"Only because I recognise suitable habitats, but the vandals who farm these days, with their bloody flail cutters, make it harder and harder." I was on my soapbox. Normally, Agnew would light the blue touchpaper and enjoy the fireworks, but in front of Pippa, the Dean was not going to let that happen.

Easy As Falling Down A Hole.
by: her, that's the one.
part: the latest one

She sat quite happily in my hands for the CCTV, there were offers of a DVD for anyone who needed it for a TV station. Of course the photographers came up and started snapping away. Spike did not like the flashes and began to get agitated. I reached for her box and as I did so, she shot out of my hand along my sleeve and down the neck of my blouse.

Easy As Feeding A Donkey Strawberries.
by: Her wot writes 'em.
part: 2xtriple twenty & double tops = erm!

“You’re such a darling. It’s like Marlene never left. My nephew and little girl are all rolled into one (giggle).” She took me on her lap and gave me a big hug.

"Why have you bought cat food?" asked Stella, "We don't have a cat."

"It was on special offer." I said defensively.

"We still don't have a cat."

"So, if ever we do, we have food."

"It can eat dormice, there's a hedge full of them out there," countered Stella.

Author's note: Version one was lost during posting, thanks Bill, I'll kill you later!

Easy As Falling Off A Bike.

At one seventeen a.m. his desk phone buzzed. “Zack, it’s Linda. I can’t find Marlene. I’ve looked everywhere!” Her voice sounded flat and depleted. He waved at the dispatcher to plug in and tape the call. Linda had dialed his direct line, not 911.

TWINS by Marie, Part 4: Missing
by Marie C.

"Well borrow some of mine."

"Don't be ridiculous, you are several sizes smaller than I, so if I did borrow them, I'd end up singing bloody soprano. Besides what if we had an accident? No thanks, I'll stick with the chaffing."

"I'll kiss it better for you." I said suddenly realising what I had said.

"You'll what?" His face positively lit up.

Easy As Falling In Love.

...we left the hospital, just as the police showed up.

“That would be me.” I told him.

We all finished and headed to the morning briefing. I heard one of the guys ask who the new piece of ass was and watched as Sarah decked him.

She got a standing ovation from the rest of the women...

"So what do you think of Mr O'Rourke then?"

"He's very nice," I allowed.

"Only very nice, haven't you fallen in love with him yet?"

"I love someone else, but I fell in lust within twenty seconds." I joked.

She laughed, "I thought this blood felt hot." She continued removing it from me and labelling the little vials. "So you're Stella's little sister?"

We all went to the stadium and found our seats. Jake and I went to go get some beers and hotdogs, but I found out that things were going to be different now even if I hadn’t noticed it before. I was in line, while Jake went to use the head, when some asshole grabbed my ass. I turned around and saw that he was twice my size. He said something about me having a nice ass and then smiled while he looked right down my shirt. I punched him right in the balls, and then felt someone grab me, as the big guy shook his balls back down into his sack. He started to make a grab for me when out of the corner of my eye I saw Jake come flying in and deck the son of a bitch. Before I could even think he had the guy in handcuffs and was handing him over to security while they did the same to the guys who had grabbed on to me.

Everything is coming up roses, so why does Cathy only see the greenfly? Read the next exciting episode of this enthralling saga (you're not supposed to laugh! Pout!)

Easy As Falling Off A Bike.
by Usual suspect.
part, twelve thirteens (one for the trisdekaphiles)

Do they really make doctors that big? How does the blood get all the way up to his brain and against gravity? Poor Cathy gets her knickers and her tongue all twisted!

Easy As Starting A Diet.
by: Angharad chocolate chomper.
part: After Eight thin chocolate mints.

My inner monolog started to hold a conversation on it’s own.
“Well think about it. You were at a party, fell down a hill and woke up as a woman.”
“And you think freaking out will solve anything?”
“No, I guess not, but I don’t want to loose the old me.”
“I’m still here, and not going anywhere. Just relax and go with it. It’s either that or end up in jail for killing someone and THAT would suck.”
“Deal.”

     "Thou shall not lay with man in the same way as woman.” he told us.
“Uh, does that hold true for lesbians or what?” I asked him almost laughing.
     “Don’t you blaspheme in here little girl.” he shot back less then happy with me.
“Alright then, whatever happened to love thy neighbor. Or god made man in his own image?” I asked back. “If that is the case, then wouldn’t you be sinning right now for showing intolerance to us? Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."

I just looked at her in shock. “I don’t understand.”

“I was born a boy too. But an accident on my dad’s farm caused my genitals to get ripped off my body. They couldn’t put them back on, so my parents made the choice to have the doctors turn me into a girl. It was either that or live life as a male without the part of my body that makes me one.

Having to reveal my thoughts on transition to Saint Nicholas made me a little uncomfortable. I wondered secretly whether he even had the power to fulfill my desire. “Sir, it seems that my feeling that my body was of the wrong sex was prevalent even in my preteens. I suppressed those feelings thinking the it was not natural and a passing fad. As I reached my teen years and found that I would be different from my mates, I found myself questioning my masculinity."

Warning: the following contains adult situations and extreme language. If you are easily offended, or just are not old enough legally to be viewing this, please leave now. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! This is a complete work of fiction, any resemblance to persons either alive or dead is pure coincidence, and not intended. This is the first chapter in the story of a college student who changes from a man to a woman. It’s written as a letter he leaves on his computer to be found by who ever notices him missing. I’ve been told that there are times when my writing doesn’t have enough emotion in it. Well I hope this is enough for you.