High School Failure

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The principal’s office at Henrietta Orville High School for girls. The Principal and a mother have a conversation. In the background some girls sing the Snow White inspired school song.

- I’m sorry Mrs Anderson but I did warn you when you enrolled your son here at Henrietta Orville High School for girls that he most likely wouldn’t be able to graduate.

- But he so desperately wanted to attend and he really applied himself.

- I really am sorry. Young Taylor in most ways was a model student. He never wore an underly short skirt. His make-up couldn’t have been more appropriate for the courses and his comportment was everything we could have asked. Even teachers from neighboring schools said that he represented everything we stand for. The problem is that he wasn’t able to pass all the finals.

We both know that his real skill is in the applied courses and he didn’t do that well academically. However, he did pass all the written tests, even safety though only barely. I’m a bit concerned that his enthusiasm sometimes leads him to disregard safety. You know that the girls call him the “Rear Admiral”?

- Yes, his father was a naval officer and Taylor inherited his aggressiveness and tendency to charge regardless of consequences.

- Well, the Rear Admiral nailed that exam. His manual skills were well above average as well. As for the oral exam – well, Taylor exceeded anything produced in our school so far. The examiner was absolutely exhausted after Taylor’s exam. BUT - here’s the problem. There is absolutely no way we are going to graduate a student from HO HI that completely fails vaginal.

In the silence that followed the words of the school song could be heard distinctly and Mrs Anderson started to cry knowing that Taylor wouldn’t be there at the graduation ceremony to sing it with all his friends

Ho Hi, Ho Hi, Its to get them off we go!!
We fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
In our cunt the whole day through
To fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
Its what we like to do
It aint no trick
To get rich quick
If ya fuck fuck fuck
With a …

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Comments

Cute

This is delightfully silly.

Strange!

Blindsided me completely on that one!

Odd

Sara Hawke's picture

Odd

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Contemplation, yet duty
Death, yet the Force.
Light with dark, I remain Balanced.

War...

Daphne Xu's picture

... yet Peace
Jedi, yet Sith
Balance, yet imbalance

-- Daphne Xu

Mentally Following the Words

Daphne Xu's picture

"To get rich quick ... with a..." Those of us who followed the words and tune to that song winced, cringed, and maybe even screamed at the subsequent pair of nouns.

So apparently, young Taylor knew the importance of enjoying the journey itself, even if the end turns out anti-climactic. But couldn't they have given him a second chance? Perhaps exams on "Drilling" and "Ramming"? Perhaps a timed exam, testing his ability to hold out and maintain position under stress and pressure, before he finally succumbs? An applied Professional Responsibility exam, on his ability at gentleness and tenderness with clients?

I am curious. Did Taylor openly apply as a guy, or secretly disguised as a girl?
EDIT: Okay, I realize the opening lines answered that question.

Maybe Taylor should have instead attended the Harry Reems Acting and Filmmaking School for Boys.

-- Daphne Xu

Exams

Podracer's picture

Went back and read the other references in a different light. "Oral exam"?
Daft enough to forgive the profanity...

"Reach for the sun."

There's nothing to forgive

laika's picture

The profanity was 100% necessary, helping to make this story bold like it needed to be. If you're going to be obscene, chickenshit half measures won't do. That's why network television is so lame when they're trying to be risque without offending the blue-nosed guardians of decency. It winds up satisfying no one. This whole story was a gleefully perverse reversal of conventional morality, so of course the girls are going to sing fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck while the parents in the audience smile proudly like this is completely normal, so proud of their little slut-whores in training. It's so wrong it's somehow right; and nor is a bit of raunchy humor going to bring about the collapse of civilization or turn anyone into a depraved monster. Thanks for the laughs, MaryQ; and Welcome To The Monkey House! You're definitely in the right place...
~hugs, Veronica

The Tune

Daphne Xu's picture

Did you recognize the tune it was sung to? The original had, "dig, dig, dig, dig, ...".

-- Daphne Xu

Edit the double post

Podracer's picture

Oh yes, know the tune. I'll never watch the film scene again in the same way though ;-) heh.
There were some schoolyard alternatives around too about (cough) years ago.

Totally get the inclusion of the language too.

"Reach for the sun."

Momentarily Serious

Daphne Xu's picture

That's one reason I refuse to watch "A Clockwork Orange". I don't want to ruin some of my favorite music

-- Daphne Xu

Love it.

crash's picture

I love it too. Fun, short, and quite nasty.
Too bad young Taylor will not be allowed to matriculate.
Some young men just don't have what it takes to be a Ho Hi girl.

Your friend
Crash

Love it.

crash's picture

I love it too. Fun, short, and quite nasty.
Too bad young Taylor will not be allowed to matriculate.
Some young men just don't have what it takes to be a Ho Hi girl.

Your friend
Crash

Zoom

Right past me. Somewhere down by my ankles.


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

With a...

Daphne Xu's picture

"With a cactus or a prick", perhaps?

-- Daphne Xu