Mommy mommy, mommy, Ch 7

One evening the 3 of us were having a quiet evening when Pete asked me a silly question. He said he would bet that I couldn't throw a ball anymore. I said, "Well sure I can, I threw one when I was a boy. I had a pretty good arm, I recall."

He flipped a ball that he had been hiding towards me. For some reason I felt I needed to use both hands and I still missed it terribly. We both laughed and he said, "See, I knew it!"

"You said I couldn't throw it and besides I wasn't ready!" I playfully pouted.

"Okay, watch this," as I picked up the ball and tried to throw it to him but it went almost sideways and I ended up breaking a window. It shocked the both of us for a second until we both burst out laughing.

"OK, you win!" I admitted. "I can throw...like a girl who can't throw!" This was just another example of the thoroughness of Dr.Z’s commitment and skill.

After I apologized for breaking the window Pete pulled me to him and kissed me gently, then said, "Yes, yes you do throw like a girl, like some girls anyway, and I wouldn't have it any other way! Just don’t pout if I don't pick you for my softball team." I punched him in the arm. Then I kissed him.

I mentioned the whole "throw like a girl" scenario to Josie who then mentioned it to Dr.Z. Surprisingly, he called and said throwing a ball was never considered in the program but he was very interested in the mechanics; was it something physical from the hormones or was it an unconscious motion of the thrower? We tried to duplicate the female form as closely as possible which is why your movements, your walk and mannerisms are just like a genetically-born female. You didn't have to learn those unique mannerisms of the female gender, it just becomes you naturally."

Who knew this would be an interesting subject for the Dr. Now that he's told me about my movements I realized I had never “practiced" moving like a girl, it just happened. Amazing!

During dinner Pete asked me another interesting question. “Carli, since you didn't have an opportunity to truly experience girlhood do you think there anything you wished you could have done, like, say, being a Girl Scout or going to your prom?"

"Wow, this is something I need to think about it. Back then swimming was just about all I did."

It was hard to answer since before becoming a female things like that were not anything I even cared about. I did go to my prom, as a boy, of course. I remember my date was Barbara Simpson and I did all the stuff a guy was supposed to do, bought her a corsage, arranged a ride, and danced with her. It was nice, she was pretty, but I guess even then it didn't seem so important. We kissed a bit and that was it. Now that I think about it I guess if I could turn back the clock I do wish I could have gone to my prom as a girl. I've looked at prom dresses in catalog and they certainly are pretty, very feminine, and it would have been fun to put a look together.

"Put a look together?" he asked.

"You know, the whole works, like a princess! Elaborate hair, mani-pedi and makeup, a beautiful, flowing pink prom dress with lots of lace or ruffles or both, and very high heels."

"You sound lovely, as usual!"

"A handsome date would complete it. Perhaps a nice young man like, perhaps you, would greet me, attach a corsage to my wrist and then twirl me around the dance floor."

"Well maybe we could try that sometime," said Pete. "Maybe not a prom but someplace elegant with a live band and you dressed just like that. I could rent a tux. I can picture how beautiful you would be! Truly a beautiful woman with a soul to match. I can't believe you married me."

Well, you guessed it, my tears were flowing! "Pete, I feel the same about you. I married an exceptionally caring, peaceful and wonderful husband."

I leaned over and kissed him. "You are so nice to me, a woman couldn’t ask for more, believe me. Not only are you going to marry me even though I was born male but you fully accept Josette as your own. For that alone I would love you forever!"

My baby was now 2 months old and Josette has changed so much in that time. Before she was just a wrinkly bag of wiggles and now she holds her head up, looks around and recognizes me and her dad. I love it when she looks at me and I say her name. Then she smiles and her arms and legs get all bouncy like she is having lots of fun. She doesn’t really cry a lot unless she's hungry but then why wouldn't she?

I'm used to getting up at crazy hours to nurse her and changing diapers doesn't bother me although my little girl can fill'em up quick. She usually has her nap times at pretty consistent hours so I can get other things done while she sleeps.

Holding her is the greatest feeling in the world. I continue marveling that this little, squealing, giggling monkey of love really grew up inside me and then she decided when she'd had enough being cooped up inside me and squirmed her way out of my uterus and into the world.

The nursing aspect is way more emotional that I thought. Her nutrition is, of course, essential and that I am the source creates a bond between her and me that is beyond food, it forms a bond of love and trust between the two of us. As soon as her lips touch my nipple I become serene. It is almost a trance, this exchange of energy that flows between us as if we were one again.

Josie and Sam came by for another visit. She said everything is good with Michael and that he is really taking responsibility in helping raise his son. Good for him! She also said things at Room 01 is doing well. 3 of the group are all 100% behind the system. She said Erica is quite advanced in her learning and is quite pretty although a bit chubby. Jerry was hesitant at first and thought this was all a crazy thing to do but now goes by Jeri and is starting to dress in a feminine style. She insists on her pronouns be "she" and "her". Willy hasn’t changed his name or his pronouns and still dresses like a guy but that doesn't really signify anything right now. The status of the remaining two, after one left early in the program, is still iffy but that they are still attending sessions means a lot. Dr.Z. as he does, keeps making improvements to the overall program. One of those changes could help Erica become more slender if she so desires. I was glad to hear that the doctor is getting much more recognition for his works. Based on his efforts other researchers are using his basic program to pursue such ideas as modifying height, hair growth, and a much-debated subject of skin color and ethnicity. Dr. Z. has allowed almost all of it except for the skin color/ethnicity idea.

I happened to run into Devin by accident while I was out shopping. He saw me before I could hide from him. I was not interested in seeing him at all but he came up to me an acted like we were old friends. He asked what I was up to. I told him, "Not much, just had a baby and now I'm getting married."

By the look on his face I could tell that he was disappointed. I had purposely avoided his phone calls since our last interaction when I told him he had to leave. "Um, well, congratulations are in order. Who's the lucky guy?" he asked.

"Nobody you know." I wasn't in the mood to deal with him so I just it short and said, "Sorry, I don't have time to talk," and abruptly left. My life was simply wonderful and I didn't want to waste any time dealing with him.

Wedding

Josette is 6 months old now. Our wedding is modest at 50 people or so, just some friends and relatives, mostly Pete's. Josie was my Maid of Honor, of course, and Erica and Jeri were bridesmaids along with Connie and Trina, nieces of Pete's. I decided I wanted to wear a full-length wedding dress and I got my wish. It belonged to Pete's ex-wife and she had spared no expense and had left the it at their house when she ran off with some guy she met in a bar. It's hard to believe someone would leave Pete. Her loss was definitely my gain. Bare-shouldered with a lacy bodice, very full skirt and train the dress fit me quite well and Practical Pete, knowing that the dress had cost a fortune, thought he might as well hang on to it, just in case. I'm glad he did. Perhaps I will pass it along to Josette, eventually.

I was so nervous walking down the aisle. I was on the arm of Dr.Z! I was surprised he agreed to give me away but he was smiling the whole time. He really is a softy, a sweetheart under all those science-y brains.

When I saw Pete at the altar my heart literally skipped a beat. I was so happy to be his bride. In a daze I just let the ceremonies take care of themselves. What I do remember is when he slipped the ring on my finger, lifted my veil and, as I closed my eyes, he planted the softest, most gentle kiss on my lips. Then he whispered in my ear, “I will always love you, my precious, no matter what. I promise!"

The rest of the ceremony was just a dream. All I could think of is how my life has changed in just a matter of a couple years. I certainly would have never thought I would be looking into a husband's eyes hearing and saying those magic words, "I do!"

When walking down the aisle after the ceremony I looked around and saw so many smiling faces. As I mentioned, most of them I didn't even know since they were Pete's friends and family but everyone truly seemed to be almost as happy as I was. It was a glorious day!

The bridal suite which Pete arranged was decorated professionally by a wedding planner. It was so romantic and every girl's dream, I am sure. I have been patiently waiting for this day for months partly because it meant Pete wouldn't have to wear a condom anymore. I had 3 periods since the birth. I was late a couple times and I was both wishing I was pregnant again and hoping I wasn't. I felt It was too soon. My OB said everything looks good down there so my chances of getting pregnant were very high. I was quite happy when she told me that!

After the wedding I went to our Bridal Suite, alone, and looked at myself in the mirror. I had never looked this pretty before. Being a bride is the ultimate in femininity and I felt I had reached it. I was playfully thinking I wish I could look like this all the time. Yeah, right, I could just see me still dressed in my wedding gown dealing with a couple of babies!

My hair, makeup, dress and all shoes were all perfect for the occasion thanks to Josie and a couple of the gals from the program. I never wanted to take it off but I knew I had to eventually. I stood on the balcony and some people saw me and waved and I waved back and blew kisses to them. I truly felt like a princess!

Pete came in about a half hour later with a bottle of champagne. He said we needed to go to the reception; everybody was waiting for me. I kissed him gently but I was afraid to mess up my lipstick before I got to the reception. I knew that later today my lipstick would be all smeared by my husband. My husband! I could hardly wait for that! Taking Pete's arm with one hand and gathering my train and hem I carefully headed down the stairs. No one wants to see the bride taking tumbling down down the stairs! At the bottom were all my friends with my Maid-of-honor, Josie holding Josette while Michael held Sam. Dr.Z. was with his wife who I hadn't seen since Josie's first baby shower. I wondered secretly if maybe she may have been a male who had been an early test case for Dr. Z. Anyway, Mrs. Z was very nice to all of us. There were a couple of the new girls from the latest class in the program, Paulette and Samantha, both very nervous attending a fancy occasion for their first taste at socializing as females. They both looked looked very cute and girly. They were air kisses all around!

As we entered the reception an older lady came up with a teenage boy and younger girl. They smiled at me and I stared at them for a few seconds before I realized it was my mom, Wendy, younger brother, Adam, and my little sister, Jenny. I was so stunned. My mom, who looked much older than I remembered, just 3 years ago, was in tears and so I started to cry also, of course.

"I know we lost track of you and we don't blame you for leaving. Your dad was a mean, spiteful man and the world is a better place now," said my mom.

"Dad's dead? That's a good thing, isn't it?"

And all 3 of them nodded yes. I hugged them all and it felt so good to have a family again.

"How did you find me?" I wondered.

Adam waved his hand and said, "I'm pretty good with computer stuff, it wasn't hard. You sure look different now, you're a girl, you even have boobs, are they real?"

I said, "I know! I am different. I not only have boobs but I have a baby too! Isn't it great!" Mom, you're a grandmother now, Adam, you are an uncle and Jen you are going to love being an aunt.

Jen said, "You're so pretty! Lots prettier than me, that's no fair!"

Mom said, "Jen, you two look just alike. Now I have two beautiful daughters!"

"This is wonderful to see all of you and I'm so glad you came, what a wonderful surprise!"

"Oh, family, I want you to meet my husband, Peter Rogers but just call him Pete. Pete, this is my family, surprise!"

"Hi, family. Mrs. Thomas, my wife and I are booked up tonight! he winked, but let's get together tomorrow night for dinner and you can all get caught up...oh, that is if it's alright with the Mrs.!"

I pinched him in the arm playfully after that remark and said, “Great idea! We will call you later." We exchanged numbers and then walked into the ballroom as a family. What a joy!

The reception was all a blur. Pete took my hand, twirled me around and we started our wedding dance. Soon Michael, then
Dr Z., asked to cut in, again surprising me. I had never seen him this sociable and happy. I finally had to take off my heels. Next I danced with both Sam and with Josette.

I even got my little brother to dance with me. "No way!" he insisted but everybody was encouraging him. He finally took my hand and he led me around the floor with a goofy smile on his face. I pecked his cheek when we parted and he started to act like he was embarrassed. I reminded him I was his big sister and he said, "Yeah, you sure make a better sister than a brother; he was always picking on me." And then surprised everyone when he pecked my cheek as well. He likes the new me! Thinking back I guess I was a bit tough on my little brother but
I'm sure that was a result of the way my dad treated me, and I probably just passed it on.

Pete and I cut the beautiful cake. I fed him a small piece, he fed me, and he left a big dollop of frosting on my lips which he quickly licked off and made the guests howl with laughter. My husband was full of good fun!

Leaving the festivities we got the proverbial tossing of the rice as Pete and I headed for our Honeymoon Suite, at last! Pete even picked me up and carried me over the threshold. How romantic was that! Finally alone, I went to him, put my arms around his neck and he pulled me close and said, "Congratulations, Mrs. Rogers, the love of my life. This is forever, you and I and a houseful of kids, right?"

I squeezed him tighter and said, "Yes, yes my love. Forever I am yours and you are mine!

"Now let's go get started making babies!"

He helped me take my beautiful wedding dress off and I stood before him in my bridal lingerie. He grinned from ear to ear and said, "What did I do to deserve to be married to such beauty?"

"Basically, you showed up," I kidded. With that he slid my underslip and panties down and I stood there in just my stockings and garter.

"Let's leave those on, OK?" he asked.

"Whatever you desire, husband of mine," as I knelt down and unzipped his fly. It was time to thoroughly smear my lipstick as I took him in my waiting mouth. I took my time, we had all night. I was careful not to get him too excited as I had other plans for his seed. He lifted me to the bed and I laid on my back, and I was wide open to him. He crawled up to me and laid on top. I really liked him on top of me, his heat, his strength, his scent were what I craved. We kissed long and passionately. I reached down and grasped his hardness and led him into my moist folds. He entered slowly, but deeply, with his entire length into my depths. No condom! It felt so perfect! We now knew each others moves and pleased each other with our love. I began feeling that wave of pleasure washing up from my toes to my head but centering on my womb. A glorious electricity washed though me as his movements became deeper and faster until I felt him pulsing inside me! I pulled him up tightly and wrapped my legs around him to send him even deeper as we both climaxed as one. Afterwards, I pictured his sailors heading for the prize deep inside me. I really wanted another baby!

Our first love making as husband and wife was extremely romantic and we eventually fell asleep, naked in each others embrace.

For our honeymoon, we decided on a trip to Hawaii. Since the weather was cold here it made it even better. Josie was more than happy to sit for Josette for a week. Naturally I had never been there either but Pete had. We stayed at a very nice resort hotel and, with the weather so warm, I wore a swimsuit most of the time, even though I brought a couple of nice, breezy dresses. About the only time I didn't it was because Pete would peel the swim suit off of me as soon as we entered our suite.

Before we left on our Hawaii trip I mentioned to Josie was that one of the bikinis I got was rather, how you say, skimpy. After I texted her a photo of it she said, "Girl, if you hadn't done so you better get a 'Brazillian'. I asked what that was and she texted me a photo. “Oh my, god! Really, do women really do this?" I asked.

Josie said, "Oh sure, you can even have it done in a salon."

"You mean I have to pay someone to do this?"

"Only if you want, I do mine myself."

"You do this? Regularly?"

"Well boyfriend likes it very much."

"Oh, I'm beginning to get it now. Thank you for telling me, Josie, I think!"

"Actually I was going to have it done before my delivery but, well, you know what happened," she said, referring to her passing out and delivering prematurely.

"I only shaved there because my OB told me I needed to for my delivery so I did. I didn't know other girls do it for other reasons, like a sex thing or fashion. You really think I need to because of the cut of this bikini?"

"I'm no expert but I'd say so. Besides I'm sure Pete would like it, in fact I am sure he would."

"Well I already bought this bikini so I guess I should wear it. I don't know about in public, though."

"Well if you don't want to go to a salon it's easy enough to do
yourself or have Pete help. I'm sure he wouldn't mind," she said.

"That's a good idea, thank you again, Josie."

When Pete came home I brought up the idea and he was more than willing to help with this. "It would be my pleasure, my darling. You know I would do anything for you."

I admit it was fun, after all. It was quite an interesting thing to do and I admit it looked real nice being all smooth down there. Pete was very pleased with his work. When he was done I tried on that bikini and Pete was quite pleased. Once again, Josie was so right and being smooth down there made a big difference.

After our honeymoon trip we settled into our daily lives. Pete continued to offer his skills to whoever needed it plus he worked on our new house as well as my mom's. His energy was remarkable.

Josette and I spent hours together learning the complexities of the mother/daughter lives.

It was quite an education to raise a baby, I found out, but it was always a joy to be with her.

Pete and I explored our sex life and our lovemaking was even more intense than before. Pete was so intent yet gentle. We also began to try positions we had never done before and tried things I didn't know were possible. I also had purchased what I thought were ‘sexy' undergarments and Pete liked those but not as much as me being naked for him. As his wife I felt it was my duty to please him physically as much as possible and I think I was succeeding! My life was everything I hoped it would be.

One day after our return Josie called and said, "You aren't going to believe this...we had a new applicant today and you will never guess."

"Well don't keep me in suspense because I will never guess."

"I'm not sure how you will take this but it was none other than the Clam Queen, himself."

"What, Duane, my ex-roommate?"

"None other," she said.

"What the heck is he doing there?"

"Well, as we both know, he no longer had his 'pride and joy' but just a facsimile of a vagina."

"You don't mean he wants to go through the program, he wants to become a complete female and have babies?

She said, "I guess he has turned a new leaf." She emailed me a copy of the video which every prospective applicant must provide. Duane’s video shows a large, not attractive person with whisker growth and layers of poorly applied makeup. Using his high, squeaky, little girl voice, which was part of the change I had foisted on him, he said that he was a changed person and would like to apply to the program and become a total woman and start having babies. He said he didn't know how or why he is in the predicament he is in now but has heard of this
program and thought it might work for him.

Josie said Dr Z. was wary of bringing Duane into the program mainly because of his history of abuse, whether Duane was aware of being abusive or not. I would certainly agree with that, specifically because of my ex-roommate's demeanor and temperament.

Josie told him that enrollment was at capacity and were not accepting new recruits, therefore, he wouldn't be allowed. It didn't take too long for Duane to show his true self as he starting yelling and knocking things off the desks. Josie called the campus cops but he stormed off, swearing and slamming doors, shrieking in his high-pitched little girl voice. Hopefully that would be the last time anyone sees him again.

Josie also asked about my family. "I saw you greet them at the reception but didn't know who I didn't know who they were or if you were in contact with them."

"Well, I wasn't until then. My younger brother tracked me down, being a computer whiz and all. My mom was trying to contact me because my dad had finally died and the family now felt liberated. Let's just say my dad will not be missed, by anyone. Anyway, my brother somehow found out about my transition and the wedding so they just showed up, unannounced. At first I was shocked since I didn't know what their reaction to me would be but it turned out fine and it was so good to see them all. I didn't invite them to begin with because I figured my dad wouldn't let them go anyway and he certainly wouldn't have anything to do with me. He would have called me a bunch of awful things and probably beaten the tar out of me. Thankfully the rest of my family pretty much accepted me as who I am now which made me quite happy. My mom was thrilled to find out she was now a grandma. I told Josie, "Hey, we are going to meet them tomorrow night at his nice restaurant, Platters, so please join us. I can get a sitter for our kids and the dinner is on us." She said she had heard about this place and would be looking forward to it.

My family was certainly intrigued with me, for obvious reasons. I give them credit for not making a big deal about it, even though it really was. My little sister seems to like having a big sister even though I haven't been one for very long. I am so happy she's treating me like this and I'll try to be the best big sister, ever! My brother, the brainiac, treats all this like a video game and to him all I did was just switch sides. I thought that was a good comparison and, to him, I am just a different avatar. Still, he looks me over pretty well, not sure exactly how to treat me. He did say, "Now that you're a girl I bet I can beat you in the pool now!" 2 years ago I would beat him swimming with one arm, by at least a half a lap. "Well, we will just have to find out someday, won't we? Just don't get too upset when a girl beats you!"

"You're on!" he said. "But you have an unfair advantage with your floatation devices!" He was referring to my boobs which did seriously change my swimming style but I let him think he was right.

My mother is a changed woman. I guess that makes two of us in the family. She is so pleased to be a grandma that she held Josette the whole time at dinner, cooing, kissing, and doting over her granddaughter. She leaned over to me during the dinner and said, “JT, oops, I mean Carli, Josette is a beautiful baby. I am so happy and proud of you!"

"Oh, mom, thank you so much! Coming from you makes it even more special. I"m glad I could give you a grandchild!" I didn't mention who the daddy is, and she didn't ask. She probably assumed Pete was the father.

She was always a good mom to all of us kids. She protected us as much as she could from dad at her own peril. I know she has questions regarding me but she is so happy her kids are all back together and doesn't want anything to change that. When I told her that Jodie also used to be male and went through the same process as me her eyes got huge and said, "Well you, um, girls sure know how to make cute babies. I love them both!" We all laughed.

Pete was pretty quiet all evening. He just sat, listened quietly and smiled a lot. I think he was glad for me and my family and thrilled to be a part of it but he was glad when the others left and we could be alone. We made love again, and again. While he certainly seems virile he is also the most kind, thoughtful and generous person I have ever or will ever know. He makes it his duty to make sure I orgasm during our lovemaking. I thank him for that, every time!

One evening, as we were both laying in bed after making love Pete suggested, since my lease is up anyway that maybe the three of us should move to a bigger place or even a different town. He has no ties to where he lives now, the same as me. He can do his work no matter where he lives. On top of that he suggested my family should move here, too. Maybe not the same house but close enough so I could spend more time with them.

I had never thought I would be in a position to actually look for a house that I could call my own. The first priority was number of bedrooms and they were dependent on the size of our own family. We already need at least 2 bedrooms but do we need more than that? I never really thought about how many more kids we wanted. Even if I am already pregnant with another one on the way, hopefully I think I still might want to get pregnant at least two more times. I realize that just having one more is a really big deal but after knowing what it is all about, I am more convinced that I was born to procreate. A 4 or 5 bedroom house with a large yard in a good neighborhood, close to schools and close to mom sounded like what we needed. Thinking about it was the easy part. Now we had to find this perfect home.

This all came as a bit of a surprise, especially the having my family move here part. Was that something I wanted? Mom didn't work but did volunteer work and received my dad's pension. Adam was graduating from high school so he might be leaving anyway or maybe he'd attend college here. I think Jen would love to be hanging out with her big sis. Bless Pete's generous heart!

When I called mom about Pete's suggestion she was ecstatic! She and my siblings were back in Barstow and she knew she would get lonely with Adam leaving for college and Jen leaving soon after. She was glad my dad was gone but she really didn't have many friends, well, dad had friends and they were all she knew. Bringing the family together again would be an excellent way to end this story.

Leave it up to Pete. In just a matter of a few days he found the perfect places. He wanted me to see for myself. He was teasing me the whole time as he pointed out all sorts of houses, some were huge, some were tiny, some needed fixing up and some looked brand new. Finally he pulled up to this very handsome house that looks like it would be in a fancy magazine. It has 5 bedrooms, 3 baths, a view of a lake and some property. With the Ames household hopefully growing in size it only made sense. Add that the property had the smaller 2 bedroom house on the property as well as a shop for Pete which made it all so perfect!

Of course Pete took care of all the details and hired a couple friends to help move our respective belongings to our new house. He also hired them to move my mom and sis to their new place. Adam was already getting established in the dorm and was just 20 miles away from us.

After the move it took some time for Pete's family of rescued pets to get used to us and us to them. I never had a pet before so it was a learning experience for me and Josette.

I even helped Pete with some of the repairs. Well, mostly what I did was hold a flashlight or hand him some tools but at least It felt like I was helping. I even pounded a nail once but I had to use two hands to hold the hammer and he got a big laugh from that.

Looking back, It's quite amazing the turns my life has made. Going from a skinny kid who's only plan was to make the men's swim team to the loving, fertile mother of who knows how many kids I'll end up bearing is nothing if not astounding!

Having my mom around has been such a blessing. She loves being a grandma almost as much as I do being a mom and I learned so much about not just motherhood but also about being a woman and a wife. She and Pete get along great. His folks passed many years ago so he and mom have bonded.

My brother, Adam, enrolled in the same college as me and is now on the same swim team as I was, on full scholarship. My sister is a junior in high school is planning to travel for a year before starting college. She is gorgeous, by the way, with the body and flair of a fashion model.

I received some very sad news from Josie, however. One of the students in the program whom followed a few years after me, Erica, died in childbirth. Her baby girl, however, survived. Nevertheless the news struck all of us hard.

After she had finished the program we had started a nice friendship. She often called me or Josie with questions which we were more than happy to answer. Pete and I invited Erica and her boyfriend, Alex, over for dinner one night and we had a wonderful time. She was so sweet and we knew she would be an excellent mother.

Dr. Z. was devastated. Of course the odds of something like this happening was always a possibility but it's still a tragic shock. He asked Josie and I if we could go with him and meet with the dad. The dad, Alex, was stunned, to say the least, and totally unprepared for anything liken this to occur. As a group we decided that perhaps the best thing for all involved is have the baby put up for adoption. It was Pete, though, that suggested to me that maybe he and I should adopt the baby. I was shocked, at first, but after thinking about it it did
feel like the right thing to do.

Erica was eager to graduate from the program. According to Josie, Erica started wearing girl's clothes right away and always asked her about makeup tips and such. When I saw her at my wedding I did not recognize her at first. She had lost some weight before she got pregnant, looked wonderful and was the epitome of femininity. I was so happy for her.

While she was still enrolled in school she changed her major from music to dance, specializing in ballet. Pete and I attended when she starred in their class final. After the performance I talked to her about it and she said, "You know, Carli, the main reason I took up ballet was I so wanted to wear a tutu!" She laughed. She also ran for Homecoming Queen and won, of course! It's so hard to believe she's gone.

We, Dr. Z., Jodie, Michael, Pete and I all talked to Alex, Erica’s boyfriend, about his plans. He was distraught and told us he was going to ask her to marry him. He said he wanted to think he would care for his baby but he was very honest about it and knew he wasn't capable alone. He owned a small contracting business that was just getting successful. When we suggested that Pete and I adopt his daughter he was very relieved. "So I'll be able to visit her sometimes?" he asked. "Of course, you are her dad and we wouldn't want it any other way but you can be assured we will love her like our own."

We asked Alex if he had named the baby yet and he began to tear up. He said he and Erica had settled on Alexa which was Alex's grandmother’s name. We welcomed Alexa into our household which number 6 children as of now. Josette sort of assumed the role of caring for Alexa.

Josette is 12 now. My first baby. A truly nice girl with brains, looks and drive that will serve her well in her future. My second baby, my first boy, Mason, is going on 11 and seems to have the same skills as his father. He also has Pete's quick wit.

My third pregnancy really threw me for a loop, the Twins! Hazel and Jane. They are identical in looks and totally different in demeanor. They are only 9 years old and act like they own the world. Full of confidence but, while Hazel uses her words for attention, Jane uses her actions. Baby number 5 is son Wilson and just turned 6. He is very shy but quick-witted although a bit of a loner. He is my baby boy and we have bonded tighter than any of the others but he's no mama's boy, that's for sure. I gave birth to 5 healthy, handsome babies! What wonderful gifts to our life!

Am I done having kids? Well, I'm 35 now, Pete is 38. My OB said I could still have another one or two but that's about it. Pete and I talked about it. We obviously loved having a big family and my OB says I could handle it but when is enough enough? Adopting Alexa turned out to be the best of both worlds. We got to have a new baby in the house and was able to honor our lost friend, Erica, and help out her baby’s daddy, Alex.

Josie and Michael ended up with 2 more kids. Her first, Sam is 13. A fine, handsome, polite young man. Her second, another boy, Ramsey, is 10 and very athletic. Her third, a girl Hannah, was overdue and had to have a membrane sweep done which helped release the prostaglandin hormone. That stimulated her cervix and it initiated her labor. Hannah has a few issues. She has poor eyesight and a stutter so is quite reserved. Josie said she is done having babies. After Hannah she had her tubes tied but not because Hannah wasn't as perfect as her other kids. She said Hannah is perfect as she is. She just had had enough. I can't blame her at all for feeling that way. Childbirth certainly isn't easy, ever!

Sam and Josette used to play together quite a bit but they are getting to the stages where puberty starts interfering so things are getting awkward. That's life! That being said, Sam is very protective ofJosette. They pretty much grew up together so they are almost like brother and sister making the whole puberty thing more complicated.

Dr.Z has done very well. His treatment has won accolades and world-wide recognition. He even moved to his own clinic "above ground” as he remarks. There are so many of us mothers, and our children, who owe so much to his vision and dedication. I don't know where my life would have gone without him. Thank you, Dr. Zillow!

When I started in the program I had no idea my life would turn around like it has. Certainly there have been ups and downs. Raising one baby is a 24/7 responsibility. Raising 5 or 6 is a lifetime occupation. Diapers and teething are not exactly fun but a baby’s giggle or first words are something that strikes you deep inside your soul and something you cherish and don't want to miss. One day, when she was 4, I heard Josette yelling, "Mommy, mommy, mommy!" I panicked but I just reacted without any thought except for protecting "my baby”! It turned out that it was just about her fear of spiders. It was just one little thing but it could just as well been her falling and hurting herself or worse. To be able to pick her up, calm her, tell her it was ok and that I loved her always was just one precious minute out of many but some memories are forever.

My boobs are all saggy now, my nipples seem lower on my breasts from all my babies nursing. My stretch marks have stretch marks. I've put on some weight and I'm kidding myself if I think I'm going to lose any of it. Thankfully my wonderful husband says it just means there is more of me to love. It was all totally worth it, though. Would I do it all again? In a heartbeat!

In a few years from now I will stop being fertile. That is sad but menopause won't make me any less a woman. While periods were inconvenient they were always a signal that something miraculous might happen. In that way I will miss them. I will also miss watching my body change with every pregnancy. It is a testament to a woman’s tenacity and inner strength. The "Change" will, hopefully, be at a time when I will be too distracted by grandchildren of my own to dwell on not being able to get pregnant any longer. I know Pete is eager to have a bunch of grandkids piling up on top of him as he tells his amazing stories, dazzle them with his magic tricks or make them laugh with his corny jokes. Grampy Pete, the love of my life!

A final bit of joy. One day my son, Mason, came up to me and said, "Mom, when I grow up I want to be just like you, I want to have lots of babies."

I said, "Oh, I'm sure you will and you will be a wonderful dad."

"No, mom, not a dad, I want to be a mom just like you and have lots of babies!"

I hugged him close and said, "That makes me so happy, Mason! It is the best thing I have ever done and I'm sure you will make a wonderful, beautiful mother," as tears of joy filled my eyes, "and when you're old enough we'll go visit Dr Z." It is strangely wonderful that this incredible experience might repeat itself; A mother who used to be a man gave birth to a son who will become a daughter. What a wonderful, crazy, and precious life it's been!

The End

Notes: All characters and situations are purely fictional.

Dr.Z's program is a total fantasy although who knows what might happen in the future.

No offense intended to the city of Barstow. The name just popped into my head while writing this story.

This is my first attempt at writing a story like this and perhaps I made some grammatical errors, especially with punctuation and tense. My apologies.

I would appreciate comments and advice.