How Can I Be So Freakin' Dumb

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Sometimes you just don’t feel like making all that much effort. You know the feeling — when you know you should look good, but all you can manage is a brush or two through your hair and a little lip gloss. It’s the same thing with writing. You get a good idea for a story, sit down, and finger regurgitate onto the screen.

I’m more likely to heavily research a story before I start writing, but once in a while I’ll just wing it. The first two stories I entered in the Halloween contest were light-hearted affairs that took very little time or effort to construct.

And then the remorse hit me. I ALWAYS feel guilty if I don’t try my best to write a unique, enjoyable story.

I decided to put in the time and write a really good one. I had mentioned in a comment a few weeks ago that I thought Legend of Sleepy Hollow was a great Halloween story, but it had left a bad taste because the protagonist was a different sort of fellow who was picked on by the town bully and eventually driven away by the Meany. That struck a little too close to home, with the wrong people coming out on top. So I decided to change the story around.

I posted my story and sat back waiting for positive comments and tons of readers. Neither one happened. After three days I had three comments, about 700 hits and about 15 kudos. That was way below my expectations in all departments and far less than my two “fluff” stories. So I sent PMs to a number of people I respect who usually make astute observations. Their answers were like a primer on writing and marketing.

They said using Sleepy Hollow as a departure point was my first mistake. While Sleepy Hollow is required reading in most junior high literature courses in the U.S. it isn’t as well-known beyond our borders. Who’d of thunk that great slice of Americana wouldn’t be more well-known. Even the younger U.S. readers seem to have a hard time remembering it.

Several answered that the protagonist can’t be so despicable. I wanted the minister to be a male Cruella De Vil. The most despicable minister I can think of is Fred Phelps, so I used direct quotes from him for much of the dialogue. They reminded me that the reader wants to identify with the protagonist and most people don’t want to think of themselves as a bigot.

I was told in a PM that the mention of a minister character in the synopsis knocks down the number of readers. The religious right won’t read it because they assume the preacher will be treated poorly, and the liberals won’t read it because they have a general dislike of ministers and don’t want to read about them being heroic. Mostly — I don’t care for Bible-thumpers. I love truly religious people of all faiths, but can’t stand those who sell religion like snake oil. Next time — no ministers mentioned in the synopsis.

They suggested that if I wanted numbers I needed to avoid older characters and write magical stories.

Some mention was made of the efforts by several on BC to make the story lines more homogeneous. Several mentioned with chagrin the current ret.con fad which is pushing other efforts off the front page quicker. Some said the only stories that are being read are the serials, because there are so many of them that they're all people have time to read.

Surprisingly several of them suggested that the story being a Halloween story added to its lack of readership. Several of them said they don’t read Halloween stories.

They said I needed a punchier synopsis. My ego tells me that my by-line should be stronger than any synopsis after all these years, but obviously that isn’t so. I hate stories that are ruined by too much given away in the synopsis. It’s an art I haven’t mastered.

Several people told me that the title needed to be shorter. I normally use one to three word titles. This time I went a little crazy . . . and obviously paid the price with so few hits.

There were some technical things mentioned that I did wrong, but in general those discussions seemed to go toward personal preferences. For example, one person wanted me to use multiple POVs. I’ve done that in a number of stories, but really prefer a singular viewpoint.

One person mentioned that I hadn’t included the necessary tags to attract a large number of readers. Over a decade ago a dear friend told me she wrote certain things into her stories just to have more tags — to attract more readers.

They told me quite emphatically that the protagonist has to be the TG person. They said I had written a great story that happened to contain a TG person, which isn’t what people come to BC to read.

It was suggested the ratio of writers to readers was out of balance on BC in that we have too many writers, so everyone is spending their time on their stories and have little time for reading.

They reminded me that many times the success of a story has more to do with how long your story stays at the top of the story list on the front page. Mine was bumped quite quickly.

They told me that quirky stories don’t make it on BC. I’ve noticed this before. A couple of years ago I wrote a story that I think is one of my best “An Affair of the Harte”. Many of the better authors on BC said it was excellent, but overall it didn’t fair well. I posted it on FM and it got no comments.

I’ve received PMs suggesting that maybe this site has swung toward magic and sci-fi, much as FM has. I’ve seen these trends before and things will swing back.

One person told me the story was too cerebral, which I hope is not the case. I understand that BC is a place for escape from reality — and that’s okay.

It was suggested by a dear friend that I suffered from a “perfect” storm of a combination of factors.

I’ve told others many times that the number of hits, comments, and kudos a story receives are no indication of the quality of a story. Intellectually I know that is true, but it still hurts when something like this happens.

The bad part is this — the next time I’m faced with the decision to really give an effort, or to toss out a piece of fluff, where is the motivation going to come from to make an effort? I suppose it will come from those few comments that are meaningful.One of those who told me she enjoyed the story was an author I’ve admired for years. Just that one PM made the effort worthwhile.

I guess what I’m really taking away from this is to constantly ask myself who I’m writing for, not only to make the story relevant to them, but to create expectations that are realistic. I can't force those who want magical stories to read mine, I don't expect them to. I'm just lucky to have an appreciative audience. Sometimes an audience of one should be (and is) enough.

Jill

Comments

I read the story...

No - I wasn't one of the early readers (During the week, I find it tough, but I see things I might find interesting and save the list - to hit over the weekend. I do read a few things during the week - normally short stuff.)...

As you indicated, the story was NOT intended to be light and fluffy. And, it wasn't! It DID have a Science Fiction hook, though... LOL. But, some readers may not have gotten that far, and they might have bought the rationalization of the protagonist.

Hopefully you continue to write stories you put effort into and continue posting them here.

Thanks,
Anne

Why do you write?

>>the next time I’m faced with the decision to really give an effort, or to toss out a piece of fluff, where is the motivation going to come from to make an effort?

Doesn't that depend on why you go to the effort of writing? If you need an ego stroking, write so-called "fluff" (that's your term, not mine). If you want to tell a good story, and hone your craft, then tell it your way, and although it may reach a smaller audience, perhaps that audience will be more discerning, and what the stroking lacks in quantity, it may make up in quality :)

You're Right Misty

You quoted a part of a paragraph. The second part of that paragraph seems to agree with your point.

"I suppose it will come from those few comments that are meaningful. One of those who told me she enjoyed the story was an author I’ve admired for years. Just that one PM made the effort worthwhile."

I believe writing should be personal between the reader and the writers. When Jenny Walker was an active member of the community I had a great relationship with her. I imagined her as my reader. It made it so much easier to write than it is now -- when I'm trying to write for a group.

Your remarks are salient. I hope a lot of writers read them and understand.

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

I need salt for the foot in my mouth.

Jill...I was one of those you talked to about the story and I came into it late for it's posting but honestly I didn't give it or you the respect this piece deserves. You made me feel so strongly in a negative way about the main character it colored my reactions.
Looking at it now later I was so wrong about some things on a lot of levels.

I hope you know how hard that is to do.
I hope those skimming this blog realize how hard that is to do.

And next time I'm promising to sit and actually think about what some one wrote a lot harder next time they ask me my opinion.

Bailey Summers

There were so many thing to love ...

... about the story, and yet when I wrote you my PM, I didn't even tell you I enjoyed it. I liked watching the action unfold through his eyes, loved seeing his failings reflected in the people around him (since he was quite incapable of seeing them himself), and enjoyed watching his reaction to what the aliens considered "first contact."

I do have to admit to feeling sorry for him at the end, because even though he was so very wrong about so many things, he didn't wind up learning anything from his time in the town or his very-nearly-too-close encounter.

Keep following your own muse, and the readers will always come. *hugs*

Randa

I am slack at commenting...

Due mostly to just not having time. I have too much going on in life and I try to read most stories -- unless the tags warn of things I "Do not want!" before I open it. However, there are authors (you're one) that I open their stories in other tabs in my browser to read later, and I do get to them, I know I'm going to read all the way through those. But by the time I read them it's usually a week or more after it's been posted and the comment frenzy has already died down. Most stories I read part of to see if I think I'll like it. If I think I will, it goes in the extra tab queue to be read later, if not, it gets closed. Either way, I don't comment often. Which I do feel guilty about, by the way.

When I comment, I try not to make it just, "Hey, good story," but instead attempt to give specific praise (or critique) of the story. When I read it a week or more after it's been posted, most of the time what I wanted to say has been said in other comments... I don't wanna be the girl just saying, "Dude... ditto."

So much to talk about...

So much to talk about... choices:

I'll go in order. For the most part, there could be any number of reasons that you haven't received comments, pm, hits, kudos. Everything you mentioned could be the culprit, or it could be something entirely different and simple, which you have no control over. Here's a couple more:

Time of the year: Granted I haven't been around BC for years, but last year at this time I was going through a similar drop in comments/hits, etc. Perhaps people have better (healthier)things to to while the weather is moderate than sit in front of a computer. I know I've been out tending yard and getting my house ready for winter for most of my spare time over the last few weeks.

Popular contest that involves money:
Everybody and their brother (sister) joined in on this one, early on. Tons of stories came out the first two weeks, saturating the front page. That's what it was suppose to do (provide more and diverse entertainment for the masses). I'm not blaming the contest, but it's still a factor to take into account all the same, much like every other innocuous bit of information. This last weekend was massive for the release of stories and blogs, I had something like 160+ feeds in my RSS from BC Fri-Sun. It's like crazy productive time.

Oh, there's another: Writing instead of reading. When people are being this productive then they aren't necessarily taking the time to read every story out there and are a lot pickier about what they choose to spend reading.

My point being is that it could be all of the things you mentioned or none of them, and you're being too hard on yourself over a single story. Now, if this is a growing trend, like five or six stories in a row, then there might be something you need to look into in regards to your writing/subject matter/presentation/etc. to find out what changed and if you want to adjust it or not.

Sidenote: And people need to get over the whole "RetCon is destroying my interwebs" thing. There has been a grand total of one story published in the last two weeks... I think. Maybe two. Said fad is over when production comes to a trickle. :)

Oh, there's another one: Maybe it's me. But has anyone noticed the increased levels of negativity recently, say over the last month? It used to be that I would open up the front page and see several announcements about positive events in people's lives, or a plethora upbeat stories, etc. Now it's... bleh. Disconcerting. Economy, politics, neighbor's dog yapping at three in the morning? Turn that frown upside down! (okay, I annoyed myself with that one.) Perhaps people are just in the dumps and aren't deriving the pleasure out of reading as they normally do. What's something positive that's happened recently?

~Lili

Blog: http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/lilith_langtree

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

I'll admit I had to reread

Zoe Taylor's picture

I'll admit I had to reread it and really seperate my initial gut reaction. I had to ask myself why I felt how I did, and I found some intriguing answers, which I posted in the short version as a comment, though Jill got the long version privately. :-)

I'm certainly not the author Jill mentions at the end admiring for years, to clear up any confusion on anyone's part there :-D But in the end, I really enjoyed the story because of the combination of its inspiration from Sleepy Hollow, its overarching "dark" feel, and the fact that I felt so moved by the main character.

Personally, I don't feel that the TG character should always be the main character, either. I realize people come here to escape for a few hours - I do too. Just read my blog and you'll find hours of endless ranting :-P But the subtlety of Lawrie's presence left as much of an impact as anything.

The story mentions, as the "Good" Reverend is picketing outside her cafe, that she doesn't look upon him with hatred or malice. She feels sorry for him. She forgives him. She really is the protagonist of the piece, but it's presented in a subtle way.

At the end of the day, I can understand the myriad reasons people choose to read or not read a piece of fiction. A lot of you would look at me like I'm some kind of freak if I told you that my absolute favorite fictional universe is a video game universe called Silent Hill because it's a cerebral, dark place where there are no "heroes", and nobody comes out of it "better".

I like dark once in awhile, so I loved this story. I think it struck a chord with me on that level. I loved Lawrie and pitied her, and by the end, I felt sad for both the ex-minister and the townspeople. They were, after all, no better than him. Nobody came out smelling like roses except for Lawrie because she never felt the need to stoop to the level of either the minister, or the pranksters (Or the aliens ;-))

Anyway, I'll shut up before I ramble any longer. Really, if you're into Halloween stories that unnerve or unsettle you at all, if the only problem is that the main character is a minister, then you should still give the story a chance when you have time. If dark and creepy's not your thing? That's cool too :-D

With respect,
~Zoe

* * *

"Zoe, you are definitely the Queen of Sweetness with these Robin stories!"
~ Tychonaut

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Over reaction?

Jill you know I love your stories but this one isn't one of my favourites for some of the reasons you mention above (who's Fred Phelps and what's Sleepy Hollow? I'm British :) ) and as I mentioned in an IM. However I think you're over reacting.

Now I'm sure she'll slay me for this but I'll say it anyway - cyclist is, IMO, one of the best new writers on here right now. Her stories are tough to read emotionally, non-magical, no SF and very gripping. The last chapter (18) of her serialised story Viewpoint (posted at least daily, so not much hanging about) has garnered 25 kudos, 477 accesses and 4 comments. Your Sleepy story has 37 kudos, 953 accesses and 12 comments plus 3 of your own responses. I think that's pretty good.

I suspect cyclists limited readership has a similar cause to yours here. She's a member of the BC Taffioisi :) (ie she's Welsh like a few of the best British writers here) so her cultural baggage appeals more to Brits (even we English slobs) than the much larger (I assume) US audience. I suspect the different response may reflect the proportion of US to UK readers - perhaps?

However, you're both excellent writers and I, for one, will continue to read everything you choose to post. If I actually really like everything either of you post is, of course, a different matter. Even if the story isn't to my taste I know I'll be entertained by quality English be it from any side of the Atlantic.

You can't win 'em all, Jill. Even Arnold Bennett wrote some stinkers and I love most of his novels.

Robi

I read the story

gave it a kudo, and left a comment. sorry that not enough people did. Me, I know I dont receive (or in all honesty deserve to receive) as much positive feedback as others, but I do appreciate what I get.

DogSig.png

Haven't read it yet, but...

...just write and publish whatever motivates you at the time. If you're in the mood for writing a quick tale, do it! If you're in the mood to spend more time crafting a story designed to appeal to a broad audience, do it!

We have been a bit inundated with halloween entries recently, and before that the CRU / Center double-act. So while we're having a season of high productivity, don't be surprised if any story falls off quite quickly in terms of statistical measures of appreciation. However, don't despair too much - as long as it's in your story hierarchy, there's a chance people will return to it or discover it for the first time during a quiet period, after reading something else of yours.

As for the Sleepy Hollow "mistake", while the book isn't well-known internationally, there was a film made of it by the Tim Burton / Johnny Depp double-act which did pretty well at the box office (well, it managed to reach the single screen cinema in Aberystwyth, where I saw it, and remain there for at least a week - the average stay for a blockbuster [of course, a film about a sinking boat did better - 3 weeks]).

As for the other comments, feel free to get constructive criticism from your contacts if a story 'bombs', but don't feel you have to take on every single piece of advice offered. So what if the protagonist themselves isn't TG? If the TG character is a very significant major character, it provides a fresh angle. Multiple PoV? "Bike" is written entirely from a single PoV and has been doing pretty well...

Just write what feels comfortable for you, and spend as much or as little time on it as you wish.

-oOo-
As for why I haven't read it yet, I'm hoping to devour a batch of halloween tales this weekend. Weeknights tend to be busy with reading series and visiting other web sites etc.

 

Bike Resources

There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...

As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

The last time I was ...

... in the cinema in Aberystwyth I was on honeymoon. Let's see, that would be about 43 years ago and, no, I can't remember what the film was. I just remember we went to the early showing as we had something to do later ;)

Robi

I think you know the answer

kristina l s's picture

Mostly due to my personal space in recent times I've read very little, I think there's 3 of yours now to catch up on and Cyclist as Rob says that I'm sure I'll like, recent parts of serials and others I'm sure. The story is what it is and when they come you just have to go with them. Sure you can polish and tweak and try to make it as perfect as possible but at heart it's the initial inspiration. If I write I try to make it the best story I can, regardless. Whether that be with editorial assistance from you or winging by myself. I know you do the same.

It is for ourselves...but then it is for the audience and we hope to get some response, preferably positive, but not essentially. No matter how inured to limited 'love' we still seek approval especially perhaps from those we respect or admire. Which does not diminish the pleasure a compliment from a relative stranger can give. Otherwise as some have said, we need not publish it at all, just the writing would suffice. The point is to share our thoughts and have someone say, ah, I get it.

Do what you do, there'll always be an audience. Might be Arthouse rather than Multiplex, but hey...

Kristina

I Always Read An "Angela Rasch" Story

joannebarbarella's picture

I don't always like the content but I know that I'm going to be reading a clearly and cleverly written story. It's funny but Jill is concerned about the somewhat cool reception to her latest and in my opinion she shouldn't be.

Now I'm obviously not a realiable indicator of a story's popularity because I like the "Myth" much better than her previous two entries for the Halloween contest,"Blue*Whether*" and "Jason".

In "Whether" I had a severe personal distaste for the Joshua character morphing from an arrogant bully into a loving boyfriend and the Brandon character's acceptance of his forced transformation into submissive girlfriend.

In "Jason" I had a somewhat different disconnect with Jason/Jennie's somewhat abrupt transference of her affections to Chad, who I thought was very lightly sketched for an Angela story.

I really didn't think either of these stories was up to her usual standard.

Then she puts out "Myth" with a really despicable protagonist and I love it! A well-written villain can make a great read. I hate the character but it's a bit like J.R. Ewing. You keep coming back to see him get his come-uppance and just how nasty he can be, and it is a tribute to Jill that she can make a character like this credible and sort of magnetic.

It is a fact that Jill can write any sort of character and still make a story eminently readable.

I remember one she wrote a few years ago called "Wrestling With Discontent", a forced-femme piece without a single (in my opinion) decent person in it and yet it was un-put-downable. I hated the story but loved it too, in a squirmy kind of way, if you see what I mean.

I guess my point is that the three where I had issues with the characterisations were all undisputed hits with the BC audience and the one that I really liked has not met with the same success, although it shows signs of being somewhat of a "sleeper" so Jill, if you don't mind a small audience please keep writing for me.

You have provided a great smorgasbord over the years and I am very happy to be able to pick out the morsels that appeal to me. Some I will like more than others but they are always quality writing, so damn the torpedoes,

Joanne