The Redemption of Jamie Sarah Potter
-1-
Confession
I took a deep breath as I knelt down in front of the altar of St. Mary's Episcopal Church. Mass was due to start in thirty minutes. And Fr. Bell was now hearing confessions. Now, normally I don't go to confession, I find it silly, a waste of time, and sometimes down right degrading. Like why am I going to wreck my brain looking for a 'sin' to confess to a forty something year old man hiding behind a wooden screen? But there was something on my mind.
See I'm a prefect at my school. And as a prefect I'm supposed to do things to take pressure off the staff. Simple stuff, like check the hallways for roaming students, check the bathrooms, help new students find their way around school, check hall passes and normal stuff like that. But two days ago I'd been forced to give a caning. A caning to somebody who had taken to defending a girl I consider my sister.
His name had been James Donald Bell, though I had always known him as Daisy. Daisy was my cousin, and he and I had shared the same first name before I became 'Jamie' and I expected him to be like me. That to say transgender though he might have been struggling to come to terms with it. I'd been forced to cane him, because otherwise I would have been forced to give up my position as a prefect and would lose my spot on the cheerleading squad.
And that was a big deal for me, because before I became 'Jamie' I'd been a loner, I'd been an outsider, I'd never been popular. And since becoming 'Jamie' I'd not only gained a loving boyfriend, a group of loyal friends, but I'd also sky rocket up the social ladder at school. I was now one of the 'Cool Kids' that to say people wanted to around me.
So I'd guarded my social position and in the end. That had cost me, sure the Head had patted me on the shoulder and said I had something good, that I had upheld the rules, that she was proud of me. But then again I had reduced a frail boy to a crying mess. I'd beaten him within a inch of his life. The same had been done to me only a year or so ago. And in short I could not live with myself.
I'd thought becoming a prefect would have helped me defend the weak, the outcast and become something of a role-model for the other students. But when I'd been put to the test, instead of breaking up fight myself I'd gone to get help. And while I'd gone to fetch the teacher. Daisy had decided the best course of action was to step into the fray himself. For his effort he had been given one hell of a beat down and was sentenced to be canned.
And it had fallen to me to carry out that canning.
“Jamie.” A voice called and there in the doorway of the wooden Confessional. St. Mary's Episcopal Church was an 'Anglo-Catholic' church. Meaning it more toward the Roman Catholic side of things than most Episcopal Churches in the south. For example,
Instead of there being a plain cross hanging above the altar, there was a crucifix, we called our services 'Mass' instead of just normal service. True the namesake of the parish, the Rosary was often prayed during the month of May and October. Often before a small icon of Mary. And most stunning of all we had an old fashioned wooden Confessional tucked into a used corner of the church. And one last detail, our Masses were often chanted and sung. At this point I think we were more Catholic than the Catholics across the street.
“I have time for one more before I must get ready for Mass.” Fr. Bell said as he peered toward me. “Are you ready to make your confession?” He asked as he peered toward me.
I nodded my head and as I lifted myself from the kneeler I made the sign of the cross in front of me and muttered a prayer. Funny, I'd been a member of this church for all sixteen years of my life, going on seventeen. It was just starting to dawn on me.
Generations of Potters had worshiped in this church, had gotten married in this church. Had been baptized in this church, had been confirmed in this church. And many of them were now buried in the small plot that was located behind the church. The church was also rumored to be haunted, having been used as a make-shift field hospital by the Confederate Army during the 'Battle of Benton' and later during 'The Battle of Benton Road.'.
All of these thoughts swirled through my mind as I stepped into the confessional booth and knelt down and took a deep breath. After a few seconds of silence, breathing space for me to collect my thoughts and pull myself together I started to recite the form that was found in the Book of Common Prayer. The prayer book used by Anglicans across the world.
“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your loving kindness; in your great compassion blot out my offenses. Wash me through and through from my wickedness and cleanse me from my sins. For I know my transgressions only too well and my sin is ever before me. Holy God, Holy and Mighty, Holy Immortal One, have mercy upon me. Pray for me, a sinner.”
Fr. Bell then paused and took a deep breath and in a gentle, kind, loving yet very pastoral tone of voice said through the screen.
“May God in his love enlighten your heart, that you may remember in truth all of your sins and his unfailing mercy.”
“Amen.” I said, taking a deep breath.
“Here the word of God to all who truly go to him. 'Come to me, all ye that travail and are heavy laden, and I will refresh you.' and 'God so loved the world, that he gave his only-begotten Son, to the end that all that believe in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.' and finally 'This is a true saying, and worthy of all men to be received, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners.' and finally 'If any man sin, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous; and he is the perfect offering for our sons, and not only ours, but for the sins of the whole word.”
Fr. Bell paused and then continued.
“Now, in the presence of Christ, and of me, his minister, confess your sins with a humble and obedient heart to Almighty God, our Creature and our Redeemer.”
I took a deep breath. It was now time for me to face the music. And so gathering my courage I decided to push ahead. I'd come this far. There was no sense in turning back now. This after all was the first step down the long, winding road I must take in order for me to look myself in the mirror again. It still troubled me that I had become so much of a weak, submissive girl. Potter women were known for being stern, and powerful and the bitter pill I'd been forced to swallow was the simple fact that that woman had cowered me into doing her will. And I had allowed myself to be cowered. And I hated myself for it. But in order to make things right, I first had to make things right with the fellow upstairs. Yes, put God's books in order before setting about putting my own affairs in order.
“Holy God, heavenly Father, you formed me from the dust in your image and likeness, and redeemed me from sin and death by the cross of your Son Jesus Christ. Through the water of baptism you have clothed me with the shining garment of his righteousness, and established me among your children in your kingdom. But I have squandered the inheritance of your saints, and have wandered far in a land that is waste. Especially, I confess to you and to the Church...”
I closed my eyes and sighed.
“A few days ago I was called to cane a young man named James Donald Bell, I believed James did not deserve the punishment. Against my better judgment I carried out the sentence. I was however given a choice. I could have refused and as a result lost everything I've worked so hard to gain, my position as a prefect, my position as co-captain of the cheerleaders, and my place on the squad. But I was afraid too, I'm afraid I cherished those more than doing what my heart and soul were telling me to do. I know I should have refused to carry out the sentence, but I was afraid to refuse. If given the chance to do it all over again I'll refuse.”
The priest cleared his throat and nodded his head.
“Therefore, O lord, from these and all other sins I cannot now remember, I turn to you in sorrow and repentance. Receive me again into the arms of your mercy, and restore me to the blessed company of your faithful people; through him in whom you have redeemed the world, your Son our Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.”
“Jamie, you are caught between a hard place and the sea. I would advise you to use the talents God has given you to make amends in the best way you see fit. I will not tell you what to do. But I will say this, you must depend upon the Holy Spirit to guide you in this matter. Go forth from this place, trusting in God, the Church and resting upon the wisdom and guidance of the Holy Spirit. Your patron saint is Joan of Arc who held firm to believes in the face of death. Reflect upon her life and death.”
Fr. Bell then took a deep breath and said.
“Will you again return to Christ as your Lord?”
“I will”
“Do you then forgive those who have sinned against you?”
“I forgive them.”
“May almighty God in mercy receive your confession of sorrow and of faith, strength you in all goodness, and by the power of the Holy Spirit keep you in eternal life. Amen.”
“Our Lord Jesus Christ, who has left power to his Church to absolve all sinners who truly repent and believe in him, of his great mercy forgive you all of your offense; and by his authority committed to me, I absolve you from all your sins: In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.”
Fr. Bell took a deep breath.
“Now there is rejoicing in heave; for you were lost, and are found; you were dead, and now alive in Christ Jesus our Lord. Abide in Peace. The Lord has put away all your sins.”
I closed my eyes and once more shed a small tear.
“Thanks be to God.”
And that is how this episode comes to an end.
The Redemption of Jamie Sarah Potter
-2-
Returning the Prefect Badge
The proudest moment of my life was when the new Headmistress pinned the round, silver Prefect badge to the front of my school shirt and the start of the year school assembly. A few days later I was named co-captain of the varsity cheerleading squad. I had gone from being a lonely outcast to one of the most popular girls in school. And I knew if I kept my head straight and played the mind games, I would next year no doubt I’ll be named Head Girl and Homecoming Queen and maybe even Prom Queen. I would then leave Benton Academy behind me. But I’ll leave a name behind me, like all the Potter women before me, I would have made something of my four years in this redneck private school
But that was the problem. What name would I leave for myself? Lily, my older sister, had already graduated and had taken a year off. Lily had been everything I wanted, she had been popular, had been voted Homecoming Queen, and even Prom Queen. She had been the captain of the varsity cheerleaders and had been at the center of everything social that had gone on at Benton Academy. But she often told me that she hated it, because she had to step on so many peoples toes and had to use so many people. This game of 'Human Chess' as she called it had taken a toll on her.
In fact she once saw me as just a piece on the chess board and not her brother. It was not till my transformation as Jamie did she started seeing me as human and not another piece to move around. Now I love my sister, I love her with all my heart. But that shocked me, and even more it shocked me to find out I was starting to think like her.
Now, Benton Academy has a small transgender population, for the longest time it was zero, then I came along and the population grew from zero to one and then Cerridwen joined the school and the population went from zero to two, and when I finish it will once more become one. Then who knows? The transgender population of Benton is around four maybe? Two in the public schools and two in the private schools. Is that a lot for a small town? I'm not sure.
But what kind of legacy would we leave behind? I don't want to become known as that one girl who became mad with power and used it to abuse her fellow students, and after canning Daisy I felt I was on that road. I'd taken the first step of going to confession, now it was time to take it one step further and return my badge. Sure I could have used my position as prefect for good. But the system was flawed, the pressure to conform was great. I needed to make a stand.
“Hey.” A voice from down the hallway called out. “You ready babe?”
The voice belonged to my boyfriend. Who was also a fellow prefect. And who was also a star footballer and would one day no doubt go pro if he wanted too. But right now he wants to become a locksmith. He said he's seen too many people get hurt on the field and he wants to take up a trade. He and I started seeing each other after homecoming my Freshman year, we started dating a few weeks after homecoming. We've been as thick as thieves ever since.
“Ready.. you should about this?” I said.
“It's my choice to return my badge, but are you sure you want to return yours as well?” I asked.
“We're in this together.”
Then to my great delight another one of our fellow prefect's appeared. A girl with flaming red hair and bright jewel-like eyes named Taylor. Taylor smiled and nodded her head. Behind her a boy appeared and soon the Head Girl and Head Boy appeared. Now under the prefect system there were two a total of ten prefect's one guy and gal from each grade, that to two says two for the Freshman, two for the Sophomores, two for the Juniors, and finally two for the Seniors and from the Senior class a Head Boy and Head Girl was to chosen.
And much to my amazement in the hallway gathered around me were nine of my fellow prefects. All holding in their hands the silver badges that had been pinned to the front of their shirts at the start of the year.
“Like Ben said.” Taylor said. “We are all in this together. Daisy was my cousin too. And it was wrong that you were forced to cane him.”
“How is he holding up?” I asked as I peered toward Taylor.
“Not good.” Ben said. “It's like Alcatraz down there man. They are all but chained to their desk, they drink from a metal bucket. The floors are covered in dust. The windows are caked with dirt and cobwebs. I could barely breathe down there. It's totally inhuman. Like I know it's supposed to be a punishment and stuff. But Jesus I'll hate to have to spend a whole day down there, much less weeks at a time.” Ben paused and then said something that sent a collective shiver down our spines.
“I heard when they gotta piss or even shit, they're taken to this small area in the corner of the basement, where the concrete is all broken up, and their given a shovel and they have to dig a hole and squat down and drop it off.”
I nodded my head. And to be honest I was a little grossed out by that mental picture. Then Taylor decided to add her two bits and pieces to the conversation.
“He's lost ten pounds of flesh the last time I've seen him. He looks like a bloody ghoul. His face has turned gray, his hair looks like straw, his fingernails look long and pointed. He entered there a proud, noble steed, now he's a broken workhorse. They broke him, Jamie.” Taylor said.
“I don't see how this is going to help him.” Rebecca Coleman said. Rebecca Coleman is the Captain of the Varsity Cheerleaders and also Head Girl. She was the one who appointed me Co-Captain. “But, I guess it will send a clear message, what that message is, I have no idea.” She said with a sigh. “Besides, if we turn in our badges, we'll have to quit the squad. And a lot of the girls agreed that if we quit, they will quit. So bye-bye Cheerleading at Benton Academy for the season.”
I smirked a little.
“It's not going to help him.” I said, sighing. “But at this point, I don't think there is anything we can do to help him. I mean, to be real with you guys. We are pretty much powerless. We're students after all, we have no rights. I mean If this was a public school we would have some kind of rights. But this is a private school, we are pretty much at the mercy of our teachers, a cruel sadistic head.”
“That is where you are wrong.” Ben said, smirking a little.
At that moment all eyes turned toward Ben.
“The whole defensive line agreed to quit the team if I returned my badge. No defensive line, no football team. No football team then they can't play. No playing in games, coach goofball's dream of a championship ring is dashed on the rocks. Heck, I don't see the point in playing if the cheerleaders don't cheer.”
“And the cheerleaders won't cheer if one of our own has to suffer. Or if somebody she considers a little sister has to get bullied by a big meat head!” Rebecca Coleman as she folded her arms across her chest and nodded her head.
“Daisy might not know it.” Taylor said smiling. “But he has become a folk hero now. Cerridwen was a sweet, humble, though twisted girl. She is a spit-fire alright, the way she wears those pride badges on her backpack and on the front of her blouse. But that is what makes her so great. She is not ashamed to be who she wants to be. Nobody can keep her down! What happened to her at lunch was cruel and uncalled for, but Daisy sent a powerful message that day.”
“And what message was that?” Rebecca Coleman asked as she shifted her eyes toward Taylor.
“That nobody likes a bully, and if you pick on somebody because they're different. Somebody will be there to take up the fight on their behalf.” Taylor answered.
“I guess you're right. I wonder how Daisy feels about becoming a folk hero. The Benton Academy version of Robin Hood, only without the whole stealing from the rich and giving to the poor.” Rebecca shook her head. “None of us save for Jamie woulever be considered 'rich' and she is only 'rich' by Benton Standers. That to say she'll be dirt poor when compared to the St. Katharine’s kid.”
Nobody said anything after that. I think we were all getting tired of talking and we were getting ready to go ahead and make our move. So taking a deep breath I pushed upon the wooden door and walked into the office. The School secretary, a young woman with sandy brown hair looked up and blinked. No doubt the whole prefect squad gathering around her desk this early in the morning was something to raise an eyebrow at.
“Good morning ladies and gentlemen.” She said smiling. “How may I help you?” She said, trying to put on her best smile. But I could tell she was expecting one hell of a storm to blow in.
“Good morning Ms. Smith.. I was wondering if we might talk to the head about something?” I said, taking a deep breath. It was now or never. There was no turning back from this. No retreating from this battle. I guess it was a mute testament to my leadership skills that the whole prefect squad had decided to turn in their badges with me. But was it really my leadership or were they doing it out of friendship. Who knows, God did at that moment he seemed to be holding his breath too.
Ms. Smith blinked and blinked again as she looked up.
“Sure..” She said as she shuffled around some papers on her desk. “But I'm afraid you guys can only come in one at a time.” She said, rolling her chair back. She then stood up and stepped out from behind the desk. “Who would like to go first?”
I shook my head.
“No. I don't think you understand us Ms. Smith.” I said first pointing to myself then my group of friends who had surrounded me.
“We need to talk to the Head. As it concerns us as a group, we need to be there as a group.” I said in my best, polite tone of voice.
Ms. Smith blinked and blinked again as she kept shuffling her papers around her desk. She shifted her eyes to the right and then she shifted them to the left and finally she huffed a sign and bent down and picked up her phone. She whispered something into the speaker before nodding her head.
“She is on her way out here.” She said,
A few minutes later she entered the waiting area of the office. She took a deep breath as she peered toward us and in a high and mighty voice she thundered out. She wore a charcoal colored skirt suit with her blonde hair pulled back in a tight bun
“What are you guys doing here? You guys are supposed to out keeping order in the hallways? I'm a busy woman don't you know? I don't have time for children's games. I should demote you all for slacking.” She scolded. Clearly she was in one of her moods.
Now, actions often speak louder than words. And since the footballer who had attacked Cerridwen had returned to class the next day, after the nurse had patched him up. And all he'd gotten according to my sources was a light slap on the risk and a 'Good job Son' slap on the back. It was clear that action was needed. So without saying a word I reached and removed the prefect badge that was pinned to the front of my school blouse. I then placed it down upon the desk.
“I quit.” I said.
Ben followed. Then Taylor, then Rebecca and the others whose names escaped me. The head looked like she just smelled a rotten apple.
“...”
“What is the meaning of this?!” She cried out as she watched us file out of the office.
“We're done. You forced Jamie to give a caning, you punished our friend unjustly and the guy who attacked Cerridwen just returned to class and is acting like nothing happened. In short, we're done. Find yourself some new underlings.” Ben cried out over his shoulder as he held the office door open for us.
I then turned to the group and smiled.
“Vive la revolution!” I cried out.
Then from the corner of the hallway, Cerridwen appeared. All eyes shifted toward her. She smiled and in a loud, bellowing tone of voice she cried out “Viva la resistance!”
And so the hallway echoed with the cries. “Viva la resistance! Viva la resistance! Viva la resistance!” And the whole student body took up the cry.
The Redemption of Jamie Sarah Potter
-3-
Social Media Firestorm
The news of all the school prefects turning in their badges spread like a Californian wildfire. It spread first through word of mouth then through social media. Soon the whole town knew about it. Then it happened, the cheerleaders all twelve of them turned in their pom poms and true to his word. Ben led the whole defensive line in walking off the field. There would be no Friday night football for a while it seemed. And the Head well, there was little she could do to punish us.
There was after all nothing in the handbook about a prefect returning their badge, nothing about a cheerleader quitting the team if she wished, and nothing about a footballer quitting if he wished. Word of our protest soon spread to the other team. The Girl's Softball team decided to join the cheerleaders and laid down their bats and refused to practice. That put pressure on the Boy's Softball Team to do the same. The Girl's Basketball team soon decided to join their sisters. The last holdout was the Boy's basketball team. But they soon caved in and decided to join in the fun.
All the while the first rising wisp of a fire storm on Social Media started to rise. It started first by somebody posting on 'Benton Real Talk' an Facebook group that Benton Academy's cheerleading squad had quit in protest for something. Soon the whole town wanted to know more. Then bit by bit the story started to leak out. The fact that Cerridwen was transgender was overlooked. Heck they even overlooked the fact that she was one of the few Gothic Kids at Benton.
Instead the post depicted Cerridwen as a charming Celtic beauty with raven hair and twinkling blue eyes. A shy, smart girl from the poor side of town who wanted to make something of her life. People fell in love with her and they wanted to know more about her. And the fact she had been bullied in such a manner caused many of the townspeople to shout for justice.
Then it happened. Somebody had posted on the group a two and a half minute video of the fight between Daisy and the school bully. That was at ten o' clock in the morning around two hours after I'd turned in my badge and about an hour after the cheerleaders turned in their pom poms.
By lunch time the video had been shared around five hundred times. By the end of the school day it had been shared thirteen hundred times. If somebody removed it, somebody else uploaded it again. By dinner it had been seen by sixteen thousand people. Then somebody put it on YouTube. I don't know who, but I would love to shake their hand. Because then the whole world had pretty much access to it.
I'd turned my badge in on a Friday, the next day was on Saturday. Saturday is when the manure hit the fan. Somebody, again I don't know who, uploaded the whole public caning video to Facebook. I saw the video myself. The video was hard to watch, but I found myself forcing myself to watch it. It was like reliving the whole thing again.
Like the other video this was posted on Facebook, and soon on YouTube. By Sunday afternoon, the video had been shared roughly ten thousand times and viewed a hundred thousand. I was both flattered and embarrassed that around a hundred thousand people saw me giving a canning. But then something happened. Something happened that I did not expect to happen, something that would have far, long lasting effects than just me and a handful of guys and gals turning in what amounted to a plastic toy badge.
You see a number of private, mostly mom and pop owned business sponsors Benton Academy. It was this funding that allowed Benton Academy to field a football team, a cheerleading squad. And sometimes even keep the doors open. Most of the small business owners of town even sent their own children to Benton Academy.
Anyway as the fire storm on social media spread, the business owners took notice. Lily, and her friend Robin were the first ones to act. In fact I'll go as far as to say they set a precedent for other small business owners to follow. My older sister and best friend Robin own a small coffee shop downtown, it's called 'Sweet Magnolia' it's an anime themed maid cafe with a southern flare. And when word reached Lily and Robin that one of their employees had been bullied, and another had been forced to give a cruel caning. They quickly pulled their support.
My mom and dad followed, and 'Potter Mercantile' soon pulled their support from Benton Academy. Pandora who was slow to the game was mad as hell when she learned what had happened to her daughter and quickly pulled her support from Benton Academy, Cerridwen's aunt did the same. Other businesses soon followed their example.
All of this transpired over the course of a week. I'd turned my badge in on a Monday morning and by Friday morning I once again found myself in the headmistress office.
“Miss. Potter, this game must stop!” The head said to me. “It's gone on far too long. Now, I'm willing to overlook a few things.” She said, taking a deep breath as she paced around the small room. “I'm willing to overlook a lot of things. And it seems you enjoy considerable popularity with the student body. I'm sure if you were to take up your post as prefect. And gently ask the other girls to rejoin the cheerleading squad. And get your friend..”
“No.” I said, shaking my head.Now, in the south it’s rude to cut somebody off in mid conversation. But I knew what she was driving at and I wanted no part of it.
“Miss. Potter! Do you have any idea of the trouble you have caused me!” She bellowed. “Since that little stunt you and the others pulled at the start of the week, I've been dealing with one problem after another. First It's addressing the hellish firestorm brewing on social media. You might not know it, but you have tarnished the reputation of this school beyond repair! You have soiled the name of the class of two thousand and twenty four. It will forever be remembered as the class that ruined the reputation of Benton Academy. You have forever destroyed your chances of being Homecoming Queen or Prom Queen. You have ruined your chances of personal advancement in this school.”
“So?” I shrugged.
“So? Is that all you can say? So? Miss. Potter forgive me for being blunt here. But you are throwing away everything a girl dreams about becoming when she goes through High School. But fear not, I'm willing to overlook this, and restore your chances of becoming Homecoming Queen and Prom Queen if you just resume your duties as prefect and help me sew up this little problem. The Potter family has connections, you can use those connections to get back what you have stolen from Benton Academy.”
“No.” I said, taking a deep breath.
“Damn it!” She yelled as she brought her fist down upon the desk.
“What is the end goal here!” She bellowed. “I don't understand any of this! All I did was ask you to thrash a brat! You thrashed the brat, you beat him bloody! He could barely walk and had to be carried to the nurses office! What is it that you want! Miss. Potter, I've given you everything I can give.”
“That's the problem.” I said finally.
“What is the problem?” The Headmistress said with a hiss as she turned toward me and peered directly into my face.
“Daisy did not deserve to be canned. He did not deserve the punishment that was given to him. I did not deserve to be forced to cane him. You should have! You failed as a leader, you pawned off that little chore to me. And I want a public apology.” I paused. “To me and to Daisy. I want to see Daisy back in class tomorrow morning. And I want the guy who bullied Cerridwen gone.”
“Are you making demands of me Miss. Potter?” The Headmistress said as she peered right into my eyes.
“No. I'm asking you to make things right. I'm asking you to do the right thing. Or else.” I said taking a deep breath it was time to roll the dice again.
“Or else what?” The Headmistress said with a sneer.
“I will be forced to mobilize the full weight of what social, political and financial forces we Potters can command.” I paused. “You have no idea who Daisy is do you? You have no idea of his family connections. You also have no idea because you don't want to know. I made a mistake in thrashing him and I'm doing the best I can make up for that!”
“I should send you to ISS for the rest of the school year for that little speech.” The Headmistress said as she turned away from me. “But if I do, then I'm sure that will only add fuel to the fire. Go, get out of my office.” She said as turned her head away from me. “Get out of my sight you little trouble maker.”
“With pleasure.”
And with that I walked out of the office and started to walk to my next class. As I walked I smiled and reached down into the pocket of my skirt. After a few seconds digging around I pulled out a small, digital recorder. I'd recorded the whole conversation. And little did the headmistress know that that little conversation was about to go public. I wanted my fellow students to know we were still in this fight, that we were winning. That we were wearing the enemy down. And I wanted those still on the sidelines to know that we were winning, and that they could still join us.
As I walked to class though I passed Daisy, he was coming back from lunch. His eyes seemed dim, his school shirt hung off him. His face seemed sunk in. His skin seemed gray and he seemed defeated. He was marching in a line. There must have been about four students in that grim line that passed me, all of them seemed like the meanest creatures ever to walk the face of the earth. One looked at me and grinned a feral grin.
“Stay strong..” I said as I watched Daisy from my sight. “Stay strong! You hear me Daisy Isabella Bell! Stay strong!” I bellowed.
I could not help myself. I had to yell a name that would mean something to the boy. That name 'Daisy Isabella Bell' was the name that Daisy would have been given if he had been born a girl. It was a name I often called him when we were alone. It was the same name he wanted to use if ever decided to play Dotty in the monthly fundraiser. I don't know what made me use it.
Daisy turned around and smiled at me, a few seconds later he was pushed down by the boy behind him. My heart was wrenched. A few more seconds passed before he vanished from my sight. I then made a promise to myself that I would not stop until Daisy could breathe the free air again.
The Redemption of Jamie Sarah Potter
-4-
Armageddon
What happened next, none of us expected, and I none of us could have ever dreamed of in our wildest dreams. But somehow the fact that Cerridwen was transgender got out. I mean, I'm also transgender too. But I'm not as open as she is about it. I was dismayed when that little bit of news broke. I expected that would take all the wind from our sails and our so far united effort would fall apart piece by piece. But as history proved me wrong.
As things often happened in the course of an uprising our goals changed when the news broke. Our aims became more ambitious, more noble. The afternoon that news broke on social media that Cerridwen was transgender the student council also happened to be meeting that very afternoon to decide their official stance on what was transpiring. It took four rounds of heated debate for them to decide on what to do.Then with one loud, united voice they decreed that Benton Academy should be a safe place for every student to get the best education possible. And that bullying of any kind had no place in the new school we wanted to make.
This now became our rallying cry and it spread again like an uncontrollable wildfire through social media. Our friends at Benton School, the town's only public high school, also took up the cry. And even our oldest rival Manchester Academy decided to stand with us. And then far away St. Katherine's Episcopal Academy, an Episcopal institution located on the high bluffs that over the Mississippi River in Vicksburg to cast their fate with our lot.
And so across two counties, Yazoo and Warren students from four different schools came together. United in one common cause. The following Monday I wore a different kind of badge. The one I wore now had five horizontal stripes, two light blue, two pink and one white in the center. It was a badge that represented the transgender community and I was proud to wear it.
The next day, I saw a sea of them. Every student in Benton Academy was wearing one. I was surprised to see so many. But it made my heart swell with pride. It reminded me of how special Benton Academy was. It honestly reminded me of how I felt when I first came out and how my fellow classmates had taken up for me.
The Headmistress of course responded with rage. And ordered that we remove all of those badges at once. Nobody did though. After all there was nothing in the rule book about us wearing them, and if the redneck's could wear their 'MAGA' hats. We could wear our badges. A fissure it seemed had opened up in the student body. One one side we had those who had hated what Benton Academy became, who still thought I was the reason Benton Academy had lost its two thousand and nineteen homecoming. Back when I was still a lowly Freshman. It was those kinds of people who thought that Daisy had gotten what was coming to him and thought the whole ongoing struggle was nothing but a shit show. These people were more upset because there was no cheerleading or football on Friday night.
And on the other side of the coin you had us, who had taken the Trans Pride badge as a token. We were showing support for a student who had been bullied and made a laughing stock in a crowded lunchroom. We wanted to show her that we stood with her. And in the middle the kind of gray area you had those who were still trying to figure out where they stood. Some wanted to bring the two sides together, others wanted to just go about their daily lives.
At first I expected that to stay within our little school. Then student's at Benton High started wearing Transpride badges to show they stood with us and likewise other students at Benton High started wearing 'MAGA' hats to show they stood with their belligerent students of Benton Academy. Then the town itself started to mirror the two schools.
The following business, I've recorded here for the sake of this narrative, decided to go one step further and display Transpride flags from the flagpoles located in front of their business. They did this, to show support for I guess Cerridwen and Daisy? Anyway those businesses who stood with us were as follows. Sweet Magnolia, Bakery and Tea Room, Ginger Evans Bakery, Potter Mercantile, Brewer Hardware, Edwards Butchery Shop, Sunflower Food Store, Croft Veterinary Clinic, Pandora Family Salon, Persephone Seamstress and Tailoring, Hunter's Forge, and last but not least Alton Feed and Seed. It's safe to say most of the downtown business stood behind us. Also I failed to mention that Coleman Steakhouse also at the last minute decided to support us.
A number though remained neutral, those included your cafe's and your big named places to eat. I can't fault them for that.
But a few mostly the bars around town started to proudly display 'MAGA' flags in front of their business to show where they stood. The town it seemed was being divided and the people of the town looked to the church. And how did the church respond? Well Fr. Bell decided that our cause was right and after Mass one morning marched out and waved the Transpride flag in front of the church. The Southern Baptist church across town decided that we were wrong and decided to display an 'MAGA' flag.
Fr. Bell's friend in Yazoo City, Fr. Percy decided to follow his example and waved the Trans Pride Flag in front of St. George's Episcopal Church. This was of course shared on social media. And boy once more social media blew the ever loving hell up. St. Katherine's in Vicksburg soon under the guidance of Fr. Blackthorn in Vicksburg decided to follow suit, and soon Fr. Golden of St. Thompson in Belzoni soon followed.
Other parishes across Mississippi soon followed. The Liberal parishes of Jackson voiced their approval. Joined in. It seemed the eyes of the world had turned toward this small, forgotten southern town. The Headmistress, you can tell, was starting to break. For the second week in a row there would be no football. And again come Friday I found myself hauled into the Head's office.
“Okay.” She said, taking a deep breath. “This is what I'll do. I'll pardon everybody, I mean everybody who has chosen to wear those tacky little badges. I'll make you a prefect again. And I'll sweep this all under the rug.” She said smiling.
I shook my head.
“Okay I'll do all that, and apologies in front of the prefects for having you came Mr. Bell.”
I shook my head again.
“... Ms. Potter you are walking on thin ice..” She said, taking a deep breath.
I smiled.
“It's been two weeks! Two weeks now! You forget I can extend that boy's stay in that hell hole. I can make his life a living hell. I can have him beaten till he can barely breath if he steps on foot out of line. I have that kind of power over him.” She said as she slammed her hands down on her desk.
“My demands still stand.” I said, smiling sweetly. At this point I turned on the little record I had tucked away in the pocket of my skirt. I had a feeling the Head was about to blow her stack and I wanted every word to be caught on tape. So I could upload it again to social media along with the conversation from last week.
“I will not bend before you Miss. Potter, I am the adult here, you are nothing but a child. Hell your not even a real girl! You are just some little boy who was too much of a little bitch to man up and face his problems. I was all for letting you prance around here and pretend to girl. Because of your last name and how respected your family was in the community. But that Gothic, little teenage, witch out there. Has nothing, I mean nothing to offer this school. She should be in the public school. I wish that Mr. Jones would have done more that just poured milk over her head!” She muttered.
“Could you repeat that. A little louder and clearer this time.” I said still smiling the sweetest little girl smile I could manage. My blood was damn near boiling. It was taking every ounce of self control I had not to reach across the desk and slap the tar out of this woman.
“I said 'I will not bend before you Miss. Potter, I am the adult here, you are nothing but a child. Hell you are not even a bloody real girl! You are just some little boy who was too much of a little bitch to man up and face his problems. I was all for letting you prance around and pretend to be a girl. Because I valued your last name and how respected your family was in the community. But Cerridwen Whitethorn, is nothing more than a Gothic, little teenage witch, who is a damn pagan and does not belong in a Christian School'.” She said in a loud, clear voice. Her voice echoed off the walls of the room.
But the moment she saw me smirking was the moment every ounce of color drained from her face and she became white as a sheet. I like to think, it was at that moment it dawned on her, the battle lines had been drawn. If she knew it or not, she had taken out an invisible sword and drawn an invisible line in the dirt in front of me and had dared me to step across it. And me, being me, not only had stepped away over it, but had gone back and erased it with my foot.
“Ms. Potter. I'm warning you. If you leak that conversation to the public. I will have you removed from this school. I'm warning you! I will not be bullied Ms. Potter! Not be a mere child!” She yelled, her voice echoed around the room. At that very moment I thought my eardrum was about to explode.
“Is that a threat?” I said in a coy manner.
“Jamie Sarah Potter! I'm warning you! If that conversation leaves this room. I will not only remove you removed from this school. But I will have Cerridwen Circe Whitethorn removed as well along with James Donald Bell. And all your little friends. Do not test me! I am tired of playing these silly little games. I'm tired of it. Sick and tired of it.” The Head set.
As the head ranted and raved. I stood up and moved toward the intercom switch. She was clearly too caught up in her little hiss fit to notice me easing my hand toward the button. Without breaking eye contact with her I flipped the intercom on.
“Can you please repeat that?” I said in a loud, clear voice. “I've been having a little trouble hearing lately, wax buildup behind the ear. Waiting for mom to make me an doctors appoint me with the folks down in Jackson.”
“What would you like to have repeated?” The Headmistress said. I don't know if she was dumb or not. But I guess at this point she was so full of herself she did not care. I mean surely she must have heard the intercom system turn on. Surely she must know if she repeated what she just said to me, not more than a few minutes ago the whole school would hear it. Could she really be so blind? So dumb? Or did she think that nobody in town would touch her? That she could get away with murder if she wanted to? Well, I was about to find out.
“All of it.” I said, taking a deep breath.
“For the last time, and I swear to by God, Jesus and the Holy Family I will not repeat myself. So you better open up your ears and list good. I said 'I will not bend before you Miss. Potter, I am the adult here, you are nothing but a child. Hell you are not even a bloody real girl! You are just some confused little boy boy who was too much of a little bitch to man up and face his problems. I was all for letting you prance around and pretend to a girl. Because I valued your last name and how respected your family was in the community. But Cerridwen Circe Whitethorn, is nothing more than a Gothic, little teenage witch, who is a damn pagan and does not belong here in a good Christian School.' Did I make myself clear that time?” She said in a sharply raised tone of voice.
“Crystal and the whole school just heard it too.”
The Headmistress blinked and blinked again.
“Check and mate.” I said grinning.
And that is how Armageddon started at Benton Academy.
The Redemption of Jamie Sarah Potter
-5-
Babylon has Fall
The whole school heard the Head's words. The Board of Trustees who had long stood in stark silence could no longer sit on the edge of the fence. They had to move. They had to remove her. Daisy's sentence was suspended and a public apology was issued by Trustees of the school over what had happened. And in a strange twist of fate, both Cerridwen and Daisy were named prefects by the new Head.
The new head acted quickly, Mr. Jones was banned from playing football ever again for Benton Academy, a few days later an suspension order was handed to him. Last I heard his folks had enrolled him in the town's public school. A few days after he arrived, my friend Madeline told me a few good ol' boys took him out behind the field house and beat some sense into him with their fist. Nobody saw anything.
One more thing about Daisy and Cerridwen, their dating now. Well I think they're dating, I consider them dating, I don't know what the two call it. You see, about every two weeks the people of Haunted Hollow hold something called an 'Ceilidh' kind of a folk celebration. Most of the people who settled in Haunted Hollow come from either Irish, Welsh, or Scottish backgrounds. And from what I'm told an 'Ceilidh' is just a local gathering or celebration where traditional dress is worn, traditional dances are performed and traditional music is played.
Anyway Cerridwen asked Daisy to attend one and the two kind of hit it off. As for me, I was made a prefect again. It seemed I'd displayed some real talent for leadership in this whole misadventure and the student body had grown to trust me. The use of the cane has been banned. And prefects can no longer dish out corporal punishment. I would have liked to have had corporal punishment banned all the way around.
But this is the South and this is a private school. So I guess we'll have to live with corporal punishment for a little longer. Maybe in a generation or two it would fade out. But as now, only the new Headmistress and the school nurse can hand out corporal punishments. I guess that's progress.
And so ends another misadventure. The 'MAGA' forces have retreated to their dark caves, to brood and plan and to dream up schemes of revenge. Benton Academy is a little more enlightened. Our new Headmistress is trying hard not to let her position get to her head and become power hungry like the last one. I wish her luck, power is one hell of a drug.
And so ends another chapter in life. I have only one more year left before I get my diploma. And I hope I can make that year count for something. Also Lily is proud of me. I never thought she would be proud of me. I don't think older siblings are supposed to be proud of their younger ones. But she is.
Before I end, I would like to add my own personal views. Our old Headmistress was a good person. I thought she would be the one to bring Benton Academy from the Jim Crow past to the present. But in the end she fell into a trap that a lot have. She allowed her position to get the better of her. Sometimes I wonder what name I would leave behind when I finish? Lily left behind a Varsity Cheerleading Program that in two years went from being a laughing stock to one of the finest in the state. Me? I have no idea. I guess I only have to trust Cerridwen, Daisy and Taylor to carry on my work. Just like Lily trusted me.
The End.