HOW I BECAME STEPHANIE
(MY OLD NAME AND FAMILY NAMES CHANGED TO PROTECT IDENTITIES OF THIS LIFE STORY)
CHAPTER 1
Few years after i was born i always knew i was a girl but growing up and being forced to be a boy was always hard for me to life it was hard to go to school in trousers and shirt and tie instead of a school skirt and blouse and tie as i always dreamed to wear what the girls wore to school i used to sit in the class looking at all the girls and fixated with the clothes the girls wore in and out of school hours, I got Jealous i couldn't look that pretty as they did in their gorgeous outfits they wore,
At school i always tried to hanged around with the girls and play any games they wanted to play like Hide And Seek and Tag Your It, i always wished i was born a girl i felt totally out of place being the only (Girl) in Boys clothes but once i got home it was back to toy cars and other boring boy toys i wished i had dolls and prams and a doll house like my big sisters did but nope the only chance i got to play with them is when i played with my sisters toys, and as any other boy would do who knew they were a girl inside i tried on my mum's clothes and if i ever went to my aunties house i used to tell my mum i was going to the toilet but instead i sneaked into my wee cousins room and put on her cutestes clothes she had and i would put my boring males clothes on top of them and take them home, and one time my dad caught me wearing my mum's clothes instead of knocking on my room door so i could rush and get dressed he just walked in and caught me and he humiliated me he grabbed me by the collar and took me downstairs to my mum where i was wearing her clothes and my dad says "look what your son is wearing" i just burst out crying and i was told to go upstairs and get changed,
(skipping a few years)
When I was at high school i i managed to get my stash of girly cute clothes and hair accessories i hidden them in my bed room i used to put them on anytime i got alone time and when ever my mum found my stash of clothes she actually binned the whole bag while i was at school so once i came home i ran to my room to put something on and as you would know they were all gone and i couldn't go to my mum or dad and ask where my bag of girl clothes went too, So i had to start again and gather clothes from my cousin or clothes i bought with my own pocket money i got, One time actually heard my mum and dad talk and they were just saying it's ok we can't let Robert wear the girl clothes he has gotten it's only a phase he will grow out off and as i got older i showed my parents it was not just a phase as they thought it would be and they just kept it in their heads it was a phase.
as time went by as i got older i did manage to change my name legally but still after it was changed my parents still never called me by my name, the name i had chosen for my self Stephanie Maire Faith i got the name changed in 2010 and i was actually happy that i started my Journey to be ME and in 2013 i started female hormones to grow my own set of breast and to make my features more feminine and and i changed all my legal documents to my new name Stephanie Marie Faith and i met a brand new family who would love me and accept me as their daughter and sister and they showed me the love i missed out growing up as Robert and now i had a family who was actually calling me by my name Stephanie that actually made me very very very happy and all i could do from their was to live my life to the max and i had to go through voice training and blood tests and psychotherapy and counselling to make sure i was sane enough to go through with the operation in years to come, but in the meantime i had a new family a new sister and 3 new brothers and a new mum and dad who all loved me for whom i am and not what i was born like, my dreams started to come true and my sister who i love to bits helped me anyway she could she gave me hair styles and she did my makeup and she helped me to buy clothes for my self and i was extremely happy to be doing sisterly stuff even tho i was older than my new sister for some strange reason i did want to be treated as the youngest sister by her. Cause having a family to accept and love me as their daughter/sister i never had that growing up as a boy so i kinda desperately wanting to be the little sister and learn from my big sister i did, But that never happened i had to be the big sister and i learned alot from my new family and i settled into my new life and at one point my new family took me out to a restaurant and some ignorant guys were looking at me and saying stuff under their breath about me but i just ignored them sat back down and enjoyed my food,
CHAPTER 2 My Transition
On march 2017 i got a letter through the door telling me i have a chance to get my surgery the year later on feb 5th 2018, so it was a long but exciting year i was waiting for and when the time arrived for my operation i had to go to the hospital alone from one country to another from scotland to england but it was all ok i got a flight to Gatwick Airport and then i got a taxi from the airport to the hospital i paid for the taxi but i was reimbursed when i got back home, i was in hospital on the 4th feb settled into my room and was not allowed solid foods or any fizzy drinks all i could take was water and jelly and on the 5th the day of my operation i was woken up to get ready to be taken to the theater where i was to be given my surgery to become female, when i awoke from my surgery i was groggy and disoriented but when i got my senses back i was ok, but during the night i had a few problems i don't know wat actually happened cause i was asleep but the nurses came into my room few times and told me i stopped breathing and they had to fix my oxygen in my nose it must of kept coming out or something they woke me up about 3 or 4 times that night saying i l kept stop breathing, but to me i just wished they would of stopped waking me up, But in the morning when i actually did wake up i got few sandwiches and a cup of tea then i had to go home that day what was a surprise to me after going through a major operation but i survived it and i went home to my family in inverness they took care of me until i could walk proper and get used to my new parts i was in pain for few weeks but i was on heavy painkillers and once i got all better i spent few more weeks in inverness with my family before i went home and once i was home i had to rearrange my Livingroom and put my bed in it so i was close to everything and i was in bed rest. and i had to get my birth certificate changed and i had to get every documents changed to female too,
CHAPTER 3 My Childhood And What I Experienced Growing Up
As a child growing up in the wrong body i got bullied a lot growing up only cause i wanted to be treated as a proper girl and i was beaten up everyday and i was called sissy and i was also called a tranny i never really had a childhood i was forced to grow up cause to my mum and dad i was their oldest son even tho i had 2 big sisters so i had to grow up it was very hard for me to try to be a boy and i failed to be one and my dad did tell me once if i ever came to his house dressed as a female he is not letting me and sending me home to get changed cause no son of his wears girls clothes so i had to wear boy clothes to go to my parents house, But with my new family i have in inverness i could wear dress or a skirt or any female clothes so i was happy when i was over their and they treated me like the girl i am and i should of been born like, i got makeovers and my hair done and i got a birthday party too it was brilliant the best birthday i have ever had in my entire life, all i am missing at the moment is a boyfriend and it is hard to find one who would like me for whom i am and not that i am transgender cause in life i have noticed if i went for a girl, Lesbian girls don't like Trans Females and if i went for a straight guy they won't want a trans female either so im stuck at being single but while time has passed i am getting into boys these days but i'm actually scared to let a guy even touch me, i will kiss and hug them and hold hands but i don't know about letting him fondle me i'm not at that point yet unless he can woo me off my feet for me to let him touch me.
TO BE CONTINUED .........
