Well, today was an interesting day. First, I got a call from the local TS support group I belong to reminding me that there was a potluck dinner today. Trouble was, my brother and sister-in-law were also supposed to come over. I decided that since the potluck started at 430, and they were not supposed to come until 7, that i could go and still come back. But, I decided to leave a note for my mom that I was going to be coming home dressed as Dorothy, so if they had a problem with that, I could just skip showing up. But she phoned me to say they would not cause problems, so I came home.

The chapters are going to be a touch short. Its just when a good moment comes to pause, I want to take it. Hopefully, that doesnt annoy too many people.

Well, the interview went well, and I will find out on Tuesday if I got the job. On the writing front, I am finding my little story may not end up being as little as I thought. Running at about 10 K right now, and showing no signs of slowing down. I may end up just posting part 1 and letting things get started. What do you guys think?

If you had the chance to go out as a girl (assuming you don't for the sake of the image) what would you think of doing? Somehow, I doubt it would include what I did yesterday. I went to the bottle depot and turned in my empties. I do this to get "Dot money", but until yesterday, I wouldn't have done that dressed up. But I needed a lift after Monday, and I want to try out being Dorothy in ordinary circumstances I would have to do if I go out full time. Not only did no one comment on me, but when some of my bottles fell out of my bag, the man behind me helped me pick them up.

Well, I took a plunge today. I went to the downtown United Church dressed as Dorothy, and was welcomed with open arms. Not only that, they want me to be part of their affirming group that helps GLBTG people feel welcome there. Can it get much better?

Well, tomorrow morning I have an interview at a grocery store. The big question is, do I go in honest? Or do I keep my trans status to myself until I'm hired? I wish I knew what to do.

The above quote is from the old cartoon, "The Jetsons". As the end credits rolled, the main character would get on a treadmill, only to have it go completely out of control. I feel a bit like that. I am running my heart out just to stay in the same place, and ever once in a while, I slide under, get crumpled, and then spat back out to start running again. And the idea of actually getting any traction seems like a no-go. But I wont stop. I will keep fighting, keep trying to find a way to be Dorothy full time. Thanks again to "Team Dorothy" who have picked me up and put me back on track.

Well, thanks to some wonderful people (you know who you are) I have survived my down, and am headed up. You know, I should make a poster that says "I am NOT worthless, a loser, or a joke! I am valued, loved, and created for a purpose!" in case I forget again. I would like to say I wont hear that voice telling me how horrible I am again, but hopefully, I can get better at tuning it out.

Well, down I go. I'm right on the edge of a major depression, and I don't know how to stop it. My emotional reserves are dry, I'm having flashbacks, and my job situation gets worse each day. Pray for me.

Well, I should know better than to get my hopes too high. I had gotten a call from the manager at the restaurant that is in my old work, and made the assumption she was interested in hiring me. Since she had talked about it before, and already said she would have had no problem with me being Dorothy if it was up to her, I started to have dreams of being able to be a waitress. Of course, I was wrong, and she just wanted to pass on a lead she gotten from a customer. Nice of her, I know, but not what I was hoping for. Ah, well.

Well, yesterday was a full day. I picked up my check from the telephone sales job (I made 300 dollars in 3 days, so not bad)

When we say something is "hysterical" we usually mean that's a good thing. But sometimes, I think laughter can lead to hysteria in the sense of a loss of control. At least I think thats what happened to me last night. I was talking with my girlfriend Kylie, and I started laughing, until I was in pain, having trouble breathing, and yet being unable to stop. I'm not sure what that means.

I wanted send out a public thank-you to Beth W., who spent time on the phone with me yesterday, on her dime. Bless you, sister. Sadly, I am fighting a fever, so its going to be a while before I feel 100 %