…it has become a nightmare! I just turned eighteen a couple of weeks ago…and that makes it illegal for me to sleep with my girlfriend? I get having to worry about her parents…but the law? But…somehow…I know this “Lissa” isn’t joking around.
So…I give in…and sign her infernal contract. At least it seems that Ronni and I can still be together…and I suppose that…now that I’m part of the ‘family’…that…what we do together is…up to us. I mean…that’s how I take the “…then the two of you can go celebrate…however you want” comment…and the accompanying wink.
But then Ronni leaves me alone with her…and takes the contract with her…to file it with HR. It seems that I’m stuck with it…now. For better or worse…. I wonder if this is how Sam Brinkley felt?
This woman is some sort of Devil. I’m sure of it! When she calls me a “wonder boy” it both confuses and worries me…. That’s awfully close to WunderGirl. But…her explanation of what she actually means only serves to make me even more ill at ease…. I mean…what does she mean…the line doesn’t exist…yet? Does that mean it will? And…I will have to market it? I’m afraid to push it…I’ll have to talk to Ronni about it.
Then she drops me off at some sort of lab…. She seems oblivious to my muddled state of mind…or she just doesn’t care…which is much more likely.
But…If I thought the morning…so far…was weird…I was wrong. The next several hours are just fucking bizarre…right out of a horror movie! This woman in the lab…Ginny…makes me take this strange written test…with all kinds of odd questions. Then she loads me up with a fucking truckload of products…potions and lotions…and shit. She gives me detailed instructions on how to use them all…and tells me there are even YouTube videos….
After she’s done going through it all, she dumps me off on this photographer…Becky…who takes “baseline” photos…whatever the fuck that means. She seems oddly…disturbed by me being in the trial…but doesn’t really say much outside of giving me instructions on how to “pose.” Finally…she dumps me back in the lab…with Ginny.
Thankfully, Ronni is waiting for me when she does. “Hi…Hon. How did it go?”
I just shake my head in total confusion…completely overwhelmed with what just happened.
Ginny smiles. “Ronni is a great resource. She can help you with any questions you might have. Of course, you’re always free to ask me, too. You’re one of us, now!”
Ronni just nods and smiles. She’s chewing furiously on her gum. “Come on! Let’s go back to my apartment…I forgot something. Then we can…celebrate…like Lissa suggested!”
“Umm…sure. Bye Ginny…I guess I’m supposed to take all of…this…with me?” I look at the bags of…stuff….
She nods and waves. “Yep! See you later, Hon!”
I pick up the bags and follow Ronni out. When we get back out to the parking lot, I unceremoniously dump the stuff in my trunk and look at Ronni. “What the fuck just happened in there, Ronni? Do you really think I raped you?”
She shakes her head. “No…Hon. But Lissa will…take advantage of anything she can. That’s just…her. She saw an opportunity…and took it. But staying on her good side can bring a lot of benefits. I just warn you about getting on her bad side…. Anyway, let’s not talk about that…I haven’t made my bed yet….” She winks and furiously chews on her gum.
My heart leaps…and I goofily follow along behind her, in my car…back to her apartment.
Chad
* * * * *
I’ve never known Jimmy to be late for a practice…and today was too close! He waltzed in with thirty seconds to spare! He barely had time to get suited up before Coach Reynolds blew the whistle to start practice.
I catch him on the way out. “What the fuck, Dude? You were almost late! We can’t afford for you to get benched!”
He grins and waggles his eyebrows. “I just scored…twice. Last night…and just now…and the extra points were good!”
It hits me what he means. “You mean…Ronni? Seriously? Are you fuckin’ kidding me?”
He just shakes his head and grins. “Fred’s tonight…at seven. Bring Alice!” He runs off to talk to coach while I go to start warming up.
Gary
* * * * *
I vehemently blow my smoke out in frustration. “We have to do what, now? Because of what, now?” I must have misheard Jules.
She nervously lights a cigarette…which is not a good sign. If she’s nervous…it can’t spell anything good. She’s always rock steady. “We need to go to Oakwood tomorrow and speak with Mrs…Ms…Dr. Henderson. She’s the headmistress…to finish Samantha’s enrollment.”
Sam is sitting there…with a mixture of dread and…curiosity…on his…her face.
“I don’t understand. Does this have something to do with the mysterious Country Club membership?” I am completely lost…and I don’t like losing control of my situation…like with Sam….
Jules shrugs… “According to Claire, the membership likely came from Adam Ansel…the very person that insisted on Samantha getting the scholarship. I don’t pretend to understand it all…but the membership is in good standing…Claire checked. She wants us all to go there and celebrate on Sunday. She said something about Adam needing a new golf partner…and wondered if you would be interested. I told her that I assumed you would be.”
I nod. “Sure…that would be great…but I still don’t understand!”
Jules shrugs again…as she blows out her smoke…then deflects as she stares at Sam. “What? I’ve seen you staring at me…and the others in the Corner. Don’t be so quick to judge, Love. You’re curious…aren’t you? Do you want to try it?” She pulls out an unlit cigarette and holds it out to him…her….
My heart nearly stops.
Sam just blushes and shakes his…her head. “No, Momma. Ewwww!”
“OK, then. Anytime you’re ready…you just let me know. But don’t you ever judge me, young lady!” Jules puts the cigarette away.
I’m blown away. I’ve never seen Jules react this way. It’s like a mother-daughter thing…. She really does see Sam as her daughter. I shake my head. “Can we get back to the matter-at-hand? Oakwood?”
Jules sighs. “Like I was saying…Samantha has won the prestigious ‘Adams Award.’ It’s a full ride to Oakwood…started by Adam Ansel…hence the name. The thing is…she will be enrolled as a girl…in the traditional girls’ track.”
My head hurts. “Wait! Sam won an award for a girl? How…? Aren’t there some kind of rules…?”
Sam looks smug…as she grins at Jules.
“Well…yes…. You see Samantha is transgender. I have the paperwork in my purse to prove it. She’s really a girl….” She sucks on her cigarette.
“Bullshit! That takes a shrink! And Sam’s never said anything about it…ever!” I feel like my head is going to explode!
She just gets up and pulls out a sheath of papers from her purse…and hands them to me.
I read through them and almost drop them to the ground in defeat. “So…Sam is a girl…. But when did she see a shrink?”
Sam…antha turns bright red.
Jules shrugs. “It was a…virtual…thing…you know…like tele-madicine. Lissa set it up.” She gives Sam…antha another pointed look.
Sam…antha gets an angry look on her face.
I’m completely lost…maybe it’s another mother-daughter thing?
“You know what, Momma? I think I will take that cigarette!” She glares at her.
Jules smiles…dangerously.
I know that smile. Poor Sam…antha!
She hands her a cigarette…and lights it for her. “Now…young lady. You will smoke the whole thing. I want to see you inhale it…deeply…hold it in for a count of ten…and slowly exhale it through your nose. That way I know you’re actually getting the full effect…and not faking it.”
I want to protest…but know better. Our parents did the same thing to both of us…to discourage us.
Samantha inhales…deeply…and nearly chokes. But she holds it together…she exhales through her nose.
Jules makes her keep on.
She gets greener with each drag. Finally, she puts out the butt…and runs to the bathroom…likely to throw up. She returns after a minute…with a defiant look on her face.
I don’t think she actually vomited…but I doubt that she’ll want another, anytime soon.
It worked on Jules and me, too…for a couple of days…. But we had a whole lot more peer pressure than Sam…antha…smoking was “cool” back then. Anyway…if this didn’t work…then…she…can meet one of my cigars. If it goes beyond that…well…then we warned…her….
I shrug. “OK. Now that that drama is over…whatever it was…what is this about tomorrow?” I take a drink of whiskey. This is just too weird!
Samantha looks defiant. “Oh…it’s nothing, Daddy. I’m supposed to go sign up to be ‘finished’ as a ‘young lady’…and be prepared to take on my role in life ‘as a woman.’ It’s demeaning…and it’s wrong! And I don’t want it!”
Jules loudly slaps the patio table in front of her…rattling the glass.
We all jump!
“Enough!” She shakes her head. “Samantha…you can’t turn down the award…you will go…at least for this coming year. Now get over yourself. Us women have been dealing with sexism for centuries…you’ll live!”
Samantha turns beet-red…and makes a big show of taking a cigarette from Jules’ pack. She looks Jules defiantly in the eye…lights it…inhales deeply…and slowly exhales through her nose.
So much for that plan…!