=^-^=
I’m proud to be the pastor to James and his mother Caroline and the Evans family. We’re in a modest size community in New Jersey, but the community and church have many longtime residents and members who think we all have old-fashioned ideas and ways of thinking. But I wasn’t surprised when Carol came to me with news that had already become known to me through others.
James was a mature eighth grader and an open thinker in his own right. Being an active eighth grader, he's fairly well known. He's known as an active boy at school and in a variety of activities. He’s neither an angel nor a devil. Those in our church and around his family also know he looks very much like his mother. He, like his mother, has long sandy-blond hair and people are not surprised when they mistake them for each other when seen from behind.
When they went someplace new to eat or stay he was often mistaken for a girl, even from the front. It was March and the medical center near us, where his mother was a nurse, was part of a larger group of medical hospitals and clinics. It announced, there would be mother-daughter events, held the weekend before Mother’s Day.
Carol had been on the phone talking to her sister about the event; she was saddened she did not have her daughter to take to the event. It was already known she could adopt her niece, or neighbor girl to go with her to the event as she often did. But it was a reminder that she could no longer safely have another child, though she wanted a girl.
While his mother was talking to her sister James came home from school, into the room behind her. An idea quickly came to him and he broke into their conversation. He spoke so his Aunt could hear, “Don’t worry Aunt Beth, daughter Jamie has decided to go with her to the festivities.”
He could hear the laughter from the other end of the phone. She quickly responded much as his mother would. “Nice thought, but you’re too old to innocently dress up and attend as a girl.”
That was when James announced this was the 21st century and that he could handle it. “We’re not living in the 1900s anymore. I’m a 21st-century male!”
The last time they went out to a nice place to eat the waiter mistook him for a young woman, “What would you like to order miss?” Someone already complimented that his parents should be happy to have such a nice-looking young family with a daughter who looked like her mother and a son who looked like his father. It was in a way partially James’ fault as he wore his hair long, often wore pastel colors, and his soft smile also lent itself to the mistaken identity.
He already trusted that the girls from his school who lived in the neighborhood; would have good-natured fun with him doing so. But he expected that they would enjoy helping him to be Jamie.
Carol cut short her phone conversation with her sister to address him; “How dare you break into my conversation like that and announce something so silly? What would you say if I took you up on your offer, thinking you were serious and I got my hopes up? It could have hurt; you know how I’m sensitive about this.”
James said, “But Mom, I am serious. I just thought of the idea, and I think it is a good one. I am closer to Dad, despite not being a lot like him. How many times have I been mistaken for your daughter? I just thought it would be special if I could do this for you! It’s time I did something with you. You do so much for us.”
Carol sat on the edge of her bed and patted the mattress for James to do the same. “I appreciate your good thoughts, but they’ve just announced there could be some things you wouldn’t want to take part in and the date is the weekend before Mother’s Day. They haven’t indicated all that it might be. What if it were a weekend event that included makeovers, hairstyling, and a program geared for women?”
James said, “I hadn’t thought of that but it would be fun if I volunteered for something like that.”
Easter was coming early in April this year, and it was two weeks before Easter; the parent corporation announced the Mother/Daughter event would be on Saturday and Sunday of that weekend. Mom had already announced, “The week after Easter I will go shopping for a spring dress or two; would you want that for you? I’m sure your good friend Marcy would go shopping with us.”
My agreement led to my heading over to Marcy’s house to look at spring dresses online. Mom suggested narrowing down what we would be looking for. Marcy and I have been friends for as long as either of us could remember. I would get teased at school but I knew with Marcy and most of the others it would be good-natured fun. Marcy’s mother and her sister liked what I planned to do for my mother. Once over at their house, Mrs. Robins had fun brushing out my hair and put it into a French braid. She swept my hair in the front and gave me long flowing curls hanging on the sides. She then insisted I wear a skirt and blouse and walk around the block once.
I wouldn’t give in to the thought that I’d be embarrassed. I changed as suggested and Marcy and I as Jamie walked their dog Sparks to the park and back. It was a mild day so I didn’t have the excuse to wear a long coat to cover my appearance.
Marcy had Teresa and Molly meet us at the park and walk home with us. It was a long Saturday of being introduced to a girls’ world. Since Marcy and Teresa had little sisters and brothers, we were recruited as good girls to make up their Easter baskets.
When my mother got home from work, she told me she had put in our reservation for the weekend. Despite originally being my idea, I felt some weight to her making the reservations. I was now committed to following through. My mother was amused by my girl’s time over at Marcy’s. She complimented the soft look on my face and asked if I would put on one of the outfits we had bought for me to wear around the house.
I was surprised at how nice it felt putting on chemise under a blouse and a pair of satin panties under the skirt instead of my underpants. I didn’t expect things to feel so soft and smooth. They sent chills through me, giving me a sense of pleasure that I hadn’t experienced. My mother asked me to help clean the house and put out the last of the decorations for our family’s Easter gathering that we were hosting. I said, “You didn’t have to get me to change clothes to help you with the housework. I sometimes help if we’re the hosting family for the gathering.”
Mom said, “Yes, but your dressing as Jamie is one of my added perks this year. I thought you’d speak up if you didn’t want to do it.” She asked, “Are you willing to share an Easter basket with Monica in the morning?”
Monica is Aunt Beth’s daughter; she’s a year older than me and she also has a resemblance to my mother. She and I get along quite well. I responded, “Sharing a basket will be fine, but I hope it doesn’t mean it will be a girly basket.” My Mom was unusually quiet so I asked, “What does the silence mean?”
Mom acknowledged, “I won’t promise about the girly part.”
“I hope you haven’t gone overboard.”
Mom went quickly to the laundry room, so I didn’t hear her response.
My brother Dan came up from our finished basement, carrying things to be put away in our rooms. He lightly laughed, “I’m glad I didn’t volunteer as you did. It is bad enough to get teased by girls who like what you’re doing.” He asked, “Would you be willing to have a catch outside after we’re finished helping here?”
Mom calls from the basement, “It better not be a demanding game of catch, your brother has a skirt on. I don’t want him getting messed up to where he would need to shower and change clothes.”
It was four-thirty when we were done with the decorations; we got the baseball and gloves and went outside. Aunt Beth, Monica, and the rest of the Miller family drove into the driveway. Monica bounced out of their car and came with Dan and me. She was in jeans and commented that she was more ready to play baseball than I was. Aunt Beth called me, “James could you help by taking in some of the luggage.” She also complimented me on how I looked.
By the time I got back outside to play catch, Marcy had come over and she like Monica was wearing jeans. Her brother Morgan had come over and he was now playing with Dan. Monica suggested we three girls should go into the house and find some girl stuff.
Monica was the one to suggest we retreat to my new room where she had some fingernail polish. I was the only one not to have their nails done yet, and I was not volunteering. They didn't ask. Monica trimmed and shaped my fingernails but Marcy stopped her there. “Let’s at least have Jamie paint her left fingernails, and then we’ll determine if she can do the right hand or if we should take over.”
I chose a mauve polish that I was sure they would say no to, but instead, they complimented me on not picking the cherry red. We were just about done when Marcy and her brother were called home. Marcy jumped up and gave me a girly kiss and hug as she ran from my bedroom.
Monica cautioned me to wait until my nails were good and dry. By the time, we were going back to the main floor, the doorbell rang and our grandparents were coming through the door.
I had intended to be changed back to my boy clothes by then, but now everyone else was determined I should stay as Jamie. Grandma quickly spoke to me, “I wasn’t in favor of you dressing as Jamie, but I see you look just darling. I know you have made your mother very happy.”
While everyone was visiting, it was determined Grandma and Grandpa would be using the guest room, and Aunt Beth and Uncle Bill were using Dan’s room. Mom came over to me, “I hope you won’t be too upset but Monica is to stay in your room with you. You will each need to use the bathroom to change and do the necessary things. Dan and the other cousins will sleep in the big room downstairs.”
I asked, “Why can’t I be down there and let Monica have the room for herself?”
Mom surprisingly said, “Aunt Beth and I decided since you painted your nails and decided to stay as Jamie. We decided that we could trust the two of you to share the bedroom. Aunt Beth said, Monica was hoping to have some time to fuss with you as two girls.”
“Mom that was not my intention.” But it did end up the way it would be.
Sunday morning was the first time I got two large plastic eggs with pantyhose. Our Easter basket was pink and white, and it had two vials of perfume one for each of us, as well as sticks of lip gloss and small caches of makeup.
I was spared from having to go to church dressed as Jamie, instead, I got to stay home.
While I was alone, I got a call from Maria Giuliano, “Hi is this Jamie?”
I answered using Jim’s voice, “I’m Jim.”
Maria said, “I want to talk to Jamie.” When I told her we were the same person. she said, “I’m Maria Giuliano, and my mother, Rose, works with your mother at the hospital. So I need to talk to Jamie.” She continued to insist that she was to talk to Jamie and not me.
Finally, I agreed; and changed my voice. “Okay,” she waited until I introduced myself, “Hi, I’m Jamie. Is it alright, if we talk now?”
“Hello, Jamie, I’m Maria and my mother Rose works with your mother at the hospital. And we’re going to the Mother/Daughter events as well. I’m hoping we can be friends over that weekend. I know your friend Marcy at your school. I go to Union Catholic and I would like to talk to you about Jamie coming to our dance next weekend at our school. I intend to get my boyfriend Dallas to dress as Darla. If you and your friend Marcy came we could be a foursome.”
I knew her mother Rose; we had met and I considered her a friend. I asked, “Did your mother or mine put you up to this?”
Maria was upset by my innuendo, “It’s my idea, and so far our mothers don’t know about this. …I know Marcy and some others from Roosevelt High. I talked to Marcy and she’d be open to it if you are. She thought your mother would eventually be okay with it as well.” She asked, “Did you get a satin scarf from my mom this morning? It should have pink, lavender, and yellow flecks in it. I thought the dance would allow you to wear it and get used to looking like an attractive girl.”
I was honest with her, “I didn’t know your mother gave it, but the lavender, pink, and yellow are a bit overpowering and too girly for me.”
Maria said, “That’s the way it is supposed to be, and why coming to the dance would be helpful. We’re all going to the Mother/Daughter events and I want you to be comfortable in girl mode; do you understand?”
We talked for a half hour and I was still on the phone when others came home from church. I knew my phone already had a message from Marcy. And I had given in to Maria’s request to go to the dance if Marcy and my parents approved. I was beginning to dislike that I ever volunteered to be Jamie.
I called back to Marcy without checking the message. Marcy quickly asked, “Does your Mom work with Rose Giuliano?” When I said yes, she asked, “So did Maria call and speak to you as well? ...I will be willing to go if you can get permission.”
Marcy said, “I think it will be neat to see how this Dallas guy looks dressed as a girl. I knew there’s a Dallas that plays sports for St. Joe’s that is Union Catholic’s partnering school.”
My call from Marcy was interrupted by Monica saying that our mothers wanted our help getting dinner ready.
I hadn’t changed out of Jamie’s clothes and I told Monica I would be down right after I changed.”
“Your mother insists that you come as you are as we’re going to help set the table and serve the Easter dinner to the table.”
I said, “Tell my Mom I was already changing and then I will be right down.”
“Your mother said, that will not be an acceptable excuse. She heard you talking as Jamie.” Monica hooked my arm and was tugging me to follow her. “Anyway, this is my chance to see you in action girl.”
After Easter dinner Marcy, Monica, and I walked over to the park and we lay back with our heads near each other as we were lying on the ground and gazing into the sky. Suddenly, Monica giggled, “Here we are three girls, friends relaxing, talking, and looking into the sky.”
I said, “So what’s to giggle about?”
Monica whispered, “You’re one of the girls and it seems so right.”
Marcy spoke, “I’m glad Jamie’s willing to be here for her Mom. I think that’s neat. There aren't many boys like you Jamie.”
Monica asked, “Jamie what do you like most about being a daughter or girl?”
I said, “I don’t, we see things differently. I did it because I thought I should feel closer to my Mom than I do. I wouldn’t be doing this if I had thought about what it might include.”
Marcy asked, “What do you think of the clothes you’re to wear and about learning to do your hair or makeup?”
“It’s kind of fun, I know I’m not supposed to like it. But being a boy, it’s freeing in a way, I can look pretty and not worry about people seeing me as a girl.”
Marcy spoke, “Are you going to miss it once Mother’s Day is over?”
“No,” I said, “I’ll just get back to being the regular me. It will be fun having pictures to remind me that I did it once.”
Monica says, “What will you do with your girl’s wardrobe? I wouldn’t mind a piece or two.”
“I hadn’t thought that far, usually when I stop wearing something it goes to the back of my closet; until we get rid of it. Boys’ clothes don’t usually sell well; we just ended up giving most of them away.”
Marcy says, “I think we should save these and you can dress up again when others aren’t around." She asked, Monica, when are you likely to come back to visit?”
My brother Dan came to the park and said we needed to get home as Monica and her family had to drive back to Philadelphia.
On our walk back, Marcy whispered so my brother wouldn’t hear, “You know it’s not going to be that easy to stop being Jamie.”
I said, “By then, I’m fairly sure I will be ready for things to return to normal.”
To be continued…
He Volunteers to be her daughter for a Mother/Daughter Event...
He insists he's a 21st-century male who can handle it...
=^-^=
When we got back to our house, Marcy mentioned to my mother about my phone call from Maria. I told my Mom, “I told Maria I’d be willing to go, but that I’d need to get permission from both my parents. I don’t want you to permit me. It’s a stupid idea, and I don’t think Dallas Turner is going to want to do it either.”
Mom asked, “So you know this Dallas that she’s talking about?”
“I’m pretty sure it would be Dallas Turner, but he’s in ninth grade and a good size guy. He’d probably look like Zena the Warrior Princess if he were to dress up.”
My mother looked at Marcy and then Monica and back at me. It looks like you have already given your answer and it would not be fair to this Dallas if he says yes and then you back out. …I’ll talk to your father the answer is yes for both of us. It will give you a chance as Jamie to be out in public and where most of the others won’t know you.”
Aunt Beth said, “You just came back from the park that’s a public place and you gave neighbors and others a chance to see you as Jamie. A junior high dance: won’t that be like 7:00 to 9:00, if that long?
“Don’t you think it would be neat if a guy would dress up as a girl for someone like you’re doing for your mother? It could be that you’ve begun a new trend.”
Monica spoke up, “We can go home, mama. I’m pretty sure Jamie will be going to the dance and enjoying herself.” James looks at Monica and she gives him a knowing smile back. “Send me a picture Jamie!” Don Miller counted his other daughter and son; making sure they had everyone before leaving.
Marcy was smiling and saying something to Jamie as the others left. His Mom asked, “What are you teasing James about now?”
Marcy commented, “No one noticed that Monica was able to coax Jamie into wearing one of her new bras.”
His mother asked, “And how did she convince you to do that?”
Jamie was quiet and trying to turn away. Marcy indicated to his mother to follow them. Marcy said, “Far enough Jamie, it will just be between us three for now.”
Jamie stopped and began to blush, “She said, I needed to do it to complete the look that I’m a young woman and not acting like a little girl or a boy dressing like a girl.”
His Mom hugged him, “You honestly are acting like a very mature person. I am so proud of what you’re doing for me. You’ll never know how important this is to me. Now let me get a good look at you. I agree with Monica that it helps to complete the look of a young teenage girl.”
Marcy took a small bottle of perfume out of her purse and spritzed Jamie and his mother. “You’re bonding as a mother and daughter.”
Jamie hugged his mother, “I didn’t expect it to become something special.” They sat in the kitchen nook and each grabbed a Hershey’s kiss from the Easter candy dish. He watched the other two and like them cleaned his lips with the tip of his tongue.
“Jamie,” his Mom asked, “Would you do me a big favor and go get the sheets from the beds our guests used?” Marcy said, “I’ll help if she doesn’t mind.” The two of them went around to the different rooms. Marcy mentioned how she liked helping Jamie, and that somehow it seemed different.
They went to Jamie’s room last, where they found one of Monica’s camisoles left for him. As Jamie commented, “Monica must have forgotten this.”
Marcy said, “I don’t think so, look?” There was a note from Monica and Grandma. “To the new girl in the family.” The note had a new necklace on it, ‘From Grandma and Cousin Monica.’
Marcy said, “It would be nice if they each got a ‘Thank You from you Jamie’.”
Jamie hugged Marcy, “There’s a lot of things to being a girl.”
Marcy’s hand dropped to be on Jamie’s butt as they hugged, “I like the feel of how smooth and nice this feels. ‘Mm’, she moans.
Jamie said, “I hear my mother coming.” Marcy quickly moved her hands, before realizing Jamie was spoofing her.
Jamie picked up the cami and a matching pair of panties fell out of the bottom. Marcy said, “I bet your Grandma didn’t approve of Monica leaving the panty behind.” Marcy picked up the necklace and asked Jamie to turn around so she could put the necklace on her. “You should show your parents.”
His Dad commented, “Well you have enough support in what you’re doing. Now, one doesn’t have to guess Grandma if approves.”
Marcy walked to the door to go home, and Jamie went and gave her one more hug. She whispered, “I will enjoy seeing Jim for a few days at school.”
James had to take two showers one at night and another in the morning to get himself both smelling and looking like himself before he went to school.
Brad, one of his better friends commented, “I didn’t see you at church with your family yesterday. Dan wasn’t willing to say why. I was afraid, I might be seeing Jamie this morning.”
James was happy to be back to being himself, but he also knew his mind was having trouble concentrating on classes. He had his baseball glove and went to junior high practice. It felt good to have something that took his mind off of other things. He was in the shower after practice when he noticed he didn’t get all the polish off his fingernails. Fortunately, no one else saw it or they didn’t comment on it.
Brad noticed Jim hiding his hands as they left the baseball field after practice. Brad said, “You did as good of a job as we might expect a boy to do.”
The baseball coach upon hearing James was going to miss a few days because of his mom wanting his help. “It’s just junior high; I’m guessing you might miss a few games until we get to May.”
Jim thanked the Coach for understanding and not making a big deal out of it. “You are a good second baseman; it will be good when you’re able to concentrate on the game and continue your improvement.”
His Mom was off of work Tuesday and Wednesday as she’d be working this weekend. It wasn’t how James wanted it but his mother insisted it was Jamie and Marcy who were going to look for dresses and other things Jamie would need.
His mother announced, “Work has shared more information about the Mother-Daughter weekend. It will be on both Saturday and Sunday. And I’ve decided we’ll go into the City the Friday night before and go to a Broadway play. I talked to Rose and I bought a block of eight tickets for one of the productions. It’s a new production called “Six”.
James was ready to say something sarcastic; but saw the glow on his mother’s face. His Mom said, “If Marcy and her mother want two of the tickets; it will be a thank you for their helping. I’m sure Marcy would be happy to see you one of the times you are dressed up.”
“Are you serious Mrs. Evans?” Marcy said, “My Mom said you were wanting to do something for my helping Jamie, but this isn’t necessary.”
The dresses we looked at and tried on weren’t as special as prom dresses, more like nice evening dresses for a night out, was the way Marcy termed it. I didn’t understand my mother insisting I have three nice dresses. “I hope you don’t mind Jamie, but it’s what girls do, and it is partially a thank you for your favor for me.”
Mom bought a new dark blue evening dress for Marcy for the play and our dinner out. My dress for that evening was pink with silver sparkles. Mom said it would also do for the closing events on Sunday. By the time we were searching for the second dress, I was back in the mindset of finding something I would like.
I wasn’t excited about getting 3” heels, but Marcy insisted I’d get used to them. Marcy helped my Mom and the saleswoman get makeup for me to use with my pink dress as well as for the whole weekend. I learned later that Mom told Marcy I would have a makeover on Saturday. I guess, Mom didn’t want me to know too many things ahead of time.
Mom insisted I buy a red linen skirt for Friday night when Marcy and I are to go to the dance with Maria and Dallas.
Wednesday after school Marcy’s mother, Evelyn Robins, went shopping with us. It was a break for my Mom to have another woman to visit with as we were shopping. Evelyn said, “I’ve always liked James, I’m delightfully surprised how well she’s doing as Jamie.”
She told my mother that Marcy was hoping to have Jamie for an overnight after everything was done. My mother informed her about my cousin Monica sharing my bedroom on Easter weekend. “We just made sure they used the bathroom for changes. He won’t admit it, but it helped him to relax and be like another girl. The experiences add up.”
I spoke up, “But after the Mother/Daughter weekend I don’t intend to be Jamie anymore!”
My mother said, “Calm it, you won’t be forced to do anything, but I can’t see you not using all that you’ll have by then. You and Marcy are such good friends; I’d be surprised if you didn’t do something she wanted to do with Jamie.”
I hadn’t thought of it like that and I realized my mom understood my friendship with Marcy better than I did.
I asked, “Please don’t tell anyone else that I might agree to that.” The four of us agreed and it would be the last we spoke of it for a while.
Thursday and Friday were normal at school, despite my getting more anxious about the dance. Marcy and I had spent time after school on Thursday and were now practicing my dancing again at her house Friday after school. We were talking and I confessed. “I couldn’t believe that all this started with a silly idea of acting like a daughter for my mother. And here I am going to a dance as Jamie.”
Marcy smiled and said, “That had become obvious to me, but this is the first time you acknowledge it. My only concern is that I don’t lose you as a best friend.”
I interrupted her, “It’s just the opposite; it’s more likely you’re my soulmate. We’re best friends for life now. It dawned on me that being a best friend is more special than I ever imagined.”
Marcy agreed, “Now, I’m no longer afraid of you dancing with someone else. Because I’m happy for you.”
Marcy giggled, “Does that mean I shouldn’t worry about you dancing with any other boy or girl?” We both laughed as there was no way I could enjoy dancing with a boy. Come 5:00 I went home to change.
Marcy, my mom, and I agreed I would wear my red knit skirt and a white printed blouse. My mom insisted that I needed to eat a sandwich and some cottage cheese with a slice of pineapple. After I ate I finished doing my makeup. My mother encouraged me that it was appropriate to use a little more color for something in the evening.
I noticed that Marcy had done the same when she came over to my house so we would ride together. Marcy helped me to use more color and to refine my look. My mother had us pose for a picture. “I can’t believe this will be your first dance, Jamie.” Marcy and I both spoke up that we’ve had dances at school before. My mother said, “But they were no longer than an hour and for students in your class to get practice. Marcy, haven’t you gone to at least two other dances?”
“I’m a grade ahead of James, and it’s been three, and mostly the girls dancing except for the one dance where the school insisted the boys needed to dance.”
Marcy said, “James and I have practiced with him as Jamie, and it will probably be most girls dancing there anyway. Many of the boys are too afraid to ask a girl to dance. They’re embarrassed if a girl asks them.”
We were traveling to Maria’s school when my mother asked, “What are you going to do if a boy asks you to dance?”
I said, a matter of factly, “Then I’ll dance one dance and be done. Hopefully, it won’t happen more than once. Maria said we were a foursome, maybe that means it will probably just be me and Marcy and her and Dallas.”
My Mom said, “Rose indicated that Maria had someone who was going to ask to dance with Dallas. She didn’t come out and say it, but I won’t be surprised she has encouraged someone to ask you, to dance with them.”
I asked, “You weren’t upset with that; my dancing with another boy?”
She replied, “I expected it might be one of your experiences as my daughter. Since you’re only 14, I am not very worried.”
Mom’s car phone rang and she answered it. “Hi, Rose, we are almost there. So are you and I going to dinner while they’re at the dance?”
Dallas does look a little like Lucy Lawless who played Zena in the television program. But Dallas was in a modern dress and looked like an attractive athletic woman. He smiled when he saw me, “I hope you are happy that you caused this for me.”
I said, “You look attractive and very much like a pretty Amazon woman.” We both laughed.
We knew some people had recognized who Darla was and were wondering about Marcy or me. Like I thought when the dance began it was Maria and Darla dancing together and Marcy and myself.
We were into the second hour of the dance before several women came over and talked with Darla and me. Deva an eighth-grade basketball player finally asked Darla to dance with her. Kayla, one of Maria’s friends asked me to dance and we did. But when a slow song began a friend of Dallas’ asked me to dance with him. Kevin anticipated my saying yes, and so he took hold of my hand and drew me to him. Caught by surprise I followed as we went onto the dance floor.
My first worry was about slowing down and following his lead. His movement had a rhythm to it that made him easier to follow. He said I made an attractive-looking girl. “I know you played second base both in your school as well as a traveling team last summer. I play on the Mavericks and like you have played second base and the outfield. I was wondering if you were interested in playing softball as a girl?”
Kevin said, “I haven’t dated a boy like you but I think I could do it whether you were Jamie or James.” He said, “I know speaking up like this is much too soon, but I didn’t know if I’d ever get another opportunity.”
I was caught off guard and a little embarrassed. The dance was ending as he pulled me closer into a hug and whispered thanks. His hands had slipped down, and it made me think of something Marcy said the day before. I thanked him for the dance. He asked, “Would you be open to another dance?” I stepped away quietly without responding.
I stepped away surprised about what had happened but I was not upset about it. Soon they announced there would only be three more dances, and Kevin approached me again. I looked back to Marcy, and she made a silly smile while waving me to go.
When Kevin’s hands slipped down on my bottom; I told him ‘no’ and he brought his hands back to the small of my back. He said, “You feel like most other girls. Have you dressed up longer than Maria indicated?”
I said, “No, I’m just doing this just for my mother and a mother/daughter event. Then it will be all over with.”
When we walked off the dance floor and he was still talking to me. “It seems like you have gone through a lot of effort to be like a girl for just one occasion.” He gave me a piece of paper and said, “Just in case you would be open to going out with me, I would like to see you again”
I said, “Thanks, I guess.”
He whispered, “You don’t seem put off by my dancing or talking with you. It would be a pity if you went this far to look like a girl then you would stop.”
The last dance was just ready to begin; when I looked for Marcy and began to approach her. Another person was there before me, but Maria grabbed Marcy with one hand and Darla with the other. Soon we were incorporated into dancing and singing together the last song. I know I relaxed and enjoyed myself unlike I regularly would. The band continued the song at least two more times with more joining in dancing and singing. And we sang the chorus two more times.
Sister Lucille the Principal of the school finally broke in and announced the dance had ended. Maria came and thanked me for coming to their dance. Dallas confessed, “Hey, thank you, Jamie. I didn’t think it would be any fun, but it was an experience that I will not forget. My friend Kevin fears that he put a scare into you, but he said, he explained he might not ever see you again. He likes you and he’d have regretted it if he didn’t tell you how he felt.”
“I don’t know what you did, but he was thankful that you treated him with respect, and he appreciated not being discounted,” Dallas explained he was not sure what Kevin meant but he hoped I would understand.
Maria gave me an extra big hug and kiss, saying she looked forward to our weekend together.
=^_^=
Marcy, my mom, and I were driving home, doing a lot of talking, when my mother suggested we all go to our house and visit downstairs away from the others. Evelyn Robins met us and the four of us went quietly into the house. I guess my mother already called home; telling them what we probably would be doing and to leave us alone.
My mother asked about how my lipstick got smeared, and I hadn’t realized it had. Had I kissed Kevin and not remembered that I had? When Marcy suggested I check myself in the girls’ room. I had insisted I didn’t need to. I guess during our last dance I was one of three girls doing the limbo dance under the waist-high pole that others held. I was told that Rose had a picture that showed how high I had raised the hem of my skirt so I’d be able to complete the dance.
I had been in gymnastics until I was ten, so my mother wasn’t surprised at my ability. I guess I didn’t do anything too awful, but it was totally unlike me as James. We were talking at home when my phone rang, and it was Kevin. I had not remembered giving him my phone number.
My mother wondered aloud if she was expecting too much out of me going to a mother/daughter event. “Maybe we should cancel the mother/daughter event for us?”
Evelyn and Marcy Robins were startled, and without hesitation, they said, “No way, he’ll handle it quite fine. You should be happy that everything is upfront.” Marcy agreed as well as Evelyn. Evelyn said, “You have the most mature son just think how well he’ll understand and be able to converse with you and other women. He will have gained a perspective that most males won’t be able to comprehend.”
My mother was grateful to hear the assurance of the others. She got back to asking about Kevin and me kissing. I said, “I think having lipstick on was different. I feel embarrassed if we kissed.”
And Marcy assured my mother that I lifted my skirt only a modest amount during the limbo dance. That when we were sitting I usually had my hands in my lap with one hand at the hem of the skirt.”
After we were home, my mother and I talked more about the evening. She said, “I was glad that Rose’s daughter suggested you and the others had this experience. I didn’t expect it to be as involved as it was. I hope Kevin didn’t cause you to become too uncomfortable.”
Mom confessed that she enjoyed talking to me like a daughter.
To be continued…
Coming Event
He Volunteers to be her daughter for a Mother/Daughter Event...
He insists he's a 21st-century male who can handle it...
James’ kindness begins to snowball…
=^-^=
Trying to do something special for Mother sounded so simple.
On Saturday, I visited Marcy because I was wondering about having other girls' experiences. She was going to talk with her grandmother about teaching the two of us how to cross-stitch or do embroidery. I asked her if I’d look silly asking Ms. Ross to teach me how to sew. She was surprised that I noticed some girls’ blouses had what she called darts and embroidery work. The darts helped shape a blouse or skirt to accent the fit of the clothing.
Marcy told me to talk to my mother about whether it would be okay to have a regular girl figure for our mother-daughter event. I did, and my mother laughed, “It is okay with me, as it is not unusual for a girl your age to have developed breasts. I had thought you probably wouldn’t want to go that far in appearance as a girl.”
I said, “It is not that I want them, Mommy, but it is fitting that I am your 14-year-old daughter.”
She said, “We'll go to Bonnie’s Lingerie shop and, I'm sure, she will be very discrete in fitting you as my daughter.”
It was 7:30 that evening when my mother took me to Bonnie’s and we entered the store from the back of the store. Bonnie was smiling and speaking softly as she took my hand. “There are young girls your age needing my help as a young woman for special occasions. Please, let my daughter Barbie help you.”
I looked up to see Barb Turner was there. She had been a cheerleader before she graduated from high school. Seeing the change in my expression, she said, “I see that you remember me. I remember you often sat with young Marcy Robins. It seemed you were wanting to be like a cheerleader even then?”
Her mother had placed my hand in Barb’s and it was only natural to step toward her. “I know you have worn a bra already, but you should see this as you buy your first bra. Remember April 27th, may it become a special day only to you.”
Surprised, I began to say, “But I’m not planning on being a girl, I just wanted to look like a regular girl for a mother/daughter event.”
Barb smiled, “I understand, but don’t be surprised or ashamed. I don’t think your mom or I will be surprised; if your volunteering came from a deeper desire than you admit now.” She took me back to where she showed me some breast forms for a young teenage girl. “Let’s look at and maybe try a few to find what is most pleasing to you. Would that be okay?”
I cried from embarrassment, but I gazed into Barb’s soft blue eyes. They were calming, as she said, “That won’t do, I want to see a smile like mine.” And I found myself trying to please her. My blouse and camisole were not yet off, and Barb had shown me three forms to consider. “Which of these would you like to try first?”
I couldn’t believe it when I pointed to one pair and asked what she thought of them. She asked me to lay on a table, “For now I will use a mild adhesive that will make it easy to try these and others if need be.” She then gave me a choice of three small bras. And when my hands moved toward them, she invited me to touch and lift them and look more closely. She said, “You have a way about you that speaks nicely of your girl side.” I had looked at all three but felt myself lingering as I held one in particular.
Barb said, “It looks like you have settled on this one for now.” I am lying down as the forms are properly attached to my chest. I'm holding my breath as she carefully puts them in place. Barb is lightly pressing and touching the edges of the forms. My boyhood began to react when she placed a cold gel in a towel down near my legs. It had the desired effect. The first forms and bra appeared great to me. But Barb quietly had me try the different forms and several different bras. I was afraid she was going to be upset that I loved the first pair of forms in the first bra. Barb said, “You know we didn’t waste our time. Your first is often the right one, but I wanted you to take the time to help you learn how to experience such times as a girl. Now lay back and I will clean you off and use the better sealant to hold them in place for the next few days. I'll use good makeup to blend where the form and your skin meet.”
I quickly said, “But I can’t, others will know.”
Barb had this knowing smile, “You’ll need to wear a bulky sweatshirt around those you don’t want to know. But this is needed so you will get used to them. You can show yourself off to friends like Marcy. I am sure there are others you will want to show.” Barb left a white satin blouse; she left me so I could finish getting dressed. Bonnie walked out of the room with Barb, and that is when my mother stepped out from where she had quietly been watching.
I said, “Mom, she left me this simple white satin blouse, what should I do?”
My mother said, “Barb knows from experience how to show one’s feminine side off and have you become comfortable with yourself.”
“Mother, did you know that Bonnie having Barb do this for me? I didn’t even know Barb was her daughter.”
My mother said, “Bonnie suggested it when I called. I couldn’t have imagined how wonderful it went and that you didn’t even complain about the time it took.” I saw a clock and realized it was now after 9:00 p.m. and that I had taken over an hour and a half to choose one bra and my breast forms.
=^-^=
We were back home, and my father and Dan were surprised. My mother let Dan walk away, but she was straightforward with my father. “Doesn’t she look like a daughter we can be proud of?”
Mom encouraged me to go to my room and get ready for bed. I went to my room, but it was to my computer I went to and pulled up a new file, ‘my diary’, “April 27th, I was fitted for and bought my first breast forms and bra. Barb Turner, Bonnie’s daughter now in college helped me try and fit me tonight. I feel all giggly and girlie inside.”
Marcy soon called me, using my video line. “Where have you been all night? I tried calling you numerous times.”
“I guess my mother took my phone when I wasn’t looking. She had taken me to Bonnie’s shop and you won’t guess who awaited me?”
“By your excitement, I guess her daughter Barbara.” She said, “I see you wearing a new blouse and bra; I think it made you so wonderful that you ran out of there and all the way home.” I could hear a giggle in her voice. So do you feel like a girl with someone she admires?"
I said, “She even remembered me sitting with you in front of them cheering or when they played sports.”
Marcy said, “I’m surprised she remembered back that far, but I guess it was unusual for a boy to sit there.” I hadn’t remembered it as being unusual. “It was mostly cheerleader wannabes I guess.”
My mother knocked, came into my room behind me, and saw I was visiting with Marcy. Mom asked, “What do you think of my budding daughter?”
“Ma Evans, your Jamie is blossoming into a beautiful daughter for you.” My mother gave me a warm hug from behind.
Looking at the computer screen I could see our reflection. I probably felt as warm inside as my proud mother did. My mother suggested that I unbutton my blouse enough that Marcy could see my new girls.
Marcy complimented us on using good taste in choosing the appropriate size for my being fourteen. My mother left us to talk but limited me to another thirty minutes, and get myself to bed. Getting ready for bed now took 30-40 minutes longer than it had for me, Jamie.
Mom approached me from behind, “When Lori called with the reminder, she said, “It would be nice to see Jamie. So I suggest you go in femme today.”
I said, “But I still have school today?”
I knew I had already been to school as Jamie and it was okay. Mom said, “It is up to you, I’m not going to press you. It is time for you to know you’re making the decision. Just however you go, don’t wear a white top, when you go to the dentist.”
I ate breakfast, went to my room, and picked out my outfit before taking a shower. Dressing as Jamie meant I didn’t need to wear a bulky top. The colorful print top would go, nicely with my light blue skirt with red swirls.
I relaxed and enjoyed my shower. I knew I had been singing but it wasn’t until my brother Dan mentioned hearing me; then I realized I was singing the girl’s part of a Fleetwood Mac song. Mom walked by and asked Dan, “What song was she singing?”
Dan said, “I don’t know their songs but he was singing something about being in over my head.”
Mother said, “Over my Head, that’s a nice song. Jamie, what made you sing that song?”
I said, “I don’t know but it seems fitting, trying to be a girl is all but impossible for a boy.”
Dan chuckled, “You seem to be doing a great job with no problems.”
I said, “Quit teasing.”
Mom said, “I think he meant it as a compliment.” I looked at Dan and he was shaking his head up and down. Thankfully he soon left the room.
I asked my mother, “I don’t think I have any cavities, but I was wondering if our dental insurance covers teeth whitening?”
Mom had a hint of a giggle; but then said, “No, it doesn’t. But Lori the dental technician said if you thought about it. She thinks she could get your teeth two or three shades whiter, that would help your smile.”
“It’s probably a little vain for a boy, but I noticed Marcy has a brighter smile and that her teeth seem whiter,” I said.
Mom asked if I had anything important during my second class hour. She was happy when I told her no. Mom said, “Then you’re a lucky girl; Lori can do the whitening this morning.”
I asked, “Do you think the outfit I have out will be all right for the dentist and school?” She said it would be helpful. I asked, “Between going to school as Jamie and having my teeth whitened, do you think anyone might tease me.”
Mom said, “Why don’t you let Marcy and Teri know what you’re doing? They’ll probably have noticed anyway, but this would prepare them to support you. That would probably set the mood for how others respond.”
I text a message to Marcy, Molly, and Teri; and Marcy was soon on face to face with me. “Wow, James! Did you already have an appointment or do you think your mom is out to pamper her daughter?”
I asked, “What do you mean out to pamper me?”
“Well,” Marcy said, “I think your mother is enjoying this time and doing what she can to make this a wonderful time for you as her daughter. It’s the only time she’ll ever have. Whether she sees it as such, she wants to enjoy this time you have given her. Have you ever noticed she has such a bright smile has always taken care of her teeth, and has such sweet breath? I think she wants that as part of your experience as well.”
The time came for Marcy to go to school and me to the dentist with my mother. It’s a beautiful spring day with enough breeze to ruffle my hair. There is a clean spring scent in the air. I heard a bluebird chirp to me from a branch. It stood out in the flowering redbud tree.
My mother asked what I was so happy about, and I said, “I feel like a girl realizing that it is a beautiful spring day.” Mom responded that she saw me that way too.
I never liked riding to the dentist, but it was a cheerful trip. The receptionist said hello, and mumbled something about Lori being correct. Another young assistant was soon out to take me back. She said, “Lori was happy to hear that you came to Jamie …I hope you don’t mind but Lori let me know this was a special visit for you. I would not have recognized you unless she had.”
Lori the dental hygienist was in a cheerful mood as she came into our room. She said, “Dr. Brad said, I can check for cavities, but he doesn’t expect me to find any. And that if you are open to me giving you a teeth whitening treatment, I can start as soon after that as possible. While it can take seven to ten days to see the full effect; it will be two to three shades brighter when you leave. We have the Philips Zoom process and it might get even whiter. I’m sure the girls at school will notice. You have taken good care of your teeth so the contrast won’t be as obvious as it would be for others. You will probably feel like smiling more which is not unusual for some girls.”
I said, “My Mom said, it’s not covered by dental insurance; how expensive is it?”
Lori smiled as she patted my hand, “I am not sure what the actual cost is; you will need to ask the woman at the desk that. All I know is that your mother talked with them, and said they can manage that.”
They put thicker-than-usual wraps over my clothes and around my neck. She assessed I didn’t have cavities and that the process would eliminate plaque problems. They turned on the overhead TV and gave me earbuds to follow a Disney movie. It was Frozen II which I had only seen snippets of. I had to have my mouth rinsed out now and then and let them move around me. It wasn’t always comfortable, but it never hurt.
By the time Lori was finishing, Frozen II was almost over. When I saw the difference, I was very pleased and didn’t mind missing the last of the movie. Lori told me she used a sealant polish over my teeth, but asked that I not use lipstick for another two hours. I wondered if she knew I wanted to apply lipstick and see how my smile looked.
My mother was called back to see if she was happy and satisfied with the result. I saw the joy in my mother’s smile, so I quickly knew the answer. Even Dr. Brad was invited in to check on me. Lori said she did that so he wouldn’t be caught by surprise the next time he saw me.
He whispered to my mother, thinking I wouldn’t hear him. He said, “I might not have realized who she was if you hadn’t been in here with her.”
My mother drove me home so I could refresh my appearance before she took me to school. The school was finishing the third period of classes by the time I arrived there. The school secretary suggested I wait until the change of classes and go to my next class. I only had to wait a short time. Those like Marcy and Teri who saw me; quickly hugged me and pulled me into a girls’ room.
“Jamie, this is fantastic, but you should have some lipstick on,” Teri said. Marcy quickly got us to go to our next class in history. Mr. Bower soon noticed me; I knew he wasn’t excited about me dressing as a girl, but today he gave a small smile and didn’t say anything. When I raised my hand to answer, he called on someone else.
When I left at the end of the class, he was by the door and said, “I’m guessing this is your special weekend. I think you’ve handled things well. I hope you have a good time.”
I gave him a questioning look, as he was the last teacher I expected to acknowledge me and what I was doing. I didn’t know what to say back, I’m sure I mumbled a thank you.
We were leaving the cafeteria; when we bumped into my friend Pete and talked a short bit. The expression on his face changed as we were talking and he quickly excused himself. Molly and Marcy both gave me a tap and said I should be ashamed of myself. Marcy passed me a note and told me, “You caused Pete to get a ‘woody’.
When I tried denying it she passed another note, “It was not your fault nor his, that’s the effect a good-looking girl might have on a boy with hormones.” She had fun watching my facial expression change as I read her note. The idea was gross, but I knew it would not get any better by talking.
My last class was language arts and Ms. Stafford took notice of me as I entered the room. “I heard you came to school today Jamie. I agree with others that you look very nice today.” Ms. Stafford, hands down, is the prettiest of the teachers in junior high school. I knew other girls felt good when they got a compliment from her and I was no different.
Marcy was next to me as we sat down, and she handed me a new lipstick. But I knew we were not to apply makeup in class. Ms. Stafford spoke up, “Jamie Evans, if you need to use the restroom, please hurry and do so.” It did not take me long to get up, go to the girls' room apply my makeup and lipstick, and comb through my hair.
It was a class in which we were diagramming sentences and as we used our computers, the teacher could observe if we were getting it correct. She made one comment to Jeff and Pete about not talking and concentrating on their work.
Ms. Stafford had me wait after class, and asked, “You’ve usually been one of the boys having trouble concentrating. I hope you enjoyed that you were probably the distraction today.”
I wrinkled my face, “Gross, I hope not.”
Ms. Stafford said, “I doubt you have worked very hard to become a daughter your mother can be proud of. Getting boys to notice you, goes with the territory. Now you’ll have an understanding from the girl’s point of view. It is neither good nor gross, it just is,”
I paused and sat down, smoothing my skirt under me as a girl, I did so. I asked, “You don’t think it is weird that a boy is dressed as a girl and that I have other boys looking at me?”
She smiled, “It might be different, but you wouldn’t be the first girly boy to flirt in my class.” She corrected herself, “I don’t think you were flirting, I think it was normal for boys who see a new girl in class to get ideas as they do.”
Ms. Stafford said, “You don’t need to, but if you would like; you could talk to me about your weekend afterward and it would be just between you and me. I’ve done it with other girls.”
I knew it was a strange thought of me confiding in her, but I also liked she gave me the possibility. “I don’t know what to say, but thanks, Ms. Stafford.”
She paused, saying, “I like your mom very much, and I know if I were her, I would want someone to be there for my son if needed.” I quickly gave her a short hug and left the room.
I went to my locker to get rid of most of my books and put my computer in my bag to go home. Marcy was there and she smiled as she was happy for me. We stopped at her house and talked about how my teeth and smile looked…
She talked to me about the possibility of Jamie dating or going to dance after my weekend. It took a bit of convincing her that I wasn't talking about anything like that now. She had a suitcase for me to borrow for my trip. She had some small satchels with zippers that I could use for makeup and toiletries.
I’m listening, confused in believing I could be doing this and have the help of my best friend to do so.
It was after 5:30 when I got home but neither my mom nor dad had gotten home from work yet. I checked my messages and it wasn’t going to be until sometime after seven that my mother would get off of her nurse duties.
It was after 7:30 before she got home, and I was already in an apron and had started what we were having for dinner. The fish fillets were already thawed out and breaded. I knew the temperature to bake them at with just a squirt of lemon over each fillet. Mom hugged me and I knew it was one of the first mother/daughter times we would have this weekend.
To be continued…
Mother/Daughter Event
He insists he's a 21st-century male who can handle it...
James’ kindness begins to snowball…
The Mother/Daughter gathering has Jamie’s Tickled Pink
=^_^=
Previously: Marcy talked to me about the possibility of Jamie dating or going to dance after my weekend. It took a bit of convincing her that I was not wanting to talk about anything like that now….
I’m listening, confused in believing I could be doing this and have the help of my best friend to do so…
It was after 5:30 when I got home but neither my mom nor dad had gotten home. It wasn’t going to be until sometime after seven that my mother would get off of her nurse duties…
It was after 7:30 before she got home, and I was already in an apron and had started dinner. The fish fillets were already thawed out and breaded. I was to bake them with just a squirt of lemon over each fillet. Mom hugged me and I knew it was one of the first mother/daughter times we would have this weekend…
Now: When I got home from school early on Friday, my Aunt Beth was there to help me. I had ordered a gaff via a medical supply store and Aunt Beth agreed to help me put it on properly. It was embarrassing, and yet not. We reasoned this was the time that it would look better for me to be fully in girl mode. It was better that I be embarrassed with my Aunt and not later on my weekend.
I did not know that my mother had invited Aunt Beth and Cousin Monica to go with us into NYC and go out to dinner and the Broadway theatre. Monica had spritzed me with a perfume she was gifting me for the weekend. Neither did I expect Marcy to gift me with a nightie. Mom and I with Rose and Maria checked into our room for the weekend. Aunt Beth and Monica had a room across the hall as did Marcy and her mother. The four of us girls used two of the bathrooms and our mothers used the other two. It was enjoyable all the way around.
We had reservations at Da Andrea at six and our show started at eight that evening. Six is at the Atkinson Theatre; I did not know it was an over-the-top female performance. Da Andrea, an Italian restaurant, was ideal. I had chicken Parmesan and each of us daughters was given one ounce of wine to celebrate.
My understanding was the musical had something roundabout to do with the wives of Henry XIII. The moms got more of the humor, and Marcy, Maria, and Monica were more into the songs. I enjoyed the music and what I understood; usually, some joined in on the chorus of the songs. I would have enjoyed it as James, but being dressed to the nines and being one of the girls made it a fantastic evening.
I said, Goodnight and goodbye to Marcy and Monica before I went to bed late Friday at midnight. There were a dozen daughters of us who were rather close in age and enjoyed relating to one another as well as our moms and the larger group. Having New York City salon makeovers, hairstyles, and nail treatments was fantastic. Early Saturday morning other teenage daughters and I started the morning with facials and pampering. We wore terrycloth short-shorts and narrow terrycloth tubes to cover our breasts. I don’t know if all the moms were there, I only knew for sure my Mom and Rose were there to share in the experience.
Saturday afternoon we got to relax by listening to female singers; while watching a fashion show. Our moms got to buy one fashion item for themselves, and one for their daughter. We had three hours of shopping along Fifth Avenue which was to include a restaurant lunch. Having it geared for girls and women made things so different for me. I knew many of the famous male athletes, teams, and society names, but this was geared toward girls and women. Learning about women, girls, and our history as such was made to pique and hold our interest. Our moms heard and met some women that they grew up with and loved. We got to meet one of the Williams sisters. We also met women’s basketball players from Liberty’s BB, the Sharks FB, and the Gotham FC soccer team were there for the evening meal. They were beautifully dressed and talked about much more than sports. I’m fairly sure at least two of our special guests may have figured I was TG or a boy. Ali and Taryn both signed their team jerseys for me. Ali said she heard good things about me, which caused me to blush and gain the attention of others. Ali winked, “You’re safe with me.” She then commented on how nice each of us looked.
Sunday morning was a unique time of meditation using different proverbs where the Spirit of Wisdom, Sophia, was talked about. We had a time when mom listened to me about things I liked and my friends, especially my girlfriends.
And then I got to ask the questions of my mother and things she told me about the women in my ancestry. I rarely had ever thought of my mother or grandmothers as younger girls with their family names and identities. It was a great-great-grandmother who sailed across the ocean on a ship with sails. Her name was changed to Audrene Jones when the immigration person could pronounce her name. Her mom came to America as a single parent with her three children and a sponsor who hired her as a cook and housekeeper. I learned that my great-grandmother had a younger brother Jean. Because they didn’t have much he wore many of my great-grandmother and her sister’s hand-me-downs. He was often mistaken for another daughter. I learned I had distant cousins called Jones’.
My mom giggled each time I showered or changed my clothes and all she saw was her daughter in her panties and bra. On the other hand, I was glad I had my mother’s help in selecting the proper dress or outfit for certain occasions. Come Sunday morning I was regretting the thought of returning to being James. It was indeed what I wanted, but I knew I would miss looking pretty and the way I felt being a girl and daughter. Sunday late afternoon my father came to pick us up and take us home. But there was to be a dance before the event ended.
Some boys came from nearby churches, synagogues, and temples to dance with us. I got to dance with two boys one named Erik and the other David. David asked if I minded dancing with a Jewish boy, he was happy when I did not. I giggled to myself that I couldn’t tell if he was Jewish or not. After my second dance with Erik; he kissed me. I guess you could say we kissed as I didn’t pull away. It was after my next dance with David that he asked me if he could kiss me. I wasn’t wanting to be kissed by another boy, but I said yes because Erik had kissed me. I liked David’s kiss more as it was a mutual decision.
Afterward, my mother asked me if I kissed David longer because he got aroused, or did he get aroused as we kissed longer. She knew she was embarrassing me but thankfully kept it between her and me.
=^-^=
We stopped at a restaurant in New Jersey on our way home where my mother brought in an outfit and asked if I wanted to change back and look like James again. My parents were just having coffee and a piece of pie and I ordered tea and a piece of cherry pie. The place had a family restroom where I could have safely changed, I decided that I didn’t want to as I’d have to take off my makeup and jewelry as well. Or at least that was the excuse I gave. I don’t think I surprised my mom or dad.
Monday was the third day of May, the school treated it as Mayday and seventh graders were to help the lower elementary students make and dance around a Maypole with different color streamers. Many of the little boys were upset about dancing saying it was girlish.
I was approached by Ms. Stafford, one of my teachers, and she asked James why don’t you help show the younger boys that bigger boys liked to dance as well? Pete and Teri would tease me for acting like a girl again, but I talked Pete and Roger into showing the children it was not only me. I thought it was funny when it was Pete who was chosen one time to be wrapped with the streamers. Ms. Stafford whispered to him, “Peter this was usually for a young girl who was selected to be a princess for the day.”
The others who were wrapped by the colored ribbons were given a little tiara and wand, but Peter was spared that embarrassment.
Marcy and I have been talking a lot since I was back at school. Finally, at the end of school on Wednesday, I asked her, “Would you please come with me; I want to talk to Ms. Stafford?”
Marcy asked, “What do you think she can say?” Marcy knew that Ms. Stafford had said I can talk to her. When we got to her classroom she seemed in a hurry to leave.
I became disheartened, but Marcy said, “Ms. Stafford, I hope it’s not too important that you need to leave.” Ms. Stafford paused and looked at the clock and there was a strain on her face. Marcy said, “James has been worrying about something awful, and you said he could confide in you.”
It was Jamie’s voice that came from James; it surprised even me. “I liked what I did, but I feel so messed up. I want to be both James and Jamie, but I know that’s sick.” James said, “I know it’s not your problem and I can see you need to get someplace. I shouldn’t have come, I’m sorry.” James had turned around to leave, but he was shaking.
Ms. Stafford scooted in front of the door, blocking James from leaving. One of her hands lightly touched his shoulder. “I think; it is important enough to take the time. Thanks for trusting me to come here.”
James reached out his arms and wanted a hug and to say thanks, but he knew they shouldn’t touch. Ms. Stafford turned, closed the door, and closed the blinds. She said, “If we’re going to talk with some privacy, Marcy will need to stay.”
James sighed a sigh of relief. Ms. Stafford said, “I heard that the Broadway show and dinner went well. Before you tell me of your concern; tell me a little about the weekend.”
‘I wondered if she realized I might have liked everything too much.’ She said, “So whatever it is wasn’t the weekend per se?”
It felt good in a way that she heard of my joy as Jamie and now would hear of my concern in how I go on as James. I said, “I would so much like to experience the real Mother’s Day as her daughter, but I plan to continue as James; and don’t want people to get the wrong idea. It’s just that my thought of being a 21st-century male has more breath to it than I first envisioned.”
Ms. Stafford asked, “Is it that you’d like to continue cross-dressing; or more than that?”
I was caught by surprise that she seemed to understand there was more. I said, “I’m not quite sure, but gender lines are more a blend of rainbow colors. And I like the feel of the feminine side as well.”
It was then that I spotted an engagement ring on a nice gold chain. I couldn’t help it but my mouth went to the obvious question. “Ms. Stafford, are you engaged?” Marcy and Ms. Stafford were both surprised by my observation and question.
Ms. Stafford had unbuttoned one button with the absence of the class, and her movement brought the ring and diamond to where they caught the light. While blushing she said, “Now I’m going to have to ask that our confidentiality goes two ways.”
Both Marcy and I needed to gaze at the ring for a good moment. Marcy knew she had a boyfriend and that his name was Scott. Ms. Stafford said, “His name is Mr. Petersen to you two and others.”
Marcy got a broad smile and said, “He introduced himself to me as Scott.”
Ms. Stafford said, “You were one of the people who came to mind when he told me about your encounter, but he wasn’t sure of your name, at least he wasn’t telling me. I’ll still ask that you call him Mr. Petersen.”
Ms. Stafford asked, “Let us get back to you and how you see yourself, James?”
“Well, I can’t honestly say I’m quite sure,” James said, “I don’t mean to avoid answering.”
“I think he’s telling the truth about that. He has changed his mind more times than I can count since Sunday.” Marcy said, “And he hasn’t worn anything feminine that one could see since Sunday. Except when he’s alone, I think.”
They both looked at me; hoping that I’d confess more. I said, “We came here because Marcy knows what I’m thinking about, and my mother suggested I do something Marcy would want in another week, being Jamie for her. You said I could talk to you openly. And I’m a nervous wreck.”
Ms. Stafford said she wouldn’t help in putting on my breast forms on Saturday as I wanted. “It would be improper, with my standing as a teacher, and not knowing your parents better. I’d suggest it not be a surprise to your parents and that your mother is the best one to help you; if she’s alright with it. I would suggest Marcy’s mother would be my best suggestion otherwise. She should do it on Saturday and you should be wearing a bulky top, until Sunday.”
We were about to leave when Ms. Stafford spoke up again, “Thank you for trusting me. I hope you aren’t too disappointed that I couldn’t help you more at this time. But you might tell your mother we did talk, and that I suggested that the three of us might talk privately sometime.”
It may be the best way to go, but I’m more than a little scared about approaching my mother. But it is still something I need to do. We went back to Marcy’s and I practiced what I might say in talking with my mother.
Wednesday night my Dad and my brother went shopping for some Mother’s Day gifts. I asked to stay home, I was hoping it would be a good time to talk with my mother.
Ten minutes after they left, my mother spoke to me, “Why don’t you sit down and tell me what you’re pacing about?”
I sat down across from her and said, “Mom, I enjoyed last weekend very much.”
She says, “I hear a ‘but’ coming.”
I said, “You’re correct, I said I would be stopping. But I want to be Jamie for Mother’s Day this Sunday.”
Mom looked like she was trying to be angry with me, but she could not hold back her smile. “I was kind of hoping you’d ask something like that. But you know we’re going to Philadelphia to see Aunt Beth, my mother, and your great Grandma and Great-Grandmother. Great-Grandmother suggested if Jamie came, that we should get a five-generation picture of the women in my family including you. There’s Aunt Beth, Monica, and her older sister Kari home from college. Uncle Bert’s wife Tonia and their daughters Kiley and Lori. Grandma White, and Great-grandma Elizabeth Turner.”
“From your asking, I gather you, have found it rough trying to go back to being James. The simple answer is that you can be Jamie for Mother’s Day. I would be honored and neither your father nor brother will be very surprised or upset about it.”
We were in my room as we were talking and my mom had been walking about as we talked. But it was a little into our visit before I realized my mom was picking out some clothes that I might change into.
Finally, I confessed to having talked to Ms. Stafford about helping me for the weekend. “Mom, I’m sorry to say she suggested that I talk to you about my plan to be Jamie and not to surprise you… She said she would be open to you, her, and me talking some, time, but that, that should be up to you.”
Mom kind of giggled, but not, and then she said, “Ms. Stafford gave you some good advice. Would you like for the three of us women to talk sometime?”
I didn’t realize how much time had passed, but we heard Dan as he reached the back door. He called out, “Mom, wherever you are stay there and let us know where you are. Dad and I need some time and space to bring in your gifts and get them secured out of your sight. I don’t know what you’ve been doing, but it won’t hold a candle to how we’re going to treat you on Mother’s Day. We have it all planned out.”
Mom let him know where we were, and she told me to be quiet about what we’d just talked about. “Let me explain some things to your father. He will be comfortable with what we do on Sunday.”
“If it would help you to relax and unwind, you can change into your Jamie clothes.” I took the clothes and stepped into my closet to change even though it wasn’t a large closet. I hadn’t taken much time to change. Mom was uncomfortable with the fact that I hadn’t needed more time or help with my hair and a little makeup.
When Mom and I appeared at the top of the stairs; Dad did not seem to be surprised, but the same couldn’t be said for my brother. He spouted off, “That’s not fair Jamie had her time. It is our turn to treat Mom special.”
I said, “I’m not taking away from what you’re doing. I’m happy for you as well as Mom.”
He said, “But you’re being her precious daughter, I can’t win against that.”
Mom spoke up, “Dan, I’m looking forward to the special things you and your father are planning for me! But we’re going up to Aunt Beth and Grandma White’s. And there’s going to be a five-generation picture of Moms and daughters. I hope you will be all right with that.”
He said, “And you’re going to allow Jamie to step in as one of the daughters,”
Dan commented. “He’s not a real daughter, that’s not fair.”
Mom said, “I’d be open to you dressing and acting as my daughter.”
Dan said, “I’m not going through all she does to be a daughter for the day, I’d rather you brought home a broasted chicken, with mashed potatoes, broccoli salad, and squash.” I am sure Dan asked for the squash knowing that I didn’t like it. But I ate some just to spite him and please Mom. Dan complained about Jamie being neater than James in eating.
There wasn’t much in dishes, utensils, and glasses, but I cleaned up all there was; since it was Dan’s turn to clean up after dinner he did not complain.
Mom spoke to me later saying, “Dan doesn’t look up to Jamie as he had his brother.” It wasn’t the first time Mom or I noticed the difference. I had always wanted an older sister.
With Mom’s blessing, I went to school Thursday and Friday as Jamie. Marcy and a fair number of other girls greeted me. A few of them were a little agitated, “You better not be stealing any of our boyfriends.”
Come Friday, the Mc Cafferty boy asked me out but did not stay around for my response as others came close to where we were.
Marcy gave me a ride home from school. She stopped next to the park and asked me a question. “Lee Mc Cafferty said he asked you out for a date, but that you didn’t answer him.”
I better informed her about what was said, and Lee’s quick departure. Marcy said, “Do you understand how embarrassing that would have been if you said ‘no’, with others present? She asked, “Are you willing to go out with him if my boyfriend and I would go along with you?”
Surprised, I said, “You don’t think I should go out with him?”
Marcy said, “Did I look like I was joking? I’m serious and I’m waiting for your answer.”
“I would have to ask my mother.”
“Your mother indicated it would possibly be all right if we went early to dinner and then to Bowcraft for some games. Since tomorrow’s Mother’s Day and you’re going to be busy. She wants you home early.”
To be continued…
Mother/Daughter Event
He volunteered to be her daughter for a Mother/Daughter Event...
He insists he's a 21st-century male who can handle it...
James’ kindness begins to snowball…
The Mother/Daughter gathering is here
Jamie’s tickled pink…
=^_^=
I asked, “Who suggested Bowcraft?”
Marcy fired back at me, “I thought you were acting as your mother’s daughter; a date isn’t out of line.”
Not thinking, my response only prolonged the agony. I said, “Okay, but it will need to be next week. My family and I are going to Philadelphia in the morning and be there overnight. And I’m not used to packing as a girl going away.”
Marcy said the date had already been moved to next week. She then bubbled over saying, “Let me help you choose what to take and help pack them so they get there in good shape.”
When I told her about the intergeneration picture of the women in my mom’s family, she burst out into joy and laughter. My mom told her, “Counting Jamie there will be seven girl cousins. Grandma White and Great-grandmother Turner insisted with Kiley’s baby and Jamie finally dressing up they wanted the five-generation picture taken now.”
Marcy turned to me, “You didn’t tell me you’re an aunt now.” She turned to my mother, “Is there any way that Kira is going to be baptized while they are all together?”
My mother turned around quickly, “How did you guess, even Jamie didn’t yet?”
Marcy said, “I wonder if it might be possible, that’s what our extended family tends to do. I thought I should lend Jamie a lace head covering if that’s the case.”
My mom said, “She would look very beautiful as well as appropriate wearing one.”
My mother was happy that my date was delayed one week, while my father was now upset that Jamie was continuing. He did agree to be congenial with me through the trip to Philadelphia and being with family. He was better than his word. He complimented how I looked and behaved as we were up early and off to Philadelphia, Dan and my father had made my mother breakfast; Dan gave her roses and a valuable gift card, and my father announced a Hawaiian trip for the two of them. Needless to say, Mom was blown off her feet. My gift of a nice spring sweater that Marcy helped me to pick out was nice but didn’t match everything else that was going on.
I was wearing the spring sun dress my mother had bought me for our prior weekend away.
Wearing stockings added to my feelings of joy, but they weren’t noticed until we were with others.
Dan and I would usually get each other into trouble when we rode together in the back, but seemingly things were different for the both of us. I told my mother that I put off the date with Lee Mc Fatherly, and planned not to do it at all.
My Mom said putting it off was a good idea, but since you weren’t nice enough to cancel it, I’m going to insist you go on the date. Like Marcy, I think it is a girl experience that you have dreamed of.”
“I did not!” I protested, even though they were right.
Dan laughed, “It serves you right! My brother has a date with a boyfriend.” I was in the act of extending my hand to slap him; when my father said, “I wouldn’t if I were you.” I was ready to protest, but my father said, “I’m not happy about you having a date, but I agree with your mother, you should not have agreed to it if you didn’t plan to go through with it.”
“I’m putting on some music, I want you two to sing along with your mother. Jamie, you are to use your girl’s voice, and don’t argue with me.”
The first was a Carol King song, ‘I Can Feel the Earth Move’. Dan didn’t need to sing. It was the third song before I relaxed and sang along naturally. It did make the trip seem shorter.
We had stopped once for gas, and my mother had me accompany her to the women’s room. She said, “You asked about Laurie before, and I had you wait. Laurie’s called the little prophet because she’s done some unexplainable things since she’s been twelve. The biggest being praying over Aunt Beth when she was diagnosed with advanced cancer.”
“I didn’t know Aunt Beth has cancer?”
Mother says, “That was five years ago, and there’s no sign of it now. It was breast cancer and you were seven, so we didn’t tell you.”
Mom continued, “Laurie might want to talk to you about you being a girl. She was fairly sure she saw signs of it when she was ten but had only mentioned it to her mother. She has some new thoughts about it.”
“If she’s going to pass judgment on me I don’t need that. I’d rather not talk to her if that were the case,” I said.
Mom said, “We need to get back to the car, but you should be open to her; it is not about judging you. It could be good news but that’s for you to decide. I can be there if you want.”
“Mom, I’ve always liked Laurie, I sure wish it would be okay to talk to her.”
When we got in the car and started for Philadelphia, my dad gave us a hard time, “What took so long?”
Without thinking I said, “I was putting on some mascara and mom said I put on too much. So I had to do it over.” Mom giggled under her breath, but it was me who got my father’s ire.
“You shouldn’t be putting on any makeup,” he said earnestly.
Mom confessed to him, “She’s kidding you.”
We drove north around Philadelphia to West Chester where my grandparents lived. Three of my cousins were out front watching for us to arrive and before we could get out of the car; five of my girl cousins were there to greet us.
I’m not sure who said it first, but there was a chorus of “Oh my” as I got out of the car and where they could see me. Cousin Liza said, “I like how you look, Jamie. We don’t want to hurt your feelings, but we have a few ideas about what you might wear for the pictures. Great-grandmother and Grandma are both looking forward to seeing you.”
Cousin Carrie says, “We’re also wondering if we can help you with makeup ideas. Have any of the girls who know you, helped you with different looks?”
I felt giggly inside with the attention they were giving me as it was too much too fast.
We gathered around a large dining room table to tea, coffee, or water and pastries or buttered rolls. There were just over a dozen family women around the table including Kiley and baby Chantel.
I sat down next to Kiley before I realized she was nursing Chantel. I guess my face was turning red. Kiley told me, “Please stay seated, I can tell you’re surprised.”
I apologized, “I’m sorry, nursing her caught me by surprise. I’ve seen pictures, but part of my reaction is because of how boys generally look at this. It is much more beautiful than I ever imagined.”
Kiley smiled as she said, “It’s okay to look, just don’t ogle like a boy, but as you said take in the beauty as another girl.”
“Can I hold her after you’re done nursing her?” I asked.
Kiley had me put a cloth on my shoulder and asked if I’d mind burping her. After I got over my initial fear of even holding her. I brought Chantel up to my shoulder as they directed me and gave her gentle pats on her back, and she burped. I was left holding the baby as Kiley cleaned herself and Chantel. Chantel was soon asleep in my arms.
I usually found a bunch of women or girls talking boring, but now it was interesting. And what I didn’t easily understand, I was patient and took it in for what I understood. I even found myself talking to another one of the girls.
Cousin Monica asked me, “Do you still see yourself as a 21st-century male?” I responded by denying what was happening and saying, “Sure as soon as tomorrow I will go back to being James.”
Monica told me, “I don’t think so, you’ll still be here until Tuesday.”
I called over to my Mom, “Mom are we staying over tonight: I didn’t pack anything?”
She said, “I packed for everyone, don’t worry about that. I also arranged so they know you and Dan won’t be to school until Wednesday.”
Monica asked me, “Please follow me, and I’ll show you what we’re wearing for the five-generation picture.” I followed her upstairs to her room which was laid out like a sleepover. I didn’t dare ask if I was staying in here tonight.
She showed me the brightly colored sundress she would be wearing and then a pretty sundress of blue and yellow pastel flowers with green leaves and vines on a white dress. I couldn’t help but appreciate how beautiful it was and think it was for me. “Monica, do I have you to thank for the dress?”
“I’m glad you like it,” she said, “it was Kari, Laura, and I who thought it would be nice for you.”
I laughed, “It will probably be the prettiest dress I ever get to wear.” Monica told me to go shower so I can change into it. That she would help me with my makeup.
I went into her bathroom to shower and saw a fresh pair of panties and a bra there, Monica indicated they were for me to put on after I was clean and dry.
Hearing that took my thoughts back to when Monica first met me as Jamie and wanted to paint my fingernails.
It was different showering as a girl with the small breast forms and my gaff on. I let go of my inhibitions and allowed myself to continue in my good mood as Jamie. I didn’t tell anyone, but I had the feeling of being an attractive teen like Monica. But I spoke to myself, “Wednesday if not Tuesday, you’ll be back to being myself James.”
The bathroom door was ajar and I heard Monica saying, “I’m not sure about that.” Sadly, neither was I.
I had worn the hair cap while I was in the shower. It made getting dry much easier. Once I had on the panty and bra set, I called out, “Hand me what goes over these, so I can come out.”
Monica and now Laura said, come out and we’ll help with the rest. It took a bit of coaxing before I stepped out like I was. I was asked to choose which pair of stockings I wanted to wear; there were three different pairs. Monica had chosen one pair and Laura had selected another. Needless to say, I chose the third pair, which was now pointed out to me, that didn’t go well with my dress. Thus I ended up choosing the light tan pair that Laura had suggested. They both helped me to slip into my dress and then covered my front and should with a clean dishtowel and began to do my makeup and brush out my hair.
I was like a young girl mesmerized by how they improved my look. I felt all giggly inside but didn’t express it as I thought it would make me look like an immature girl.
Laura had finished with my hair and went to freshen herself up before getting dressed. She came out like I did, down to her panty and bra. I was not ready to see how nice a nineteen-year-old young woman looked. Her dress was a light spring white dress with lace work and embroidery.
I didn’t notice Monica undressed; until I saw her dress falling over her.
It was mid-afternoon when we all posed in front of the fireplace mantle for our group picture. There we many more photos taken of smaller groups with Grandmother and Great-grandmother.
Without question, the most precious picture was of the grandmothers, her mother, Kiley, and Chantel who made it a five-generation picture.
My picture as one of the female cousins with our grandmothers was more than precious to me.
I was whisked upstairs to change into a short-knit dress as we cousins were getting our picture taken together. My makeup was changed to evening makeup as though we were going out together. I was posing in the center of the photo. We had just one of the cousins and another with us great-grandma, and grandma. Great-grandma Turner had me come to her. She smiled and said, “I want to thank you, “Once I heard you were being a daughter for your mother, I knew I want to see you and personally thank you for making my day as well. You make quite an attractive young woman, and I certainly would not mind if you showed yourself more often. Please, come and visit me at the assisted living center so I can show you off.”
Automatically, I said, “You can’t mean that.”
Grandma Turner’s eyes became serious and she said, “Don’t you ever discount what I say to you again. I love you James/Jamie. Do you hear me?”
“Yes, Grandma, I love you too.” She had me kneel and turn around in front of her and pull up my hair from around my neck. She then attached a precious cameo necklace around my neck. I knew she had done that for each of her daughters and granddaughters. I touched the necklace as I turned to hug her and thank her. My eyes were already filled with a tear in each eye.
She lightly giggled, “I see you already know not to let the tears flow and ruin your makeup.” She gave me her delicate handkerchief to absorb my tears. I knelt next to her chair and we talked for a good while.
Later, some of the men were watching a baseball game, and others a golf tournament, and part of me wanted to be with them. Laurie, Lisa, and Monica talked me into going with them to see a college women’s twin bill at the University of Pennsylvania against Princeton at the University of Penn’s ballfield. Cousin Kiley was already there with her daughter Chantel. She had played for Penn two years before and before the first game she got to visit with many of the team’s players.
I was loving my experiences of entering into the women’s world as another woman. Some of the changes were subtle but profound to me. Deidre one of the players drew attention to me, asking, “Aren’t you the boy James from my home town; who’s gotten into experiencing this Mother’s Day as your mother’s daughter?”
Several teammates gave her a difficult time at first since they were sure I was another girl. Kiley spoke up, “Jamie maybe her, but it is for her to acknowledge. I believe Jamie’s identity has grown stronger over the past month and a half.”
Kiley gave me Chantel’s diaper bag with a feeding bottle as Kiley wanted to be sitting in with the team for the first game.
Monica talked to me during that game about feeling like I was being baptized by an estrogen emersion into women’s life. I retorted, “How can you say that, I’ve told you numerous times I’m going back to being James and staying as James. How can you believe otherwise you know me?”
I’ve heard your words, but you picked out a precious pair of ankle boots, you’ve gotten a pedicure, and you already had your hair done at a salon. I bet you have a wardrobe that outdoes James’s.” She pauses and then asks, “Which do you want to deny first?”
I said, “Even if that’s true, I can’t disappoint my mother and my dad!”
Laurie was nearby, “There’s no evidence you would disappoint your parents, quite the opposite. They have gone out of their way to support you. Even your father has come around to accepting you as Jamie, is that not so?”
“What do you expect me to do?” I say, “Go back to school and sit in class as Jamie?”
Monica speaks back up, “If that is part of whom you want to be, why not? I think Marcy and a lot of girls and some of the boys will be with you.”
I asked, “Monica, do you think Marcy and others would accept that? I don’t think I could do it just to be acting.”
Monica is handing me her phone, “Marcy, just a moment Jamie has a question for you.” I’m taking the phone and I answer without trying to change my voice back.
“Marcy, what would you and the other girls say if I came to school tomorrow or Thursday as Jamie?”
“It would be about time; I’ve been hoping to have you as Jamie my best friend.” I didn’t mean or expect to cry, but I started and couldn’t stop. Marcy speaks up from her end, “I’ve been waiting for you to break down; I only wish I were there to comfort you with a hug.” Monica and Laurie step around me and Monica speaks into the phone, “We’re here and we are happy to fill in for you. We are glad to affirm what we thought; people will be there for her…”
To be continued…
Mother’s Day and Beyond
He volunteered to be her daughter for a Mother/Daughter Event...
He insists he's a 21st-century male who can handle it...
James’ kindness begins to snowball…
Mother's Day and a five-generation picture of women...
Jamie’s tickled pink…
=^_^=
Previously: “It would be about time; I’ve been hoping to have you, Jamie, as my best friend.” I didn’t mean to cry, once I started and couldn’t stop. Marcy speaks, “I’ve been waiting for you to break down; I only wish I were there to comfort you.” Monica and Laurie step around me and Monica speaks into the phone, “We’re here and we are happy to fill in for you. We are glad to affirm; people will be there for her…”
Now: When we were alone again, I asked, “My mother said you prayed for your mother to be healed years ago of cancer. Would you be willing to pray for me to become a girl?”
I heard Laura gasp, I pause and said, “I thought not, it was a stupid request.”
Laura looks to Monica and then to me, “It is not a stupid request, no serious request is stupid. I’ll tell you what I told my mother, one, we prayed numerous times during her recovery. I told her it is not like I have a special power. God will decide to heal or not, or how. If God worked through me, we’ll never know.”
She pauses and then I see a smirk cross her face. “My mother had cervical cancer; we weren’t afraid to put my hands near it. I’m not comfortable doing the same with you. Plus, it isn’t an illness in the classical form.”
Monica says, “Why don’t you put your hand inside of her thigh? That may be close enough and you said an area often warms up if something is happening.
We went to Monica’s room for privacy, and no one we passed asked any questions. Laura asks me, “Focus your faith” and she places her hand inside my thigh, having pushed up the hem of my skirt a little. She began by praising God and calling Jesus a ‘great physician’. It wasn’t one of her shortest or longest prayers, but I can tell she was serious in her asking. I couldn’t tell if I was getting warmer because of her hand and where or if it was the prayer. Monica prayed too. I could feel myself getting warmer, but I didn’t feel anything change. Before she finished praying, she said, “Yes God…”
I said, “Thanks, God.” I too felt sure that God was open to my request.
When the prayer was finished, Laura asked, “Monica, please go ask Aunt Carol to come here and please come back.”
Both my mom and my father came into the room as well as Monica. Laura first asked my mother, “Aunt Carol does Uncle Matt know about my mother’s healing from cancer?”
Mom says, “Yes, he in some ways has a stronger faith than me. My belief was mostly as a sister wanting to believe at first. Why do you ask?”
“I think God wants to heal Jamie, but I believe it will need to be in the more traditional way of using today’s procedures. God is ready to heal her spirit and give her patience.”
I felt mildly warm and comforted when Laura prayed for my healing. I am not the most religious person but I am a believer. I had a strange feeling of God’s presence during the prayer which gave me a sense of peace. My Mom and Dad both commented that they would be open to supporting me in needed changes.
Dad’s response took me by surprise. “Would it be okay if she continues from here on as Jamie, if the doctors she has met with agree to that?”
Laura said, “If they agree that she is ready for a real-life experience, I believe it would be wise.”
We drove home late Tuesday night, but I was kept home until Friday. That allowed me to see Dr. Sharon my mother’s GYN doctor. I had seen her after my weekend with my mother. I had also seen Dr. Marie Jensen last Thursday for some tests and an evaluation concerning my gender issues.
Dr. Jensen was the first I saw Wednesday afternoon. Dr. Jensen said, “This is a highly unusual request. The present tests and evaluations are too soon to give any ground for suggesting you are transgender. But in light of the past two months and your strong desire, I am open to supporting your request to the school to be seen as Jamie Evans for the remainder of the school year. That is subject to the evaluation of Dr. Sharon Collins.”
My appointment with Dr. Collins was at noon on Thursday. My mother and I were there as the clinic was seeing the last of their morning clients. Dr. Collins seemed to have a soft spot for my mother.
The last girl to come out with her mother; looked at me quizzically. Her mother was making an appointment for another time. Shelia was the girl’s name and I had seen her other times in competition activities against Marcy and others from our school. Finally, Sheila remarked, “I’m sorry but you look like someone from Roosevelt High School, do you go to school there? I’m Sheila, I’m from Piscataway High School.”
I prayed my voice wouldn’t betray me; as I said, “Some of my friends have competed against you.” Fortunately, I was called by the nurse before I said more. I don’t think she caught my name when I was called by the nurse.
Nurse Smith took my vitals and asked how my Mother’s Day events went. She got me to say more than I intended. “Your vital signs are all good. Even better is that you seem comfortable with yourself. Am I surmising right?”
I said, “Thank you, I tend to be shy, but you have a knack to get me sharing about me.
I’m nervous about seeing the doctor, even though I want to.”
Nurse Smith said, “That’s quite normal for a young teen girl. Your world is ready to blossom. You’re excited about it, and yet a bit anxious.”
It struck me that she said that I was acting like a normal girl. I wanted to thank her for that, but I was sure she would think it strange.
I had texted Marcy as I left the doctor’s office that I would be going to school for the rest of the school year as Jamie.
Soon after the school was out, my doorbell rang and soon the door opened with Marcy rushing in and jumping on me as I fell back onto a cushioned chair in the living room. Marcy embraced me with a hug and gave me a smothering kiss.
“What’s come over you, Marcy?” spoke up my mother.
Marcy rolled half off of me to turn her head to my mother. “Not what you think, but maybe something you might remember. I can be with Jamie differently from James. I often wished he’d embrace this part of himself. My mom once said; she thought you and Stacy might have been like this back when you were in high school”
Jamie saw the look on her mother’s face quickly change, what did that mean?
Carol Evans sought to catch her breath, thinking back to the time Evelyn Robins had referred to. Carol White and Stacy Hatcher were close friends and demonstrative in showing their affection for one another. They had remained close even into their first year of college; when romance with others entered both of their lives. Marcy’s friendship with James/Jamie had brought memories back to Carol’s mind. Marcy asked, “Are you going to tell Jamie and me who and what came to mind?”
“No, I might tell Jamie sometime in the future, but not know, and probably not if it’s James.”
I asked, “Why not if I was James? Are you talking about your friend Stacy Howard? Was she part of the Hatcher clan?”
Mom said, “Now I want you two to go upstairs and let Marcy show you how to hang what’s needed and how to fold and put away your other new clothes as well as what you got this past weekend.”
Marcy grabbed my hand and we ran upstairs. Marcy got the clothes out of the shopping bags and put them on my bed. We had to make sure all the tags were off of them wherever they went. She looked over to some of the other girl clothes that I had bought in Philadelphia or received from my cousins.
“Ge girl, you’re off to a great start. And your mom said there would be more if you’re going to remain Jamie.” She then told me, “Strip down and let’s see what some of these look like on you.”
“My mom never mentioned my modeling them for you and she’d be angry at me if I changed here and showed you.”
Marcy retorted, “Don’t give me that your mother knew what she was doing in sending us up here together. Now, get down to your panties and bra, and try on this skirt and blouse first… Some things should go into the wash before they’re worn.” Marcy stopped and stared at me until I began to change. She watched me afterward, I guess as one girl to the other.
Once I got over the initial awkward feelings; things became fun as I got into being Jamie and with my girlfriend. Marcy would tell me what kind of pantyhose or leggings might look good with what. She even had me identify colors of makeup and especially eyeshadow and lip gloss that would go with what.
Mom called us and said dinner was ready and that Marcy was cleared to stay for dinner. It was already after six-thirty; we had lost track of time.
Coming downstairs, I saw Danny as he looked at me. “So I’ve lost my brother for now. I guess I won’t mind if this means other girls will be coming over.”
Mom and Dad smirked, at the reaction and the kind of acceptance Dan was making. It was as though he had negotiated in his mind what would make it acceptable for him.
We began eating dinner and Mom asked Marcy, “How did she do in learning to hang up her clothes and fold others to be put away?”
“She’s doing well, but she got nervous,” Mandy said, “when I had her try some on before we put them away or set them aside to be washed first. I think she was surprised that she’d be getting more if she remains Jamie after school lets out for the summer. We also picked out some clothes she’d like to wear tomorrow.”
Danny spoke up, “Hey Dad, when are we planning to take in a baseball game?” Dad chuckled as he realized Danny was wanting to change the conversation.”
Dad asked, “Do we want to take in a game in New York or go to Philadelphia?” It didn’t matter to Dan as long as his former brother wasn’t going.
Mom kept talking to us about what we chose and how I was doing in learning to care for my clothes.
Dad and Dan were planning to see the New York Yankees as Danny wanted to see Aaron Judge play. After dinner, they went online to see the Yankees’ schedule and the various seats and prices.
We cleared the table and started the dishwasher, and then Mom came upstairs with us to see what we’d done and the outfit we chose. I was enjoying our time, but it also felt different.
Finally, my mother asked, “What did you do with the dolls, posters, and other things that your cousins gave you? I pointed over to the wall behind the door to my room. “Over there, do you like how I have them?”
My mother looked, smiled, and then turned to me. “It looks nice, but I don’t want this side of you hidden away as it appears to be. Before you go to sleep, I want you as Jamie to begin claiming the room for you. I don’t expect James to be going fully away, but I want to see more posters, music, and other expressions to be showing you, Jamie.”
Mom left the room and Marcy pointed to the poster of Nomi Ruiz as Jessica 6 and asked, “Who is she?”
I said, “Cousin Monica says, she’s Nomi Ruiz and the poster is from when she was Jessica 6. She’s supposedly a noted transgendered singer.”
“I guess I may need to learn about this, she may be part of my heritage if I’m a transwoman. I feel like a young girl, who has so much to learn. My mother is encouraging me to make this my room as Jamie’s”
Marcy asked, “Do you mean that?” She hugged me and called me a sister.
When Marcy went home at 8:00 pm., I was fairly sure she felt I was acknowledging who I am as Jamie.
I’ve been to school before dressed as Jamie, but tomorrow would be different, knowing I would be dressing as Jamie. I took off my makeup, showered, and finished cleansing my face and moisturizing my skin. I put on my teddy bear pajamas, but put on my long robe to go downstairs. Where my mother called me into their bedroom. She has a calendar for me, and it has marked out four days as a reminder that girls regularly have their period and the side effects that go with it. My first four-day period would be in two weeks, which means I will be reminded of what real girls experience. It would include wearing pads and/or panty shields. The next time would happen as I was still in school. I protested but my mother insisted I be like my girl friends.
I go back to my room with time to paint my fingernails a plumb red. This way I won’t be rushed in the morning. My hair is also pinned up to keep its style.
I got online to face time with my cousins Monica and Kari. I didn’t mean to get emotional or near tears as we talked. I wasn’t sure if they be happy or anxious tears. Kari was pretty sure they were happy tears, overly happy that I was entering my new life. Monica suggested I wear the perfume I bought in Philadelphia hoping none or only a few girls might recognize it. I was a half hour late in getting to bed. I sighed as 5:30 was going to come early.
Come morning, I realized while the skirt was appropriate for spring, it was shorter than I was planning to wear to school. My mother knocked on my room door and poked in her head. She realized that I was nervous about wearing the skirt, but prompted me to go ahead and wear it. “It is a pretty skirt and it makes a very nice outfit. You don’t want to get into second-guessing everything you do. It will help you to be mindful to sit gracefully like the girl you are.”
I wore just enough makeup to make me attractive without going overboard and hiding the signs of being James. Marcy and her older sister Tonya saw me via our internet connection and they were pleased for me saying that I looked very nice.
Once I got to school, my friend Peter said, “You look pretty good as a girl.” He whispered that like himself other boys would know I was James. He said, “Who’s your public relations person? There are several girls ready to support you being here. I even think they’ll run interference if someone tries to hurt or embarrass you.” Peter paused, before saying, "Briggs and I will be here too.”
It seemed strange as a girl to be talking to Peter, but I was sure I would get used to it in time. A girl name Cortney came and walk with us to our homeroom. Cortney thanked Peter saying she was happy that one of Jamie’s male friends was standing with me. She excused us as she pulled me into one of the girls’ restrooms. “You should make it a habit to come in here and check your appearance. Girls regularly check to make sure their hair and makeup have survived our coming to school. Weather can mess up our hair, or cause our makeup to smudge. One would feel silly going through a day at school, not knowing one’s appearance was spoiled and made you look different for the whole day.”
The day went quite well, though some teachers wanted to make sure it was me. A couple did not appear to be happy that I’d be Jamie through the remainder of the school year. Next week I would need clothes for gym glass as a girl. I’d be asked to use the unisex bathroom and shower.
Toni and Cortney were becoming my close friends. I sat with them and other girls come lunchtime. I went with them after school to Cortney’s home. Marcy would pick me up and take me home. I knew Toni was a friend of Marcy, and Cortney’s house was chosen because it was close to school. Toni and I were invited up to Cortney’s room, but it was mostly for my benefit to see her room.
Cortney put on some music as she changed out of her school clothes. She had showered and changed her clothes, put her hair up in a ponytail. It was cute as she squeezed herself into a pair of tight jeans. She giggled saying, “Marcy told me that you would handle my changing clothes as one girl being around another.”
I swallowed gently not knowing what to say. Finally, I said, “Hopefully, it will be something I get used to as one of the girls. But today, I forgot to excuse myself. I guess if you don’t mind, it is more of a problem of how I see myself.”
She handed me one of her Ty Babies to keep as we went back downstairs to wait for Marcy. The Ty Baby was a cat named Cutesy.
When Marcy arrived we stayed and talked for a few minutes, which became closer to an hour. Before we left there; it was agreed we’d go shopping and then bowling tomorrow around one.
Saturday morning, I was helping my mother plant our flower beds and some vegetable plants in the garden. I normally would have changed, eaten lunch, and been ready to go shopping in the afternoon. Mom reminded me as a girl I needed to shower, change clothes, and do my makeup and hair before I was ready to go shopping. She said, eating lunch for a girl would be optional. My mother and I talked about some changes I would like to make. Mom and I would go shopping for those things on Sunday afternoon.
My mother gave me a bank card with my name, Jamie Evans, on it. It would be good to use as I went shopping today. My Mom gave me my account balance; it was $300. With it, she gave me the responsibility to keep track of my spending. I could count on getting $20 each week. My mother said, “If you do noticeably well around the house, you will be given more allowance.”
Marcy was early to go shopping; she had some things to help decorate my room. She said, “I can see a difference in your hair and complexion the more you’re using the shampoo and conditioners as well as moisturizers and shin cleansers.” She said, “I bought this knowing you like goldfinches. I think yellow is one of your add-on colors. She explained that she was talking about the complimenting colors of my outfits or makeup. This reminded me we should get someone who helps a girl find what colors are what we say, your colors.”
There was a ring of the doorbell and then my Mom said that Cortney and Toni were there. I quickly showered and after I was dry and wearing a panty and bra; I was urged to come out into my bedroom to finish getting dressed. Marcy spoke up saying I didn’t need to. But I was already opening the door and coming out.
I quickly stepped into a pink denim skirt and was putting on my blouse, when Cortney stopped me. She unbuttoned a few of the lower buttons and tied the two portions of the blouse together at the bottom. It was more of her wanting the blouse to hug my waist, and me to get used to my mid-section showing.
I introduced my friends to my mother and then to my brother who came into the living room.
Toni is a cheerleader, which is why Dan showed up. He spoke up saying, “I know your sister Mariah, she’s in my grade.”
He smiled when Toni said, “Yes, she said she knows you. You don’t need to be a girl on the inside, but she’d like it if you had James’ sensitivity.”
“She said that,” Dan asked.
Toni responded, “What she likes is that you’ll probably be bigger than James.” One could see Dan’s chest puff up with that comment. Toni turned and focused on the group of girls.
Before we left my house to go shopping; Toni told my mom, “Mrs. Evans, the group usually eats together after shopping and decides if we’re going to a movie or going to someone’s house afterward. Would that be all right with you?”
My mother asked, “Are there going to have any boys with you?”
“Only if they buy our meals and tickets for a movie,” Marcy giggled; “But that would be a nice possibility.”
My Mom said, “With no guys older than fifteen. And Marcy, it would be a new experience for Jamie to be staying with the group.”
The others and I were surprised that my mother was open to my going with them if boys showed up. We became silent and just affirmed hearing what she said.
Toni’s mother gave us a ride to the Kensington Mall as it had four major stores and a lot of other stores that interested women and teens. We were mostly looking, but we each bought two or three things. Toni and Marcy talked me into looking at swimsuits and then coaxed me into buying a two-piece suit that was red and yellow. They insisted I needed to be getting a tan before we went to the beach.
“I don’t think I’ll be ready for the beach this summer.”
The three of them giggled, telling me to get real. “You aren’t going to be a girl to become a nun.”
Some guys seemed to be following us some of the time, though they did not go into Maurice’s or Victoria’s Secret. I did buy a bra with some inserts. Cortney and Toni agreed that I would blend in well with the average girl in our grade.
We were eating in the mall food court, I bought a fresh salad with grilled chicken slices and grated sharp cheddar. I used a raspberry vinaigrette dressing. I was pacing myself to eat slowly so I’d finish with the others and not before. I saw Cortney’s eyes and then Marcy’s catch the sight of something behind me.
Cortney looked at Marcy with a smirk and then said, “Jamie stay relaxed, but four boys are heading our way.”
Ben, Lance, Turk, and a boy I didn’t know came up to my side of our table. Ben and Lance, I knew from school and Turk lived in town but went to a catholic school since he was ten. Jerry was the other boy’s name and he was in ninth grade as was Turk. They were going to the movies, but would rather not go alone.
The girls were not interested in seeing the movie that was their first choice. It was agreed that we’d go to the Tommy Kincaid movie. Jerry asked, “Jamie would it be okay if you were my date for the movie if I bought your ticket and paid for our refreshments?”
Being 5’ 6’’, Jerry was an inch or two under six foot. He was lean, athletic, and I guess attractive though I didn’t want to admit it. I looked at Marcy, but all she would do was smile. She paired up with Turk, Cortney with Ben, and Toni with Lance.
We purchased our tickets, but Toni suggested we walk around the mall as we had over a half hour before we should plan to be seated. I had seen Jerry before, and I was surprised that he said he remembered me from last year. That meant he either knew me as James and didn’t mind being matched up with me. Or he was lying, probably trying to be nice.
It wasn’t long as we were walking around that he asked if we could hold hands. I learned he was a good student but had attention deficit problems. He joked that was why he liked the shorter of the two hurdle races he ran in track.
Just being around the girls all day, shopping, and wondering how I was doing as a girl had me anxious. Now with Jerry, I had mixed emotions; holding the hand of an attractive boy, who was two years older than me. I hadn’t been expecting this. One time we fell behind the others because we were talking. I was surprised when he commented that a blouse I was looking at would look good on me.
Once into the movie theater with our refreshments; Jerry and I went into the row of seats first, Marcy left a space between her and me as did each pair from the group did. Marcy and I had gone to refresh our makeup as our dates got the refreshments.
The movie was good, what I could remember of it. I was a little cold when I leaned next to Jerry for warmth. He was nice enough to put an arm around my shoulders. He encouraged me to lean my head on his shoulder. As Jamie, it felt good. I could tell when he looked at me that his breath was good for a guy. It was near the end of the movie that I was ready to cry; when Jerry lifted my chin and gave me a short kiss. His lips were warm, soft, and moist. It was as I had hoped, but never thought would happen. I felt a tinge of guilt for liking being with a boy already.
It was a long fifteen minutes before Toni’s mother pick us up. Though all of us had kissed the boy we were with; it was as though we were all angels when Connie Daniels arrived.
We were at Toni’s house fifteen minutes before her mother, Connie, approached me. She smiled, “Please don’t be upset, but I think you should go upstairs and take a shower. I will get you a change of clothes.”
I was ready to cry when she stepped to hug me. She said, “I know you’re a girl who got excited. But I understood what happened because I have two boys older than Toni. Toni knows and has agreed you can stay and spend the night over with her.”
I tried to insist I should go home, but when we called my mother it was agreed I could stay there. My Mom would pick me up in the morning and we’d have a mother/daughter time then. She wasn’t surprised nor angry about what happened, but glad that I had a ‘good’ night.
After Marcy and Cortney left, Toni took a shower and dressed for bed. When we were alone she shared with me, “One of the other girls and I had our hormones get the better of us, like what happened to you, but different.” She said, “My mom thinks, it was the girl in you that responded, but you only had a boy’s body to do it with? She didn’t tell me that, but she didn’t have to. She wouldn’t let you sleep in my room if she thought you were a boy interested in me or girls.”
“Thanks, I think. I don’t like Jerry per se, but I was surprised to be kissed by a boy.”
Toni said, “Tell me the truth, that you did like being kissed by him? You’re becoming a girl and this was just another step, and it caught you by surprise.” Toni pushed me onto my back in her bed and straddled over me.
She caused me to think, “Yes, but I’d rather you get off of me and treat me as a girlfriend.”
She got off me, but remarked, “I don’t know why but I wanted to do that for a long time. Please forgive me, I’d like to be a close friend.” She began to brush out my hair for the night and then asked me to brush hers. And since my toenails weren’t painted; she took it upon herself to paint them. She painted them white with noticeable pink moon slivers.
We were talking when her mother came in to check on us. She commented that I looked nice in the teddy-bear pajamas I was wearing.
My mother picked me up in the morning and took me out to breakfast. She said, “I want you to know that what happened is not unusual for a young teen. I kind of wished you came home, but Connie told me that Toni and you have had some good girl moments.”
We were home and after I showered and as I was getting dressed; I noticed how my bra and top caused a shadow area under my breasts. I was admiring myself as my mother poked her head into my bedroom. She said, “I remember how I felt as a young girl when I noticed that.”
“Mom!” I said, “That’s embarrassing that you tell me that.”
Mom said, “I saw it as a mother/daughter moment. I’ve never thought I’d get to share something like that with you. I’m sorry.” I thought; it was mother/daughter time. My initial reaction was as a boy, but I’m not a boy any longer. I hugged my mother and we stood there in the hug.
My mother’s face changed expression, “It was a normal thing for me, but it means you’ve been doing something.” I turned silent and waited for her to move on to something else.
She said, “Neither wishful thinking nor a change in diet would do that. Now tell me, we’re not going to do anything more until you do!”
I said, “Someone, pushed a disk of pills into my locker after I announced that I was going to act as your daughter for Mother’s Day event.”
She asked me how full the disk was and then she announced there had to be more to it. I then admitted to a second and finally, then a third when we were in Philadelphia. My mother sat me down on my bed and we agreed that was the last of that until we saw the doctor again.
She admitted, “This has been a confusing time for us and that I thought we were handling quite well. I suspect it has even more emotions and ideas flying about your head. Do you have any idea about the implications this has for you?”
I said, “From what I’ve been reading the pills wouldn’t do much less I took too many and it interfered with my testosterone production. Which, my reaction to Larry indicated it hadn’t.”
My mother’s face showed she was surprised that I knew as much as I did. But she said, “Mrs. Daniels is a nurse, and when she checked your panties, she only saw signs of seminal fluid, no semen. You might be damaging your boyhood.”
I said, “So what is wrong with that?”
Mom said, “You had our permission to live as a girl for a while not to become one.”
“What do you mean, I had your permission? You and Dad won’t be revoking that?”
“Your father doesn’t know yet what you just told me. One thing has to change and that is you have to be truthful and upfront about what you’re doing in your life.”
Mom said, “Presently, I’m still planning on taking you shopping for some summer clothes. I expect Marcy to be over here after lunch to go shopping with us… Be honest with me, do I need to be worrying about you with Marcy?”
I said, “She knew I had found some pills and was taking them. She probably didn’t know I found more.”
I looked at my Mom and looked in the mirror and saw my resemblance to my mother that my cousins had mentioned. “Mom, do you think I have a small back for dancing or a waist like other girls?”
“You’re not against me being a girl, are you?”
Mom said, “I’m not against the idea; I just don’t want you rushing into it. I expect that there is a good chance that you will tire of all the work it takes to be a girl, day in and day out.”
To be Continued...
Permission Given
He volunteered to be her daughter for a Mother/Daughter Event...
He insists he's a 21st-century male who can handle it...
James’ kindness begins to snowball…
The Daughter of his Mother has permission to stay
Jamie’s tickled pink…
=^_^=
Jamie felt bad that she had displeased her Mom and Dad by taking the birth control pills. She even thought of running away as she got depressed. James had done what he did, feeling he hadn’t appreciated his Mom. And now that he does, he feels guilty about some feelings Jamie has that he had not felt before. Not that he was always good, but James usually knew in time he'd be forgiven for his mistakes. Jamie didn't, she was afraid it might lead to him being forced back to being James. Just as she had permission to be herself.
Being Jamie brought a new awareness to feelings, especially the feelings of others. She came to like her caring about others. Even the feelings Jamie felt when he danced with Kevin felt strangely good. It was like someone like him romantically. When he was with Marie, Rose’s daughter at the mother/daughter event he enjoyed that as well as that Friday night when the four of them dressed up and went to dinner and a Broadway play, Marcy and Monica and their moms. Jamie was accepted by his female cousins was the icing on top of it all.
Jamie had taken a bus and two gift cards from his grandma and his great-grandmother and went to the mall. Jamie was feeling down and wanted to see if retail therapy could lift her spirits. She had been through half a dozen stores and had already decided to try two or three more and go home disappointed.
Color My World was a boutique for teens and young women. DeeDee a salesgirl not much older than her cheerfully said, “I haven’t seen many girls shopping who looked as sad as you. What can I do to help you?”
Jamie said, “If you can’t tell, I’m not much of a girl. I came shopping to be happy, but it hasn’t happened.”
DeeDee said, “Where are your friends; they didn’t leave you alone did they?”
I looked up, “No, I came on my own. I wanted to try to find something on my own. I guess that was a bad idea.”
“Why did you say you’re not much of a girl? You are dressed very nicely and you are an attractive girl. Did I miss something obvious?”
“Yes, I’m a boy who tried to be a daughter for Mother’s Day. I did something I shouldn’t and I disappointed my mother.”
DeeDee smiled, “You’re not that boy from the next town over that I heard about, are you? I thought your mother was tickled pink.”
“She was,” I said, “She even gave me permission to continue to be a girl, but I think she’s had second thoughts about it.”
DeeDee turned to the saleswoman who seemed in charge, “Mom can I take fifteen minutes with Jamie? She could use a friend before she resumes shopping.” With her mother’s permission, we go to the food court and both get an ice cream cone.
DeeDee listened as I talked and then asked, “Is your mother really upset with you and wants you to stop, or did she care about you?”
“My Mom cares about me, but I did something dumb, and I’m afraid she won’t trust me again. I don’t know how to undo things and make things right.”
I had finished my cone and realized we had been there for over fifteen minutes. I looked at my watch and wiped my mouth. Dee said, “Sit, you need more time. I thank you for trusting me… Do you think it would be a big stretch to trust your mother more than hold your mistake against you? My relationship with my mother would be beyond repair except that most mother’s hearts are bigger than we usually think.”
I began to cry, but they were happy tears. I dabbed my eyes before I wrecked my makeup. DeeDee invited me back to the boutique to wash up and check my makeup.
When I came out from the washroom in the back, I was all repaired and looking good; Dee asked, “Is there something I could interest you in, or do you want to go looking elsewhere?”
I said, “I would like to find a nice skirt outfit for the warmer days that are coming. But I don’t have a good idea of what I’m looking for.”
DeeDee said, “How about we try to put together three different outfits and see if that gives us some direction?”
I had seen a skirt I liked but not a top to go with it, and I saw a top I liked, but it didn’t work with the skirt. DeeDee picked out a coral skirt suggesting we look for something to compliment it. It wasn’t three minutes that Dee had two possibilities for my skirt and my blouse. I found a lightweight multicolor top that would look great over a white top.
I was ready to go with that one but I was having trouble in putting the others back. DeeDee suggested I try on all three outfits before I decided.
Not only did I enjoy trying all three on, but it was now more difficult to choose between them. Dee asked how much my gift cards were for. I hadn’t remembered, but I feared twenty-five dollars each. That is as much as I had gotten before. Grandma’s turned out to be for fifty dollars. And then I remembered that Great-Grandmothers was larger but I didn’t know the amount. My first choice cost $55.00 and my second choice cost $69.00, both before sales tax.
Dee’s mother said buying the two outfits came with a 15 % discount. Needless to say, I become one happy customer. Mrs. Sylvan suggested I call someone to give me a ride.
I was afraid to call my mother, but I knew I should call her first. Mom was happy to get my call and even happier to hear I was more cheerful. It was a good ride home. That evening my mother suggested I write a favorable review for Color My World Boutique.
It was a very nice review if I do say so myself. I put it on my Facebook page and theirs and got numerous likes.
After my Mother picked me up at the mall and drove us home. She had me try on my two outfits and model them for her and my father. He said they were nice, while my mother took more time to say why she liked them on me. She commented on how they looked and the woman I would become if I so chose to do so.
“Jamie, after you went shopping,” she said, “I called the park commission and asked about their summer program for tennis. They said that they only had two openings yet for teens and young women wanting to learn and enjoy tennis. I reserved a spot for you, and if you wouldn’t be interested, I am supposed to let them know come Monday.” Mom continued, “I thought it would be a good way for you to learn graceful movement as well as to provide you with a good way to burn some calories.”
I paused to think and appreciated her giving me time and silence to consider it. We discussed that it was for recreational tennis and not for competition unless I chose to make it such. It was to be Monday evenings for June. It sounded good and I chose to accept the opportunity.
That evening I talked to Marcy and told her what I did during the day and that I also decided to do the women’s summer tennis program through the park commission. While we were talking she went on the Park Commission’s website and saw there was one more spot still open. She made an application and hoped no one else had done it.
She giggled and I joined in as it would be something new for the both of us that we could do together. We continued to talk, but I fell asleep during our conversation. She later told me that was confirmation that I wasn’t fully a girl yet. I guess her thought was a girl wouldn't fall asleep during a conversation.
I enjoyed the last two weeks of going to school as Jamie. It wasn’t all fun as there was more teasing and trouble I had with more students and a few teachers. But in that time, I’ve come to learn to focus on developing friendships with those I identify well with.
Memorial Day weekend, I talked my parents into taking me to see Mom’s grandmother. Great-Grandma asked me to call her Beth and told me about her being a young girl in England and coming at the age of ten first to Canada and then to the United States just before the Great Depression.
Because they were not citizens they did not receive some of the support given to others. Beth’s father was a steel worker; but was also a good gardener. He bartered with new friends trading vegetables and helping to restore things for other things they needed. One of Beth’s favorites was when the got some cloth with which her mother made her a dress. She had several pictures that she said I had been shown before. Now I would remember them because I appreciated her in a new way. She asked my father to take a picture of her my mother and me. He took the picture and went to Walgreens and came back with two pictures of us, one for her and one for us.
The first Monday of June, Marcy drove us to the park and tennis courts where our lessons were. Nancy Court, my mother’s age, and Cindy Meyers, twenty-something, were our instructors. Nancy made it known, we were to listen and follow their instructions with no rudeness to be put up with. My biggest surprise the first night was that DeeDee Silvan was also a participant. I introduced her to Marcy and she introduced us to Bree a friend of hers.
We jogged two laps around the tennis courts and did some stretches. She strongly recommended two nutrition supplements for women, saying our bodies would be taxed in our two-and-a-half-hour sessions. We learned how to hold a tennis racket, and suggested we have our racket by the following week. We focused the first week on our service and being able to hit the ball back over the net when it was hit over the net to us. The force of our services not how hard we hit it back was not as important the first two weeks.
DeeDee said, “I was here last year and it helped me too in becoming more graceful like a girl. I think you’ll find it helpful.” I wanted to ask if she meant that she hadn’t been a girl. Looking at her, I knew she was fully a girl.
When I got home and gave my mother a note about the nutrition supplements that I would be taking. Mom surprised me by saying we needed to get them, as well as a proper set of tennis shoes, a racket, and two tennis outfits. My mother did sit me down and told me that there was to be no misuse of my nutrition supplements. I was also informed it might bring about a greater change in my complexion and the muscle groups they would give support to.
Marcy, Dee, Bree, and I would meet on Thursday evenings to practice tennis and would usually eat together before or after our practice.
Come the second week of June, I had a job with Mrs. Walker. She ran a daycare service. I initially protested, but my mother said I needed to relate to children and be more nurturing. I commented that was her stereotyping the kind of girl I was to be. She said. “No, it is addressing an area that you are weak in.”
During June, I would work six hours five days a week. Come July, I agreed to work eight hours each day Wednesday through Friday. I learned to work with all the children, but I found seven that sought me out to help them. And as my mother would say, ‘I was hooked’ Caring was now a part of who I am. One Thursday, I was at the daycare fifteen minutes before my work ended. Another worker had to leave early and Mrs. Walker had two sets of parents who called her that they would be over thirty minutes late. That meant two more diapers needed to be changed and I needed to stay late. Dee was there and she could watch the children, but hands-on things like diaper changes and stopping Caleb from biting Mary fell to me. Little Toni grabbed for DeeDee insisting she pick her up, which Dee did. The time ended even later than the parents promised they’d be there.
Mrs. Walker thanked us. Told me I had earned some overtime, and gave each of us Dairy Queen gift cards that were usually for students. Dee was already in her tennis outfit which the girls thought was neat, Caleb kept trying to tug on her short skirt.
I used the women’s room to change into my outfit once the children were gone and put my hair into a ponytail as Dee drove us to the park. The highlight of the practice for me was when I ran to backhand a shot back over the net. I would have been finished on the next shot when Dee hit it where I wasn’t. Unfortunately for her, she slammed it down so hard and it bounced so high into the air that I was able to retrieve it and hit a solid shot down the line for a point. It didn’t decide the game, but it was a sign of what I had learned and that I was becoming a fair tennis player. Marcy even cheered and jumped up and down celebrating what I had done.
James had made some good plays in baseball, but this was a sign of Jamie’s growth. Marcy had videoed it on her phone, and I was moved to hear my voice as Jamie. I heard and saw myself as a girl.
It was the last Monday practice of June and our lesson included hitting the serve with force, a double-handed backhand hit, and rejoicing as competitors when we had a volley no matter who hit the final winning shot.
The days were at their longest, and the shadows we cast as the four of us walked off the courts were of four girls. It was not a big thing but I was proud of who I was becoming.
My family rarely used the Country Club of our community, but this year we were guests of the Evans; Marcy, her mother Evelyn, and older sister Tonya. There was golf and tennis, a cookout, fireworks, and a dance to end the evening.
Since Marcy, Tonya, and I had played some tennis; I with the others needed to use the women’s locker room and showers. Fortunately, I only had one complainer, and since I had used a gaff, the complaint was about my budding breasts, which my mother said should have been a compliment.
I didn’t realize during the cookout that Kevin from Union High School was there. He had kept himself out of my line of vision until the dance. He soon came over to our table, introduced himself to my parents, and asked me for a dance. I was both embarrassed and excited. We had one dance and then he took me for a walk. We enjoyed bringing each other up to date with what we had been doing.
Marie Giuliano had informed Kevin I was continuing as a girl. He was playing summer baseball and had a game earlier in the day and again tomorrow. He confessed to being gay and that he liked girly boys like myself. Let’s just suffice to say he pressed upon me with more than a kiss that we should be affectionate with one another. I was also sure, brushing up against me he knew my breast had formed some.
I couldn’t promise to be at his ballgame the next day, though I would try. We arranged for a date Friday or Saturday saying I’d get my parents’ approval. We were back on the dance floor hopefully before my parents
To be continued…
Jamie: Plans Ahead to School
He volunteered to be her daughter for a Mother/Daughter Event...
He's a 21st-century male who can handle it...
James’ plans begin to snowball…
Jamie has permission to stay
Jamie’s tickled pink…
=^_^=
=^_^=
My mother noticed and asked me later, “Wasn’t that the boy from the dance and Union Catholic? Where did you two get lost too?”
“Mom, we just went to talk without being overheard,” I told her.
She asked, “You must have liked dancing with him.”
Marcy’s sister Tonya said, “He’s attractive enough for a girl to appreciate dancing with him. So, Jamie did you like dancing with him?”
Marcy mentions we had met before and danced together. Tonya smiled slyly. Marcy and Tonya both danced with me during the evening. But then so did Mitch Taylor, Bob, and Kevin again. I knew Mitch Taylor though he was two years older than me. Bob was someone new, but it was one dance and we were done. My date for next Saturday would be with Marcy.
When we got home, my father had a sit-down talk with me. My father kind of laughed, “You know, when you were named after me, this wasn’t what we had in mind. You need to know that I am proud of you and love you. That being said, I’m concerned about how quickly you are moving on with your life. I want you to slow down. Tennis is good. If you’re going to be a girl, you also need to learn to do more things that women usually do.”
I smiled and collected my thoughts, “You know that girls do a lot more things today.”
My dad interrupted me, “Yes, I also remember that you were a twenty-first-century boy.” He said, “I don’t want to get bogged down with semantics. Most dads are more protective of their daughters. Most of your dates with boys in the future will be double or group dates. Do you understand and accept that?”
He said, “Your mother told me there is a summer computer class at the community college. We both agreed it would be something good for you.”
“Dad, I’m not arguing that will be good. Now I need to get ready for bed and that takes more time for me, and I’m tired.”
I did a search before I went to bed, and the computer class looks like it will be good. I was amused that my father didn’t think of the likelihood that I will have college guys checking me out.
=^_^=
Dee and I continue to play tennis together; Marcy has decided to focus on golf. Marcy and I either see each other daily, talk on the phone, or both. We’re talking more as good friends, with us interested in each other but not together as much.
I shop again at Color My World; Deedee has me try on a zillion dresses and outfits. I am just getting used to girl shopping and trying on so many clothes. I didn’t think it would go over big at home, but Dee has talked me into buying a short miniskirt. I giggled as I put on a wide belt to go with it.
Saturday starts as a threesome going to the movies, which turns to a group of six and then ten going bowling. Mitch Taylor is one of the guys and he decides to treat me to the bowling. He decided to give me a ride home. We’re at the front door when he gives me a hug and a goodnight kiss. He openly says, “It’s going to be hard waiting for you to get older. But I want you to know that I am falling for you.”
I blushed, and thanked him; I became warm, even my nipples turned hot. “Thank you, I had a good time. I hope we can do something again.”
=^_^=
‘Why was Mitch so accommodating, saying he liked me, I suppose as a girl? Yet he knows I’m not. At least I hadn’t been. What would he wait for me to change into a regular girl? Mitch is handsome enough if I were interested.’
That takes all, Kevin likes me, and now so does Mitch. I’m more interested in Marcy, maybe even DeeDee. Most of all I wanted the space to experience being a girl and to just learn from my Mom and the girls around me.
I called and talked to Cousin Monica that evening. She was happy that I thought to call her and encouraged me to do it more often. “Gee Jamie, you don’t have enough girlfriends there to talk and be taken into confidence with. You should be calling me and Laurie. You can learn a lot from her; she’d tell you about her whole birthing experience and more. There’s the rest of the cousins in the five-generation picture if you’d prefer.”
Monica and I talked for well over an hour, and I’m sure she could talk another hour but I didn’t have it in me.
I was getting ready for bed and Mom came in to check on me. “I’m glad to see you getting used to the routine. You seem to be getting along quite well; but how are you doing deep inside? Even the average girl finds things mounting up inside.”
I said, “But, I’m sure you don’t want to hear about a girly boy having trouble handling boys, let alone girls?”
“But that’s exactly what I’m talking about,” Mom said. “I think deep down Jamie’s been there a long time. If you hadn’t thought about boys; I’m sure she did. You’re probably surprised that you like them. Plus, I saw your expression when Marcy voiced interest in another boy.”
I said, “You’re getting some pleasure in my being confused, aren’t you?” Mom hugged me and we sat next to each other. I had thought I was talked out for the day, but here Mom and I get talking and it is soon after midnight.
Mom said, “I was so boy crazy that one night I dreamt that a boy penetrated me, and I could feel him inside of me. Damn, when it happened, it felt just like I remembered in the dream.”
“Mom that was too much information; could you please listen more and not talk about things so graphically?”
Mom pulled me into a hug, “Sorry, I got carried away.” Mom went to listening and she got me to say much more than I planned. It felt good and I slept much better. It was a growing number of mother/daughter moments.
=^_^=
Mom and I went to see Dr. Sharon, my mother’s GYN doctor. I am glad you brought your daughter in yesterday for blood work. While not all the results are back, we know enough to say James’ testosterone was low and is slightly lower. Jamie’s female hormones were strong for a boy and are stronger. One can see by her complexion and development that we should decide now if Jamie is to go forward or if you want to do something to stop and recapture James. If Jamie’s the one who is to be visible, we should begin to talk about this coming school year. We are at the time to make some decisions. How is her father about what is happening?”
I am quick in speaking up. “He’ll miss me; if I don’t carry on the family name, but he has Dan. Otherwise, he’s been very supportive. I think part of him, even likes having a son and a daughter.”
Dr. Sharon looks to my mother for verification. Mom nodded in agreement. Dr. Sharon Collins insisted that we formally say that we agree that I’m to continue as being a girl. There is a discussion about going to an all-girls school, my present school, or starting with a clean slate at a new school for me.
My parents and I hadn’t thought that far, but the general thought is that quite a few at my present school already know some of what I’ve been doing,
Dr. Sharon still wanted me to see Dr. Marie Jensen know if she would agree with what was being planned or if she had different thoughts and concerns.
=^_^=
That night I was talking to Marcy and DeeDee. Marcy was happy that I was planning to stay at our school; where DeeDee Sylvan suggested that I consider going to South Plainfield. I knew where a part of South Plainfield was, but not the school. I suspected it was bigger than my school but we weren’t sure how big.
Both Dee and Marcy weren’t surprised Jamie would be going to school.
I thought I had enough clothes, and that I could wear most of my present wardrobe in the fall and winter, just with heavier coats. They laughed that I was still naïve about being a girl. There were different colors, fabrics, and even pantyhose shades would be different.
My hair had turned lighter during the summer; both Marcy and Dee suggested I become a dirty blonde. Marcy said, “That you’d be more of a honey blonde, which will be one reason you’ll attract the attention of boys.
Now, I needed to talk to my mother about shopping for school clothes. Hopefully, this weekend with Marcy and DeeDee.
The next day, DeeDee and I were at Tennis practice and a boy came on to me. He was two years older and quickly I had the idea he was pushing himself upon me. When I told him I wasn’t interested; he said I should reconsider. His reasoning besides his saying he loved me; was that it would be good for my image to be going with a popular guy who was two years older.
I said, “I don’t know what your agenda might be, but I like who I am.” I called over one of the tennis instructors and Hank didn’t stick around but left saying it was my loss.
DeeDee came over to me seeing that I was upset. “Who was that guy and what did he want?” She said< I saw you were upset about something and I sent Michael and Jan over to see if you were all right.”
“Thanks, Dee, a moment longer, and I would have needed them. His name was Hank, but nobody I knew before. It felt good to stand up for myself, but I was glad others were around.” I was at that point beginning to shake, so Dee and I sat together. I knew tears were ready to come. I felt a need to be strong and stop them. But Jan offered me a fresh towel and insisted I take some needed time to collect myself. She suggested it would be appropriate to call my mother if it would help. Jan soon sat down with us. “Any girl in this day and time has the right to be uncomfortable with what happened. I think you handled yourself well. But that doesn’t mean it is easy. Do you think James would have been any better at handling things?”
I responded saying, “He wouldn’t be ready to cry?” I remembered another time as James that I was being pushed by someone two grades ahead of me. I didn’t tell either of them or anyone else at that I was terrified at that time.
Dee said, “I’m not afraid to say that sometimes I feel vulnerable to the things going on around me. I know both your mother and father said that they have an extra sense of worry about you as a girl.”
I was thankful that Dee gave up the rest of her lesson time and took me home early. We talked awhile in the car when we got to my home. I had invited Dee to come, but she stayed just long enough to talk some more with me.
I didn’t tell my parents what happened, afraid they’d make me quit tennis. I called and talked to Marcy instead. Despite it being 9:30 in the evening Marcy came right over. She even talked as she walked over to my house. She even had an overnight bag with her.
We concluded that I wasn’t used to how a girl’s life could change so quickly. She said, “Your barometer of what is important has probably emotionally changed. What you thought was small and not important before is changing. What small things are becoming more important…”?
I interrupted her, saying, “What I thought was small stuff, such as emotions and personal feelings; I now hold to be more important.”
Marcy said, “Our relationship might be changing, but we’re still best friends, I probably care more about you now.”
I wasn’t sure why, but just then, my tears started coming, and I cried loud enough that my parents came to check on us. Mom and I would talk later, but she was content that Marcy was willing to stay with me.
That night I had a dream where James was riddled with fear as he saw himself being forced to become a girl. The dream kind of ended with Jamie telling him that they were both enjoying it. When James tried to become argumentative, Jamie lifted the hem of her skirt, “Tell me you aren’t happy about our legs and how we look?” I woke up and only assumed that James agreed.
=^_^=
I spent much of my time between then and Saturday shopping, by visiting websites and looking at school clothes. I even dared to dream about homecoming.
Mom suggested and I didn’t argue about going to a salon on Friday. She heard Marcy talking about my having honey-blonde hair as part of my look as Jamie. My mother encouraged me to get a style with modest curves or curls. My hairstylist this time, Deanna encouraged me to try a style with wavy hair. I liked that my hair would have a soft look to it. I’d come to be at ease in brushing it as well. The golden highlights helped me to feel feminine. On a scale of 1 to ten, I felt I looked like a seven, an eight maybe if I dressed up…
To be continued…
Jamie 21st Century T-Girl
He volunteered to be her daughter for a Mother/Daughter Event...
He's a 21st-century male who can handle it...
James’ plans begin to snowball…
Jamie’s tickled pink to have permission to stay as she goes back to school…
=^_^=
Ms. Stafford greets me with a warm smile and a high-five as I enter school on the first day. She’s both my homeroom teacher and my English teacher. Mr. Panatela is my math teacher, but he didn’t recognize me as the student he knew. He had seen me at the end of the last school year, but between my honey-blonde hair and the comfort with which I was being myself, it was a great difference. I would have environmental studies as my science class this semester.
I was required to use the unisex restroom and locker area. Being different had become legally more difficult for me and the school. Funding for the school was being threatened. The school did take a stand that the LGBT Club would continue; and that we were to be ourselves.
Ms. Stafford encouraged me to take an independent study with her about women in literature. There were three formal complaints, but the study itself could only be construed as breaking the rules by the thoughts of those complaining and not by its coursework. The Principal and the school Superintendent did not see it as such.
With the understanding that I would be wearing a gaff; I was even allowed to take advanced swimming for my physical fitness credits.
Come to the end of the first week of school, my Father took me out to dinner. “Jamie, I am proud of you. The actions of some in society have changed my way of thinking.” He said, “One problem that I have, is I am not willing to spoil you with things to show my support. And I might be considered sexist; if having more rules because I feel protective of you being a girl.”
I said, “Dad, I hear it is quite normal for a girl to develop a strong attitude when we disagree. Don’t take it wrong: I do love and respect you but I’m just being me.”
He said, “Ultimately if you don’t change my mind and your Mother stands with me, we ultimately will have our way.” Dad and I had a stare-down until I couldn’t hold a serious face.
=^_^=
As James, I wasn’t heavy into football, but now as Jamie, I am more likely to go to football games for social reasons. I like being around other girls, it’s a time to go over the past week and check if there’s anything we want to do this weekend. More pointedly, who’s interested in whom.
I overheard a girl name Marilee talking about the new Honey-blonde at school. When I asked Marcy about Marilee, she said, “She’s a junior who’s one of the gossip queens at school. It means, you’ve been noticed and must be on some upper-class student’s radar. I suspect you’ll find out soon who it is?”
Marcy asked me, “Have you heard from Josh Hall? He’s the brother of Sue Hall and he’s been asking her to invite you to their house.”
I said, “I had a message from a Josh but I didn’t read it yet since I didn’t know who he is. I know who Sue is; I guess you can say we’re friends. We have several classes together, and she also plays tennis and more. Somehow, we’re doing the same independent study on women in literature. Ms. Stafford said it could make it more interesting.”
I checked my message from Josh and he said Sue had told him she had an independent study with me. He wrote, “I hope you can have a study session here sometime. I would like to talk to you about our dating, but we need to talk first.”
Sue Hall and I met with Ms. Stafford; Sue and I chose to read a book, Finding the Mother Tree, by Suzanne Simard. And I asked, “Sue do you know what Josh wants to say to me and, and if it is important?”
She slightly giggled not knowing he had messaged me, but she did say, “You should hear him out if you would date him.”
Ms. Stafford had copies of the first book, and we agreed to read it as well as study it. It was something unusual for a woman to be in forestry, and even more so to be recognized for her contributions. It wasn’t all popular or simply from her studies in a classroom.
Sue and I agreed to read a significant part today, tomorrow, and Sunday until we met at her house at three in the afternoon.
The book was quickly interesting, so I had no trouble reading it, though I am not a fast reader. I liked being out in the woods, but I hadn’t met many girls who did. I was like the opposite of Simard, I liked the outdoors, but I knew I only knew the stereotypes of being a girl before. Sue was both a good reader and liked being part of things.
Sunday was interesting, as I didn’t understand why a woman would have trouble finding acceptance in forestry work. Sue was quick to clue me in that it was not only in that profession. She asked me why I liked Ms. Stafford so much. She said, “Do you know some of the other teachers don’t like how outspoken she is, or her being a role model for boys?”
What Sue said was shocking to me. “Do you mean they think boys like me are under her spell? That she isn’t good for me?”
She said, “What I’m saying is, if she does something that a male teacher does; she’s considered a pushy woman, or the idea is discounted.”
I said, “That may have been true in the past, but no one really thinks that way anymore.”
I was ready to go home when Josh came into the room and asked if he might talk with me. We went to a room just off where we were, and Josh closed the door. He asked how my session with his sister went, but I knew he was just making small conversation.
“Josh, did you have something to say?” I asked. He half smiled, and I knew he was working up the courage to say what he wanted.
He said, “I would like to date you sometime, but I think you need to know…”
I joked, “I am both a girl and a boy. So are you going to warn me that you’re different?”
His eyes go wide in shock, “Did my sister tell you?”
“No,” I said, “just spit out what you were going to tell me.”
Josh gulped and then said, “You need to agree this is confidential and won’t tell anyone.”
Now I knew he was serious and I assured him. “Since you seem to be respectful of me, yes, I promise.”
He sat down and asked me to sit next to him. He said, “I like boys who are like girls. I don’t mind the guys wondering about us, but I’m not ready to say I’m gay.”
Now it was I who was shocked; Josh is a good-looking guy, even athletic. I saw no inkling that he was gay. I giggled to myself, I just fell into stereotype thinking. “I said, “Wow, I didn’t see that coming. But I guess without the clothes, makeup, and hair; I wouldn’t look like a girl.” I paused, “But you want to date me. I’d have to ask my parents, but I think it would be okay. I’m not looking for a boyfriend, and wouldn’t it kind of out you?”
Josh had a big smile, “Yes, but I won’t admit to it yet.” We talked about where we might date or be together. We talked about what we like and might do together. He didn’t talk long, I could tell he wanted to go back to his room and be his happy self.
=^_^=
Once I was home I called Marcy to hear how she was doing and to share about my day. I didn’t hear my mother knock on my door and come into my room. She listened a short time and then backed out. Marcy was happy that I had made a new friend in Sue and questioned about Josh seeing me as a possible boy-girlfriend.
After talking to Marcy, I called and spoke to Cousin Monica. She was quick to ask about my first days back to school. “Monica, I have something else though it is kind of related to school. It’s a guy named Josh who is asking me for a date. I told you about my independent study of women in literature. His sister, Sue Hall, and I are doing the study together. There’s a unique twist in that he told me he likes me as a boy being a girl. He’s cute, a good athlete and student, but my life already has enough twists.”
Monica said, “I hear a but, that you’re not wanting to say no, at least to one date?” The gist of our conversation is she cares and is supportive, however, I have to make my own decisions. Taking one day at a time and not rushing deeply into something would be good.
After supper, it was Mom who wanted to talk, so I rehashed the whole story. I never would have gone through the story so many times as James. Now, I was beginning to like sharing with family and friends the way I was doing as Jamie.
Mom said, “Your date will depend on when and where, and I suggest it be a double date. Right now, I want you to get back to getting ready for school tomorrow. Sometimes relaxing and watching a show with me would be nice.”
=^_^=
I took my baseball glove as we’d be playing softball to begin my time in physical education as a girl. It wasn’t as easy as I thought as the other girls were used to playing the game with each other. Nor did I do a good job in quickly showering and getting ready for my next class. I did see these opportunities as something I had missed before and enjoyed doing now.
Mr. Panatela was happy to get used to me being in his math classes again as I was good in math. He’d make our class act at times as though our computers were down and we had to do the math ourselves. It took more thinking, but most of us were used to him having done similar things in our prior math class with him.
Having Teresa and Molly and now Sue as close friends; school days were going faster. I was learning better and better at passing notes or whispering back and forth. Wednesday evening, I received a call from Josh and it was agreed I’d meet Sue at the football game and I’d be with Josh after the game. It was supposed to be with another couple but that was unknown for now.
Marcy and I shopped for fragrances on Thursday. Marcy reminds me, what I’m tired of hearing time and again, ‘a little goes a long way’. I have enough to learn, but I’m tired of different people repeating similar information like I became a girl yesterday.
Marcy drove me to the football game and shows me where she’’ be. Where I will be and where she’ll be is subject to changes. Fortunately, I’m more used to her voice and what she looks like than vice versa. Josh as a sophomore suits up, and rarely plays. It was the third quarter when Josh was sent in as a decoy receiver. He’s the one they pass to and he catches it and goes in for a touchdown. I’ll soon be with a football hero. I wonder if he’ll still want to be seen with me.
When the game is over and we did win. Sue waits with me to see if Josh wants me. She said, “Jamie you did yourself good as a girl cheering tonight. I enjoy being with you.” The feeling was mutual.
Josh finally comes out of the fieldhouse with several people harassing him for fun. It was a quarter ’til ten when he came out. We are to go to the school dance. I am overly happy he wants to be with me. Yes, we got a few looks, but it is hard for me to know what’s good or bad. My past dance lessons from Marcy and others, pay off.
I have my little guy hidden away; I can’t say the same for Josh. I’ve turned him on, but we are here for the dance and a little kissing and some petting, no more.
To be continued…
He volunteered to be her daughter for a Mother/Daughter Event...
He's a 21st-century male who can handle it...
James’ plans begin to snowball…
Jamie’s tickled pink to have permission to stay as she goes back to school…
=^_^=
Previously: Marcy drove me to the football game and showed me where she’d be. Where I will be, I’m more used to her voice and what she looks like than vice versa. Josh as a sophomore rarely plays. Josh was sent in as a decoy receiver. He’s the one they pass to and he catches it. I wonder if he’ll still want to be seen with me…
When the game is over and we won. Sue waits to see if Josh wants me. She said, “Jamie you did yourself good as a girl cheering tonight. I enjoy being with you…”
Josh finally comes out of the fieldhouse. We are to go to the school dance. Yes, we got a few looks, it is hard for me to know good or bad. My past dance lessons pay off…
I have my little guy hidden away; I can’t say the same for Josh. I’ve turned him on, but we are here for the dance and a little kissing and some petting, no more…
Now: Dan was awake and wanted to talk saying, “Watched you at the game some. I could distinguish you from the other girls. I guess that’s good. I thought, maybe your football hero may leave you after what he did. But he’s still attracted to you. What gives?”
I wasn’t telling about Josh to Dan, but asked, “Why were you watching? Were you going to protect your big Sis? I don’t want you watching too closely. I need to make new friends and a new life. ”
He said, “I’m not used to you attracting people, I don’t want you hurt. If it’s a new friend, I think Sue would be more important than her brother. There’s something about her that says she likes you, but I’m not sure how.”
I half giggled, “I think you’re right, should be a best friend. I’ve dated her brother, but will she still be a good friend if I stop dating her brother?”
=^_^=
Marcy called in the morning, she wanted to hear how things went with Josh. I said, “He’s nice, but I don’t feel attracted to him.”
Marcy said, “You were pretty sure he’s not your type, and now you affirmed it. Are you up to shopping for some fall clothes? Maybe you and Sue can shop together, while Janet and I look for homecoming clothes.” It gave me a reason to contact Sue so I liked the idea. Marcy and Sue were now both my best friends.
Ms. Holly Evans is our new art teacher, and she took an interest in my picture using pastels. She asked me if I could make a picture combining my pastels with other colors showing stress. It took me a while but then a picture came to mind. I used peach and yellow to paint a peach with a dark arrow shot through it. The arrow had red blood on its silver arrowhead. And around the base of the peach had a dark red puddle.
Ms. Evans was impressed. “That’s more than I was thinking, but it makes a very graphic picture.”
Then I drew a sliced peach lying on a bed of green mint leaves with the juice of the peach mingling with the leaves. She didn’t see the ant carrying one of the leaves until I pointed it out. “That is very impressive Jamie. I think creative art could be very good for you.”
I said, “I like art, but it takes me away from others, so I don’t take much time for it.”
“Then,” she says, “that is a good reason to set a block of time for it. It gives you time to yourself, to be creative, and to think about your journey in life. And then you have plenty of time to do the other things you want.” She moved away giving me room to think about it.
I said thank you on my way out of class, but I didn’t stop to explain myself.
When I got home, I showed her one of my pictures and told my mother about what Ms. Evans and I talked about. My mother hugged me and had me sit next to her. “Jamie, I am very impressed with what you did. I am amused that you thought to do a peach on mint leaves. I hadn’t noticed the ant at first. Your discussion with Ms. Evans sounded very mature of you and very insightful of her.”
Mom added, “I didn’t see artwork like that from Jamie. Is this something new, or didn’t I take the time to see it before?”
“You’ve almost always taken the time Mom. You didn’t see it because I couldn’t get it down on paper. This just came to me, and I was able to capture it. I did several pictures; I surprised myself.”
Mom said, “Being patient and following through has often been hard on you. But I’ve noticed that is not much of a problem for Jamie.”
“I’m just afraid if I think about it; I’ll screw this up. That’s why I kept doing what came easy for me.”
=^_^=
I avoided seeing Sue at first, the next day, but then we were together after lunch. I wasn’t sure if I should ask about going shopping, first, or let her know I wasn’t interested in her brother much. They kind of spilled out together in a haphazard fashion.
She giggles, “It sounds like you were afraid to trust me with both. I think that’s a boy’s way of thinking. I like my brother but we’re two different people. He can handle what you’re thinking. Me, I like the idea of doing more together, I thought that was the way things were moving.”
She changed the subject, “You know the large oak in our yard? I asked my Mom and Dad about a seedling I found growing in our yard. And they said; I could protect it so it would keep growing. Mom’s been reading my book and she likes the idea of there being a relationship between the seedling and the larger oak.”
I go over to her house early, before we’re to go shopping. I have on an old pair of designer jeans that were Marcy’s. I’d need to get home and change to go shopping. I expected we were going around ten or after.
It is a sentimental girl thing that I have to see this seedling we’re going to watch grow together. We’ve been friends for three weeks and we plan to watch it grow through high school. I take a picture of it with Sue standing next to it. Mrs. Hall takes pictures of both of us next to the tree; one with my phone. I quickly sent them off to Walgreens. The pictures will be sent to me.
Mrs. Evans looked at me strangely and I had to ask, “Do you have questions about me with Sue?”
She smiled and said, “I was just thinking with Josh being himself, I wondered about the odds of Sue and you coming together. I wasn’t very sure of her having a study mate like you in an independent study. But you’re good for her. And now I’m impressed with you as a young woman.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
Moments later Marcy gives me a call on my phone, she says, “Janet and I are outside the Hall’s house. I was wondering if you two are ready to go shopping?” The other possibility was they’d go now and pick us up after their first round of shopping.
I wasn’t ready, but I’d go as I am. They’d need to come in and give Sue time to change. They came in to wait, and Sue went upstairs to get ready. Mrs. Hall took me in tow and said, “You can’t go as you are. Let’s go upstairs and see what we can lend you from Sue’s wardrobe?”
I hadn’t agreed to it but Mrs. Hall was on her way upstairs, until she realized I had not followed her yet. “It’s okay Jamie, other girls do this now and then in emergencies. Shopping qualifies as an emergency with your sister and her friend already here and waiting.” She put out her hand and I stepped forward and put my hand in hers.
Mrs. Hall knocked on Sue’s door, and we were invited in. Sue had anticipated her mother and had a blue skirt and a pink blouse with white kittens on the front. Mrs. Hall asked, “Do you mind if we use these pushups in your bra? It won’t add much, but it will help you look your age.”
Sue spoke up, “Don’t make a fuss, it’s a good idea.”
I turned away from Sue and her mother as I get down to my jeans and my bra. I’m given the wedges for each bra cup and I like how they help my look.
Ms. Hall encourages me to take off my jeans and put on a pair of pantyhose. I paused long enough that Sue reminded me to scrunch up the legs of the stocking portion to help my feet and toes to go in properly. I knew by the sounds of Sue and her mother that I was doing well. The feel of smooth feelings going up my legs pleased me. I soon was stepping into the skirt and then put on the blouse. I used a little makeup and Sue styled my hair just a little differently. I could hardly recognize myself.
I saw Marcy as we were going down to the main floor. I could tell Marcy was pleasantly surprised by how I looked.
Mrs. Hall was going to give me extra money, but I told her I had a debit card with a good amount in the account.
Our first stop was at a specialty store with a large inventory of nice dresses and outfits geared for special events. Sue and I were window shopping while Marcy and Janet had started their search in earnest. There was a light golden sweater I wanted to buy, but Marcy and Janet both encouraged me to wait and not buy it there.
Soon we were going through the regular women’s stores; there were more sweaters and blouses that I was falling in love with. Then there was a red and black plaid with a yellow strip. It was styled and sold as a Scottish kilt for women. There were white and emerald green blouses to coordinate with the skirt. And Audrey said, “I like that green on you; you should look for something else in that color.”
Sue said, “I didn’t notice it before but you have hazel green eyes. Has Delbert ever taken a liken to you? Personally, now that I’ve noticed your eyes; you may need to watch out that I don’t whisk you up in my arms.”
Before we headed home from shopping; Marcy took me aside. She asked, “Did you know you have feelings for Sue?”
I hurried and denied that I did, but Marcy said, “Relax, I’m not worried if you do. Most of us develop feelings for other girls. They come and go and don’t usually last. I was just saying it because we’re best friends.”
That evening I asked to have a Mother/Daughter talk. After dinner, my mother told my father and brother that they had to clean up from supper. “We’re going out for a walk at Jasper Park.”
Dad said it was different, and Mom agreed. “I have time to make up for.”
Jasper is a county park some five miles away. She and her sister had often gone there. We walked a good distance in the park until we came to a bench where Mom asked us to sit. “Now what are you wanting to talk about?”
“Mom, Marcy said that I have feelings for Sue and that they’re not just regular friendship feelings. I told her no, but I don’t think she believed me. She even mentioned that many girls do. I know I’m growing up in a different time. What do you think?”
Mom seemed amused, “The times might be different, and I know I’m old to you. How many girls or women have feeling for one another I am not sure. It isn’t uncommon or limited just to those who identify as lovers.”
She let me think about that. Then she asked, “I’m guessing it came up when you were shopping. Did something happen that might have brought the possibility to Marcy’s mind?”
“Well, when I tried on the green blouse, Sue noticed I have hazel green eyes. And first Sue asked if Delbert Jones had taken an inkling to me that he liked girls with hazel green eyes. Then Sue indicated I needed to watch out for her as well that she might want to whisk me away for herself.”
“I might have blushed, because after that and before we left the stores; Marcy and I talked alone. I denied that I had feelings like that for Sue. It did feel a little nice hearing Sue say that.”
“Thanks for trusting me to say that. I know it happened to me two times, but nothing came of it. A high school friend and I did go to several places together and even kissed twice. But as you can see it was your father who I fell in love with.”
There was some silence, before Mom said, “It isn’t unusual for girlfriends to explore their sexuality together or even in a group of close friends. Most close friends a very confident in trusting each other.”
I asked, “Did you have permission from your mother?”
Mom held back a giggle, and then said, “No, and I never told her though I think she eventually knew.” She lightly touched my hand, “If it would ever happen and you’d like to talk about it to me, you can. It would be something that would be between you and me, not your father.”
When we got home, Dan said I had a call from Sue. She thought you must have had your phone turned off.
I was nervous about calling Sue back. She had called but did not leave any message…
Story to be Continued…
He volunteered to be her daughter for a Mother/Daughter Event...
He's a 21st-century male who can handle it...
James’ plans begin to snowball…
Jamie’s tickled pink to have permission to stay a girl…
James begins fading away…
=^_^=
I was too nervous to call Sue back. I messaged her that I had a good time shopping. Then I told her that my mother and I had a good mother/daughter talk. No, I didn’t tell her about our discussion. She did ask about my conversation with Marcy and we agreed our conversations with close friends were for ourselves.
She said she would wait until tomorrow to talk to me in person and asked if she could come over to my house and get a ride home later.
The next school day greeted me with the news that the school office wanted me right away, and I was worried about what I did to be requested. Principal Brown greeted me to come into her office. Once there she held a letter from the South Plainfield Middle School, she said, “They are inviting our participation in their Octoberfest on October 24. It includes an invitation for our girls to play in a tennis tournament. It named you as one of our possible conte3stants. What do you know about this?”
I smiled, but said, “I didn’t know anything about the invitation, but I suspect DeeDee Sylvan was the one who mentioned me to their staff.” I informed Principal Brown that I had taken tennis lessons this past summer and had been playing some.
I thought to myself, ‘I’ve forgotten DeeDee; we should have gone to Color My World for school clothes. I should have called DeeDee and been a good friend.”
Mrs. Brown said, “They must have known of your identity issues as they mentioned since it is a friendly tournament the Girls’ Athletic Association rules need not be applied.” The Principal looked up at me and asked, “Do you want to play and are you any good?”
“If I’m having a good day,” I said, “I can beat DeeDee and she had played before. I do better playing doubles. I am not particularly strong as one might expect a boy to be.”
The School Superintendent had entered the office from behind me and spoke up, “We’re not set on winning as much as we don’t want to be an embarrassment. We are happy to know you have some ability. Do you know Cyndi Powell and Abbey Ward?”
I said, “We are in the same grade and they have been more active in sports than I have been, but we haven’t been in the same circles of friends.”
Superintendent Briggs said, “Please keep this to yourself, as our attending the event has not been confirmed yet. There will be educational implications for all participating.”
Principal Brown said to me, “I’ve asked your history teacher to teach what it would have been like for our early settlers. And I would like you to find out about Constance Hopkins, a girl who was an original member of the Plymouth Rock community.”
Here it was the 20th, of September and I was being singled out for something in school, ‘I was hoping this would affirm my being accepted as Jamie. I didn’t know who Constance Hopkins was, but one can google about anything.’
The next thing I knew at lunch Cyndi Powell asked me to sit with her for lunch. Cyndi said, “I hear you play tennis; maybe we can ask to play tennis instead of what the rest of the class is doing. Would you be up to that?”
“How good are you; I’m not sure I play as well as you?”
Cyndi says, “It would just be a casual game to see how well we can play. We’d be using the school’s rackets and old tennis balls. You can’t play an ‘A’ game with that.”
I commented on Cyndi’s hair and then she mentioned Rick Wise and what she liked about him. I was comfortable that our time together ended with regular girl talk.
Sue and I met with Ms. Stafford about our independent study, and that we were not reading our Jane Austin books. Ms. Stafford mentioned that she thought we might become good friends. Ms. Stafford withdrew, allowing us time to meet together.
Sue said, “I didn’t want to scare you, by my saying I might whisk you away myself. I’m just wanting to be friends now and forever. You do have beautiful hazel eyes. I wouldn’t want to come between you and Marcy. I never knew if you were just best friends or girl and boyfriends.”
She said, “I know it is none of my business, but do you like girls or boys better?”
I said, “You’re right, it’s my business. Between you and me, I think it will be a while before I’m better settled into being me, and knowing how I’m wired that way.”
“My hormone mixture is still settling out. I like being a girl and discovering all that it takes in. I kind of think I’m a bit like Jane Austin it is easier to explore than it is in living it out.”
=^-^=
It was time for gym and Cyndi was waiting for me with a big smile. My gym shoes were not my tennis shoes, and I’d rather be wearing one of my tennis outfits. The tennis balls and rackets weren’t great either, but that was true for Cyndi as well.
We played, loosening up for ten minutes, and then started to play more intentionally. Cyndi had started playing seriously when she was ten. It was fun playing with someone who had more skills and abilities. It was giving me a chance to learn by playing.
Cyndi complimented me on how graceful I was already becoming. She said, “It’s funny that you are switching your hormones just when many guys' growth hormones kick in. But then again being 5’6” even 5’9” would be nicer fashion-wise for a girl.”
‘Is she correct, that I might miss out on a growing spurt? As James, I wanted to grow to be six foot tall.’
=^-^=
I got home and had two calls and a conversation I wanted with my mother. First, I called DeeDee. She laughed as I said, “Hello, this is Jamie.”
She asked, “Is this because I mentioned you play tennis, or did you finally remember me?” She mentioned that she had been playing more tennis. “I was disappointed that you didn’t come to Color My World for back-to-school clothes.”
I asked, “Do you have some left that I’d look good in?” We talked and it was good to be back as friends. She was enjoying her new year at school and told me more of their plans for their Octoberfest. We ended the call with me saying I and Marcy would go to their store shopping on Saturday.
Marcy was the one to dominate the first part of our conversation. She said, “There’s this guy, Marty, and we’re likely to go to the next school dance together. I was wondering if you had your eye on anyone that you might go to a dance with?”
I said, “It is more likely Sue and I would come. She’s even shier than I am when it comes to meeting people. We were hoping Cortney and Toni might attend things like that with us. Toni says her big sister goes to high school activities as a group.”
I’ve begun to be with Marcy to learn how girls do things. Marty is the second boyfriend and Marcy’s cool about it. She even asks about what I experience around boys. She said even when you date a boy like Josh, I should be learning things about myself. She said, “You are going to like boys and eventually when your guard is down, you’re going to like him a lot! That’s when I want to know what you experience. Remember we’ve been best friends and we tell everything.”
Mom came to my room tonight, asking what was going on. She said I was acting differently. When I mentioned Marcy talking about a school dance; Mom asked if I was planning to go to high school dances. She said I needed their permission, and she’d need to know who I was going with. I was surprised when Mom asked if there were boys in Marcy’s grade that I was interested in. We talked about me being open and not hiding from boys that I’m transgender.
“Mom, I sometimes feel like I’m wearing a Scarlet Letter like there’s something bad about me. People say ‘No’, but that’s how I feel sometimes. Mom hugged me.
When I mentioned going shopping and having talked to DeeDee, Mom smiled. “I hadn’t heard you talking about her, I wonder if that friendship soured or what happened?”
Mother agreed that I had more school shopping and fall clothes needed for my wardrobe. I was given a budget of $200 to stay within, but I needed to call before I spent more than $120.
I called Sue to confirm I could go shopping on Saturday. And Sue informed me that there was a school dance at the high school the following Saturday. I mentioned the possibility of Cortney or Toni going with us, and Sue mentioned Layla Jones. We agreed two more would be ideal. Each of us would ask one person at a time. Sue said that she had another idea for a boy to dance with me, but wouldn’t tell me who.
She did suggest that if we went to Color My World; I should ask DeeDee to help me buy some good makeup.
=^-^=
I had talked to DeeDee again the next day, and Dee said that her mother had given her permission for time away from the store. She loved the idea of helping me to buy makeup and a kit. I had what a boy thought was more than enough, but it had limited what I could do.
Sue had talked me into running before school three times a week. Her incentive was that I get in shape for the junior high tennis competition. Running at 6:00 would never have happened with James, but my vanity was part of my inspiration.
My legs weren’t terrible, but more needs to be said for a girl’s legs. How my world has changed? I’m spending an hour more a night studying, and now getting up earlier to run. That doesn’t include that I now have a social life and talk to several girls every night
Sue and I went to the home football game on Friday night. I watched Josh play some, but it was Marcy’s boyfriend Marty and his friend Ryan that got the extra time after visiting on the sidelines. Marty and Ryan are both juniors in high school. Dating a junior would not go well with my parents, but I wouldn’t need to get permission if we met at the dance and I was invited to dance with Ryan.
I met Ryan in passing after the game and before I went home. I was sure nothing would come of it, but he did invade my dreams. ‘Could a real boy find me attractive as a girl?’ I heard Sue saying. ‘Yes, but I shouldn’t set my sights so high.’ She reminded me that he was a junior, a football player, and must have girlfriends.’
Saturday’s shopping was great; Mom took us to the mall at 9:30. She’d give us a ride home after we called in the afternoon. I gave DeeDee a big hug as soon as I saw her. She smiled, “Did you feel guilty for having forgotten me?”
I did and I apologized, I’m sorry but the closer I got to going back to school, I got caught up in all the activity. I also want to introduce you to Sue. She’s my partner in an independent study of women writers. We’ve become quick friends.”
DeeDee and Sue said hello and quickly share information about themselves. Sue asked, “Do you really own this store or do you just work here?”
Dee called over to her Mom, “Mom, Sue here wants to know if I own the store or just work here?”
Mrs. Sylvan, “Tell her that you don’t work here, but come to talk to others like her… You should ask them what they’d be interested in looking at.”
Sue said, “If I’m going to be Jamie’s friend, my mother said I needed to find another skirt or two.” DeeDee walked us to the skirts and dresses as she asked Sue about colors, sizes, and styles.
I was quickly interested in a jeans mini skirt. Dee quickly handed me two tops to try on with the skirt I was taking to the changing room. Dee asked how much weight I lost since early August.
Sue mentioned that I was also up early running three mornings a week.
Dee complimented me that my legs and tush both looked nice. Then she asked if a boy was in the picture.
I was soon in a changing room but also trying to hear Dee and Sue talking. I couldn’t hear enough to understand anything. I thought Sue mentioned Ryan’s name. Sue went into a changing room as I was reading to go out and find what they thought of the outfit I had on.
Dee commented as the day went on that I was becoming a regular girl.
Come noon, Renee Sylvan told her daughter, “Marge is here for the rest of the day; you have my permission to go have some lunch and then shop with your friends. Talk to Jamie and make sure she’s doing her research on Constance Hopkins.”
We didn’t eat much, but we talked and went around the mall. Dee took me to Ulta Beauty and asked a saleswoman to help me to choose the right makeup for me. She said, “We often do that as part of a salon appointment.”
When I told her I had permission to spend one hundred and fifty dollars on makeup, but that my friends are to make sure it is good for me. She introduced herself, “I’m Jenn. We’ll have some complimentary gifts as well as set you up with the makeup and skincare products that you might be missing. I could tell Dee was impressed as Jenn took thirty minutes before trying to sell me anything. I was getting Philosophy’s Amazing Grace set of perfumes.
When she kept trying to sell me the small inexpensive makeup kits, I protested that I didn’t want to be treated as a little girl. Jenn was more than happy to oblige me. From Clinique to Petite and Pretty she took to show me how to put together mix-and-match sets that she said and DeeDee agreed were good for me. I was under the money I could have spent but I was more than happy with what I got. I bought a nice makeup kit for home and Ulta was giving me two free makeup bags, and a good amount of other samples, urging me to come back and buy more of the samples that I liked.
We were about ready to go into Senora’s when Sue spotted Marcy and her boyfriend. After we said hello, I realized that Ryan was with them. Sue asked who had come with Ryan expecting some girl to be with them.
Marcy said, “I knew you were coming shopping and Ryan was wanting to meet the girl I introduced him to after the fame… Ryan this is Jamie, she’s in eighth grade as I told you. These two are DeeDee Sylvan who you met her mother earlier. She goes to South Plainfield. And Sue Hall is in Jamie’s grade and is Josh’s little sister.”
Ryan said, “Hi! I don’t want to disturb you and your friends, but I was hoping you might be going to the dance this coming week…”
Story to be Continued…
He volunteered to be her daughter for a Mother/Daughter Event...
He's a 21st-century male who can handle it...
James’ plans begin to snowball…
Jamie’s tickled pink to have permission to stay a girl…
James begins fading away…
=^_^=
Jamie thought Ryan was talking to Sue or DeeDee, but everyone else knew he was talking to her. “Your name is Jamie, isn’t it? Please, don’t be shy or hard to talk to; I have my problem with girls.”
Jamie’s eyes widened as it was sure, he was talking to her, “I, I, I’m sorry yes I’m planning to go to the dance, but I can’t date older boys like you.”
He says, “That’s alright, but I hope to dance with you a few times. Hopefully, you’ll like me and we can get to know each other. If we meet a couple of times, and you like me; maybe your parents will learn you’re safe with me.” He paused, “Are you open to that?”
“That would be nice.” Jamie blushes and Sue says, “He doesn’t bite; you could walk with him while we check another store.” DeeDee gave Jamie a slight push from behind, and Ryan put out his hand and Jamie stepped to him and took his hand. They headed for a water pond, where Ryan said, “I’m happy to be with you even for a short time… It was nice to meet you after the game, I’d like to know you more.
Marty was with Marcy, and Ryan’s good friend he asked, “Marcy if you called Jamie’s mother would she possibly allow Jamie to stay shopping with us?”
Marcy said, “Not likely, I suspect Carol Evans is responsible for driving two if not all three home. Maybe another time.”
Ryan asked, “Jamie, what do you like to do?”
She started to say, “You probably don’t know, but…” Then she stopped and started again. “I learned to play tennis this summer, I like to read, and as you see I like shopping. How about you?” She wanted to say she had been a boy, not to mislead him, but she stopped.
Ryan said, “I like to read as well, I’m good in science and math, and as you know I play football. I help my mom around the house, as I have two older brothers who get most of my dad’s time. I don’t mean that I’m a mommy’s boy. It’s just being the last I got the last of the chores.” Ryan hoped he didn’t embarrass himself, but he found it easy to talk to Jamie.
Jamie’s phone rang and she got a message; it was from her mother. She was coming to pick them up. She was sorry that she was late.
Jamie looked up, “We better walk back, my mother is giving my friends and me a ride.”
Ryan hugged Jamie, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to give you a hug yet.” Embarrassed he blushed as they walked back to the group. Ryan stepped over to Marcy and Marty. Sue and DeeDee went to Jamie; teasing her a little.
Jamie told her girlfriends her mother was coming and then she turned to Ryan. “There better be some boys they can dance with.”
Marty chuckled, “We’ll see what we can do, but I expect there will be other boys there.”
=^_^=
Marcy, Jamie, and the other girls hugged goodbye, Jamie and her friends walked toward the doors they’d meet her mother. When the ride started rather quietly. Carol Evans asked, “What happened that has the three of you quiet?”
No one spoke, then Jamie said, “You should see what we bought. If we go home we can show you what we bought.”
“Tell me all about it before we get there.”
Jamie’s mind was going blank. Sue said, “I bought a pink jeans skirt and a dress; my mom suggested I do it since your daughter wears mostly skirts.” Carol giggled. DeeDee said, “I dropped off my purchases with my Mom. She said she’d pick me up at your house or just leave me at the mall.” Everyone giggled.
Jamie said, “Mom, they forced me to try on a mini jeans skirt. Then they talked me into buying it after we shopped around. DeeDee and the woman at Sephora helped me to find makeup that was correct for me. I was encouraged to buy some makeup as you suggested; I also bought a nice makeup kit, a smaller one for my purse and you wouldn’t believe it I got a lot of makeup samples free.”
Mom acted surprised, but DeeDee was sure she expected me to buy more. Mom took suggestions and ordered pizza just before we got home.
We found out once home that Dan and Dad were planning to order pizza, Dan was upset he hadn’t got to choose what we ordered. When Dad saw all the makeup that I bought he said it had to cost over $100. Dan got even more upset, “This girl stuff has got out of control.”
Happily, Jamie said, “I bought less than Mom said I could. If you want Dan, you can join us girls and we’ll paint your nails or makeup your face.” Her parents quickly told her to stop teasing her brother.
Since it was Saturday, Mrs. Evans suggested the girls could call their mothers if they wanted to and ask to sleep over. She even suggested that James had two oversized sports shirts they could use for sleeping. DeeDee called her mother, and her mother would stop by with some clothes after she closed up at work.
Sue said her family had plans so she couldn’t. Sue could stay for pizza and to show off what they had purchased. Needless to say, Dan and Dad were in for the pizza but were to be out when the fashion show began.
DeeDee blew in Dan’s ear and then kissed him on the cheek; she whispered, “I hoped you were staying; I had gotten a gift for you.”
Dan quickly turned and said, “Please, please!”
She asked, “Are you sure you want it?” And he quickly agreed that he did. She asked another question, “But will you stay and celebrate with us?”
Dan liked DeeDee and thought she was very attractive. He had seen her once in her tennis outfit and had dreamt about her. He was aggressive in saying, “Whatever it takes.” He closed the door and let his father leave alone.
His mother saw him and asked, “I thought you were leaving and wanted nothing of this fashion show.”
He enthusiastically said, “Dee has a gift for me, so I decided to stay and participate.”
Dee and Jamie and gone to Jamie’s room to change into their first outfit. Jamie wore her jeans skirt that wasn’t as small as some, and what her mother thought was in good taste. Dee had put on a knit dress she found and while it was not very provocative, it was in Dan’s eyes. The girls took two more turns in trying on their clothes. And Dee’s mom had arrived for the last round. Dee had bought a white crocheted dress worn over a red satin top that was only a little shorter than her dress. It was to be for a special dinner out.
Once the two girls had finished Carol invited everyone for a dessert, but Dee said they weren’t done. She had Dan sit as Jamie and she gave Dan a gift. She whispered in his ear to take the gift upstairs and to decide if he wanted the gifts. There was a gray and pink pair of shorts and a bright shiny pink and blue top. When he got to his room he found a wrapped gift inside workout shorts along with a note from Sue, Dee, and his sister. You don’t need to wear these gifts, but we want you to know you are appreciated. Hugs, Sis, Sue, and Dee.”
It was only seven minutes when Dan came down wearing the outfit, and a big smile that pleased his mother. Only Dan, Dee, and his sister knew the wrapped gift was a pink pair of no-line panties.
Everyone there cheered which brought in John Evans to see what the noise was about. “Oh, no! I hope this is a joke.”
After Renee Sylvan went home and John and Carol to bed; Jamie and Dee stayed up painting each other’s fingers and toenails. Come morning, Jamie and Dee had decided to wear an outfit the day before and open-toe shoes.
Dan came down dressed for church with his left pinky nail painted pink. His toes were also painted pink but they would not be showing when he went to church. The Evans and Sylvans met after the worship service for dinner.
The Church members we happy to meet DeeDee and even happier to see Dan and Jamie being warm to each other. After the service and out in front of the church, several girls remarked to DeeDee that they were getting used to James as Jamie. “Have you helped her in selecting better clothes and makeup?”
Dee looked over to Jamie wondering if Jamie wanted to answer for herself. Jamie volunteered, “Yes, Dee, Sue Hall, and my closest friend Marcy help me. This is one outfit we bought yesterday along with some makeup.”
Gwen asked, “Did DeeDee help you in getting dressed or with your makeup?”
Dee cut back in, “No, she’s pretty good with her makeup and she’s no little girl heeding help in getting dressed… Do you agree with me that Jamie has pretty legs for a girl?”
Gwen said, “We haven’t looked that much?”
Dee giggles, “You should say something like that in front of the church?”
Shirley says, “We want to ask if Jamie’s interested in coming to the girls’ Bible study?”
Soon they all had to leave, Dee and Jamie, Dan, and Parents all to meet for dinner.
Sunday afternoon Jamie and her mother had another mother/daughter talk. The subject of going to Sunday school and Jamie getting active in more girl activities at school.
Jamie asked if it would be all right to play tennis, shoot baskets, and do other things like James.
Mom took it as a hopeful sign that his interest in Jamie might be waning. Jamie calmly said, “No, I just want to keep that side of me alive. It wasn’t nice that as Jamie this side of me was invisible.”
Mom said, “I thought this part of you came to life to be there for me on Mother’s Day?”
“I thought so too,” said Jamie, “but the more I was myself, I have recalled dreams and thinking as Jamie. Jamie was my invisible friend that you said I needed to outgrow. Dad got very angry at me, and you agreed with him. That became clear when you learned my invisible friend was a girl.”
That time became visible in Carol’s memory, and she hugged Jamie. She asked, “Was Jamie afraid when you mentioned being there for Mother’s Day?”
“I guess I hadn’t thought about it; it just came out. It even surprised me, but I liked the idea. I was surprised by how strong I was about it. I can’t remember now who called me Jamie.”
His Mother said, “You were, you said it when I was first talking about Mother’s Day with my Sister.” Mom quoted me mentioning it to Aunt Beth.
Mother asked, “What made you think about yourself as James?”
“I have appointments soon with Dr. Sharon and Dr. Marie Jensen, the Endocrinologist,” I said. “I’ve been wondering: I want to look more like a normal girl, but can I keep my male parts working?”
Mom answered with a question, “I’m sure you’ve kind of researched it; what have you found out?”
I look down, “The more I’m on the estrogen and progesterone; there’s a bad chance it will shut down much of my testosterone.”
Mom hugged me, “It wouldn’t change the fact you couldn’t become pregnant, but it would likely stop your chances of being a father, except by having some of your sperm harvested and frozen.”
“It sounds like it is all against what I want.”
“You have us and others who are supporting you to be you. You have the love of a lot of people. Ten years ago we wouldn’t have even asked these questions.”
“Ten years ago doesn't change; how I’m feeling right now!”
Jamie's Life goes on.
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