This entry is inspired by LittleKatie's entry Monstrosity.
What I'm going to do here is take us all on a short photographical journey down memory lane, presenting - though old photographs - the path of destruction I'd been on before finally facing myself. I'm going to start in High School, since that's really where things started to escalate.
High School Junior:
High School around graduation time:
Just before leaving for Uni:
Just before getting kicked out of Uni because of my worst depression to date:
In all but the last picture you can't really see how I've always been overweight. I've always worn my weight distributed almost evenly throughout my entire body, with just enough concentration in just the right spots...
In the last picture... Well, I was heading into a VERY serious depression at the time, as I've said many times, my worst one. Didn't help at all having to share an apartment with 5 boys who I couldn't relate to socially at the level they expected of me. Towards the end of my stay out in Rexburg, I spent whatever time I managed to be awake hanging out with my "sisters" at their apartment, and the rest sleeping. I didn't attend classes. I occasionally finished assignments, but mostly didn't... I did manage to fulfill my church responsibilities... Barely.
At the time, it must have been glaringly obvious to everyone around me what was happening... Of course, they couldn't have understood why any better than I did at the time. I was on a path of assured self-destruction. It may not have been sudden, intentional, physical suicide, but it was an emotional one that was sure and steady. Eventually, that path would have led to me simply not waking up one day. Ever again.
Forever and always,
Abigail Drew.