A Splintered Life - Chapter 10

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The Hammer Falls
 
 

Deirdre stood there stunned, as if he had hit her. “Is that what you want David? For me to have died?”

The words came out scarcely above a whisper.

David glared at her, clenching and unclenching his fists, and barked out, “Hell yes! Look at all you have done to us all. If you had died, things would still be good. Sure my baby brother would be gone but I wouldn’t have a freak living in his place!”

Deirdre recoiled as if slapped. The venom in the words was palpable. So was the heavy smell of alcohol on his breath. She hadn’t really noticed how strong it was before, but it was clear now. As was his anger.

“I loved my baby brother. I fought for him. I looked out for him. I did everything I could for him, to help him grow up and be a man. Then you came along. I wish mom hadn’t found you in time for them to have saved you. They said if it had only been fifteen minutes later, it would have been too late. Fifteen fucking minutes.” David pulled a bottle from his coat and took a long pull from it. He sighed. “Fifteen minutes more and my brother would have died, but we would have been spared you.”

“You would rather I was dead?” Deirdre’s voice shook.

“Hell yes! Look at you! You’re a goddamn freak! Prancing around as if you were a girl. How can you stand knowing everyone is laughing at you?”

“They are not laughing at me David. I am a girl to everyone but you apparently. Why are you laughing?” Deirdre kept her voice level and clam. She felt like she was on a roller coaster ride hurtling out of control.

“I’m not laughing. Do I look like I’m laughing?” David growled this out, glaring at Deirdre. “All I ever wanted was for my little brother to be happy. And you… you fucking killed him.”

The words hung heavily in the air. Deirdre tried to say something twice before the words finally came out. “David, I’m still here. And this is what makes me happy. I had hoped you would understand. You always told me about the importance of being yourself, of standing your ground, of facing off against anyone who thought they knew me better than myself.”

“I didn’t think those words would make you a fairy.”

“But David, I still like women. Doesn’t that matter?”

“Oh... you mean your little lezzy girlfriend? Oh, sure. What do you do for her bro, bang her with your shemale cock? Or does she fuck you with a strap on?”

Deirdre gaped, unable to answer.

“Oh... yeah. I am sure you want to get real cock as well. Isn’t that why you wanted to be a girl John? So you could justify your need to get fucked.” He drank again from his bottle.

‘That is not why I did this!”

“Sure. Then why did you Johnny?” David said, sneering.

“I did this so I could be me, the me you always encouraged me to be.”

“I never encouraged you to be a girl!” screamed David at the top of his voice.

“Damnit David, if you think I chose this path to spite you you’re messed up. I wanted to die rather than deal with this. Do you think for a moment that I thought this would be some sort of fun game?”

“How the fuck should I know. You closed me out John. You pranced around, doing your little girly things, growing your girly tits and what about me? You left me behind without looking back. You obviously wanted something I couldn’t give you.”

“I was trying to find myself!! Jesus Christ David, this whole thing has nothing to do with you. Why would it? It was me dealing with me and trying to keep from killing myself. Shit, I’m finally happy and you start this.”

“John, you look stupid. How could you do this?”

“I did it so I wouldn’t die! How many times do I have to tell you that David. I didn’t do it because I wanted cock, I didn’t do it so I could be a little fairy, I did it because it was let that part of me come to life or fucking die!! What is so god damn hard to understand about that?!” screamed Deirdre, glaring angrily at her brother.

“You fucking faggot, don’t go preaching to me! You think it was this or die? Fine. But you didn’t even have the courtesy to die. You stayed alive and drug all of us into this fucking hell with you.”

“My life isn’t hell!”

“The Hell it’s not! I lost my friends, Johnny, my friends I had since I was four! I lost my girl, because she was afraid I might have caught whatever it was you had. I lost everything, all because little Johnny wanted some man meat to break him in.”

“I do not fucking want any god damn man meat!” Deirdre was ready to take a swing at her brother at that.

“Then why were you swapping spit with dreads boy?”

Deirdre again stopped as if someone had thrown ice water on her. She couldn’t think of anything to say.

“I guess you’re still the coward you have always been. I bet you just want to be broken in but are afraid, isn’t that right Johnny boy? You want dread boy’s prick inside you? Scared of it?” He pulled again from the bottle. Deirdre could smell it clearly on David’s breath.

“I am going to my room, you prick! Sober up before we continue this. You need help David, and I am not going to stand here and be yelled at by a drunk.” She started to storm out of the room.

Deirdre was slammed into the wall by his backhand. Her lip split where his class ring had hit her. She looked up in fright as his fist slammed into her stomach. She looked up from the ground at him, mouth bleeding, and heart pounding in fear. The look on his face scared her more than anything else had in her life. “Oh no Johnny, we’re going to finish this now. I’ll help you get past your fear. I’ll break you in.”

His fist plowed into her right eye and she rolled backwards. “If you want to be a girl, I’ll help you. Welcome to womanhood Johnny.”