Sydney Moya
(c)2014-All rights reserved
Jan has struggled with her gender identity all her life and has finally decided to take a path leading to being a woman. She must inform her loved ones though and it won't be easy. This is her story
Chapter 1
“Janie you can’t do this, think of what it’ll do to Mum and Dad and Oupa. You’ll kill them with shock,” she implored her 21 year old brother.
Jan sighed, “I thought you’d at least understand,” he remarked.
“I do, honestly but getting a sex-change is crazy! Get a psychologist to help you out with this,” responded June.
“I did June. The minute I got to the States I went to three and they all said the same thing, I have a female brain and there’s nothing for it but for me to live as a girl. I lived as a girl for three years, went on hormones, grew my hair out and I felt normal like a real person,” explained Jan.
June looked taken aback, “You did what?”
“I lived as a girl throughout college. I took oestrogen and I’ve never felt happier okay! I only came back here because it’s what Mum and Dad want, I’ve tried to live as a guy but it’s made me miserable and I can’t do it anymore,” confessed Jan.
Seeing the disbelieving look on June’s face Jan went to a drawer and after s short search retrieved a photo album and handed it to June. The older sibling accepted it and paged through it and her mouth fell open at the pictures it held. There was no mistaking who the pretty blonde girl in the album was.
“Goodness, Jan,” she murmured completely taken aback. Her brother looked beautiful with hair that swept past the shoulders.
“I’d rather be called Jenny,” remarked Jan in a very high pitched voice that made June stare at him.
“Ever since I was small I’ve known I wasn’t a boy and it’s been driving me crazy. In the States I was so happy because my dream came true but because Mum and Dad have so many hopes here for me as their son I had to give it up. In the six months I’ve been here I’ve tried to be a guy and it’s made me sick. I need to be a girl forever,” explained Jenny.
June was at a loss for words. She knew her little brother had never been like other boys and she loved him for it but had had no idea of Jan’s overwhelming desire to be female and it shocked her.
“I don’t want to hurt anyone but I can’t live a lie anymore,” continued Jenny softly.
June sat there, reliving that morning’s events beginning with the phone call Jan had made asking her to come over urgently and then the bombshell, “I’m going to get a sex-change,” Jan had said.
“You’re what?” remarked June in reply, stunned.
“I’m going to be a girl completely. I’m going to get surgery to make a woman,” Jan had insisted.
June’s mouth had fallen open, she was that shocked.
“You’re joking right?” she’d finally said, trying to smile and hoping she was right but Jan had shook her head slowly.
“I’m dead serious sis and I’m going to tell everyone else this week,” she’d replied which is when the angry tears had come.
The two siblings sat there, a long awkward silence between them. It was a while before June said something; she was still taken aback by June’s words and couldn’t find words to express the emotions running riot in her heart.
“When are you going to tell them?” she finally asked.
“On Wednesday,” said Jenny quietly.
“How do you think they’ll take it?” queried June.
“Badly I guess, I just don’t know but it’s something I have to do,” responded Jenny in a tired voice.
June shook her head and looked at her watch. She felt an urgent need to escape this person in front of her, the sibling who’d suddenly become a stranger and to be alone to ponder on everything that she’d heard.
“I have to go,” she said quickly.
“Oh, okay,” said Jenny as June stood up.
“See you at home then,” said June as she headed out of the flat.
“Bye.”
Later both of them recalled that they hadn’t hugged each other on separation as per custom.
“You look so thin honey,” remarked Rachel Wolhuter when her youngest child, Jan arrived at the family home three days later, “I know bachelors live out of tins. Just look at you. You’re as thin as a rake. You should never have moved out,” she finished as she hugged Jan.
“Or maybe your Grandpa’s over working you. You don’t look too well,” she continued, looking into Jan’s face worriedly her voice losing its initial lightheartedness and becoming more serious.
“Nonsense,” said Willem Wolhuter, Jan’s father, “he looks well to me and your father’s easing him in gently,” he added before pouring out another drink for the new arrival.
Jan caught June’s eye for a second before June looked away.
“You would tell me if anything was wrong right Janie,” said Mrs Wolhuter softly.
“Yes Ma,” responded Jan quietly.
“That’s my boy,” she said with a smile before shepherding Jan into the lounge and telling her favourite child all about her new outfits and the big dinner she planned for her cousin’s anniversary.
Dinner was the same as it had always been, sumptuous and full of questions from Rachel as to what her family was doing before she told them about her plans for a garden party for her cousin’s birthday in the coming weeks. Both her kids played along as though they knew this was the calm before the storm. June and Jan kept avoiding meeting each other’s eyes preferring to stare into their plates.
“I have something to tell all of you,” announced Jan at the end of the meal.
“Sure what is it?” said Rachel fondly.
“Yes what is it son,” added Willem while the expression on June’s face implored Jan to change her mind.
“How do I explain this?” began Jan uncertainly, “It’s so hard to explain,” she added quietly.
“You’re not in a court of law my boy, just get it off your chest,” urged Willem in his hearty voice.
“Is it serious?” queried Rachel, her voice tinged with worry.
Jan nodded, “I, I,” she stammered nervously, “I’m very depressed and unhappy with my life and the direction it’s taking right now. I feel like I’m living a lie.”
‘No Jan. Please don’t do this,’ pleaded June in her heart.
“How so?” asked Rachel after a moment’s silence.
“I feel like I’m living a lie,” repeated Jan unhappily, “like I’m being someone I’m not supposed to be,” continued Jan.
“Oh you’re probably just burnt out, maybe we have been overworking you,” replied Willem, “take some time off and travel or something,” he added in a well-meaning fatherly tone.
“It’s not that,” said Jan shaking her head, “this isn’t about my job it’s about identity, the person I want to be, right now I’m not that person and it’s driving me nuts. I feel like I was meant to be a woman not a man,” confessed Jan.
They all looked at her in shocked silence.
Jan went on, “I want to live my life as a girl and I want to get surgery to make a woman,” she added solemnly.
“You want what?” exclaimed Willem, his voice booming across the room.
“Are you crazy?” he continued irately.
‘This is exactly what I was afraid of,’ thought Jan with a mental sigh.
She tried to remain composed and calm.
“I’m not crazy Pa. I just have this condition known as gender dysphoria whereby my body’s gender isn’t the as that of my brain. Simply put I have felt I was a girl trapped in male body and it’s tearing me apart. I can’t stand it anymore and that’s where the surgery comes in,” she explained calmly.
“I’ve been taking hormones since I was 15 and they’ve changed my body completely. I have breasts and hips, no body hair and I’ve never developed facial hair and my voice never broke. I lived as a girl throughout my stay in the US and I saw three doctors who all agree that mentally I’m female. I can’t lie to myself anymore and I won’t, I intend to start living as a woman full time and to get surgery,” she ended.
The silence that greeted this statement was deafening, they all looked at her with varying expressions playing on their features. Willem looked disgusted while Rachel looked at her with pity filled eyes. June just looked away afraid of what her parents reaction would be.
“Why?” Rachel whispered helplessly.
“I don’t know Ma. I just feel this way every day and it’s destroying me,” responded Jan sadly.
“You think altering your body’s going to make you happy or that you’ll be a real woman?” queried Rachel.
She sounded very doubtful.
“It’ll give me peace of mind,” said Jan.
“Supposing it doesn’t and you’ve gone in too far,” remarked Willem doing his best to sound calm.
“I want to spend the rest of my life as a woman. I’m more than certain I won’t ever stop feeling this way,” replied Jan with a quiet conviction.
“Damn it man what kind of a life would that be?” asked Willem, very upset.
“Whose wife do you think you’ll be?” he added furiously.
“It’s not about being anyone’s wife Pa; it’s about being comfortable in my own body. I don’t want to go through life feeling like this,” responded Jan emotionally.
“You won’t be a real woman Jan,” said Rachel.
Jan just looked at her family; they simply couldn’t or wouldn’t get her point of view.
“I guess this means I can’t count on your support,” she finally said.
“The hell you won’t. If you go ahead with this foolishness you can consider yourself cut out from this family. No son of mine can do such nonsense. I won’t have it,” declared Willem bluntly pointing a finger at Jan.
Jan’s heart broke, though she’d prepared herself for the worst. She turned to her mother.
“Mum is this how you feel too?” she asked.
“Jan, please don’t do this. If you’re unhappy we can sort out something, counselling and therapy, not this. Don’t disgrace yourself or your family,” Rachel pled.
Saddened by these words Jan stood up,
“I can’t go on living a lie,” she told them before heading out.
“Jan,” her mother called.
“Leave him alone, he’ll come to his senses,” said Willem quietly but Jan stood up and followed her sibling to the door.
“Hey wait,” she called out as Jan reached her car.
“What?” asked Jan softly.
“That’s exactly what I’d like to know. You heard Dad, what are you going to do now?” June queried very anxiously.
“I’m going to go ahead. I’d have loved their support but if they can’t give it I won’t force them to give it,” said Jan simply with a quiet assurance that shook June’s conviction about her sibling’s sanity.
“But he’ll disown you,” she said.
“I know but I can’t live my life for him. I’ve never felt male and I never will and I won’t force myself to be someone I’m not,” responded Jan quietly.
“You’ll destroy the family Jan,” said June in a sad voice.
For the first time that evening tears coursed down Jan’s cheeks.
“That’s not my intention and that’s why I came back from America but it’s not working June. Two weeks ago I desperately wanted to jump out of my window because I can’t go on as a guy okay, either way I’m screwed so let me follow my heart,” said Jan as she cried.
June felt her heart break as she heard this; she reached for her sister and embraced her.
To be continued
CHAPTER TWO
ONE YEAR LATER
Jenny Wolhuter sat in the conference room of her law firm looking at the Golden Gate Bridge. She was a rising star at the prestigious law firm of Rutledge, Goldstein and Faber, an associate already in the running for plum position as a partner and this was from a person barely out of law school though she’d graduated magna cum laude and top of her class. The 21 year old had everything going for her, a stellar career, stunning looks, a vibrant social life and the biggest wish of her life was about to come true.
Sighing she reached for the picture on her desk and looked at it. Her sister June was in it and half a world away in Johannesburg. It had been over a year since they’d seen at each other and that had had been at the airport as Jenny left for the States to pursue her dream, leaving her family shattered. Her parents hadn’t spoken to her since she’d told them what she planned and she missed them terribly. Their failure to accept her decision to live her life as a woman hurt Jenny deeply especially considering how they’d completely cut themselves from her not answering her letters or taking her phone calls. June was the only member of her family in touch with her and consequently the only one Jenny felt she could ask for assistance.
“Hello June, it’s Jenny. I really wanted to talk to you but you’re obviously not in so let me just say it. I’ve finally got the money for my surgery and I’m going for the op next month I’d really appreciate it if you could be there for it, I don’t want to go through this alone and it would mean so much if you came. I hope you’re okay, everything’s great here, rumour has it I might get a promotion anytime soon so keep your fingers crossed for me. ‘Kay that’s about it. I love you and I’ll call you later. Bye,” said the message June found on her answering machine.
A great wave of sadness washed over June as she realised the importance of her sibling’s words. Basically in a month or so her sweet little brother would take the final step in his transformation into a woman, becoming Jenny forever for reasons she barely understood.
Jenny’s decision had meant leaving for America and becoming estranged from their parents who never mentioned her anymore. It was like Jan had died. The person she spoke to on the phone spoke in Jan’s sweet, high pitched voice basically unchanged since childhood but to June that person was a stranger she barely knew and possibly didn’t want to know. Deep in heart she knew she wanted her cute, sweet, shy brother back though another part of her knew that that same boy had been very different from other boys. They’d liked the same toys as children, when they’d played dress-up Jan had worn her clothes and had always played the part of the mother or daughter or sister. Not once June recalled had Jan voluntarily being the father or son.
Jan had also cried when made to get haircuts as well as despising having a penis. She remembered how much Jan had wanted clothes like hers and to be a girl all the time not only when they played. As she grew up she’d thought that had finished but it obviously hadn’t.
It hadn’t taken June long to realise her brother was unlike other boys. Just looking at her male cousins and schoolmates told her so but she’d never disliked Jan for it, in fact she loved him for being so sweet, sensitive and affectionate and as they grew up and apart that hadn’t changed.
Still the idea of a sex-change was so shocking even to a liberal young woman like her. After all those things were only done by crazy, unbalanced people whose stories appeared in the “wacky” section of her local paper.
In South Africa getting a sex-change was unheard of and in her 25 years she’d never met a transsexual. No wonder her father couldn’t even consider the idea and was of the opinion that sending Jan to America at 17 had corrupted him.
‘This house is so sad without Jan around thought June at dinner later that night at her parents’ home. Things were so different, her father was silent, taciturn, while her mother over-compensated by chattering to both of them, though it could never be the same as when Jan had been around as Jan had always been Rachel’s darling, able to chatter back to her and talk seriously with Dad while gossiping with June too.
Even when in the States for three straight years, talking about Jan’s latest phone call and prospects had done the trick. Now Jan’s name was never mentioned in this house and June wasn’t about to bring up a painful subject by telling her parents Jan was going to go under the knife and end up with a vagina in thirty days. That would be the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Heck her parents didn’t even know she was regularly in touch with Jan. still it hurt to see how her parents pretended Jan didn’t exist. Sure Jan’s decision had turned everything upside down and hurt them but she was still their flesh and blood and nothing would undo that.
‘I know Jan would back me up if I needed it, if Mum and Dad don’t care I still do,’ she thought.
“Mum, Dad I’m planning on going overseas next month,” June announced at the end of dinner.
“Really, where to?” Rachel queried.
“Europe for some business,” replied June, “I also need a break,” she added.
She wasn’t lying per se because she did mean to go Europe before making her way to the US.
“How long are you staying there?” Rachel asked.
“Four to six weeks,” replied June.
Even though she’d decided to go the States it took June another 2 days to get back to her sister because she’d been having second thoughts about it. Was she about to give her approval for Jan’s unusual decision? Her parents would probably never forgive her of she was party to what they thought of as Jan’s folly. In the end though after a lot of introspection her love for Jan won out. Ever since they’d been kids she’d always looked out for her sibling and they’d always been there for one another. Even if Jan was a girl that didn’t change the fact that she was still her older sister and with that came a fierce protectiveness which had remained strong since Jan’s birth.
‘Besides, what if I was in her shoes, wouldn’t I need my family with me?’
“Hey Jenny, its June,” began June awkwardly when she called to tell Jan she was coming. The awkwardness happened every time she had to use Jan’s new name, getting used to it was very difficult but she did it because it was what Jan/Jenny wanted.
“Hey sis,” said Jenny cheerfully in the same voice she’d used forever.
Her voice had never broken but since coming out June had always been unnerved by it. It was so feminine, something she hadn’t realised until Jenny came out. Part off her knew this knowledge was poisoning her view of her sibling because she was now reading into every feminine thing about Jenny.
“How are you? I hope you got my message,” continued Jenny.
“I’m okay love,” replied June, “when do you want me to fly over?” she added.
“You’re coming? June that’s fantastic. You have no idea how much that means to me and I’ve missed you much,” gushed Jenny, clearly overjoyed.
June’s heart swelled, “I’ve missed you too,” she said warmly, “when I can come?” she finished.
“ASAP doll! You’ll love it here, there’s so many cool shops,” Jenny said, sounding very excited, “and we have so much catching up to do,” replied June happily.
Her sister’s excitement seemed infectious.
June guessed the queasy feeling in her stomach was trepidation. It happened every time she was on a plane, especially during the landing. This time it felt stronger than ever for reasons she didn’t quite understand though she guessed some of her nervousness had a lot to do with meeting her sister for the first time.
‘What would Jenny look like?’
‘What am I going to say to her?’’
‘Will people stare?’ June asked herself over and over as the plane made its descent.
Jenny meanwhile was waiting patiently at the arrivals lounge. She was even more anxious than June was. She had only seen her pictures but never met her as Jenny. Coming alone hadn’t helped much but since no one she was close to in the States had any idea of her background it had been the only viable option if she didn’t want to be outed by her sister. Not that she expected June to do that but she wanted to play it safe and avoid the potential for awkward moments with any third parties.
After clearing customs and immigration, June had walked slowly into the terminal, scanning the mosaic of faces for her sister's. Suddenly she saw a huge placard with, “JUNE WOLHUTER” inscribed on it. A svelte blonde was holding it up and she realised that girl was Jenny.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before starting towards her
‘Wow,’ thought June as she walked towards Jenny, ‘she’s absolutely gorgeous!’
Jenny happened to look in her direction at that moment and their eyes met. At the sight of her sister, Jenny’s joy overcame her nervousness and she rushed meet her.
“June,” began Jenny happily, giving her sister a big hug, “it’s so good to see you. Thank you so much for agreeing to come. So how are you?” said Jenny all at once after letting go.
June stood there holding Jenny’s hands and unable to reply because she was so shocked by Jenny’s appearance. The honest truth was Jenny was drop dead gorgeous with a long mane of blonde hair, attractive face, nice bust and sculptured legs to die for. Everything about her just shouted “girl”.
“I know, I know I look a bit different from when you last saw me but I’m very happy with who I am,” said Jenny, sensing her sisters amazement, “and chill I’m not going to eat you or anything,” she teased finally winning a smile from June.
“Well don’t you think a bit different is an understatement?” June remarked making Jenny laugh and lightening the moment.
“How are you honey?” June gently asked.
“I’m great sis,” said Jenny simply, “my life’s back on track again.”
Looking into Jenny’s eyes June sensed that she was right, her eyes were just so alive and radiated life and inner peace, something that had been absent that winter night in Johannesburg.
Jenny smiled knowingly as the older girl stared at her.
“Come on let me take this,” she said easily, taking the handle of the baggage cart from her sister.
“Okay shall we go home or do you want to look at the local attractions first,” went Jenny before striking a sexy pose which made her sister giggle.
“Still funny I see,” remarked June, smiling back
To be continued
CHAPTER THREE
In the car Jenny talked about the sights in San Francisco and the places worth visiting while June listened, while watching the bubbly young woman for any sign of her brother. She failed to find any sign of Jenny’s male past. From head to toe all she saw was a girl, a very attractive one at that if she was honest and she wondered at the changes in her sibling. From what she could discern Jenny had the whole girl thing down pat, all the way to her body language and voice inflection and it left her quite shaken.
“Wow,” breathed June, when they arrived at Jenny’s apartment.
“You like?” Jenny said.
June nodded as she scanned her siblings well decorated apartment.
“You have really great taste,”
Coming from June, an interior designer this was a major compliment, “I didn’t know you had it in you,” she added.
“Thanks,” said Jenny gracefully, “Would you like a drink, snack?” Jenny said, as she put away her sister’s bags and showed her the guest room.
“Sure what do you have here?” June replied.
“I have soda’s, coffee, iced tea,” responded Jenny.
“Any rooibos,” June asked.
“Sorry I hate that stuff and it’s hard to find here,” said Jenny, rather too happily in her sister’s opinion.
Jenny had despised the South African tea from her childhood while June thought it was an absolute must.
“Sure it is,” she said rolling her eyes before asking for a coffee.
The coffee did nothing for the jet lag and June dozed off after finishing her cup despite Jenny’s dire warnings that she’d regret it later. Jenny knew first-hand the effects of jet lag as she recalled her arrival in the US.
Over a year ago she’d found herself in San Francisco so she could become whole. It was a journey that had started many years before though she recalled as she set about making dinner.
Jenny had a prodigious intellect. As a child she’d skipped three grades and her IQ had been in the 140’s. She’d matriculated at 14 and won a special dispensation to go to university two years early. She’d taken her first degree in business at 17 before going to the US for law school. While there she’d taken a law degree as well as a history degree through long distance.
Her problems with her gender had been quite clear to her by the time she was ten. She knew deep down that she needed to have a female body and had secretly started taking birth control pills at fourteen in an attempt to make her body develop as a woman’s and not as a man’s. The hormones worked very well. She’d been pretty small for her age and hadn’t really been touched by testosterone which meant that the oestrogen had a blank slate to work on. Her breasts had developed as had her hips giving her a very feminine figure that she hid under the baggy clothes that were so fashionable when she first attended university. With time she learned to bind her breasts when presenting as a boy. Her face wasn’t so easily hidden and was quite pretty but everyone (her parents) assumed it was just puppy fat which she’d grow out of one day.
She was quite an independent child. Going to university at a young age made her parents assume she was more mature and they were inclined to watch from a distance. Since she kept getting top marks and was well behaved, polite and responsible she was quite free to chart the course she wanted.
Willem was also quite busy with his career while Rachel also ran a successful wedding business as well as a being involved strongly in a charity to help orphans. With her sister at university in Cape Town while she was at the local one just miles from her house she had carte blanche with her wardrobe and was regularly going out as a girl sometimes missing lectures just to get to be herself. Initially she’d been terrified someone would realise she wasn’t female but when no one batted an eyelid and one or two boys wolf whistled at her she became far more confident. She visited malls and just wandered about and it was on one of these jaunts that she’d made friends with a bunch of kids who’d found her sitting alone at a table and asked to join her.
Jane, Courtney, Lucas and Sean were students at the local polytechnic. They were studying different things but had all attended the same local high school and were still friends. Jane was doing a course in office administration. Courtney was studying bookkeeping while Lucas and Sean were doing electrical engineering. All of them were easy going and quickly drew Jenny into their clique. Jenny was an outgoing person though shy around strangers and learning with kids older than her had only tended to make her more so. She’d had one close friend in high school, Lionel Van Zyl and that was because he was overweight and was a new boy at the school. None of the other kids had really warmed to him and she’d felt pity for him and become his friend.
Before she’d left school she’d told him her secret and to her surprise he had been disgusted and hadn’t wanted to talk to her for a couple of days though he didn’t tell anyone. After a week he’d apologised and said he’d thought about it and was sorry for his reaction. They’d continued as friends but never mentioned her gender again. When she matriculated Jenny had purposely lost touch with him as she didn’t want to remember the way he’d looked at her when she told him. It also made her more guarded with her secret.
As a result her new friends knew nothing of her real life and she lived a secret life until she graduated at 17. She’d even dated Lucas for a bit but because she was so young he’d ended it. By the time she’d gone to the State’s she’d socialised as a girl and was quite comfortable presenting as one.
Her reminisces were disturbed by June waking up. Once again she was surprised by her sibling. Jenny had a lovely meal ready for her. She'd had no idea Jenny could cook this well.
It consisted of fried langos potato bread, baked cherrystone clams and a bavette steak with yoghurt parfait for dessert.
A part of her wondered if this was another way of expressing her femininity.
“Where did you learn to cook so well?” June said as she ate her meal.
“Eva taught me when you were in Cape Town. I took some classes when I first came here,” Jenny revealed.
“How did you get Eva to do that?” June remarked referring to the domestic worker who’d practically raised them. She'd retired when Jenny went to the US and was sorely missed by all the Wolhuter's.
“She never wanted me to disturb her when she was in there,” June added.
“I asked her,” said Jenny simply.
“She always had a soft spot for you,” June mused.
“I have a way with people,” said Jenny primly.
June rolled her eyes.
“Well it’s true,” said Jenny with a smile.
June had to smile remembering the number of times her sibling had got out of trouble with her charming smile.
The two chatted about their lives catching up on one each others news. June regaled Jenny with anecdotes from her interior design business and the obnoxious people she sometimes worked for. Jenny talked about her job as a lawyer and the joy it brought when she won a case. She described a big case that she’d helped on and which had made her name as the best associate and June listened with interest.
“Nice. I bet Dad would love to have heard that,” said June without thinking.
Jenny’s face saddened.
“I guess so, I only did law because of him and grandpa,” she murmured.
“Do you have to go through with this?” June asked.
“Yes I do,” Jenny answered.
“Really, it just seems so drastic and well kind of weird for you to try and be a woman,” said June.
"I am a woman and I'm not trying," Jenny replied.
June sighed, "Really," she said pointedly.
“June you shouldn’t have come here if you have a problem with me and the choices I’ve made. I refuse to live my life to please you and Mum and Dad,” argued Jenny.
“That’s your problem Jan, everything has to revolve around you. Did you ever stop to think that they could be hurt by what you’re doing? You just showed up at home and told Mum and Dad you were going to get a sex-change then a week later you’d flown off to the States,” June answered.
“Oh dear, now it’s my fault huh? I didn’t throw myself out, Dad did,” Jenny hit back.
“Oh yes you did, you took the easy way out, you never tried to talk to him or show him what you look like or anything, you just gave up on him,” June retorted.
Jenny fought back the tears that threatened to overwhelm and her yelled back at her sister.
“I DID NOT; DO YOU THINK I WANTED TO HURT THEM? I WAS TRYING TO TELL THEM HOW I FELT.”
“Except you didn’t tell them Jan they have no idea you were suicidal you simply told them you needed surgery to make you a woman. How did you expect Pa to react when his only son said that? As far he was concerned you were doing something silly for reasons best known to you!”
“What would you have had me do, jump out of my office and leave him a note on my desk? Maybe you’d all believe me if I was dead. I’ve written once a week to them and not once have I gotten a response from them,” said Jenny angrily before turning her back on her sister and going to her room.
"There you go, walking away from the difficult discussions again," said June, also upset.
"I can't talk to you right now I need to be alone ok," answered Jenny before closing her door.
‘I wanted to be a girl so bad it hurt!’ Jenny thought as she flopped onto her bed.
The truth was she had hated having a male organ sticking out of her entire life, had detested it so much she’d felt like hacking it off.
People didn’t know how horrible it felt to hate your own body so much, to feel so trapped that you wanted to end your life. June didn’t seem to get it. Tears coursed down Jenny's cheeks as she lay there wondering.
‘Why can’t people get it?’
To be continued