Wow...what a year. My birthday was an occasion for coming out...to myself. I finally realized that this special part of me is real and alive. She finally gained a name after decades of denial and neglect, and she started writing. A relatively nondescript Spring was followed by a very difficult summer, culminating in the death of my sweet Natalie, my wife's mother. It was a painful but anticipated event, as she had suffered for 15 years with Alzheimer's. She was precious and we miss her dearly.

The summer culminated in my dealing with a newly diagnosed Tremor Disorder, which was quickly followed by physical shrugs and such that were not organic; my doctor expected that there was some underlying psychological issue that was manifest in the symptoms. And then the fun started. Vile and horrific memories; flashbacks of abuse, documented enough else where. And in the midst of that, my wife had her own significant health issues which thankfully have improved.

But in the midst of sadness and pain and hurt, there has also been healing. Friends I might never have met came along side me here...I'll not single anyone out, as they all know how much I treasure their friendship and encouragement, as well as their acceptance. I truly feel as if my life has changed dramatically and for the better even in the midst of increasingly difficult challenges. And apart from my sweet wife and son, my brothers and their families, and some cherished friends in the outside world, I own much of my ongoing healing to this site in general and many friends in particular.

Notes of encouragement and support from folks as far away as Australia and as close as a few counties over have lifted my spirits and given me strength. Sharing things that are wonderful if awkward like my first time dressing coupled with sad but welcome commonality with those here who have endured all kinds of abuse; feeling connected to so many.

I cannot begin to thank you all for the support you have given me for my writing. Having someone tell me I encouraged them or that they felt I knew them means the world to me, and it has given me strength to continue. I should confess that I almost don't like writing many of my stories as much as some might not like to read them, since they are all too painfully real. But I also know, as much for some here as for me, that writing them has been a help and encouragement as well.

I asked my wife to "remind me never to have another year like this one..ever!" It likely has been the most difficult year of my life, which includes many mistakes and hurts, but also blessings and hope. I should amend my request to ask that she remind me never to have another year like this apart from the love I've received. She and I are closer than we ever have been, and my son has been stalwart in his support of me as well. My brothers have supported me, both in their own way, and that has also been a blessing, along with the support of some life-long friends as well.

I'll not dwell on this, as it is personal and an integral part of whom you've come to know; just to say I thank God as well for giving me life and continuing to give me hope. I have intention to finally come out to my family, perhaps sometime later in the coming year. It is a daunting challenge, but I do have hope.

I want to wish all of you the same reminder, only in a more positive light. May you all have a better year in 2010, being prosperous in whatever you set your hand to; filled with realized expectations, fulfilled dreams, and much hope for a great year, only to be surpassed in the years to come. Once again, thanks to Erin and everyone here who labor hard and long to make this a place of welcome. I thank God for all of you and love you much.

Che Dio vi conceda la pace e gioia per il prossimo anno nuovo! Con tanto amore! Andrea