Struggling to write a branching story

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Below is the start of a multi-part, branching (aka Chose Your Own Adventure) story I've been struggling to write for a while now, so I thought I'd share what I have so far, and see if anyone could offer any advice.

The two main branches seem to be leading to either crossdressing, or romance. The crossdressing branch is a bit less difficult, but I'm still worried about it turning into something predictable and boring. The romantic branch is something I don't have a lot of experience writing, so I'm worried I'll completely mess it up.

Does anyone out there have any experience writing branching stories? I'd also appreciate any advice on avoiding crossdressing tropes, as well as writing romance that's believable and interesting without diving into ... sex stuff. If you have anything to share on these or other stuff, I'd love to hear it! :)

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STORY START

After a mind-numbing day of mandatory freshman classes, the warmth of Autumn sunlight coming through the bus window is making you drowsy. Just as your eyelids start to droop, you catch a whiff of stale sweat. Your shoulders tense when someone plops down beside you.

An all-too-familiar voice says, "Hey Annie." You bristle at the nickname you'd acquired on your first day of high school, and give Walter 'The Wall' Williams a soul-searing glare. Instead of withering under your gaze, he flashes a nasty grin at you, then asks, "Where's your boyfriend?"

While you're trying to think of a new way to convince him you're not into guys, Ynez Zanders stops in the aisle near your seat. After glancing between you and the overgrown sophomore sitting beside you, she raises a neatly-trimmed brow and asks, "Are you harassing Andy again?"

"No babe," he says before giving her a dazzling smile. "We made up after what happened in phys ed this morning," he adds while patting your shoulder. "We're best buds now."

Ynez rolls her eyes and says, "Riiiiight." She then points a well manicured finger at him while saying, "You're now *officially* on probation," before marching towards the back of the bus.

Walter gives you a dark look that sends chills up your spine, then runs down the aisle after her while shouting, "Babe, wait up!"

A few seconds later, someone new sits beside you and asks, "You okay?"

A subtle tingle washes over you when you hear the voice of Andre Benson. You do your best to ignore the strange sensation while giving the lanky boy a half-hearted shrug.

Your friend frowns and asks, "Wally been messing with you again?"

"Sorta," you say, then give him a lopsided smile before adding, "but Nezzy pulled him off me before it got too bad."

Andre's wavy brunette hair slips over his slender shoulders when he leans toward you and whispers, "Why in the world is she's still going out with him?"

You let out a soft snicker, which definitely could never be mistaken for a giggle, then whisper back, "Maybe so she has somebody to go with to the Halloween dance at school tonight?"

Your friend smirks and snorts. The smirk turns into a small smile before he says, "Speaking of the dance, you got a costume yet?"

"Well ... no," you answer. "I don't know anybody well enough to ask to go with me, so I didn't bother looking for a costume."

Andre's hazel eyes sparkle with mischief as he says, "You know me."

Your heart begins to race. While you'd heard a few rumors about him being gay, he'd never done or said anything to make you think he was interested in being more than friends.

At least, not until this moment.

He nudges your arm with a pointy elbow when you hesitate, then asks, "Don't you wanna go?"

"Well ... yeah, but--"

Before you can explain how you feel about going to a dance with another guy, he grins and says, "Awesome! I ain't picked out a costume either, but I've been thinking about trying out a place near my bus stop. Wanna take a look at it with me?"

When you hesitate again, he plays his dirtiest trick ever: puppy dog eyes. Every time he uses them, every ounce of your determination just melts away. When you eventually nod, he beams and says, "Great! I'm sure we'll find something that'll knock everybody's socks off tonight."

=-=-=

The scent of pumpkin and cinnamon fills the air as you enter the costume store. A fog machine sends slow puffs of cool, gray mist floating across your feet. Eerie music is replaced by an acapella version of The Monster Mash a moment before the door swishes shut behind you.

After gawping at the rows of costumes, accessories, and decorations, you say, "Oh ... wow."

Andre comes to a halt beside you and says, "This is even better than I'd imagined!"

A curvy lady in a skimpy witch costume approaches, then says in a voice that's almost a purr, "Welcome ... to Costume Connection," then hands you and your friend bright orange flyers. "We're having a two-for-one sale on all the specially marked matching costumes in aisle four."

"Thanks," your friend says before grabbing your hand.

You gasp and take a few stumbling steps before you get your feet under you. Once you make it to aisle four, he lets go, then starts searching through merchandise. You're too busy worrying who might have seen you holding hands with a boy to pay much attention to anything else.

Less than a minute later, Andre says, "Oooo ..." as he pulls out a pair of costumes sealed in long, oversize ziplock bags. "These'll be perfect!" he adds while holding up what looks like a dress in one bag, and a shirt and shorts in the other bag.

"How are they perfect?" you ask as your previous worry is overshadowed by curiosity.

"They're Raggedy Ann and Andy costumes." When he sees your confused look, he says, "We're named Andy and Andre," while wiggling his eyebrows at you. "Get it?"

You sigh when you get the connection between your names and the costumes, but can't help grinning at his infectious enthusiasm.

When he sees the look on your face, he grins back, then waves the costumes while saying, "Which do you wanna be; Ann or Andy?"

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RAGGEDY ANN CHOICE

Despite the nickname you'd been given at school, something about the Raggedy Ann costume calls out to you. When you point to it, Andre nods and says, "Excellent choice," while holding the plastic bag with your chosen costume out to you.

You gulp when you see the price tag on the bag, then say, "I can't afford that."

"Don't worry," your friend says while lifting your arm, then draping the costume across it. "I got enough to pay for my Raggedy Andy costume. Since they're having a two-for-one sale on matching costumes, you ain't gotta pay anything."

Your heart starts racing again, but for a slightly different reason than when you were on the bus. While you might not be the only person crossdressing at the party, wearing a dress is still pretty daring. But ... it's just for Halloween. Who would really care?

Besides Walter, that is.

After gathering as much courage as you can muster, you give Andre a warm smile, then say, "Thank you! This feels a little crazy, but Halloween is all about craziness. Right?"

"Absolutely," says a velvety voice directly behind you. You yelp with surprise and spin around. The lady in the witch costume gives you a disarming smile, then says, "It's also a time to have fun, and try out new things."

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RAGGEDY ANDY CHOICE

When you point to the Raggedy Andy costume, Andre looks a little disappointed. He smiles a moment later, then says, "Excellent choice," while holding your chosen costume out to you.

You gulp when you see the price tag on the costume bag, then say, "I can't afford that."

"Don't worry," your friend says while lifting your arm, then draping the costume across it. "I got enough to pay for my Raggedy Ann costume. Since they're having a two-for-one sale on matching costumes, you ain't gotta pay anything."

Your heart starts racing again. Although you'd never admit it, even to yourself, you'd always thought Andre looked pretty. The thought of him in a dress, even if it's a Raggedy Ann costume makes your heart skip a beat. But ... it's just for Halloween. Who would really care?

Besides Walter, that is.

While trying to decide if that made you straight, gay, or something else, you give Andre a warm smile. "Thanks," you say. "This feels a little crazy, but Halloween is all about craziness. Right?"

Comments

There are whole websites devoted to branching stories...

bryony marsh's picture

Unless you feel that you’re literally incapable of writing sex scenes, I think your avoidance and dismissal of “sex stuff” is a mistake. Sex is a normal, healthy thing that takes place between adults. Passion is a logical component of relationships and a lot of us wouldn’t be here without it... but whatever. You do you: just don’t let anybody around here force you into “respectability”.

Sugar and Spiiice – TG Fiction by Bryony Marsh

i'm sorry

Maddy Bell's picture

but that reads like one of those gaming books popular back in the '80's,

Just my ten cents but so far it feels like a set of tropes linked together, there is no story in there and you flip from first person to third person which makes it particularly painful to read, more like a set of instructions, refer to my first sentence. For example "Don't worry," your friend says while lifting your arm, then draping the costume across it. in reasonable English should be more like"Don't worry," my friend said as he lifted my arm, then draped the costume across it. - see what i did there?

You want to avoid tropes you say but we've got a whole bunch already, pretty boy, bully, potentially gay pretty friend, the sexy shop assistant and on and on.

The basic plot does have some potential but i think you need to think about where it goes beyond the costume choice. Stories should have a start, middle and end, you can fudge the middle a bit but you need to know where you are headed, ie the end. If you don't have a destination, what's the point of the journey? If you can't see that goal, leave it, don't force it, you might get inspiration tomorrow or a year from now, you might want to change the scenario, the names, well pretty much anything. As for sex, its not essential and it certainly doesn't have to have graphic detail, insinuation can be more powerful than blow by blow accounts.

As i say, just my tuppence worth.


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Madeline Anafrid Bell

Can't Really Argue With Your Tropes Comment...

I think they'll be hard to avoid.

But te "no story" doesn't seem valid to me; this is the setup for the story, and you don't really want to move forward until you've done that.

And the story is consistently in second person, not first or third. Granted, it's hard to do dialogue that way, since you're telling the reader what he or she says.

The "instructions" come with the territory, so to speak; as you said, it's written as though "you", the reader, have to choose one or the other. So you need to know enough to choose your option -- though I assume anyone who reads the story is going to want to read both versions.

Re the "choose your own adventure" comment, the branching is the story gimmick, but it sounds as though that's the only branch we're going to get, where the "choose your own" keeps giving you options as you go. (Not that there's anything wrong with that (g).)

Eric