I just wanted to say two things.

The first time I heard, my little girl from mom again I was a little embarrassed and a little taken back too, but the more mom referred to me in the girl reference I grew to accept it and kinda liked it over time and of course it always got my attention as it was meant too, here are a few, my little girl or just girl which mom loved to use both, like there’s my sweet little girl or you’re such a pretty girl and so on also young lady, little missy or just missy and of course my girl name sissy or sissygirl someone mom knew had a daughter with that name and mom just loved it and of course loved to use it at every opportunity, I love being called sissy or sissygirl to this very day.

From that moment on when I said I want a doll I was in love with dolls and I don’t know why, my guess is that not only did I have a girl gene that wanted out but I must have had a mommy gene too, even today all dressed up in my form fitting dresses and high heels carrying my purse I want my doll too and carry it around also, the second I’m dressed up my next thought is where is my doll kinda weird don’t you think.

Even dressed up as a girl when I was just starting my girlhood journey my auntie’s little boy who was 3 years younger than me I wanted to be his mommy, my auntie thought that was so cute and encouraged me too, but I’ll get into that later.

My nephew was 4 and I was 7 it’s been about 2 years now since mom and I started down my girlhood journey, I know I’m jumping ahead a little but I’ll get back to the beginning after this little side adventure.

Mom loved me and my girlhood telling me years later she did it for me seeing how I loved girl things and my girl feelings she wanted to help me also admitting she enjoyed it too, even loved having two daughters at home, I think my sister being a jock and not really being very girly had mom really enjoying my feminine side but anyway.

Mom was always aware of how shy I was in my girl mode making sure my sister was gone doing her thing while I was dressed up around the house, I’m sure my sister knew something but didn’t care or more than likely didn’t want to participate in anyway which was just fine I guess, sis would give me that half smile every now and then just to let me know.

At this time in girl mode I was running around in my Mary Janes girly panties
and a hand me down dress from sis, mom did my makeup usually just lipstick and nail polish and of course my pigtails which mom just loved.

As I mentioned earlier when I’am all dressed up I feel and act like a girl it just comes out I can’t help it even if I wanted too of course I would never want too, I would usually carry my doll I loved my doll or mom would have me carry my purse too sometimes both.

At this point I thought the only ones that knew about sissy ( that’s me, I love that name ) was mom and sis but I soon learned that mom’s sister my auntie was aware of sissy, I think mom just needed someone else who she could trust and since they were close it wasn’t hard to confide in her about sissy, later in life mom told me that auntie was very intrigued about sissy always wanting to hear about her and wanted very much to meet her too, up until that time when around auntie and my nephew I was in boy mode and nothing was ever mentioned.

Mom was very good about protecting me from uncomfortable situations while I was sissy but every once in a while she would just push out a little on my comfort zone, a few times she took me to the grocery store wearing my Mary Janes and sometimes with pigtails and lite pink lipstick in my boy clothes, I was mortified as you could imagine but mom always reassured me, I guess I passed as a tomboy being very young I could pull it off but this time was a big jump for me and mom.

Mom informed me that auntie and my nephew were coming over this weekend and auntie wanted to meet sissy, I believe I had a little panic attack mom could see it in my eyes, sweetie it’s going to be alright auntie already knows and has from the beginning and your nephew being only 4 he won’t even care, he’ll just think your a girl staying with me.

To be continued…

The first time mom put lipstick on me when she was tucking me in, up until then she was having me kiss my Barbie doll good night, after she kissed me good night on my cheek or forehead.

That night she said sweetie look in your purse which I usually kept on my bed at night with my Barbie doll, grabbing my purse unsnapping the clasp looking inside and there was a new lipstick tube before my very eyes, I was so excited just looking at that wonderful item of girlhood.

Before I could say a word mom chimed in, sweetie your Barbie wears lipstick to bed every night when you kiss her good night and I was thinking you should be wearing lipstick too isn’t that a good idea sweetie, I was speechless I could only shake my head yes my head was just swimming in a million different thoughts as you could imagine, hand me your purse sweetie as mom reached inside my purse sissy this is your new lipstick, now young lady be sure you take care of your lipstick and always keep it in your purse, I could only nod yes but deep down I was so excited like I was floating.

Watching mom pull my lipstick out of my purse and remove the cap twisting out that wonderful pink lipstick, mom knew I was watching her in amazement and she was having a little fun or should I say probably having a lot fun I’m sure.

Pucker up sissy as mom applied my pink lipstick I had put some lipstick on before and it was exciting but having mom put it on me taking her time and giving me a nice even coat it was so amazing I was having that deep down exciting feeling and that was a understatement.

There sweetie how do you like that, I love it mom I was just over the top my toes where tingling, now mom introduced me to kissing and not on the cheek.

Mom picked up my Barbie doll and held it right above my face, ok sweetie 3 kisses to Barbie every time she had Barbie’s lips touch mine she made a smacking kissing sound which I emulated, being in my girl mode I liked it but didn’t fully understand it as kissing my Barbie was the norm each night I was falling in love with kissing, mom had a big smile, we where two very happy girls.

To be continued…

Mom having me kiss my Barbie doll with my freshly applied lipstick I think was just a way to have me start wearing lipstick because she knew i was fascinated with her lipstick and it wouldn’t take much to have me fall in love with wearing lipstick.

And trust me that first night wearing my pink lipstick was the hardest because lipstick back in the 60’s was very creamy at least this brand was and it also had a lipstick type sent and taste, back then you knew you where wearing lipstick and that first night I could feel my lips lightly sticking together and the taste, it was very hard to get to sleep I was just swimming in my head it was so girly and everything I knew it would be and way over the top yummy.

I was hooked a true lipstick girl which made me even feel more like a girl if that was anyway possible, after a few nights of wearing lipstick to bed I was wearing my lipstick pretty much all the time and of course mom loved it too, mom did comment on how much lipstick was on my pillow cases, it took me a little time to figure that one out but I got it over time, sleeping on my back and putting my hand under my cheek while sleeping on my side helped a lot.

So by the time my auntie and nephew where coming over on Saturday morning I’ve been wearing lipstick for awhile and I was just so ready to try it out on kissing someone really anyone, even back in my early lipstick days I was ready to try my lipstick covered lips on someone, then it just happened coming into the kitchen one morning I just couldn’t help myself I put my arms around my moms neck and gave her 3 kisses in a row on her lips, sometimes I really don’t think things through, sissy what was that all about girl, I just couldn’t help myself mom I just needed to kiss someone’s lips I’m sorry mom, that’s ok sweetie I knew you were kinda heading in that direction after seeing lipstick traces on your purse, you wanted to see what your lipstick print looks like you’re such a girl as she said with a big smile, oh mom it was driving me crazy and the reflection in my patent purse I just had to kiss those lips, I know sweetie it’s ok all girls go through this and sweetie you’re no different, I didn’t tell mom I was kissing my mirror to check my lipstick prints but I found kissing my purse way more fun .

It’s funny how being a little mortified and days later looking forward to the same thing, isn’t it crazy how human emotions can play little games in your head, that’s how I felt about sissy meeting my auntie one minute thinking one way and now really looking forward to it, mom really didn’t say too much just mentioning sissy that would be nice to give our guests a hello kiss just to make them feel welcome.

Sure mom I understand, I love my auntie she was always nice to me and I love my quiet little nephew, he was a sweetheart I was wondering what is he going to think, who is this girl kissing me and where’s timmy, I’m thinking mom and auntie have this all figured out actually I really didn’t care at that moment I was busy getting ready putting on my one and only hand me down dress a pair of girl panties and my black patent Mary Janes with white lacy socks.

Next was my mom doing my makeup and hair, I’ve been doing my makeup for sometime now but mom wanted to do it this time she wanted it perfect I guess and mom did a perfect job on my pigtails and makeup I was so excited.

There here mom called out, greeting my auntie and nephew at the front door was new to me, they always just came right in no big deal but this was going to be something new for me, mom opened the door and there was my auntie wearing a big smile seeing her sister they truly loved each other, well auntie looked down at me and gave me a wink like she knew sissy, I guess mom and her have had many a conversation about sissy after hugging mom auntie bent down, I was thinking her makeup is perfect her lips are perfect should I kiss her what if I mess up her makeup I just went for it putting my arms around her neck I gave her 3 kisses just like I give my Barbie doll a little more of a kiss than I give my mom just a second or two longer it felt way different than kissing my mom kinda like a deep growing thrill that started the second I started kissing her.

Releasing my auntie I bent down and cupped my nephews face and gave him 3 kisses too but more like the kisses I give my mom enjoying it too, I was thinking I’m giving this boy more kisses later on today followed by a warm hug I think he was a little surprised not sure if he liked it or not, I just told him I’m sissy and you must be danny he just knotted his head yes probably because he didn’t know what to say kinda like I do when I’m lost for words.

Mom gave me that knowing smile she was telling me with out saying a word I’m so proud of you, I was definitely glowing from that last 5 minutes wow, mom can danny come to my bedroom and play sure said my mom I grabbed him by the hand pulling him along towards my bedroom.

I was so excited, I never had anyone else to play with in my room as sissy, I managed to get danny to wear my lipstick and carry my big girl purse around the house by telling him this was a big boy game, showing my mom and his mom they both laughed and got a kick out of it especially his mom she really loved it, it was all good fun I even had some old Halloween candy in my room that I gave him for kisses, he really liked that trade so did I even though he was 3 years younger than me I still found it every exciting kissing a boy.

Funny when I’m in boy mode I never have any of those thoughts in my head, just playing boy games with other boys and my mom supported my boy side as much as my girl side what a great mom.

Nothing much happened the rest of the day, danny even played with my Barbie doll he thought it was cool, mom and auntie talked all day and they were very happy with us kids, auntie really enjoyed meeting sissy and even invited her to their house for a play date and yes that play date was fun too.

All good things must come to a end as we said our good byes, I gave danny the rest of my old candy which he loved I was a little naughty and put on some fresh lipstick for the goodbyes knowing my auntie would probably notice and hopefully like it too, giving my nephew a nice girl friend boy friend 3 kisses, still nothing from him but I loved it, my auntie was different I gave her the same 3 a little too long kisses which I enjoyed way to much and auntie was just beaming at me while I was a little bashful from her look who would guess the girl that love’s kissing I guess I just got a bit over my skis, mom noticed it too I was just being a little too bold, we had a little mother daughter talk later that night.

Funny thing with moms little talk it wasn’t even about me kissing my auntie she was ok with that really lol, moms main concern was her 7 year old daughter well almost 8 wearing lipstick all the time and giving kisses to everyone, she just sat me down and explained to me that some boys might take it the wrong way, not really knowing what she meant she just told me if anyone ever tells me not to tell anyone then I was to tell her that, how that I understood and that I never forgot what mom told me that night.

Even though most of my dress up time was at home, as I got older I could see moms side, especially when having her very young daughter running around in her dress and Mary Janes wearing big girl makeup with my pigtails and half the time I’d take off my dress, I really didn’t like clothes to much just too uncomfortable or I just didn’t care for them even today I feel that way but anyway I would be running around the house in just my panties, bra and my little girl shoes which I just loved, mom would get so mad at me saying sissy your half naked put on some clothes girl and of course she would find my dress somewhere and back on it went.

My relationship with my auntie we where always close and loved each other she treated me like her son but when she met sissy things changed from that first weekend, it was kinda like love at first sight all over again but would definitely be going down a different path.

It was that first lingering kisses at the front door that kick started it and then the play date at aunties house was interesting too, at first kissing auntie on the couch and just kissing her was very nice but it was a lot to take in I think she could see that in my look the first few times, I always have worn my emotions for everyone to see I could never hide it, at least she loved me enough to tell me that if kissing made me feel uncomfortable we didn’t have to kiss anymore, she said I would never make you do something that you didn’t want to do, I think I didn’t say anything.

The next few get together’s where a little slow in the kissing department and funny thing I was really missing all the kissing it just grew on me I really liked it a lot, a couple three weeks later she asked me again about kissing this time I looked at her and said I truly love all the kissing and I didn’t want it to stop, I think I shocked her a little but her big smile said it all and just melted me too, we became even closer something funny started to happen after that.

We started to gravitate towards each other, like we would kinda find each other and just give each other a little soft touching and some loving kisses, we never really never did anything but lite touching and kissing and we never french kissed or open mouth kissed we were just happy with sexy pucker up kissing and as far as the lite touching one of our favorites was having our legs touch each other at the dinner table where no one can see it was very naughty but we both loved it, can you imagine a 40 year old lady playing footsie with her 10 year old niece how crazy is that lol.

But truthfully that’s as far as it went, I was totally happy with that we had a great time together, we definitely where two girls who love kissing and yes the kissing did increase almost to the point if we ran into each other at either house more than not we would do the 3 kisses and sometimes a little more.

As far as her son went, auntie always loved it when I dressed him up as my little niece and I loved it too I guess I have this mother gene also, loved treating my little niece like she was my little girl, auntie encouraged it going as far as telling him that he will listen and do what sissy wants as if I was his mother too, when auntie said that I had the biggest smile and felt kinda tingly inside too.

This was just the norm, it was wonderful times going from a five year old boy hiding my girl side to this and in the long run auntie’s house became my fun spot, after my dad passed years later mom found a new husband I was about 13 years old and pretty much sissy was nonexistent at home and auntie’s house was my girly place but it was just not the same, it was really hard on me and I went through a little depression and it didn’t help that we had no bond between us what so ever but he made mom happy, I ended up leaving my house at 16 I just couldn’t be there anymore and never to lived there again I was on my own, oh well all good things usually end at sometime.

So be it, on with sissygirl’s journey.

I just wanted to touch on this and see if anyone else has had a similar experience.

When I was in the 2 or 3 grade I was walking down the classroom isle towards the front of the class probably heading to my desk when a boy said to me you walk like a girl, that was the first time I heard someone saying that to me, well it stuck in my head even to this very day and a funny thing it really didn’t bother me or upset me it just made me aware that yes I’m walking like a girl, that was the first time I was kinda outed in public lol.

I guess we just pick up on habits sometimes we are just not aware of and then some we have learned or we've been taught them, I’m sure for me it was all three, early on mom of course new about my love for her lipsticks and her purses but not yet my sisters Mary Janes that was soon to change.

As my need to always show or express my inner feelings or thoughts at one time or another I just can’t help myself, while mom was tucking me in I just couldn’t keep it in any longer my mouth just started talking before my brain could stop it, mom I love sis’s little girl shoes, when you crack the door just a little open with mom she will have it wide open in the end and sure enough I told her everything.

Going into sis’s closet and touching them and playing with them, they where just a marvel of pure girlyness and so pretty I just couldn’t help myself and being the easiest of one of my deep down desires to play with, I told mom I would take them back to my room and try them on and when nobody was home I would walk around the house in those black patent beauties just looking down at them totally in love.

She intently listened to me with a smile, probably not to detour me from telling her everything, it worked because I told her everything even when sis was gone for a sleepover I would sneak into her room and take those beautiful little girl shoes bring them back to my room and wear them to bed until sometime in the middle of the night I would take them off because my feet would get too hot and uncomfortable again telling mom everything.

Mom being her usual mischievous fun way looked at me and said, I’ll be right back and left my room a minute later mom came walking back with those beautiful black patent Mary Janes saying you young lady will be wearing your little girl shoes to bed and sissy you will wear them all day tomorrow too and you better not take them off tonight or tomorrow missy or you’ll be wearing them to bed for a month and it won’t be as fun as you think, I was speechless just swimming in a pool of excitement and happy disbelief, I could only shake my head yes, having me sit on the edge of bed mom buckled me into those beautiful little girl shoes saying they fit pretty good, sissy your a very lucky little girl tucked me in saying sweet dreams with a little wink, wow.

To be continued…

I think at this point in my girlhood experiences mom was accepting it and enjoying it, seeing how I was really enjoying it too mom probably realize that I didn’t have a need to be a girl but just loved girl things and the fact that my sister was a tomboy jock mom was just happy to have a new daughter to have some girl fun with.

Inheriting my sister’s Mary Janes I would have never believed it until mom referred to them as my little girl shoes or something like that, i do remember mom saying that my sister wouldn’t miss them and I really never seen her wear them too, she diffidently didn’t care for anything girly but I did lol.

So when I came walking into the kitchen wearing my Mary Janes with my night slip I felt like a girl inside and out, it was wonderful and I had moms loving approval I felt so good inside but still I was lacking proper etiquette for a girl just doing simple things.

As mom would point them out, as I sat down in my boyish usual way mom looked over at me and said, sissy now that you’ll be wearing your pretty little girl shoes a lot from now on it just doesn’t look right the way you’re sitting, try putting your knees and ankles together and let’s see, mom really liked that look and it did look and feel very girly but I just couldn’t hold that position very long unless I just concentrated on sitting like that.

To be continued…

Keeping my knees and ankles together was difficult for me, holding them together in a upright position worked the best for me and to have my legs at a angle looked better and more feminine but it was even harder to sit in that position for any length of time.

Mom could see this so she had me cross my legs and wala that was the answer for me, it really felt way more comfortable and natural crossing my legs, so that became my sitting position from that morning on, plus I really kinda loved it.

It felt good and I could move my legs around to make it feel more comfortable, switching my legs back and forth made it work even better, the two things that I loved the most is one I could look at my pretty shoes enjoying how they looked and two I could rub my patent Mary Janes on my lower leg down by my calf and it felt wonderful I was definitely getting sexually aroused by it but didn’t really know at the time, to me it just felt really really good lol.

As time went on I came to realize that boys young and old liked pretty shoes too especially on crossed legs, not all but for sure some enjoyed it, even my little nephew seemed to notice them we’ll I kinda helped him, on a few occasions I gave him a damp cloth and had him wipe those beauties down and then had him dry them with a soft dry cloth all the time wearing them of course, I could see a little bit of wonderment on his face especially when he was done and I would stick those beauties right under his nose almost touching his lips and thanked him asking him don’t they look so pretty and shiny just to see what he would say or do, he really didn’t say or do anything but he seemed a little intrigued with them in a cute nervous kinda way that I created that was one of my first times doing a little bit of teasing and to tell you the truth it was kinda fun.

With mom it was on to another girly lesson, the girl walk pretty much on the mornings my sis was gone, as I was heading into the kitchen wearing my girl shoes knowing I was to wear them for breakfast and the coast was clear, mom informed me early on that if I found my little girl shoes on my nightstand that was the ok to wear them or that she wanted me to wear them either way I got the message.

The girl walk, while mom was fixing breakfast she would have me walk from the kitchen down the hallway and back it was simple and just a few times back and forth, the first time she showed me how to put the one shoe in front of the other shoe like heel to toe and after 3 or 4 times a couple of minutes each time I was getting the hang of it and it felt pretty comfortable too, I even was starting to get a little sway that also that made me feel a little naughty or at least a good feeling inside probably both lol.

She added little stuff to my girl walking lessons, like not to hunch over hold my back a little straighter thing’s like that but mom saved the best for last and that was carrying my purse like a young lady as she put it.

At first I was a little shy and unsure but with mom’s loving and fun way she did it I was getting into too just as much as she was, I carried my purse with my left or right hand by my side the most common way a girl would carry her purse I guess and if I stopped I could hold my purse in front of me with both hands and mom even showed me how to carry it like a clutch purse, but my favorite and the one I love the most even to this very day and how mom would carry hers was inside her arm at the elbow the crook of her elbow, I always loved watching mom carry her purse that way it was just so girly and feminine I just loved it and it felt as girly as it looked I was hooked.

I would carry my purse like that for hours and loved every minute of it, it just made me feel so good inside and feel like a more mature girl too, I must say that was one of the best things ever and enjoyed so much I loved it, just watching me mom had a big beautiful smile, it was great.